Former CIA Spy Reveals How They’re Controlling You! - Andrew Bustamante
4717 segments
the majority of people they're still
seeing the world through a lens that was
built for them and they want more they
just don't know how to do it so what I
teach which is what CIA teaches is how
to see the world in the way it really is
here's what I'm going to tell you
andreon is back a former CIA officer and
founder of everyday spy a company on a
mission to help you get anything you
want in life with the skills the CIA
taught him we don't know the recipe for
Success our society doesn't teach us the
plan the framework the process that's
what CIA did for us they just taught us
a simple system and one gentleman one of
the Frameworks that we taught him helped
him get a $32,000 raise we had one
person say I followed your framework I
wenton over the interviewer now I have
this job that I would have never gotten
otherwise but I'm not surprised when
they happened because of course the
recipes work because they were refined
in the center of CIA so first we have an
exercise called get quiet and in a get
quiet exercise all you do is just the
reason that we do that is because we
have the informational Advantage going
into any situation interesting then
there's the four seas of building
influence rapidly so if you want to
build influence the first thing we have
to do is and now you actually take the
action to get what you want so what
about persuasion then how do I persuade
somebody persuasion is a process that's
much easier it really is as simple as
finally the secret sauce at CIA that we
know that most people don't understand
is that now you can do whatever you need
to improve yourself and your
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subscribers Andrew what is it you're
doing in this season of your life you
know it's an interesting question I
actually just lost my grandmother
recently in the last week or so and my
grandmother was one of the two women
that raised me I didn't have a father I
mentioned that to you the last time I
was here um and it was a moment that
struck me because mortality became very
real it makes
everything clearer it makes you realize
what actually matters and what doesn't
matter it it shows you that the days
that we have aren't actually guaranteed
to us even though we take them for
granted every day I don't know I don't
know if my flight home is g to actually
happen I don't know if I'm going to step
out of this studio and get hit by a car
I don't know if my child isn't going to
get hit by a car playing in the driveway
tomorrow because life is so
fragile and we don't think about it
until we watch its
fragility dissolve in front of us we
hear about tragedy but tragedy is always
happening somewhere
else
it's it's so real and yet we don't
realize it every day it's a good thing
we
don't that's that's the truth that's how
it feels right now for me as well I kind
of wish I could go back to being
ignorant again it's that Matrix red pill
blue pill moment where I kind of wish I
could go back in and forget the reality
and and forget that mortality is reality
and so does that change your your
priorities in life in any way it does
like the biggest way that it's affecting
me right now is really with business
because you know we had a conversation
not too long ago where I was very
focused on trying to Triple the size of
the business this year because we had
been tripling the year before and we had
tripled the year before that and it
became this arbitrary number this this
scorecard where I wanted to continue
having this achievement and then what I
found is that scaling a business is no
easy thing and the struggles that come
from
scaling were
consuming the majority of my focus all
the time until this moment happened with
my grandmother and then all of a sudden
I realized I have a team of people who
can scale the business I don't have to
scale it I just have to empower the team
to do what the team does and my job is
very different my job is to enable
Empower encourage direct lead manage
their efforts but it's their job to grow
it I can take some of that time and put
it into the people that matter to me the
people that surround me the people who
have made me who I am the people like
the woman on the couch that I was
visiting in her death bed the business
you're referring to is called everyday
spy right yes sir what is everyday spy
what is the mission of that business the
mission of everyday spy is to use spy
education to break barriers for everyone
willing to learn and what is spy
education spy education is anything from
specific spy skills cognitive skills
physical skills it can be breaking myths
about what spies are and what spies are
not B bursting conspiracy theories
teaching spy uh processes and Frameworks
to everyone from entrepreneurs to
business owners and CEOs so that they
can use those same Frameworks to improve
their leadership to improve their sales
to improve their revenue or their
organization do you um do you do you
ever have a bit of a you you're a guy
that thinks quite big picture about
things um and sometimes think are Level
above everybody else do you um do you
think the people you teach these things
to know what they're looking for in life
do you think they actually know what
they're aiming at no I don't and I'll
tell you why because I don't think that
the majority of people who learn from
everyday spy see the world in the way it
really is I think they're still seeing
the world through a a lens that was
built for them have you ever looked
through uh a window in an old cabin or
in an old house it's kind of hazy it's
uh maybe it's stained or it's dirty or
the dirt is so thick on it that it
doesn't wash off have you ever seen a
window like that yeah my old shed at
home when I was a kid growing up so
you're inside the shed M and you're
looking out onto a sunny day and you
know it's a sunny beautiful Forest on
the other side of the window you know it
is but that's not what you see through
the window I feel like that's how many
of our high achieving brothers and
sisters feel they know it's a sunny
forest on the other side but school and
University and working for somebody else
and growing their business has created
this hazy glass and you can't trust what
you see through the glass you know that
what the glass is showing you isn't real
but you also can't prove it because you
can't step outside of the glass you're
inside the shed so a lot of what I try
to do with everyday spy is just shatter
the glass because you don't need the
glass to be between you and the real
world and that's what it felt like for
me when CIA trained me how to be a field
officer I don't feel like they took me
out of the shed I don't feel like they
cleaned the glass I feel like what they
did is they just shattered the glass and
there I was looking at the world for
what it really was and it all made sense
until I started meeting other people who
were still looking through the glass and
there's no way to teach them otherwise
or there's no way to convince them
otherwise the only thing you can do is
teach them to break through the barrier
themselves so that I can understand that
can you tell me what your perspective of
the world was before and after the
shattered
glass when I was growing up
uh all through high school I went to the
Air Force Academy which is a a military
school that you have to get accepted on
scholarship to go to even getting
accepted to CIA itself every step of the
way I believed that achievement came
from doing what you were told better
than anybody else so that you could be
empirically better than the competition
like that's what I believed but what I
found along the way was often times that
was true but often times it wasn't some
sometimes people who had no business
being next to me in a race at the Air
Force Academy on the college teams at
the CIA sometimes the people to my left
and to my right had no business being
there they just were the son of somebody
influential they were the daughter of
somebody important they had money they
had opportunity they were a foreigner
who knows but it wasn't always
merit-based but everything had always
taught me that it was merit-based that
the best
Jobs go to the people with the best
scores who go to the best universities
like that's what I was taught but that
wasn't really the truth the richest
people weren't the smartest people the
most successful people weren't the
hardest workers and that was when as a
kid even I started feeling like there's
a forest on the other side but all I see
is this picture that doesn't seem to
make sense so then when I got to C and
CIA put me through their their field
tradecraft course FTC which is often
referred to as the farm what they did at
the field tradecraft course is they
said Society is conditioned to believe a
certain way because Society needs to be
a giant economic machine we all live
inside of a giant machine we are
conditioned through the education
process through the the industrial
process through the church process to
fall into a hierarchy that we believe is
meritorious that is a meritocracy so
that hard work and obedience and loyalty
gets rewarded because the only way that
the government stays in power of a large
group of people is if there's a
predictable system is if they believe
there's a system and since a system is
really nothing more than a belief system
all you have to do to step outside of
the system is Stop Believing or believe
in a different system so what CIA
teaches us to do is find the people who
question the system enough that they're
open to being taught a different system
and then we teach them the system of
Espionage or treachery so they they
chose you because you were a bit of a
defiant personality or thinker I would
say or on the cusp of or potential of
being I would say a differently only
because Defiance as a as a term by
itself means that you just reject
everything instead it was more of like a
curiosity I was still very loyal very
loyal to my country very loyal to the
idea of some sort of authority figure I
was still an individual that had a
history of childhood trauma that turned
me into a person that needed external
validation but I also chose where that
external validation came from so I was
It was kind of the right amount of
trauma to be able to make me loyal to a
specific organization whereas some
people who are truly defining aren't
loyal to anyone right they defy everyone
so the CIA told you that the world
is
predictable but also way that you
explained it made it seem like it was a
bit of a conspiracy not a conspiracy but
absolutely a system you got to a
conspiracy means that there's some sort
of a conspiracy insinuates that there's
some sort of negative intention there is
no negative intention in order for there
to be a society at all in order for
there to be structure and lawfulness
there needs to be a system and in order
to create the system we have to
intentionally continue ually repeat and
program the system what is a business a
business is nothing more than a series
of predictable reinforced processes and
systems that yield a predictable
outcome why do we think a government is
anything different why would we think
that Society is anything different if
you really look at what the church does
if you really look at what
Harley-Davidson does it's essentially
the same thing find people who believe
in an ideology bring them in give them a
framework to believe in that ideology
the church is good and evil Heaven and
Hell Harley-Davidson is freedom and
individuality and then you just give
them a system to think about it one
wears crosses one wears Eagles one meets
on Sundays one meets on Tuesdays at the
local Road bar one goes on you know
civic duty to collect trash the other
goes on multi-hour road trips but in in
all cases they mark it to the young they
mark it to the age they Market to the
very old their senior members bring in
junior members they have clubs they have
everything right they're two separate
subsections of society which is why we
call them subcultures so now I
understand that there's a system that
I'm part of and it's again it's not
malicious in terms of its intent it just
is what it is it's how the world
functions it's how the country that I'm
in um operates and it's required for
there to be stability now there's
awareness but is there is there any
benefit in me
doing anything about it is there
anything I can do about it to to make my
life better there's absolutely things
that you can do about it you you skipped
over the awareness part as if it wasn't
substantial the first thing I would say
is awareness of the system is quite a
substantial step because most of us are
not aware of the system I was certainly
not aware of the system I suspected
something was different I suspected
maybe there was more than I understood
that's the whole idea of looking through
faded glass at a clear Forest you know
there's a forest but you don't know how
to get there MH and you don't know why
everybody else is standing in the shed
if there's a forest right out there
there's just this there's this in this
discomfort because you're like there's
there should be something more I feel
like there's something more but
everybody seems so happy right here
