I don't think they knew the impact it

was having but it was destroying me

inside

oh my God sorry I didn't expect for this

to happen

um

what is up daddy gang

[Music]

the most listened to female podcasts in

the world hundreds of millions of

downloads every month why you I do

everything for my audience it's a very

[ __ ] up industry to be a part of

morally I don't know if I should be

saying this but it just keeps getting

bigger the more that we keep saying wild

but exploiting my life for four years

there is a cost

the last year or so that I had a co-host

I was really struggling it's all her

daddy was the biggest show ever and

everyone's like these girls are the best

of friends and it was all crumbling

behind the scenes why was I like getting

people out of bed managing like drugs

and alcohol trying to be the fixer

someone's gonna be the victim and

someone's gonna be the villain and I was

the villain you can get down a really

dark path if you do have a goal it's not

worth losing yourself to get the prize

if today were your last day and I slid

you a phone and said you're gonna have a

conversation with your former partner

would you dial the number

I struggled so much wanting to tell the

full story and wanting to tell the truth

before we get into this episode just

wanted to say thank you first and

foremost for being part of this

community

um the team here at the diver Co is now

almost 30 people and that's literally

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[Music]

hi

what is the earliest thing the earliest

piece of context that I need to know

about you to understand the person that

sat in front of me today and all that

she's accomplished

oh my gosh Stephen

um

oh that's a hard question I would say

I think that

the

experience I had growing up watching my

father

and what he did for a living my dad is a

sports television producer

and

I remember when I was younger my mom

would take my sister my brother and I

into Philadelphia

and we would go to the Philadelphia

Flyers games because that's what he

would produce and we would stay in the

stands watching hockey for like a period

And then after the first period we would

beg my mom like please can we go see Dad

can we go see dad and my mom would be

like okay like let's go and she's like

you have to be quiet and so she would

bring us down to the television Studio

and every single time it would like Take

My Breath Away watching my dad because I

would walk in and he would be at the

dead center at the front of the room

with like 20 people behind him

70 plus cameras in front of him and he

would be producing and directing a live

sporting event

and that's like my earliest memory of

realizing like holy [ __ ] I want to do

this like I want to do what my dad does

and

um I think it was always instilled in me

also like my Dad loved what he did so I

know a lot of my friends their dad's

like gotta go to work and like I get

that that's like a lot of people in the

world but I was so fortunate to watch my

dad was the first one in the arena like

he was the first one there he had his

notes he was ready to go and then I

would watch him like produce this live

show of like roll camera a go to the

announcers roll the graphic like hit the

color and I just was so enthralled by

that world that from a very young age I

was able to quickly locate

that's what I want to do that's what I I

want not only just like the actual Act

of producing but the way that my father

engaged with his work like it wasn't

work my dad never complained about going

he was always so enthusiastic and so to

see your your parent and a figure above

you that you respect so much be so in

love with what they're doing I always

was like I want my passion to become my

purpose to become what I do in life and

I do think that kind of then makes sense

as to like where I am now like I love

what I do and I really accredit a lot of

that to like watching my father be so in

love with his career and his job what

about your mother

my mother is a psychologist so it's like

the perfect storm growing up I was like

Mom stop being so smart leave me alone

why do all of the other kids moms would

be like oh yeah go to the movies sweetie

and my mom would be like you're not

going to movies you're going to a party

tell me what's happening where are you

going I'd be like why do you know these

things so it was frustrating I think

when I was younger my mom and I had a

really

interesting dynamic because I always

like to push the boundaries and I was

the youngest so I was kind of like the

wild child and I loved that my mom was a

psychologist but I hated it because she

was like too insightful and too with it

that I wish I could have gotten away

with more but I do think as I started to

come into my own having her have this

background in Psychology allowed me to

really put more of an importance on

connection

connecting to your emotions

um EQ versus IQ like my parents cared

about our grades but they also were more

like do you know how to interact in a

room like do you know how to read the

room like do you know when your friend

is upset are you being

um honest with yourself of how you're

feeling so like my household was always

like how are you feeling what's going on

and I'm like can we stop talking about

our feelings for one [ __ ] second but

it really was like the perfect storm of

I now on my show am so interested in

just talking and having engaging

conversations because I think my mother

it was like a prerequisite in our house

of like no no you can't leave the house

before I know like how are you doing I'm

like I'm fine but like so I think I

really admired her but in my like angsty

teen years I was like [ __ ] off like stop

asking me how I'm feeling I want to go

drink and have fun with my friends

um but she's amazing and she's been like

probably the most instrumental person in

my life in terms of like my personal

development as a human being

when she asked you how you were feeling

when you were a kid

were you always honest with her

no oh God no I was really

um I had a hard time with like

wanting to make my parents really proud

I think they saw a lot in me and I was

very like doing a lot of things I was

really good at soccer I was like good at

making movies and films and all the

things but I like really struggled

in school and so I never wanted to tell

my parents that because I felt like

I think I was like embarrassed because

like who I was at home was so not who I

was at school and so I was almost like

I'm still working through this in

therapy so I don't really know the full

answer yet but what I do know is I was

like embarrassed to explain to my

parents that I was like getting bullied

at school or having a hard time because

when I got home I then was my actual

real self where I was outgoing and Goofy

and happy but then when I would go to

school I never wanted to tell them

actually like that I was struggling

which is really strange and I am still

working on trying to figure out like why

I didn't feel that way because my

parents were so loving would have gone

to school and like talked to the

teachers or the parents of the little

shits that were bullying me but I just

had this like internal

way of compartmentalizing

School struggles and then like being at

home and trying to

engage in things that I loved and made

me happy and I just like to like

separate the two

as you were saying I was trying to like

figure out why that is sometimes why we

and my brain said like we almost don't

want to taint our our happy place or our

safe place with the with the unhappy

place it's like it almost poisoned that

place it bring that energy into the into

that safe place yeah I think that's a

good point like

I I really struggled with

people being so mean strictly it was

just all about my appearance like I was

a very awkward kid I think I had a hard

time also coming out and talking about

it on caller Daddy because I feel like

the Persona that I am putting out into

the world is very like

blonde bombshell she's got her life

together and people are like you got

bullied and so that dichotomy I think is

like hard for people to understand but

like I still feel like the girl that was

bullied in middle school elementary

school so I I think yeah I think there

was like a pride thing of like they can

do that to me at school but when I get

home and I'm gonna go in the basement

and I'm gonna make my films like they

can't touch that like that's for me and

that's what

honestly like saved my life to be honest

like creating content was like the one

thing that kept me going and like happy

and I was able to find my purpose

because school was like just so awful

for me

when you say saved my life do you mean

that yeah I I actually found like a

journal I'm not crying but my I just

will not stop watering or maybe I am

um

I found a journal of mine it was so

[ __ ] sad to read I was really going

through a hard time in school I think

when you go through bullying you feel

so [ __ ] isolated and

unfortunately or I hope like I actually

don't think the kids that were bullying

me and most of them were boys

um I don't think they knew the impact it

was having like it was like a casual

mean comment at recess but it was

destroying me inside and so I found a

journal that broke my heart because

it was basically me saying like

oh this is

if I was like if I killed myself maybe

then they would realize like how [ __ ]

