The "Happy Life" Scientist: How To FINALLY Beat Stress, Worry & Uncertainty! Dacher Keltner | E219
3015 segments
Life expectancy's been declining in the
last few years.
How do we reverse that trend?
These are the five safest things to do.
Dr. Dacher Keltner.
A renowned expert in the science of
human emotion.
Discovering ways on how we can improve
our happiness.
He's also the author of several books
including The Power Paradox.
I read just someone touching you can
make you live longer and be less
stressed. Is that true?
Yeah. There are all kinds of findings
that speak to this. You have premature
babies, they used to just put them in
these little units that warm them and
they would die. And then they figured
out they needed skin-to-skin contact
like you need food and they live. They
gain 47% weight gain. You know, the
deepest craving we have is to be
appreciated by other people.
If you want to be happy, practice
compassion. And if you want others to be
happy, practice compassion. If I am kind
to you, my act of kindness makes you
more kind downstream. And then that
person you've helped actually is kinder
to another person.
And they've proven that before?
Yeah. So like karma is a very real
thing.
It's very real. That'll save 8-10 years
of life. You've got to find a few
moments just to be kind.
Are we worse people the richer and more
powerful we become?
Yeah. So we've actually done
experiments, right? You know, it's a
movie about a child with cancer and
poorer people show activation of vagus
nerve which is part of compassion.
Well-to-do people, less activation. The
wealthier you are, the more you navigate
it for
serious economic policies that hurt the
poor.
Jesus.
And this is where it gets really
worrisome.
I just want to start this episode with a
message of thanks. A thank you to
everybody that tunes in to listen to
this podcast. By doing so, you've
enabled me to live out my dream but also
for many members of our team to live out
their dreams too. It's one of the
greatest privileges I could never have
dreamed of or imagined in my life to get
to do this, to get to learn from these
people, to get to have these
conversations, to get to interrogate
them from a very selfish perspective
trying to solve problems I have in my
life. So I feel like I owe you a huge
thank you for being here and for
listening to these episodes and for
making this platform what it is. Can I
ask you a favor?
I can't tell you how much um you can
change the course of this podcast, the
the course of the guests we're able to
invite to the show, and to the course of
everything that we do here just by doing
one simple thing. And that simple thing
is hitting that subscribe button. Helps
this channel more than I could ever
explain. The guests on this platform are
incredible because so many of you have
hit that button. And I know when we
think about what we want to do together
over the next year on this show, a lot
of it is going to be fueled by the
amount of you that are subscribed and
that tune into this show every week. So,
thank you. Let's keep doing this, and I
can't wait to see what this year brings
for this show, for us as a community,
and for this platform.
Dacher,
could you start by giving me your
professional
academic resume?
Uh
well, well, that it begins early with my
parents who were, you know, very
important in my education and my
formation. So, my dad is a visual artist
and my mom taught literature and poetry
and romanticism and got me interested
in,
you know, all ki- all kinds of things
about the human mind. Um
and then I was at UC Santa Barbara as an
undergraduate. Uh and then went to
Stanford for PhD.
Subsequent to that, worked with Paul
Ekman as a postdoc, who's
kind of a pioneer in the study of facial
expression. Uh
and inspiration for the show Lie to Me.
Uh and then became a professor.
Uh Wisconsin,
uh and then UC Berkeley for
27 years and
helped run the Greater Good Science
Center, which is about disseminating
kind of the new knowledge of meditation
and compassion and stress to
uh
a broad audience. And um have taught at
Berkeley,
which I love, for 27 years.
You referenced there the Greater Good
Science Center.
Yeah.
What's the What's the mission of the
Greater Good Science Center?
Yeah, thanks for asking. You know, um 20
years ago
uh post 9/11, um you know, we were in a
world much like post-Trump and uh Boris
Johnson and others, you know, like are
we are we fragmented? What happened to
humanity?
Um what happened to community?
Um why are um life expectancies in the
United States dropping the last 2 years?
What's going on, right?
that.
Yeah, striking, right? Really
disturbing. Um
and we had the conviction and there was
this new science of things like
if you have strong social ties, it adds
10 years of life expectancy to your
life, right? If you practice kindness,
um it quiets down the threat regions of
the brain.
And so we at Berkeley
in partnership with the journalism
school kind of had the sense early like
if we can get this knowledge out, right?
In actionable
prose where you read it and you say,
"Oh, I could teach breathing to my
my medical team or I could teach an awe
walk to my neighborhood friends. Uh that
would be good for the world, you know?
Um
I'm I'm super compelled by that.
Thank you.
The Greater Good Science Center. Can you
Let's talk about some of the things that
you've you've given away in terms of
knowledge.
Yeah.
And some of the sort of discoveries that
I think would surprise most people. You
mentioned some of them in passing there.
Yeah.
About breathing and awe walks and um how
you can add 10 years to your life.
Yeah.
What Give me some of the top-line um
more detail on some of those top-line
findings.
This really comes into focus for me,
Stephen, when I speak to medical
audiences. I do a lot of work with
health care providers. Um you know,
teaching medical doctors, residents,
uh helping programmatically with
kind of the spirit of hospitals and the
like. Um I talk about uh awe, that the
feeling of awe
um reduces activation in the
inflammation system in your immune
system. Your immune system is all these
cells distributed throughout your body
that helps you
protect against
dangerous elements on the outside,
viruses and bacteria. And the feeling of
awe
sort of reduces the activation of the
cytokine system, which heats up your
body. And if your body is always hot,
that is bad news for your heart. It's
bad news for your diabetes. And awe
helps moderate that.
I
you know, I teach the work on compassion
that, you know, 65-year-olds
who practice altruism and compassion
have greater life expectancy. Um, you
know, and and you can go on. Each of
these
what used to be thought of as kind of
new age soft things like awe or
compassion or breathing um benefit us.
You know, just simple breathing, if you
breathe in and out counting to four as
you breathe in, counting out to four,
actually increases neural density in the
this part of your brain, the prefrontal
cortex, which helps you handle stress.
What is awe for someone
Yeah, awe is just feeling an emotion you
have when you encounter something big or
vast that's outside of your frame of
reference right, of reality, that you
don't understand. That I I think I like
the word mystery.
Uh you know, wow, who I can't figure
this out. And and then that emotion of
awe stimulates wonder, right? Like, how
do I
why do peop- why do
rainbows exist? What you know, how are
they produced when water when light
bends through water molecules? So, it's
it's an emotion that drives wonder and
creativity.
What is the
um positive net impact on humans of
experiencing awe? Other than cuz when I
think of war I think of going to like
Machu Picchu and seeing those big
mountains and going what the hell is
this? This is insane. And I think of
that as being like a memory. Oh, that's
fun. That was amazing. I take the
picture, yeah, put it on my Instagram,
get the likes, go home.
Yeah.
But there's something deeper going on,
right? In one's physiology.
Yeah, thank you.
You know,
one of the fascinating things, Steven,
when you're, you know, is when you study
this complicated realm of emotion, is we
have these words that we all use to talk
about an emotion and they're much as we
have words about, you know, ethnic
categories or class categories. Oh, he's
lower class or he's
he's African-American. Those are just
words and concepts that may not capture
reality at all.
And awe
suffers from this, which is when people
talk about awe or they share it on
Instagram, they show they share the big
moments of like, I was at the Grand
Canyon or I was in the Lake District or
by this cathedral.
Um, but in point of fact, you know,
there are a lot of ways in which we feel
awe
all the time, right?
Uh, encountering somebody who's really
kind in the streets. You're like, "Wow,
that was really generous."
So, yesterday on the train, the team
were coming up to Manchester where I was
speaking
and an an elderly lady overheard them
saying that they were going to climb a
mountain for charity. The elderly lady
got up, walked over, gave them £5 and
said, "I climbed that once. Here's £5.
Put it towards the the charity."
Mhm.
And for all of us, it went into our like
company chat that that had happened. It
was a real moment of like an affirmation
of what it is to be a human and
kindness, I guess.
Yeah. And what's stunning to me, and
this is a a digression, is your story
just gave me the chills. And that's
amazing.
It's incredible, isn't it?
It is incredible that I wasn't there.
I've just got the chills myself. Just
Just you saying you had the chills has
just given me the chills.
It's amazing. And that we don't
understand scientifically the contagious
power of chills and awe. but you know,
awe
it it it's not the stereotype that we
are led to understand or think about
with words, it's around us all the time,
right? The generosity in the train, the
beautiful clouds, a piece of music, a
visual design, you know, driving here to
your studio, all the incredible design
of London, it's around us.
Um and so it's there every day and you
know, Stephen, I
I'm not a
I don't know why this happened to me,
but I've taught happiness to hundreds of
thousands of people online and in
classes and the like. I was a grouchy
kid, stressed out most of my life,
terrible meditator, but I was forced
into this job, and you know, serving the
science of happiness we've been talking
about, man, 2 minutes of awe
every other day
is about as good for you as anything you
can do, you know, it calms stress, calms
stress regions of your brain,
talked about inflammation, it reduces
inflammation, activates the vagus nerve,
which is this bundle of nerves that
wanders all throughout your body and
calms your heart rate, it's good for
digestion, so
you know, it's good news for the human
psyche. And when we talk about
giving a little stressed out
12-year-old, young 12-year-old some awe
each moment in a classroom,
we know that's really good for health
and creativity. So,
it it's good news in terms of what it
can bring to us.
Talk to me about some some science then
and that supports that um assertion
where
Yeah.
the science shows that everyday awe, so
like accessible awe.
Yeah.
The awe that I could go get out in the
street or that I could actively go
practice after listening to this
conversation has proven to have a
positive physiological impact on humans
or their emotions or their behavior.
Yeah.
Yeah, you know, this was one of the most
exciting developments of the science of
awe.
