Tony Hawk: The Man With The $1.4 Billion Name! Burnout, Obsession & Regrets
2276 segments
I'm either gonna make this or get taken
away on a stretch
it changed my life completely
how could you prepare for anything like
that
Tony Hawk began riding a skateboard when
he was nine years old and when he turned
16 he was the best skateboarder in the
whole wide world
moving the outcast and the outcast
activity I got picked on I got bullied
even when I turned Pro I would leave
high school for a big skate event I'm
signing autographs and then I would come
back and be a ghost in the hallways
again I just wanted to see skateboarding
get more popular but I got famous by
accident suddenly I was a chosen
Ambassador I was making income I owned a
house in my last year of high school so
I was doing talk shows and I was doing
big appearances my video game was a big
hit how much revenue a billion dollars
wow the trajectory just seemed like it
was never going to end and then it
dropped very quickly
I was so hyper fixated on my skating I
didn't really work on my Humanity I was
a machine and I'd go and do the event
and win the trophy go home it didn't
allow me to be myself very much did you
lose people yeah made them feel like
they weren't the priority and a lot of
it was just being afraid of intimacy and
I regret that I started getting burned
down in competition
the term burnout is used a lot these
days what did that experience teach you
about what causes burnout it taught me
that
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foreign
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not sure if you've ever listened to this
podcast before but I'm quite predictable
with how I start these conversations and
I'll I'll be transparent in terms of my
rationale
um when I read about a story like yours
and I read about how much of anomaly you
were in many respects of your life I
always ask the question why and how
where did that begin where did that
start and having
you know read right back into your your
parents history and your history I saw
signs of of that but
seeing as you're here
best place to ask you can you give me
the context that you believe was pivotal
in shaping you to become the person that
you are today
I think early on
I was I was obsessed when I first
started skating
I found something that spoke to me I
found a community of people that were we
were just a bunch of Misfits and
outcasts that sort of
fit together somehow and I loved what
skateboarding brought to me in terms of
my sense of identity my sense of
self-confidence and the creative aspects
around it
I just loved it and all I wanted to do
was
was it as much as possible
um and there was no
there was no end goal there were no
there was no fame or fortune in the
cards because no one had ever had that
from skating even the top skaters
so
what was it it was just an obsession and
um I wanted to do it as best I could
always
even even when I reached the top of the
ranks of competition I still want to get
better
when you say obsessed
um and the way you describe it almost
sounds like it was medicine yeah and in
a lot of ways it was I mean I I was
a smaller kid
um I got we used to call it picked on I
got I got picked on a lot bullied and
um I didn't Excel that much in team
sports I I just kind of was Middle
Ground
um if that and then when I found skating
every time I'd go skate I got better at
it
and it was incremental sometimes almost
immeasurable but I knew that I was
getting I was each time I was improving
and I couldn't say that about any of the
other sports I was doing I got I mean
baseball basketball like yeah sure
sometimes I'd score mostly I wouldn't
but I never felt like oh I'm really
I'm really getting to a different level
of this it was more like I did it
because it was expected of me and every
time I skated I got better every time I
would go to the park
I would learn some little new technique
that would lead me to something else
what was that progression doing for you
on a psychological level
it gave me a sense of purpose
it gave me an outlet for my energy and
my frustrations and it gave my my
parents some
um much needed reprieve from my from
uh my determination
that's my that's my my mom put it uh in
her best way is that
I I was I was difficult I was always
very
thick-headed I wanted to do my things my
way or I wanted to do on my terms and
she said when I found skateboarding I
really found a a directive for that and
um when her friends would say he's such
a nightmare she'd say he's just very
determined
Nancy that is right yep Frank announced
your parents what was what was your home
life like with them
um it was pretty
quiet I don't know I um my parents were
older when I was born so it kind of felt
like I was raised by grandparents
because my dad was 45 my mom was 43.
by the time I was at an age where I was
being very active and doing things they
were they were kind of in retirement
mode
um so and and they I can't say they were
I don't know they they weren't
they weren't close
it was almost like they were just
roommates and so that I I definitely
rubbed off on me in in a lot of ways but
but it just felt like oh this is just a
functional household that's not full of
love necessarily
I'm the youngest of four
um I sometimes wonder whether sometimes
the youngest child of the bunch because
you were the youngest of three right
um the parents almost
think that they've finished with
parenting oh for sure in my case my my
older siblings were all my my brother is
closest he's 13 years older than me
so absolutely they thought they were
done raising children I was I was not
planned and
and I think that my parents were kind of
reaching a winter of their of their
marriage
um even before that or just after I was
born so it was a little icy and I think
that because they were from that
generation they you know those
Generations you just stay together no
matter what and so they did and and
um
it's not like it was it was terrible
like I said just it just wasn't that
warm
I can also relate to not being
necessarily planned was there ever a
were you ever cognizant of that is it
like were you ever aware that has did
that ever have an effect on your psyche
that you weren't planned
at all no I never thought about that
I guess I never I I was never that
deep in my introspection to to worry or
concern myself with that fact I just
knew that I wanted to go skate you were
really um really intelligent kid I read
that your IQ was like 144 or something
yeah maybe at one time
which is which is surprising typically I
think of um a child that has that void
of Independence and how which it sounds
like you had of not necessarily being
the best academically or in terms of
smarts especially if they're distracted
or preoccupied with something like
sports like skateboarding one would
think that Academia intelligence might
fall by the wayside
um no I always relied on that I I was in
the um in the gifted classes uh growing
up and so I was with other kids that
that were of that same elk and
um so I always thought that that my path
would be more
Academia based I you know I I thought
that I would be
I actually thought it was gonna be a
math teacher because I excelled in math
and and I liked helping my friends with
it so I thought oh that that is the
maybe that's my
my trajectory and then when I found
skating it wasn't that my academics fell
by the wayside but it was more that oh
maybe I have something else here
and um it really wasn't until I was in
high school that I realized more of the
potential of that I feel like skating
these days is um still is really cool
now but having read back through your
story it seems like it wasn't as it was
not not at all in fact in my early high
school days I had to hide my I had to I
chose to hide my skateboard in the
bushes behind the school
um because I use it as transportation
and because I would get hassled carrying
it around school
um you know they would they would say
not so nice things as I would walk
stroll by with my skateboard even though
I was starting to find some sense of
success with it I I was actually at that
point uh sponsored I had a company that
was giving me boards that was sending me
to events and even when I turned Pro
which meant that I was had my own
skateboard model it was just not cool
so it was cool in certain sex like I
would I would leave High School I would
go to
for instance Houston for a big skate
event and there's all kinds of skaters
there I'm signing autographs taking
photos and then I would come back from
that weekend and maybe even have won
some some money to go to high school and
be a ghost in the hallways again
that's the kind of dichotomy I was
living
you talked about how the progress was
like a motivating a driving factor that
you know getting incrementally better
every time you did it outside of the
technical aspect of skateboarding what
was the um the value for you
outside of like doing the tricks and
stuff what what what was like filling
you up uh the the culture the community
of it I loved everything about it the I
love the attitude the DIY aspect the the
Renegade
um attitude that you would you have to
hop fences you know to go skate an empty
swimming pool or to a to go skate a a
schoolyard and
and it was just so there was so much