up all the comments that they were

saying to me

oh my God sorry I didn't expect for this

to happen

um

I just like I think I realized like I'm

like [ __ ] like they would then realize

like the impact that their comments had

on me and I really don't think that like

I'm saying like I don't think those kids

actually knew like damn like and so I

think almost the way of thinking about

killing myself was like then they would

realize the impact and so I had a lot of

dark thoughts that like I

I'm like I feel really bad for myself in

that moment because I think a lot of

times people are like I wouldn't take it

certain things back because like it made

me who I am I would take that back I

think what what I felt in those moments

I would absolutely take back because it

just like I don't I think I could still

be where I am and not have gone through

that type of pain

have you had to have a conversation with

that

that go

the younger version of Alex in therapy

and stuff too yeah um it's been weird

because our job is so weird where like I

remember

do we have a tissue sorry no you're fine

I'm like whoa I didn't expect to cry

this dude and I wasn't even expecting to

cry

um

I think why I'm so emotional too is like

I'm kind of like currently working

through this in therapy and

I think our job is very strange where I

remember

when I took the show on my own

um and I was doing like solo episodes

and I kept

realizing I had like these

people-pleasing Tendencies and I wanted

to share it on my show but I'm like I

have to give context to the daddy gang

my fans like why I have these Tendencies

and so I remember

telling my fans in the world that I was

bullied before I even told my therapist

and I do sometimes think there's like

something beautiful about that of like I

Knew by me saying that I was gonna

immediately connect with so many of my

fans and like we were going to be able

to have an even deeper connection but I

haven't really worked through all of it

so like I think sometimes when you bring

up

things you went through and you're not

fully healed or whatever like I'm still

kind of in the middle of processing all

of it but

I have started to think about that

younger self but I I think it's still so

raw of like even unpacking like how it's

affected me in adulthood that I'm having

a hard time like

going through all the layers of it still

have you seen sort of imprints that

remain on you as an adult I think about

my own experience being I mean talked

about this a lot on the show so people

know but being the only like black kid

in all white school being the poorest

family in the area and that constant

feeling of like ongoing shame like yeah

I think back and I've realized in my

adult life like

I always would say how I am so

comfortable being alone I love my alone

time

but I think that comes from the initial

Inception was like such pain and hurt

and isolation

um when I was young I would go into my

room and I would cry but I would make

sure my parents couldn't hear me crying

again because like I wanted to be like

the cool soccer player creative girl

when I'm home and I didn't want them to

know what I was going through so I would

be crying or writing in a journal and I

realized like I got so

I went through like hating every single

thing about myself externally

like I would look up remedies of like

how to get rid of my cystic acne like I

would literally Envision taking like a

razor and like taking it off my skin

like I thought of so many things and I I

just like was constantly trying to

change myself because I was getting

bullied for like the way that I looked

and I think it's really detrimental when

you're at an age where like all you care

about is peer approval all you care

about is people liking you and so I

think the part of me that like yes hated

myself I did get really comfortable

being alone because those were the

moments where I allowed myself to have

all of the thoughts like bottling up and

not telling anyone that I was going

through this I remember

a friend of mine that I've been friends

with since like fourth grade she was

like Alex I can't believe you never

told me because I was going through

something really similar she has red

hair and freckles and she was like I got

so bullied and we were in the same

school we were best friends and we

didn't even know we were both going

through it and I can't even imagine how

much easier my life would have been if I

at least like grabbed onto her and we

had each other but I think

bullying is very hard to explain unless

you've gone through it where like you're

so alone you hate yourself

you almost like yeah you hate the

bullies but you almost like some you

just internalize it so you hate yourself

you don't even hate them as much as you

hate yourself you want to change

yourself you want to be able to fit in

you want to hide you and so you do

certain things where like even my my

mannerisms or my posture was so like

defeated and awkward

um and now I look back and it's like my

adult life I have ex I am working on

working through extreme people pleasing

Tendencies because

I just wanted people to like me when I

was younger and so even sometimes I see

things on the internet where I'm like oh

he's being like too annoying or extra

but it's like I feel like I just want

people to like me and sometimes that's

all I'm thinking about that I can

imagine that comes off in a way that's

maybe not as likable but it's like I

really am just trying to connect

um and then I think the The Loner thing

like I've had so many

I had a lot of issues in romantic

relationships where

I would be like in love with someone but

they would be like what I didn't even

know you liked me and so I think I would

avoid getting hurt and rejected because

I was rejected in those years of feeling

the ultimate rejection of again when

you're like all you care about is peer

Dynamics friends like who's and who's

top five like boys were like repulsed by

me and so I was like I hated myself I

didn't think I was

good enough and so when I would get

someone I tried to like

have a defense almost against like they

can't hurt me because like I'm already

setting myself up to know what's going

to be over before they can like reject

me

you know when I sit here with um people

and I learn about their early years I

think there's always and probably I had

this assumption before I started doing

this that when we reached a moment of

success or whatever when our

circumstances change the trauma goes out

the door with it and I I've come to

learn from doing this that it stays and

I've actually I feel like I've never met

a person who has managed to take that

early upbringing the early adverse are

bringing to zero I've never met the

person yeah

I'm guessing you've made progress on

these things yeah I have

I think like

when I was so young

being in school I I started to really

struggle with my grades because

it would be like I'm getting bullied in

school and I would run home and I

started to compartmentalize so well that

creating content to me was like

literally what kept me going right and

so

I would go into my basement and my dad

gave me this like big huge clunky Sony

camera and I was obsessed with creating

these characters creating these story

lines like I laugh now because I didn't

even put it together but I would force

all my friends all my soccer friends to

participate in like making videos with

me and we remade The Devil Wears Prada

and you would think immediately of what

I'm telling you like who would I play I

would play Anne Hathaway's character I

played Meryl Streep I I was freaking

Miranda Priestly I'm like I'm the

farthest thing from that at that point

in my life but it was like I loved

playing characters that like it like

ignited this confidence in me where I

could feel for a minute like I I am this

boss like I am this like strong

Confident Woman

um and so creating content for me was

like this outlet that allowed me to

almost like

become the thing that internally I

always did have this confidence and I

knew I had this fun personality in this

spark but it was so tainted by the

minute I walked out the doors of my

house

when I was struggling in school I think

I started to realize like I don't want

to do math I don't want to do history

like I just want to create content and I

think it was really hard for me to focus

in school because I almost was like

so focused on the goal of like let me

just keep creating content and I can't

explain it but it was like the driving

force for me to just keep going and to

keep dealing with a lot of the [ __ ]