Um
when we started to get this picture of
the health benefits of awe, less stress,
a sense of time, reduce loneliness,
right? Loneliness,
40% of people in globalized cultures
feel lonely, right? That is hard on the
body.
We started to think about awe
interventions. Um and, you know, one of
my favorites uh
that has compelling health data, if you
will, is
um
a lot of people go for regular walks.
The UK is famous for its its walking
traditions, you know, it's one of the
great cultural strengths, you know, just
paths and, you know, and walks and, you
know, and etc. and and uh so, we just
added one element to
people's regular walk
uh and we called it the awe walk, which
is when you go out,
pause, take some breathing, deep
breathing, get synced up with your
footsteps. This is a classic kind of
walking meditation approach. And then
look for awe, right? Look Take a moment
to look at small things, look at the
reflection on this cool mug, then pan
out and look at, you know, the vastness
of where you are, city or nature, up at
the sky. That was it, right? And that
gets you into this awe mindset and our
participants were 75 years old or older.
Um at that age, a lot of data suggests
you start getting more anxious and
depressed, right? Your people you love
are dying. Your body's falling apart.
You are facing your mortality. And the
awe walk over eight weeks, once a week,
compared to a really rigorous control
condition,
led our 75-years-old participants to
feel less distress,
less pain, and more awe and joy in their
lives. So, it's just this simple
addition to a daily walk, right? Um
listening to some music, do it more
intentionally.
And and a lot of the studies of awe
are really simple, you know, just watch
an awe video, share an awe story, which
you shared to me that just gave me the
goosebumps, you know? That goosebumps
is a register, it's these little muscles
around hair follicles that are part of
what are called what are called your
parasympathetic autonomic nervous
system, which calm you down. So, share
stories of awe. So, so there's a ton of
ways in which you can build more
everyday awe into your life.
What's the evolutionary basis for this?
Um
the
you know, in 1978, I think, Richard
Dawkins published Selfish Gene.
Mhm.
Massive book, right?
You know, if you read that, it's it the
argument which is true, is that we we
are the we have these genes that are
replicating themselves through us. We
are these machines that replicate genes,
right? Uh and all of our characteristics
are ways to do that. And and it's all
the language is very aggressive and
adversarial. These genes are competing
with these genes. I'm competing with
other people in the game of evolution.
And there's been this massive shift in
evolutionary thinking in the past 40
years, where
you know, we're just starting to
discover, you know, around the world,
people share 40 to 50% of a resource
with a stranger if asked, just like as a
default. That's our intuition. Um we
have neurophysiological systems like
oxytocin parts of the brain and the
vagus nerve, which help us sacrifice and
give. Um we readily
are contagious in our feelings. Your
story gave me the chills.
And then my chills bounced back to you
and you got the chills. So, we're united
and connected. And now, you know, it it
the thinking is we're very cooperative
alongside violent and rapacious and the
like and and collective. We're
hyper-collective.
Um we synchronize with each other
physiologically. We mimic each other. We
collaborate unlike any other primate.
We're We're That's just who we are. It's
probably our big strength.
Um I think because in part um
hyper-vulnerable offspring needed a lot
of care, right? To live.
Food scarcity, warming in the face of
cold. And we need emotions
and social practices that make us feel
like we're collective. And awe
is it. When You know, it's It's so
striking, Stephen. I don't know if
you've had an awe experience in nature
recently.
Just being outdoors.
Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah. So, I went to I
went to Bali in Indonesia to write my
book in Ubud. And that's one of the the
places where I mean, you're in a
a vast jungle. But also, when you
whenever you get to the top of a
mountain, you look out across the
jungle. And I remember one particular
moment looking out across the jungle,
stood on this platform that was
awe-inspiring.
Yeah.
Um but also, I It's quite weird that I
My My awe-inspiring experiences in that
country are always just being on the
moped and going through the countryside.
Yeah.
Because there's because it's this It
feels like the essence of nature.
There's something about I don't know
what it is. There's There's just
realness to it that makes me
feel like I'm at home.
Mhm.
It's hard to explain, but
And that's
feel like you're at home, right? And
it's striking. Think about it
conceptually like here I am on a a moped
in nature with you know, the
the ecosystem's kind of moving into my
body and my brain. And out of that comes
the concept I'm home.
And that's what awe does is it says I'm
part of this people, right?
The other time was actually last week. I
was at Soho Farmhouse, which is a sort
of like a
uh like a hotel village they've
constructed where you can go on the
weekends to be in nature. And it was
actually walking back to my cabin. I
looked up up for the first time. And
obviously, when you're in the
countryside, you get to see the stars.
In London, you don't have that luxury.
And I looked up and I saw the stars and
I started talk like having a mental
conversation about what that is, like
what I'm looking at. That is a I mean,
that one over there is a bigger than
planet Earth and it's I'm basically this
tiny little into seemingly insignificant
piece of irrelevant dust. And that made
me feel a sense of awe.
The feeling is really
because I am so small,
I am part of this bigger thing. Like
you know, when you don't look up and
when you're looking down, let's say,
figuratively,
there's a sort of an individualism,
whereas like it's it's me. I am I'm the
center of the universe. When you look
up, you realize that you are irrelevant,
but therefore also part of this greater
thing, I guess.
Yeah, thank you for bringing that up,
you know. And one of the simple
actionable things that were we've been
teaching at Greater Good, we we have a
practice on this is look at the sky.
Just like look up, take a minute. If you
ask the average citizen in a city like
London,
when's the last time you looked at the
sky? They're like
Yeah, I don't see it.
Yeah, and it's powerful. Yeah, the you
know, one of the paradoxical qualities
of awe and and is this
shift, this transformation in sense of
self that you're talking about and it's
profound, which is, you know, in the
in one of the early writing traditions
around awe, which is spiritual
journaling,
a lot of people, early accounts of awe
in the Bhagavad Gita and Julian of
Norwich and you know, the great
Christian writings, almost every
spiritual tradition, the Buddha, uh it's
this like, "God, I'm having this
ecstatic awe mystical experience. What's
it like?" And they write about the the
self just like vanishing, you know.
Um psychedelics has a rich tradition of
ego death in it. Carl Sagan, you know,
has this great statement about space
like yours, like "Man, when I think
about the universe
look at me, I'm just this
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'm a little speck of dust, you know?
But the self is huge in our minds.
Yeah.
And awe
quiets it. It puts it into perspective.
And what's striking, Stephen, which I
you know, it took us a long time to
figure this out scientifically, is
it actually feels liberating, you know?
Oh, it's the Do you know what? When I'm
stressed, I I remind myself of how
insignificant I am. Because stress is
often the like the um the like the fatal
decision to overestimate the
significance of your your your problems.
Like relative to you know, to whatever.
But the other day I was I was a little
bit um I was overthinking something a
lot, and I could feel myself getting a
little bit stressed. And
I rem- I reminded myself of looking down
on a plane
Yeah.
over a country, and just how irrelevant
I am in the grand scheme of things.
Because of Well, you know, I became a
dragon on the on Dragon's Den, and
the podcast became bigger. You know,
it's it's easy sometimes to fall into
the trap of when there's a lot of people
talking about you or writing about you
to to to think that this is the center
of the universe in some respect.
I'm leading a a movement of 2 million
people.
but whenever I go up in on a in a plane,
and I look down, I go nothing that I do
is really mat- matters in a good way.
Yeah.
It's funny cuz it's a paradox. It's like
I want to be empowered, and I want to
think that I matter.
Yeah.
But at the same time, I I I I like to
realize that I absolutely don't matter
in any respect. And I love saying this
to people because it you can see ego
square.
Yeah.
When you go When you put in context that
we are as an an individual
we absolutely don't matter. You know, in
the in the millions of whatever billions
of years that the universe has existed,
we are just this blink. And I'm just
this irrelevant speck of dust.
And once I'm gone, you know, give it
another million years, no one's even
going to remember.
Yeah.
Or whatever. Probably couple the couple
of years, but
But that's what's great about art and
the human mind, right? Is we we need the
ego and the self, and we need to
maximize our interests and desires and
reproductive possibilities etc. status,
you know, all that
obsessive stuff. But man, we have this
great realm of transcendence that awe is
part of that, you know, and in our
studies, you know, we we literally we
took students up to this tower on the UC
Berkeley campus. They got to look out at
the and they no longer felt stressed
about things. We had students look up
into trees and just admire these We have
a lot of tall trees on campus in I hope
you visit it sometime that are beautiful
and tall and make you feel like you
know, there we have redwood trees that
are a thousand years old, you know, that
oh,
this little moment of consciousness that
is so self-critical or
or stressed or or
ego maniacal is just a moment in time of
seven nine billion people.
It's you know, for me
personally it was liberating to find
this in awe like like you're saying like
this is all this is just one human's
effort. So.
Why did you write this book?
Of all the things you could have written
about, you're a very smart individual.
You've studied so many things relating
to sort of social sciences and how
humans behave and why we why we do what
we do, but to commit your life to
writing a book about this subject matter
Yeah.
is writing books is not easy.
Yeah.
Takes a long time, a lot of effort. You
have to promote them etc. Why this book?
And why now?
Yeah.
Thank you for asking that. Um
Yeah, you know,
um
it is hard to write books and we had
done a lot of research on awe and
you know, one of the reasons I wrote the
book was
um
you know, I'm now at an age where I've
been following how we're doing as
cultures and
and a lot of the things that have
surfaced here, Stephen, are true. Like,
you know,
people feel lonely, they feel
um um
adrift. They're searching They're
searching for something more meaningful
than
elevating a paycheck. And And I felt
that awe was part of that story.
That awe gets us to what is meaningful
to us as individuals at a moment in
history.