art and creativity involved it was like
any skater it's more most likely they're
gonna play also play music or they're
also going to be artists or or do other
interesting things and so
there was a soundtrack to it it was it
was embedded in in punk music because
that was the same sort of vibe and
attitude that we had and
um it was just more like oh this is this
is my scene this is this is I have the
sense of belonging here and I don't care
if I don't fit in with my classmates or
my peers
so you started you got your first
hand-me-down board at eight years old
uh yeah like nine or ten yeah from your
brother from my brother yeah
and by 12 your
your sponsored um by a sponsored yeah
which which basically meant that I got
free skateboards once in a while it was
right it wasn't some there was no
contractor it wasn't like a million okay
no and then at 14
um I turned Pro but all that really
meant was that
I moved up a category in competition
so there was there was sponsored amateur
and then there was professional and
to be professional just meant that you
were competing for a 100 first place
prize money well at what point did you
realize that you were good
comparatively
um
I think it was
it would have been later on in my pro
career when I started to figure out how
to do these what they called
they used to call them circus tricks but
I like to think they were more
avant-garde
and I would do these these sort of
unique moves that I created but I I
started to learn how to do them more in
the air like at an impressive height and
I think it was around
probably more rounds
16 age 16 when I started to realize like
oh I can do these things
at Heights that is reserved for very few
um and I I can do them on other terrain
besides just my familiar home park
um and I guess that's probably the point
where I felt like I I have something
that is more valid than just
a niche style of skating that only
happens in at my hometown Park
you know when you you think about why
you were able to do that like why you
were incrementally better or you know
significantly better than your peer
group have you ever figured out in terms
of what they call Talent why that is is
it
smart is it physical attributes
um I think it was that
I
I wasn't afraid to step out of my
comfort zone
and I also wasn't afraid to get hurt
along the way
and I accepted that as part of the
process
and I can't say that very many people
did that I mean definitely definitely my
peer group the ones that were skating at
the time they knew what it took to to
get that far and they were willing to
take the hits for it but also I like to
explore other techniques that weren't
comfortable or or maybe that I even
thought were cool because I wanted to
learn everything
and so I would I would start I would go
off on these tangents of trying certain
tricks or a board manipulation and then
lean into that and do every single
variation of that and then move on to
something else and then all of that
started to combine into this trick
repertoire that I that I had that was
that was pretty deep
you know they say when you if you want
to master something you've got to do 10
000 hours yeah sounds like you did a lot
of hours at that at that very I mean at
some point I was probably doing just one
trick ten thousand times
[Laughter]
we say all of this you know you said
later in my pro career and then you said
you were 16.
yeah well my I've had a pretty lengthy
pro career but I would say that around
age 16 is when I started to come into my
own and and was able to shut down any of
the of the pushback or the haters so to
speak because they were all saying oh
he's only good at his home park or he's
only you know he only does these these
goofy little tricks and at some point it
was like you can't really deny that I'm
doing these tricks in the most difficult
circumstances and consistently and so
I had this this run of success in my
late teens that was I thought
unparalleled I mean in terms of suddenly
I was I was making income I owned a
house when I was still in my last year
of high school
from my earnings
and everything's the trajectory just
seemed like it was
it was never going to end and then it it
dropped very quickly in the early 90s
and then I had a good three or four
years were very slow
um and and touch and go in terms of
trying to make a living provide for a
family
um and then things kind of came back
around in the late 90s so when I say
early in my or you know late in my
career there's a few stages of that
in that first stage it's from 16 to uh
about 20 23 23 yeah and at that point I
read that by 16 years old you were the
best in the world you were widely right
uh I I had why I was ranked number one
for a while yeah
um and It's Tricky though I mean I I
don't like I don't like saying that just
because skating is is subjective and
it's apples to oranges so
who's the best that's all in the guys
the beholder I did well in competition I
I got good scores and I had a good run
I mean I think you're slightly
underplaying that because I you know I
was reading through some stats and I
read that 16 you were widely regarded as
the best skateboarder in the world and
by 25 you'd won 73 of the 103
professional contact contests you'd
entered finishing in second place a
further 19 times
which is for me pretty freakish I yeah I
mean like I said I had a good run but
also it's a specific style so I was
skating uh pools and half pipes
um and then in the early 90s Street
skating came into its own and what you
see today with people jumping downstairs
on handrails Ledges and things like that
that was just starting to Blossom
and I realized pretty early on that that
was not my strength and that my
um ratio of success to injury was much
higher doing that so I I kind of I kind
of gave it up I was in it for a while I
was skating some of the competitions and
I was doing a lot of Tours and things
and then at one point I was driving home
from a tour
um I had sprained one ankle almost to
the point of breaking it but somehow
didn't and then in the process of
nursing that one I was still skating
because we were on tour I I rolled the
other ankle trying to save this ankle
and then I'm driving home with these
with these uh with ice on both ankles
with a car full of of skaters and in
that moment I thought I can't keep doing
it this way like this this is not
sustainable I'm not going to be able to
be a pro skater much longer if I'm if I
think I'm gonna
do this type of skating and so I'm gonna
stick with more of the half pipe which
which is what I know even though that
wasn't the popular way of skating I just
knew that if I wanted to keep skating
into my adult life I was gonna have to
stick with with my expertise
and I'm right in thinking from what
you've said there that your skating
career started to really take off you
know 15 16 kind of Peaks at one point at
around that 23ish I would say around 21
22 is when it started to Peak yeah and
at what point in that Journey did you
think I'm gonna Escape professionally
perform the rest of my life was there a
point where you go this is a job now you
never no um in fact when I was uh 24 is
when I started my company birdhouse and
I honestly thought starting a company
was my way of of sort of bowing out of
the spotlight and not being a so-called
professional skater because there was
there were very there was very little
opportunity for me as a half pipe or
vert skater to be doing anything and I
was trying to nurture a group of skaters
that were mostly Street and trying to
give them
New Opportunities and trying to uh
have them promote our company as well so
I thought that I was curating a team and
I was going to be sort of the ringleader
of it but not be considered a pro myself
I never quit skating though that was
that was just in my blood and so at some
point
a few years later
things start to pick up again the X
Games happened
um they had a they had a half pipe
contest and I was still on top of my
game
so after that I started to compete a lot
more because the interest grew and then
I was I was winning a lot of events it's
we we don't often think it's possible
for a sport to kind of experience a
downturn right commercial downturn like
thinking about the big Sports of today
the NBA basketball whatever it be the
thought that it could kind of have an
economic downturn and put the athletes
out of business for a while is kind of
inconceivable for me so I mean most of
most of my peers quit
in the 1990s because yeah or or quit or
not
I can't say quit most of them found jobs
because so what what happened in the
skating industry the commercial side of
the business
there was a few things I think that
skating had gone through Cycles in the
past in the late 70s skating was the new
fad it was like the if for especially in
the US was like the yo-yo and it's the
new toy and it's a transportation and
you can do all these things and then and
then that that fad kind of faded out and
then in the 80s it became this thing
because we were skating the empty pools
and there was this attitude and the
music and the hairdos and the graphics
and then it and Back to the Future and
so that was another spike in popularity
and a lot of skate parks were opening in
those days and I think in the late 80s
