it was the worst professional experience

of my career and this was before the me

too movement I felt humiliated and

degraded what can you say about that

experience Rebel Wilson an awardwinning

Hollywood Superstar okay here we go my

dad would say horrible things to my mom

fat lazy cow no one will ever love you

and I had issues with food cuz I had low

self-worth and that's why I would trash

my body I felt my life wasn't going to

be anything but then I found

motivational tapes that said the brave

put down their fears and go forward and

so I decided to go out into the world

and make a name for myself and then I

noticed on stage that people like

laughing at bigger people I thought I

could use this to my advantage I gained

all this weight my body was like at 102

kilos and then I came to America now I'm

making millions of dollars from playing

the fat funny girl I'm living this

amazing life but you achieve it and then

it's not enough and there was still a

virgin never dated properly and this

biological clock you could hear it

going I went to the fertility doctor and

the doctor looks me up and down and goes

you're not healthy and it like really

sunk in I've got to fix this but as soon

as I started telling people in my team

they're like oh no no no why would you

want to lose weight cuz then you lose

your multi-million dollar career you're

just going to throw it away was that

your hardest moment no the darkest point

in my life was when I was 13 and

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[Music]

rebel I I think to understand somebody

you have to understand their earliest

context and as I read through your book

Rebel Rising which is out now I was

surprised in many ways but also the

person that I'd seen on a screen made

sense in a bunch of different ways so

let me throw that question to you as the

first question which is if I if I was to

Endeavor to understand you what do I

need to know about your earliest

context yeah I guess some people say on

screen and they have this image of what

you are like um and often I guess people

would think some overly

confident uh very confident in her

sexuality and uh you know just a kind of

brash ballsy person but uh from my

upbringing I mean I think I couldn't be

more the opposite I mean I grew up in a

pretty regular Suburban Australian up

springing but was extremely shy to the

point where like you'd never think that

I would choose entertainment for a

career like that would just be

unimaginable uh for this ex like

bordering on some kind of social

disorder

shyness and and then coming from quite a

humble beginning of being in a family

where we made money selling pet products

out of a yellow Caravan at dog shows and

so driving around the country to these

dog shows and selling like pooper

scoopers to pick up the poop for the

dogs and uh brushes and leads for the

dogs and and all these things and so it

wasn't also I was allergic to dogs so

that's why my uh my childhood always

felt a little bit uncomfortable which I

never realize why until later when I got

tested as an adult um that I was

allergic and H and so I think by by

writing the book uh people can see this

whole other dimension of me and kind of

maybe why I have the

personality that that I have now what

about your parents so my mom was a

school teacher in in state schools um so

had a lot of like Refugee students and

students that came in not knowing

English and and she mainly taught

kindergarten so like all these kids so

she's just like a light you know light

of a woman like just a brilliant teacher

helped so many young people and some

parts of my childhood she was just a

stay-at-home um Mom which I shouldn't

say just cuz now I'm realizing uh being

a mom is like the hardest thing ever and

then my dad was someone who his his

father died uh suddenly when he was 18

in his final year of high school uh

so uh I think that through his life what

was supposed to be his life off course

and he kind of had emotional issues from

from losing his dad suddenly that young

um and in a tragic way so he um he had I

believe you know wanted to be a

businessman and wanted to be successful

but I guess because of his own emotional

issues and stuff didn't quite fully

achieve his his

potential how do

you know that your father didn't quite

achieve his potential what were like the

symptoms of that CU you seem to be quite

sure that that that was um in something

I think cuz he was so angry all the time

and money was a source of um uh fighting

in the in the household

so H and I just like so for example we'd

go to the racetrack with the horses and

my dad sometimes would own like a oneth

or 12th of a racehorse in a Syndicate um

and he'd look at the other High Flyers

rich people who had had a lot of money

and were successful and people people

knew their names and stuff and I

definitely saw that he wanted to be that

but he wasn't that nobody was coming up

to him and shaking his hand or admiring

him and then in in one of the um

chapters of the book I write about I

found this gym bag in the back of his

car and I was full of all these

cassettes and I just took them nobody

ever said anything uh why they were

there or what and I noticed they were

all motivational tapes um and the one

that I clearly remember was one called

How to Win Friends and Influence People

and I think this was my father's way of

trying to improve himself and trying to

be better and a lot of the tapes were

about business about selling and um how

to be better in in business and and so I

feel like what even though we never

openly discussed it I feel like why

would he have those kind of things cuz

he wanted to better himself just don't

think he had the the ability to and then

his life just didn't go in the way that

he wanted to and I think uh because of

the death of his father he just never

seemed to be able to process

emotions properly um that was the best

way probably nowadays you would go to

someone and get diagnosed with what kind

of issues you had or seek therapy or or

something like that to get over the

trauma but I guess back in Australia in

those days that wasn't thing um and so

he was a man who just you know wanted to

be better but then just couldn't like uh

just didn't have the skills the

emotional skills that trauma eventually

finds an outlet either way if you don't

address it through like therapy it finds

other ways to manifest itself and what

were those ways and I think with him it

was being H angry and he would just turn

from all of a sudden talking normally to

he would go really red in the face like

just like like uh just it was almost

like a red balloon suddenly like his

face would almost expand and he go

really red and he'd just have these

absolutely like Angry outbursts where

he' do and say horrible things and and I

think that that was probably stemming

from when he lost his father in an

unfair way um and and he just didn't

know how to deal with it so probably

like you know if he was now and if you

know I would be like oh you know you

should talk to someone a professional

and process your emotions properly and

but but then back then I guess we didn't

we didn't really know what to do or say

that was just his personality to bring

this into into light I guess the the

example you given in the book is when

you I think you were 12 or something

years old and you decide you were young

it was the summer it was hot and you

decided to wet the bed to cool yourself

down mhm yeah we got back from a dog

show and it was really hot sometimes in

Australia we have like these really hot

like 36° days and so we thought well

we'll pour water all over the mattress

to like wet it down so we'd kind of be

lying in

coolness um and then my father came in

and just he thought I think we'd

literally wet the bed you know like gone

to the toilet on the bed which we never

would have done we were like looking

back we were like the most well- behaved

children you could imagine um and he

just like he just it was like a flick

switch would flick you know and he'd

just go really angry and would just

start whacking us and it was just

um it was I don't know it just seemed to

it just something would tick him off or

something and he'd Just Lose It um and

that was one of the incidents but I was

really young I think I was about eight

okay and my sister was Six Liberty and

when I spoke to her about writing the

book and she was like she doesn't

totally remember that exact instance but

she remembers several others that are

very similar MH um things but that one I

just remembered really clearly and then

I felt like a terrible person cuz I

thought oh well why did I wet the sheets

and the mattress and I was trying to

cool down but that was wrong and I

should never been naughty like that um