except me I'm looking out this window
feeling like there's something more the
reality is most people don't look out
the window what is it that everybody in
the shed believes that's what's so
interesting I think most people in the
shed believe that the shed is a good
thing
we need the shed the shed keeps us warm
when it's cold outside it keeps us cool
inside when it's hot outside it protects
us from the rain it keeps the wind away
we need the shed that's what most people
I think start to believe about whatever
shed they're born into I need this
church I need this neighborhood I need
these friends I need to be popular in
school like because everybody else is
after the same thing I need good grades
why do you think you need good grades
cuz my mom said I need needed good
grades well we don't question it any
further than that we don't question why
do you think your mom thinks you need
good
grades right and when you look at the
hierarchy of society there's there's an
actual anthropological pyramid that
defines Society right and it breaks into
three levels individualism at the bottom
level tribalism in the center level and
then the state at the top level because
the most advanced version of society is
the state it maximizes the contribution
of each
individual by forcing shared policy down
all the way from top to bottom so all
people have to obey the state but in
exchange for their obedience the state
provides resources to all people like
clean water and loans and uh car loans
and business loans and police forces and
public schools so we are we believe that
this cabin is
needed it's the best cabin it's the only
cabin is that wrong I think if you look
at the world as it is there's a lot of
different cabins out there our cabin is
quite different than the China cabin
China cabin is quite different than the
Russia cabin right the UK cabin is very
different than the American cabin so if
you follow Logic the fact that different
cabins exist at all would suggest that
there is no best cabin and then if there
is no best cabin then do we even need a
cabin or perhaps there's a different
option that's better is there a
different option that's better in your
opinion I haven't found one yet outside
of living in a cabin and being the one
that understands there's more because
then you get all the benefits of the
cabin but you're also the one that knows
that sometimes it's worth it to step
outside yeah I in your analogy I was
thinking in fact it's okay for there to
be a cabin because I kind of need there
to be a cabin because you know what I
like roads and Healthcare and
police but but if you can be one of the
people that realizes you are in a cabin
and that the rules of the cabin aren't
actually rules law they're just made up
rules then you can bend them in certain
ways to live the life that you want to
live and I think in many respects
entrepreneurship is kind of one of those
things because some of the narratives
that you described there of thinking
grades mattered were the narratives that
nearly held me back in my life cuz I was
not doing well in school my brother's
where everyone else was and I nearly
fell into the Trap which you learn in
the shed
which is the people that get A's are
going to be rich and happy this is the
like unspoken word and then if you get
like an E and A D you're going to be
poor and probably not that happy and
probably going to live in a small house
and you're probably um going to struggle
and that's like a narrative and through
labeling Theory you can come to believe
that as the truth and then play that out
in your life but I always think the
biggest harm of I now and I had a
suspicion back then that the biggest
harm of getting like an e in my exam was
believing that I was an e and they're
two very different things like I can get
an e but it doesn't make me an e but in
the in the shed it does make you an e
it's hard to because everybody else
labels you by what you perform inside
the shed that defines them and then I
self-label I then start to tell myself
in my self-esteem that I am an eggr and
then I show up like an e-grade which
they've proven through labeling Theory
you can tell someone there's something
or you can remind them of a stereotype
that applies to them and they'll
immediately perform worse on a test
whatever that stereotype relates to so
but entrepreneurship for me was saying
do you know what I'm going to drop out
of I'm going to get leave school I'm
going to drop out of University and I'm
going to try and like send a bunch of
emails and figure out life myself
outside of the system because the system
was never going to get me where I needed
to go if if I had followed the system I
would still be working in the call
center that I was when I was 19 you know
and basically have no free time working
till midnight at night and just getting
[ __ ] from a boss that was an [ __ ] to
me and you just
described the feeling of 80% of the
population they feel like they've never
gone past the call center that they
worked at when they were 19 the vast
majority of people out there feel
like they stopped developing at about 27
what is the difference though what is
the difference between the people that
kind of get out the shed and pursue
their dreams and build the business or
whatever and the people that are still
in the call center I'm not saying call
center is a bad lesson I learn a lot of
school from call centers that I loved
but it sucked compared to what I do now
um what is the F so the first thing
you're talking about shattering the
glass the first thing is awareness yeah
you have to be aware that you're in a
shed that you're in a shed and you have
to be aware that you're choosing to be
in the shed right you can always leave
this is an argument I have so often with
people who are trapped in in the wrong
mindset right I don't even know what the
right psychological term is because I
don't live in a world of academic
psychology but there are people who
believe that they don't have a choice
and in the United States for example we
have 50 states there are some people in
the state of Florida who feel like they
can't leave the state of
Florida
because they they think it's because
they don't have enough money they think
it's because it's it's the drive is too
far there isn't a support network on the
other side the bureaucratic hurdles of
trying to change your residency and get
a new driver's license is too much the
taxes are too high to pay to move from a
non-state a non- tax state to a state
tax state so they all have reasons and
the reasons are grounded in fact
but the value that they put on the fact
the the value of the challenge is
greater than the value of the reward in
their point of view in their perspective
and in reality it's the other way around
you um you just reminded me of a video
that changed my life I'm going to play
this video for you okay um it's a very
very short video but when you talked
about people living in a state or living
in a situation where they don't think
they can leave this video came to mind
they just get an an and you can do this
with basically any small creature and
you get a brro or a pen and just draw a
circle around it and it will not it will
not leave the the circle and I watched
this video many years ago of just this
ant trapped in the circle and they the
guy drawing the circle around the ant
just makes the circle smaller and
smaller left there and it will basically
remain trapped and it was in when I
watched it I thought you know I'm doing
that for myself in my own life so the
ant remains trapped they make it smaller
the ant won't um leave the circle but
what's interesting here right is the ant
is just eventually figuring out that the
it's just a circle that it's just a
circle that it's like just a shed and
when I saw that the first thing I asked
myself was in what ways have I drawn an
imaginary circle around
myself I think the more important
question is often times when did the
imaginary Circle start who drew the
first Circle because it wasn't you if
you've ever seen a child if you've ever
seen an infant a toddler they are
Limitless they they know no bounds they
they don't understand anything about the
world around them they they don't know
how their body feels so they don't know
whether they're hungry or whether
they're gassy or whether they're
urinating they cry at everything and
they're constantly squirming they have
no context so all the context that they
gain they gain through absorption we
create the context for them we create
the idea of this is bedtime we create
the idea of this is what a healthy habit
is brushing your teeth washing your
hands whatever else we create this is
home and this is where you can walk
around openly but once you go out this
door into the front yard the front yard
is not home anymore and now you can't
you can't go anywhere you want you have
to stay here so somewhere somebody
started drawing circles before we ever
drew them all we started doing was then
believing that the circles were more
permanent than they really
were and the way to understand that it's
not permanent is to step out to step out
but stepping out does two things to us
simultaneously one it feels
uncomfortable because nobody else is
stepping out and two it feels wrong why
does it feel wrong because we've been
conditioned to believe we have to stay
in the circle this is why I love my
company this is why I love our mission
of teaching spy skills to break barriers
because everybody loves the idea of a
spy
but when you think about what a spy
does nobody actually likes what a spy
does nobody likes the fact that spies
steal nobody likes the fact that spies
lie but for some reason they still like
the idea of a spy and that's why James
Bond and Jason Bourne and and Spy shows
are so popular what's happening is we
come we come into this place where what
we want and what told we're supposed to
want Clash because you know what we
really want is an opportunity and we
want an opportunity so bad that we're
willing to cheat to get the opportunity
but we don't want to admit that we're
willing to cheat to get the opportunity
we want an
advantage but we don't want to believe
that our advantage hurts other people so
somehow we want to all move forward with
with equinity and everybody does better
and that's just not the way that
anything in nature actually works and
what entrepreneurs figure out when
they're
successful is that you can cheat and you
can get away with cheating and when you
get away with cheating it just gives
permission to everybody else who was too
afraid to cheat and then you have first
mover advantage in the marketplace and
they copy you and all of a sudden that
isn't cheating
anymore and cheating in the because
cheating can you know it's a bit of a
loaded word right what do you mean when
you you talk about choosing in the
context of business I'm talking about
like an unfair advantage of any sort
right think about when do you remember
when MP3s first came out yes well I I
had one when I was a kid so an MP3
player yeah yeah yeah so MP3s as in
music files I remember when they first
came out it was the the market went
chaotic because you could get them off
of the internet for free which meant
that the musicians didn't get paid for
it and that turned into I think it was
called nabster Napster yeah lime Wire
yeah yeah there were so many of these
different databases where you could just
pull free music and it it was crazy
before that there were CDs there was
even a brief period where there were
mini discs right people just kept making
improvements we call them disruptors now
because we found a way to glorify the
word cheat and make it into something
good so now there's disruptors but all
they were doing was taking advantage of
something that other people weren't
taking advantage of a new form of
Technology well how how did they get
access to a new form of Technology
because they got investors well how did
they get
investors they knew a guy who knew a guy
they shook a hand dad at the golf club
maybe they had five minutes with the
right guy on the right elevator who
knows but the people who don't get
investors look at the people who do get
investors and say that's not
fair that's just the way it is that's
the way life is you know what's not fair
it's not fair that some people are born
into a house where the cabin where the
the shed that they're born into is a
$300,000 a year shed and other people
are born into a shed that's a $30,000 a
year shed that's not fair nothing is
fair so once you accept that nothing is
fair that also means there isn't really
anything that's unfair you can do
whatever you need to improve yourself
and your life so I'm in the shed and
I've just I've listened to you so I
realized that I am in a shed and that
the rules I've been conditioned to
believe aren't necessarily um they're
rules but they're breakable rules and I
have every right to break them what is
what do you think is step one Beyond
there beyond the aarness I'm going to
give you two answers because there's the
reality of the answer but then there's
my
preferred response right the reality of
the answer is once
people the reality is that most people
have already thought about what I'm
saying I'm just giving words and