the liability became too much for these
Escape facilities and they just started
closing very quickly I mean there was
just a toppling of of skate parks
through I would say 89 to 91 and then
there was no place to do it because
there were no public parks these all
these facilities are private there were
a few but they were not good it
um and so all these private Parks were a
closing shop and then we had the skaters
had nowhere to go
so that's when skating took to the
underground and became more
street-centric
your dad was working in the industry as
well he was in the in the 80s yeah he he
helped to form the national skateboard
Association which sanctioned most of the
events through those years
how did how did he get into
skateboarding
he saw he saw me and and he saw how much
I loved it and he saw a very a serious
lack of organization
um and he was always very supportive of
his kids I mean my brother was a surfer
he would drive him to the beach at dawn
to to get the good ways my my sister was
in a band he would he would be the
Roadie for the band and drive all their
gear to the gigs so when I started
skating he was all in on supporting it
but he saw that it was just sort of
chaos there were there was very little
organization there were very few events
and he saw a group of kids like me that
loved it and had very little support
it's been quite entrepreneurial about
that about your dad founding them yeah I
don't I don't he never did it he never
really got paid so you know to think
that it was entrepreneurial it was it
was more altruistic than anything
did that create a conflict of interest
if or like it was hard yeah it was
absolutely difficult for me in those
years because I was doing well
and then there was uh there were uh
claims of nepotism
um there was a lot of animosity and it
was uncomfortable for me because my dad
was always there and I was doing well
so it would be one thing if I wasn't
skating that well if I was just sort of
mid-range
um but I think that all of that just
drove me to get better and prove
everyone wrong I mean I I'd like to say
that
I didn't I didn't enjoy it but it
definitely lit a fire
it's interesting when when people attack
you in such a way or they try and
discredit you especially when you're of
course only when you're doing well
it can evoke a series of responses in
you yeah I I was under a lot of pressure
and a lot of accusations like that and
um
I just kind of put my head down and just
focused on my skating until
until I shut him up
um but even then it was
it was always tricky you know it was
like that then my dad he got out of it
um and not long after that he got sick
and passed away in lung cancer
um but
then the X Games came around and like I
said I was still on top of my game and
then I was the I was sort of the one
they were focusing on because my name
had resonated from the previous
generation and then I was I was doing
well in competition so then the other
skaters were accusing me of hogging the
spotlight I I'm I'm not choosing the
programming here
and so that was tricky too but I I think
I learned so much from my early days of
of sort of being the outcast and the
outcast activity that that it you
weren't really gonna I I had sort of
built up a resilience to all that
but it's still difficult right like the
outcast and the outcast activity oh yeah
I felt very isolated yep
in real that's the word isolated but in
real terms what does that look like for
a young man who's doing something that
he loved he's got really [ __ ] good at
it so now there's they're pointing the
camera at him there's all this
commercial pressure what impact does
that have on on the love for it
well luckily I had been doing it for so
long at that point and had seen it come
and go that
I was excited in the sense that
skateboarding was going to get a new A
Renewed interest
and if I was the conduit to that then
I'll accept it I wasn't trying to get
all the glory I just wanted to see
skateboarding
be more accessible and get more popular
and so at some point
I don't want to say that anyone
appointed me but but it was definitely I
was this chosen ambassador
to skateboarding
um because I could I could do interviews
and I could speak on behalf of skating
at its core but also to a mainstream
audience to make them understand why
skating could be valid or why it would
be a positive influence on their kids
the one of the reasons you gave for why
you love skateboarding and why it filled
you up originally was because of that
camaraderie though and isolation seems
to be kind of the opposite of um I I was
isolated in the sense that the the
hardcore skaters the older generation
didn't support me didn't want anything
to do with me but I did have my crew I
mean it wasn't completely isolated it
was I had a few friends that we all had
the same sense of of values and the same
sort of directives for skating so
um I would bounce ideas off of them and
we would come up with with tricks
together sometimes sometimes it was just
something that they were asking me to do
um but but that sent some camaraderie is
what I'm talking about
um but it was very it was a very limited
crew and yeah I mean I was I chose to do
this Outcast activity as a kid already
separating me from my classmates my
peers kids my age they're like
skateboarding's so lame why are you
doing that
then I choose a skateboard my style of
skateboarding is not cool it's
considered a circus like I'm just a
circus freak doing these little
uh baton Twirls with my skateboard
so then I'm cast aside from the
skateboarding community
and that that's what became
that became isolating
but
that all that stuff just would fuel me
to to get better
and I I didn't
it's not like I'm thankful for it but I
accepted it and I went out to prove
myself
I am I I sat with a motivation
psychologist called Daniel pink and he
was telling me one of the they did these
studies on people in terms of trying to
figure out how their motivation
fluctuates and he found that when people
get paid for something that was once a
hobby their love and motivation for it
declines which I thought was really
paradoxical I wouldn't expect when you
get paid to do a hobby you'd expect
motivation to increase I agree with that
except that
when I got into skateboarding no one was
getting paid
no no one was getting accolades no one
was getting attention
and so I never aspired to that and what
I see now is I see I do see kids that
get into skateboarding with the notion
that they will get rich or famous or and
or famous
and if they get any sense of fame or
Fortune they lose their motivation so I
agree with you in that sense but if
you're getting into a an activity a
sport an art form or whatever that has
not been established and it's not there
there's no clear path to success I feel
like your motivation is always just to
get better at it
and and
the money and and the fam and everything
that's all incidental to just being able
to keep doing it did you did you love
for ever fluctuate
um only when
I started getting burned out in
competition
um sometime around 1988 89 uh I was
doing really well in the events
and it started to become repetitive for
me
I would go to an event I'd have to I'd
have to hide new tricks from my my
competitors and from the judges because
at some point the judges were giving me
scores based on what they thought I
could do not compared to everyone else
in the event but just what they thought
I was capable of so if I came to an
event with some new tricks and they saw
me doing those new tricks in practice
and I didn't do them in my competition
runs I would get marked down
based on what they thought you know
based on judging me against myself
and that was fine like I accepted all
that but it was more that that
it got repetitive it started to get
it started to suck the fun out of it
because I was just this machine like
this competitive machine and my
competitors who I thought were my
friends who I still do
were very much
under the impression that oh well Tony's
just gonna win so we're hoping for
second and they would tell me that
and they thought that that was a
compliment to me to me it was just it
was crushing because it just meant that
that somehow they were separating me
from the pack and the the crew that I
loved like the I I love the the
camaraderie of the team and and the
camaraderie of all the skaters and it
was like they're just pushing me out
from that because they think that I'm on
a different
level or playing or whatever it was and
and I'd as much as you you think that's
a compliment it wasn't
the term burnout is used a lot these
days
um people use it in in their jobs in
works and in hobbies and such what what
um what did that experience teach you
about what causes burnout
um
well it it taught me that even if you're
doing what you love it's not always
going to be enjoyable
um because of the pressure of success
because of the self-imposed pressure
that you put
um but
what it did teach me was the value
of letting go
and when I let go of that even as hard
as it was because my my sponsors were
saying if you quit competing you're out
there was no other path to success in
skateboarding you couldn't make a living
on YouTube on social media you know a
reality show whatever it was it was just
your competition rankings that was it