that I was struggling with

therapy I'm thinking about that

alignment you're talking about between

being being able to show up as yourself

everywhere you go whether it's in school

or whether it's on your show or wherever

also it was quite clear that in school

in your earlier years you weren't able

to show up as yourself hmm

what role has therapy played in helping

you to become

Alex when you're on camera off camera in

school in Social settings wherever you

go

well at first it wasn't changing my life

and my therapist was like had a hard

conversation with me I think it was like

two months into us working together and

she was like Alex I need to say

something to you and I'm like am I in

trouble she's like you can't you pay me

like you're not in trouble but I need to

be honest with you

I can tell you're not

you're not being honest you put on this

facade that everything is good

everything is okay and like the point is

to come here and be emotional and you

can trust me to not

tell anyone judge you and I think I had

kept this hard exterior for so long that

it was

really foreign to me to open up and talk

about my insecurities and what I'd

struggled with because when you're

bullied you eventually create this armor

that is like

completely sealed shut you

you wear it and you like know the pain

but you eventually have to survive and

keep going and so I think in therapy my

therapist was like what is why can I not

like get in there and I eventually

I didn't I didn't even say anything in

that session I was like I don't know

like I'm telling you the truth and then

weirdly that was when I ended up opening

up on my show about it and then I came

back to her and I was like okay here you

go and I just spilled everything because

I was at least attuned enough to therapy

from my mother of like I know in order

to actually have change Within Myself

and for this to work I have to be honest

but there was still like I was still

embarrassed to tell my therapist

because I knew she would look at me

differently and I thought she thought I

was like this well put together person

and I just was like holy [ __ ] I've

created such a facade that like

everything is perfect exteriorly with me

that

I'm not going to be able to actually

undo the damage that was done if I don't

actually start talking about it and so

that was like a really pivotal moment

for me where therapy

finally broke down that layer but my

therapist had to chip away and now she

jokes about it with me all the time it's

like do you remember when you would come

in and I'd be like so and eventually she

was like why are we here

whose decision was it to go to therapy

me

did you go with with a particular Focus

or just generally yeah it was a

particular focus it was

um

about like the last

year or so that I had a co-host I was

really struggling

um and

I was like my mom kept being like I need

to be your mom I can't be your therapist

like you you need to talk to someone and

that was when I finally so that was

about like 20

25 24 and I finally was like okay I'm

just gonna get a therapist and it was in

New York City and I would go in person

with her

and that it felt very

um

at first it felt very like why am I here

like I don't need this but then

eventually it like cracked and it was

really helpful but it was not easy I

will say I think a lot of people think

therapy is like sit down and tell your

secrets like it's so awkward at first if

you're not even I had a psychologist as

a mother and I'm still like I don't want

to do this but I think it's all in your

head because once you open the

floodgates

they never close you were struggling

yeah

are you asking me with what yeah you

said you were struggling so

you probably from what you said you were

going to your mother and explaining that

there was a struggle that struggle is

that is that a social struggle with a

friend or is that a psychological

struggle or I think

in business there was a lot happening

where I was living with someone I was

doing business with we were struggling

with business like there were so many

things happening and I was

how do I say this I was struggling

to take care of myself in an environment

that was really unhealthy

and

was

like the show was priority but behind

the scenes it was a disaster and so I

was like

compromising on a lot of things that

like morally I didn't agree with or

mentally I wasn't feeling good about and

it was at a really weird time because

call her daddy was like the biggest show

ever and everyone's like these girls are

the best and they're the best of friends

and they're the best and like that's

life like you it's almost like how

everyone talks about like Instagram we

put our best foot forward and it was all

crumbling behind the scenes

and it was

terrifying to me because I worked my

whole life to like get to a point like

this where I'm producing a show and it

just felt very scary to me that I didn't

have control of all the aspects going on

and the symptoms were psychological for

you psychological I was

basically in a co-dependent relationship

like it was so unhealthy

um for both of us and uh

I think

psychologically yes I even think

physically it was taking a toll on me

um and then it was also taking a toll on

my other relationships because like the

partner I had at the time was like

bearing the weight of me

complaining about so much going on in my

life because I couldn't go at the person

that I had to get up every morning with

and record right like I couldn't be

um I had to keep the show going so it

was like

very detrimental to yes psychologically

and my like mental health like the show

came first before

I think both of our personal needs what

was the advice you you needed most of

that moment but didn't get

or maybe just before that moment

happened because that's kind of like

that's when things start falling yeah

but if you've got advice maybe a couple

of years earlier

it would have prevented you getting into

that situation so what is that advice

that and I'm saying this because of

there's someone at home now who's you

know they want to follow in your

footsteps and whatever career or

industry it might be but when you get

into business and things start going

well

you where you just [ __ ] wish that

someone had told you

I mean

maybe that

it's okay to

leave it's okay to leave a situation

for both people involved

um

it's okay to want to hold on to

something because

in some aspects it's really working but

if you are compromising

your morals and your mental health and

at one point your sanity like it ain't

worth it

um

but again I think like even if someone

had told me that I had to live through

it because

I worked my hor my whole life for this

like I

finally got the show and I was producing

and I was doing what I loved but I then

started to hate it and that to me was

when I was like

I didn't need anyone to tell me at that

point that I should

leave it was like oh I've Loved this my

whole life something's off like if I'm

this miserable

there's a better way

from that you must have learned the

factors that need to be in place

professionally for you to love work

because you you got to experience

head-on all the factors that make a

passion turn into yeah misery

so on the flip side what are the factors

that you need and you believe people

generally need for them to like love

their work yeah

I think that the first thing is like

business is so

there's so many different layers it's so

so complicated even if it's just you so

then add another person in

it's almost impossible and I think like

it was so difficult

my partner and I at the time had such

different wants such different you know

envisionments for our career in the

future and that is so okay but I think

the issue is like

if you have the ability to sit down