authenticity and credibility to what
they already believe so they're ready
for the next step and they just jump
right in they believe me I appreciate it
when people believe me but I don't want
people to believe me what I want people
to do is my preferred approach which is
to test the information test what I'm
saying learn a framework that we teach
it everyday spy learn a framework that
you and I talk about put it into
exercise if it works you just tested
something now you can believe something
now you can change your mindset and
change your framework but too often
people just
believe I appreciate it when they
believe me makes me feel good but it's
not what I'm trying to teach people to
do what I want people to do is actually
test it test it and because if they test
it they make it their
own if here's the problem with every
teacher I've ever had with the exception
of two or three they tell you something
is the facts and then you know that at
the end of the week you have to take a
quiz on what they told you was the facts
and then you know that at the end of the
semester you have to take an exam on
what they told you was the facts they
don't ever teach you to test or question
the facts and we we know at our age in
our success level that history is
written by the winners but there's
always two sides to history and then
when you think about the political the
religious the personal ramifications of
everything that happens you realize
there's multiple different versions of
Truth there may only be one fact but
there's multiple versions of Truth so
how do we we're not even conditioned to
learn to question the truth to find the
fact instead we're just taught that the
truth that we're taught is the facts and
that's how we end up in a world like we
have today where people can can say
whatever they want to say and people
believe them instead of testing what you
hear to see if it really is worth
transitioning or transforming your
belief system it sounds like you're
making a distinction between like
knowledge and belief what what we call
information information and knowledge
exactly right okay so information is
what what someone might say to you but
then knowledge is what you actually know
to be true correct there's a fly wheel
that we have in the intelligence world
and it's a triangle and the top of the
triangle is information and then
information flows into knowledge and
then knowledge flows into experience so
what happens is you learn information
from that information you develop
knowledge and then you test that
knowledge through experience and what
happens when you go out and take action
in an experience you get more
information which yields more knowledge
which you test through experience which
yields more information and you have
this very positive flywheel that's how
the int Ence cycle works but what
happens in society what happens in a in
a state system that requires people to
become predictable and obedient and and
respectful and uh collegial is they skip
the experience part they say this is
information this is knowledge and here's
more new information and here's more new
knowledge and they never give people the
opportunity to test the knowledge for
themselves so I'm breaking out the shed
and I'm going to try and test some of
this information that I'm going to learn
today and in this conversation um what
is a good example of something that
you've seen in your practice when
working with people at the everyday spy
has helped someone to change their life
like a framework that's that typically
helps people to change their life in the
most profound way as it relates to
business sales their career whatever one
of the ones that jumps to mind right
away is the it's a simple framework
about perspective versus perception and
we may have mentioned this actually in
our previous conversation Stephen uh
perception is what you believe to be
true about the world around you
perspective is what other people believe
to be true about the world around them
so as I sit here looking at you this is
my perception my perception is that I'm
sitting in the center seat and you're
sitting outside of me and everything
else is built around me at the center
well guess what your perception is the
same thing I'm across a table from you
you're at the center and everything in
this room is built around you you mhm so
our perceptions are never going to be
the same so the only way that I can find
common ground with you is to stop
thinking about what's happening around
me from my perception and start thinking
from your
perspective because then I get my
perception plus your perception combined
I get twice as much information to think
through this specific situation how do
you train that can you train someone's
have both points of view absolutely so
here's here's how I mentioned that
awareness is is the first step right
really we have a three-step process at
CIA that we use when we teach spy skills
to Future spies because that's all CIA
is CIA is a giant training engine that's
constantly creating new spies and then
spies just go out and spy but what CIA
really does is train spies who then
steal secrets and combine and compile
those secrets to to share with uh with
decision makers on the hill right cia's
system of teaching is a system where you
educate first you exercise second and
then you experience third remember that
flywheel so you educate that's your
information you exercise that's where
you turn information into knowledge and
then you experience and that's where you
actually go out and test the knowledge
to see if the knowledge is still
applicable in the world that you live in
today so those are the three steps so
whenever you're trying to get anyone to
break a barrier whenever you're trying
to get anyone to transform all you have
to do is educate them help them to
exercise which means practice what they
learned in a controlled space and then
kick them out the door to go do it for
themselves it's like kicking a bird out
of the nest so if I can you make this
very real for me because I want to I
want to be someone that can walk through
the world and appreciate my perception
of a situation but also the other
person's perspective so if we just put
this in the context of me here as a
podcast host how would I be able to
implement this to become a better
podcast host like understand the other
person's perspective and the way that
you're seeing the world absolutely so we
had a whole conversation before the
cameras turned on yeah right can you
tell me five things that you remember
about me that I shared during the time
before the cameras turned on yes go
ahead okay you want me to say them
because we're talking about absolutely
it's private stuff but tell me okay um
we're talking about your relationship
things you're going through at home you
said that in the last couple of days
Everything's changed because of the
assassination attempt on Donald Trump we
talked about you used to live in an RV
for a while and you've just recently
moved um Across America to to a new
place place you mentioned your kids as
well give me specifics oh god um you
said that you used to live in the RV
with your kids and there's
a they're varying ages I think I think
one of them is did you say three years
old close one of them was three years
old or something five in one when we Liv
in the [ __ ] yeah five and one you you
did great right those things that you
were that you recalled you recalled
those from what's known as your paleo
melean brain the back part of your brain
passive learning part of your brain mhm
because naturally when you are untrained
when you're untrained to think like a
spy you rely on passive knowledge you
rely on passive observation to create
prefrontal cortex knowledge all a spy
does is when they talk to you they turn
on they turn on the prefrontal part
right away and they start paying
attention to all the details right away
because the way that you gain someone
else's perspective is by listening to
what they're saying and seeing how
they're saying it because what happens
now when I sit with people I was just
with a client this morning who made a
comment on this when you're trained and
you sit with someone you are always
gaining more information about them than
they are about you when you know how to
practice perspective versus perception
because from the moment that you came in
and sat down you were very much in your
world you're sitting here in socks
you're sitting on your leg you're very
comfortable you're messing with all of
your Tech technology you're fighting
with your technology because it's not
exactly the way you want it to be like
this is this is Steve's World and
there's not a single thing wrong with
Steve's world but Steve's World isn't as
big as the world of Steve and Andy
together whereas when I came in here
just because of the way I'm wired I'm
paying attention to you I'm paying
attention to your producers I'm paying
attention to the set I'm paying
attention to the people who I've met
from your team in previous calls because
I'm trying to gain as much perspective
as possible before I sit at this table
with you in the cameras turn on and
we're on a one-way trip mhm because I
only get one chance so I want to have as
much information on my side moving
forward so you as a podcast co host your
original question was how do I use this
information how do I use these
Frameworks to become a better podcast
host every person who sits across the
table from you came from somewhere and
every time they leave the table you're
sitting at they're going somewhere and
they're bringing stress and they're
bringing pain and they're bringing
worries and they're bringing concerns
with them and they're leaving with the
same things mhm I know that your partner
is thinking about babies MH when you
talk about it that's how you talk about
it you say my partner is thinking about
getting pregnant you don't ever say
we're thinking about getting pregnant
which makes me wonder if she's more
excited about pregnancy than you
are I'm so
[Laughter]
[ __ ] oh pray the Lord she doesn't
listen to this am I accurate
so I do I can I match her EXC
levels she's changed the entire house at
home it's like she's expecting I don't
know what you but like the entire like
my shampoo is gone that's like her level
of excitement about it um but and you
know yeah so obviously I'm excited about
it but no of course I can't match her
level of like preparation and Obsession
about it no yeah but I'm paying
attention to you and which is that's the
only reason I even have the ability to
ask that question right because I'm
coming in and I'm trying to live in your
shoes the whole time I'm here I'm trying
to live in your shoes even as answer
your questions I'm trying to think what
can I do to bring value to Steve to the
Diary of a CEO to the audience that's
listening because this is my only time
to talk to you guys so what can I do to
maximize that value that's practicing
perspective so when you do that to your
guests you're going to unlock a whole
new level of podcasting from them
instead of being frustrated or curious
or wondering whether or not they're on
track or off track or whether or not
they're tired or not tired or whether or
not you're going to get the best
performance out of them if you literally
just took I mean we have an exercise we
have an exercise called get quiet at CIA
and in a get quiet exercise all you do
is
just get quiet you stop overwhelming
your sensory organs your eyes your ears
your feelings your taste buds your your
nose your old factory you get yourself
into a place where your sensory organs
can take a break because what happens
when you don't overload your sensory
organs is your brain starts to index and
when your brain starts to index it gives
you a higher level of awareness a higher
level of observational skills so
especially before you go into an area
where you want to make observations you
want to quiet your sensory organs so
that you can go in with fresh sensory
organs it's kind of like cleaning your
pette before you try a certain ice cream
right the reason that we do that is
because we want to gain as much
prospective information as possible so
that we have the informational Advantage
going into any situation understanding
that most people are coming in
living in their own perception consider
applying this to business right you are
a coffee shop well there's 500 other
coffee shops there's five other coffee
shops just in in two square miles of
where your coffee shop is so when you
think about your own product you think
well my coffee is superior it's from
Ethiopia we roast it here and it smells
great and whatever else or you think my
building is better because we have we
have local artists on the wall and we
play local musicians like right like
that's what they think that's what the
owner of the coffee shop thinks but they
don't stop to think about the customer
who buys the coffee because the customer
who buys the coffee is coming from
somewhere and then going to somewhere
and the coffee shop is just one stop
along the way so if you really want to
become the coffee shop that everybody
wants to go to you have to think about
life through their eyes through their
perspective why are they drinking the