that's what you're that's what your
success was and they they told me you
know what are you gonna do how do you
expect to make a living and I was like I
don't know but I can't keep going this
direction and what happened was when I
was when I was removed from it
I started to appreciate
the process of learning new tricks more
I started to appreciate the idea that I
could be more creative and take more
chances and at some point I I missed
competing but I had to sort of discover
that Within Myself
on my own terms and then when I came
back to competing
I let go of the idea of perfection I let
go of the idea that I had to do the best
every single time and I took way more
chances and sometimes it didn't work
sometimes I didn't make the finals but
when I did make the finals I was doing
it on a level that I was proud of I
wasn't
I wasn't phoning it in so to speak I
wasn't being conservative with with my
my Approach
and that became much more fun
it was more risky but when it would work
it was something that I was much more
proud of
is there is there is there a um I
sounded a lot to me like you're you
built this identity because you've been
so successful and you almost had to kind
of decouple from that identity which
always feels like a big risk to people
in their jobs yeah it was but but uh it
was either that or quit quit altogether
because it was really Weighing on me it
was real it was very difficult
when you say very difficult what does
that mean in in Practical terms you mean
like sleepless nights or
yeah and and
dreading
events
going going to an event and and dreading
it I mean it's it's almost like Pink
Floyd The Wall it's just I was building
a wall around everyone around myself and
and Performing was just obligatory
because everyone expected me to do it
everyone expected me to do well to to
win the event whatever it was and there
was no
celebration in that there was no
there was nothing that that made me feel
elated it was just it was I was a
machine and I'd go and do the event and
and win the trophy get the prize money
and go home
and then go skate and go try to learn
new tricks
that was the fun part
but really what I was doing was just
trying to prepare for the next event
which is probably another in a week or
two away
is
um
it's quite surprising but it's a story
that I've heard over and over again this
idea that your success almost
disconnected you from
from some it disconnected you from
others and probably from yourself in
many respects and I think I think about
this a lot how when you become
successful you can you need to be
careful that you don't get disconnected
along the way there's lots of Temptation
with talent to disconnect yourself
um whether you're a lawyer and you've
just been good at being a lawyer and you
end up 20 15 years down the line and you
go what the [ __ ] am I doing here and who
have I become or you're a pro
skateboarder and you kind of drift away
from
from the essence of what makes us feel
connected
oh for sure and I saw I saw plenty of my
peers I think one one thing that saved
me is that I loved the skating so much
that I saw my peers get distracted with
partying
with the excess and they would start to
lose their motivation and their and
their skill sets and I recognized that
very early on and thought I don't want
to go down that road because the skating
is too important to me this I want to
keep performing at a top level
um and
for sure I had my I I had my
distractions through my through my life
and and through my adult my adult years
but
um but skating was always such a high
priority that that I never lost that
did you have to you talked about you've
seen some of your friends at that time
go down the wrong path because because
of Temptations yeah did you ever notice
yourself drifting down that path
um yeah I think it was more the when I
got caught up in the fame of it all in
um more in the late 90s early 2000s when
my video game was a big hit and suddenly
I was not just doing skate events I was
doing talk shows and I was doing big
appearances and and getting caught up in
that level of Fame is very disorienting
and I could see myself
I could see myself
falling into that where it's like well
I'm now I'm a celebrity
and now I will go to the Red Carpet
Events and do the you know and the clubs
and all that and I I definitely indulged
a bit in that but at some point
recognize that this is just not what I
want to be doing and this is not
this is not not as fun as skating
and and these are not the people I
really identify with
I mean a lot of the people that I saw
through those years especially at the
big events and stuff they they all they
really wanted was to be famous
and at some point I I got famous by
accident
and it's not necessarily what I wanted
and at some point I took inventory of
that and I realized that I don't really
care
you know what I mean like I don't I
don't care if I don't get into this VIP
thing whatever it is like take it or
leave it
I am when I got a little bit of money I
think I ha my insecurities meant that I
had to have certain beliefs fail me
before I learned them so I was the kid
that went to like got a little bit of
money started going to the nightclubs
buying all the champagne
leaves you feeling fairly Hollow after a
while if you're paying attention
absolutely yeah I mean that's the thing
is I just felt
especially in through those years when I
was going through the the fire of of
celebrity culture
I never felt fulfilled and you'd wake up
in the morning it's like what what was
that
what good and also it was it was
distracting me from my own kids and I
think that that's really what what made
me want to make a positive change in my
life is that I felt like I was not I was
not told I was there but I wasn't really
available emotionally to my children
um as much as I could be because I was
so distracted with all this other noise
and
um I I pulled it around I mean I was
able to
get back get be more connected
um just be part of what they were doing
even on a more basic level and that to
me is way more fulfilling it is I mean
that's just you know I could
I could wax poetic but it I do feel like
I I feel so much more
confident and fulfilled and excited
about all those things to see my kids
um to see my kids thrive
than to care about
getting invited to the Oscars uh
sometimes in my life anyway my partner's
been the person to point that out before
I've noticed it in myself so my
girlfriend will notice that I may be
losing my way a little bit in terms of
priorities and it'll require her
feedback to tell me
that I'm losing my way a little bit for
me to really notice it in myself do you
resonate with that at all
um I
I would say yes if you were asking me
five ten years ago but now I do see it I
see it myself it's I'm I'm much more
cognizant of it in my own choices and
it is wild I mean I never imagined that
I'd be a pro skater of past 20 honestly
because when you were
when you were my when you were a kid
skating in my era all the once you reach
an age of responsibility you had to quit
because no one could make it wasn't
anyone's job right so to be skating in
my 20s and then into my 30s was wild it
was I mean I was in Uncharted Territory
but I was still getting better at it and
then when I reached my 40s it was like
really still you guys still think this
is okay for me to do and not that
I was looking for that in that kind of
approval
but it was kind of a surprise and also I
kept getting better at it in those years
and then to be doing it in my 50s is
just like
a a lucid dream it's crazy that
um it's funny I kind of went through the
fire it was like when I was a kid it was
like oh you're pretty good for your age
and then when I got in my 30s and 40s
like you still skate like haven't you
grown out of it and now when I'm in my
50s it's like hey you're pretty good for
your age
when was your um when do you if you look
back on your years of in terms of
technical ability when was your
professional
Peak or is it now
oh uh I think it was in my
probably in my mid to late 30s and early
40s because that's when I was still
doing
all of my high impact high risk moves
but combined with highly technical moves
so I kind of had I had the the gamut of
of of the skating in terms of being able
to
do the big stuff
um the dangerous stuff and also the very
the very technical stuff and so as I've
moved into my Twilight years I don't
know what you call this but I've learned
to to focus more on the technical
because it's it's more low impact and it
keeps me keeps me healthy for the most
part I mean I am I am nursing uh I'm
still recovering from a broken femur
last year but even that has taught me
that
I still love doing this and I still love
it even if I'm not going to be
at the the top of the game or or if I'm
even gonna be
on video or or doing it in front of
people I still want to do it
um and I still love it but like I said
I've I've sort of
focused my energy more into the
technical moves and and I would say the
tricks that I was learning before I got
hurt were more appreciated by skaters
themselves they weren't going to move
the needle on X Games or anything
to get to your level in any industry if
you were advising a kid that's maybe an
artist a DJ whatever when you look back
