We Drank the WORST Craft Beers
1533 segments
Man, it's all just grogging here. Max,
where's the 27 beers that I bought for
this video?
>> 27 beers.
I don't know. Wait a minute. [laughter]
Where's Chad?
[screaming]
I just drank 27 beers.
>> Chad, those were for the video.
>> What video?
Then we cut to the title, Cold Ones
title screen with the filmed in front of
a live studio audience. Then we just cut
back to the [music] actual start. Hey,
what's up, chat? Darcy's got us beers.
20 of them to be precise. And we're
going to drink them. Weird ass [ __ ]
craft beers. That's right. We got 20 of
the weirdest craft beers we could find
uh that you guys are going to rank on
this ladder. But to decide who has to
drink, each beer under the cloth will
have a real name and a fake name that
you need to decide. What is that beer
called? Because craft beers have
notoriously the weirdest, longest names.
>> Wow. Can we just see the name on the
fan? Not yet because you guessed before.
Oh, okay. I'll give you two cards. You
read out what the top one is and then
the other one is just the other option.
Give me that. Seven Sheds Brewery Wet
Rag Low Carb Pale. That sounds real.
What's the second one say?
>> Knee Deep Brewing Cove. Breaking Bud.
Well, one's like a like a little joke,
which I feel like they do that a lot.
>> Yeah, but who's going to call their
brewery kneede Brewing? That just sounds
like
>> Oh, yeah. Wet rag, low carb sounds way.
>> Yeah, but like seven sheds, that sounds
like a [ __ ]
>> That sounds good. The seven sheds sound
good. It's being brewed in seven
different sheds. That's all right.
>> I'm going with seven sheds.
>> Okay. Well, I'll just go with the other
one.
>> All righty. That sounds like a weird
drink. It's time to unveil the first
beer. Oh, [ __ ] off. What is that? I
[ __ ] knew it. That looks like [ __ ]
That looks like Lemon Head from [ __ ]
Adventure Time, bro. Breaking bud. Is it
got weed in it? I don't know.
>> Before you stick in, I want you guys to
be ranking these beers based on the name
and the packaging.
>> Yeah, they're [ __ ] all rank, I'll
tell you that.
>> On the beer scale. So, based purely on
the name and the packaging, how likely
are you to buy this beer? Zero. Really?
Uh, you couldn't pay me to buy this
beer.
>> Chad's kind of spitting. Is the text
supposed to be legible on the one that
he's holding in the image?
>> I'm super brain wrote. I tried to zoom
in with my two thumbs on the can.
[laughter]
A beer festival. Is that AI? Let's see
if the taste outd does the packaging.
How good does that look? Nothing like a
nice beer.
>> That actually looks really good. What
did you do? All right, bottoms up.
Cheers, fellas.
>> Yeah, for you.
>> You going to taste it at least?
>> Yeah, I'm going to taste it. I'm just
waiting for it to defroth a little bit.
[sighs]
>> It's actually not bad.
>> Oh, it's got a weird like a little bit
of a like a little bit of tickles you a
little bit.
>> That's actually a pretty decent beer.
Like I could drink like 20 of those.
Let's see what it does to my stomach.
No, I'm good. I'm good. We have 20 of
these to get through. No, I'm good. Can
I move it up a rank just based on taste?
Move it up one.
>> I think that's fair.
>> Okay. Yeah. Actually, not bad.
>> Better than [ __ ] wet rag low carb
pale ale.
>> All right, then. Are you ready for the
next beer? Ready for the next beer. All
right. It's either Lantern Ridge Brewery
Lost Receipt, Key Lime Laggera, or
Goodland Beer Blue Heaven Smoothie Sour.
These like sound like passwords.
[laughter]
I have one that I want, but I want to
see what you think. My luck in good land
beer. Blue heaven smoothie sour. I was
going to go the Lantern Ridge Brewery
Lost Receipt Key Lime Logger. All
righty.
>> Just just just to get my head across it.
Blue Smoothie beer does not sound good.
All right.
>> Can I just add real quick? I made a
typo. I made the name up as Lantern
Ridge Lost Recipe Key Lime Laga, but I
accidentally tip. [laughter]
I I thought when he was reading that I
looked over and thought that maybe it
was supposed to say that, but then I was
like, "No, Chad actually read the
receipt."
>> That sounds disgusting. It's done by the
Milk Bar.
>> What the [ __ ]
>> Is this a beer?
>> This looks delicious. If it wasn't a
beer milkshake sour with banana villa,
vanilla, coconut cream, blue haven, and
blue sasparella sill. You sound like
you're selling me a [ __ ] smoothie,
not a beer. No. No. Good beer comes from
the milk bar series. Is it a milkshake?
This isn't a beer, Darcy. They said
contains lactose. Darcy, that is sludge.
What the [ __ ] I've Did you
>> Darcy, what is this?
>> I think he might have brewed this
himself.
>> EW, IT'S THICK. WHY ARE you laughing?
Have you opened this? Not
>> yet. Shake it up.
>> It looks good, but
>> it looks really good, but it shouldn't
be a beer.
>> Yeah,
>> that smells all right. [snorts]
>> That does not smell right. What are you
smoking? Smells like stomach acid and
warheads.
>> Oh, it tastes like that. It's [laughter]
6.5 [ __ ] beer.
>> I actually would probably polish that
holding off if you told me it wasn't
[music] a beer.
>> I'm so confused. [laughter]
>> I think it's actually quite unique and
and interesting,
>> but it's not a beer. Darcy, can you try
this just for the culture? I want to
just see what your opinion on it is as a
regular bloke.
>> It Yeah, it says shake can upside down
before opening. By the way, that's too
spicy for him. Really?
>> It's kind of weird. Yeah. Yeah. All
right, it's time to lock in your rank.
What do you think? Top beer. Well, I
never thought I'd have to shake a can of
beer before drinking it. All things
considered, for me, I would say one
down. But Chad doesn't like it.
>> I'd put it down the bottom. It's not a
[ __ ] beer.
>> But Chad will put it down there. So that
means it goes in the middle.
>> But I kind of like it. I think that
shit's kind of good.
>> All right, you finish it. Put it down
one then. There. There. I do feel like
I've eaten a ton of different random
candies and it's all just
>> my teeth. My teeth. Your teeth are blue.
Like slight blue tinge.
[screaming]
>> All righty. Are you ready for the next
beer?
