Meet the impatient man. Hates therapy.

Takes too long. Scared of failure. Needs

to prove his worth. Failure feels worse

the more experienced he is. That one

hurts, right? I should be able to do

this by now. I'm better. I'm higher

level. I should not be wiping on this

particular thing. Develops high

standards day after starting a new

hobby. Constant procrastinator. Chronic

goalpost pushing. Wants answers not

work. I should be good by now. Puts

excessive pressure on himself to

succeed. feels like he's on borrowed

time every second of his life. Never

feels good enough. The impatient man.

When someone makes a post like this, I

don't know if this makes sense, but

these are all problems that can be

solved, right? I'm scared of failure.

How do you conquer the the fear of

failure? Develops high standards after

starting a new hobby. How do you keep

yourself from moving the goalposts?

Okay. Oh, chronic goalpost pushing.

There we go. Never feels good enough.

What is the origin of self-esteem? Okay,

failure feels worse the more experienced

he is. So like these are all things that

we can give answers to. So we can say,

okay, how do you stop moving the

goalposts? How do you stop setting high

standards as soon as you start

something? And this is where I could

say, okay, there's this interesting

psychological concept where when you

feel like you're behind, your mind needs

to catch up. So there's something I

lived through where I was getting Fs in

classes. And when you're done with that

semester and you go into the next

semester, you don't say, "Okay, I got

all Fs. I should shoot for all D's." You

say, "I need all A's." Right? So, one of

the reasons that we set impossible

standards for oursel is as long as we

feel like we have to make up for lost

ground, cuz learning the thing is hard

enough anyway. Like even if you're not

compensating for anything else, as long

as you are internally compensating for

your failures, you will set impossible

standards for yourself because you need

to make up for lost time. That's just

one example, right? Another example, the

more experienced you get, failure hurts

more. So what's the answer there? Well,

this has to do with your ego, your

perception of I am someone who should be

able to do this. I'm someone who should

be competent and I don't I I made a

mistake and so this is not who I want to

be. So this is like an issue of ego and

identity. And the moment that you let go

of that identity and you recognize even

experienced people can make mistakes,

you can be productive towards it, you

can ask yourself, okay, how did I make

this mistake in this situation even

though I've done this before? You can

problem solve and fix the issue instead

of feeling buttth hurt because you're a

failure and you should know better. That

has to do with ego. There's a thousand

different answers to this, right?

Because each of these are problems. But

this person brilliantly was like, "This

all feels like one thing." And they call

it impatience. Like I'm impatient. Okay?

So, you know, we have this idea that,

you know, they're like like these people

who go to India or like go to South

Korea or China or whatever and they

study to become a monk, right? They go

through like this training and then they

come back transformed. There's like

something fundamental. there something

special that they learn over there that

then like solves these problems right

like all these problems and it's like

they get solved like fundamentally like

it gets fundamentally fixed and what is

it that they learn so we're going to

teach you one of these concepts today I

did a 2-hour lecture on this concept

over on the membership side part of the

reason that we're not going into that

level of detail here today is because

some of the stuff that we do on the

membership side has like steps to it so

that's you know that lecture is like

maybe part two of like a series. So you

have to understand certain things but

we're going to teach the basic concept.

So if you want to solve all these

problems there is a way to do it. It's

fundamental but it's simple but it's

hard. So this is like the cool thing

about like yoga right? So you have these

people like the Buddha who's like hey

here's this thing that you can do to

never suffer again. Just got to do this

thing and you'll never suffer again. And

it sounds unbelievable but I'm going to

teach all about a concept called klisha.

And once you understand klisha, once you

understand the nature of mind, you will

see how all of these problems are

related and they have one basic thing

going on which is like a basic thing

that messes up our life. So means

coloring. We're going to take each of

these things. So this is a lecture about

thought process. This is not some like

clickbaity kind of thing. This is going

to be kind of hard to wrap your head

around, but it's incredibly powerful.

Like this is the fundamental that

they teach when you go stay at an ashram

in India if you go to a good one. So I

want y'all to look at the construction

of this sentence. Therapy takes too

long. So this is the reality. I go to

therapy and then I say it takes too

long. Okay. So never feels good enough.

I did something good. It's not enough.