coffee oh they're drinking the coffee
because they're a new
mom so then what else does a new mom
need what else does a new mom want when
she goes to a coffee shop maybe she
wants other moms to be there maybe she
wants specials maybe she wants uh she
wants to find little things to buy her
kids who knows what you can change your
shop to fit your customer if you're open
to their perspective otherwise all
you're doing is creating your own little
circle your own little shed so in terms
of practi iCal things that you do so
that you can really tune into someone's
perspective is the most important one
just
listening yes but there's a Twist
because you also have to dig for the
information you want so you have to know
how to ask questions and you have to be
willing to ask questions there's another
exercise that we have at CIA called
windows and doors in a conversation
people will open Windows Windows in
conversation which means I might ask you
one thing or you might ask me something
and then in my response mon I hint at
something else that's a window right you
started this conversation by asking me
what season of my life am I in that was
a fantastic question to open Windows and
Doors because you don't know what the
answer is but you're going to
choose what you hear to decide where you
go next the same thing happens in a
normal conversation right you can you
can see windows and doors when they
present themselves when you are trying
to cultivate perspective over somebody
you want to choose the windows and doors
that you follow through in the
conversation specifically to collect the
kind of information that you want to
gain that perspective so if I'm trying
to sell something to you if I'm trying
to sell something to you as an
entrepreneur I'm going to follow the
windows and doors that open up in
conversation that take me to understand
better what limitations or challenges
you're having as an entrepreneur so if
I'm trying to buy if you're a car
salesman and I'm I'm a customer and I
want to buy a car what kind of questions
would you start asking me to I love this
I love this exercise cuz I actually just
had to buy a car after we moved and I
was shocked at how horrible my car
salesman was because he he did not think
this way right why do people buy a car
I'm I
have I'm going to let you practice your
perspective on me when I moved to
Colorado Springs in May why did I have
to buy a car because you have kids nope
you have two kids oh because um you have
to well is you mentioned Colorado
Springs so I suest Rec I I guess that's
pretty pertinent your answer but you
have to travel a lot around Colorado
because it's quite um quite vast isn't
it you need a mode of transportation MH
that's the only reason anybody buys a
car that's where you have to start
because then you have to think well why
are they here if you're a Subaru
dealership and somebody walks in you
already know that they've pre-qualified
a number of things they must be looking
for a Subaru they must be looking for a
two wheel car they must be looking for
an all-wheel car or else they wouldn't
be here MH so you can kind of make those
assumptions if you practice perspective
when they walk in and then when they
walk in that's when you find out oh
they're a parent so I'm looking for a
mode of
transportation that's also safe because
I'm a parent I'm a I have a family of
four so I'm looking for a mode of
transportation that's safe for at least
four people if you practice a little bit
of perspective you learn a lot more
about the person that you're trying to
close so now I ended up buying a Nissan
Pathfinder a brand new Nissan Pathfinder
ER not because my salesman was any good
but because I went to the Nissan
dealership already wanting a brand new
Pathfinder just like you did but I
always go through this experience to see
what it's what's the salesperson going
to do like are they going to try to sell
me something good are they going to try
to sell me something wrong are they
going to understand my specific needs or
am I going to have to coach them through
this whole thing my company gets hired
to give sales training to high
performance sales teams and what I'm
shocked at is how often even with a high
performing sales team salespeople don't
practice perspective and perception what
they practice is whatever script they're
supposed to read and they practice
empirical numbers and they practice the
the law of averages and it's like I need
to make a 100 calls to convert 12%
that's what they practice instead of
practicing something just a little bit
more efficient like changing your
opening line to ask an open-ended
question just like you did an open-ended
question is a question that makes the
person on the other side of the phone
speak through the lens of their current
reality do you know what the um I've
never said this before but there's a
question I ask every guest in the
Preamble and I don't know if I asked you
but but I I ask 99% of guests when we
sit down um and it's what's front of
mine few at the moment and for me the
reason I asked that question is because
um kind of what you said because people
come here and I I I assume that there's
something that happened when they woke
up this morning or there's something
that's bugging them that my research
team wouldn't have been able to find on
the internet that they haven't yet said
in an interview and it's been so
unbelievably amazing when you ask that
question and then there was one
particular conversation I had which was
one of my favorite of all time where it
was with Simon cynic and because I've
spoken to Simon cynic three times on the
podcast I didn't like have research like
we've talked about everything so I sat
down and I had to Fig sit down and
figure out where the conversation was
going to go for the next three hours and
so my opening question to him was really
broad it was um how are you and please
give me the long answer and you have to
be honest and he literally for the first
time ever in his life when do you know
what I'm feeling really lonely right now
and for him to say that a guy like that
to say that was like whoa and if I had
sat down with my okay today we're going
to talk about management strategies I
totally would have missed one of my
favorite conversations of all time um
but you have to have a lot of trust in
yourself this is what I've come to learn
as a podcaster to be able to sit down
without any questions written down here
and to ask a really open-ended question
and then to try and follow them like
wherever they might take you well that's
what's what's interesting is that one of
your super hours as a podcaster is that
you have a
plan but you don't always stick rigidly
to your plan you go wherever the guest
takes you you go where Simon synic takes
you right I've taken you down this long
path about living in a shed that I'm
sure was not on your agenda and I'm sure
lost a good half of the people that we
were talking to early on
but my point with all that is just to
say you you practice what is called
courage and courage is courage is a word
that is definable and people don't often
take the time to really Define what
courage is courage is doing the thing
that you're afraid of that is courage so
going off script and asking a question
coming in unprepared for a podcast those
are things that cause you a little bit
of fear a little bit of anxiety you're
like I don't know how this is going to
turn out but you do it anyways one of
the major differences between
entrepreneurs and aspirational
entrepreneurs is that entrepreneurs have
the courage to try and aspirational
entrepreneurs are always talking about
the day that they will have the courage
to try trust comes into this right
because um part of the reason that I can
sit down with someone for three hours
and not necessarily have a I've never
had a question written down but not even
have an idea of where the conversation's
going to go is because I have so many
case studies that it's been fine in the
past and it's it's it's those case
studies that have built up this sort of
self trust that enables me to sit down
and go how are you and then they they go
off about loneliness and we spend three
hour talking about loneliness but that
comes from that initial Trust I think I
think trust is a good word trust is self
trust I'm trying yeah yeah self trust or
or confidence those are good words to
use but I would almost challenge that
what you're really talking about is
you're you're
gambling on odds that you've learned or
in your
favor right it's kind of like when you
think about a professional athlete
professional athletes do some amazing
movements sometimes they make the score
and sometimes they don't but what
happens is when make the score doing an
amazing movement that's what we all
remember when they miss the shot doing
the amazing movement nobody remembers
that right nobody remembers how many
basketball shots Dennis Rodman didn't
make right they just remember something
else about Dennis Rodman Arnold
Schwarzenegger has his famous quote
where he he he made lots of movies we
all remember our favorite Arnold
Schwarzenegger movie but how many of his
bad movies do you remember not many and
he knows that too and that's one of the
reasons that he said yes to so many
movies was because he learned early on
in his bodybuilding career that nobody
remembers when you lose but they always
remember when you win so he had no
problem making a bunch of movies because
the one or two or three or 12 or 18 that
became Blockbusters were the ones that
defined him even though he also did
Kindergarten Cop I mean that that's
quite a good
um that's quite a good concept to hold
in your mind if you're trying to weigh
up any sort of risk in your life like
the risk of leaving this show that we
were talking about correct you're you're
taking a chance you're taking a gamble
but here's the thing we're conditioned
in our shed we're conditioned to gamble
on the
system right if you're going to roll the
dice at least roll the dice that the
system gives you right bet on the house
because the house is going to
win what we really learn as
entrepreneurs is to gamble on ourselves
like bet on you how many people take
every dollar they earn and they invest
it in a brokerage that's managed by
somebody else that is targeting an 8%
return on investment MH that's what they
do with every dollar of their life my my
mother-in-law just recently retired
about three and a half or four weeks ago
she is what do you have to be to retire
69 I think so she's 67 or 68 years old
she's worked her entire life her primary
investment vehicles I [ __ ] you not are
CDs it's a device in the investment
world where you basically put your money
in for a certain amount of time and it
guarantees you a certain yield and that
yield is usually very very low but that
was her preferred investment vehicle so
for the 69 years or the or the uh 50
years that she's been working she's been
investing in these low
performance certificates of deposit
CD that is exactly the kind of thinking
that was conditioned into her by the
generation before her that's where she
learned about CDs at all that's why she
bought her first CD at 16 years old was
because Mom and Dad told her to do that
so here it is 2024 she's retiring and
all of the money that she saved is
basically in these certificates of
deposit which is not a lot of money
really yes because it doesn't grow
whereas I invest in my company and my
return has been 300% M and entrepreneurs
even entrepreneurs who don't grow
quickly still see 12% return on
investment 15% return on investment 20%
return on investment which outperforms
anything in the
Market but you still have these people
who don't want to gamble on themselves
because they're afraid that the house
will
win who can't be taught the things that
you teach in terms of the CIA skills and
everything you teach within everyday spy
there's a lot of people out there who
already who right out of the gates had a
circle drawn around them that CIA is
some kind of deep state conspiracy kills
Americans sells children steals drugs
kind of organization are they wrong
[Laughter]
maybe there was a CIA that did that once
but my point is those people are never
going to believe what I have to teach
them there are threads all over the
Internet about how I'm a fake and a
phony and a fraudster and and there's
even there's for every one of those
threads there are also threads that talk
about how I'm a plant how I'm still a CA
officer I did read that in the comment
section isn't that funny quite funny so
there's like there's both sides these
are people who cannot they'll never be
open to learn they're not willing to
learn how do I know you're not still a
CIA officer does it matter no it doesn't
it doesn't matter if you get if you can
take the information and test the
framework and get ahead does it matter
well actually maybe if the fra okay you
said you're the right point there you
said test it myself because you could be
teaching me things that are going to
just keep me trapped in The Matrix
because you know but I don't want you
trapped in The Matrix but I don't know
that you could still be a CIA spy I
could be but the key thing you said is
that you're giving them to me to test
for myself so I get the results to check