>> No. New Street X all brewed black forest
and cream chocolate stout. You could not
pay me to drink something called that.
Or working title, Brew Co. Scoop, maple
berry, pancake, ice cream, sour. This is
just a 50/50 guess at this point.
Working title. [laughter]
Sounds like they got their [ __ ] like
business registration form and just
didn't fill it out properly.
>> I reckon Darcy's counting on us to think
that.
>> I'm going with the new street because
working title bruo scoop. You can't
limit yourself to all ice cream flavors.
Max,
>> I'm just I'll go for the other one
again.
>> Yeah,
>> I'm going working title. Brucos scoop
maple berry pancake ice cream sour.
>> I'm going to like actually
>> enjoy this beer.
>> No, I can't drink it. Can you take this
one for me? I cannot drink another
dessert beer. A weekend breakfast treat.
>> What? Who's drinking a [ __ ] 8% beer
for breakfast? Let's give this a crack.
All right, smell test.
Oh, that smells good. M.
What the [ __ ] That just smells like raw
maple syrup.
>> That smells great. They're right. I am
going to drink this before work.
That is not a beer. Once again,
[laughter]
that ain't bad, Darcy. Is that top beer
or
>> It's so [ __ ] sticky, man. In what
capacity or situation are these
consumed?
>> It says right here for breakfast before
work. But what do you reckon? Like top
beer?
>> It's too sweet. Move it down. I'm I'm
saving that for something special. The
packaging's good. Honestly, like at this
point, no idea really what I'm looking
for. [laughter] My tummy hurts here.
>> Oh, [ __ ] All of a sudden, I can't read.
What do you mean all of a sudden?
>> All of a sudden. Okay, [ __ ] you guys. I
have stomping around stolen hood
ornament. West Coast. That ain't real.
>> Wait till you hear this one. Bright
Brewery tax deductible work trip.
[laughter]
These both have to be fake.
>> I like the tax deductible one. I think
that's real and funny. Yeah, I'm locking
in tax deductible as as the real one.
>> I'm also los locking in work trip cuz
that sounds like something an Aussie
would do. Well, let's find out.
>> Yeah, it's the work trip one.
>> Nice. Also, this can looks [ __ ]
crazy.
>> This package looks awesome. Is there a
backstory to this beer? Like, did they
actually get a work trip out of it?
>> They made the beer for like an
international beer festival. So, it was
made for a taxdeductible work trip that
they were on. Honestly, just by the
looks of it and the funny joke, Darcy,
I'm ready to give this top beer. Really?
>> Wait a minute. Can we drink it first?
>> Sure.
>> It has to at least not be disgusting.
I'll be the judge of that. You know
what?
To the tax man. Finally tax deductible
to tax evasion.
>> Stage like foam to me. You can really
tell this table is on a slope, huh?
>> It's the J.
>> Why is it all running that way like a
river? Max, you hardly touch your t
touched your tax deduction.
>> That's a good tax deduction. Thanks,
Darcy.
>> You should have to finish that for
making a mess, right? Finish it. Go on,
Sculllet.
>> Oh, wait. You have to finish that.
>> Why?
>> Oh, cuz you're sitting with your
knuckles touching your other hand. Darcy
made that rule.
>> No, they're not touching my other hand.
>> Oh, no. Sorry. They have to be touching
it.
>> No, mine are touching.
>> Okay. Well, your feet are on the ground,
so
>> So, is that a top beer? That is a top
beer.
>> That's a [ __ ] [ __ ] beer, man. Give me
that pancake mix back.
>> All right, next beer. Thank god I don't
have to drink it all. Are you guys ready
for the next beer? I hope it's like the
Grinch shake. [laughter]
This has to be the fake one. This [ __ ]
looks like Okay, you go. Thirstfuls
rainbow sour strap sour ale. Okay.
>> Is that just like a Fastables knockoff?
Like thirstables. Urbanort bubblegum
hazy IPA. I want to if it's bubblegum,
I'm going to
>> be happy.
>> Thirstables. Like Fastables. [ __ ] I
actually think this is a red herring. I
think the one that he found that he was
like, "They won't believe that there's
one called Thirstables cuz they'll think
that's not a thing." So, I'll make the
one that I fake that goes with it sound
really boring. So, it has to be They
think that that's real. All right. I
lock in Thirstables Rainbow Sour Trap
Sour.
>> Yeah, I'm locking that in also. [ __ ]
You're a sucker. E, you got in my head,
Max. That was crazy. That story line you
just made up and just So, the Mr.
Beastables ain't real. I made that [ __ ]
up. I [ __ ] knew you did, but there's
clearly no way that you Shut up, Darcy.
>> Oh, we have to drink this now. Like, we
came here to chew bubble gum [music] and
drink beer. So, we [laughter]
>> So, we combine both of them into a
juicy, fruity, hazy IPA. I want a
[ __ ] beer. At least the artwork looks
good.
>> Art is insane.
>> Why can't we get mad labels on our [ __ ]
like this with holographics and crap?
All right, if this is pink, I'm going to
>> be happy. [music]
Darcy really was like thirstables. This
is [music] a bit too on the nose. Darcy
sh like shut up. [laughter]
>> What has he done here?
>> He put pink food coloring in it so it's
pink when you pour it.
>> Oh, that's not going to work. That's
red, man. That That [laughter] is just
edit it, man. It's fine.
>> There's a bucket.
>> It tastes a little bubble gummy.
That is repulsive.
>> Got to be there. The packaging is
insane.
>> I would say that's cooler than the other
one at the top. Yeah, but the taste
isn't as good.
>> You're the beer guy. If you think that
sucks.
>> Yeah, it's horrible.
>> All right, last one to finish their
beer. Likes beer.
>> It's time to drink a beer.
>> [ __ ]
I loving beer. It's just I can't explain
it. It's so bad.
[ __ ] sake. Oh,
>> my milkshake ring. All the boys they
have they're like it's better than your
women have with me. That's crazy.
[laughter]
Can I have a lay down now for like 10
minutes?
>> Yeah. Thanks team.
It needs to be rubbed in now, Max. Come
on. Oh, that's soing good. Stop like
moaning and [ __ ] man. I've got Great
Ocean Road Brewery salted caramel Sunday
stout. Cool, man. Great. Vault City X
One Drop Poltergeist Spice Latte Cream
Sour Ale. How about you just pick which
one of those you wouldn't want in your
stomach?
