All right, everybody. Uh, welcome back.

Look, I've got a really phenomenal group

of women here with me to discuss

everything from relationships to

parenting. It's time for some straight

talk. [cheering]

>> All right. Well, let's meet today's

panelist. You can catch her on Empire

every Wednesday night on Fox. PLEASE

WELCOME MY FRIEND NICOLE Arri Parker.

[applause]

And she's been here many times. One of

my favorite panelists. She was on

[music] American Idol as a finalist. Uh

she's now a TV host and a beauty

blogger. Give it up for my buddy

Kimberly Caldwell Harvey. [applause]

And straight from Dallas, Texas. I have

known her for years.

Started out in radio together a long

long time ago. Put your hands together

for the host of DD in the mornings. Just

DD Maguire. [cheering]

[applause]

>> All right, ladies. Let's go. All right.

Here's the first topic. We've all heard

of helicopter parents, but apparently

there's a new category called lawnmower

parents. Lawnmower parents will go to

whatever lengths necessary to prevent

their child from having to face

adversity to having to struggle or

failure by simply mowing down any

obstacles in their child's path.

>> So, here's the question.

First of all, do you know any lawnmower

parents?

>> No.

>> Are you I'm gonna just tell you right

now, I don't

>> guilty. Do you really? No. No. I mean,

but I think to a certain degree that all

parents are kind of helicopter lawnmower

parents. Like, we're all just doing it

out of love to protect our children. So,

I don't think there's, you know, any

other reason for doing it. But I I think

that it's because we're all in a rush.

Like, I went to go pick up my

three-year-old from preschool the other

day and they said, "Harlo, put on your

shoes." And I go, "She knows how to put

on her shoes." Like, I literally had no

idea the kid could put her own shoes on

because I'm always in a rush. So

therefore, I'm like throwing on her

shoes. I'm shoving food in her mouth.

I'm wiping her butt. And I think we've

got to learn how to just like slow down,

take a breath, and give her the

opportunity to show me that she can do

it on her own.

>> Yeah. I don't know. As an

African-American woman, as a black

woman, I'm going be honest with you, I

don't know too many black parents that

are going to do that. Normally we're

told you got to work twice as hard, 10

times as hard or whatever. Our parents

are making sure we're ready for the

world to face adversity. So honestly, I

don't know any parents

>> we know how to make our bed and free.

[laughter]

>> My kids are 11 and 13 and my daughter

was born with special needs. So I kind

of naturally was a little bit

lawnmowery. Like she has to take her

medicine. She has to make sure she has

her special bag with her special stuff.

So there was a lot of troubleshooting

all the time. But she's going to be

she's 13 now.

>> And you know what's interesting is that

she had two styles of parenting in the

house. My mother stayed with me when she

was about 3 or four. And my mom was the

one was like, "Oh, we're going to load

the dishwasher."

>> Yeah.

>> Yeah. We're going to fold laundry. We're

going to sweep.

>> You learn how to do stuff and take

because see your mother had kids before.

[laughter]

>> Yeah.

>> By the time y'all had that second one,

hey, go on, sit down somewhere. You

know, they start hearing stuff they

never Marjorie taught me something about

parenting. She says, "Steve, all of our

kids wings work."

>> Good.

>> They got to start flapping them.

>> And Marjorie will leave you out there

hanging to dry. And sometimes I would

look her and go, "Baby, baby, let her

let her in. Let her do No, don't don't

let her do No, no. Let her go on down

there."

>> Yeah. They toughen up. They have They

have an emotional toolbox. Yeah,

>> they have they're resourceful and

resilient and that's all you really want

for your kids at the end of the day.

>> And what I'm starting to realize is she

she loves doing things on her own. It

makes her so proud to be able to do

things on her own. But I I have to say

that I saw her little cousin was like

shutting her in a door the other day and

everybody came running to save her and I

said, "No, no, no. Leave her. Let her

figure it out on her own because she is

now in preschool. So I wanted to see

what she would do." Well, she just stood

there.

>> So you went and helped. So, [laughter]

so finally before her face was smashed

in, I went over. I said, "Okay, this is

what you have to tell him." No, that's

not okay. I don't like that. And then

you got to push him on the ground and

kick him. And um

>> Wow. All right. I like that.