right whether what you're teaching me is
positive or negative productive or not
productive correct and that's that's
what really drives me what drives me is
this vision of a future that's good for
my children and the future that's good
for my children is a future where the
United States is still the most powerful
economy in the world still the most
powerful military in the world and
according to all
reports that is not what will happen by
2035 by 2035 we will be at parity with
at least another country most likely
China and as we reach parity what that
means is you reach equality as you reach
equality your superpower status goes
away you are no longer a superpower you
are a near peer power or a near peer
competitor it's very different than
being a superpower why does it matter
because when there's competition there's
more uncertainty there's more
unpredictability there's more Danger
there's more risk there's less
opportunity think about the starting
quarterback for a football team he's the
starting quarterback he is the person he
is the the player that will start the
game that will have the football and
nobody questions it there's a lot of
opportunity there for that person but as
soon as they start to be unpredictable
as soon as there's a new star a new
quarterback that comes in and threatens
the existing quarterback now we don't
really know who's going to start and the
team doesn't really know who's going to
start and then for all we know the team
is going to have two different
quarterbacks that that swap in and out
throughout the entire game and the whole
team performs worse because they don't
know how to predict the quarterback
because the new quarterback or the old
quarterback isn't the one that's always
throwing the ball so there's there's an
uncertainty that comes as a as
competition arises it's why business
owners want to be in a business of one
it's why there's such a thing as a blue
ocean marketing strategy versus a red
ocean marketing strategy because when
you're in a blue ocean when you have no
competitors around you your business
will most likely Thrive you have room to
make mistakes you can learn slowly but
when you're in a highly competitive red
ocean you don't get any of those
opportunities what does history tell us
about how changing the changing of the
God as it relates to world
power what the dangers might be for the
average
person it's a great question and this is
where I want to re-emphasize my lack of
altruism right because what does
altruism mean for anyone that doesn't
know so altruism is is this idea that
you care about other people or that you
care about a common good right I I don't
care about a common good care about
other people I care about some other
people your children
correct my family my friends the people
that I think are making a difference and
that's just the way it is why will some
people not be willing to learn what I
teach them because they will disagree
with my ethics and my morals about how I
don't care about all people equally well
I just I prefer I like the fact that
you're honest so I mean that makes me
trust you more so I appreciate that yeah
so if you look at history Rome was
really good for Romans for a long long
time the fall of Rome was bad for
everybody the transition was bad for
everybody coming out of World War II
right when you were a Nazi in Nazi
Germany things were pretty good right
but then when Nazi Germany fell it was
bad for a lot of people there was a lot
of War there was a lot of death there
was a lot of starvation multiple
countries had been destroyed there was a
war there was a transition of power same
thing happened at fall of Soviet Union
the you in that War I was watching a
documentary about it the other day it
was interesting because I watched both
the sort of Soviet Union rush into
Berlin and I was America rushed into
Berlin they kind of they both um took
different parts of Germany and then once
they taken down the Nazis they kind of
went to war with each other correct
because they then were trying to figure
out who was in charge of Germany and how
they were going toct divy up land so
there was another War basically like a
civil war following the and the same
thing happened in China the same thing
happened as as our Pacific forces kind
of work their way up through Japan there
became conflict in the east as well
right so transition periods where nearer
countries or where countries become
near-peer competitors that's not people
don't stop competing as the competition
increases like what's what's happening
in the world right now in Ukraine and
Russia in in Israel with Hamas with the
houthis and with the Iranians like
what's happening is competition is on
the rise so everything becomes less
stable Things become more dangerous when
there's a clear bully in the playground
there's only one bully and nobody has to
mess with the bully and it's a bad day
for anyone the bully messes with but for
the most part everybody else is good but
what happens when there's two bullies
[ __ ] gets messy the bullies make posies
the Posies have to fight with each other
other more people get hurt more Rabel
rousing happens in the playground than
when there's just one
bully so for me the United States is the
bully on the playground and I as an
American citizen am living in a place
where it's pretty good to be on the
bully side so for me pragmatically
speaking if I want the best for my
children what I really need is for the
United States to remain the only bully
so then I can have some impotence some
some confidence that their future will
be secure do you think the war in the
Ukraine and Russia is a symptom of the
changing in power because it's kind of
like a proxy war right you've got
Ukraine is actually the USA and Russia
is actually kind of China to some degree
so I would say it's not kind of a proxy
war it's a full-on proxy war you're
you're 100% right I didn't even know
what proxy war is I just use that term
because it sounded smart well it does
sound smart it is smart proxy war is a
Doctrine it's an actual military
doctrine that says that you create
what's known as interstate conflict
which means conflict in internal to a
state and then external wealth parties
fund the conflict in the state that way
the two external parties that are in
Conflict don't have to waste any lives
it protects them diplomatically it
protects them socially it protects them
militarily they're only spending
resources in an interstate conflict the
interstate conflict has always been
inside Ukraine eastern Ukraine and
Western Ukraine have always been in
Conflict we just didn't realize it until
Russia invaded because nobody paid
attention to Ukraine same thing in
Israel there's always been conflict
between the Palestinians and the
Israelis we just didn't really pay
attention to it until until October 8th
so the the conflict that you're talking
about is is not a symptom it's a
strategy and the strategy is that the
United States can drain Russian
resources without draining American
lives which makes it easy for the United
States to continue draining strategic
resources from Russia and then NATO is
watching the same thing happen and
NATO's the one that has the most to lose
if Russia is strong so then that's why
they also Pile in support that's the
strategy that has been the United States
strategy since the end of World War II
who rebuilt Japan the United States who
rebuilt the UK the United States who
rebuilt Germany who rebuilt France all
the United States is it any surprise
that all of these countries since World
War Two have then been close diplomatic
political and economic allies no and
guess what they all have they all have
very similar sheds because we built
their political systems from World War
II based on ours right that's the
American model that's been how America
has grown economically so quickly all
over the world guess who's mimicking
that model
now China the real conflict between the
United States and China nobody can
Define it Trump calls it a trade War
because we have a bunch of cheap Chinese
Goods that's not the problem
the problem is that Xin
ping understands that what he wants for
China is for China to be an a net
exporter of high
technology who's the only other high ex
net exporter of high
technology the United States the United
States makes electric vehicles China
makes electric vehicles United States
makes telecommunication China makes
telecommunication that's the conflict
because what China is doing is giving
the rest of the developing World an
alternative to the United States well if
just like any other business if I make
coffee and you make coffee we're in
competition for the person who wants to
buy coffee so now we're fighting over
that person whoever wins that person
wins more money whoever wins that person
wins repeat buyers and now I might lose
my company my coffee shop might shrink
and your coffee shop might grow because
this person is choosing your coffee when
it used to be only mine was
available
so who is better for America Joe Biden
or Donald Trump neither they are both
bad for America in different ways who is
more likely to prolong American
dominance Donald Trump of the two Donald
Trump of the two here here's what I'm
going to tell you I had this thought
last night and I was going to make it a
video for my own channel but my channel
is nowhere near as enjoyable as your
channel you put it on yours as
well there is only one Democrat in the
United States who can beat Donald Trump
only one nobody else stands a chance
Democratic party is struggling to accept
that nobody can beat Donald Trump it's
only one that can win and that's
Michelle Obama I did think this because
I mean I would say Barack but obviously
he can't because he's done his eight
years but Michelle I I I do agree and
she doesn't want anything to do with it
she said she said in early July she
wanted nothing to do with it but what's
happened since early July there's been
the assassination attempt on Donald
Trump the assassination attempt turned
into this incredible media frenzy now
you have this guy with blood on his face
and a fist in the air and a flag behind
him you have a pullitzer prizewinning
photo already floating around the
internet with this guy on it right
everything
changed there's no way Michelle Obama
isn't sitting in her
room multiple times a day asking herself
the question do I still want nothing to
do with this or do I have to step up to
the plate to do what I believe is the
right thing to do because only I can do
it think about the questions Barack
Obama must ask Michelle Obama think
about The Silence the pregnant silence
around their kitchen table at night
think about how heavy they must be
thinking right now because they know
what I just said out loud that you knew
yesterday there's only one Democrat that
can beat Donald Trump and maybe in July
3D she said she wanted nothing to do
with it but now it's July
20th and if she really believes in this
country how is she not G to rise to the
occasion how is she gonna sit back and
let the future of her daughters rest in
the hands of somebody she doesn't
believe in because the truth is if she
were to run
overnight she would have the complete
support of the entire Democratic
National Convention every donor who has
already donated money would let their
money stay with her and probably donate
more Women Voters African-American
voters voters that were on the fence
voters that are looking for any
alternative to Donald Trump or Joe Biden
they would all get their answers given
to them at once not to mention the fact
that she's brilliant she's esteemed
she's youthful like everything that
America stands for is represented in
Michelle Obama just as much as what we
say America stands for is represented by
Donald Trump so if Michelle Obama is
announced at the Democratic National
Convention I'm glad we had this
conversation you do you do you think
that's possible absolutely it's possible
I don't think it's probable okay but I
do think it's possible and I can't help
but have the Hope in our country that
the few who are willing to
learn will step up and accept that they
have to gamble on themselves do you
think that Michelle Obama would increase
the probability and the length of
America's dominance versus Trump
absolutely it would just be in a
different way Donald Trump grows through
bravado and brings manip he grows like a
bully grows but what we've learned about
the United States is that our bullish
strategy our bully strategy that we've
been employing since
1950 is a game of diminishing returns we
invest a lot into it but we lose
influence we lose Global reach we lose
power we're losing economic might they
say that China's having an economic
recession right now at 4.5% growth GDP
we at 1.3% growth
GDP nobody's talking about our recession
because our recession has been on so
long it's not a recession anymore it's
just the United States doesn't grow more
than really 3% China used to grew at 5%
so when it goes from 5% to 4% it's a big
deal for
people our model is already broken our
our model already doesn't work so all
Donald Trump is going to do is come in
and double down on that model because
he's only got four years in the house
he's only got four years in the white