>> That's what I'm thinking. Great Ocean
Road is a place.
>> That's good enough for me, mate.
>> There wouldn't be a brewery on the Great
Ocean Road. There's no [ __ ] farms
there.
>> Where's Vault City? Is that in like
Sonic or something?
>> Can I phone a friend? You can phone a
friend. Sure. I'm calling Russ Eats.
>> Yes, that's a good one.
>> What's going on? Sorry, I'm on a run.
Might be a bit [ __ ]
>> That's all right. Enjoy your run.
[laughter] I just got a question. They
tell me which of these two sound real.
Great Ocean Road Brewery Salted Caramel
Sunday Stout.
>> That's good. It means you can't Google
it.
>> Vault City X [music] one drop
poltergeist spice latte cream sour ale.
>> The second one sounds like something at
a [ __ ] weird craft brewery. And the
first one just sounds like every other
brewery.
>> Okay, you might be able to. Thank you,
Ross. I love you. Enjoy.
>> He just said they're both equally sound.
Enjoy your run. All right, I'm locking
in Vault City One Drop Poltergey Spice
Latte Cream Sour Ale. I'm locking that
in, too.
>> All right, let it see.
>> Yes.
>> Thank Jesus Christ. Thank you, Russ
Energy.
>> Holy [ __ ] This [ __ ] looks horrifying.
>> That looks scary as hell.
>> This should be on a shirt or something.
>> Look at the alcohol percentage. 6.66.
>> That's not the meme.
>> Ah, 67. [laughter]
Oh my god. It's as orange as like a
pumpkin. Just have a little taste, Chad.
Shake it off.
>> Okay, that one looks like it needs a
little shaking, man.
>> It is sludge thick.
>> I don't really like pumpkin spice type
anything. That can't be good for you,
man. I have a mouthful.
>> Chad's doing his [ __ ] Robert Dairo
impression
>> right down the bottom. Take a mouthful.
>> What the [ __ ] The bubbles get bigger.
>> Why didn't mine bubble up?
>> Cuz you didn't shake it.
>> Take a mouthful. Like really get into
it.
>> Oh my god, that's so sweet. If there was
no alcohol in it, I would probably think
it was good as a dessert milkshake
thing. Like a small little drink.
>> I like that one at the bottom.
>> I don't think so. I'll move it one up
cuz I don't even like pumpkin but I
think that tastes all right taste testy.
Have a sip. It's only 66 [music]
67%. It's just [ __ ] nasty.
>> Just not good, is it?
>> No, it's not good.
>> That's fantastic. Love that.
>> Go on then. Finish it. Go on. Finish it
if it's so good.
>> No, I have 15 beers to go. Next.
>> Next.
>> Hawk Tour. Rocky Ridge Duck and Morty's
excellent adventure IPA. I reckon IPA
kind of bloss love Rick and Morty. I
reckon that I would lock that in.
>> What have you got?
>> Hawk tour on a mission from God dry hop
to IPA. I'm locking in Rick and Doc and
Mory.
>> Yeah, Rick and Duck and Molly.
>> Lock that in. And I better see.
>> That is suck so badly.
>> What the [ __ ]
>> They're in a Delorean.
>> But like that's straight up the actual
font of both things of Rick and Morty.
In fact, Back to the Future
>> Duck and Morty's excellent adventure.
>> It also is Rocket League font. Oh my
god, it is too.
>> Is it? You can just do anything, huh?
>> Should we just do a small run of
Markiplier heads?
>> Yeah. Can we just make Markiplier like
foamy creamy Markiplier milk IPA?
>> All right. What do you think of the
packaging, Max? And the name. It's just
[ __ ] man. Put it at the bottom. They
could have like even done like a funny
spin on like a Pickle Rick and made a
Pickle Rick beer.
>> Chad, shut the [ __ ] up. [laughter]
>> I'm giving that idea to anyone. There's
probably a 100 Pickle Rick beers. Look,
Morty, I use Rocket League font. Morty,
you got to check out Twitter DMs. Morty.
>> You drink that and then you can do the
impression again.
>> All right. I feel like I can start
smashing beers again now. My stomach
settles.
>> All right, Morty. Wa. That's good.
That's actuallying delicious.
>> It's a shame it [ __ ] gets put at the
bottom, huh?
>> No, I move it up one, Morty.
>> If it gets saved by the taste and it
goes,
>> that was a good IPA. All right, next.
Darcy and Max. I wish we could just
travel the world for real and like drink
a beer at the pub instead of in the
studios, YOU KNOW.
>> GOOD [screaming] NEWS, CHAD. THANKS TO
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You can even use it
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Why the [ __ ] am I in this car?
>> Thank you, Revolute, for sponsoring this
episode. Back to the video.
>> Hi, Darcy.
>> Hi, Darcy. Will you rub lotion on my
belly later?
>> Hell no.
>> You got to get under the fold. This
one's the real red herring. I said
before, but this one's real this time.
>> Actually, let's just swap. I can't read
that one.
>> Okay,
>> Chad, it's Chinese. No, it's English.
I've got Moon Dog Vanilla Slice Hazy
IPA.
>> That sounds so
>> That sounds very [ __ ] real. I got
guilo raspberry waffle sour. But the
fact that he said it's Chinese makes me
think that it actually is a Chinese IPA
under here. Chinese people don't even
like waffles. [laughter]
That's facts, man. This is too obvious,
though. I'm going Chinese raspberries,
man. [ __ ] it. I'm going. [clears throat]
Actually, I've never seen a Moond Dog
vanilla slice. Give me that Chinese
[ __ ] I'm going with guo.
>> Thank god. Holy [ __ ] Dad, do you know
what guo in Cantonese means?
>> Waffle
>> pancake.
>> It's actually slang for white people. It
means [music] ghost man or white ghost.
>> Let's call me fat. [laughter]
>> They probably said fat guo.
>> Uh, I'm actually kind of keen to give
this one a try.
>> No, it does. It even says it on here.
>> So, what happens if we uh make a beer
and it's
>> Can we call
>> Chad? Shut the [ __ ] up.
>> Okay, I'm just checking. Guys, this hell
of beers left. Darcy, are you a [ __ ]
counselor? Like, chill.
>> Don't drop your guo. Well, I was about
to ask you if I should shake it up or
not, but I think my answer is it.
>> All right.