before you begin which we didn't really

have like I remember

I came home

um

one day or she came home from work one

day she was uh the third roommate to me

and my best friend from childhood we had

met her like it was like a very random

like hey we need a third you want to

come live with us we'd live together for

like

a couple months if that and I was like

do you want to do this podcast with me

I had no idea it was going to be the

biggest podcast in the world I had no

idea her wants and what truly she was

interested in what she was passionate

about we were passionate about such

different things so it's like I think in

business you do have to actually believe

that this could become the biggest thing

you have to put your mind there and one

that's incredible for your

self-confidence to be like if you're

starting a business

pretend it's about to be apple

Envision and and who you're sitting next

to do you want to be there with them or

for yourself are you willing to get

there and sacrifice certain things in

your personal life to get there like

whether it's a duo or a singular person

like you actually have to Envision

yourself at the end line and at your

goal because

you have to mentally start to function

that way because then all of a sudden

you could get there and then you're like

oh [ __ ] I didn't plan for this and I

think that's kind of what we both felt

we were like

we don't even really know each other

three episodes in this is the biggest

show in the world like we're drinking

buddies like what this is not a this is

not supposed to be a business and we are

way in over our heads and I think that's

okay but I look back and I'm like

I had no idea what we were getting

ourselves into but I do think in

business it's like

you gotta think big because once you get

there you better be prepared

and I wasn't

do you know what that's actually the

advice that I wish I'd got before I

started in business which is imagine the

day when someone comes along and offers

you a hundred million how are your

contracts

because when you start you'll you'll

you'll be tempted by oh my god of fifty

thousand pounds to ten five thousand

pounds I here you go everything I'll

sign anything and then and you do that

often in your desperation and naivety

but then you get five years down the

line things are big and you just

absolutely [ __ ] wish and Dread that

you didn't think like this

um so there's gonna be a lot of people

listening that are either starting out

in the business Journeys that really

need to get into that difficult mindset

the thing is what you said also applies

to relationships generally

this idea of like making sure from the

jump that your Visions are aligned oh

yeah

I also love that you said you know we

wish we could have told ourselves but

then I'm also in life like

no that was supposed to happen because

now

when I went and signed my Spotify deal

you best believe I was like who's around

me do I own these trademarks do I own

this IP do I own like everything that

felt like I had

not

focused on in the beginning that I was

like kicking myself for the second time

around

I was like damn sure that I had like

everything locked in and I still even

made like a couple mistakes but like I I

think that that's also just life of like

you're gonna have you can try to be as

prepared as you can

you're never going to be fully prepared

but

having some ability to reflect on what

you wish you had done

differently or better or the same there

were some things that I was like I'm

sticking exactly that course I think you

just have to think about it and be

cognizant of those steps and I think

sometimes you rush quickly like that's

like our world today it's like go go go

like take the new job don't take a

minute to pause that's where I think you

get screwed over within yourself of not

recognizing like

what's going to be different this time

you're miserable over there how's it

going to be different so I wouldn't take

it back I just think of course there's

things I wish I had done differently but

then I did them differently for my next

deal and I am exponentially happier with

the way that I'm handling business who

I'm surrounding myself with how I'm

hiring

um you know who touches the product like

there's everything now I've formulated

and I think a lot of people think like

oh Spotify like just so many people

around her

I've

two or one people one person in my

office every day like I've kept it

pretty small because that's what I

always wanted I want to produce I want

to edit I want to direct I want to do as

much as I can in a smart way but

you just have to know what you want

and then when you get away from it then

you really know what you want because

they're like wait I want to go that way

and that's a great thing

there's an interesting point here though

about being a people pleaser when a

people pleaser strikes it big it's hard

to like put up those boundaries and

start like saying what you want and what

you need and having because even the

conversation we had a little bit a while

ago about aligning and communicating

what you want from the jump so that

further down the line you don't mess

things up and regret it requires a

difficult conversation at the start

yeah I I wasn't even like aware of how

much I was people pleasing until it got

to that breaking point where I was like

there were so many things I was doing to

appease people around me

to keep the show going that was so

unhealthy that now I have in hindsight

I'm like what was I doing why was I like

getting people out of bed like why was I

like managing like drugs and alcohol and

like trying to be this like fixer and

then it's like just trying to put a show

on I think I was like a little over my

skis I just said that because I was

skiing this weekend so that's the only

knowledge I'm like over my head I'm like

over my skis

um you can get down a really really dark

path if you do have a goal in order to

get there and that is also advice I give

people of like

it's not worth losing yourself to get

the prize

because

what what was hard for me is like public

perception so I've talked to you about

how much I care about people liking me

now I'm on a world stage and there's

comments and there's people

and there was like a public Fallout with

a woman so there's like someone's gonna

be the victim and someone's gonna be the

villain and I was the villain and I'm

like

if this happened like to me

I think publicly I struggled so much for

a while of like wanting to tell the full

story and wanting to tell the truth and

be like I promise like

but I'm also then like my character was

like I I don't think anyone needs to

know what happened behind closed doors

and how dark it got and

but I just know that I was proud of

myself that I did

I know I'm a good person but when you

see the internet

picking sides or doing this like it

[ __ ] with you and I imagine for her it

[ __ ] with her like it was really hard

I think for two women to go through

something so big in a coveted pandemic

um that people just wanted drama

but I think my people-pleasing

Tendencies of like

wait why are these people thinking

something that I'm not that ate me alive

inside and I had to have my boyfriend my

mother my father my therapist be like

you both know the real story that's it

that's all you need to know and so I

think it took me a while though where I

was like I want to clear the air like

how many times are we going to go back

and forth like you know what I mean but

it can get

exhausting trying to make people know

your character and who you are

um especially when I've been talking on

the internet for almost now five years

like people think people have a

perception of me and and that's

something I have to live with and be

okay with but it's hard