Um and then
uh my younger brother died. And he
um
he was He was born
uh I'm 1 year older.
We had this wild childhood, you know, of
like born in Mexico and
raised in the late '60s in Laurel
Canyon, a very experimental place,
wandering the foothills of the Sierras,
and
and uh
he was
my source of meaning in many ways in
life. Um
and he got colon cancer and died.
And it was brutal and horrifying. And at
the moment of his dying
uh the last night he uh sitting by his
bed
and um and he he was my moral compass in
life. You know, he really He was very
courageous.
Super kind. Uh really only cared about
like devoted his career to the least
uh resource kids in the country, these
poor poor kids. And um
when I was watching him die
uh I had an awe experience. I was like
you know, what is going on? He seems
really calm.
He's heading into a space I don't
understand. I saw like pulsating light,
you know, that was uniting everyone
around him in this sense of reverence
and
the sacredness of of his life. And uh
afterward um
I was uh knocked into a really profound
state of grief where um this is about 5
years ago.
Uh I couldn't make sense of the world.
You know, I could do my work. Um,
but I just didn't I was lost cuz he was
a very important voice to me.
You know, and I was waking up, wasn't
sleeping, panicky, and and I like a lot
of people in grief, I was like,
you know,
hallucinating. Like I would see him,
follow a guy in the streets, like, and
it wasn't him.
I'd wake up thinking he was there. I
felt his hand on my back a couple times.
And uh,
it was weird. I was I I had this
epiphany in this really bad state of
mind.
The worst I've ever felt, like,
um, I got to find awe again, you know, I
have to my brother,
you know, he and I went dancing and did
wild things and backpacking and, you
know, just live this life of awe. He was
my source and he was gone.
Um, and so I wrote the book, you know,
and I I dug in and
just started writing about him.
Uh, and he features prominently in the
book, you know, what he meant to me and
how I grieved his loss and then worked
up the science too.
So, in many ways, you know, what we're
observing in our our globalized culture
is is this
the problems of capitalism, the search
for meaning, the you know, rising the
reduced life expectancy US, rising
anxiety, depression.
And I was kind of in that state. You
know, suddenly like, "Wow, my career's
good, but
uh, you know." And so,
um, knowing a little bit about the
science, I was like, "I've got to do
this myself and go get it."
Did you find that awe again?
I did. It it it
it it took
a lot of work, you know, I was in a
really tough place and uh,
you know, I
um, I just was I just started anew,
like,
"Where do I find meaning? And I find
meaning working with prisoners.
I don't know why, you know, um but just,
you know, being in prisons,
volunteering, helping with a formerly
incarcerated.
I challenged myself to
find awe in places I wouldn't ordinarily
find it. Like just to open my mind,
like, "Woah, I'm at a symphony, you
know, I love African music and Sona
Jobarteh and, you know, and here I was
in the symphony not understanding it but
starting to feel it. Um you know,
nature's easy for me. I've always
backpacked and gone into the mountains.
I had a lot of spiritual conversations,
you know, of like, "I'm not a religious
person."
And I was like, "What is this? You know,
why why mystical awe?" So
and what it gave me, I think,
with respect to my brother's death, is
an openness, like
we don't know what life is. We don't
know where it goes. We don't, you know?
Uh and it opened my mind to a lot of new
sources of awe.
There's almost an injustice I heard in
that story because of the way you
characterized your your brother and his
behavior.
Yeah.
For him then to have
passed early from cancer
Yeah.
feels in many respects to me like the
opposite of awe or
you know, the universe being
uh
compassionate or fair or whatever. And
that
Yeah. Yeah. It hit me hard, you know, it
was uh
and that's well put. Like for the first
year,
you know, you you ask these questions,
like, "Why would a guy
who teaches speech therapy to the
poorest kids in the United States go and
is it with a teenage daughter and a
young family? Come on, you know, come
on." And Donald Trump is, you know,
indestructible and you're like, "The
world is [ __ ] you know." And and I
grappled with that
uh
very hard.
And then I was, as you well put, I was
in this antithesis
state of awe, I was like nothing meant
anything.
You know, it was all pointless.
I could sense nothing bigger about life
that mattered.
And that's why
you know, that's why I said, "All right.
I have this career that allows me to
do these investigations." And we're all
investigating. We're all
searching for these things in music or
moral beauty or being in collectives or
sports. And I just threw myself into it.
And And uh
And you know, frankly, um
it, you know, the idea of everyday awe,
which is very important in the book. We
can find it anywhere.
You know, on the train with the act of
generosity. That is now it just feels
alive all the time.
What What's kind of the three lines of
gratitude? Because when you were talking
about the old walk
Picked up the the this
um mug, the silver mug we have in front
of us.
Yeah. And you started admiring it. It
almost sounded a bit more like gratitude
to me.
Yeah.
And even the the the study where you had
the elderly um participants do the walk
and then sort of self-report I'm
guessing on how they felt.
Yeah.
It sounded like nature also gives us a
sense of sort of gratitude for our
lives, for the world we're living.
Yeah.
What's the distinction or difference if
there is one?
Yeah, what a terrific question. And
there's a
deep philosophical tradition um of David
David Hume, Scottish philosopher,
um Charles Darwin, uh Martha Nussbaum
more recently, a Chicago philosopher
that
we and it really animates a lot of this
conversation, the work I've done is like
we have these amazing emotions that are
like deep intuitions about the world
that are good for us and good for the
world. You know, compassion, take care
of people who are vulnerable. Awe, you
know, connect to others to face vast
mysteries. And gratitude, uh Adam Smith,
the great economist, felt like this is
the emotion that holds societies
together, gratitude. The feeling of
reverence
for things or like, "Wow, this is really
important and sacred."
of things that are given to you.
And that is key. Like, "Oh, my friend
helped me with my work. Um my work
colleague brought me lunch.
Um you know, my my child did the dishes
tonight." You know, "Whoa.
Um I feel grateful."
Gratitude, really close to awe as as you
intuit, but it tends to be different in
that awe tends to be about vaster
things. Like, you know,
uh you almost get into a car crash or
you get into a car crash, you almost
die, and you're like, "Ah, I'm just I
feel awestruck that I'm alive, you
know."
And then awe has more mystery
to it. You can't understand it.
Like music or
Right. Like music Yeah, exactly. You
know, music rushes into you
and you start crying, right? And you're
like, "Oh my god."
So, what's a recent experience of that
for you?
Of music?
Yeah.
Um it would be
Where you just start sobbing and, you
know, or not sobbing.
Oh, sobbing.
Or chills.
It would be We do this live show for
It's called the Driver Seat of Life, and
we toured the country last year. We did
three nights at the Palladium, then we
took it to all these theaters. And I'm
stood and there's a house gospel choir
of about 40 people behind me for the
whole 2 hours while I'm speaking.
Yeah.
And I mean, Jesus.
Yeah.
They sing a lot of like religious songs
as part of the the message that I'm
conveying. And I mean, every night I'm
you know, I'm crying. It's funny cuz I
rehearsed it. I rehearsed it. I
practiced I practiced it. But then with
the people there, the audience of 2,500
people and the choir there, I would cry
every night.
Yeah.
Which is bizarre which is strange,
right?
Isn't it striking?
It's a it's sense of connectedness,
maybe. I wonder why in the live show,
when there's thousands of people there,
then I feel the most intense emotions
Yeah.
versus when we're in rehearsals.
Yeah.
That's a complicated question. But your
examples tell us, you know, that you the
vastness of that experience of like,
"Wow, there are sound waves that I'm
producing
and that are moving bodies. I see this
pattern of movement, and I am part of
that." And as the poet Ross Gay says,
these boundaries between self and other
become very porous. You're like, "Whoa,
we're all one organism." That's awe,
vast, and and I don't understand why.
Gratitude is more, you know, you're at
the show and
you know, somebody looks you in the eye
and smiles and and you feel like they're
grateful for you. It has this more
readily understood economy to it almost
or um
and why, you know, in writing about awe,
um
the you know, there are some things that
are intuitive like, "Oh, nature makes us
feel awe." And people's moral beauty and
kindness, your story on the train.
But how in the world music
sound waves hits our ear, produces a a
neurochemistry in the brain, and the
next thing you know, you're crying, you
know, and feeling one.
That's amazing to me. And we still I
don't know if science will ever answer
it, you know, it's it's just the
transcendent power of music, and you're
lucky to share it.
Do you have any insight into the
positive impact that gratitude has on us
based on any sort of studies that have
been done?
It's huge. And you know, Stephen, like
when I following and teaching the
science of happiness literature for
25 years, you know, at UC Berkeley, I
started teaching a happiness course. I
think it was Harvard and us were the
first 25 years ago in tracking like,
"What are the What are the things you
can count on?" You know, and when I go
out and teach happiness, um it's very
humbling.
Like you asked me in some sense um a
related question to have a parent come
up to me
and say, "You know, my son is massively
depressed and suicidal. What do I do?"
You know, and obviously you go see a
therapist and you've considered
medication, but
the happiness literature can point to
like
these are the five
safest things to do. Social connection,
uh develop some way to
use your body to calm down, breathing,
yoga, sports, whatever. Uh and gratitude
is a winner. And I think awe is up there
now, too, but you know, gratitude, um
practicing gratitude
uh benefits the cardiovascular system.
It helps people who have heart heart
vulnerabilities.
Patients, they do better.
Uh it is uh very good for your place in
social networks. Like, I join a group.
I'm I'm worried. I'm socially anxious.
What do I do? Practice some gratitude,
you know, say thank you and uh show a
little appreciation to people. You will
have stronger social ties. Uh we did
research showing it's good for romantic
bonds, you know, the
if partners simply say on occasion,
like, "Hey, thanks for doing the
dishes." or "I appreciate how you the
jokes you tell." or "I love your music
selection." it helps, right? So, it's
it's
a safe bet for a happier life.