>> Oh, that is looking fine.
>> Don't shake it. [laughter]
>> That looks like a pancake. Look at that.
Oh, look at that. That's beautiful, man.
Isn't nature incredible? [laughter]
>> This one honestly is at the bottom for
laziness, by the way, cuz it's just a
stock image of waffles. Oh my god,
that's that's the most sour yet.
>> Is it bad?
>> No. I feel like the Chinese always make
great stuff.
>> [laughter]
>> It's actually better than like it tastes
better than like I'll drink one of these
over drinking one of those other ones.
>> This one? You can have a second one of
these.
>> What do you reckon? Top beer. No.
>> [ __ ] No.
>> The packaging sucks. Put it down.
>> [ __ ] dare. No. Up.
>> Yeah. Next to [ __ ] Doc and Morty.
That doesn't make sense, does it? Doc
and Morty should maybe be thrown out.
>> Well, there's another run.
>> No, cuz Chad loves it.
>> Yeah. Move the Doc and Morty up one.
>> No. What?
>> No. Put it back down. I just don't think
the blue one should be up there. It put
me into a [ __ ] coma.
>> Fine. Put blue one down. One.
>> Now this shelf is [ __ ] filling up.
>> Should have got a wider ladder then.
Ain't our problem, is it?
>> Yeah. Listen, like it tastes all right,
but like it's kind of just like
>> I had enough of this. Just give me this
next. I'm going to go to sleep now.
>> Hi, Darcy. All right. I've got Corn
Forge Brewery. Morning brown. Morning
brown. Morning brown. Espresso filtered
stout. I got Bone Head Brewing Fruit
Salad Oat Cream. I'm going with that
one. [ __ ] it. I'm going for that one.
Bonehead. I'm going for the same. Oh my
god.
>> No, we got it.
>> Oh, we did. [ __ ] Thank god. [laughter]
Thank god. I did not want a morning
brown.
>> This [ __ ] looks likeing [music]
Plants Versus Zombies.
>> Is it going to be OT? I'm
>> not sure. I'm not sure where they get
that from.
>> Only one way to find out.
>> Some with the red and the It looks like
Sesame Street, but I'm assuming it's not
for kids. No. Or yes.
>> No. No. No.
>> Just for the record, we had to remove
our eyes from our fruit characters on
our drinks. But this bloke,
but like clearly ain't no one buying
this, man. I mean, there was also
[ __ ] Rick and Morty on a beer.
>> Doc and Morty, idiot.
>> All right, let's give this a [ __ ]
crack. Thank god we got that one, right?
That looks like a good beer. That smells
really bad. Like copper piping bad.
>> I mean, let's see.
Not bad.
>> It's definitely a beer at least.
>> What do you think about the packaging
though?
>> A bit clip arty almost.
>> Do I put it at the bottom?
>> I think if we got to move one down,
>> it'd be the blue one. No.
>> All right, what are we moving down? Rick
and Morty.
>> Was the Rick and Morty a better beer or
was this a better beer?
>> This was a better beer. If this was a
better beer, move Rick and Morty down.
Rick Doc and Morty is objectively the
most [ __ ] eyesore of a can. Doc and
Morty goes down.
>> Yeah, Doc and Morty goes down. There's
room for all of them. Doc and Morty goes
down.
>> Doc and Morty down.
>> Honestly, I reckon we put the clip art
[ __ ] fruit salad down there with it.
>> Okay, sure. Thank god we're getting
these right. I don't know if I can
handle another beer. All right, here you
go. [laughter]
Wild boar brewing. Wild boar pistachio
cream sour. That sounds not real. The
thing with that I feel if if Darcy made
that one up, he would have had the
actual spelling of bore rather than
boring like B O A R. Unless it's like
the receipt thing. Belching Beaver
[laughter]
Brewery. Peanut butter milk stout.
>> I'm going with Wild Bore Brewing.
>> Okay.
>> Pistachio cream.
>> I'm on Belching Beaver. So, one of us
about to drink some beer.
[laughter]
>> Why did you misspell bore?
>> I don't know, bro. I think I might have
an issue. You're wild and you're bored.
It's like a wild board.
>> Shut up. It's like a play on words that
I invented.
>> It's a [ __ ] play on words I made up.
Man,
>> this artwork sucks. Sorry, but this
beaver sucks, man.
>> I have to DRINK THIS.
>> HOLY, MAN. That [ __ ] black car. That
looks actually sticky and [ __ ]
>> That looks like a nice Coke. [music]
>> Coke is lighter than that.
>> Should we do a comparison?
>> God damn, Chad. That's going to upset
your stomach.
>> Thanks, mate. You know what you're going
to have to do later when my stomach's
hurting, right?
>> Rub the crease.
>> Yeah. Make sure you get in the fold.
>> Get the fold.
>> Oh, yeah. Coke is like brown.
>> I think the Coke is lighter. Yeah, the
Coke's like brown. That's black. Wait,
that's pretty close. No way. All right,
bottoms up.
It actually is easy to drink. They
weren't lying. Do they get points for
that? That is actually nice.
>> What? That's good. Yeah. Yeah. It's all
right. It actually tastes like super
good. Like it's the best tasting one
I've had today.
>> Really? I think you might just be
getting more drunk.
>> Yeah. Do you want to try it?
>> Sure. It's actually going to put that
much credit into it. Like that's your
your take is that then I'm happy to
leave it where it is.
>> Yeah, that is horrific. [laughter]
>> That [ __ ] tastes like burnt toast.
>> I don't mind it. Says nut-free since
2012. Wo Grog is out in Arizona.
Albertson/BMO.
>> Dad, read the thing, man.
>> Mari Bridge Road.
>> No, read the thing. What's written
there, man?
>> Sour Pavlova Christmas.
>> What the brother?
>> I was reading it backwards. Bridge
passion fruit Christmas. Sour Pavlova.
Oo road. That actually sounds like a
Roblox drink. Rodrigy Brewing Company.
Yeet. Pineapple lump sour. Basically
comes down to two two words. Oof and
yeet. We're closing in on Christmas.
Christmas pavlova sour. That sounds like
it. You know, I'm going with the bridge
road. Oof. Passion fruit Christmas
pavlover sour.
>> I'll go for brrigy. Yeet.
>> Can I swap my answer? Do you want to
switch?
>> The last minute switch.
>> Yeah. So, I'm going with yeet.