>> But well, YOU KNOW, STEVE, you bring up

a really really good point about the

second child because Sophie was the big

bossy big sister. Like I remember when

they were little, she was bossing him

around about something about putting the

toys away and doing it. And then I heard

Nicholas say, "Soof, you are not the

president."

>> Oh.

>> Oh, hey.

>> Wow.

>> Oh, thank you. She said, "Yeah, I am."

>> You know what? It's sort of crazy

because [applause] when Morgan was

growing up, she used to just boss Jason.

Just boss him, boss him, boss him. So,

they 15, 16. Jason's a boy now. His

strength is there. So, she's 20 and

Jason's 15. Well, Jason's stronger than

her now. [laughter] And so

[clears throat] one day Marjorie and I

were walking on a morning walk and we

came back and Morgan's coming down the

hill and she's upset because her brother

had been holding her, squeezing her for

15 minutes and wouldn't let her go. Come

to find out, Jason got tired of her.

>> He's strong now. He got some muscle. He

just locked her up and held her

>> until she started crying.

That was We ain't had no more trouble

out of that. You know, you bully me.

[applause]

>> Marjorie walked in the house like they

hadn't said nothing. Hey, listen. We got

to take a break, but when we come back,

we're going to be breaking down the

latest uh Halloween costumes that's got

everybody up in arms. So, keep it right

here.

[cheering]

[applause and music]

All right, everybody. I'm back with

today's straight talk panelist, my girl

Dee Maguire, Kimy Cwell, Harvey, and

Nicole Ari Parker. [applause]

All right, so now listen up. This next

topic might get a little bit racy, so it

make sure you get your kids out of the

room for this.

>> Uh oh.

>> Okay, so let's get to it. Uh Halloween

is around the corner

>> and there's already controversy with one

costume in particular after social media

went nuts with this sexy Handmaid's

Tails costume. The retailer Yandandy

decided to pull it from their site. See

the show The Handmaid's Tale is about

women who are assigned to rich families

and forced to be their surrogate. So, do

you ladies think that this is tonedeaf

or do you think people need to relax

when it comes to Halloween costumes? Is

it too sexy?

>> I Yeah, I I mean

>> I like it. I like it. I'm going to be

honest with you. I'm going to be honest

with you. I think it's sexy. I think it

is sexy. I think we're going too far

with this. We sit up here and we're

putting on priest outfits and nuns and

we're playing angels and we're doing

that's okay. But all of a sudden, we're

mad about this. And I'll be honest with

you, if I didn't have cellulite in the

back of my legs, I'd be wearing it. I've

been wearing it. That is gorgeous. LIKE

TO ME,

>> I like it.

>> Guys, I I I don't know. I mean, there's

so many messages coming at our daughters

right now. I think we got to be

>> No, BUT THE DAUGHTER IS NOT GOING to the

same party I'm going to when I wear

that.

>> I'm just saying, [laughter] you know,

there I don't think we should sexualize

the enslavement of women. I just don't

think that's necessary. I can listen.

[applause] I would be I would be a

naughty nurse every day of the week.

Okay? I am married for 13 years, ladies.

>> Everybody's hoping that happens.

>> Okay.

>> But I have to be conscious of that. I

can't go trick-or-treating as a naughty

nurse with my kids. I can't.

>> But at the same time, I have to say I'm

all about the women empowerment movement

right now. And you know, and I I just

feel the rush of it coming from all

these powerful women that are speaking

out. But at the same time, this is a

fictional show and I think everybody

just needs to like chill out. It's, you

know, and like you were saying, that's

not what you would wear now. Like when I

met my husband, I was like a sexy

Cruella Deville. Well, last year I was a

sumo wrestler.

>> Okay. You know, it's like in your teens.

>> But this IS HALLOWEEN THOUGH. EXACTLY.

We're supposed TO DRESS UP. LET ME BREAK

IT to you. You're in your 20s when you

have the body and you're single and

you're out on the crowd and you could be

every man's fantasy.

>> Have a problem. Sexy costumes. But what

if somebody came to your Halloween party

as a plantation owner and a slave?

