All right, guys. Today we're going to

talk about how Dr. K stays healthy. So,

I have a lot of responsibilities in

life. I'm sure y'all do, too. I work as

a psychiatrist and medical doctor. I do

this whole healthy gamer thing, which

sometimes means that people will comment

things on the internet that aren't the

nicest about me. Sometimes people like

the New York Times will write articles

about me. I also take care of five

people over the age of 70 in terms of

certain medical things, winterizing

their house, stuff like that. I've got

two kids at home, so there's like

parenting involved and my wife is just a

touch high maintenance. So, how do I

stay mentally healthy, mentally focused,

excited about the work that I do? I'm

lucky in a lot of ways. So, let's kind

of dive in. So, how do I stay mentally

healthy? First thing is I engage in a

shocking number of bad habits. So, the

first bad habit that I I engage in

purposely, which I think really helps me

a lot, is I sleep with my cell phone

right next to my bed. Now, this is

advice that I have given that you should

not sleep with your cell phone right

next to your bed. It's a bad idea. have

your phone out of reach. There are

studies that show that even having your

phone face down in the same room with

you drains your willpower a little bit.

So why do I do this? Really simple. So

one is because I'm a medical doctor and

because I take care of five people over

the age of 70. Sometimes I get phone

calls in the middle of night. So I need

the phone there. But I discovered

something that's a little bit more

important. See a lot of us try to create

an environment and a habit sort of

structure so that things are easy for

us. So a lot of us go for I want an easy

life and high outcomes, right? So, I

want everything to be efficient. I want

everything to be easy so I can knock it

out of the park. What I sort of

discovered is that there's a whole scale

deconditioning of our capabilities in

society, especially by technology. So,

we're seeing that the more you make

things easy on yourself, the less

capable you become. So, I sleep with my

cell phone right next to me and when I

wake up in the morning about a year and

a half ago, I used to spend 45 minutes

on my phone first thing in the morning.

It's the advice that Dr. K absolutely

says you should never do this. Drains

your dopamine. all this kind of stuff. I

used to do it, too. And so then I

thought to myself, okay, should I like

should I stop doing this because this is

not good for my brain. It's not good for

my dopamine. I said, actually, no. I'm

what I'm going to do is wake up every

morning and I'm going to intentionally

not use it for the first hour of the

day. I'm actually not going to make

things easy for myself. I'm not going to

turn things into a habit. I will wake up

in the morning and I will struggle with

it. So, this does a couple of really

important things. The first is that it

messes up your performance, right? So

there are many days where I would crack

and then my dopamine stores would be

messed up for the rest of the day. But

over time, as I set one really specific

target, I'm just not going to use my

cell phone in the morning. Fail many

days a week. That's okay. About a year,

year and a half later, now I almost

never get on my phone in the morning.

And here's the really, really

interesting thing. As you train yourself

to not use your phone, you don't make it

easy on yourself. You train yourself to

be able to resist. What I found is that

my cell phone use has decreased from

about four and a half hours a day to

about one and a half to two hours of the

day. Strengthening your willpower first

thing in the morning actually translates

through to the rest of the day. So the

first thing that I do to stay mentally

healthy is to stay sort of cognitively

fit. So don't just make everything easy

on yourself and train yourself up in the

particular skills that you're interested

in. Part of the reason that I'm able to

resist my cell phone, and granted it

takes about a year, is because I've done

some amount of mental training. So I I

talk about this in Dr. K's guide to

meditation, but there are two specific

things that I think you guys can look

into if you're having trouble with this.

One is pratihara. Pratiahara means

sensory withdrawal. So basically what

happens is in our attention, in our

mind, our mind will go towards the

sensory objects outside of us. So I like

think about my phone. I want my phone. I

see my phone. I reach for my phone.