So the first thing that I want to point

out and this is probably going to be a

little bit confusing is like I'm not

going into the detail of the examples

right that the whole point of yoga is

that actually you don't need to you

don't need to solve any of these

problems what you need to solve is the

pattern or process of thinking itself

and this is where gla comes in so I'm

going to explain klisha okay so in life

stuff happens but when stuff happens our

mind does something really interesting

it adds adds stuff to the stuff that

happened. So, let's use moving the

goalposts. I said to myself, I should

get one A this semester. I got an A.

Then my mind add something else. You

should have gotten two. The reality is I

got what I wanted. I I I achieved what I

wanted. But then the mind comes in and

adds something. So each and every one of

these things for deeper dives into

Eastern psychology, check out HG

memberships. We've now got over 90

lectures on things like ego, karma,

tantra, yungian psychology. And if

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with a 3-day free trial at

healthygamer.gg/memberships.

So, this is what Glisha is in life.

There is a bunch of simple facts. We

live in a world of simple facts. But the

more disturbed our mind is, the more we

add things to it. So even though this is

plain, our mind can add a lot to it or

it can add very little, it can add a

medium amount, it can add a little bit,

it can add a decent amount. It can add a

lot. So I'll give you all an example. I

got dumped by my girlfriend. This is a

fact, right? It has certain

consequences. The reality of the

situation is I have to find a new place

to live. That's a reality. I don't have

anyone to kiss on Valentine's Day. That

is a reality. I'm going to have to start

cooking my own meal. I'm going to have

to figure out how to pay my bills

because we were splitting rent and now I

have to figure out finances. This is the

reality of the situation. The problem is

that after a breakup, I don't live in

reality. I live with Glisha. This means

I'll never be in love again. This means

that now my life is an absolute

financial mess. Everything worked out

with them, but now I don't know what I'm

going to do. I'm like, it's it's not I'm

never going to be able to find a place

to live or I'm going to have terrible

roommates, you know, like I'm going to

be alone for the rest of my life. That

is what your mind adds to the equation.

And if you look at all of these

problems, all of these problems will be

solved. I mean, this is a little bit of

a hyperbole, but like I really kind of

believe this. If you look at all of

these problems, they are what your mind

adds to it, right? So imagine chronic

goalpost pushing. What if you just hit

your goalpost and then it stayed there,

then that problem is solved, right?

Develops high standards day after

starting a new hobby. What if you just

started a new hobby and you understood

the reality of the situation, which is

that hobbies take time to learn. Problem

solved. Hates the therapy takes too

long. What if you realized, okay, if you

look at the science of therapy, it has a

variable duration of effect. Some people

it happens faster, some people happen

slower. This is the reality of the

situation. But it takes too long. How do

you define too long? How does this

person define too long? They define it

by now. Whatever amount of time is too

long, right? So this is really

interesting. One of my mentors is a guy

named Bob Waldinger. And I don't know if

you guys have heard of Bob. He gave a

great TED talk. He's the PI for the

longest running study I think on the

planet, which is the study of human

development. He's a professor at Harvard

Medical School and Bob was looking at

what leads to health and happiness later

in life. They're looking at a bazillion

things. Bob is a great guy, also a Zen

priest. Fascinating, cool dude. That's

why he was my mentor. So, one of the

things that Bob found in the study of

adult human development is that people

who are healthy and happy later in life

have a good way of dealing with

problems. We call this resilience

sometimes, but like fundamentally they

have a way of dealing with adversity,

right? It's like a a fundamental

approach. And if you look at someone

like the impatient man, that's what

they're missing. They don't have a good

way to deal with this stuff. So problems

that are real and challenging become

catastrophic. This is the consequence of

glisha. And it's like I'm playing a game

of Dota 2 in my mid-fed first blood.

That is a challenging situation.

But if I let Glisha run wild, then my

mind will start adding all kinds of

stuff to it. This means that we're going

to lose now. Their mid is fed. They're

going to rotate to my lane. Oh my god,

how can I be with this noob? We start to

tilt. And literally, what is tilt? Tilt

is what your mind adds to the reality of

the situation. That is what tilt is. And

this person fundamentally tilted. tilted

at life. Therapy takes too long. Oh my

god. Right. You're adding negativity

onto whatever. This is gla. And this is

one of those fundamental things where

like if you stop adding things to the

reality of your life, your life will get

better in a thousand different ways. All

of these problems will start to get

better. This is what you learn in India

or what I learned. China, South Korea,

even Hawaii, your ashram down the street

if it's a good one. Glisha coloring. So

I encourage all to examine your life.