>> BUT THAT'S CUTE.

>> NO, but that's real. But that's real

life. That's real life.

>> Hold wait

hold. Wait a minute. Wait wait wait wait

wait.

>> You can't come to no black people house

[applause]

as a plantation owner. [laughter]

You you

>> oh gosh.

>> Look, I'm not going to pick it the

website. You know, this isn't going to

take up my time,

>> but I'm not going to wear that for

Halloween. But you know, we live in a

society now where political correctness

is taking over everything. Look, if your

opinion and what you're doing causes

pain or is that the demise of a person

because of their race, their color,

their sexual preference, then okay,

cool. I'm with that. We we we ought to

put a stop there.

>> You bring up a really good point because

there's a lot of schools right now

discussing cultural appropriation. Are

they offensive to other races and other

cultures like the Native American

costume?

>> I did that once.

>> Kids are at the age where they want to

be they uh Moana, right?

>> And now some schools are are banning the

Moana costume. She's not. Yeah, I think

that's I think that is a great example

of throwing the baby out with a bath

water.

>> Who is Moana?

>> The Samoan princess. But even at her

school, we she can't even read Disney

books because of the violence.

>> But I think people are going far in both

directions. They want to do what they

want to do, but then then people want to

ban everything. I think that that if we

all pause for a minute, we could find a

happy medium. Let's say your child

wanted to dress up like a Native

American. Well, why don't you take that

opportunity to differentiate between the

Lakota, the Sue, the Cheyenne, the

Cherokee. Let them know who they're

dressing up as.

>> They got language do they speak? How

what food do they eat? Imagine if your

child went to school knowing full well

who she was dressing up as.

>> That's you know, see that. [applause]

>> Yeah. you know, as a learning

>> as a learning as a learning.

>> Yeah. See, I didn't have that issue when

I was growing up. I was I had the same

Halloween costume,

man.

>> And I had a brown t-shirt on and a box.

>> What were you?

>> I was a UPS man.

>> Oh my. [applause]

[cheering]

>> Hey ladies, thank y'all for being here

today. We'll be right back, everybody.

Hey everybody, uh welcome back. It's

time now for today's panel of fierce

women to talk about love, relationships,

and what's happening in the world. It's

time for some straight talk. [cheering]

>> Well, uh first up everybody from Dancing

with the Stars. She's a TV personality,

on air host, dancer, and choreographer.

Say hello to Carrie and Nabo. [cheering]

[applause]

Uh, next, she's an accountability coach

and fitness influencer. Uh, you've seen

on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

Please welcome Teddy Melanchamp.

[cheering and applause]

>> And for all you old school players out

there, her daddy is John Melon.

[laughter]

>> Okay.

>> Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah. [laughter]

And finally, she's a Grammy winning

singer, songwriter, and television host.

Uh, her album Reality Bites is out now.

Please welcome back my buddy Bridget

Kelly. [applause and cheering]

>> All right. [applause]

Now, Kerianne,

>> Julie Chen mentioned you in her exit

announcement. Would you ever consider

filling her seat at the table on the

talk?

Well, you know, I mean, when she made

that video announcement, um, I was

shocked because I I just I was so just

shocked that she even mentioned my name.

And of course, I mean, who wouldn't want

to take an opportunity like that, but

[applause] I mean, I'm still just kind

of in shock and honored that she even

supported her Asian sister. Not a lot of

women do that, but she's she was she she

showed me what she's made of. She's just

like, I support you, my Asian sister, as

she's going through so much. I have

respect. Yeah. [applause]

>> But that's really good, though.

>> Yeah. And I think it would be good too

because television has to recognize the

diversity of the world and they have to

reflect that.

>> Look at this right here.

>> You have to reflect

>> right here. Yeah. Thank you.

>> So let's get right to it. Uh first

topic. Uh it's common to experience

bumps in the road as you get to know

your partner. Right. Okay. But what

happens when you find yourself dealing

with the same relationship issues

repeatedly after reaching your oneyear

milestone? one year you've been in it,

but you keep going over the same things

over and over and over.

>> I I would say the first thing is you've

got to do a little self-reflection and

say, "Am I doing anything to cause this

constant state of confusion?