You know, this I've come to learn that
there's so many forces in our day-to-day
lives that act against gratitude and um
stifle its presence. But in the context
you've given there, whether it's in a
social group or at work or in a
relationship or even with yourself, I've
come to learn how important it is to not
rely on gratitude just showing up, but
to try and create a system for frequent
gratitude. Now, one of the things that's
been a real unlock for me, my companies
over the last couple of years, is in
every company that I run,
we have a gratitude chat. Yeah. So, it's
just a channel Yeah. And it's open.
There's really no instruction, but it's
funny that we we we created the channel
first at Social Chain and then in my
current companies
and when you just create the channel,
what happens is gratitude pours in.
Yeah. So, today there'll be I I can
guarantee at some point today there'll
be a message in there that says, "Thank
you so much, Ross, for going and getting
me that cup of coffee um that I didn't
ask for, but you knew that I needed it
or whatever." Or, "Thank you, Jack, for
helping me lift that box upstairs." And
it pours in and and it's such a simple
thing to do, yeah, but it creates this
insane um
um
hard to understand amount of like
connectiveness
and appreciation. And I imagine for the
individual on the receiving end of the
gratitude
um
a sense of like worthiness or or
respect
respect or
Come on, yeah.
And it's such a small thing to do
It is.
that I think every company should
consider, which is having a a system to
move gratitude friction free across your
organization.
Yeah.
To back bind it together. But in your
personal in your relationship, the same
thing.
Yeah.
Like you can rely on it being a you
know, your partner helping you with the
bags or helping you with your packing or
whatever. But it would it's great to
also in a relationship have a a system
for
Yeah.
gratitude.
And what I love about your system,
Steven, you know, I've taught gratitude
in a lot of organizational contexts and
sometimes people force it like, you
know, "Okay, let's see what we're
grateful to
for each person in the in this you know,
this meeting." And it's like, "Oh god,
you know, that's tricky." But to allow
it to be spontaneous and intuitive like
you did, right? And let it flow. That's
that's the strong
source and and manifestation of
gratitude. And it reminds us, you know,
in Western European thinking, probably
largely Western European male thinking
has been so hostile to emotion.
Uh this is what I was saying when I said
there's so many forces acting against
it.
Yeah, and it's just like
why would you ever say thank you? It
makes you weak. It makes you vulnerable
and the like, etc. Um but
there are a lot of great thinkers from
David Hume, Adam Smith, Charles Darwin,
you know, early a lot of the East Asian,
you know, contemplative philosophies
like
our best human tendencies come out of
emotions of gratitude and express them.
Um, and and I think that your example
speaks to sort of a a big shift
culturally and
what do we do with these emotions at
work? They're really vital to our sense
of connectivity and community.
Makes me think a lot about
relationships. And I know this is
something you've written about
extensively. The the role that romantic
relationship plays in health outcomes,
etc., etc. But then I also was I was
pondering this idea of monogamy broadly.
Yeah. Whether So, my kind of question is
kind of two-fold is are we meant to be
monogamous? Yeah.
And also
this I'm thinking a lot about how the
relationship dynamics in monogamy is
changing in some in some ways eroding.
Yeah.
I was reading some stats around marriage
and how people are getting married less
and
you know, having less kids and all these
kinds of things. So, what's your
thoughts on all of that? Are we meant to
be monogamous? You've done a lot of
research on apes and you've talked a lot
about them in your in your work. But are
we meant to be monogamous?
And if so
how does that relate to the fact that
being in a relationship extends our
life?
What a terrific question. Well, you
know, anytime that you pose these
questions, right, you have to remember
um, you know, and I always approach
things from an evolutionary framework.
You know, which is humans are many
different kinds of individuals, right?
There's massive individual variation.
And when I, um, you know, and there's
cultural variation. So, some cultures
will be less monogamous, others more.
Um, yeah, I think that I think that, um,
the the safest answer we can offer and
it and it's dispiriting and I teach it
to my young students at Berkeley is, you
know, I hate to tell you this, but
you're in love right now, but odds are
very good that that's not going to be
the last relationship you're in. And so
we tend to move from one semi-committed
relationship to another. Mhm. Um so
serial monogamy or uh is is is what many
believe to be kind of our default
orientation. There's variation around
that. Some
are more polyamorous, others are really
fiercely monogamous given genetic makeup
and cultural makeup. Um
my belief is
um and and your generation is really
bringing this to the fore, which is that
the old model of single monogamous
relationship for 60 years
uh probably is not working. When you
look at divorce rates, 50%.
Those people who stay together, half of
those marriages are really pretty
unhappy. So it's it's not working. You
look at certain cultures, I I was
struck, Stephen, recently I was
you know, the Scandinavians always do
really well in happiness measures,
right? And I was like and I just Google
like
you know, what is the um
is sort of living configuration,
romantic relationship configuration in
Sweden. Sweden has really high rates of
people
co-parenting but not living with the
parent, right? And that may be a model
to be moved not not living with the
partner, sorry.
Mhm.
Um and so I think that we have
many kinds of love.
Uh one of them being a monogamous love.
Um it it puts a lot of pressure to uh
with this old kind of romantic,
chivalrous, Victorian ideal of like
that's the only person. I don't think
that works, right? And so we're we're
moving towards more flexible
arrangements
where we express many kinds of love and
and it comes with a lot of
complexity. So I when I teach
love
I say there are all these kinds of love,
right? Walt Whitman
loved friendship, You know, I I mean,
friendship love and in a lot of the
data, friends
give you more happiness than any kind of
relationship, right?
Oh, I shouldn't say. I shouldn't say I
agree. My girlfriend is somewhere
upstairs.
You're young, man. You got You got time.
I'm You know, I understand. I
understand.
So, the I think this this model of like,
you know, singular devoted all-consuming
romantic love has misled us. And we need
varieties of romantic love, which your
generation is creating, which is
exciting. And then we need to remember
the other forms to to have the rich
life. And then you get at that, you
know, I got the right social
configuration to give me those 10 years
of life expectancy.
I've always been going back and forth
about marriage because I understand that
some people say marriage is a
a system that allows for the rearing of
kids. Um,
it's a it's a form of commitment, which
changes things in the relationship. But
the
But I have always wondered if there's
another way.
Yeah.
That's more, you know, where which kind
of
I don't know. It's a controversial
topic. Is there another way? Like, I'm
not even sure me and my partner would
get married, but I'm sure we'd make some
kind of commitment to each other, but
you know, I'm not sure involving the law
and church and all these things in the
in the process is necessarily
conducive with a productive outcome.
I know. And not only that, but just
think about like, you know, I'm going to
be Wait, I'm going to do everything from
physical exercise to streaming movies to
cooking food with one person, right? Um,
you know, it's interesting, Stephen.
Um
the there's this really striking
literature. You know, one of the raw
facts of our evolution is our offspring
are very vulnerable. They're the most
vulnerable offspring of any mammal on
the face of the earth. They take 7 to 8
to 20 years just to I even say like 55
years to, you know, to even be
semi-functioning as an individual. But
what that meant is love
in our our hominid evolution was
distributed in communities, right? And
there's this concept called
allo-parenting, which is
we all kind of take care of young ones,
even if they're not our own. We're all
affectionately related to each other in
that work.
We're all There's much more sexual
fluidity in that dynamic that probably
reflects the truth of today that we
don't face with this Victorian ideal of
singular romantic love.
And and maybe your generation is moving
us toward
that that
sort of more communal approach to love
uh of And it's complicated, right? It
involves different ideas about sexuality
and different ideas of caregiving,
um but probably healthier. And I hope it
happens.
Why why won't it work?
And why doesn't it work? Cuz I you know,
when we think about polygamy or um pop
being polyamorous. I don't know the
difference, I've got to be honest.
Yeah.
They sound similar.
Polygamy, multiple wives. Polyamorous,
multiple people you love.
Okay.
Yeah.
So, when we think about those polys
Yeah.
um it it seems impossible in the modern
world to
to execute a poly situation
without jealousy and all the other
[ __ ]
Yeah. And you know, I grew up raised
around hippies. You know, my parents
were counterculture. I grew up in Laurel
Canyon in the late '60s, very wild
place. And I saw a lot of this as a
young kid, and it was comical. You know,
it's like, who You're fighting over the
dishes and I don't get to sleep with my
wife tonight? That's
He gets my my roommate does? Ah, you
know. It's hard, you know. Um yeah, uh
you know, and a lot of things get in the
way. I think that, you know, I I forgive
me, but you know, I think of the US and
how much
of United States culture is designed
around, you know, the nuclear monogamous
family
Mhm.
of, you know, single homes,
suburbs, driving in a car, um you know,
really structured around that and and
maybe that's
poor design. It doesn't seem to fit our
evolutionary past of being
in these, you know, these collectives
that are sharing in the raising of
offspring and um and sharing in
to a certain extent in romantic
partnership, so
Are you married?
Yes.
You've been married for a long time?
Yeah, through
uh
90 I think it's
33 years, something like
Wow, dude.
Yeah.
Important context.
Yeah.
So, you know, cuz some people might, you
know,
think that um you were like
anti-marriage or anything like that, but
you're clearly I can see from the ring
on your finger.
No, but yeah, but I grew up around a mom
who, you know, she
taught women's literature and feminism
in the '70s and, you know, that early
feminist critique of marriage is right.
Mhm.
You know, early on it women did a lot of
the work.
It constrained them. It cost them in
terms of job uh mobility, and so
I've always questioned it. And then I
think the evolutionary literature we
talked about is like, "Wait a minute.
Maybe love is more distributed. It comes
in many varieties.
Mhm.
