Where is everybody?

Then we go for some lighter vibes

in ://about blank

(hard techno music)

Then we go to

Lokschuppen

Modern art gallery

Yes

Just for dinner.

But the party doesn't begin until 2am

when we go to Berghain

This is Berghain,

statistically harder

to get into than Stanford

40m high concrete so thick

it cancels you student loan anxiety

What about the clothes?

It’s recommended to wear clothes, yes

...but we get rejected from Berghain

So we go to Plan B in Kater

But we also get rejected from Kater

So we go to club right next to it

Holzmarkt

Water

Eat before you go

yeah eat before you go is such as good tip

take cash

actually facts

actually facts yeah

After the afterparty,

we go to after-afterparty

at R.SO

now you'd need Resident Advisor Ticket

because Identified Patient is playing

Then at 4AM,

quick rave

at somebody’s front garden

(raving)

(heavy breathing)

Then we go for brunch

in Michelin star restaurant

If I take the t-shirt and

everything off, just leave the-

maybe if you have

just black underwear

you can go inside

we tried getting into the Berghain

*party*

This is East Berlin

Hey, I want to go once into KitKatClub

It’s always cash-only.

...you need to wear this to go in there

This would be

completely wrong concept

or understanding of the club itself

okay, okay

so maybe that's why I didn't

get in

43 times.

I know this summer

a lot of you

are planning to crash in

gluten-free AirBnB in Berlin

You are thinking of making

a little bit of party and techno music

while still possible.

You have heard that Berlin's

culture is on life support

because investment firms are nibbling it

like a fat pigeon.

Watergate

Watergate and Griessmühle

have already closed

But don't come.

wait until all of this

is Marriott hotels and R&B clubs.

Today, I will do quick tour guide

of UNESCO techno-city island.

A small, ultra-progressive,

financial sinkhole East Berlin.

Quick sightseeing tour

Berghain

Tresor

Warschauer Brücke

oh hi

oh good to see you

is my accountant

Brandenburger Gate

But why so many techno clubs in Berlin?

Quick history lesson

Berlin Wall

you thought it was a straight line, no?

during the Cold War

no one in the West

wanted to live near the wall

so the state offered

subsidies and military exemptions

of course only crazy pacifists came

after the wall fell down

West Berlin peace punks

airdropped into the east

because abandoned Soviet warehouses were perfect

for making parties and latex clothing

Basements became recording studios

Dog-biscuit factory became

exclusive nightclub

Berlin is the place to be,

always has been

How to party

Your first step

is pre-warmup in

M10 Stadtbahn

Then you go to your local neighborhood bridge...

...for a rave

Rave under bridge

Then you befriend a telegram admin

to find a more exclusive rave

Quick pre-warmup cycle

for next day at Sisyphos

Then 12PM,

small rave on street

(raving)

72 hour club marathon is essential

for East Berlin

for East Berlin GDP

But the local techno economy

is not profitable

Every year,

tourism

is increasingly paying

for the loudspeaker bills

every year

we need more tourist apartments than residence

obviously

Ah

can you smell the

the Four Seasons Hotel?

But the clubdying is real

It is happening faster

than inflation of kebab prices

East Berlin is growing as a business hub

and attractive investment asset

Wherever there's

an anarchist graffiti painting,

a new hotel spawns,

gentrifying its community with

high prices

and clean pavements

So to make historic

financial sinkhole East Berlin

more profitable,

the city built

Mediaspree

A modern financial sinkhole.

Now we go to Kreuzberg

(breathing in berlin air)

Kottbusser Tor

Many people think

this is East Berlin

But it is not real East Berlin

East Berlin smells much worse

(breathing in berlin air)

Kottbusser Tor

now some quick impressions

of the word "wunderbar"

WUNDERBAR

WuNdErBar

wunderbar

://about blank (club)

...my friends

they are doing underground raves

Do you speak to the bouncer

in German?

I speak German? No.

I dont speak-

I’ve literally lived here like 3 years -

but I don’t speak German

First I need to speak English a little bit

Make friends

Meet people

It’s only

it's only network

Everyone is so open to newcomers

it looks different

than like other cities

cause in other cities

everyone just dresses kind of the same

Basically

There's a freedom to be yourself

maybe that there isn’t in

like in, say, London,

you get heckled on the tube and stuff

We tried getting into the Berghain

But that's very exclusive

[Berghain] because it's so famous club

and inside it's amazing.

Are you getting in Berghain every time?

ehh sometimes.

I got a question

how do I get into Sysiphos?

What the—?

But I didn't want to be just wunderbar

like everyone

I wanted to be more wunderbar

I wanted to be

the wunderbarest

KitKat!

But KitKat, it’s more like

more sexy outfits

you need

like special dress codes

But if I take the t-shirt

and everything off, just leave the...

Maybe if you have just black underwear

you can go inside

You think they will let me in?

Yeah...

Maybe

I'm actually not sure.

They say if you want to go into KitKatClub,

you need professional help.

How you doing?

So I went my local latex store

It is not said at the door of

KitKatClub that

you need to wear this to go in there

This would be

completely wrong concept

or understanding of the club itself

Think it over

and say

Hey, “I'm there for the party”

"I am

"I am the centre for the universe"

I like this,

I am the center of the universe.

This is probably my favorite one

€240?

Do you have something for

€11 to €12?

No.

...like people coming in here

telling us,

Hey, I want to go once to KitKatClub

Do you do loans on the 240?

No.

I have got no idea of the party

that is happening.

I don't want to go once,

I wanna go

twice!

So I went to my artist friend

in €9 Oatmilk Cafe

for more budget friendly advice

First pre-warmup

in my favorite 'public toilet'

(the event) it's the toilet...

let's see

I usually come every Saturday

okay?!

So have you heard about the party before?

I just know about 'Ninetta'

one of the DJs, yeah yeah

okay.

...okay come on in.

As I was about to be let in,

slenderman

club-blocked me,

completely destroying the made-up story

I told the BouncerIn

Who cares?

Everybody knows

Berlin's biggest parties

happen in between U8 stops

Look at all these people in suit & tie

In East Berlin,

they have a word for them

Clowns

So for the 44th time

I tried to get into KitKatClub

with good intentions of gaining clout

But as I was approaching

the door to Nirvana,

I see my private

private security in the front queue

ready to go in

just for fun

...and s* party!

And he did not come up with the idea

of getting me inside.

*sigh*

All these security are the same.

So for the third time this weekend,

I tried to get into Kater

Wunderbar.

It will be a fancy office space soon

I actually just go into Berghain.

Berghain didn't work.

small rave in Mitte

Hey, bro

Hey, Schatzi

the Döner cost 9€

just as an example

the curry sausage cost 3-4€

value-

value-added-

value-added-tax-

value-added-tax-evasion

sensible topic folks

I actually just go into the Berghain

[Berghain bouncers] they do really see

if you have the vibe

if you are really living it

and I think the difficulty is simply

for the people

that just want to go in once

and that don't live that

in their private life

...they are just careful (for the guests)

Berghain didn't work

look at it, look at my outfit

Kater also didn't work

also didn't work?!

oh today...

I don't know man

Do I look so ugly?

Where did you get that cool hat?

On the street at Boxi,

next to that danish bakery.

Are there also other hats?

That I don't know.