and it just kind of um yeah really stuck

to me that that particular time but that

was something that would happen you know

quite a bit

and this sort

of physical aggression and emotional

abuse would continue to your mother as

well it would extend to your mother as

well yeah more with my mom it was more

emotional abuse like um come home and

say oh fat lazy cow what have you done

all day um stuff like oh you know when

to over love you um just like these

comments that would just come constantly

and also more financial abuse like he'd

take control of the finances but then go

and gamble with the money and then we'd

have no money and um so so more with

that um but with the kids it was more

the you know the physical hitting which

was not was not that uncommon in the

area I grew up in I mean I know now like

I could never think of hitting my child

now I just would never but back then it

it was quite common and we did have

family friends that their dad would hit

them with a belt which was kind of a bit

even worse um so we kind of felt like

like we didn't know anything that

different it was quite common I I ask

those particular questions because it I

often think that we learn our first

model of what love is and what a

relationship is by what we observe with

our parents and for me I know for sure

that watching my parents how they

interacted left me with a message that I

absolutely do not want to be in a

romantic relationship and I avoided that

for my whole life yeah that's probably

why I never dated anybody ever um

because I saw my parents my mom kind of

became a shell of a woman and had to

have every ounce of strength in order to

get out of that relationship eventually

when I was like 16 17 and that left me

thinking I will never get

married um I I don't want to be in a

partnership with somebody like this is

terrible uh because often when my dad

would have his Outburst or whatever it

was always at home it was not in public

it was not around other people it was

like just just when we were at home and

I went who would want that like there

was nothing loving about it and and I

think even though I had one boyfriend

when I was 16 and and then he uh cheated

on me with a friend and and then I was

like that's it and and then from then

throughout the whole of my teenage and

20s like did not date one person

because I guess I I didn't want to be

like my mother and and have this like

awful thing happen that you know

obviously now the story is great for my

mom she's now um engaged to a great man

and who's awesome and so kind and loving

but uh my only representation I guess

was their marriage and it was awful like

it was just even when they separated it

took seven years to uh where and

basically left them my mom with nothing

because all the money went to the

lawyers um from the separation costs and

I was just like oh like why would I want

that I go no I would like to be

successful and go out into the world and

make a name for myself and a romantic

relationship would only cause me pain

only drag me down uh not allow me to be

my true

self um so I thought yeah I just thought

I would never never i' never wanted one

until you get real lonely when you

become successful and then you're like

oh maybe maybe things can change what am

I going to do with all this stuff yeah I

think some of my darkness comes this is

a quote from your book I think some of

my darkness comes from my dad there is

definitely convict history on that side

of my family a lot of dodginess when you

say a lot of my darkness it's it's

interesting because I remember sitting

with Tim Grover who I reference a lot

and Tim Grover was the guy who coached

Michael Jordan and um

Kobe Bryant for pretty much you know the

most significant parts of their career

yeah I think I've listened to that epod

yeah yeah amazing biger basketball fan

yeah yeah yeah he's it was incredible

and one of the things you said to me

earlier was that everyone has their dark

side and then which is often from their

early experiences and all those kinds of

things and then it's often our light

side is often created by our dark side

in many respects yeah so I see shades of

what I would guess was your dark side in

in those early years of of your um story

but when you say that your dark side

probably came from your father what are

you referring to so I kind of feel like

um that I have friends in the industry

right who have had like quite awesome

childhoods and you know and and to me

sometimes in their work they come across

as very

vanilla and and then I was thinking

about I go why aren't they as

interesting or something and they're

great and they're talented but it's not

as interesting and I normally when I you

chat to them you find out oh they have

two loving parents and they had a great

childhood um and so for me I think why I

have certain parts of my personality and

like to do comedy and stuff is because I

have this I have a lightness which

definitely comes from my mom and my

mom's side of the family that are all

like that and then on my dad's side it's

just like dodginess everywhere and like

like I don't you know alcoholism and

like addictions and um and and just also

a mentality of just I don't know how to

explain it best apart from saying it's a

bit dodgy but in a way and then

sometimes when uh I mean I don't suffer

from like actual depression or whatever

but then sometimes if you're feeling

like you're a you know uh sometimes I

it's feels like a mafia sensation when

you're like oh I want to get revenge on

those people or something you know uh

I'm like shocked of where these feelings

come from and they're normally from the

Dark Side um but if I didn't have that I

don't think I'd be as interesting as a

as a person or as a performer um and I

definitely like have sometimes have an

edginess to jokes and stuff which I

guess I wouldn't have had if I if I

didn't have you know one side of the

family be be a bit dodgy um and the

other side be light so I knew I knew the

difference and I knew I kind of had both

you embody both and that's quite

interesting yeah when someone can

present us both at the same time a

little bit sadistic as well

but in the in the in the cover of your

book it says um that you're always

questioning am I good enough I can

relate for many reasons of my own to do

with like coming here when I was do you

think Steven that's why you're

successful because you're asking

yourself that

question I think it's intrinsically

linked to why I was apparently so driven

MH yeah which I I've come to I've come

to ask myself in recent years am I

actually driven or am I being dragged by

something they both look the same yeah

but when you're dragged it's more it's

there's it's there's less control yeah

less ability to stop and slow down and

are you workoholic I read that the P

definitely so I think maybe you're also

in the dragged category to some degree

and my dragging came from being not

enough in the context I was you only

black kid poorest family in the area so

you're there's a deep sort of sense of

Shame and insecurity that you're trying

to fill prove to others and yourself

that you're you're not my question was

about when that started in you what made

you can you look back and find out what

made you feel like you weren enough I

think I definitely get self-esteem and

self-worth from

achievements um and so when it was in

school it would be getting 100% in every

exam and that would be good if I didn't

I'd feel bad about myself and then I

don't know just generally being

successful in things gives me makes me

feel good about myself but then I was

thinking about one of the reasons why I

had uh issues with food and because I

had low self-worth and and then I felt

like I was not good enough I was like

trash and that's why I would trash my

body cuz I just felt like well I don't

deserve anything different and then

that's a really complicated question to

work out why don't I feel good enough um

and and I've thought about of a lot and

and some things I know but then some

things I think I I don't know why some

things are as simple as like for example

being born a girl in the area where I

was from and boys were more praised like

even at the dog

shows did something called Junior

handling and then if a boy ever entered

he'd normally win cuz it was like oh boy

doing it uh whereas girls just just

weren't

seen as being as good um the boys school

I went to an all girls high school but

the boys school next door was seen as

more prestigious and better um and um

and they had the multi-million dollar

theater at their school and you know it

was just

um and so I think some of it is just as

simple as like being born a girl in in

the area and I was like God that's so

dumb though why didn't I um like