And that's how we get this love work
done, so
I'm glad you guys are questioning it,
seriously.
Yeah.
luck.
Yeah, we we The good thing is we're
really like we're really open to new
things as in we're open to like
building new systems for our
relationship in the modern world based
on how we feel. We're We're very good at
being um resistant to like social
pressure to to follow a a conventional
path.
Yeah.
So, even with Valentine's Days and
things like that, we have a conversation
about like does this make sense? Like
why would we do this? And what's more
important?
Yeah.
Which a lot of people don't. I've been
in relationships before where
you you you don't hit the perfect like
social cue to show up or give flowers or
whatever, and you get like a [ __ ]
an essay and you're, you know,
a bad guy for that day, but um
Going back to one of the points you
said, you were talking about how men in
particular struggle to show
express those emotions.
Yeah.
Um and you know, stereotypically we're
not as uh affectionate and kind as as
our female counterparts. One of the
things that you talk about is
the difference in social class.
Yeah. Yeah.
And how things change.
Oh, man.
Are
are we
worst people the richer and more
powerful we become?
Because your research seems to show that
Yeah.
I would say yes. Um and I'm sorry to say
that, you know, it's it's uh
you know, we um
uh
I got interested in social class um
actually living in England. You know, I
lived in England in 1978.
Um and you the United States is very
blind to social class. We're now more
aware of it, Bernie Sanders, etc.
Rightfully so, 1% critique.
You know, '80s, '90s were just blind to
it. It was a more egalitarian time, and
I lived in Nottingham, England, very
working-class town in a very tough time
in England's history of, you know, coal
strikes and the like, and it was tough.
And and the English
had this
um
just much more sophisticated
understanding of class and
differentiations between
on the dole and working class and posh
and, you know, all these categories. I
was like, "Wow, class is everywhere. It
affects how people speak and dress and
eat and so forth."
And so, we started to apply social class
to what we've been talking about, like
the compassion, awe, gratitude, and
empathy, kindness, sharing, altruism,
and just, you know, across um
studies and and, you You largely in the
United States, so I think you could
question whether this applies to Holland
or UK or Japan where there there's less
inequality, I might add. Um, you know,
as you rise in wealth and privilege, you
share less, you feel less compassion to
images of suffering.
You know, you see an image. This was a
striking study to me of, you know, it's
a movie about a child who has cancer.
And poorer people show activation the
vagus nerve, which is part of
compassion.
You know, causes you to like want to
help. Well-to-do people, less
activation. Uh, they feel less awe. As
you rise in the social class hierarchy
in the United States, um,
uh, are more impolite. And so, that was
part of my power power paradox book was
that story about class. I, you know, I I
hesitate, I worry about like am I worse
person?
And I you I'd rather use your earlier
language of like, what are the
structural conditions that get in the
way of this?
And you think about, you know,
rising in in wealth and privilege and
class as introduced you you create a
life
that makes it harder to be kind. You
know, that you're people are assisting
you with things and
um, you don't come into contact with
suffering.
You know, you're living in a
neighborhood in the United States or
probably UK where it's like,
you don't see it, you know? And so, you
it doesn't train those tendencies.
And you know, frankly, um, Stephen, I,
you know,
I think this is increasingly true in the
UK,
but in the United States, uh, you know,
with one in six people impoverished,
uh, life expectancy is dropping,
you know, 6 700,000 unhoused people in
the United States. Where I live,
Berkeley, California, everywhere you go,
you're
bumping into somebody who doesn't have a
home.
I I think it's our central failure it in
the US is
how
privilege
has short-circuited our our better
human tendencies.
How do we know that
it's the increase in wealth and social
class
that is causing us to become
less kind, um, less empathetic, less
compassionate, or it's just
[ __ ] go further.
Yeah. Yeah.
There's a distinction there. Like maybe
these people were always [ __ ] and
that's why they became successful or
rich or wealthy or whatever or or in a
higher social class.
Yeah. I I mean, there are two And that's
a critical question, right? And And
people have long championed this idea
that, well,
maybe all of this, what it really tells
us is you if you practice our
compassion, you don't rise in the ranks,
and you don't gain wealth and the like.
And there are two rebuttals to that
idea. The first, which I chart in the
Power Paradox, which people still don't
believe too much, but uh, on balance
today,
um,
people who practice empathy, who listen
and and share resources, practice
gratitude, rise in the ranks. They they
do better in social hierarchies. Um, and
that replicates in a lot of contexts.
And And really what happens is, this is
why I call it the Power Paradox, is
once I have everybody's
respect and,
you know, wealth and the like, then it I
tend to misbehave, right? In the ways
we've talked about through a lot of
different, uh,
uh, forms of unethical behavior. The
other rebuttal is we've actually done
experiments, right? And you can take a
middle-class individual,
and you can get them into the mindset
like, "Hey, you're actually
have a lot of advantage vis-à-vis most
of society" through simple
manipulations, right? Just think about
how you compare to a lot of poor people,
and they're like, "Oh, I'm doing really
well."
And that simple shift in mindset leads
to
reduced compassion, reduced empathy. So,
you can you can actually move people
around where you give them the sense
that they're privileged and it tends to
undermine these these tendencies.
Jesus.
I know.
That's [ __ ] horrible.
It is. And you know,
um I worry about it. I worry about it a
lot. What um you know, the the kind of
poor distribution of
privilege in the United States and
increasingly UK and other countries is
doing to the social fabric. It's it's a
problematic.
It's interesting cuz there is there's
kind of a long um prevailing stereotype
that rich people are
like bad. Like they're like less
compassionate, um less empathetic. And I
and I always wondered whether that was
just I don't know. Was it true? Was it
um was it Was it people being jealous?
Was it um just too much of a broad
generalization? Was it, you know, based
on the the acts of maybe a few?
Yeah.
But you're telling me that the science
supports the fact that generally the
more the richer you are and that the
higher you are in terms of social class,
um the less compassionate less less
empathetic you are as a human.
Yeah, and you know, and it is that I
mean, that's the broad argument. I've
given you a couple of findings here.
There are all kinds of other findings
that speak to this.
Jesus.
Um you know, one This is one of my
favorites is, you know, in these um
these epidemiologists who are studying
broad trends in social behavior
discovered this accidentally. They're
interested in who shoplifts as a a
teenager in the United States.
You know, a basic unethical tendency,
really costly for businesses in the
United States. Is it the rich or the
poor?
Well, you know what who I who I would
assume it would be,
but I feel like I'm wrong.
It's the rich. Rich high school kids in
the United States are more likely to
shoplift, right? Um
and that's striking. They've got their
parents' credit card. They can buy
whatever they want and they violate that
social rule. This is where it gets
really worrisome.
Uh my former student Michael Kraus did
really nice work
on US senators and US policy makers.
You know, American politicians are rich.
They increasingly so.
And he was simply interested in does
your degree of
privilege or wealth predict
regressive policy preferences like let's
not give resources to schools for the
poor.
Let's not fund, you know, Medicare.
Let's really move wealth through
taxation policies to the well-to-do.
And the wealthier you are, the more you
you preferred and advocated for,
you know, serious economic policies that
hurt the poor and benefit the well-to-do
who already have, you know, in the US
the 1% they have enough. They have more
than enough, right? Why not share a
little? So, it's deep. And I think And
then you look across history,
European aristocracies and you know, the
Popes and so forth and it's it's I think
it's one of the you know, frankly,
Steven, and I hate to say it, you know,
Lord Acton,
uh
you know, power leads to abuse and
absolute power absolute corruption. Our
power is corrupting. Um it's a pretty
safe law in human behavior.
I hate to say it.
Mhm.
It's because you're rising in prominence
and facing a new life and you better
watch out.
I was thinking most of the time you're
talking, which is like, how do you avoid
that? How do you avoid
Yeah.
How do you avoid the uh that
scientifically supported tendency to
become an [ __ ] with with the more
wealth and power you accrue?
Um I guess my my assumption was just
being conscious of the fact. Yeah. The
first thing. But also just like there's
probably act things you could do
actively to remain
uh
aware of your own
insignificance to maybe not the word,
but like the fact that everybody is
exactly the same.
Yeah. That's like the the way I describe
it.
Yeah, I mean, I think that there's an
awareness dimension to this that you've
suggested.
There's an ethical practice of like, how
do I create more gratitude in an
organization if that's what we care
about, etc.
Um
How do I counteract my own biases then
as well? So, how do I put you people
around me who represent and we're
thinking here I'm thinking here about
governments that represent the entirety
of the population, not just the rich
private school right colleagues that I
might surround myself with, which has
often been the case in government.
And that is hard to work against, right?
That is a deep sociological process that
like, you appoint the cabinet member
from Oxford or whatever and and you're
in trouble. Yeah, you know, it's it's
uh
It is
uh you know, a lot of economists, a lot
of the work coming out of
uh you know, spirit level UK, this is a
central challenge of of the structure of
our societies today is this this
increasingly unequal distribution of
privilege and wealth and all that goes
with it.
Do people that are wealthy and in a
higher social class live longer? Because
I say that because the the attributes of
becoming less empathetic and rude or all
these things seem to be the antithesis
of social connectedness and all of these
things. And you even said earlier that,
you know, wealthier people experience
less awe. Yeah. And all of those things
are
um
uh
are associated with living longer. Yeah.
So, one would assume that if you become
rich and powerful, you're then there's
also then also a risk to your life
expectancy.
Yeah, that's terrific. That's a really
striking question and we don't know.
Um and I think your reasoning is right
on the point, which is wow, you
have less friends, you have
Right, privilege knocks out these these
these important tendencies that help
with inflammation and vagal tone and the
like. Um
rich people do live longer.
That's robust. Yeah, yeah, and food you
eat and so forth.