>> All right. We just did a switch. Just a
random switch at the end.
>> All right. I'm going with yeet.
Oh, it's [ __ ] oed. [laughter]
>> That [ __ ] sucks, man. That's garbage.
>> What does the o stand for?
>> Nothing. It's
>> What do you mean? It's like O. Okay. Why
does it look like piss?
>> Cuz it's pavlova.
>> Can you [ __ ] pour a beer without
getting half of it on the table?
>> Pretty clean if you ask me.
>> That stinks. It smells like fart. It
smells like passion fruit. Oh, you just
[ __ ] your pants.
>> I farted. Okay. All right. Well, um,
that's cheating. I didn't mean to make
it taste good.
Ooh. Oh, you meant to say oofed. I mean
O.
>> All right, let's see if it has the oof
effect.
>> O.
>> It's It's definitely like um
>> Oh, that's sour.
>> Yeah, the sour the sour part of the
passion fruit is
>> You know what it's like? If you've ever
eaten an unripe passion fruit,
>> that's worse than a [ __ ] Warhead.
>> Dude, that is sour, man.
>> You love sour, don't you?
>> Can wise pretty boring.
>> Holy [ __ ] does stand for
>> that is sour, man. I bottom that one.
Just bottom that.
>> Yeah.
>> You guys want to keep doing all 21
beers?
>> What's 9 + 10?
>> 21.
>> YOU'RE A [ __ ] GENIUS.
>> CHAD, finish the beer. Man,
>> I told you I don't need this negative
environment, man. Chad,
>> you're a legend. If you finish that
beer.
>> Okay. If I finish his beer, will you get
under the fold?
>> Yes, he will. He said yes. He said Darcy
will do it. Darcy said he would do it.
>> All four of his fingers under the fold.
Can I hold you, Scarlet?
>> No.
>> All right. Next bloody [ __ ] beer. I
got Har Greaves Hill Spice Pumpkin Ale.
I got Wilson's Grove Butter Cream Ale.
That's got to be disgusting.
>> I kind of am interested.
>> I'm intrigued by it. And we already had
a spiced pumpkin one. I really don't
think he would pick two for the whole
video.
>> All right, I'll pick the buttered cream
one.
>> I reckon it's got to be that. There's no
way he'd want us to do two pumpkin
[music] ones. This this easy math.
[laughter]
>> That's actually foul play. That's foul
play, Darcy.
>> Darcy is pulling something.
>> You guys can be read like a book.
>> This looks like the same stock art guy
that did the [ __ ] Milo one.
>> It just looks like stock art blended
together.
>> But it looks like same kind of an image.
>> If this is orange, I'm going to flip.
>> Best when fresh. Check the canning date,
please.
>> It's amber. You're lucky.
>> Thank you. Cuz we both need to drink
this [ __ ] [ __ ]
>> I feel like I should be in a
correctional center. I felt that for you
for a while.
>> Thanks for being concerned about me. I
love you.
>> I love you, too. Darcy says he's going
to put cream in your fold after you
finish this.
>> I reckon we fold Jess's legs the other
way. [laughter]
>> What the [ __ ] is wrong?
>> Now that'll put bears on your chest,
mate. Love a beer.
>> Yeah. Hey, cheers to that, mate. Cheers
to having a beer. A pumpkin beer with
the boys.
>> These I mean, a pumpkin spice latte beer
with the boys.
>> That is [ __ ] foul.
>> I think if you you got this at the pub,
you'd have your legs folded the other
way. How low does a ladder go?
>> Oh [laughter] god.
>> Yeah. Yeah. That is good.
>> Oh my tummy. Can I have a fold break
after this? Fold break. We're up to 12
beers. We only have [ __ ] eight left.
>> You think his legs fall backwards?
>> Thinking back, it's a lot of beers. Shut
up. You're not my [ __ ] doctor. I'll
tell you when I've had enough.
>> Yeah. Let's see your legs bend
backwards. Bend your legs, [ __ ] Fold
her up and shove it down a [ __ ] p
like white bath.
Drink your [snorts] beer. I got to shove
it on a peep flipper. I don't [ __ ]
bend on my back on me.
>> Max, I need help. Rub it. Oh, please
God, rub it, Max. Please rub the [ __ ]
out of my belly.
>> Why did you have to say it so horny like
that, Chad?
>> My belly.
>> Come on, man. Hone it in, man. Chad,
you're trying to get the shots of me
drinking the beer. You can't use it if
you're saying that.
>> Just rub my belly.
>> Shut up, Chad. Get off me. I'm not
letting this [ __ ] beat me.
>> Whose idea WAS 20 BEERS? [ __ ] MAN.
>> S, could you get the moisturizer?
>> Moist critical.
>> Oh no.
>> Max, please. Oh, I need someone to rub
my belly after that.
>> Chad, please. He's getting his prong
out, man. His prong. Mr. Krabs. I don't
feel so good. No, I'm good. I need a
piss. I'm not throwing up. [music]
What the [ __ ] was that? Is there a
CREATURE IN THERE?
>> [laughter]
>> JUST
[laughter] how is that not a BIT
>> I like the pick of Max above it like
>> get in there JESS
[laughter]
>> that [ __ ] got to taste like PANCAKES
[laughter]
>> ch's going to have a quick shower
>> oh it's all over the floor Dude,
>> Darcy, breathe through your mouth.
>> All right. What's the most critical
doing?
>> That is [ __ ] [laughter]
>> That's good.
>> I feel [ __ ] all right, eh? All right.
I have double vision brewing. All I
imperial, hokeyp pokey chocolate stout.
>> I get double vision. Lazy dog brew co.
Feel the buzz. Honeycomb infused brown
ale.
>> Blackout brewery and chill weed vibes
brewery. [laughter]
>> Yeah,
>> this seems like an Aback complaint.
What? Double vision implying they get
drunk. So that ain't real. It's Lazy Dog
Brew Co.
>> And also, it's a little bit clever
because it's like feel the buzz like
it's a bee and then it's also honeycomb
infused. That one's real.
>> That is the real. All right. Lazy dog
brewing co. Feel the buzz. Honeycomb
infused brand ale. I am going to
actually
>> [ __ ] double vision. All in hoke
pokey. There's a [ __ ] octopus poker.
>> This one's 10%.
>> Cool. Great little tidbit there, Darcy.
Fantastic.