transcend that

and then some of it must have been from

not feeling love although obviously I

know my parents love me very very much

but um because of I came from a very

conservative family we didn't really

talk about emotions and feelings and so

it wasn't expressed in the way that I

probably needed it to so I I didn't feel

good enough unless I was getting first

in my grade in a subject or something

and then and then I was congratulated

and so then I felt good um or winning a

prize or a trophy and and that's when

you would get the praise from the people

you came about yeah and so I just kind

of went with that um uh but it's just

but then it's like I like there was

nothing wrong with me I go why did I not

feel good enough but I guess I've

always felt that

um and it's kind of sad when you think

about it cuz you're like why would

somebody it's not like I did anything

bad or you know should have felt ashamed

about something I just always felt like

that I guess it proves that kids they

don't they're not born with perfect

self-esteem they do need that to be

fostered and poured into and nourished

or else there can be an ABS so what I'm

saying is there doesn't have to be

something that happened that proved you

weren't good enough but there could just

be maybe something that didn't happen

that proved you were and I think there's

all these little micro things that can

happen um you know you're not chosen for

something or you're not uh you're always

at the back at the side or you know

you're not ever the star or just all

these little things or no one ever

thought you'd make it or be anything MH

um and just like little things that

little comments people would say or

something and then um yeah and then that

all just adds up and you you're 13 14

you're in school you're shy this point

I'm guessing you you have that struggle

with feeling like you're good enough I

think that's maybe a symptom of the

shyness yeah and also like I was just

very average looking I had like a

snaggle tooth what's a snagle tooth it's

like a basically a deformity like a

deformed tooth like on one side which

I've had fix now but kind of like a Fang

I guess but only on one side so it

wasn't like some cool vampire thing I um

and then I had that and I was so

painfully shy where I'd go red in the

face if a teacher asked me to answer a

question in class even though I knew the

answer it was just it was so

embarrassing and I didn't have any

friends um and I guess because I thought

why would people want to be friends with

me I'm not good-looking or popular or

cool in any way and and so I just yeah

it was it was really that was like one

of the darkest times like when I like 13

14 and and like you know people are kind

of becoming the M themselves at that

point and then I read this article in

the library that said that what your

personality is at 15 will be your

personality for Life uh because I used

to eat my lunches in the library just by

myself so I was reading stuff all the

time and then I read this and I went

like I'm so close to 15 if I don't

change this is going to be me forever

and can I imagine my life like not

expressing anything to anybody just like

being just shy and introverted and isol

at ated and I just knew I didn't want

that that that wouldn't have been the

happy life for me and not that there's

anything wrong with being shy like the

sh sometimes can be like a superpower

You observe people and you um you know

you learn a lot by by

observing but then I just was like no I

want to have friends and I want to have

fun and be popular and and so I was like

oh well I better get a move on and

luckily I found those motivational tapes

and then and then they helped me um

because I thought I want to be somebody

that expresses myself like literally

you'd look at me uh and I sometimes see

it in my niece now I think she has a

similar thing like it's almost like you

wouldn't be able to register anything

that's going on you wouldn't know if I'd

had a good day or a bad day I just it

just be like no no expression or

anything um and then I I was like okay

I'm going to force myself to like come

out of my little cocoon or my shell or

um whatever the metaphor is and just

break out and with the help of those

tapes and like it having a strategy and

how to do it what was the strategy uh

well there were all sorts of things but

I remember from that how to win friends

and influence people there was something

about talking to five new people every

day and so that was one of the first

things I did and like talking to girls

on the bus or just you know walking up

through the school Gates and talking

just talking to the person next to me

and saying high and what you realize is

that there's other people as lonely and

as isolated as what you are and that

might have been the highlight of their

day to speak to somebody new and you

know instead of just sitting in the

library all day waiting for friends to

find me which they never would why don't

I actively go out and join like SP other

sport teams or other clubs at the school

and like actively try to make friends

like it's not just going to happen if

you're just doing nothing um so there

were these little tips and

strategies um but one of which was to

get

attention which was to be essentially to

be naughty to get attention it's kind of

like that uh you know Eminem the rapper

if he hadn't put out all these songs

that were like really controversial and

had you know outrageous things in them

would he have been a successful rapper

probably not and so it was kind of like

I then to do some dodgy things at school

to get known to get like a reputation

which was against my natural personality

cuz I was such a good little girl um but

I had to do things outrageous things to

get attention and then that led to

popularity then once you have the

popularity you don't need to do that

stuff but yeah is there some kind of a

link there between you the career you

would then pursue as an actress as a

performer

um a comedian all of those things and

this sort of early desire to have

attention and validation from you know

your PE I think it started from just

like a more normal thing about wanting

to have friends M and wanting to be

invited to some parties and um so it it

started it started from that and and

like and then you wanted to be respected

but then to be respected people first

have to know who you are and so

sometimes you have to do that

attention-seeking behavior to get that

um but but the how I got into like

acting was really well my mom dragged me

into it because um I mean the studies on

that creative arts can really help your

self-esteem and self-confidence it's

like insane like it's really good for

young people who are struggling and my

mom could see me like struggling and

having no friends and so mom takes me to

these drama classes at this community

center and literally has to drag me out

of the car I'm holding on to the car

door with my fingernails like going no

no no I don't want to go it was so

traumatic but she was doing it not

because she wanted me to become an actor

like we don't have any professional

entertainers in the family like you know

uh nobody I know was in the business or

whatever at that point it was more to

help my self-confidence and

self-esteem through the creative arts

and weirdly it really did because when

you're shy like I was to play different

characters it's like an escape because

it's not really me it's a different

character and and then you can perform

as that person and then eventually some

of that confidence starts coming to you

the real you um uh from from doing that

but obviously at the time nobody thought

I would become a professional actress or

they would have laughed about that

scenario it's it's interesting because

you can see these different drives

forming within you you've got this drive

for um I don't know you might say for

validation externally but then because

you come from a family that didn't have

money there's also where you were

rewarded for academic success or being

successful at something there's also

this drive to be successful which shows

up in early in your story when you start

selling things and buying things and

then you do exceptionally well in school

um you go off to board boarding school

it's what a 16 years old I think in part

it sounds like to escape from the

childhood the household dynamics of your

father and your mother yeah um you do

exceptionally well there as well

exceptionally well and then you end

up in Africa South Africa I know which

is random uh so you know a lot of people

do the Gap here thing and I mean it's

random but basically as a witness in a

major crime Squad investigation when I

was in my final year of school i'