You know, opportunity for health, you
know, yoga, all the things that benefit
us.
Rich people, this is interesting,
surprised me, rich people are less
likely to experience anxiety and
depression in the United States. Yeah,
interesting, isn't it? We think so
lonely and anxiety producing to be at
the top. No,
mental health issues are really
concentrated in the poor for obvious
reasons. Working two jobs, riding the
bus, you know, schools are
under-resourced, etc.
But to your point, and it's interesting,
the effect of wealth on happiness is
much smaller than people think. People
think, you know, in particular in a
country like the United Kingdom or you
know, Great Britain or US, like
oh, once I make a lot of money,
it'll be bliss and happiness and
contentment. That turns out not to be
true. It's a weak relationship. And I
think part of the reason is,
you know, when you you gain in
resources, you don't have these raw
feelings of compassion as often or God,
I'm grateful for that gift, right, that
you gave me or this is awesome, this
person's courage or how they overcome
overcame obstacles. And so that
diminishes
how wealth could make you happier. So I
think it's at play in some of these
phenomena and maybe in others.
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You talked about how life expectancy has
been declining in the last few years.
Why?
Yeah, you know, in the United States um
and I don't know the data in the UK.
Um
and and it's um it's it's really related
to inequality
and opportunity and the poor
distribution or
uh of of opportunity and resources is um
there have been these amazing findings
uh related to what's called death by
despair.
And
certain populations in the United
States, um very poor white people, large
group of the um
large subculture in the United States,
are often forgotten in the cultural
discourse. They're poor. I grew up
around these people.
Very poor, don't eat good food, schools
are not that good, you know, uh work is
uncertain.
And they and they feel disrespected in
some sense. And those that subculture in
the US
has been killing themselves, you know,
with opiates and you know, drinking and
drug addiction and suicides and the
like. And it's a serious problem. And
it's part of that statistic.
And then I think that, you know, if you
think about
the problems of contemporary culture
concentrated in the United States of
lack of civility, rage, self-focus, a
lot of things
that undermine our physical health
through the mind,
um that probably is part of this story,
too. Too much stress, too much
loneliness,
um not enough music and joy and shared
communal experience, um
we
are struggling. Um and and that's part
of probably that statistic, too.
And so that's why, you know, as I
mentioned, like the Surgeon General
Vivek Murthy, a very smart team, looking
at these kind of processes and saying,
"How do we build community?" You know,
and they're they've got a big program
now. So,
it is alarming. And that statistic
is important for thinking thinking about
where we are.
I looked at the life expectancy on
Google a couple of years ago. And I I
could see that it was basically going up
every single year. And then there was
these 2 years. I think it might have
been last year or the year before. This
was, I think, before the pandemic. Um
there was these two years where it had
dropped both in the UK and the US
Yeah.
in a row.
Yeah.
Um and I was trying to understand why
that was, and I heard some social
commentator say that there's this
epidemic of purposelessness.
Yeah. Yeah.
And describe that as leading to the
opioid crisis, but also suicides and all
these other behaviors.
Yeah.
Um
is that is that a good way to in your in
your view to define it, like this
epidemic of purposelessness?
Yeah, it is. You know, thanks for
bringing that up, and you know,
purpose, a lot of people now call it
meaning, right? What
vague term, has many different
definitions, but it's,
you know, I as an individual, how do I
connect to things that are larger than
the self, that don't have to do with
income or status or directly, but like,
what's my point here in my brief life on
Earth?
Um you know, what am I going to serve?
What's the big cause that I'm part of?
And this is really emerging
in the science of happiness as a central
focus of, you know,
um you know, we we know well uh how to
find income, we have good ideas about
sensory pleasures, what's good to eat,
how do I drink wines, what's the great
coffee and the like,
but we've lost sight of meaning. You
know, churches and religions used to
give that to us, you know, and religious
participation's on the decline in the
West, dramatically so for people your
age.
Mhm.
Um where they gave us a big picture of
life, and now,
you know, young people
are hungry for it, and they're
challenging
a lot of the
the approaches to happiness that that
don't give meaning, you know, new
conceptions of work, like, I don't have
to stay at one career if it isn't
meaningful, new conceptions of romantic
relationship, and so,
I think, you know, I think a lot of
different perspectives are saying this
is
one of the crises of our times is
meaning. Is what will be the big thing
you're devoted to?
If you were to follow
you answer that question?
Uh, which question?
What are you devoted to?
I'm devoted to so many things. I'm
devoted to this, this this podcast and
the show for so many reasons, for for
very selfish reasons, but those selfish
reasons happen to be selfless.
Yeah, a lot of them.
Um, you see what I mean? Like, doing the
podcast and you know, helps helps the
people some of the people that listen
because they come up to me in the street
and they tell me all the time wherever I
go. And the stories they tell me are
like, uh, I remember I was at, um,
Old Trafford
uh, 2 days ago, the Manchester United
stadium, and a guy who was the he said
he was the nearest survivor to the
Manchester, um, terrorist attacks.
Mhm.
Um, approached me in his in his
wheelchair and told me that of the
impact this has had on him.
Yeah.
And I literally had to walk like I took
the photo with him, walked, um,
like 2 m out out into this, um, this
balcony, and I remember feeling just
overwhelmed with emotion.
And it was this wonderful reminder of
like
how why I do this.
Yeah.
For for both the listener, but also for
me. So, this is something that I'm
increasingly devoted to because of those
experiences. And thank you to that young
man, he's tweeted me about for doing
that cuz I I needed I needed the
reminder. So, I feel like you need the
reminders sometimes often.
I'm devoted to my relationship with my
partner, my dog, my family,
Yeah.
um, my team,
and I'm I'm devoted to myself. I'm
devoted to like my my, um, health, my,
you know, of both my body and my mind.
Yeah.
I think that's what I'm devoted to. And
I think I'm devoted to, um,
the the the yeah. Probably answered this
in the first piece, but the good the
greater good of like the collective. So,
Yeah.
you know, um,
Yeah.
And you know, it's so interesting, you
know, Steven, one of the reasons that I
got really excited about awe
as an emotion to study, a brief state
that you, you know, you go out and you
see the the moment of generosity that
you saw or look at the sky or, you know,
think about a big idea, that idea of
space or infinity is is it does bring
people
it kind of moves people away from
transactional considerations. So, in one
of our studies, look up into the trees,
you feel awe, you're less interested in
money,
you're less focused on the self, and
you're you're really more focused on the
greater good. Like, what how do my
actions promote
healthier societies?
Um, and and I think that, um, you know,
a lot of of young people are raising
questions of meaning right now with
climate crises and economic inequality,
the state of democracy. Like, what is
the point? You know, when, you know, you
think about conversations from the last
century and the centuries before, you
know, in reading for awe, people would
use words like the soul.
Yeah.
And spirit. And like, this is what I'm
really about in life. Uh, and we've lost
sight of that, you know? And so,
hopefully with this book, people,
how whatever language they want to use,
they're asking questions like,
what am I devoted to? What's sacred?
What is what
Why do people suddenly care? It seems
like this young generation, I'd say
millennials and Gen Z, they all
want to change the world. Yeah. Now,
they don't necessarily know what they
want to change.
Yeah.
But they want to be involved in the
process of And I This is literally a
quote, and I say this because of the
amount of young people that have come up
to me various times, DM'd me, and said,
I said like, what do you want to do?
They they they'll say things like, I
want to change the world.
Yeah.
How do you want to change it?
And they're like,
They don't know. They don't know, but
they want to be involved in changing the
world. Now, I've always wondered if this
is like virtue signaling because it's
good for social media. Probably.
Probably, right? Or there's been some
inherent change, you know, from my
father's generation to my future kids
generation and my generation where we
suddenly are these great philanthropists
and we want to
Yeah.
change everything and make it better.
Yeah. No, it's exciting for me. I mean,
you know, the and there are a lot of
good findings on this that when Thatcher
and Reagan hit in 1980, and that's when
I was 18, right? We had this big return
to materialism. And you think about the
movie Wall Street being iconic. Greed is
good. And that truly
that was the idea, right? Of like, the
point of life is selfish genes and
maximizing my wealth. And we had this
massive, you know, shift in Wall Street
and that became our ideology. And that's
been documented sociologically. Like in
my generation,
you know, suddenly coming out of the
'60s and all the social revolutions of
those times, now young people are
allowed to say, "I want to make a ton of
money. I want to live in a big house. I
want to, you know, I want to drive
whatever car." And your generation is
reacting against that big pendulum
shift, right? And suddenly it's like,
"Hey, that didn't work. Look at the
Amazon. Look at economic inequality.
Bernie Sanders, right?
Um what about climate crisis? Greta
Thunberg, right? Suddenly new model and
it's
it's coming."
But it's not because of social It feels
like that social media and the internet
has played a huge role in making us this
like one connected mind.
Yeah.
And we know from our sort of
evolutionary past that we we prefer
members of the the tribe tribe
that serve the tribe, that are good, you
know, that are I think there's a there's
a a term you use when we're talking when
you're talking about gossip.
Um how we will gossip against people who
are not doing good for the tribe,
essentially.
Yes.
So, we know that like being part of the
tribe and serving the tribe and being
you know, empathetic and caring about
others is a good trait. Now, we're all
connected on these glass screens as if
we're one brain.
And we're rewarded with these likes and
these retweets when we do good.
Ridiculous.
Yeah.
So, if I if I you know if I do something
really really good for society or
whatever, um then I'm rewarded with I
don't know comments or likes or whatever
or you know everyone claps and I feel
part of the tribe.
Yeah.
So has social media made us these
philanthropic warriors that are seeking
for ways to like virtue signal our our
goodness.
Yeah.