house and he knows it so he's not out
there to Revolution America he's not out
there to revolutionize the United States
like he's out there for Donald Trump I
think he believes he'll do a good job I
think he believes he's best for America
I think he believes that that being a
bully is the way to
go but that doesn't mean he's right that
doesn't mean it's going to be
exponential return on investment it
could be a continuing game of
diminishing returns Michelle Obama has
the opportunity to do it differently as
long as she doesn't come in just paring
the Joe Biden and Barack Obama School of
thought what would what do you think she
would need to say to meet America's
ideology right now I think she could
Define America's ideology right now I
don't think she'd have to meet it I
think America is lost America has been
looking down the barrel of the 2024
election for a long time knowing it was
going to boil down to Trump versus Biden
knowing that it was going to boil down
to an octogenarian who can't form a
sentence from a stage sometimes or a
crazy ass businessman who when he forms
a sentence it's a nonsensical sentence
like that's what we've been looking at
that's that's been the choice doesn't
really feel like it's a choice anymore
it's no because after Trump got shot in
the ear I think I mean I watched those
scenes as well and I thought yeah this
guy's won he won and that's the he and
everybody knows it if you're not willing
to admit it that's fine everybody knows
he won the election on that day the day
he survived that shooting in Butler
Pennsylvania July 13th he won the 2024
election
unless something even more disruptive
happens in the marketplace between now
and November 5th Michelle Obama has the
power to do that if you were his in his
marketing team and you were desperate
you would have shot him in the air that
day wouldn't you no no way the risk is
too great I mean if you if you knew it
was going to hit his ear and you in his
marketing team you would have shot him
in the ear that day like if I I because
that was as we both said he won the
election that day yeah and he won the
election because he many people will now
see him as some kind of
hero so I I'll tell you how a CI officer
thinks about this right if you wanted to
Stage an attempted
assassination if that's what you want to
do was stage an attempt at assassination
you would never shoot at the person who
was the principal you would shoot away
shoot up in the principle the principle
is the primary target that you're trying
to support right so Donald Trump was the
principal if I was trying to Stage an
assassination to give to win him popular
praise I would not shoot at him because
the risk is too great that the shot
would either Miss and hit him possibly
hit him fatally or it would miss him and
hit someone in the audience and then a
rally member dies and now we have to
account for why somebody at the rally
died like people were killed and people
were hurt at the at the Donald Trump
rally in Butler Pennsylvania if you
wanted to Stage an assassination you
would shoot 3540 de off Target well away
from anybody accidentally getting hit
because what's going to happen
everybody's going to hear the gunshots
so the gunshots will still cause the
Panic the Secret Service would still
jump in they'd still cover him there'd
still be all the same news worthiness
without the risk of killing somebody and
if you really really wanted to make it
like so it it made headlines you could
even potentially stage some kind of cut
that's covered up with a small skin
colored Band-Aid so that when the shots
go off you can wipe off or pull off the
Band-Aid and then there's going to be
active red spots right you would never
actually shoot at the principal that's
what people don't understand about
conspiracies is that when you actually
plan to carry out a covert action you
plan to carry out the covert action in
the safest possible way you don't run
the risk of actually shooting the
principal so but let's play out the
scenario that it was a conspiracy so
what could have happened there and I I I
was in an office the other day one of
the companies that I'm involved with and
there was a group of people C gathered
around a laptop watching the footage and
half of the people thought it was some
kind of conspiracy and that maybe he
fell down and then like cut his own ear
and then the other half of the people
thought that that was that was craziness
what side of the fence do you sit on you
think it was a real shooter I think it
was a real shooter I absolutely think it
was a real shooter the the principles
that CIA teaches us about how to analyze
a situation are twofold they teach us
how to analyze a situation but they also
teach us how to predict a conspiracy and
conspiracies have a very clear Anatomy
they have a very clear process all
conspiracies start with something that
is factual something really does happen
and then immediately following the
factual thing there's a lack of
information inside of that lack of in of
information the third piece of the
puzzle is
speculation now speculation and
suspicion are very close cousins
suspicion is healthy right you've heard
of healthy suspicion speculation is not
healthy specul ation is what it takes
for you to create an answer to a story
that's not based on facts which is where
the fourth element of a conspiracy comes
from a a story that closes the loop
because when there's information missing
it creates an open loop well guess what
human brains like conveniently closed
Loops so we can't handle an open loop
very well for very long so then we start
speculating on what might have happened
until someone defines for us an answer
and then all of a sudden you have an
answer that closes the loop and you have
a conspiracy
conspiracies happen all the time
conspiracies happen in your own home
who's the last one that ate the who ate
the last piece of bread right who's the
one that drank the last bit of milk how
is there how are there no more eggs left
in the refrigerator right lack of
information leads to speculation and
then we close a loop with a story in our
mind when you look at what happened in
Butler Pennsylvania there's all the
elements for a for a conspiracy there's
facts a lack of information speculation
and somebody's closing the story Loop
and all these different spires are
gaining momentum but when you look at
the factual analysis of what happened
there are pictures there are diagrams
there's there's a Corps of a 20-year-old
shooter holding a high powerered rifle
on top of a roof aimed at the stage
there's reports of local sheriff and
local police officers being notified of
that there's bystanders who have
reported that there's there's technology
that's been that's been uh employed to
verify that there's enough facts there
to know that there really was someone
who was Young by name who took a shot at
the president that's what we know guess
what happens tomorrow we learn more we
don't have to know all the answers today
more information will come as soon as
Donald Trump was shot I called up one of
my friends who's a who's a secret
service a retired Secret Service Officer
and I said to
him that from my point of view from what
I understand about close protection
everything was done pretty close to
right
there's always gaps always gaps at any
kind of political rally that's why
they're dangerous you can't make it 100%
secure that's why there's snipers on the
roof there's not snipers on the roof
because they're they feel like the
grounds are safe there's snipers on the
roof because they know that there's gaps
there's not Secret Service on the sides
of the stage carrying guns because they
think that they're safe there's Secret
Service on the sides of the stage
because they know that there's gaps of
course there's gaps you can't you can't
manage all
risks the person took a shot from over
400 feet 400 ft is a long difficult shot
empirically it's a long difficult shot
even though the newspapers come out and
say it's a turkey shoot or an easy shot
or a standard shot or a basic shot it is
not any hunter out there will tell you
400 yards is a difficult shot and you
have to have a high-powered rifle built
for that kind of distance to shoot that
length so there's all kinds of
misinformation that's going around as
people try to spin up a story so for me
it was a real assassination attempt by a
real person whose motives are still
unknown I was I was listening to
something and the person was saying that
maybe this you know the CIA or some
somebody infiltrated this young man and
you know encouraged him over a period of
time to get up there on that roof and
all these kinds of things the the heart
of the problem here is we don't we don't
we're quite distrusting and we don't
have answers and most of us aren't
informed so there's basically the small
life that we live and then above us we
see like billionaires and powerful
people and we hear that they do and or
have historically done very nefarious
malicious things and that becomes our
sort of shed is that we are the average
person and then up there outside the
shed there's all these billionaires
powerful illuminarti and they are doing
these really malicious things now in
part that's
true but maybe only in part and we kind
of assume this broad strr approach to
anything that happens and we go
government Matrix
conspiracy um and you know the C CIA
does have history of doing things like
this true true we we're coming into a a
conversation that's twofold one we're
talking about a pre- 911
CIA pre- 911 post 911 is important to to
create a distinction for CIA because
prior to September 11th CIA was a small
highly
funded organization with very little
oversight they could come up with crazy
stuff like trying to you know trying to
poison Fidel Castro so his his beard
fell out or trying to create the Bay of
Pigs invasion or trying to do all sorts
of wacky stuff from you know MK Ultra to
whatever else that was a wacky pre- 911
unsupervised Wild West kind of CIA post
911 the 911 Commission written in 2003
highlighted that CIA failed to do its
job for September 11th so now there's
tons of oversight it's now a very large
very fat well-funded
bureaucracy whereas before it was a
well-funded free-for-all if it was a
conspiracy which department or which
organization would be responsible in
your opinion if it was a conspiracy
there would be no Department in charge
of the conspiracy so it would be
something else correct right because
when governments act when individuals in
a government act in a conspiratorial
manner it's not formalized if it was
formalized it would be a policy right
they act independently and there's all
sorts of instances where people act
independently from from Edward Snowden
all the way to aldri GES right there are
people who actually carried out
conspiratorial efforts to try to gain
some kind of Leverage that worked for
them for a while and then worked against
them if that bullet had hit Donald Trump
in the head how do you think the US
would be
different I was thinking about this when
I was driving down the street yesterday
it's hard to Define that really I was
thinking we probably wouldn't be sat
here now because there probably would
have been quite bit of unrest
potentially potentially I don't know I
don't know like I it it would have I
think we would have still been sitting
here I was wondering I would have gotten
my ass on a plane to come sit with you
at
least right so you never know how these
sort of domino effects can happen and
people can break out on the streets and
you know cuz what might happen let's
just play out the scenario Donald Trump
gets shot then some crazy right-wing
person comes out and shoots someone
else and then and then the streets of LA
look very different to the streets of LA
today and we sat here in La so do you
know what I mean that's kind of the
domino effect that was playing out in my
mind there'd be some kind of Revenge
right well I don't know that's what's
interesting so politically motivated
violence is tough if Donald Trump would
have been shot chances are the shooter
would have also been shot so from the
eyes of the American people and for sure
from the from the messaging that would
have come from the White House the
threat was neutralized and it's a
tragedy that we lost an American a
former American president Donald or Joe
Biden would have come out and would have
made kind caring remarks about Donald
Trump nobody would be talking about him
as crazy or whatever else he'd go down
as a hero following the Democratic
process for something he believed in
history would have been written a very
different way oh I don't know because I
think if Donald Trump had been hit I
mean this is just from chilling on
Twitter if Donald Trump had been hereit
regardless of whether that kid had been
shot and regardless of whatever people
would have believed that it was some
kind of deep State CIA left wing Hillary
Clinton involvement even if there was a
body fingerprints and they found the
kids hard drive and he was planning it
there's a group of people that still
would have believed that Absolut like
because there's a group of group of
people is you know that believe anything
correct and that group someone in that