witnessed something and had to testify

and then uh through that some people

were very impressed with my ability to

go and do that in a case and so I was

like and and they told me about this

program that was uh it's a rotary

program and it was called a youth

Ambassador um program and basically they

wanted young people who were very good

at public speaking and by this point I'd

done I'd forced myself to do debating

and public speaking and to get over my

shyness and so I was quite a good

speaker and and I got recommended into

this program and got selected and you

don't get to choose what country you go

to they they just select for you so and

they sent one boy and one girl from our

district over um to different countries

and I got given South Africa and I was

like Co cuz I thought it was going to be

like The Lion King at first which was

one of my favorite movies and then I go

rock up to South Africa a few years post

apartheid and it was so different to

Australia like Australia's very safe

Johannesburg had the highest rape and

murder rate in the world at that time

and there were guns everywhere and

bobbed wir fences and you know attack

dogs and it was like it was so eye

openening but then to

also uh be constantly aware of the

violence and like I had to carry a

little like a wooden baton like what you

see like an old you know policeman in a

cartoon would would carry because I

literally if somebody attack me I'd have

to hit them on the head with it and it

was like I was like this is crazy like

there was there was so much going on

that year um and but that's how I got

the malaria uh which forced me to have

this Vision that I was to become an

actress and I think if I'd never ever

gone to Africa I never would have had

that life-changing vision and I probably

just would have gone back to law school

and and being being a lawyer in in

Australia me and you both share that in

common we both were in Africa and got

bitten by mosquito you have a vision I

had a vision what was your vision so I

my dad was holding so we're in our house

and they didn't know that I had malaria

this is what my dad and my mom tell me I

was very young they were holding me here

and I was I'd woken up in the night

because I said there was a man by my bed

so they' picked me up thinking oh my God

there's this man in his bedroom and that

when my dad was holding me like this so

I can see over his shoulder the man

would be behind him and I was freaking

out that there's a man behind him um

which I was later would call the shadow

man and wrote a little novel about when

I was about 14 and this this shadow man

um because I was losing my mind they

took me to a hospital and at hospital

they found out that I had malaria but in

hindsight they tell the story that

that's that man saved my life oh you

know what I mean so I grew up very I

grew up with this idea that I had a

guardian angel

the shadow man but it was just malaran

hallucinations yeah well like tell about

your hallucinations I had a n nasty

strain of malaria and um it was put in

hospital and you know malaria is so diff

I don't know whether you remember

because how old you but it's it felt

like just felt like I was not in my body

and and then they take me into hospital

and give me these drugs and then I then

I just started hallucinating and I

hallucinated that I was an actress that

I was so good that I win an Academy

Award and I must have I mean I'd seen

the Oscars on TV I'd obviously never

been and um and then I just walked down

the and it was so real like I could see

all the people with the dresses and I

get up on stage and then I give an

acceptance rap rather than an acceptance

speech because I thought oh yeah that's

hardcore and at one point I had want I

had wanted to be a rapper because of

their coolness and Swagger um didn't

work out for me Lu but my little rap

group with my sister yeah didn't work

out but

and it was so vivid and real like I

could like I can still remember

it and then I came out of hospital I was

in hospital for two weeks I came out and

I was like I think I've got to become an

actress now i' had this vision and

people go a no like the malaria has

affected your brain they they're just

like they thought I was nuts like they

thought I was crazy and I go no I've

seen it and they're like no no no like

you've you've got into the best law

school in Australia like maybe go to law

school and have a great career and I'm

like no I've seen it and I and I think I

need to be an actress now and then I

left South Africa a month earlier I was

supposed to be there a full 12 months I

left one month earlier uh to audition

for a drama school in Australia which I

got rejected because obviously I was

terrible um and and nobody looked at me

and go actress nobody so

um yeah and

and it still took I think from that

Vision five years until I really got it

you could make money from acting H but I

it was like the vision came to me and I

watched a lot of Oprah and Oprah was

like well the universe will tell you

like first it'll come in little Whispers

And then it'll be like bricks falling on

you and I was like but see I've I've had

the vision I have to I have to do acting

now um in hindsight yeah was that a

malaria hallucination or was it divine

intervention I don't know I think is was

that some subconscious desire that I was

never brave enough to say to

anybody um because I was in the high

school musicals and plays um you know in

the musical I was like never cast as the

lead or whatever but I really enjoyed it

like I I really did enjoy it and so but

I just never thought someone like me

could have a career in that area so I

was like was that just a subconscious

desire that just decided to come out

when I was deathly ill or was it some

kind of I don't know some higher power

or something showing me that this was

more my purpose um cuz I remember a lot

thinking that time like what is my

purpose like what am I supposed to be

doing in the world and I'd write in my

little diary you know like but again I

watched a lot of Oprah so I was like you

know what's my purpose how can I give

back to people those tapes as well yeah

probably so you go back to Australia you

pursue law I guess for the money you

just thought that was a good well

because my father had dropped out okay I

definitely wanted to have a college

degree and he always said that was his

biggest regret that he never got his

business degree and because i' got I was

so hard to get into this law school you

almost had to be near perfect in all

your exams so I just thought I may as

well just do it as well will you ever

trying to impress either one of them

more than the other oh my mom just

wanted her dream for me was to be normal

I guess like you know to have friends to

kind of have a you know relationship and

be kind of normal so it's not like she

definitely didn't want me to be some

kind of a known public person sometimes

the oldest sibling you're the oldest of

four right is a bit of a reflection of

more so of a reflection I think of what

the parents wanted for themselves I tend

to think that's a bit of a so I'm

wondering if your like desire for

success and valid if it was something

that you felt from your father like you

know him he couldn't be that himself so

maybe he reflected that more praise on

you when you were objectively successful

in the things that you did um why would

you want to be a lawyer is yeah I just

because if you were smart you'd go into

Laural medicine um and and so you know

and they would have loved to have gone

around and said you know oh my

daughter's a lawyer at this firm and

that would have been a great you know

great career that they would have

thought that my parents had to work

really hard to send me to the school

that I did like at one point apart from

selling all the dog products my dad was

also working at the gas station

overnight and you know just to afford my

school uniforms and stuff like that so

so for them a successful outcome would

have been okay she got into the top law

school and now she's going to be a

lawyer and therefore all that money

spent on education was worth it and you

go back you do end up qualifying as a

lawyer yeah um you become a lawyer

it did take me 10 years though it's

normally a 5year double degree and I did

Arts as well um why did it take so long

cuz you're acting so basically yeah so I

would I'd be in theater shows at first

and then it would be TV shows and my law

school had an 80% attendance rule so

basically if I started in a semester and

then for some reason my filming schedule

or whatever I'd have to repeat the

subject because if I didn't attend in

person 80% of the time so it was

exhausting um often I was would fly have

to fly into State I'd be filming in

another state I have to get up at 4:00

a.m. in the morning and fly to Sydney to

law school and then fly all the way back

that night from the from the first time

you did whatever you class as like an

acting gig or tried to be an actress to

the moment when you feel like you had

made it how many years is that so I

started quite late I guess I started

like 18 turning 19 which is quite late I

think I think a lot of people start kids

yeah 12 13 I guess um and then that was

like proper acting classes like proper

like with people wanting to do it as a

career and then I had I wrote my first

play at 21 I just wrote it in two nights

and then it won this playwriting

competition and got put on um and I was

like holy crap um and then a television

station gave me $90,000 to put it on

professionally which was like kind of

insane

great luck for the first thing I'd ever

written um and I realized from that

point nobody saw me as an actor I wasn't

like Nicole Kidman or that you know in

that vein so I realized pretty quick I

had to write myself my own material if I

was going to make it but I didn't start

earning a professional like a full-time

wage um until I was a regular on a TV

show at

23 at what point in this journey towards

being an act do you realize that your

weight is influencing how people see you

and the way that they're casting you so

when I was like uh about 21 into like

22 uh I had something called PCOS

polycystic aarian syndrome and one of

the key signifiers of that was like

rapid weight gain so all of a sudden I

mean when I first started acting I was

just a regular side was a bit athletic

looking but you know pretty regular um

and and then all of a sudden I gained 30

kilos and was like and I had some other

symptoms as well I had like some dark

hair on my arms and there there's a

couple of key signifiers to it and then

I went to the doctors and they said oh

yeah you've got PCOS and in that first

play that I'd written when I was 21 I'd

cast a girl who was bigger than you know

quite a large girl and then I noticed on

stage like did get way more laughs than

me and I kind of wrote all the roles

quite evenly and I was like why is that

girl getting getting more laughs and I

honestly thought I mean one she's