You know, I
I mean there's one argument in that in
general any act of virtue and and way of
promoting the greater good becomes
co-opted and exploited by people who
have power, you know, and and there's a
critique, you know, I hate to say this,
but you have a lot of nonprofits that
they
kind of they create these virtuous
organizations and pay people good
salaries and don't do a lot in the world
and that is a critique out there. And I
think it could be even more robustly
uh levied against the digital virtue is
like it's
I you could say it's meaningless. Let's
take that hypothesis, right? Oh, we we
turn acts of generosity and kindness and
appreciation that you saw on the train
into digital things that don't affect
anything, right?
Black Lives Matter where everyone was
told to post a black tile on their
Instagram on a Tuesday.
Like I did a post about how um
how much that misses the point in many
respects. If we're trying to deal with
systemic racism, posting a black tile on
a Tuesday really does nothing to address
and
evoke the conversation that needs to be
had.
Yeah.
But it was like an easy quick
cool way to say I'm a good person.
It's
And to do very little thereafter, you
know.
And if it's not changing hiring
practices or pay practices or school
admissions, it is BS and it's a and and
probably counter works against social
progress.
I had a cool during that time from one
of the biggest brands in the world who
who asked me on a conference call, um
there was five of them, what should we
do?
You know, we need Do Do we Do we do a
donation? What What What should we post
on our Twitter channel? Like, what
should we do and say? And part of, you
know, it was the five executives of this
huge company. And I said, "I think the
the most important thing is actually to
get your home in order first. It's
startling that there's five white men on
this phone call right now talking about
um, race relations
um, and inequality. I think it's it's
it's better not to be the
contradictions. It's better to get your
home in order first before you start
You know, and that's not I mean, there's
for You can almost see the the
expression in their faces. It's like,
"Oh, that's the hard
That's the hard thing."
Well, get to work.
Yeah, exactly. It's much easier just to
do a donation, right, in these
situations. I want to talk about um,
compassion. It's a word I've I've
struggled to understand if I'm honest.
Yeah.
Because Like, what does it mean? Does it
mean being nice to people? What is
compassion?
No, you know,
um,
compassion is
um, the feeling of concern about other
people's suffering.
Okay.
And and then taking action, right? Uh,
Empathy? Is that
Empathy is
I feel the same thing as you. I
understand your mental states. If you're
in pain, I feel pain. Compassion is
you're in pain and I want to I want to
make your circumstances better. I want
to lift up your your well-being. Um, so
it's interesting um, compassion is a
very dynamic emotion. It's an empowered
emotion. It isn't Nice is great, you
know, it's politeness and civility and
being considered. I think we
uh,
we need more niceness in the world and I
think we often I think the connotations
of the word nice
uh,
sort of devalue how powerful it is, but
compassion is
powerful. It is the state of wanting to
lift up the welfare of other people who
suffer. Um, and what's striking about it
and and I love the neurophysiology of
this and the the which really speaks to
you its power which is that
I can see
somebody suffering, dying, cancer,
uh flesh wounds, crying in pain. And
when I lock into the compassion
response, certain regions of the brain
are activated that are different than
empathy, the vagus nerve is activated,
and it's it really just throws you into
altruistic action, right? So,
um and that's why you know, when the
Dalai Lama
um you know, who's now one of the most
prominent spiritual figures in the world
says,
"If you want others to be happy,
practice compassion.
And if you want to be happy, practice
compassion."
That gets to it, right? Like, man, if
you can stay close to compassion,
you and other people and the greater
good will do well. It's a really dynamic
emotion.
Is there scientific evidence that proves
that you will become happier if you're
compassionate to others?
Yeah.
And what does that scientific evidence
show and prove?
It's amazing, you know, and it it begins
with a study by Liz Dunn, famous study,
replicated in many different cultures,
which is you give people some money and
they can give it away to a to help
somebody or spend it on themselves.
Giving it away boosts happiness more
than spending it on yourself.
Um there's research. I love this work in
Contagion has been part of our
experience here where
um if I am kind to you, Stephen,
um this is kind of extending from the
study,
uh that boosts my life expectancy, it
shifts my physiology, it shifts my
stress. But, I love this work where if
I'm kind to you and then the
experimenter watches you in your next
interaction, you're kinder to that
person, right? I'm not around. My act of
kindness makes you more kind downstream,
and then that person you've helped
actually is kinder to
another person in a subsequent
interaction. So, you know, the
you've proven that in studies.
Yeah, and really nice research on the
contagiousness of altruism and
compassion. Um yeah, it is like
gratitude, it's one of these big
winners, you know, if I There's a loving
kindness practice
where
comes out of East Asian traditions where
you just calm yourself, get into some
deep breathing, find a quiet safe space,
and orient kind phrases to other people.
I I May you be filled with loving
kindness. May you be safe from inner or
outer danger.
Well in body and mind.
Uh at ease and happy. And that simple
practice, 2 minutes, right? Uh
just calms the amygdala, threat-related
region of the brain,
activates reward circuitry. So,
you know, um you know, you talked about
and you asked about what are these
structural conditions of our busy lives
that get in the way of of the good life,
and
you've got to find a few moments just to
be kind.
I was blown away um when reading your
your work and watching videos that you
produced about um
so many things. The one of the real
startling things is
the the power of touch.
Yeah.
I read
I read
read
um that if you pat a kid on the back in
the classroom, that child is three to
four five times more likely to try hard
problems on the blackboard, and that
touch can make you live longer.
Mhm.
And be less stressed, just someone
touching you.
Yeah.
Is that true?
Yeah, I mean, it's you know,
touch
in a lot of mammalian species, including
humans, is just connection. It's it's
identity, it's I'm with you.
You know, you think early in life we are
constantly being held and in
skin-to-skin contact with our
caregivers.
It's foundational. It's where my sense
of me and you
connection emerges.
The physiology of touch is mind-blowing.
You know, our hands are incredible.
They're spectacular
um you know, evolutionary adaptations
that can do all kinds of things
including touch. Our skin, 8 lb,
billions of cells, our immune system is
in the skin.
You know, it registers touch in many
different ways from the sexual to the
friendly to the cooperative. Goes up
into the brain and says, "Man, you're
being touched in this way."
Uh and and that has direct effects on
your immune system and your vagus nerve
and your heart rate and the health of
your body. And so, you know, early
discoveries
um you know, you have premature babies,
they're going to die.
And and they used to just put them in
these little, you know,
um sort of units that warm them and had
them sort of be comfortable and fed, and
they would die. And then they figured
out you got to
hold the the premature baby. They needed
skin-to-skin contact like they need
food. Right? And they lived. They gained
47% weight gain. Um and then, you know,
there are there are just studies time
and time again.
You know, nice hug, lower cortisol. Uh
nice embrace with somebody, elevated
vagal tone.
Um the studies that you referred to of,
you know, patting kids on the back, they
they do better in school. Um
you know, and it's so interesting, parts
of
English culture,
you know, Victorian culture,
Western European culture,
they came up with the idea like touch is
sexual. It's you got to get it and it
is, but only certain kinds of touch are
sexual. There's a lot of friendly touch
we need, right? And it just shut it
down.
And now it's coming back. It's uh thank
goodness. It's it's good for us.
We We talked before we started filming
about the study with the rhesus monkeys.
Yeah.
I can't remember that the who the
researcher was, but
Yeah.
I was saying to you that
Harlow.
Harlow, that was it. Yeah. Um how that
was mind-blowing to me at 16 to learn
that they put these monkeys in these
cages. They had like a pretend wire
mother, so a mother made out of like
metal. And then they had another one
made out of like cloth. And
like a mother made out of cloth, which
was essentially a teddy bear.
And there was huge variance between the
outcomes of those kids, right?
Yeah. I mean, if you deprive those
monkeys of the nice touch,
they they don't learn how to behave
socially effectively. You know, if you
give them a choice between a wire
uh monkey mother and that provides milk
and then a terry cloth one, they always
hang around the terry cloth one, right?
They just love the social contact.
If you deprive non-human primates of
touch, they
they are almost schizophrenic or
psychopathic or they're just like
Personality disorders.
aggressive, they can't handle social
interactions. You know, orphans deprived
of touch, famous orphan studies.
You know, in humans, same thing. They
just like they don't become human in
some way. Or they are human, but they
have trouble with social contact. Yeah,
you know, I mean, part of the
questioning of that you're engaging in,
Stephen, of the literature is like,
well, what can I do just to live a more
meaningful life?
Mhm.
And you know, from gratitude to kindness
to find some ah, man, you know,
if you're not hugging people you love,
if you're not if you don't have a rich
language of touch with your friends,
you know, I learned it playing pick up
basketball. Basketball, which is the
I believe the most
fascinating sport in human history, it
has this amazing language of touch, you
know? And it's it's unique to the court,
right? You're fist bumping, chest
bumping, and the like. I If you're not
doing that with your friends, you're
missing out on one of the great
languages of human
kind, which is to be in contact with
each other. So, you know, parents,
you know, when you have kids,
and I hope some of your listeners are
are doing that, you know, it's this
mystery, like,
should they take naps on my body? Should
we How should I hold them? Should I
carry them in public? Am I indulging
them? And I think the more friendly,
kind touch the better. So, we're moving
back to where we began evolutionarily,
and I think it'll be a good thing.
What if I'm touching a dog?
Does that have the same same effect?
Yeah, I mean, dogs evolved because we
love them, and they love us, and there's
all this new amazing dog science where
This is one of my favorite studies, and
touch releases oxytocin,
which is this little chemical that
floats in your brain and your blood, and
it helps you be kind to other people and
cooperate. And they're now studies from
Japan showing
you may do this with your dog, Steven,
where if you look into the eyes of your
dog,
you your dog will have a surge of
oxytocin,
and you will have a surge of oxytocin.