>> Am I being too selfish? Am I being too

selfless?" And if you get to the place

where you realize, you know what, no,

I'm actually doing the right thing and

your partner's not compromising, you're

not going to change them.

>> Right.

>> Right.

>> I also think that there's a bit of a

difference between patterns and like

your beliefs. So, I think a lot of times

people develop patterns because of the

family you were raised in, the friends

that you hang out with, your job, and

you get stuck in these patterns, and

maybe they're not healthy for the

relationship you're in.

>> That's okay because those are changeable

with time and patience. Right.

>> But I think if it's a belief, you can't

change that. If they're doing something

because they believe a certain way,

they're not going to be able to shift

that. So I think you need to know the

difference and discern is it a belief or

is it a pattern?

>> Yeah. Are you being patient or are you

being tolerant? Because at the end

tolerant tolerance of patience is a

there's a fine line. And honestly, a

year is a long time. The older I get,

the the more I value my time, right? A

year is a long time to figure out

whether or not

>> you're we're compatible or not.

>> Yeah, I agree. you know, within the

first three months, I think the red

flags are starting to show

>> and and some things some things are

personality traits, like you said,

habits or it's things that people need

to grow out of. Are you willing to grow?

I think a a huge red flag to me is what

are your personal aspirations that you

have not achieved yet? If a year into

it, you still in the same place, you

haven't achieved any of the goals that

we talked about in the beginning, we

need to part way.

>> Well, you know what? I agree with and

and plus, you know, here's what the deal

is. After a year, if you're if the same

fight is over the exact same issue,

somebody in that relationship doesn't

care how the other person feels.

>> Right. Right.

>> Period. You've got to do some

self-examination cuz if you keep doing

what you've been doing, you're going to

keep getting what you've been getting.

>> And so many times in the relationship, I

just think that people are locked into

these behaviors and then we both sitting

there not feeling good about it instead

of addressing what it is, right?

something. A relationship is nothing but

a series of compromises. [clears throat]

>> If you're not willing to compromise, you

cannot be in a relationship.

>> But also, I feel like people, women,

women especially more so I think,

although there's some men, they they

feel like they need to be in a

relationship. So, they'll put up with a

lot. Like, I feel like a lot of people

are afraid to be alone. Like, as a

single woman at 50, I get a lot of

people looking at me like with a little

bit of sympathy in their eyes. They

don't even mean to, but I don't need

sympathy. I'm making choices that feel

really good to myself. And yeah, it's

not what everybody expects of me, but it

feels really good. I think we need to

encourage that in people so they don't

stay in bad relationships. [applause]

>> But also in that same token, there are

the people that constantly

>> make you feel like they're in the

perfect relationship and they're so busy

promoting that they're in this great

relationship that they're not addressing

>> what's actually happened. No

relationship's perfect.

>> No. For Instagram, you got people just

post stuff make it look like we just so

happy. [laughter]

I mean, look, man. Nobody's happy all

the dog on time.

>> Not even a little bit.

>> I don't care who you are, man.

[laughter]

>> My wife mad at me right now.

>> Now she [applause] is.

>> Hey, folks, let's go. Up next, uh, some

new new research has found that children

as young as 8 years old are suffering

from body image issues.

Uh, we're going to hear what the panel

has to say about that when we come back.

[music]

All right, everybody. Oh, we're back

with today's straight talk panelist,

Kerianne and Naba, Teddy Melanchamp, and

Bridget Kelly. [applause and cheering]

All right, here's the next topic. Uh,

new research has found that children as

young as 8 years old are suffering from

body image issues that could have

serious and long-term health

consequences. One professor is claiming

social media can be toxic for children's

body image. Another study was done to

suggest that younger children already

aware of what dieting is and some even

might have even tried it ate trying a

diet. All right, ladies. What do you

think of this?

>> Why are we eight years old even on

social media?

>> Right. I was eight. I was I mean eight

years old is what? Second grade?

>> Yeah. Like in in second grade, I think I

was still trying to struggle to write my

letters all facing forward, right? Like

there should we should there the level

of of struggle and and and issue should

not be on social media. So I think

that's a that's a parental issue for one

and two, the body image stuff is is

tough. And I think I mean I have I have

a hard time with it because I think

there's a difference between being

overweight and being obese, right? To

me, childhood obesity is child abuse.