There's literally a meditation practice

that is all about withdrawing your

attention from the senses and back into

your mind. When you train in breathara,

I find that it makes it way easier to do

a lot of stuff because it basically

reduces our distraction. I keep seeing

comments, Dr. K, how do I apply this to

a situation in my life? That's literally

why we created a coaching program. Our

coaches are certified on an

evidence-based curriculum designed to

help you get unstuck. This involves

analyzing your patterns, increasing your

understanding, and working with you week

to week to help you develop a plan to

create lasting change. So, if y'all are

interested, check out the link in the

description below. Second thing that I

do is I really think about my energy

like a battery. Now, a lot of us when we

feel tired, we will take a break, right?

Oh my god, I can't work anymore now. I

have to take a break. Once I take a

break, I'm kind of like veging out for a

little bit. Like my mind gets kind of

numb. I'm doing something. A 30-minute

break ends up being an hour, two hours,

and then I come back to work and I'm

even more exhausted. So, one of the

things that I do is I literally pay

attention. This is an exercise that I

learned when I was running this thing

called the smart program, the stress

management and resilience training

program for 600 physicians across the

country in the United States. So,

there's a really cool exercise called

the energy battery exercise, which is

just to ask people what drains your

energy and what gives you energy. As I

go throughout my day, I really pay

attention to what really drains my

energy. So, at the top of the list is

caffeine. So, caffeine does not give you

energy. All it does is block your

sensation of tiredness. So, I noticed

that there are a lot of things that I do

that would let me power through, right?

So, I'm going to drink a cup of coffee

at 4 p.m. because I have all this work

to do. And this is important to

understand. Caffeine doesn't give you

energy. It is a loan against future

energy. There are a lot of things that I

do throughout the day that actually

decrease my energy. Another good example

is the way that we take breaks. So, I

just sort of noticed that when I would

take a break and let's say I pull out my

cell phone or I, you know, browse Reddit

for 15 minutes because I can't focus on

the paper I'm reading or whatever. What

I noticed is that there's a lot of stuff

I do in my breaks that actually drains

me more. And then it gets really like

you get into this cycle that's like,

okay, I'm going to take a break. I'm

going to browse on my phone for an hour.

But then you don't feel like refreshed

and rejuvenated when you go back to

work. The purpose of taking a break is

to recharge your energy levels so that

you can work more efficiently. Instead,

we've got this combination of doom

scrolling and caffeine which is

depleting my energy, allowing me to

finish this work, but is sort of leaving

me completely in tatters at the end of

the day. So, really pay attention to

what can you do during your breaks that

actually improve your energy level. As I

started paying attention, I noticed that

there are also all kinds of other things

that really cost me a lot of energy.

This includes things like social

relationships. So, there were certain

people that would call me just to chat

or sometimes I'd get text message or

invitations. And there like some people

in my life that I just found absolutely

exhausting. Now, I have to maintain a

relationship with these people. I want

to rel maintain a relationship with

these people, but I also don't have to

do it like right when they call. So I

think a greater awareness of through

just asking yourself a simple question

at the end of this what will my energy

level be and focusing a lot on breaks

and recovery is crucial. So for me a

couple of things that I do to increase

my energy level are take naps and walk.

These are the two biggest things. So

naps become a bit tricky because a lot

of people that you know I worked as a

psychiatrist will say like okay if I nap

I end up napping for like 3 hours or 4

hours. I can't take a 20-minute nap. I

can't take a 30-minute nap. So, if you

are sleepdeprived, if you're using too

much caffeine, then a nap may turn into

a 3-hour nap. The other thing that I

learned about napping when I was

meditating is sometimes I would fall

asleep during meditation. You know, I'd

be meditating for an hour, 2 hours, 3

hours. And so, my teachers, and I I

thought this was a problem. So, I'd go

to my teachers and I'd say, "Hey, I keep

on like falling asleep during

meditation. What do I do about this?"

And they said, "Look, if your body is

tired, if you're sleepd deprived, then

you will fall asleep during meditation.