on what it takes to get there what are
the like core components of that level
of Mastery and success and like do that
you must have sometimes think like like
why me
because you know
living such an anomalous life and
becoming number one in anything I think
I've seen it over and over again where
people start to ask themselves the
question like an existential question
like
uh sure yeah I every day but um I think
to to answer your question
the focus it takes is is pretty intense
to get to do especially what I do
um for so many years
and also I think that
the ability to
to to listen and to take cues or
inspiration from others around you in
terms of inspiring or influencing what
you do
and I don't mean like I'm not saying
like borrowing or stealing Styles or
anything I'm talking about just being
open to oh that's that's a new way to do
it and and even collaborating with
people what if we tried this or maybe
you did that and and
um not just living in your own in your
own bubble
um because some people tend to do that
they they have their way they have they
have they found what how they succeed
how they keep moving forward and they
stay in that lane they stay in that
bubble and sometimes that works but for
the most part you can only go so far
with it and you've got to start to sort
of Branch out and see what else is there
in terms of your chosen
activity sport art whatever it is
um and I I love that idea that I'm
getting out of my comfort zone
and trying something weird and it's
probably not going to work right away
and it's probably going to be super ugly
when I finally do it but I'm gonna get
to a point where it's more natural
do you what's the balance between
learning the rules of the trade I how
it's already been done and learning to
do it your way I always think this to
become great you need to like be the
best at how it's done now or do you need
to like add a little sprinkle of
yourself well I luckily skating is so
subjective that
adding your own Flair to it is always
encouraged
and so for instance there's some tricks
basic tricks that
you know 80 of professional skaters can
do this one trick but if you take a
picture of one of them and put it on
Silhouette I can tell you who it is
because everyone has their own style of
it
and what makes for a good style
subjectively it's I'd say it's sort of
the flow of the move from start to
finish including when you're before you
even leave the ground
or the or the ramp or whatever it is you
know that you make it look like one one
fluid motion and that you can
twist it torque it a little differently
and then someone else
but stay in control
that's what it's about I it's it it's
really hard to convey
and some of that has to be
like you know
Talent I'm struggling with the word
talent but some of it uh nature of a
nurture yeah sure
everyone has their own different body
types and their own thing but but you
can see influences like
for instance
um
we haven't we have this uh girl on our
team Rhys Nelson she's very young but
she skates for ramps and you can tell
who she skates with by her trick
selection
because she's influenced by the the
certain skaters that she's with and and
some of them have very specific moves
that that are associated with them
and like she just learned from those
slides all right I'm just I'm gonna go
down into the weeds for you show their
Kip knob slides which is a signature
move of a skater named Colin McKay and I
and I literally said have you been
skating with Colin she said yeah he
comes here in the morning sometimes and
skates with me
it's like there it is interesting
when I when you speak to Surfers they
talk about how surfing's like a metaphor
for life
and they like Wax lyrical about you know
what that metaphor is is skating a
metaphor for Life uh it can be sure I I
think the the value of
not giving up the value of believing in
yourself and the value of
of
working through your own challenges
I think that's probably the the biggest
metaphor and for me
um what I learned from it is also the
value of taking risks
you know in the greater sense uh of
becoming a businessman
I wasn't afraid to take risk skating I'm
not afraid to take risks in business
the value of not giving up and taking
risks I had you spent 12 years trying to
master one particular trick yes called
the 900 which I think I did on the on
the video game back in the day when I
was when I was younger which is like a
two and a half two and a half spin yeah
two and a half spin trick and it took
you you tried for 12 years
off and on yes
um from the first time I tried it had
anyone done it before you no
um yeah that was a battle
um so I learned seven twenties in 1985.
and the next stage of progression for
that in terms of spinning and for
skating would be 900 the the
what makes it so much more difficult is
that you're blind to your Landing Zone
twice when you do a 900. when you do a
540 or even a 720 you're only blind to
your Landing Zone once
and when you pass it twice it's very
hard to spot where you should be or to
even know uh spatially where you are so
it took me the first probably five years
of attempts just to figure out where I
was in the air and when I say five years
I'm not talking about like every day it
was more I would I would get fired up
I'd had a good session or I was skating
a really good ramp and then I would try
a couple and they always ended in some
sort of injury you know it was very hard
to get out of it safely
um I broke my rib one time when I really
thought I had it
but once I figured out that spinning
then I started to explore okay how do I
get the landing and that's when I
started actually pursuing it I would say
more in like the years of 94 to 96 I was
actively trying it regularly and when I
finally thought that I had it I put it
down and then I I broke my rib because I
was leaning too far forward and
in that moment
I kind of gave up on it
that was in 96. because I thought I had
all the pieces to it I I had
every element I had in my head I I had
it was the it was the right take off it
was right setup is the right Spin and
apparently I can't figure out how to how
to land it properly so fast forward to
1999
um they're having a best trick event at
the X Games and halfway into the event I
did my best trick
which I had planned that I had only done
once before and it was a variation of a
720 it was it was a very old 720.
so I did that trick and then I had 10
minutes left of this event
I don't know where else to go from there
except try what the next trick that I
would like to do which is a 900
um and
when I started trying it
I'd say the first few attempts I just
did for the crowd it was more like this
is
this is my next state or this is what's
next maybe it's not for me but you know
this is what I would like to see done
and then somewhere around my fourth or
fifth try I realized that
I'm always getting the right amount of
speed my my snap is good the snap is the
take off when you actually leave the the
top of the ramp and grab your board
because a lot of times the snap is if
that's off it's tragic
my snap was good I can see the landing
Zone and I thought you know what if I'm
ever going to try to land this again
it'll be tonight
and if I break a rib so what like I'm
either gonna make this or get taken away
on a stretcher those are the only two
outcomes
um and then when I did finally try to
make it somewhere around the I don't
know ninth or tenth attempt
I fell forward again but I didn't get
hurt
and something
there was something clicked
in my head that said
why not shift your weight to your back
foot
during the spin
and then try to land it and for some
reason I never had
I never had that Clarity because when I
would go to try to make it I'd get hurt
and I'd have to go home
so in this particular instance I didn't
get hurt so I thought okay what if I
shift my weight towards the back and
then I shift my weight towards the back
and I fell backwards and that was the
epiphany
because
all I have to do is split the difference
and then I made the next one
all they have to do is put the
difference I mean so muggle like me you
make it sound easy what was that moment
like
it was just a big relief I mean it was
it was it was definitely a highlight of
my skate career of my of my
um competitive career but for me it was
just this weight lifted from me because
it had always sort of
hung on me that oh 900 it's got to be
possible and there were a few of us
chasing it there were other skaters that
were getting pretty close to it too
um but no one had figured out how to
ride away
once you've done it once was it easy to
repeat easier to repeat yeah it took a
while for me to do a second one
and then after I did my second one then
I could do it pretty regularly
and at this time you've got this deal
with Activision bubbling bubbling away
at that time we had been working on a
video game for about a year and a half
so there was definitely a crazy Synergy
perfect storm in that moment because I
did that trick that Drew a lot of
attention to obviously me but uh but not
just me but skateboarding in general and
the X Games and then that was in June
and then we released uh
what became Tony oxpro skater in
September
wow and I was watching the video of you
saying that you you called the guy
Activision to ask him to include the 900