group of people would have taken a
retaliatory action and then that this
this starts the stone throwing that I
think so they would have you know gone
they would might have been they might
have gone to a left
I don't know black uh event festival and
done something and then you have the the
ti for tat I don't I don't disagree that
it's a it's a possibility but the
question is whether or not a group would
have reached critical mass to take some
kind of action okay yeah right because I
mean think about the alternative the
alternative is is the streets of you
name the conservative State Texas
Florida whatever Pennsylvania maybe a
giant parade Fit For A King
right parading Donald Trump through the
streets something that and and Donal and
Joe Biden happily endorsing the money
for it to happen because he's an
ex-president and because that's showing
like unity and nationality it could have
been a chance to really bring the whole
country together and end some of the
bipolar division it could have there
would have still been just like you said
there would have been a group of people
who believed in some sort of deep State
action and there may have been follow-up
violence you're right again I think all
of those things are possibilities but it
is also Al a possibility that it would
have gone in the other direction there
still would have had to be a new a new
candidate identified by the Republican
National Convention so things would have
gone differently from that day very
interesting so going back to the shed
the person's come out of the shed they
understand this idea of perspective and
perception I'm really what I'm really
trying to get out here is I'm trying to
help people get out of the life they're
living that they hate and closer towards
the life that is aligned in whatever way
they Define alignment as so that they
can live the life they want to live so
they can start to kind of bend the world
in their favor and I use this term bend
the world intentionally because it's
something that I've come to learn in the
entrepreneurs that I've met and just the
people that seem to have the most power
they understand that the world they live
in is malleable and maybe that's the
analogy of being able to break out of
your shed but they understand that they
can like have an idea pursue the thing
and kind of convince their way to a goal
bend the world out of their way and
that's kind of what I want to equip the
people that are listening right now with
that ability to kind of bend the world
out of your way or to the shape in which
you want it to be I've got two things
that come to mind right the first is
there's this lesson that I learned at
CIA that I still teach now in my
training with Executives and individuals
and
entrepreneurs
where CIA warns us not to get tracked
not to get trapped in What's called the
Perfection
Paradox and the Perfection Paradox is
not the same thing as perfectionism the
Perfection Paradox is the idea that you
keep making incremental improvements to
a plan
but you never actually act on the plan
so you're seeking Perfection and you're
making genuine improvements but you're
not actually taking action so the impact
of your improvements is not felt so they
warn us against getting trapped in this
Perfection Paradox because you can
imagine if you're planning an operation
for whatever it's very very easy to just
start how do we make it this 5% better
how do we make it 2% better how do we
make it 1% better what if tomorrow's
intelligence gives us new information
what if intelligence the next day gives
us better information so you get trapped
in this Paradox and instead what they
tell us to do is engage in something
called the uh called Excellence through
execution Excellence through execution
is the idea that by executing you will
make mistakes and then you will improve
upon the mistakes because you will
execute again so Your Excellence comes
from
execution after 911 as a simple example
after 911 President Bush declared war
people were immediately deployed to the
mountains of Afghanistan and Pakistan
immediately did they plan an operation
yes in about 48 hours and then they were
deployed and then you had paramilitary
people on Horseback with mules carrying
stuff through the mountains the only way
that's possible is
through Excellence through execution get
them on the ground and let them figure
it out from there because the stakes are
so high the impact has to be felt right
now so to your question how do we give
people the ability to bend the rules
bend the world around them it's
understanding that there is excellence
and execution and also understanding
that there is a paradox with perfection
so if you want to feel the impact you
can't keep planning you have to take
action and you have to understand that
the action you take may only be 20% of
what it will be one day but today you
take the lumps you make the mistakes and
you get the impact that you need the
second thing that came to my mind is
actually coming from a I have a ctim
millionaire client that I work with
frequently and he was talking about this
idea of centimillionaire I've never had
that term before I know what it is yeah
yeah I have a ctim millionaire client
who who was working with me on a on a
process to try to resolve some of the
challenges that he was having from from
the trauma that he was wired that was
wired in him as a kid right and how that
trauma has played out in his personal
life and his business life and
everything else and he made this awesome
breakthrough where he was like you know
therapists and counselors and spouses
because he's been married more than once
they all tell you to go through your
pain right it's like you've got to face
your trauma you've got to go through it
you've got to do the work you've got to
Bear the burden so that you can heal
whereas what I teach which is what CIA
teaches is why would you ever go through
something when you can go around it
so if you're trying to accept or recover
or understand and heal the fact that
your mom cheated on your dad when you
were seven you can't change it by
working through it you might come to
accept it but what's the point instead
you can just go right around that pain
and you can be like my mom cheated on my
dad and because of that this happened
and because of that this other thing
happened and because of that I became a
self-sufficient independent person who
didn't rely on my mom or my dad and now
I'm very successful because all that
matters is what's forward I can't change
what's behind and he made this
Revelation on his own I thought it was
such a powerful visual because we so
often think that the point from here to
here if there's all this mess in the
middle you have to go through the mess
when in fact you can also just go around
the mess and you can go right to the
point and you you don't have to heal you
just have to accept understand recognize
and move forward and so what did he do
so he he was trying to overcome his
trauma what how did how does he go
around it that specific example well
what he was so in that specific example
it was under he went back to the
traumatic incident that he experienced
and what he realized is that if his mom
hadn't cheated on his dad then the
domino effect that would have come after
that would have probably never led to
him starting the business that
ultimately made him an ultra high net
worth and once he made that connection
he was like oh well [ __ ] I'm glad my mom
cheated on my dad because now my
daughters are taken care of my sons are
taken care of my wives are taken care of
like my I've got 500 employees that are
taken care of I do business in four
different countries everybody's taken
care of does that require some time
though between the thing that happened
and where you are now because you know I
was sat here yesterday with a chap who
lost his son his 18mon year old son in
April and you know it's hard to in that
situation go Francis Inu he's a UFC
champion
um Harding that situation to try and
find a way around it it's a couple of
months ago there's no there's no way
around tragedy
that's that's loss that very few of us
will ever know
thankfully what I what we don't know is
how that will shape him in the
future all we know is what that's doing
to hurt him in the present right think
about think about all the famous stories
all the famous inspirational
motivational leaders that you've met who
had some kind of tragedy happen in the
past well actually funny enough cuz I
cuz I mentioned the loss of a son I had
a guy s called Mo Gat who was the ex-
head of Google X and his son passed away
in a routine operation that should have
taken 10 minutes but killed his son and
then he quit his job at Google and went
on search of What happiness is and if
when I asked him on the podcast I said
would you would you bring back your son
um now he said no like if you could go
back and well I'm sure he bring back his
I think what he's saying to me is that
if he could go back and um change what
happened would he change it and he said
no it's important like it's important to
understand when you are
wired for Success because not everyone
is wired for Success a lot of people are
wired for mediocrity a lot of people are
wired for basic survival a lot of people
are wired for pain and suffering but
when you are wired for success
you can't regret what's happened to you
in the past because to erase it or
change it would be to make you not the
person you are now and the person you
are now is successful do you think some
people are wired for Success absolutely
I think people are wired for Success
what does that means in real terms how
do I know if I'm wired for success I
think empirically there's lots of proof
that you're wired for success but I'm
talking about you know Dave that's
listening to this now or Janet um how do
they know that if they wired for Success
so what what I have found pretty
consistently not only in clients that I
work with but also in the actual CIA
field operations that I've engaged in
right and it's important that the reason
I compare clients to spies is because
what spies are are people who are living
in a shed looking through a window and
realize there's something else on the
other side you can't cre you can't find
a happy person living in ignorance in
their shed and and convince them that
it's a good idea to commit treason
against their country you can't because
they're very happy once somebody's very
happy and very like satisfied they don't
aspire to anything so you can't go them
into telling you Secrets or pay them or
trick them or force them because they're
very satisfied where they are so a spy
is a a an asset in the field is somebody
who believes that there might be
something
better a a actual client wired for
success also believes that there is
something better the difference between
the two is that this person can be
manipulated which person the the spy in
the field who's who's desperate to get
out of the shed that person can be
manipulated whereas a good client is
suspicious and aware that people are
trying to manipulate them so they're
looking for guidance they're looking for
something they can test they're looking
for something they can prove right so
that's why I compare the two so closely
both are wired to be successful because
they already know that there is more
than just the world around them they
already know that there is something
limiting them they already know that
there's a
barrier and they by being aware that
they that there is a barrier that makes
them want to cross or break the barrier
that's what being wired for Success
means it means that you know that
there's something holding you back and
you want to overcome the thing that's
holding you back so for I'm thinking now
I was in a Black Cab the other day in
London and there's I have so many
conversation with conversations with
black cab drivers in London because they
a lot of them obviously because their
the nature of their work they listen to
podcast and the radio and such and so
sometimes they recognize me and they'll
say I was you know listening to podcast
I love it Etc um and I'm thinking of
starting a business and I've got this
idea and this idea and whatever when you
talk about them knowing that there's
something more out there but there's
something in their way can can you speak
to what that black cab driver is feeling
in his life I'm just using this as a
random example but can you cuz I really
want you to resonate with him so he
knows you're speaking to him so
whoever's listening to this now knows
that they can they go [ __ ] that's me
when you are conditioned when you're a
when you're a s when you're wired for
success but conditioned in our Western
Society
especially then you know that there's
more you want there to be more but you
also believe that there has to be a
process road map a recipe a plan to get
there so you you've got this what we
call a cognitive
dissonance you don't believe everything
you're hearing but you don't know
anything else to believe so there's this
dissonance there's this frustration so
if you want to know what that black Hab
driver feels they feel frustrated every
day because they know there's more they
want more they just don't know how to do
it even worse they have probably tried