It's negligence. It's it's unfair to the

kid. It's not I just I have a a whole a

whole issue with it. And I think it's

it's less about body image [applause]

and more about health,

>> right? And I think

>> I think social media and healthy living

as a child go hand in hand because if

you're always on your tablet or your

phone or your filter or whatever it is,

you're not out doing active things.

You're not playing basketball. You're

not running around. You're not doing

active things with your family. So if

you're living a more active lifestyle

with your family, it shouldn't even be a

topic, right? I need to be a good role

model for my kids.

>> Yeah. [applause] And and doing that is

creating a life where they can be active

and where you don't even need to discuss

the food option. It's just what they're

living.

>> I feel social media is not going away.

Internet's not going away. And we live

in a day and age where there's just

access. Kids have access to everything.

So it's really important like what you

said about parenting. You've got to be

in there. I have a daughter who's a

stepdaughter from a a second fiance that

we never got married. It's a long story,

but but I'll tell you about that later,

but but she's wonderful. She's 21 years

old, but we talk about everything. And

at first, I was like, am I over talking?

Am I giving her too much information for

a young girl? But I realized it's out

there, so I better give her a place to

discuss it and ask questions. And I may

not know the answers, but I think that's

important.

>> I think that it's going to get

increasingly [applause] more difficult,

increasingly more invasive,

>> right? I think that technology is going

to go to places where you can see and

find out stuff about people. That's

really privileged information. I think

it's only going to get worse. I think

what has to be fixed though is there has

to be something put in place to protect

some people,

>> right?

>> Especially children.

>> It's like, you know, a a person can go

on the internet and say anything they

want to about you.

>> That's not right. No, man. That's not

right. Well, I mean the other part of it

is too when discussing things with

children and I I mean social media is

social media is it's a it's a scary

place like you said people are very

nasty and we've seen I mean we've

witnessed really tragic situations where

children take their own lives because

somebody left a comment that made them

feel like their life wasn't worth

living. I mean for for somebody to have

that kind of power I think

>> I think overall if I and I don't have

any children yet but when I have

children the the conversation is going

to be about

>> planning for the future right whatever

is happening in that space on social

media which is something even as an

adult I have to remind myself of it's

all temporary you have to make sure that

you set parameters as a parent

>> boundaries as a boundaries what you do

what you allow your children

>> okay but let me ask you this this body

shaming comes down to like unhealthy

eating habits

>> right How do you get a teach kids

healthy eating habits without implying

that there might not be that that might

not practice what you preach with their

body?

>> You practice what you preach. If you are

serving meals that you are eating

yourself and you're not talking about

it, but this is these are greens. They

help with this. This is whole grains

helps with this. You're teaching them

versus you should eat this because you

look this way.

>> You know what they say? As soon as you

say should to somebody, your inner child

GOES, "NO WAY."

>> YOU REBEL AGAINST IT. NEVER say like

should is not.

>> You just you sit down as a family and

you eat together, you eat the right

things. And then if you go to the a

birthday party, you let your kids enjoy

themselves with everybody balance.

>> It is. But just make it about

development, right?

>> Well,

>> and talk about you're planning for

planning for your future. We're shape.

We're trying to shape you. Your your

body is developing. So whatever we put

into it, we want to make sure it's

shaping for later on in your I also

agree with her because

you you have to set the example for your

children,

>> right?

>> So that's it. I love y'all, man. Y'all

should come back all day.

>> Thanks for being here today, ladies.

You're really [cheering]

the father, man. Really cool.

>> Welcome to the show, ladies.

>> Thank you so much.

>> Very classy group today.

>> But some straight talk.

>> Yeah, some straight talk. Let's do it.

Okay, here's the first topic. A rapper

Whiz Khalifa was recently shamed for

letting his son Sebastian take the

school bus instead of a private car

service since he's wealthy.

Should you give your kids a certain

lifestyle just because you can?