hilarious but it's cuz she's bigger and

people like laughing at bigger people

and then there I did this subject at

University called comedy and power and

basically you know there is a science to

if you normally if you want to sleep

with somebody you're not nor wanting to

laugh at them so you know if you want to

sleep with someone you're into them

attracted to them but normally the

people that you want to laugh at are

people that have some kind of immediate

physical irregularity like you know

bigger women do do well in comedy um you

might be really tall really short you

might have a really big nose something

something about you that's quite

distinctive um that people can instantly

go aha you know and they in more in

comedy the science of it is more people

want to be your friend rather than they

don't want to be your lover they they

want to be your friend and they think

you know you'd be good to hang out with

and have a laugh with and so it was

really interesting when I gained all

this weight I was like ah I think I'm

going to lean into comedy because um

even though I tried to be a serious

actress at first I was like hang on this

which could be seen as a huge negative a

lot of people would be going oh no you

know I put on all this weight instead I

went the opposite way and was like you

know what I could use this to my

advantage I like comedy I I I think I

should go into comedy and use being

bigger as just what you know a good tool

in my comedy toolbox and then that was

kind of reinforced I guess because then

you people laugh harder and then they

pay you more and and it is true it is is

true people like laughed laughed more

and I lent into comedy and then I got a

scholarship from Nicole Kidman

uh to go to New York and I went to a

second City Comedy School in New York at

the time um and yeah and then I just

realized I had a quite a good knack for

it and that was taking off more than the

dramatic acting how did you feel about

yourself at that

time

well I guess uh I was quite shocked in

my Diaries when I looked back at them

for research for the book even when I

was 16 and I wasn't big at all I was

very athletic played lots of different

sports and and my first goal was like to

lose two kilos I guess cuz my mom had

made a comment at some point not not for

any bad reasons she just you know

thought she had weight issues herself

and just thought you know if I lost

those two kilos I might feel better in

myself or something like that and so I

just when I gained all that weight there

there's kind of a dichotomy cuz at one

point I'm like this could help me

professionally in comedy and you know

big girls do do better in comedy I can

see a pigeon hole for myself in that

area and you can be successful and I'd

just gotten on a television show when I

was 23 playing kind of the I guess the

whale character is what they sometimes

refer to me as and they refer to you as

the whale character yeah well like I was

the obese girlfriend of one of the guys

who he was embarrassed to go out with me

so the whole joke was like he was trying

to hide me because he didn't want people

to know I was in a relationship cuz I

was obese and that was the whole it was

very popular show in Australia it's

called fat pizza and and so on the one

hand there's that but then on the other

hand I felt

like I knew I was eating very badly I

mean my diet at that point was just

carbs pretty much I remember coming to

New York and going to Comedy school and

you know just eating a pint of ice cream

for dinner or a whole big bag of chips

or something and and then and I so on

the one hand I could be confident and

know that this could be good for me

careerwise but on the other hand I

knew I'm not treating myself right this

is not good you know I'm not being

healthy um and so I had both going on in

my mind at the same time how do you play

a role in a movie that fat Pizza movie

where you're basically

a someone something's somebody that

somebody else is embarrassed

about and how does that not impact your

self-esteem at some level cuz I'm

thinking if I was playing in a movie

someone an individual that someone was

trying to hide the thing is like cuz

when it's acting it's not quite you and

only on a rare occasion would people

confuse

like cuz obviously the guys on the show

were pretty great and respectful off off

camera and everything um it was that was

just the character I was playing and I

was lucky to be on a comedy show and uh

to be earning money that way but then I

remember going to a post office and just

like mailing a letter and the guy was

obviously a fan of the show and started

saying oh Tula that was my character oh

he's so fun you know and like he in real

life was saying stuff like the guy on

the show but this is now real life yeah

yeah yeah and it was very hurtful in in

real life whereas for acting it's you

know kind of can separate it a little

bit what did you say to him that day

that post post office I didn't say

anything I just kind of walked out and

thought Oh that guy's an idiot he

doesn't understand the distinction

between a comedy show and you know a

real person and and so that was just a

bit hurtful um but it but I guess it

must but then on the other hand it it's

hard to

feel sorry for myself because then

obviously not in Australia but then when

I came to America and played like Fat

Amy which

is probably my most famous character I

mean now I'm making millions of dollars

from playing the the fat funny girl and

really leaning into that and

so and what do you care about more than

millions of dollars or the you know what

I mean and that's well now I care about

my health and wellbeing but but back

then I guess I thought oh well I'm

becoming successful and this is helping

me become successful I think this is

really at the heart of what your book

takes on is the idea

that you know we can become quote

unquote

successful in the eyes of the world but

that doesn't necessarily mean we're

successful holistically in all the

things that we need to to be successful

and I I I relate to that so much because

because of the things we've described

about being driven and dragged and all

that stuff I think I became successful

in one of maybe the 10 things that I

needed to be to be like rounded as a

person yeah and anomalies like you that

achieve such great success often there's

a trade-off yeah so I felt like I needed

like Olympic Athlete dedication to make

it in the entertainment business I mean

the odds of making it are so small one

to make it in my home country and then

to come to Hollywood and to make it um

the odds are you know Millions to one

really of having the career that I've

had um so you know like an Olympic

gymnast if you meet people and they're

like incredible at

gymnastics but then you talk to them um

about their personal life or their their

skills and uh and then

basically you can tell they're like

stunted I guess is the is the right word

um so they've had this drive and this

focus and they've achieved and they if

you're an athlete you know like get to

the Olympics or or to me like being in

an Oscar nominated movie um I haven't

won obviously the vision hasn't come

true um but but was I stunted I was like

if you really knew me you'd know that

yeah I hadn't been on out on a date um

until my early 30s I hadn't had that in

Intimate experiences

and uh and relationships and so all that

area of my life like wasn't great but I

was like the most successful person to

ever come out of my high school or you

know so like there were great things I

could go courtside at the LA Lakers

games or you know like they awesome

stuff but then there was

like yeah on a personal side I wasn't

the the best person and then I then I

knew that I knew oh God okay so I've

excelled in one area but now there's

others that I'm like quite lacking in

and the other area was apart from love

life and kind of social life was also um

Health you have you move to America um

you get um you work very hard for the

next couple of years you get this you

know this opportunity in bridesmaid

which then takes some time for it to

come out I read in your book that you

got paid $3,500 for your role in

bridesmaid which is quite shocking um

yeah that my first job in America and I

mean I was very lucky to to get it I

mean what an awesome cracker over a

movie to get that but to be paid that

little and basically that $3,500 I then

had to pay to the union to join the

union so I basically I made no money I

lost money because I had to pay to go to

the premere like to buy my dress and

everything so I lost money doing

bridesmaids but and then you have to

wait it normally takes a whole year when

you film a movie for the movie to be

released so that was a really skint year

where I was living on $60 a week in La

once I'd paid my rent and my car hire

and that's not a lot of money so like I

wasn't partying or living living this

life it was

basically just having that Focus trying

to write for myself like going to

auditions and um and I had to wait a

whole year till bridesmaids came out and

then suddenly it comes out there this

big hit and I book six movies off the

back of it one of which was Pitch

Perfect uh which was kind of my real

golden ticket um that movie and became

the highest grossing musical comedy

franchise of all time yes and there was

very very very successful and very very

awesome fun movies to be a part of so

they're they're like such a gift those

movies your life changes at that point

because you you're sort of globally

internationally famous now and surely

that means job done we can we can chill

we can go look at other things and I say

this because there so many people me

being probably one of them that maybe

told ourselves in the past that once we

hit the Pitch Perfect the global Smash

Hit success then we'll chill then you'll

be happy and then it'll be fine and then

uh but then of course then you come up

with some different goals that I'm like

is even harder you guys may have heard

our most recent news the launch of

flight Studio which is our brand new

podcast and media technology company as

we scale this new company we also need

to scale our team and my first Port of

Call for hiring across flight Studio has

been link LinkedIn jobs who are a

sponsor of this podcast we're hiring for

around 30 to 60 roles right now and

Linkedin has been me and my teams goto

their platform makes the hiring process

intuitive smooth and super efficient

LinkedIn has helped me and my team

Source professionals we can't get

anywhere else even those who aren't

actually searching for jobs right now

but might be open to the perfect role

with us in a given month over 70% of

LinkedIn users don't visit other leading

job websites they visit LinkedIn so if

you're not not looking on LinkedIn

you're looking in the wrong place so

today I'm giving the dire of coo

Community a free LinkedIn job post head

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doac now and let me know how you get on