I remember someone wrote in um in the

Diary of this year this little book that

I have in front of me guess when they

leave they write a question for the next

guest someone wrote in this book If

today were your last day

and you had to have a 60-second

conversation with someone in your life

um what would you say to them and why

and I was just wondering as you're

saying all of this this was clearly a

really tumultuous pivotal moment in your

life for better and for worse in many

respects

are there any words unsaid if today were

your last day and I I slid you a phone

and said you're gonna have a

conversation with with that person your

former partner

would you dial the number would you say

anything

no because I think in a weird way like

when there's time I think both sides and

I acknowledge both sides have their own

story that then just keeps going on like

I'm like what even is the reality

anymore we both have such different

story lines of everything that happened

if I was like forced to I would just say

like I hope you're healthy and you're

well but

I think we're both like in a beautiful

way I I said this to someone recently I

was like it's so much better that we're

both doing our own things like that's

the same thing in like romantic

relationships like

I think a lot of times you try to keep

making something work it shouldn't be

that difficult it really shouldn't if

it's meant to work it will be working

and I'm in the healthiest relationship

of my life right now and I'm like this

feels great this is what it's supposed

to feel like so

no I I don't think that I would pick up

the phone because I think

we see things very differently and

that's okay that's life like that's the

world that's politics that's religion

that's friendships ending that's

marriage is ending like you're just

gonna be like I don't see it like you

and that's okay

um I think the internet's probably a

little bit more invested than even the

two of us are but

yeah I think that would be just I hope

you're healthy

cool hey Daddy

you tell me where the boundaries are

here but how big is this show you know

it's difficult it's difficult to get an

idea of it because it's kind of a black

box the way it operates in Spotify but

what can you tell me about the size of

the show because I want to go into

what's made it successful so give me the

headline I would say that it is

um the most listened to female podcast

in the world wow

wow um

it's and it's exclusive at Spotify so

that is wild to me that the numbers even

being exclusive and you can only find it

on one platform that it's as big as it

is

um it still doesn't really like register

to me because when people say that I'm

like podcasting is weird like I don't I

don't like I'm not a singer of seeing

everyone in the audience like I just

like talk and then I go and eat a

sandwich and play with my dogs and go to

sleep like sometimes it doesn't register

but the success of this show is wild to

me because

when we first released our first three

episodes with barcel sports

it went number two right underneath Joe

Rogan and I think every podcast if it

has like a lot of traction like the

algorithm Works where like if you have

immediate engagement of like new

followers a lot of people are gonna hit

up in the top 10.

but then by week three and then week

four and then week 10 and then week 20

it was constantly just sitting right

under Rogan and then I remember like I

think it was

maybe our 10th week or something it went

past Rogue and then we were back to

Second and it was like whoa

that wasn't that wasn't the plan like of

course the plan is to get big but I just

remember

um I remember Eric nardini who's the CEO

at barcel came in and was like just so

you know like girls your episode

um is like getting the same numbers as

our biggest show at Barstool uh PMT or

yeah and I was like

really like that's so cool like I I we

didn't have like a concept I don't think

yet so it went viral so fast and again

that goes back to like there was no plan

like I knew in my mind like I love doing

this but like there was no plan I didn't

even want to be a podcaster like I

wanted to direct films and and TV shows

and so then after that the show only

continued to grow and

it still doesn't feel real like I think

the craziest thing was when I signed my

Spotify deal it was very exciting for me

that Spotify looked at me and was like

we really respect what you did in the

past but pitcho switched the future

because that's why we're signing you

knowing a little bit about Spotify and

the numbers and the podcasting game I I

know you must be getting hundreds of

Millions

of downloads and streams a month

it's wild

like don't tell me that because it's

like what it's crazy why

the most listened to

female podcast in the world hundreds of

millions of downloads every month

there's millions of podcasts out there I

there's loads of numbers knocking around

I read one recently that said there's

almost three million podcasts

why

yours why why you and why yours you must

have like slowly over time which is kind

of what we've tried to do look back and

tried to figure it out like what's the

subtle and obvious things that I've made

you

be so successful

I think

truly there is and like I'm obviously

not being biased but I don't think that

anyone has the relationship they have

With Their audience the way that I do I

think when you start a show talking

about sex especially for women and it's

so taboo and there's so much shame

the amount of trust that that garnered

for me in between me and them was

unmatched like I

still to this day it shocks me that

women come up to me in the street

and will tell me about

sexual abuse that they went through and

we've just met in 15 seconds they're

like Alex I have to tell you you got me

out of this really toxic abusive

situation all of a sudden someone's

coming to me being like I married

someone because of like it's like this

relationship that I've built

I think is

something that I will never be able to

like really articulate but I know it's

also coming from a place because I need

them just as much they need me I think

sometimes in the Creator world like it

gets a little

disconnected because we also are trying

to run businesses right and you can't

always do everything for your fans like

I can say I have been in huge meetings

with a lot of executive people telling

me what to do and I'm like

I don't want to do that because the

daddy gang won't connect that and

there's a lot of money on the table or

there's brand deals or there's all these

things and I have really been

intentional about like

I care more about the content than

what public facing accolades we're gonna

get and I think because I focus so much

on my relationship with my audience it's

then just garnered like oh this [ __ ]

just keeps getting bigger and it is a

huge show but like

I can't explain it like if I brought a

daddy game girl in here she would be

like let me tell you our connection like

it really does feel like so crazy how

connected we are so I think that is one

side of it I do everything for my

audience I sacrifice my personal

relationships I have skipped out on huge

family things to like make sure I'm like

no I need to give the daddy gang

something amazing this week I've never

put out an episode of caller daddy that

I'm not proud of every week I'm busting

my ass to provide for them and it's

doodly episodes

no you've never delete one episode

no never recorded an episode and thought

oh I've deleted them like not published

them but like if I've published it I've

never deleted it oh yeah so you've like

had a conversation with someone

I've actually only had a conversation

with one person that I've never released

just because they didn't want to be

there I think their publicist [ __ ]