trick it never stopped yeah I I emailed
him yeah that's a good story I I emailed
uh neversoft the next day and I said hey
I did this thing
um and I think that people are gonna
expect to see it in the game now and I
know we didn't animate a 900 but I feel
like if you guys have time to squeeze it
in and we were already in beta with the
game which meant that we were going to
submit it to the console manufacturers
and once you do that you cannot edit it
you can't alter it
um and I remember
Joel who was the the head of never
stopped he emailed me back right away
and he said way ahead of you you [ __ ]
rule
and then they got it in
I mean and the rest is history right I
guess I hoped I like to think I'm still
creating it you know your father Frank
he'd been such an avid huge supporter of
you up until that point but he didn't he
didn't get to live to see
the real all of this stuff after you
were sort of 27 28 years old right no he
he saw the first X Games right and to
him that was as big as things could ever
get because
he was a big sports fan not just you
know obviously he loved skateboarding
but he also loved team sports
and
um for him to see skateboarding on the
sports network that was for him the
coming of age
gosh I bet he couldn't have imagined
no I mean and to think that it's gone on
to be
such a a beloved sport internationally
and in the Olympics I mean all that is
is just beyond
what he would have imagined do you has
every question have you ever wished that
he could have seen the what would happen
with your career professionally but also
in business
I'd rather
to see
the rise of skateboarding in general
because he was so integral in keeping it
alive
at a time when it was struggling
um
through through sanctioning events
so I mean sure my own success yeah but
but I do feel like on a on a bigger
scale
in more lofty terms just the success of
skateboarding is something that
that
he would have been very proud of
that that video game deal we all get
emails and these emails often contain
opportunities and sometimes we look at
these emails we're trying to figure out
if it's an opportunity or not sometimes
it looks like an opportunity sometimes
it's a waste of time sometimes it's just
someone yeah wanting a meeting to pick
your brain about something
um as you reflect on your decision now
in hindsight to proceed with that video
game was there any close calls
there was another group doing a game
that had contacted me
and I
um
I went down the road with them a little
bit
and realized that what they were trying
to do was so much more
um how to how to explain it it was more
technically difficult to play
because they were trying to truly
emulate skating
and I felt like
I understood that approach but at the
same time Skating wasn't that big
when we released this game or when we
were going to release this game and
I wanted something that would be more
friendly to the non-skater to play to
understand to be able to just pick up
and start doing tricks and when I saw
what Activision had they had a very
they had a very early version of a
skater doing tricks
the way it moved and and to me it was it
was
intuitive
it was perfect it was like right away I
started playing it I started doing
tricks it was almost like it was it was
an extension of of my body to start
doing this on that screen with that
skater and it's something
innately felt right about it to me
and so uh was there a close call
I would say if Activision maybe had
called me a month or two later I might
have already linked a deal so
um but I felt very lucky on the
commercial front I read that you'd been
offered a kind of a flat check
in well it when they were close to
launch of the game
they started to sense that there was
Buzz about it it was already getting
good reviews from from previews of the
the game Publishers I mean not the the
magazine Publishers so
they knew they had a good game overall
and they felt this this surge of
interest and so they offered me a buyout
of future royalties right before the
game launched
um which at the time it was they offered
me a half million dollars and they said
you know I said what does that mean they
said well that that's you get that right
now and then no money going forward
and for me having lived through some
really lean times
when they say a half million dollars to
me it sounds like a billion gazillion
dollars I mean it would no one had ever
spoken those types of numbers to me
before
um but I felt like I was in a pretty
good place I was I was doing well
in other ways I was I was still skating
a lot I was doing events I was um I had
good endorsements I was I was doing we
had birdhouse was starting to actually
be profitable my skate company and I had
just bought a new house with a with a
not you know I had a loan but my loan
was manageable and I thought I'm gonna
take a risk because
I'm doing okay and I don't need that
money right now
and even the timing of that like if it
had been just a few months before that
when I was looking at houses maybe I
would have
taken that
um but I I didn't and that was
definitely the best financial decision
of my life
because that game was a success to say
that one and then the ones after it and
the ones after it yeah how does one that
might not understand the scale of that
success quantify in a in a dollar amount
how many
how much revenue Tony Hawk Pro skates
are generated in its in its Legacy I I
mean I know that they they talk about a
billion dollars for Activision
um you know my take is not that
grandiose but I am never going to
complain it changed my life completely
a billion dollars they they generated in
sales
that that was that was always there
they're a big buzz yes
so much I mean so much happens obviously
that that makes you financially
free
um for you know
but also you're you become like
the Michael Jordan of skating you are
you know I I was playing you on my video
game on the other side of the world when
I was
how old was I I'm gonna say eight
yes you know you become This Global icon
of a sport and it's funny because I
didn't know skating before I knew the
video game
the video game was my way into to uneven
understanding that the sport existed and
I would play with my brothers that's a
that's going from zero to a thousand in
terms of no time for sure and and
um
that was never lost on me I mean I I
felt very lucky to have my name
synonymous with a video game and with
skateboarding uh because I had devoted
my life to it were you prepared for that
no
no how could you prepare for anything
like that
there's no way I mean it it's it
to have that kind of success especially
in video games is reserved for someone
like Madden
or
Call of Duty or Grand Theft Auto I mean
it's you know to have it be your name
was wild and and
nowadays I mean we've come a long way we
did a remaster a couple years ago
there is a whole generation of of kids
I'm not kidding that have asked me if I
was named after a video game foreign
wow
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what would you what advice would you
have given yourself if you could have to
prepare yourself
if you could just whisp it in your ear
um I think I would have I would have
told my younger self to
work on
work on your state of mind and your
priorities
um
with with equal effort as you do your
skating
I was so hyper fixated on my skating and
getting better at my success in skating
that
um I didn't really work on my Humanity I
mean in terms of my relationships and
and being present and and
maybe that's what it took to get that
far but I think I would just tell my
younger self like
to to figure out figure out how to
function more as a human than just a
professional did you lose people
yeah
um and also gained people through
through my
um
changes and through my through finding
my priorities and I mean honestly like
I'm in a incredible place I'm happier
than I've ever been and I have much
better relationships with my kids even
though most of them are adults and
I'm just more reliable
what is um what is skating without the
relationships like what is skating for
you so if you were to if I was to take a
you can escape forever you can carry on
doing your skating but I'm gonna take
away
the family and the meaningful
relationships what does life become then
um that doesn't sound as fun
foreign
it's
not the end-all for me anymore I love it
and I'm going to keep doing as long as I
can and probably still push myself in a
lot of ways but
that is compartmentalized and it's when
I do it I'm all in on it and I'm doing
it and then I leave it there
I'm not just obsessing on it the rest of
the day I am I've I was speaking to a I
think a neuroscientist on this podcast
who told me that the brain actually
changes as we as we age up until about
30 where I think for a male it roughly
stops changing when we get to 30 I think
he he said to me
um and with that our priorities changed
so in our early 20s we're like trying to
get laid and like trying to do the
things that whatever and then as we get
into our 30s and and beyond our
priorities in life shift
um did you notice with age your priority
shift or was it the children
um
I think I just noticed that I was stuck
in a cycle
of compulsive behaviors
and something that that I didn't enjoy
and didn't feel like it was helping me