That's okay. It won't last forever." And

what I've noticed about napping

specifically is as I cut back on my

caffeine, as I maintain my energy levels

better, I start to sleep better at

night. And now I'm down to about 20 or

30 minute naps. So I strongly recommend

that you all set a timer for about 20 to

25 minutes. If you're having trouble

with napping and the reason is because

that first 20 minutes is enough for

physiologic recovery. And once we start

entering stage 2, stage 3, stage 4, and

REM sleep, then it becomes really hard

to wake up. Next thing that I discovered

is absolutely fascinating. So, I don't

know if this happens to y'all, but I

noticed that over the last couple of

years, like I would watch a TV show and

I would pull out my phone during the

boring parts of the TV show. I would

also play video games and I was like,

"Oh my god, this video game isn't fun."

I'd check the reviews and be like,

"Okay, I'm 6 hours in or like like I'd

watch a show, right? I'm 6 hours in.

Does it really get better?" So, a good

example of this is like I tried watching

Six Feet Under and I watched a couple of

episodes and I was like, "Okay, does it

get better?" I tried to play like Dune

Awakening and I thought it was like a

really cool game and I really enjoyed

parts of it, but I was like, "Okay, does

it like really get better? I'm not

thrilled with the combat." So, I noticed

something really interesting, which is

that I force myself to power through

entertainment that I don't enjoy. I keep

on watching a show on Netflix to wait

for it to get good. I keep on playing a

video game in order for it to get good.

I was wasting huge amounts of time not

even having fun, even being on my cell

phone when I'm watching a show while I'm

waiting for it to get good. And I looked

at this and I was like, what the hell am

I why am I trying to power through and

force myself to waste 60 hours of my

life? Like, what am I actually doing?

So, I started doing something really,

really simple, which is when I get bored

with a game or a TV show, I stop it. So

it with my Dota friends, they've gotten

a little bit frustrated with me because

I'm kind of this one and done. They're

like, "Well, you just logged on. You're

like, "Hey, do you want to play Dota? We

all logged on now. We're all here

playing one game and then you're

bailing." Fair point, right? So I don't

message those people anymore. If I want

to play a game of Dota, I'm going to

stick around for a couple of games. But

I think it's like really bizarre that we

try to force ourselves to stick with

entertainment in order for it to get

good. I just stopped doing that. Like

the moment that I pull out my cell

phone, I said, "Okay, hold on a second.

I'm not having fun with this. So, I'm

gonna stop and I'm gonna go do something

else. This is really bizarre, but I I

watch TV sometimes in my bed. And so,

I'll just literally turn off the TV. I

will turn to my left side and I will

close my eyes for about 20 minutes. Now,

y'all may have noticed something kind of

interesting. You guys know that when

you're watching TV or you're on your

phone or something, you start to feel

sleepy, right? You're pretty tired. You

don't feel like getting up and then you

turn it off and then you try to close

your eyes and go to sleep because you're

tired. And then something weird happens.

The moment that you put your screen away

or you turn off the TV, you no longer

feel sleepy and your mind becomes

active. So then you're like, "Okay, do I

go back to watching or what goes on?" So

the sequence for me used to be turn off

TV, lay down, try to close my eyes, and

then pull out my cell phone 5 minutes

later. So instead, what I do, I lay down

on my left side for about 20 minutes.

Then what I notice is like I'm

rejuvenated. Like like I don't know if

this makes sense, but when you turn off

the TV and you close your eyes, then you

feel bored and your mind actually turns

on. So, I stay there for about 20

minutes and then I get up and then I

notice that my energy levels are

actually way higher. So, I stop powering

through because it's actually a complete

waste of time to wait to get hooked. And

that's really what we're looking for,

right? Like we're looking to get hooked.

We're looking to want to be consumed

with this thing. But this creates

another problem. And this is sort of

what I've noticed as I stopped doing

this is like now that I'm no longer like

getting hooked to TV and video games,

I'm noticing something really cool,

which is that my enjoyment of other

activities is actually skyrocketing. So,

I've started reading fiction again. I've

started reading non-fiction. And it's

sort of like if I don't force my brain

into falling into dopamineergic crap, it

actually works way better for other

kinds of things. Next thing I do to stay

mentally healthy, I prioritize about one

hour of work a day on passion projects.