terms and conditions apply a real P

pivotal moment and turning point in your

life is clearly when you went to that

doctor that day after deciding that you

wanted to have a child mhm yeah why did

you decide you wanted to have a child

was there an influence something you'd

seen or something I yes I never thought

cuz I was so career driven I thought uh

you know I'd never thought I would want

to have a family um and also being in my

business it was so so egocentric the

business um and so I just didn't think

that was in the cards for me and I also

thought oh well I'm probably never going

to find a partner or whatever and then

it was just like this biological clock

inside me when in my late 30s just

started like ticking really loudly and I

kind of say it's like imp Peter Pan and

that crocodile that has the clock inside

it it was just like like you could hear

it going tick tick tick I was like do it

now like it'll otherwise it'll be too

late and I would see babies on the

street with their moms and be like a and

I just like keep staring at all the

babies and and just like like I just

really felt this urge in inside me to be

a mother and even though I didn't have a

partner at that point and I just was

like uh I think I should uh try

and and but I was getting I was like 39

years old and I didn't even know that I

had eggs or what could be done and um

and then I went to the fertility doctor

and and by this point like I'm living

this really large like you know I am

medically obese but I'm living this kind

of amazing life I traveled the world I

learned how to have fun and uh not be so

much of a workaholic and I was like you

know like that lizo song like it's bad

o' like that was like my life like

I'm walking around just loving it I've

been successful now and then the doctor

looks me up and down and

goes yeah but you're not healthy and he

said you have a much better chance of

having a baby if you were healthy and

the way he said it with like kind of

quite a lot of disdain in his voice I

was like huh cuz that's that was a

stranger most people you know in

Hollywood they're not going to come up

to you and go oh you're engaging in bad

you know eating habits obviously like um

they're just like oh congratulations on

your new movie and yay it's great um you

play Fat Amy and that's awesome and how

successful it's been uh I don't think so

he wasn't in my

demographic he looked a bit like the

doctor from Doc from um Back to the

Future okay yeah older guy with white

wiry hair so yeah I don't think he was

in the pit perfect fan base and he just

he just said it straight to my face and

then I go oh I'm not healthy cuz and I

knew deep down I just suppressed those

feelings but I knew deep down I wasn't

healthy but I didn't have any serious

diseases I was doing incredible things

all around the world so I just didn't

and then he said that and it like it

really sunk in it was like this

criticism that was I couldn't ignore and

I is like oh God okay yeah he is right

and I'm not healthy um because on the

one hand I'm like a beacon of body

positivity and that CU I really do think

beauty is at any size and um and and had

and had grown you know so much

self-confidence um by that point but

then on the other hand I knew I was

engaging in unhealthy eating behaviors

and that was something I wanted to

improve in myself and then I I thought

well the next year 2020 I'll make the

whole year about getting healthy like I

said I'm not going to work weirdly I

couldn't have predicted that a pandemic

was going to happen uh I'd already

planned not to work that year and to

take a whole year to do Health stuff you

you get back in the car after that

doctor visit and you describe kind of

your what's going on in your brain but

you you've as you said you know at that

point you knew you weren't healthy deep

down deep down yeah um every one kind of

knows you know if you if you are

medically obese you kind of know that

yeah but to get from there to taking any

action it's really hard to to change

behavior in such a way yes especially

because I yes had I tried to go on diets

before had I gone on diets had I gone to

like a little health farm and you know

lost 5 seven pounds in a week and and

then you never sustain it and then it

goes back up so I'd like it's not like

never tried I just never thought because

always the weight would come back on and

that was just my homeostasis or whatever

from my body was like at 102 kilos and

that's kind of just how it was and I was

like oh well I could never permanently

change that I just thought no I can get

two degrees from University and become

an international movie star but I just

can't like with the weight I was like I

can't like just you know I don't know

I'm just not right in that area I never

I'll never be healthy in that

way and that one comment from that

stranger yeah it was something in the

way he said it I was like sugar I'm not

like I'm not healthy

like and that must be what a lot of

people thought they just never said it

to my face um and then it was kind of

the motivation almost not really for

myself and my health but for a future

child that I thought well now I've got

to fix this um and work really hard um

to do it because if I I I tried so many

time I don't know 20 times or whatever

in the past to but it always only lasted

a short term and then I was like well

okay but this is different cuz now the

motivation is to have a child so that's

like a different motivating factor you

want to have a child this doctor says

you'll have a a chance if you're healthy

you leave there that day you must also

have it in the back of your mind that

people are paying you millions and

millions and millions of dollars I think

around that time that year You' made

like $20 million in movies or whatever

um they're paying you because you fit

this

Persona that they want yeah so as soon

as I started telling people in my team

about this they're like oh no no no why

would you want to lose weight like that

no I wouldn't if I was you I wouldn't do

that cuz then you lose your

multi-million dollar pigeon hole that

you've so so successfully created and

look at all the work you've done to get

that and now you're just going to throw

it

away so I was then literally like okay

what do I do with my life am I get

healthy but I lose my career or do I

just stay the way I am and maybe never

have a

child and like that was literally kind

of how it was positioned to me and so

even though literally everyone around me

pretty much said as you are I just felt

like nah I got to I think I know deep

down that I'm engaging in unhealthy

behaviors and I'm going to I'm going to

work on my health and try to have a

child thinking at that point I know it

sounds simplistic but thinking that my

career could be over

then but I was like no it's too that's

too

important going on that Journey losing

the weight and all those kinds of things

is never a straight line yeah know it's

it was the I mean the pandemic helped a

lot cuz literally everything stopped um

and and I could just focus focus on

being healthy was that became a big

blessing um to me and when I really

focused and did the emotional work

because there's things like that I write

about in the book that I just never

thought about until I started

emotionally processing things did one of

your contract say I think it was Pitch

Perfect say that you couldn't lose 10B

of weight contractually yeah so that's

like quite common you can't drastically

change your appearance so that's pretty

much in all acting contracts um it's not

just about weight it's about your hair

you know what you look like um and you

can't go you know too much either side

um that's basically because sometimes in

films you have to do re- shoots or

sometimes you know they might want to do

a sequel or something and so you kind of

have to stay the same so literally like

I have to ask somebody if I'd want to

cut my hair right now uh to a different

color or style or whatever it's just

it's just a thing in the business

because you could be asked to do a

re-shoot on a film a year later you have

to kind of look the same so this journey

of losing

weight tell me about this process what

helped you so I was like as you can

probably tell like I'm quite goal

orientated and uh and so I was like okay

2020 is be my year of health I'm themed

it I'm going to put it on Instagram so

I'm like held responsible yeah H you

know the other times it would be a bit

more private like okay I'm going to go

to this health farm or whatever and I'm

like okay it's going to be my year of

health and I'm just going to focus on

being healthy and um the the thing Anne