them over they didn't know what they

were coming in for and I respectfully

was like this ain't it but um oh I've

recorded like so many solo episodes that

I've never pressed upload on that

eventually maybe I'll like put together

and be like these were my thoughts back

then but no I've never I've never

deleted an episode that I've published

but oh my God are you kidding my catalog

of things I haven't pressed upload on

it's like a whole nother 100 episodes

um but I and then I think the other side

of why it has been successful is like

it just goes back to

without sounding like a

egomaniac like I am obsessed with this

it I can't explain it like

every single week I'm like completely

fixated on how I'm gonna innovate make

it better make it special so I think

naturally like there are people that got

into this industry that actually didn't

really intend for it and there's like

producers handing them scripts and being

like sit down and talk like I'm so

obsessed and passionate about this that

I do think that translates in how

Innovative the show has been and just

like the growth because I love it and I

love producing content so it's been

really

easy for me in that regard like I've

never had a doubt in my mind that this

is what I'm supposed to be doing you

touched a little bit there on the cost

though that people don't see the

sacrifice families relationships all

these other things

part of the reason I started the show

actually was to shed a shed more of a

light on the cost of like being a CEO

because it's very glamorized everyone

wants to do it but then I think

providing balance allows people to

understand if it's actually the right

choice for them away from the accolades

and the followers and the Clapping like

is this really the right choice for you

so in your experience what has been the

material cost of your your journey

I think something I've been really

struggling with is first of all with

regard to business I'm

such a creative at heart that

business-wise

I'm really trying to work on recognizing

like this has gotten so big I need to be

in these meetings I need to be like

I need to be interacting with people on

the business end of things and like my

boyfriend always jokes he's like you're

99.9 creative all times like you need to

dial it at least 10 to business Alex and

I'm like

I don't need to answer the email I'm

just gonna sit in the edit room and make

the episode so I think I've really

it's been a little bit of a challenge

like hiring people personalities coming

in figuring out how to balance being

the talent

the executive producer

and the CEO and the owner of a company

is like

like it's it's a little it almost like

contradicts itself like things that I

should be doing as the talent

the CEO shouldn't be doing like the

conversations I'm having as the talent I

shouldn't be having but I'm the CEO so

I'm like I have to fire you and then

it's like well are you gonna go tweet

about me you you know it's like so

strange where most companies like this

that person wouldn't be a public-facing

person so like and then my people

pleasing Tendencies I've kept employees

longer because I'm like I can't fire

this person even though they're not

doing their job because like I don't

want them to go online and say I'm a

[ __ ] and then my therapist is like

Alex sweetie

if you're paying someone they're not

doing their job

you have to fire them but I'm like so

it's like I've struggled a lot with like

who I'm having around me then on the

personal side of things

I don't want to say the word exploiting

but I'm just going to say it then I'm

going to take it right back but like

exploiting my life for four years

there is a cost of like

I don't expect a lot of people to relate

to it it's really weird that I've talked

about my sex life and my breakups and my

heartbreak and friend breakups and

family issues and Trauma and all the

things you can possibly imagine like

that's not normal to be that open about

it on the internet so naturally I think

there's like a what's next like always

trying to one-up yourself and that can

be really detrimental and I think when I

look back at the early days of caller

daddy like I'm embarrassed by some of

the things that I said not that I'm

embarrassed by the product I think was

great but there's some things that I was

like why did I say that on the internet

like

that was mean or that was but it was all

like I don't think people understand

like

we were being rewarded by how much

crazier it was every week it was like if

you get crazier the views go up the

clicks keep coming so it was like this

really diabolical feeling in your head

where it's like morally I don't know if

I should be saying this but

it just keeps bigger getting bigger the

more that we keep saying wild [ __ ] and I

think in the beginning we had a handle

on it and then when we hit like episodes

50 60 it was like throwing [ __ ] at the

wall

because people just wanted to see us

like dance it was like do something

crazy again this week and

that's why I have some empathy for

creators that have taken it too far

where you see that line is like they

push it they push it everyone loves

right when you're teetering the line

they're like oh yeah oh yeah the minute

you cross the line even though they've

been encouraging you to go farther

farther and you fall off

what's wrong with you what you're

disgusting like that's awful you're a

bad person so it's like it's a very very

[ __ ] up industry to be a part of

because like you're rewarded for the

chaos but if it's too chaos then you're

out

um has ever crossed your mind

being someone who publishes a lot of

content and does it frequently at a

certain Cadence you have a community

that are expecting it from you

that you probably can't stop

to some degree or the pressure that's

that exists to keep you going keep

publishing keep going keep going keep

going means that there is in some

respects you could say a bit of a lack

of Freedom like you couldn't take six

months off right I can't even take two

weeks off

I yeah that has crossed my mind there's

there's some days where like the

the

unforgivingness of this industry

gets a little

it freaks me out a little bit because

I've found myself like I just said being

like

wait why did I do that because I'm so

deep in it and I'm so content focused

that I'm pulling myself out I'm like the

Alex with her family and her partner and

her her real life like that's not who I

am

I think

um I actually think that's why I kind of

pivoted my show for a minute to

interviews

I needed like a break because I was like

first of all we don't need to keep

hearing me talking like let's give me a

break like you're all sick of me

um I wanted to just start to talk to

other people for a second because doing

these solo episodes every single week I

needed something new and unique to say

and that can cause you to lose your

[ __ ] mind like I don't think people

understand like an hour of content I was

talking to my boyfriend about this he's

like I make hour and a half movies that

we work on for nine months like

every week you have an hour to fill and

if it's just you talking

it's it's like almost insane like you're

gonna start doing things you're gonna

start putting yourself in situations to

get content to talk about things and I

started to be like this is unhealthy

there's other ways to entertain people

and other ways to feel creatively

stimulated and that's when I just

started to talk to other people and and

then interviewing I think gave me like

a real sense of fulfillment because

it goes back to my childhood like I love

connecting with people I love what we're

doing right now this is like my jam this

is like I could let's go for five hours

every time I do a podcast people like

that was the longest podcast we've ever

done like I can't stop talking because I

love connecting with people I love

discussing topics

um and right now that's what I'm doing

on my show and again like I said who

knows maybe it will change in a year but

yeah it's a it's a weird feeling to be

like where is the end mark

I don't think there is an end mark for

me because maybe it will look different

but I aside from all like the drama of

what we're talking about it goes back to

me being like I love this [ __ ] and so

are there boundaries I can set with

myself in order to make it

healthier just like any person with any

job like you can get wrapped up in that

and it's

not healthy

a lot has been written about the

financial

um deal you did with Spotify a lot of

people talk about that what what impact

did that have if any on your life

there's the 60 million numbers flown

around everywhere you don't have to

confirm or deny but um

did that change things in any material

way

it was the craziest

truly the craziest feeling that I've I

still can't really articulate of like

I never started this for money I'm

really

fortunate how much my parents were like

keep it real keep it normal like

what is all this if you're about to be

like this like like none of this matters

it could all be gone tomorrow and so

I've been fortunate to be raised by

people that like I just it hasn't really

affected me I feel like the same person