to have good relationships with my
family with my kids and I think I just
took inventory and thought I gotta make
a a positive change and so it wasn't it
wasn't like my brain was changing and I
figured you know it was more that I had
to go get help lean into
therapy figure out how to process all
these things and how to how to move
forward in a much more
congruent way with my values and
I was able to do it it took a while but
it was more into my 40s that that
happened
what did what did therapy help you to
realize about about yourself and why you
were exhibiting compulsive behaviors
did you ever figure out why
um yeah I think a lot of it was just
being afraid of intimacy and a lot of
that I'm not blaming my parents but
definitely I didn't have great examples
of it growing up
so
um I had to figure that out and and and
how well how to be vulnerable I think I
was always very guarded
you and me both
it was I mean and also in those days of
having this sort of unwanted attention
made me more guarded because it was like
oh I can't
do any I can't say the wrong thing or do
the wrong thing and and it didn't allow
me to be myself very much and and I
think I'm much more comfortable in my
own skin now and able to
able to to hold a more interesting
conversations
do you've got children now so do you you
know I often think about like
generational Cycles I think about the
like the intimacy or the emotional
expression that I didn't learn from my
parents and like an uh fear that I have
had hanging over me is that I might
replicate that for my children sure
accidentally yeah and and I I
was definitely worried about that like
my dad never
never said I love you never professed
that kind of thing or or was warm in
that sense and so that was more my
example to live by and and through the
years and I was I was very much kind of
the same and
um at some point
let go of that
I still struggle with it now yeah you
know it's it's funny I again I've spoken
to lots of just sort of childhood
therapists Gabel mate and um they talk
about like these different types of
traumas that we have in one of them is
called goblins near this Gremlins and he
talks about how goblins are usually
before the age of 10 years old and
they're very very hard to shake so they
always kind of
live there somewhere in us so even
sometimes saying being intimate now or
being vulnerable or saying I love you
it's like it's difficult
for me
I get that it's uncomfortable yes I'm
I'm starting to get much more at ease
with it though with practice
with practice Yeah
and running the experiment I guess
yeah and also I see I see how it makes
my kids feel
it makes them feel seen and and loved
and and important
and it's particularly important as I've
come to learn if you want to have a good
relationship with a woman or man but
yeah
my girlfriend is very much the opposite
in terms of intimacy so it's kind of
it's an ongoing friction
what role has um your your wife played
in the broader context of your
professional success
just a a feeling of well she's she's
just so grounded and she gives me a
sense of home
and she is very supportive but also has
her priorities intact so
when in in deciding what to get involved
with she's my sounding board
um and and she's the one who I trust the
most with her opinion and
um
and she understands that that I am
challenged in terms of my sense of
intimacy and and how to navigate
fatherhood and she has been so great in
opening that up for me
um and helping to show me the the best
way to navigate it
um
and just the
she's not swayed by
fanfare
at all
at all she could do away with it all
together
um and I love that and and I cherish
that
I guess that's what makes you feel like
home right that all the noise oh yeah
it's outside yeah absolutely I mean if
you catch us on a Saturday night we're
and a lot of times like our a couple of
our boys are in college one of them's in
college up here in La one of we have
many children so
let's just say that sometimes they'll
come home for the weekend and as much as
we like seeing them if you catch us on
Saturday night they're downstairs
watching UFC fights with their homies
and we're upstairs hiding from everyone
and we're asleep by 9 pm that's pretty
much our big raging weekend
you know after you become the the icon
of a sport
um what does that do to your sense of
identity and I I I'm asking that
question because now everyone assumes
they know you before they've met you
they kind of see you as this character
from a game
I think uh what you see is what you get
with me
I'm I'm not trying to present some other
persona and like I said in the past
maybe I was more guarded with who I was
or or how I was trying to be and now I I
think I'm just more much more natural
and much more real and
um this is it you know I'm super
thankful for what I get to do
I do not take this for granted at all
and I know it could all be gone tomorrow
um but I'm going to seize opportunities
and do the best I can with it and and in
the meanwhile try to promote
skateboarding on a bigger level but
I know what you're saying and and
sometimes that is weird but at the same
time
I'm open to hanging out having a
conversation you know Bear Grylls yes so
Bear Grylls was the one that said to me
that when he he's almost become
synonymous with like outdoor activities
like if your friends like eating some
mud you'd go you think you better grills
yeah whatever and he said something
interesting to me which has always
stayed with me he said the the bigger my
brand got the more self-doubt I got and
that's true that's kind of the Imposter
syndrome right
where uh you think like why me why is it
are you are they sure they got the right
guy
um and
I understand that but at the same time I
think I've I've been through enough
phases of success and failure to know
that whatever is coming my way or
whatever it is that I'm putting out
there
um is real and is tangible
and
so the self-doubt is not as is more of a
whisper
success and failure you know you fail
every day in terms of
skating
some of the big big failures in your
life post the video game coming out
because I think we've highlighted your
story to appear to be just success
success success success Big Break
success success what are some of those
big failures that have occurred over the
last decade that we might not have been
cognizant of um well I definitely have
had businesses that fail just because
they were either not the right time or
they were they were a little beyond my
expertise and I thought somehow because
I had other success I probably could do
well in other in other uh stages or
another spaces but I um I think it's
failure yeah you know I've had failed
relationships and
um learned a lot from those and and was
able to to grow and and hopefully amend
my mistakes and and hurting people
um
and I think that uh
it's just a it's just a path of
evolution
um and so
I I mean I've always learned to embrace
my mistakes with skateboarding and in a
sense I do that with my my regular life
too
but they embraced that the idea that I
grew from them
yeah yeah yeah
business there's a there's a business
behind you even still today you have a a
big team
um what is the the entrepreneurial side
of your life currently what are your
business ventures we have
um Hawk apparel
um which is Tony Hawk clothing
um we have birdhouse skateboards
birdhouse apparel is actually its own uh
subsidiary uh with a group um with a
couple guys in Las Vegas that are doing
it which is super cool um I have the
skatepark project which is a foundation
for public skate parks in low-income
areas
um I'm part of a lot of different
Investments and Ventures
um things that I that I'm interested in
and
um
it kind of I can't say that it
it Ebbs and flows some of them Ebbs and
flows but for the most part
um
there's been a crazy trajectory lately I
mean honestly it's it's even surprising
to me that that
um people are still interested in
what I do uh personally and also all the
all the ventures that I'm involved with
we um we have this new tradition on this
podcast Tony where we have these cards
and these cards are based on previous
guests
um questions that they've left in the
book for the next guest so basically
every guest writes the question for the
next guest without knowing who it is
we've turned it into these conversation
cards and I'm gonna be honest you know
we've did this because listeners of this
podcast listen because they like
slightly deeper questions and context so
it allows them to play at home
um I have I think eight here
I'm gonna put them in front of you and
all you've got to do is pick one card
okay if you're willing to play and then
answer that question okay
do you get QR codes do I have to scan no
it's okay the QR code just tells you who
answered it let's just answered it
let's see what are some words you've
never said to anybody why haven't you
said them and who should you have sent
them to
um
I think that I would
have told my wife even though I thought
that I was going to
um
kind of turned my life around and change
my priorities uh I think that I would
have told her that I was I was really
frightened of the of the path or of
trying to make those changes and
um
I think she knew it but it probably
would have helped to confirm that with