haway introduced me to this doctor who

was um great cuz I guess she saw me on a

film we did together called the hustle

and she kind of saw me struggling and

his specialty was kind of dwelling into

emotional emotions and how they can

affect your physical health and I never

even thought about that like I just

thought you know going on a diet is

about eating less and exercising more

and um I just never thought but to me

because I was an emotional eater really

the kicker was to process emotions and

to learn how to process emotions and

obviously from my family environment I

had definitely not learned um any skills

in that area and was kind of holding on

to everything like a so like a bag of

groceries of this little trauma and this

and and they are holding on to it m um

and so I had to start processing that um

with the doctor like we did a phone call

every two weeks and and at first it's

awful you're like oh my God what do I

talk you know and talk about my personal

things and it felt awful to do it at

first um and then I did it and

then gradually it kind of I started

processing things and then I could

release them the emotions and and then

and then the weight loss kind of came

but because I wasn't working I I did do

crazy workouts like I was working out

like 2 hours 2 and 1 half hours a day um

to help you know to help accelerated I

was cooking my own meals I was you know

concentrating on eating high protein

meals and like I was just doing all the

right things because I didn't have any

stress of work and um and I was just

like okay this is going to be it but the

real thing was the emotional what what

are those bags that you let go of

emotionally I think a lot of it like I

don't think I would have been able to

write this book if I hadn't have done

that uh emotional work with the doctor

because um there was just stuff that I

suppressed you know a lot of stuff about

my father and my complicated

relationship with him and and the

sadness of him dying um uh he suddenly

had a heart attack and and died right

you know close after Pitch Perfect one

came out um and I think just all these

little things in my

childhood

um that you know I just I guess I

never thought that that was associated

with my weight but it obviously was and

because I hadn't processed things it was

was like I was holding on to barriers it

was like the weight was a barrier one

for like intimacy for example you know I

never wanted a relationship or wanted to

be attractive or whatever and the weight

was kind of a barrier because that kept

all the people is do you believe that

I've heard that from psychologists a few

times even on this podcast before I've

heard one particular guy called Johan

har who wrote a book called Lost

connections tell me that in a study

where they looked at um women who who

were clinically obese and then they put

them through a weight loss program they

found that some of the women would then

re regain weight and the Catalyst for

that was them being hit on they

discovered in those women that there was

early sort of abuse or there was issues

so they made this link that sometimes we

use weight as a defense from sort of

sexual advances or and I definitely was

because I wanted to be in the fat funny

friend role which I played quite well in

real life and on screen because I didn't

you know I didn't want somebody to be

coming home with me and then seeing how

I really lived or felt you know why I

don't know I guess I just was

embarrassed or do you remember men or

women hitting on you at any point in

your 20s and then actively rejecting

them off so I literally was like for

some people like um but didn't anybody

come up to you whatever I was like no

like I honestly don't remember one

person um apart from the little

boyfriend I had when I was 16 which was

the most innocent thing ever where we

just held hands and maybe kissed once

but

anyways uh when I got famous from Pitch

Perfect there was like a waiter at chat

Marmont that like gave me his number and

like you know basically said you

know take me home with you tonight kind

of thing and I was shocked and I was

there with my buddy Matt Lucas and I was

like what do I do with this like it was

kind of like the first attention so only

when I

started like noticing any attention was

when I became very successful so that

did I almost felt like I was in

invisible attractiveness wise until that

point did you text the waiter no I

didn't but Matt goes you should have

what are you doing go go for it and I go

Matt no like I well I was so shy in that

area I was like I'm not just going to

bring a waiter home from the chatow

Marmont um we get a lot of people from

prison as well when I became famous they

like DM you and like go oh be my wife

and all this stuff like oh my God like

but no like I just unless I was just so

blocked off to that I didn't notice

anything you know I when a woman in

particular gets over 30 what I've heard

and especially considering some of my

friends who are women over 30 is people

around them sometimes start getting a

bit pushy like their friends start you

know come on re come on go for him I'll

give him a chance yeah did you feel that

sort of external pressure at all from

people my father would always say oh on

The Limited times we talk oh are you

seeing anybody i' always get so angry at

that question i' like why is he asking

me that as if I'd want to get married

like him and my mom were and how

terrible that was and I'd always just

get angry at it and just be like no and

just like I don't know it just shut down

about that issue is it because it came

from him who was yeah in particular and

I was like oh God what like out of all

the people to say something most people

didn't didn't say anything but I know

there is that pressure like uh for

single women over 30 you just get like a

little bit and but I felt it more in my

later

30s um and I I went on a dating app at

one point to like try to meet people did

that go cuz I was like well I actually

met some good people in real life yeah

it was like dating at um Rya that has

some celebrities on it they would let me

on it I tried when I was I tried when I

was 18 I didn't have anything going on

in my life but I tried and the problem

is you would have been great I think now

I think they give me a shot now but back

then I submitted my application when I

was like 19 so they're still looking at

the same application and I'm still in

the waiting list so but now I'm in a

relationship and I don't need that so

yeah you don't need it now so it's their

loss um but I was yeah no went on and I

you know dated a few great guys and

actually had had fun and it was good but

I had to because I was so behind the

eightball on dating and love and

relationships like I had to almost like

in my year of health I had to do like a

year of Love experiment before I did

that before year of health um to like

kind

of put myself out there which was hard

and challenging like it's a going on

dates and you got to get all dressed up

and you know and then go and have it

lunch or dinner with someone that you

might not know whether there's any

chemistry and and you were a virgin at

to 35 yes yeah that's right yeah so

going on those dates is there is there

anxiety in your brain because you know

if this date goes well there might be an

expectation that I go to the bedroom

with this individual yeah well that was

all later I mean weirdly the the guy I

lost my virginity to at 35 I was I was

set up with and and I

think part of why I think I might have

been attractive was because I was in

like a number one movie at the time and

whatever and that guy was like an

awesome guy and I'd met him and I'd

waited so long at that point I really

wanted to lose my virginity to someone

who I was really really into and I and I

just I really like this guy I thought he

was so funny and cute and um and

potentially like marriage material at

the time I met him and so and so when I

did my year of Love experiment that was

like a few years later so obviously I I

mean I don't think I could have done it

if I was still a virgin and going on all

these dates because um at least I had

some experience by that point but I

dated like 50 people in the one year in

2019 um to just get some I don't know

like to find like cuz I just was behind

the eightball I'd never dated properly

um so I needed to get some experience in

that area and and legitimately trying to

find the one but um yeah it didn't

didn't quite work out you mentioned that

you experimented with a zmek oh I did

but I wish I'd known about it in 2020 it

wasn't big then no I didn't even if I

had known about it I would have tried it