that I was in Pennsylvania definitely a

little bit more progressed and like how

I feel about myself and and I feel

smarter and you know more whole human

being but like that number to all it did

to me was solidify that the brand that I

built

deserves to be where it is and I haven't

really let it get to my head I'll let

you know if it does but like for right

now I feel like everyone keeps asking me

like how did it change your life it for

the rest of my life will change my life

and my kids lives and like I get that

but in the immediate

I'm still working the way I always work

I hunch over at my computer I I like I

have the same keyboards like people like

how do you not have like the keyboard

with all like there's certain like Tech

things that I could be doing I don't

give a [ __ ] I want to do exactly what

I've always been doing and keeping it

real and tight to myself and

like a little janky like I feel like it

like makes me feel like I'm still myself

and it hasn't expanded in a way that

maybe people think it has and so I'm I'm

proud of myself that I've kind of stayed

really grounded in who I am and why I

started this and I'm gonna continue to

always be cognizant of like why I

started this who I am and none of this

[ __ ] actually matters like who gives a

[ __ ] about a purse like you could lose

it like I want to have real

relationships I want to be close with my

family I want to be respectful of

people I'm around I want people to like

me I want to make people happy I want

them to make me happy I want to have

fulfilling Dynamics in my life that is

like the richest thing I think about me

right now is like I've worked a lot of

my relationships and I am finally I can

say to the point where like I'm happy in

my life and that to me like there's no

number you can put on that I don't give

a [ __ ] if they took that away from me

tomorrow well spot if I don't obviously

but like you know what I mean I'm like

it's it's amazing but

I still feel like the same person back

in Pennsylvania

is there this is a conversation I've had

previously with one of the very

successful

um women on my podcast you built up an

exceptional business is there a unique

Dynamic when a woman becomes incredibly

successful as you have

in terms of her relationships with

a man some of my girlfriends have often

said to me that they think men can often

feel emasculated a little bit when their

partner is incredibly successful

yeah uh I remember the when I started

call her daddy

um

I was having a really hard time with

dating

just because as the show got bigger

yeah men were so insecure

um but also that may have been because I

was the next morning talking about them

on the show being like this is what his

whatever looks like okay but no I I

really

um struggled to find genuine

relationships of

like again I still feel like

the like awkward girl that like still at

times looks in the mirror and I'm like

hyper fixating on certain things about

myself like I'm still insecure so like

yes I'm to call her daddy girl but I'm

also Alex from Newtown Pennsylvania that

was bullied and awkward and insecure and

like hated everything about herself so

like I always wanted them to know that

version of me that's worked on myself to

have self-love to respect myself like

that version is who I want them to love

but you also have to love my job and

respect it and and appreciate that this

is my passion

my partner now I remember meeting him

and I was like oh he's the one because

he's so successful in his own right and

the amount of times that he's been like

you could stop all this tomorrow I would

love you but you are so talented it's

like the hottest thing about you like

when you start talking about your job I

like melt for you because you're so

engaged and passionate and excited and I

love how passionate you are it makes me

so happy to be your partner that I can

watch you live out your dreams and

I was like okay you passed the test like

but but it's hard like I think if you're

in a relationship

it's not to say that you there's going

to be moments where your partner's down

you're up financially

um where they're at in their career

their status like if you just got a

promotion your partner just got fired

like that's gonna happen but overall

respect was a huge thing for me where

this means more to me than anything and

I need someone that can respect that

like I'm gonna choose a lot of times my

career in moments and I need you right

now to ride with me on this wave of like

maybe in 10 years it's not going to be

the same and

my partner like was the this is the

first partner I've ever had that is my

biggest cheerleader is you know we're

potentially going to do some stuff um

work-wise together

and he's like you be the face of it you

do like I don't like this is you like

this is like all you and it's so

refreshing to have someone have such an

intact ego that when we're going to bed

at night it's like how was your day how

was your day all the successes all the

issues failures ups and downs we're like

we'll get through it together and that

is I'm like it's allowed me to probably

be 10 times better at my job because I

have a secure partner I have a really

great relationship and now when I'm

showing up to work I'm feeling

even more supportive than just being

supported by myself and my immediate

family

if your partner wasn't successful in his

own right

do you think it would work

I think you have to define success

because

I actually had this conversation with

him the other day

it's not about

money it's about I couldn't be with

someone

that wasn't passionate about something

that didn't have their own sense of

identity their own sense of drive and

want

that doesn't work for me because I'm a

very passionate person where like I I've

been on dates with guys where I'm like I

get it like you're you don't feel when

I'm I'm like electric when I talk about

my job and I think that's okay I think

you I need someone that equally has

something in their life that they feel

so driven and pulled by that it allows

two individuals to come and make a great

couple but we got our own things and so

I don't give a [ __ ] if he's not making

money if it's every single day he's

waking up working for a non-profit and

is like I'm Gonna Change the World

go off absolutely love that it's success

to me is more that like you're

successful in working towards something

that you're so passionate about that it

does consume you at times

because I'm a workaholic and like I

can't have someone that's like

I just want to chill like and there's

nothing wrong with that I'm just a

really aggressive [ __ ] and I'm

like I need to be working and I want to

be fulfilled and I am fulfilled by my

job so it doesn't have to be your job

but you have to be successful in

life of what you're aiming towards

achieving you have to have some type of

achievement some type of passion some

type of purpose or else

We're not gonna have too much to talk

about because I can't shut up so like

yeah yeah even if it's like you're a

teacher you're a teacher and you love

what you're doing you're changing these

kids lives you're showing up amazing it

just you have to you have to have

something because I've clearly got

something and it's my baby and it's

called her daddy

you've clearly got something that's for

sure

I told you a second ago that guests when

they leave here they write a question in

the diary

what we did because the conversations we

have here tend to lean more towards the

vulnerable side of of people is we turn

them into these little cards so you can

play at home and no one's ever seen the

question who's written the question they

don't know who's written them and they

don't know what the questions are but

this box has a couple of questions and

I've taken about 60 of them out but I've

picked a couple for you okay so I'm

gonna slide it across the table all

right Stephen here we go and I would

like you to pick a question out of the

the conversation cards okay

I might ask you to pick more than one so

let's see how we get on okay

whichever one calls you oh my God

I have two okay

what pain do you enjoy having

what

um oh my God

you want to be demonetized on YouTube so

just oh right YouTube oh I've cursed too

many times no I know it's funny the

casting's fine the casting's fine I mean

I'm I'm concerned about it

later than that no pun intended

um

YouTube

what pain do you enjoy having

I think I've enjoyed the pain of

experiencing

true love

I thought I was in love in the past I

was in certain variations of whatever I

could be capable of giving for love and

receiving for love but recently I've

really experienced the painful moments

of

loving someone going through

grief loss death with them going through

moments of Disconnect moments of not

knowing if it was gonna work out like I

felt such pain in moments but

also such happiness and joy that

completely overrides the pain but I

don't think I've ever experienced it the

way that I have with this

partner in the beginning that it it was

painful to get to where we are now

now I don't experience that pain with my

partner but like it was

don't curse

um you can curse it was a [ __ ]