>> Do we want to remind the viewers where I
just was like 5 minutes ago? YES,
>> you're built for a fresh start, man. I
>> feel like half these feel like they're
written by AI. We give the recipe
boundaries a bit of a nudge. Sure,
[music] it might not please the purity
police, but actually, we're good with
that. That's kind of epic. Octopus.
[ __ ] octopus. Yeah, the octopus. Man,
why you got that [ __ ] double cup like
you're a rapper? Let me just get the
second Let me get Let me It's in the
wrong cup. I got to get the other cup
off. Come on, man. How hasn't he spilt a
drop yet?
>> That's how you know it's thick as [ __ ]
[ __ ] octopus ale.
>> We have to drink this. All of it.
>> Yeah. And we do the hokeie pokey and we
turn ourselves around. That's what it's
all about.
>> All right, time to drink up. See you at
the bottom, brother.
>> Do the hokeie pokey and my turn myself
in.
>> That actually ate horrible. It's sticky.
It says sticky icky.
Good for you.
IF [ __ ] wasn't filled with
He's where I was now. He's hit me. It's
it's it's it's
a if I had a belt on, I would be
unbuckling it. What do you guys reckon
about the [ __ ] beer?
[groaning]
[laughter]
>> All right. Dude, you like the beer?
>> Yeah. Okay. Yeah, I'm happy with that.
[ __ ]
I have Blackman's.
>> Is that right,
>> Chad? Blackman.
>> Blackman's berry barrel mix. Berry sour
beer.
>> Rud Andy's tropical thunder peanut
colada sour ale.
>> That is fake.
>> We got a black man and then we got a
white man who played a black man.
>> It was a white man pretending to be a
black man.
>> It's kind of racist if Darcy came up
with black man after he saw Tropic
Thunder pin colada there.
>> But Darcy doesn't watch movies.
>> That's actually facts. Okay, it's that
one. No, it's this one. Trust me, it's
this one. I'm locking in. Rude Andy's
tropical thunder [music] panina colada
sour ale.
>> All right, we got we we're both going
for Rude Andes is real.
>> How many times have we listed lifted
this and [music] just been wrong?
Bro saw Blackman and was like, Chad's a
sucker. [laughter] Chad's going to be a
sucker for this one.
>> I gave the option to change. You ripped
it off.
>> This is more clip arty than the [ __ ]
other one. Raspberry man on a [ __ ]
surfboard. Why is it called black man's
if he's a raspberry?
>> Chad, it's not a black man. It's just
blackman. What?
I've [ __ ] played these games before.
I was double thinking and then you
ripped it off.
>> You were double thinking. [laughter] You
should [ __ ] try single thinking
first, Jad.
>> All right, let's give it a crack. Can't
be that bad, can it?
>> Why the [ __ ] is there not an actual
Tropic Thunder [ __ ] Robert [music]
Downey Jr. drink?
>> Do you want me to explain why?
>> Sure. Oh, Darcy.
>> Darcy.
>> Yes, sir.
>> Check that out.
>> Nice.
>> Clean with a Should I mean, should we
Have we tasted this yet?
This tastes [music] like a sour drink. I
feel like we've had it two times before
in this video already.
>> They're too sour. Not good.
>> Uh, let me look at the artwork again.
>> The fruit got eyes on it.
>> The artwork sucks. Don't The artwork is
clip art [ __ ]
>> Down the bottom. As low as we can go.
How did we get so many things down
there? I swear the last time I looked at
the list that that spot was empty.
>> We have six more to go.
>> Seven.
>> You guys lied to me.
>> How many they tell you?
>> Six. Well, six after this one. Six.
Yeah.
>> Six. Seven. Next beer. Is it yeet? Why
is there another yeet?
>> Mine says Third Door Down Brewery. The
beer double IPA. Wolf of the Willows
Brewing Co. Yeet. Hazy IPA.
>> Stop. Stop eating.
>> Oh, [laughter] sorry. out of the yeet
one and the oed one. What was it again?
It was the o of
>> Yeah, the oed. So, you reckon the
yeets's up? I'm not locking in ye. That
seems way too crazy. I'm going to be
real.
>> I'm locking it in then.
>> All right. I'm going to lock in third
door down.
>> It's a It's a He's trying to [ __ ] with
our heads because he did. He had that as
>> Yeah, that's what he wants us to think.
>> Well, I'm going to lock that in.
[laughter]
>> Ye.
>> Oh my [laughter] god. Sorry. If I have
to drink six more of these, I'm back in
that bathroom.
>> Just keep guessing the names right, man.
>> That's a beer. It's a fruity beer.
It's a bottom beer.
>> Bottom beer.
>> Bottom beer, man. Next.
>> That was horrible,
>> guys. There's only a few more beers
left. And the beer extravaganza.
>> There's not a few. A few is three.
>> There's six left. Well, you've been
saying that. What the [ __ ]
>> Read it. I have Vault City, blueberry,
banana, chocolate chip, double shake,
modern sour beer.
>> Why don't we go back to Vault City? We
already had a Vault City. But that means
we This one's fake as [ __ ]
>> Why hind [snorts] stuff on a brat worst
in leader holesen cult PSNA?
>> This is fake as [ __ ]
>> No, cuz it' be a
>> sausage and trousers beer.
>> No, cuz it' be it'd be a hot dog wearing
pants at clip art.
>> That is [ __ ] I'm going with the
vault city.
>> It'll be a hot dog with pants on.
>> So you're locking in Leos and sausage.
>> I think that's fake. I go with that one.
>> Wo. One. You could only get one. What is
this? Thank god it is a blueberry chuck
banana.
>> What's this?
>> It's just a fake beer for the thing cuz
there's only one.
>> We got the one made [ __ ] nice. Don't
open that. There's only one. Five beers.
Where do you rate this beer, guys?
>> We're about to find out.
>> WE HAVE [ __ ] ONE OF THEM, DARCY.
THERE'S [ __ ] ONE. COOL. GREAT, CHAD.
Value's gone on that. Why did we even
open this?
>> Oh, that smells good, though. I'm going
be real.
>> Can I get the story behind why we have
one? Popular or garbage and they made
none.
>> Popular. flying off the shelf.
>> Very delicious.
Didn't
>> That is actually delicious.
>> Didn't we get it right?
>> That is the best one I've tasted all
day.
>> Top of the shelf.
>> No, he's drunk as [ __ ]
>> No, that shit's gone.