100% um but more for uh once I'd lost

like 35 kilos I was like I can't

continue working out and having this

level of focus like I can't and I was

very worried that the weight would come

back on and then now like I mean now I

have gained back um 10 kilos or so

because of um I guess having a baby I I

just can't work out in the level that I

used to and then I directed a movie

which was a lot of sitting on a chair

all day long and being stress still

stress heaing and which I'll get under

control when I'm you know not working 7

days a week um uh and so I've tried it

for a few months for like weight

management I guess you guess you'd call

it um I definitely noticed that it it

did I have like an unlimited ability to

eat sweets and chocolate and ice cream

and stuff and that drug helped um for me

not to feel full MH whereas I wouldn't

feel like that before I would just could

eat a ton of it like you know um so so I

actually actually liked it but um yeah I

know I think I actually think for people

like me those drugs can be really

effective but obviously I'm not on it

right now but maybe if I you know

prescribed it by a doctor I'd go back on

it when you lose weight your resonance

with your audience changes as well

because to I I think Adele spoke to it

as well and when she lost a lot of

weight she there was a

backlash yeah I mean I think there was

some people going oh she won't be funny

anymore but then I had this movie come

out senior year play a cheerleader who

went into a coma and then wakes up 20

years later and uh that was my first big

comedy and it got something like 89

million unique Netflix accounts watch it

in the first 10 days around the world

which was huge huge huge number so I was

like oh well I think they're probably

the people are wrong about that I won't

be funny anymore or but did they feel

let down people I think some people did

it's like say if you're in a family and

your sibling makes a change for the

better and then you feel like ah well it

makes me feel bad because I didn't make

the change and it makes me feel not as

good about myself so therefore I'm going

to hate them for for changing how dare

they change how dare they try to rise

above um and I think there is some

attitude but then you think to those

people what would make them happy you go

like the John Candy way and you die of a

heart attack or you know something

happens to you like

you get some serious uh I mean my father

died of a heart attack with

complications with diabetes so I was

like I was heading towards the diabetes

route if I kept going and I was like

well does that make those people happy

what you just say as you are and be

unhealthy and then you die prematurely

that's not a great outcome like what do

those people want but I think as a

comedian you have so many different

things in your toolkit uh and mainly

your personality and so even though it's

easy to go oh you have that physical

irregularity and that's why people love

there are so many other elements it's

not as simplistic as that and so I just

utilize slightly different things have

you noticed any change in the way that

people book you professionally or or

respond to you professional or the roles

you're given based on your well now I do

a lot more dramatic stuff I mean I'm

still obviously doing the comedy stuff I

mean I've just directed a movie which is

a big huge new career step but yeah I've

got a movie coming out the arm and the

seahorse here in the UK which is totally

serious and I just played Lady Capulet

in a film which is totally not what you

think I would I would do uh and it's

awesome but it's kind of how I started

my career doing Shakespeare and stuff um

before I was bigger and so it's kind of

coming back now to to doing that kind of

thing but more I noticed um I mean now

I'm kind of in the middle because I'm

like I've gained back some weight it was

so weird to be to be someone who walks

around the world kind of feeling a bit

invisible um attractiveness wise and

then suddenly I lost all this weight and

got so much positive validation like it

was insane like people would open doors

for you or carry your groceries to the

car for you or offer to do something for

you or whatever and I just it was so

weird to experience that and I've

experienced both sides of the coin like

to be kind of being invisible in that

area and then to be visible and it was

it was bizarre it was like the attention

and I was like oh is this what hot

people feel get all the time um and they

get this kind of positive bias in

society all the time um and I got such

positive reinforcement for losing weight

um from the press and from people like

every single person would make some

comment about it and and it's hard not

to fall into liking that and you know

now I've just been too stressed being a

director that I've kind of gone off the

band Health bandwagon but you've got I

will get back on it 42 years old you

underwent IVF and you had your daughter

Roy um but it appears you're still a

workaholic you just said earlier about

working seven days a week I know I've

I've come off a 9mon marathon of seven

days a week I did an action film um

called bride hard directed my movie The

Deb written the book and yeah so I'm

about to have a holiday what are you

doing it for um cuz you could you know

you've got multiple houses all over the

world you've got huge success you've

you've you've done it rebel I know and I

and my love life there is a happy story

to everyone listening I I have an

amazing partner Ramona who's absolutely

an incredible partner um and so that

story had had a happy ending as well I

keep saying to people I'm going to

retire now you know and then they're

like yeah you'll have like 2 days off

and then you'll have some idea for a

movie and then you'll want to do it um

so I think I'm always that little girl

who at the dog shows was like reaching

into bins to collect the aluminum cans

to earn money because I felt like I

didn't have anything cuz I didn't have

any money and so so part of me is always

that I have just have this drive to earn

money um and and that that motivates me

and it's weird like I achieve a goal

like coming to America was just to be in

one Hollywood movie but then you achieve

it and then it's not enough and then you

want you know and now like you know I'd

like to win an Oscar or you know um have

that level of success you know winning

the Oscars is going to change Zill I

know probably not probably like there's

a curse on some women that win the

Oscars uh then they sometimes their love

life crumbles and they they get no jobs

for 2 years when after they win the

Oscar sometimes it's like a curse see

you didn't see that in the hallucination

what happened after no I didn't see that

I just saw winning and feeling great

about it I mean I definitely know I need

a break over the summer and I will have

have fun times and I've learned how to

have fun now cuz before like in my 20s I

didn't even do that I wouldn't even go

on a holiday i' be like no I have to

keep working hard are you are you

concerned and I'm asking this really for

myself here because I think I am are you

concerned that you're going to look back

later in life and go you know what I

didn't have my priorities in

order yeah maybe and so I think having

my gorgeous daughter and looking at at

her she makes me want to like not work

as much and I think I didn't know how

she was going to affect my life um and

then now just knowing how much joy it is

just to be around her and it makes me

think less about myself and more about

her and my family um and so from that

level I want to um not not work as much

and I have to be a bit more selective

you one of the things that I

found I have to say awesome I'm just

going to be honest with you in your book

was um well there's so many things I

love the pictures and the whole design

of the book and how you weave humor into

what I consider to be pretty important

lessons of life

but oh you're holding up the redacted

Pages pages that that just have black

lines through them which means that

you've basically removed those sections

now you well I didn't remove them okay

the publisher the UK publisher did

because in the in the UK the laws are

different here around what you can say

about instances in your life yeah and

being a qualified lawyer I know you know

all about defamation laws um and it's a

bit um the the US is a bit more free

speech in in terms of defamation laws

and the UK and Australia have higher

standards this chapter is called Sasha

Barone and other other now

obviously I'm just going to take your

lead on this yeah but um this has been a

huge story and I saw on your Instagram