So,
so it's like all of this social stuff
that's so simple of eye contact and
touch
brings us good things even with our
dogs.
It makes me kind of realize two things.
The first is that men tend to be
stereotypically much worse at that.
Yeah.
Much worse at touch. We don't We do the
like the macho hug where you like
on the back, you know, like where you
pat them on the back. It's like, "Get
the [ __ ] off me."
Um, we're we're less good at even things
like eye contact and sort of emotional
engagement. And then you look at the
stats around male suicides and all of
those, you know, drug addiction and all
those things are significantly higher.
I believe the stats say that the biggest
killer of men under the age of 40 is
themselves in this country yeah, by
suicide. Um,
And they really need feel as like they
need to be a reversal of that. The
adjacent point is the just the one we
talked about earlier, which is just
loneliness.
And now it kind of makes sense as to why
if you are lonely, you have a
significantly worth worse health
outcomes. Um and a shorter life
expectancy cuz you're not getting the
compassion, the touch. You're not You're
probably experiencing less awe or
gratitude, etc.
Yeah.
Um
And I feel like we have to we have to
talk about how we fix that. Like you
know cuz some of the saddest moments I
can I think about when I've had private
conversations are men coming up to me
after like a talk on stage and
whispering to me that the part I said
about me being lonely when I was like
23, 24 and I'd given everything just for
this business, coming to the office
every day, sacrifice friendships,
family, relationships.
I'll have men come up to me and whisper
to me that that was the part that they
um
it
needed to hear the most. But then asking
me what they can actionably do to fix
that. Yeah. As if they don't want the
the the group around me to hear that
they are lonely. Yeah. And they want to
do something about it. They are sat on
their computers, often playing video
games or on the internet, um
struggling to attract, you know, maybe
the opposite sex or the same sex or
whatever whatever they're interested in.
And it feels like it's going in one
negative direction generally. I mean the
stats kind of support the fact that
we're getting lonelier and lonelier.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean those are such deep
insights.
And
really worth thinking more concretely
about what to do. I I think that the
you know, kind of the the gender
complexities here are really striking,
right? Men live significantly fewer
years than women in most Western
globalized cultures. And and I think
you're on a really interesting
hypothesis, Stephen, which is that
you know, if the gender stereotypes and
these rigid concepts and then the lives
we lead don't allow us to hug and feel
grateful and feel empathetic, it it
countervails that and there those are
gender stereotypes, right? Oh, if I
practice compassion at work, I'll be
weak and I won't rise. That's not true.
That's a gender stereotype. And it it
denies men
um disproportionately this opportunity
for these emotions, right? And that's
that, you know, with new conceptions of
gender, new ideas about work is changing
dramatically, uh that will shift and I
think it'll be good news um for the
health of men. Um and and then
loneliness
um loneliness in some sense is the
deprivation of everything we've been
talking about. It's that you don't get
to hug somebody like you would like to
every day and that you don't hear the
words of appreciation. William James,
you know, the deepest craving we have is
to be appreciated by other people. You
don't hear it. You don't hear the thank
you. You don't get to go out and feel
awe with somebody
uh or feel kindness. Um you know, so I
think we have to
think very actively about building these
emotions into those contexts. In the
United States,
there are 35,000 long-term care
facilities.
The elderly in the United States,
a lot of them live alone, you know. Uh
if when people from India
see how we treat the elderly or people
from Mexico,
it's just like the unhoused. They're
like, "What are you guys doing?" You
know, you're taking the vulnerable
and and sort of shunting them off alone.
But the but these emotions point to
really direct actionable things to do,
right? With awe practices and
compassion. So, it gives me hope, but
we've got, you know, I think in part
historically
we took these prosocial emotions out of
our lives,
right? And now we got to build them back
in.
And if we do, it's good for not just
ourselves, but it's good for the
recipients of those emotions. You know,
hugging hugging my dad or hugging my mom
or hugging anybody is is a mutually
beneficial um behavior in terms of all
the, you know, life expectancy,
happiness, reduction in stress.
And not only that, but you know, I just
heard 50% of US healthcare expenses are
on the last 5 years of life
when a lot of those people are living
alone and feeling lonely. And there are
simple ways to address that as we've
been talking about. So it's there's a
bottom line that's really relevant here,
too.
And then the the really the the bit I
imagine a lot of people will, especially
those that are much more spiritually
inclined, will love is the
idea of that karma and how, you know, if
I hug one person or if I'm kind to some
person or express that gratitude or
compassion, it has this sort of
cascading knock-on effect.
Yeah.
And how they go through the day. So like
in that sense, karma is a very real
thing.
It's very real. Yeah.
In every respect, even in the in the
the concept of gossip, where how you
treat someone will spread. I think you
said in your your book that um
when we treat someone badly,
people on average gossip that bad
treatment to 2.5 people.
Yeah.
Which is, you know, which is slightly
terrifying. But it's but it makes sense.
Um
Yeah, you know, it's in part of our
theme in our conversation is how we're
all connected and united in these these
superorganisms, some people call them,
through practicing gratitude and sharing
resources that spreads through uh these
social networks. And then the the
complement is also true, which is you
know, and and as much as I don't like
gossip and I didn't like being gossiped
about, it's a human universal. It can be
horrifying and and we've got to worry
about it, like online catfights and it
escalates.
Yeah.
But we study these social groups and and
the thing that people really gossip
about is when you're not kind, right?
They're like
look at what that that A just said these
harsh things. that spreads through the
network and it it
tries to keep those problematic
tendencies in check. I guess that's a
good thing.
It's like a community sort of regulation
tool.
Yeah.
Thank you so much. I've had a wonderful
brilliant time over the last week
learning more and more about all of your
work and reading and watching your your
content in great detail. This book is
absolutely fantastic. Um it's very
challenging, but it's this this concept
of awe was one was not one that I'd ever
thought of before.
Mhm.
You know, you think about these other
sort of emotions, gratitude, compassion,
there's a lot written about them, but
I've almost never heard someone talk
about the topic of awe as a very
accessible, but very profound, powerful
human medicine, I would say. And the way
that you do that throughout your book is
um is incredibly important and I've as I
say, I've really never encountered a
book quite like it. So, I highly
recommend everybody goes and gives it a
try and the the reviews on the back by
people like Adam Grant and Steven Pinker
are
I mean, they speak for themselves. So,
thank you for writing such a brilliant
book and thank you for having such a
brilliant, eye-opening conversation with
me today. We have a closing tradition on
this podcast where the last guest asks a
question for the next guest.
Huh. Okay, funny.
Um the question that's been left
for you
is
do you think
obesity
is a choice?
I I I don't. Um
it's a terrific question, right? And
obesity is I think in the US, I think
the latest estimate is 56% of US
citizens, probably pretty comparable
here in the UK.
Um and man, when I think about the food
that we
put in our bodies,
the lack of activity that are not cho-
chosen, right? That depend on what kind
of soft drink that's readily available
and cheap, and how fast food is so
cheap, and provide us provides us a
certain kind of high. To me, that says
that it's mainly not a choice of the
people eating,
but it is a choice of the policy makers.
So, I would
make that
argument.
And there is some sort of three lines
between the conversation we've had today
about stress, connectedness, and all of
those things as it relates to food and
diet and and eating, which is again
social constructs and
And access to awe. Um there is a
movement parks, living near parks.
London is one of the greenest cities in
the world. Living near parks boost life
expectancy, I think through awe.
Uh there's a movement in the United in
California
that everybody should be 10 minutes
public transport away from a park for
free.
Um 360 million people
uh went to the national parks in the
United States last year. So, there's a
lot of
with this stress profile that we've been
talking about culturally, there are easy
solutions, and one and one pathway is
through being outdoors with awe.
I want to close then just on that point
about a sort of an adjacent point to
what you've just said, which is about
and you also talked about prisoners
earlier. I read once upon a time, when I
was doing some research for one of my
books, that um
prisoners who had a exposure to
nature
Yeah.
were significantly less likely to become
depressed than those that were like
basically looking out at concrete.
Yeah.
Um
which is mind-blowing to me.
It is.
The thought that just seeing nature can
have a massive impact on our our chances
of depression and anxiety.
Yeah.
Do we need to put more of that stuff in
prisons then?
We do. We do. And that, you know, you've
been challenging me, Stephen, like, all
right, what do we do?
Just look at a hospital, put some nature
in it, right? Look at a prison. Prisons
are horrifying in the United States.
Norway has more open prisons with views
and so forth.
Uh different recidivism rates. So, I
take from this science and I'm really
grateful to you for profiling it, you
know, in such a
uh
a scholarly and thoughtful way. Like, we
got to use this knowledge, and prisons
is a nice application.
But, even in our own homes.
Yeah.
You know, we most of us are living in
these white boxes in big cities, and
those that that live in social housing
unfortunately are living in even worse
conditions often.
Yep.
Um and nature is somewhat of a
privilege, it seems.
It shouldn't be.
Especially in the home environment, just
having some plants. I have zero in here.
I have loads upstairs cuz I have a
girlfriend and she's just she's very in
touch with these things, but she's she's
filled my house with with plants, but
that's a simple thing we can all do to
be happier every day is just have a bit
more nature in our in our environment.
It's not a bad first step.
Okay, thank you so much.
Thank you, Steven. It's been an an honor
and a a pleasure.
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Ask follow-up questions or revisit key timestamps.
In this episode, Dr. Dacher Keltner, an expert on human emotion and the Greater Good Science Center, discusses the vital role of emotions like awe, compassion, and gratitude in human health and longevity. He explains that modern societal issues, such as loneliness and a decline in meaning, are contributing to health declines, and offers actionable strategies—such as 'awe walks' and fostering social connection—to combat stress, improve physical health, and restore a sense of purpose.
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