>> It's 8.2%.
>> No, no, no. I knock it down.
>> What? Put it there. No, it's eight.
Finish it then. All right, Jessie, bring
it back. If I finish it, can we move it
up? All right. [laughter]
>> Dear Lord, please give me the strength
to stomach this beer. Please give me the
strength to finish this half a [ __ ]
drink.
>> Grant me immortality for the next 24
hours. So I
>> 20 seconds is all you need.
>> I'll settle for 30. Our power Lord and
Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.
>> Amen.
>> Now that's a good beer.
>> Move it up. It's good. It's actually a
good beer.
>> All right, next beer.
>> Against the grain. B and Luke smoked
sweet potato pie stout. I've never heard
of a sweet potato pie. Rusted Crown Brew
Midnight Timber Ritual Dark Heritage
Stout. You just be trying to reach the
[ __ ] word count, Darcy.
>> All right, pick one and we won't tell
each other. Okay, God is telling me this
one. Lock in. All right, you've got
rusted crown. I've got against the
grain.
Bow and Luke, I hope you're [ __ ]
thirsty, man. Bro said they would make a
rusted crown drink. I'VE NEVER HEARD OF
A SWEET POTATO PIE. HAVE YOU HEARD OF a
midnight timber ritual? Dark Heritage.
>> No, I can't do it. Die.
>> Oh boy, that shit's thick as [ __ ] man.
IS IT THAT
>> OH, CHAT. THAT'S I think it's the
percentage that that that is bordering
on not a beer. That's coming to like a
That's That's like a
>> No, that's like a to
you guys rub under the fold later.
>> [ __ ] no. Your fold rubbing privileges
are over. Oh my god, that shit's bad. So
bad.
>> You are not helping.
>> You are not helping. You're really not
helping.
>> This [ __ ] that looks like soy sauce was
filled to the brim. All right, this one
goes out to bone and Luke. Oh, that's
thick.
>> Dy, I'm going to be real. That is
unfinishable. Oh, it's so salty. I need
a second opinion. Cruy, come here. I'll
allow it. Take a sip of that.
>> A big mouthful.
Oh, it is salty. [laughter]
>> Darcy, you have a sip of this and tell
me you can drink a cup of it. I'll give
you everything in the safe. You finish
that can cuz I know it's impossible.
What? Hey, that's easy. That is [ __ ]
potent. That [clears throat] is [ __ ]
>> Oh god. That one has got to be watered
down.
>> Who is buying that and drinking it?
>> I actually don't think I can do it.
>> Chad, finish it, man.
>> I don't think I can.
>> You are the man. If I had to bet my life
on any man finishing this drink, it's
[ __ ] you, man. We rub under fold fold
fold fold. One minute glove on. Rub
under the fold. Which fold are we
talking
man?
>> Oh, [groaning]
that's some good [ __ ] man.
>> Oh, WHO
[screaming] BROTHER?
>> Can you put it down the bottom? No, put
it under the bottom. That is bottom G.
>> Where do you want it, man?
>> Under the fi.
Oh,
>> did I say stop? This feels beyond
inappropriate, man.
>> I'm so drunk. You have no idea how drunk
I am.
>> Read it, Chad.
>> Pirate life. A lemon for the scurvy yuzu
citrus laga. Hawkers, please don't tap
on the glass. It frightens the brewers.
Imperial oak cream IPA. Do you want to
just put up one each one we have?
>> Yeah, [ __ ] it. Why not?
I got a [ __ ]
>> I'm actually going to [ __ ]
>> You can't say that in YouTube, Chad. Say
All right, let me rephrase that. That
sucks. That's really bad. And I will not
do anything drastic to put my life at
jeopardy. How do you keep beating me?
This skill issue. It looks nice. It
looks like an 80s style. This looks like
someone's carpet. It is three standard
drinks. Does that make it 8%. 8.5%.
Nice. That's a real good beer to end on.
Darcy, this is not the last beer. You
said it was the last one. No, there's
like three more beers. [laughter]
Great beer, man.
I ain't cleaning that. Move the bucket,
Max. Max, move the bucket. Move the
bucket quick. Quick, Max, move the
bucket.
>> Nice.
>> Just for the viewers at home,
>> that was clean, man.
>> That is technically two shots of vodka.
That was [ __ ] clean, dude. Perfect
type [ __ ]
Listen, dude. Perfect type [ __ ] huh?
[laughter]
Thanks, [ __ ]
>> I don't have to drink it.
>> Great. Thanks.
>> I'll taste it. Fine. I'll taste it.
>> No, Darcy.
[laughter]
>> He is coming in here. Should he have to
do the whole thing?
>> Yeah, I think you should finish it, Max.
>> Oh, sure.
>> Here you go.
[laughter]
>> That counts. That counts. That's good.
Oh, that looks like the bottom of a of
the urinal at pub. [laughter]
That's [ __ ] nasty, man.
>> Should I drink the beer? This is two
shots of vodka.
>> Chad, remember, you'll be rich if you
shut up. [laughter] All right, got to
finish this beer.
>> Come on. You can't vomit twice in one
day, man. [snorts]
>> Just drink the [ __ ] damn beer, man.
>> Fine. I'll drink the beer and move on,
>> Chad. Great with three more coming up.
Three more.
>> I If I have one more If I get one of
these three wrong, I'm going to end up
my Chad. Chad, just stop, bro.
>> All right. I have the one drop blind dog
[music] playing fetch Irish red ale. I
got Anchorage allseeing barrel aged
fruited sour. I'm locking in what I got
given. Um, I'm locking in what Chad's
got given. One drop blind dog playing
fetch red pale. That is a dog. No, it's
the allseeing eye. I'm going to [ __ ]
>> enjoy this beer.
>> Oh, that's hard as [ __ ] You like it?
>> Yeah. It looks like a Nuto's final form.
That's not a [ __ ] barrel. That's
pretty cool art. I like the art.
>> What do you say? Top text.
>> Yeah. [ __ ] it.
>> No. I thought you were going to smash it
on the edge of the table.
>> I was What if I teach you a cool trick?
Hold it like that and then smack that
with your hand like
>> Yeah, it's easy work.
>> I'll show you. No,
>> I can do it. I can do it.
>> I already almost got it.
>> No, I can do it. I can do it.