with words and um and
I think maybe it would have given her
a better perspective on my
vulnerabilities early on
um because when we first started dating
I was still kind of chaotic with with
what I was doing and and my approach to
my career and my life and everything and
and I made uh I made a conscious choice
to make a positive change and she knew I
was doing that but I don't think I let
on how
how
scary that was for me why why didn't you
tell her
because I wanted her to think that I was
so
capable of it
and so confident with it
um
but you know what I mean she's too
intuitive she knew
yeah man women
this fight is funny you say that because
recently I've ran the experiment of
telling my girlfriend when I'm
struggling with something and I
literally told like I it was it felt
like an experiment because I was always
like tough guy like could never yeah you
know I think I think that was it I was
always I was always guarded and also I I
managed to get this far
with how I was functioning
um I can't say it was it was the
smoothest but you know so I I had some
sense of control but uh I think it was
more to give up that control
was probably the the more scary thing
that I should have conveyed
um but
I feel like
like I said I we we've come so far
especially you know we have a blended
family and uh our kids have a blast we
have a blast we we cherish our time with
them we cherish our time alone
and
um I think we have a really good
uh
I think we just have great communication
and uh
an intimacy so I you know she doesn't
like me talking about her so that's as
far as I'm going to go with it I am I'm
right in my diary the other day that I
used to think vulnerability was um deep
down inside me like tough guy who didn't
really learn vulnerability from my
parents or anything I used to think
vulnerability was a repellent what I
came to learn right is that it's a
magnet yeah and that's when I say around
the experiment it's deep in me I thought
people would like run away or he's
weakies whatever and what happens is the
total opposite it's like you draw them
into you right I think I think what I
learned one of the one of the things I
learned early on is that The Bravery
actually means sharing your feelings
yeah
which
doesn't seem to make sense
because one would think bravery was the
opposite but right I'm on that Journey
now in the Diary of a CEO we have
hundreds of questions that have been
left by our guests and we've put them
on these cards
and on these cards you have the question
that's been left in the diver CEO the
name of the person who wrote the
question and if you turn it over there's
a QR code if you scan that code you can
see which guest answered the question
and watch the video of them answering it
every time I've done this podcast and
every time we've asked the kind of
questions we ask here I feel a
tremendous sense of affinity to the
guest and our aim with these cards is
that you can create that sense of
connection through vulnerability at home
with the people you love the most and I
have some good news for you as of today
you can add your name to the waiting
list to be the first in line to get your
own set of conversation cards at the
conversationcards.com
the question that was actually left for
you um what have you done recently for
someone else nice easy one
um
uh I can't say Nintendo World what's
that you can't say Nintendo
Land isn't that enough
I uh well and I guess more materialistic
I bought my wife a new car as a surprise
oh wow
um I think that uh whatever what did I
do for someone else probably on a bigger
scale
um
I bought a skateboard at an auction that
was a used skateboard that was hand
painted by Kurt Cobain
um for a guy he knew and the guy paid
him twenty dollars in a bag of weed to
paint a skateboard
this guy had held onto the skateboard
through the years because I think
because more because he was a hoarder
um and dug it out of his storage not
long ago and said oh this is that board
that Kurt painted I should put it up for
an auction so I got wind of it I bought
it and
um through the help of Francis Kurt
Cobain's daughter
I I verified the authenticity of it and
recreated it
and so I recreated the skateboard
exactly photorealistic same shape and
everything and made 500 of them and the
proceeds from those skateboard sales go
to half go to the Jed Foundation For
Suicide Prevention and half go to the
skatepark project for public skate parks
that's so cool um so I feel like today
what I do I'm hoping that I did
something for people to either
for those struggling with mental health
or for and also for those who want a
place to skate and that's so cool at
last check uh We've sold 300 of them
300 out of the 500. I'm going to buy one
I would appreciate it yes I'm gonna buy
one I'll buy one today what do I buy and
then for you to answer then that would
be your answer would I do help people
shout out reissue how do I buy one or uh
Tony hawk.com
um in the in the store don't
amazing Tony listen thank you so much
for
um coming here today it's surreal to
meet you because you were you know you
still are an icon in my eyes because you
know it's crazy that I'm I'm from a
little Countryside Village on the other
side of the world and I was born in
Africa and I was playing you on a game
your game when I was just a young kid
and so cool you're the reason why as I
said earlier you're the reason why I
thought skateboarding was cool and I had
an interest in it but the reason why at
12 years old I actually got a skateboard
I was never able to skate I fell off a
couple of times I quit I'm gonna be
honest yeah but I bought the board and I
had an interest in the sport because of
you and your legacy and it's a legacy
you continue to to create in many ways
to do business and through your
philanthropic Endeavors so thank you and
thank you for your humility you know
it's very easy to see how someone like
you might be off in the clouds but from
everything I've seen all the research
I've done you're it seems like you've
been seemingly untouched and I guess
maybe from what you said your wonderful
partner and your family deserves some
credit for that because they oh for sure
you know you've been a grounding Force
thank you so much time yeah thank you
thanks for having me
quick word from one of our sponsors I
have to say I've been on a bit of a
journey with this brand because when I
started my business in new territories
when we first moved social chain to the
to New York City the first place we went
to was wework we moved four of our team
members out to New York City and we
built the business from there
um I have to say there's something
magical about weworks I've spent the
last two or three weeks in LA in a wee
work and as you walk in the front door
every day it's almost like that sense of
community that sense of magic excitement
camaraderie is tangible and you don't
get that when you're working at home you
don't get that often when you're sat in
your bed on your laptop there's
something about getting out and getting
into a wee work that makes me feel a
sense of Entrepreneurship and and
creativity and building and the way that
we work to design both both in the way
that they offer subscriptions so that
you can work you know on demand but also
the the flexibility of the contracts
means that it's just the perfect place
for businesses to scale their companies
and if you haven't checked out where you
work and you want to you can go to we
dot Co slash CEO and there you can get
50 off at trial day at wework close to
you I've now been a fuel Drinker for
about four years roughly so much so that
I ended up investing in the company
um and I play a role on the board of the
company but they also very kindly
sponsor this podcast and to be honest
I've never said this before but he all
believed in this podcast before anybody
else the CEO Julian
um told me before we even launched the
podcast how successful it would be and
that heel would back it and I absolutely
have a huge amount of gratitude for them
for that support but an even greater
sense of gratitude for the fact that
they've helped me stay nutritionally
complete throughout the chaos and
hecticness of my tremendously busy
business schedule so if you haven't
tried out here which I hope most of you
have at least given it a go by now try
it out it's an unbelievable way to try
and stay nutritionally on course if you
have a hectic busy schedule and let me
know what you think send me a tweet and
a DM tag me let me know what you think
Ask follow-up questions or revisit key timestamps.
This episode features an in-depth conversation with legendary skateboarder Tony Hawk. Hawk discusses his early life, the isolation he felt as a 'misfit' in high school, and how skateboarding provided him with a sense of purpose and community. He reflects on his rapid rise to professional fame in his teens, the challenges of maintaining motivation in the face of commercial pressure and burnout, and his eventual shift towards prioritizing his humanity and family over his persona as a celebrity. He also shares insights into the '900' trick, the success of his video game franchise, and his ongoing commitment to philanthropy and the growth of the skateboarding community.
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