>> This is so wrong that people are shaming

him for this. First of all, you can say

whatever you want about Whiz Khalifa

being a rapper and his lifestyle and and

who the mother of the child is, but they

are very good parents. With Khalifa and

Amber Rose, if you follow them on social

media, you know that they are fantastic

parents.

>> The shaming on this, [applause]

>> it's so terrible. Kids are already

growing up at such a rapid pace. Let the

kid have a real genuine childhood. Not

only growing hosting it though, not only

growing up at such a rapid pace. I mean

already the life of a kid is very

isolated cuz they spend so much time in

cyerspace,

>> you know, so much time, you know, on

their phone playing video games and all

of that. Riding a school bus is a time

when you realize where you fit in the

world.

>> But maybe he shouldn't have posted it.

>> Maybe what?

>> Maybe he shouldn't have posted it

because when you are a celebrity then

you there's that security factor as

well. I mean, I'm not agreeing with

let's rip him apart because he's riding

the bus because every kid should ride a

bus. But if his dad is posting the

picture, that is a like a security for

him to ride the bus, right?

>> A security issue.

>> I don't post things about my kids.

>> I mean, look, they even the producers

asked me before the show, they said,

"Steve, how did you do your kids when

they were in high school?"

>> Cuz you know, my sons went to high

school, but they caught the bus. I got

drivers, but they don't have a driver,

>> right? I keep they haven't worked to

have a gun.

>> Earn some drivers.

>> That's right. Yeah.

>> I keep I tell all my kids, me and your

mama got money.

>> Y'all the poor people in the family.

[laughter]

>> So make the adjustment cuz that's where

you at. And I don't see nothing wrong,

man. It Look, what's wrong with letting

a kid have a regular moment?

>> That's normal. Yeah. I loved raising my

daughter in New York

>> because you walk through the streets. I

mean, and it's all there for everybody.

Everybody's got to walk over a puddle of

snow or a pile of poop. Y it doesn't

matter. You have to do it.

>> I also grew up in New York and rode the

city bus and I grew up in a middle-ass

neighborhood in Queens and rode the bus

to the Upper East Side in New York. So,

I really got to see the vast difference

of what growing up in my neighborhood

was like and then going to a fancy

neighborhood like the Upper East Side.

And that for me was more aspirational

than anything else. It made me hustle

harder. It just made me and being in New

York again just grounded me and like

everybody is on the same hustle. You

know, you have to do when

>> But you know, above and beyond anything

else,

>> who cares what other people think on

social media,

everybody has an opinion, but does it

really have to matter?

>> No, but it matters today we're talking

about this. So crazy. Social media has

changed the game. Fame is no longer fun

because of social media. Uh we going to

take a break. Uh but when we come back,

we're talking how to get money back from

an exhm.

>> It ain't happen.

>> This should be interesting. Don't go

away.

Hey, I'm back uh with uh today's

Straight Talk panelist, [clears throat]

the incredible Lynn Whitfield,

[applause and cheering] the fabulous

Tamara Judge, and the wonderful Julisa

Bermuda.

All right, let's get back into it. Next

topic. Money is one of the biggest

causes of stress in relationship, but

oftent times that stress doesn't go away

after you break up. We have audience

members here who are dealing with this

sort of thing. Where's uh Zena? What's

your question?

>> Okay, so Steve, I broke up with my

boyfriend recently, and while we were

dating, I lent him money. Now, I know

he's broke, but I still need to get my

money back, and I've been continuing to

speak to him because I feel like that's

the only way for me to get it back, but

I don't really want to continue doing

that either. So, what should I do? Why

are you dating a scrub? [laughter]

>> No. on that passenger side. I when I met

him and we started talking, he had all

these dreams and aspirations and I

bought into his dream and I was like, I

will back you.

>> How long were you dating him?

>> And how much money are we talking about?

We're talking about somewhere around

$800.

>> And we were dating right around a year.

Just long enough for me to see that the

dream was just what that was.

>> So, can you just write it off to a nice

learning experience?

>> Yeah. And [cheering and applause]

the thing is, was there anything in your

spirit? Anything in your ear, anything

in your gut when you went and wrote the

check or went to the ATM and gave him

the money that was saying anything?

>> Yeah.