in the beginning to try to

align is this gonna work because we both

knew it was there but we were at a

little bit of different points in our

lives and I think the yeah I enjoy the

pain of of love and like real

like once in a lifetime It Feels Like

Love

daddy gangs he'd be like you sappy [ __ ]

what we've lost

I'm still here it's okay

ask you to pick another card one more

absolutely

I told you I would be here for five

hours if you let me say like I will just

keep talking and we're flying back to

London today

um

oh

do you think your younger self would be

proud look up to you now

yeah

yeah I do

which is so crazy if anything I wish I

could have

shown my younger self in those really

really dark moments like

[ __ ] you got this like look what you're

about to do like just wait hang in there

I think I would be so proud of myself

because I've stayed

honest with myself I've stayed loyal to

what I've wanted and I've I've gone for

it I've taken a lot of risks and I've

put myself out there which was not

something I liked to do when I was

younger so I think my younger self would

be like

damn we did it

that phone that I proverbiably slid you

earlier on I said to call your your ex

business partner if you had 30 seconds

if I slid you that phone now and I said

you can

have a conversation with

8 10 12 year old Alex Cooper

and you can say anything to her and

you've got 60 seconds to say it to her

slide you the phone you call her what'd

you say

I know right now it feels like there's

no getting out of the pain I know you

feel so alone you feel unseen you feel

unloved you feel unworthy but I promise

you every single thing you're going

through right now is gonna build you

into the person that you're going to be

so proud to be in the future and it's

worth it hang in there ask for help you

don't have to do everything alone

and I love you

in the Diary of a CEO we have hundreds

of questions that have been left by our

guests and we've put them

on these cards

and on these cards you have the question

that's been left in the diver CEO the

name of the person who wrote the

question and if you turn it over there's

a QR code if you scan that code you can

see which guest answered the question

and watch the video of them answering it

every time I've done this podcast and

every time we've asked the kind of

questions we ask here I feel a

tremendous sense of affinity to the

guest and our aim with these cards is

that you can create that sense of

connection through vulnerability at home

with the people you love the most and I

have some good news for you as of today

you can add your name to the waiting

list to be the first in line to get your

own set of conversation cards at the

conversationcards.com

for you

exciting

um

you're launching a business aren't you I

can't I can tell and it's is it a

product is it cosmetic what is it I

think that tell me Kylie Jenner tell me

no you're gonna be on the Forbes I think

it's gonna make a lot of sense

um it's it's staying in my space it's

I'm never gonna be like

I'm coming out with a water like it's

like I'm never gonna do something people

like oh God she sold out it's within the

next month I'll be launching something

that

is just going to completely Elevate and

expand the call her daddy brand

um everything that I'm passionate about

that I've talked about today it's just

expanding and it's gonna

allow call her daddy to live in so many

new places and you're going to be able

to experience call her daddy and that

brand and other things that I'm

passionate about you're going to be able

to consume it and there's just going to

be a lot more that you're going to be

able to

watch and see

you've achieved so much you know it's

funny because when I was you know

thinking about this new Venture that

you're going to be launching um

something you said earlier was really

thought provoking to me you talked about

how you've kind of just gotta ask the

world and Executives and people that

you're meeting for what you want

even if you don't really know it what

you want that like idea of like

demanding from people what you want I

think you said this when you spoke to

Jay as well on his show um and it rang

rang a bell in my head somewhere because

I'd heard someone a young member of my

team say that they in some respects felt

like they're kind of Faking it but they

needed to fake it to get the value that

they deserve and I reflect on that I

think in the conversation with Jay you

were talking about how women struggle

with this more than men in business

because because of that sort of

reluctance to or whatever

how important do you think it is for

people listening now that look up to you

for them to fake it before they make it

or to you know like demand from the

world what they want even if they don't

feel like they deserve it I think it's

everything because I don't want you to

be disingenuous with yourself but I also

want you to realize like

confidence is a word that feels so like

oh just be confident it is so hard to be

confident you can be confident in

certain aspects of your life and very

unconfident in others you can be

confident in your friendships but when

you walk into work you're so unconfident

or the complete opposite I would say

with business I've learned like

if you know what you want that is

something you should be able to locate

what do you want

what do you or what do you at least

think you want what makes you happy

what's what is a goal you can at least

put on the map because if not then like

you take a little minute for yourself

like come up with something then when

you're walking into these rooms you can

allow that to kind of be your compass I

know there's so many things for call her

daddy that I've wanted to do for so long

and I know that my audience knows like I

have kept caller daddy in this bubble

and it's almost like about to burst like

I've just stayed with the podcast I have

my merch but like I don't do much I

don't really do anything other than it

so I think when I think about expanding

in my mind it needs to be

so perfect but also I'm like but there's

so many opportunities what do I want to

do you don't actually need to know

exactly like the into the weeds of it

start having conversations leading with

that Compass of this is what I know I

want and ask people for help talk to

people like I've been having so many

meetings that I'm like I hate meetings

just let me go create but I've been

having so many meetings about what I'm

about to be launching

and there's been people that are able to

ask me questions that I wouldn't have

been able to think about had I been at

home thinking so it's like having

a compass of what you know you are

driving towards and then opening it up

for discussion around people that have

complete different ideas and mindsets

and you will be able to find help but

sometimes I think we think we have to do

it all on our own in business like don't

let anyone know what you're up to it's

not there no one can actually take that

away from you because whatever you're

going to do is going to be unique to you

but I do think I had a hard time asking

for help and now finally I'm having

meetings with people that are so

brilliant and they're allowing me to

think past what my brain was only able

to see and now it's opened up a world so

anyone in business don't be afraid to

even have like a hey can I pick your

mind for like a little bit like let's go