Look at the reality of the situation and

look at everything that your mind is

afraid of. Let's look at something like

social anxiety. Social anxiety is all

glisha. It is not the reality of the

situation. It is all of your projections

about the situation. It is. And here's

the problem with glisha. When our klisha

is really bad, we think it's the

reality. This person didn't laugh at my

joke. That means they don't like me. And

that becomes truth. But hold on a

second. So this is how you find klisha.

This person did not laugh at my joke.

That means xyz. That means is the

glitch. The reality is this person did

not laugh at my joke. But if we really

examine it, there is a differential

diagnosis for that. Maybe they weren't

paying attention. Maybe they were on

their phone. Maybe they were distracted.

Maybe they have social anxiety. Maybe

they have ADHD and stopped paying

attention. Maybe their dog is in the

hospital so they're not paying

attention. Could be a thousand things.

But the moment that glitch becomes

reality, that's when we suffer. That's

when we get stuck. And it causes all

kinds of problems because now we

literally start solving those problems.

And now we get really messed up. And the

reason is because we're solving things

that aren't real. If I'm socially

anxious and I'm trying to get people to

like me, but they already like me, do

you guys understand that's an impossible

problem to solve? And I will spend all

of my energy solving impossible

problems. And so now we have another

issue here, which is that the impatient

man, not only do they set all these

negative things in their head, but now

I'm trying to I need to prove my worth.

Oh my god. Speaking of stuff that we can

do lectures about, when you need to

prove your worth to someone else, you

are looking for some kind of response

from them. You're looking for some kind

of validation and you will hunt it all

day long even though they already like

you, but you're looking for this symbol

that will make you feel good on the

inside. And why is that so hard to

accomplish? Because your kisha is adding

stuff to the equation. So when we're

dealing with setbacks, right, there's

the reality of the situation. And this

is where sort of the the adult

development study kind of comes in,

right? So you have to have a way of

dealing with your problem. So when

you're faced with a problem, what is

your path to fix the reality of it? The

psychiatrist will say, "Let's fight the

the phantoms in your head. Let's deal

with each of these things. Let's go

through imposter syndrome, burnout,

chronic goalpost moving, the need, why

is your self-esteem so low?" And I'm not

saying that that isn't useful, right?

Like I do that in my day

job. That's why we have a bunch of

lectures about each of those problems.

Those are worthwhile problems to solve.

But if you look at Patanjali's yoga

sutras, he doesn't talk about how to

solve this problem and this problem and

this problem. He looks at the nature of

how these problems develop in the first

place. Sigman Freud talks about the

content of mind. He also talks about

process. Carl Jung talks about the

content of mind, the content of dreams,

the meaning of what your mind produces.

But Tanjali says, "Let's just bypass all

of that to begin with. We don't really

care. We're just going to see reality as

it is. If we change, if we just remove

mind's influence on reality to begin

with, all of whatever the your mind

has wrong with it becomes irrelevant

because it's not acting on the reality

of the situation. So then the question

becomes, how do we remove gisha? So this

is where there's like kind of two

elements to it. The first is to simply

go through this construction of what is

the reality of the situation and what is

the meaning to me. This is what we do in

psychotherapy, right? What does it mean

to you? When a patient has borderline

personality disorder and someone doesn't

text them back, what does that mean to

them? The reality is this person did not

text you. And the meaning is this person

hates me. And so literally we can see if

we look at pathology, the more severe

your klisha is, the more pathology you

have. Literally, right? So if someone

has BPD, this text means all of this

stuff. And if you don't have this text,

this if you don't have BPD, then this

text means this amount of stuff, which

it can still cause you some suffering.