Chad, it's Chad. Oh my god. At least Jam
roll it out, man. [laughter] Chad, it
got all over the big grog box that's
available in Albertson's and Bemo in
Arizona.
>> We both got to drink this [ __ ]
>> cups. Thanks, man.
>> Hey, just for the record for people
watching, 21 craft beers is 40 standard
drinks.
>> But we haven't have to drink them all.
>> Maybe you I have.
>> What is this? This is wine. Post this
[ __ ] on the wine Reddit, man. You did
this to us, Darcy.
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
You did that?
>> Yeah. I'm done. What was the percentage?
>> Six.
>> This one's 7%.
>> Seven.
[laughter]
>> Six.
>> Good [ __ ] That's good [ __ ] man. That's
a [ __ ] good effort, man.
>> Darcying
bing bing bong bing bong.
>> That was horrible. I'm going to put that
with bottom text.
>> Bottom text. I like the art actually.
>> Up one. Up one.
>> Yeah.
>> At this point, Darcy, I don't know what
we're looking at.
>> That's good, man. That's [ __ ] good.
>> What do you got? [snorts]
The Future Brewing Edge Edging Company
AF. Imperial Breakfast Stout.
>> Breakfast.
>> I ate the dead horse for breakfast.
>> I have Bent Spoke Brewery Sunnyside Art
Barrel Age Coffee Stout. [laughter]
>> So, we have two breakfastes.
>> I have a go for that one.
Is he falling asleep?
>> Wake up. There's two beers left.
Can we cheat for once on this show?
I just want to cheat. That's [ __ ]
illegal conduct. You have to [laughter]
finish You now you have to finish a
bear. God [ __ ] just damn, bro. You
get to put your guess in, Chad.
>> That's just smells like a coffee. What
did you pick?
>> I didn't get to. I'm going be honest.
>> But that's just like a That's just a
coffee.
>> This says coffee stout on it. Is that
you trying to trick me?
>> No, I don't actually know which one it
is. Darcy just said I had to drink it
cuz I picked the [ __ ] thing out. Is
he trying to fool me?
>> I have to drink it anyway.
>> I'm picking the opposite then. Okay, go
for it. Take it.
>> Oh my god. I want to
>> enjoy this beer.
>> No, you win.
>> Oh, did I?
>> No, you didn't. You voted the You put
the [ __ ]
>> Just wait a minute, Darcy. Shut up. I
vote on this one.
>> You said you're going the opposite to
Max, which is the [ __ ]
>> No, I went that one. I went the one he
had.
>> Run the clip back.
>> This says coffee stout on it. Is he
trying to fool me?
>> I have to drink it anyway.
>> I'm picking the opposite then.
>> You said I'm going the opposite of you.
>> I went the opposite of the coffee one.
>> You know what? You're grasping that
straw.
>> Let's just call this a
>> All right, let the Reddit decide.
>> This is a This is a wash. Let's move on.
>> I finished [laughter] your drink. You
cheated. You actually cheated. I'll have
a sip. All right,
>> but I did go for that stout [music] one.
That's not what the [ __ ] footage
shows, man.
>> I said the opposite of the coffee one.
Wait, Reddit. If I'm correct, I want to
see some.
>> No, that's not fair, bro. Chad, do you
realize someone put on the Reddit that I
died and someone that I know like saw
it?
>> Yeah, my mom saw the Reddit post of me
dying as well. And my mom called me and
was like, I was afraid you died.
>> When? Huh? When did I [ __ ] ask? Drink
the beer, bro. [laughter]
>> Good reflexes.
>> Do you reckon you could deflect it as
good?
>> Yeah. Go on.
>> Nah, just drink.
No, we got to put it ON THE [ __ ]
>> THROW IT, [ __ ]
>> OKAY. WHY ARE YOU UNDER?
>> You can just taste the beer, man.
>> We're going to drink that beer together.
>> No, you're on your own, mate. Tastes
like Bailey's, honestly.
>> Where do you want it?
>> Max can decide.
>> I haven't drank it yet. Darcy, hurry up,
man.
>> No, it tastes pretty good.
>> Up on up.
No, up on more. [ __ ] it. Yeah, I can go
there.
>> Stay sitting there. It's I can't I'm in
pain.
>> It's time for the final beer. Then
there's
>> then there's dinner. I'm in pain though.
It's time for the final the final beer.
Oh [ __ ]
>> guys. It's the final [music] beer. You
read yours.
>> Hop Nation Nitro Coconut Pastry Stout.
>> Bit Grugie Brewery. You need to take a
seat and calm yourself down. Triple
hopped Western IPA. Pick the Hop Nation
one.
>> Can I get that? Give me that.
>> I'll give you a hop nation. I swear to
God [laughter] if some if there's a
thing there's a can that says Bit Grooie
Brewery, I'lling rip my actual [ __ ] off,
Max. Chad, I I lit I literally don't
care if it exists. It's worth more to me
than it exists. It doesn't matter if you
pretend that it does or doesn't. I I
literally don't care. I'll do the
honors. Thank god. Nitro coconut hop
nation pastry stout. That's foul as
[ __ ] Those are the colors that you make
something when it's healthy.
>> All right, thanks for watching, guys.
What do you guys reckon? I haven't been
this drunk in a while. Top text. Shut
the [ __ ] up. That is horrible. You can
do the outro. I'm leaving.
>> Chad, you haven't had any.
>> I had enough.
>> Holy [ __ ] it's black. Chad, have that.
That's a delicious coffee t, not a
pastry stout.
>> Max, you [music] can do the outro for
this all night. Drink your [ __ ]
>> I just had a mouthful. If I have one
more, it's
>> That's all right, [music] Darcy. It
ain't you like that?
>> Second. Yeah, there there there.
>> No, no, no.
>> Oh, [ __ ] sake. [laughter]
>> Thanks for watching, guys. Make sure you
check out the Patreon. Chad, are you
[ __ ] insane, bro? CHAD, [screaming]
NO. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
>> [music]
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In this chaotic episode of Cold Ones, Max and Chad attempt to drink and rank 20 of the weirdest craft beers they could find. Darcy, the producer, challenges them with a game where they must guess which of two bizarre beer names is real and which is fake. As they progress through 'sludge-like' smoothie sours, bubblegum IPAs, and savory stouts, the pair deals with the physical toll of 20 high-alcohol craft beers, leading to visible intoxication, unplanned messes, and some surprisingly positive reviews for the strangest concoctions.
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