>> Well, the issue was that I was giving

him the money because he couldn't pay

his own bills. So, I

>> But what I'm saying is something in you

say this may be a mistake.

>> Like, don't do it.

>> Yes. The thing is is maybe the lesson is

is that when your gut tells you I call

it

>> you know your whispering angels

>> say you know hold up this is not a good

idea

>> correct

>> uh don't do it and the other thing is is

don't date potential

>> right

>> that doesn't show that he's actually

making progress toward the dream

>> he got to be HE GOT TO BE YOU CAN'T YOU

can't date a guy that's going to get on

the ladder

>> you have to date a guy that's on the

ladder on the ladder.

>> He got to have his feet on the ladder at

least.

>> No matter how hard he's pulling up and I

love hard work and

>> that old that old I'm going to go start

something. No, no, no, partner.

>> If you're not working on it, you know,

cuz I think if you're loaning somebody

money in the future, like you got to

know that there's a chance you're not

going to get it back. There's always

that chance. And you know, not to plug

anything, Steve, but I've read your book

and one of the Ps

>> You better plug it. One of the one of

the three Ps is that man better be a

provider and you are not the one that's

supposed to be giving him any money. So

that was definitely a no no from the

start.

>> Okay, that's fair. Thank you.

>> And see here's another thing. [applause]

Lyn is saying it one way.

>> You can write this off as just a learned

experience, but I have a philosophy.

>> I loan money to buy people out my life.

>> Oh yeah. Yes.

>> See, I once I loan you money and you

don't pay me back,

>> you I've now bought you out of my life.

>> It just cost you $800

to rid yourself of a million dollar

problem.

>> And that is so little. Yes. [applause]

>> All right. I think that's pretty good.

We got time for one more. Where's mail?

[applause]

>> Yes. Hi.

>> Okay. Uh, what's your question?

>> Hi, Steve. Hi, ladies. Uh, okay. So, I

was dating this guy for just under a

year when he had to go away for work for

two months. And about a month into him

being gone, he broke up with me pretty

unexpectedly. Uh, when he got back into

town, I reached out to him for closure

and to give him back some of the stuff

that he had in my apartment, like his

clothes and some books and whatever. Um,

and instead of responding, he cut off

communication with me completely for 3

months. Uh, and now he reached out to me

out of the blue and

is asking how I'm doing and if we can

meet up and talk and he can pick up his

stuff

and

>> I'm [clears throat] just wondering what

his motives are and I don't know if I

should give him his stuff back.

>> Oh,

>> wait a minute. You're saying that he's

reached back out to you

>> after three months that he's been gone

>> and he wants

>> and he wants his stuff back

>> after you tried to reach out to him

before to give him his stuff back.

>> Yeah. When he got back to town after

being away, I wanted to like,

>> you know, tie because you wanted some

clothes stuff back and

>> Okay, I'm going to let the ladies

handle.

>> Well, I hope you donated his clothes to

a homeless shelter.

[applause]

>> I agree.

>> The thing is is that he gave you the

closure. Yeah.

>> That you need.

>> Yeah. [applause]

>> But by by not returning by not returning

your calls in that three months,

[applause]

>> you all deserve so much more than any of

it.

>> Sometimes people aren't going to give

you closure. You have to find closure

with yourself.

>> Yeah.

>> And when they do circle around, you're

already so f you have forgotten about

them. And and just to button it all up,

you know, there's an app now that they

will handle your ex's stuff and make

sure that they get it and you don't even

have to do anything. So, you might want

to research that one. [cheering]

>> And I'm I'm going tell you something.

Let me uh

>> an app.

>> Please listen to me. Men don't do

closure.

>> Okay.

>> We don't do closure. We don't we don't

have one final conversation

>> to to button it up like Jalisa said. We

don't we don't do that. We don't do

closure. It's over. We're gone.

>> Here's the closure.

>> Byebye.

>> You ain't heard from us.

>> It's over. Stop waiting on closure that

may never come. Like she said, provide

the closure for yourself. Get yourself

in a mental space and go on about your

business. It's not important why he

don't want you no more. I think you're

doing fine. [cheering] Ladies,

>> I want to thank y'all for being here.

[applause]

You want to

[music]