Still causes some suffering, but it's

not as drastic. It doesn't induce

self-injurious behavior. So the depth of

your kisha is what we call a personality

disorder, right? The association, social

anxiety, heavy kisha. Being a little bit

anxious in a social setting, less

klisha. Fascinating, right? And the

reason I teach this stuff specifically

is because there is a lot of scientific

support for this fundamental idea. And

we even know there's some evidence-based

treatments like things like cognitive

behavioral therapy, acceptance and

commitment therapy where they talk about

something called thought diffusion is an

evidence-based principle of treatment

which is separating the re the the sense

of reality from your thoughts. When

thoughts become facts, that's when you

become ill. Right? So there's good

scientific support for this idea as

well. The difference is that the people

who developed acceptance and commitment

therapy were students of the meditative

tradition and Patanjali was the master.

So he goes to the core of it. But it's

hard to do. So separate the reality from

what you attach to it and simply

acknowledging that this is produced by

my mind and this is the reality of it.

Going through that process. What we see

from studies on thought diffusion and

acceptance and commitment therapy in

some forms of CBT is simply going

through that process fixes half of it.

Super cool. So what is the reality? What

does my mind attach? And then

acknowledge that that is an attachment

of my mind. It's not that it can't be

true. It's that it could be true but it

is not necessarily true. And as we start

solving the phantoms in our mind, we

stop solving the actual realistic

problem and direct your problem-solving

efforts towards that reality. That's

first phase of working with gisha.

Second phase of working with gisha is

simple meditation to absorb yourself in

the reality of an experience. Literally

practice putting your state the your

brain in a state of mind where you are

just with the reality of the experience.

A beautiful meditation for this is

drinking tea. The tea ceremony is the

best meditation for this. I I don't know

if it's the best but I love it because

when you do the the tea drinking

ceremony, it's beautiful. It's like how

do you do the tea drinking ceremony? You

make some tea and you drink it. Okay.

But if you sort of think about it, like

the whole point of the tea ceremony is

like you're thinking about this and

you're thinking about this and then you

like take a sip of the tea and then you

really feel the tea. You feel the taste

of it. You feel the warmth go down your

your your esophagus. You take another

sip. You're ready for you get

distracted. You think about this. You're

like, "Okay, should I take another sip?

Is this enough tea? Should I make more

tea?" But you just sit and you do a

thing and you are just there in the

reality of it. And then you'll notice

that your glitch will pop up. Oh my god,

the tea drinking ceremony is too long.

Dr. K said that the tea drinking

ceremony will help with the kalisha. Is

this helping with the kisha? Am I doing

it right? The reality is you are

drinking tea. The moment that you add,

am I doing it right? That is kisha. So

you literally practice being with

reality practice. And I like the tea

drinking ceremony because

there are so many layers of reality that

can be revealed when you do the tea

drinking ceremony. You can do choou or

whatever you know tradition you want.

And what do I mean by layers of reality?

First there's just the taste of the tea.

Then there is you know I don't know if

you guys know this but the tea drinking

ceremony has like you you have you know

you add multiple rounds of water to the

tea. So you put some amount of tea in

there. There's the first steep which is

let's say 15 seconds, 30 seconds. Then

you do a second steep, a third steep, a

fourth steep. So the tea subtly changes.

And like why do Zen monks do this? Why

do Buddhist monks do this? Because they

absorb themselves in the different

layers of reality. Can I detect the

subtle fluctuations in the flavor of

tea? And the cool thing, this is what's

so cool. When your brain does this, it

rewires. And the cool thing, this is

both the beautiful and terrible thing

about the brain is we carry our wiring

with us. Right? So if I grew up in a

abusive environment, I could have

complex PTSD because even though now I

am safe and now people love me and now

people appreciate who I am, the wiring

of the past carries forward with the

present. This is the beautiful thing

about meditation. When you rewire, it

carries forward into a new reality. And

Badanjali talks about gisha because if

you want to attain enlightenment,

liberation, moka, nirvana, kalya, then

you must eliminate kisha from your mind.

And then theoretically once you

eliminate all kisha, then we get to

other steps. Then you are well on the

path to permanent peace and happiness.

That's the claim, right? We don't really

know. It's not hasn't been

scientifically proven. All we do know is

that there happen to be a handful of

people who seem to understand this stuff

and when they understand this stuff

they're different and people come to

them for guidance and people feel like

they improve their life a huge amount.

That's what we know historically.