So this is really important. So the

standard sequence of things is, you

know, I wake up, I have to go to work, I

go to work, I work there for 8 hours, I

commute back home, I have to take care

of this, I have to take care of that.

We're just wiped at the end of the day.

Okay? And so then there's like all this

stuff that I want to do. Maybe I want to

learn how to play piano. For me, it's

it's learning how to become a better

writer. So there are certain things that

I like want to do. meditation, yoga, all

that kind of stuff. At the end of the

day, we're just tired. So, this is

actually something I started in

residency. So, when I was in when you're

in residency, like you work a lot, okay?

So, you're working 80 hours a week, to

100 hours a week. In psychiatry,

sometimes we would work 60 65. And so, I

sort of noticed that like for a period

of 4 years, like I'm learning

psychiatry, but I'm not advancing in

anything else. So, I started getting up

actually 30 minutes earlier or getting

even getting ready faster. Um, it's not

even 30 minutes. I'd get up like 15

minutes earlier. I just get ready really

fast for the day. I'd plan a little bit

the night before so I don't have to like

pack my lunch or whatever. And then I

would sit down and do like 20 to 30

minutes of like stuff that I wanted to

do. And this is what I noticed is that

when I spend some amount of time ideally

every day, but realistically ends up

being like 4 days a week, including

weekends, doing stuff that I want to do,

doing stuff that I feel passionate

about. Like 2 or 3 days ago, I wrote

1,917

words in 66 minutes. So what happened?

It changes your perception of control

and autonomy in life. There's a lot of

research that shows that feeling out of

control is not actually dependent on

your environment. It is about how many

choices you make. So there's a lot of

research that shows that having control

of your life, having purpose or

direction in your life comes from making

choices. So when we live in a world

where it's like, okay, I have to go to

work and then I come home and then I

feel exhausted, I have no energy, it's

hard to do anything. Three months can go

by and all you've done is go to work and

come home. You haven't made any progress

in anything that you're passionate

about. So, this sounds kind of

counterintuitive because people would

say, "Okay, do the work first. Make sure

you do your laundry. Make sure you do

this. Make sure you do this." But we

live in a world where we're squeezed so

we're squeezed so hard. There's no juice

left. There's nothing left at the end of

the day. The world demands so much of

you. The only way to stay mentally

healthy for me is to do that stuff first

thing in the morning. So at least at the

end of the week, you know, I got to

spend a few hours doing what I love,

growing as a person, improving myself,

and that really pays dividends over the

long run. The last thing that I do to

stay mentally healthy is disbelieve my

mind. So I know this sounds kind of

weird, but like your mind is not a

beacon of truth. In fact, quite the

opposite. Our mind has evolved to have

certain cognitive biases. Depending on

how active our emotional circuitry is,

we start to think in black and white. we

start to catastrophize. We start to make

comparisons. And so, one of the things

that I've sort of noticed that really

helps me stay mentally healthy is that

sometimes my mind is wrong. If we look

at the nature of most mental illness,

the more severe the mental illness is,

the more people believe their mind. So,

if I have psychosis and delusional

thinking, which is generally considered

to be a pretty severe form of mental

illness, my mind tells me that the FBI

is following me and I believe it. If we

look at people who are severely

depressed and are suicidal, they're

people who believe that their loved ones

would be better off without them. That's

what their mind is telling them and they

actually believe it. So if we look at

the process of literally moving from

psychiatrically hospitalized with severe

mental illness to being in remission and

no longer needing psychiatric treatment,

the one thing that changes in basically

every mental illness is our capacity to

disbelieve our mind. So, there are a

couple of things that I look out for.

The first is, is my mind thinking black

and white? So, am I thinking, I'm

screwed. This is going to end in

disaster. This is going to be amazing,

right? This is going to be perfect. This

is everything that we need. Oh my god,

we're going to do this new hire or we

just came up with this new idea for a

video and it's going to be the best

video on the planet. Anytime my thinking

is one, one, 100 or zero, I stop. I take

a step back and I'm like, "Okay, take a

deep breath. Take a walk for a little

bit. Revisit this. Just disbelieve your

mind." The second thing that I

disbelieve my mind with is comparisons.

So anytime my mind makes a comparison, I

take a big step back and I think to

myself, no, this is like not correct.

This is fundamentally not correct. And

here's kind of my reasoning. So I I sit

in a weird space where I'm like a

doctor, I'm a creator, I'm an

entrepreneur, right? And I'm not trying

to like humble brag here, but this is

just where I sit. I'm just sharing the

inside of my mind. Okay? And the thing

is I'm like mediocre at all three of

those things. TBH, right? So I look at

doctors who are better than me. I look

at influencers who are bigger than me. I

look at entrepreneurs who are more

wealthy than I am. So, I know it sounds

kind of weird, but like doesn't matter

where you are, your mind can always make

comparisons. And so, anytime my mind

makes a comparison, I try to take a step

back. I try to think to myself, okay, if

I devoted 100% of my time to being a

physician, could I match that person?

Maybe. If I focused on making a bunch of

money, could I succeed in that? Maybe.

If I focused on becoming the most

popular content creator and I started

making a lot more clickbait content, if

I started doing interviews and and

things like that where there's a lot of

voyers in the audience and I try to make

people cry, could I be more successful?

Absolutely. But do I want to do those

things? Do I want that life? Do I want a

life where I spend 2 hours a day with my

kids on average or do I want to make a

million more dollars a year? Right? What

do I actually want? So, I'm very careful

about believing or disbelieving what my

mind says and recognize that it's just

an instrument that is designed to take

sensory input and then form some kind of

conclusion, but my mind is definitely

not an arbiter of truth. Last thing that

I want to spend a moment talking about

is how limited all of this stuff is. So,

I I think I gain a ton of mileage. I

think it's been very very transformative

for me to do all of these things. is

it's one of the ways that I stay, you

know, mentally healthy and stay engaged

and stay passionate about the work that

I do. It's a way to deal with burnout.

But this way of living is very

luxurious. So, if you look at research

on, you know, mental security and and

financial security and mental wellness,

quality of life, things like that, there

are a couple things that I have going

for me that a lot of people don't. The

first of which is I have a roof over my

head and I'm generally speaking

financially secure. I'm on a financial

path where like I'm not going to be

super loaded or anything like that, but

I'll be able to save for my retirement.

I'll be able to support my children

some. They'll probably have to work in

their life. And so that is a huge load

off of my back. There have been times in

my life where I haven't been sure how

I'm going to make ends meet. There have

been times in my life where I haven't

been sure like where I'm going to live

or where I'm going to end up, you know,

staying. And the cost of that for your

mental cannot be underestimated. It is

huge. The other huge thing that I have

going for me is that I have a nuclear

family that I love and love me in turn.

There's like no abuse or toxicity in my

household, right? I mean, maybe my kids

will disagree when they're older, but

you know, I I spend time doing homework

with my kids. My kids give me a hug

every day. We play Smash Brothers

together. We recently reached a really

cool milestone. So, about a year year

and a half ago, I used to be able to 2v1

them like pretty easily. But holy, like

now when we 2v1, I don't stand a chance.

They just take turns edgeguarding me on

cooldowns and there's like no way for me

to survive. I have a marriage that I

think is relatively healthy. I'm pretty

happy. My wife is pretty happy. And

there's no way to underestimate the

value of that. Part of the reason that

we made the relationship guide and

things like that. I just want to be

clear with y'all that I think all of the

stuff in this video is stuff that you

can do. But make no mistake that there

are such important foundations for your

mental health that are outside of this

stuff. And my hope is by implementing

some of these things, y'all will be able

to move in a direction that helps you

have healthy relationships, be

productive, and be financially secure.