dude there's this heartbreaking story
for me it's a business heartbreak
breaking story I I was in Portland
Oregon I was sitting with this
24-year-old kid who worked part-time at
a brewery right I must have been 38
years old very young and in everyday spy
everyday spy was was two years old the
time and I was sitting with this kid and
he had no ambition he worked part-time
at a brewery and he was totally happy to
do he lived with four roommates he drank
beer every afternoon starting at 2:00
funny [ __ ] guy really funny dude to
hang out with but he had no goals no no
Ambitions no aspirations and I was like
what did your parents do and he was like
oh my my mom ran her own business from
our farm in whatever it was Idaho or
something like that I was like oh what
did she do and he was like well she only
had her own business for a few years but
she would cater to the other families in
the other farming families so she would
make five or seven dinners and then sell
that to the other Farmers families so
they would have extra food so that the
wives of those families could F could
take care of their or 12 kids or
whatever and I was like oh that's
interesting why don't you want to be an
entrepreneur if your mom was an
entrepreneur and he was like oh well she
was really inspiring to me and at first
I thought I might want to be an
entrepreneur but the thing was my mom
never felt like a success because she
failed he was like my mom only was able
to run her catering business for about
three years before it failed and I was
like well why did you say she was an
entrepreneur and he was like because to
me she was she started a business she
ran it for three years doing what she
loved she was an entrepreneur but then
all that work she still failed in the
end so his rationale was why even try
but he still looked up to his mom as
being an entrepreneur so the thing that
kills me is that there are so many
entrepreneurs out there who are trying
and failing and some of them after they
failed two or three times they stopped
trying and they just accept the shed and
they accept that this is the circle
that's drawn around me and this is the
way it has to be they don't even realize
that one or two or three or four more
attempts is going to be when they get
their big breakthrough all they need is
a recipe so I'm just my goal in every in
life every day is just get one more
person to follow the simplest recipe
what is your favorite case study of
someone that followed the recipe and
changed their life in my company yeah my
my favorite case study is me yeah
because I'm the one that reaps the
benefits of it every day I have multiple
people who have had some pretty awesome
success I I have uh one gentleman who
recently wrote to me who told me that
for the first time in his life I think
he was in his mid-30s for the first time
in his life he has a six-figure job now
and he was an engineer and he wrote me
to tell me that one of the Frameworks
that we taught him through our company
helped him get a $31,000
$32,000 raise and a promotion to a
senior level in his company where for
The Last 5 Years he'd been asking for a
promotion asking for a raise and his
boss has always just told him no or he
wasn't qualified or he wasn't fit but
then he started practicing one of our
Frameworks and nine months later was
promoted asking which framework he
didn't tell me which framework oh he
told me it was coming from our ma we
have a master course called operational
thinking and inside that we teach many
influence Frameworks so it was clearly a
a framework of influence that he had
tapped into I also recently had we have
this event in Las Vegas called the Intel
Edge where we bring in a number of
speakers from the intelligence world I
have an FBI speaker who comes in I have
a Green Beret who comes in I have a
exercise scientist come in I even had a
recently I had a great friend of mine
who's an emm award-winning journalist an
investigative journalist come in and we
teach in Las Vegas we teach hundreds of
people at a time we had one person who
wrote from that Intel Edge event um he
was a Puerto Rican guy his name is
Emanuel Emanuel if you're listening I
love you brother but Emanuel just had a
baby first baby with his wife
and within the first month of having the
baby his company laid him off so he had
all these Life Changes a new baby he was
so proud and so excited to be a dad and
then he was facing unemployment and he
applied our framework specifically our
framework on mirroring and winning the
interviewer instead of winning the
interview and about three months after
he was laid off he got a new job in a
science lab that paid him more than he
had ever earned before
and he came to the next Intel Edge event
that we had so we saw him in say October
and he came back to us again in March
something like that and he came back and
he told us this story and the whole my
whole team lit up my whole team was like
because we had all seen him when he was
when he was showing his pictures of the
baby and then we all saw the email from
him that said my company laid me off I
don't know how I'm going to take care of
my family and then we see him again and
he's like guys you'll never believe what
happened like I did this thing I
followed your mirroring example I W over
over the interviewer and now I have this
job that I would have never gotten
otherwise these are the stories that I'm
spoiled by I I have my customer service
team and and even my executive team we
don't see all the testimonials that we
get because they've we've become a
little bit desensitized to them because
they happen so often and I love it when
they happen but I'm not surprised when
they happen because of course the
recipes work the recipes work because
they were refined in the in the center
of CIA they've been working for ages
they just haven't ever been shared with
the public I think the reason why I
loved those two subjects in school that
I was really good at or at least that I
enjoyed therefore I was better at um I
mean for me to be good at something I
mean I didn't go to many lessons in
school so I was bad at most things but
the two lessons that I went to were
psychology and business and at a very
young age I think maybe 14 years old
that had this idea implanted into my
head that I always have repeated I'm 31
now and I think I've definitely repeated
this this sentence or this this
phrase 10 times a year since I was 14
and the Crux of it is that the only
thing standing in my way of being the
world's greatest entrepreneur
philanthropist sales person is just a
bunch of people like very early on I had
the seed in my head that the barriers to
life the barriers to riches to whatever
you want are just people so if you can
understand people and how to influence
them then you hold the keys to the City
the proverbial proverbial City so when
you talked about this influence
framework I thought maybe that's the
most important thing to talk about
because a do you agree with what I said
as like a foundational seed in your mind
that it's just people um and then B I'd
love to talk about how we influence
people so yes I agree with you that
people are all that stand in the way and
we have to remember that we ourselves
are people yeah so we're part of the
problem yeah um and influence Frameworks
are
powerful
Frameworks for getting what you
want I think the place to start because
not all Frameworks are simple remember
how we were talking about there's
foundational Frameworks there's twep
Frameworks and then there's 12ep step
Frameworks right the thing to understand
is Frameworks all fit within each other
they fit like nesting dolls like Russian
nesting dolls so when you
learn any kind of framework that has to
do with influence what you're also have
to learn are the sub Frameworks inside
of it to be able to execute the whole
thing but the place to really start is
understand that influence and persuasion
are not the same
thing right persuasion is what happens
when you actively put energy into
changing someone's mind or getting
someone to take a certain action with
active energy influen is what you have
when you're not
talking so I can sit here and try to
persuade you to come with me to dinner
mhm but that's not influence that's
persuasion influence is what happens
when something happens in the world and
I'm the one that comes into your mind
and you're like I wonder what Andy
thinks about that which probably doesn't
happen but one day hopefully it will
happen if I gain enough influence right
that's the difference persuasion takes
energy influence is passive it doesn't
happen it takes a lot of experience it
takes a lot of Engagement it takes a lot
of assessment energy trust it takes a
lot of effort to get someone to a place
where you have influence over them but
there's a framework for that there are
Frameworks and Frameworks within
Frameworks that I'm happy to teach if
you want to go through those yeah
whatever you think is most useful for me
and my
audience so I'll start with this I'll
start at the lowest possible place right
and the lowest possible place if you if
you think of influence up here MH as a
umbrella there's a sub frame work inside
of that umbrella and then there's a
third inside of that so we're going to
start with that one first and grow and
that framework is something called sense
making because if I want to influence
you or if you want to influence me we
have to make sense of the dynamic of our
relationship meaning one of us has to be
in power and one of us has to comply
with the other person's power that's the
whole goal of sense Mak so that's why we
we are starting at that framework inside
sense Mak if you imagine it like a cup
MH
right sense Mak is like a cylinder and
just like you fill a cup with water
you'll fill this cylinder with scense
the bottom third of the cup is what we
call avoidance that's where every
relationship starts every time you meet
a new person you try to avoid that
person it's the first thought you have
even if you don't want to admit it no
I'll admit
it no that's very much the nature of my
life that's the nature of every that's
human nature we avoid what's new so the
first third is avoidance so you've got
to fill the water you've got to fill the
relationship you have to put enough time
and energy into the relationship to get
past the bottom third now you're making
sense the next third is called
competition competition is all about the
exchange of information the exchange of
ideas the exchange of energy because in
an exchange you're building a
relationship even if you're arguing even
even if you disagree even if you hate
the other person and you're yelling in
their face you're still investing energy
into that person whereas if you really
didn't care about them you would just
avoid them all
together the last third is called
compliance the whole reason that you
compete is to have someone come out with
compliance and compliance is the part
where the power Dynamic is is identified
right so we've invested so much time in
competition
that now we're not arguing and fighting
anymore now we're starting to make sense
of our relationship you've heard the
phrase we'll just agree to disagree M
essentially that is the top of the sense
making cylinder you've filled the cup
and where you land at the end is we'll
just agree to disagree which is kind of
a mutual understanding of each other's
position on whatever it was that you
were competing over but you're still a
unit you've still invested into a
relationship so sense making is filling
that first cup because now what we know
at the conclusion of this phase is that
we're in this together I've poured water
in you've poured water in and if there's
anything that human beings hate to do
it's waste their energy so I've put all
this energy into you you put all this
energy into me and now we have a dynamic
between
us from once there's sense once we
understand and remember this is if we
agree to disagree then that's we've made
sense of our relationship is mutual
peers on this particular topic
politics that doesn't mean that we're
Mutual peers in terms of conversations
about family or conversations about
business or conversations about you name
it exercise right but we have a
relationship enough that now we can talk
about those other things so if I want to
build influence or if you want to build
influence the first thing we have to do
is not let people avoid us we have to
get past the
avoidance and then we have to compete
with them to get them to invest their
time and energy into our relationship
and then we have to get to a place where
there's some sort of compliance even if
it's only the compliance to sit and
listen to me when I share my opinion
that you already know you're going to
disagree with that's still compliance
that's the foundational framework that
feeds up into a secondary framework that
we call no like
trust no like trust is something that
actually exists in the social media
World which was a really awesome
surprise to me to find it there
um klt no like trust starts with
Discovery if you don't know something
exists you can never like it because you
don't even know it exists once you know
something exists you have to decide
whether or not you like it well how do
you decide whether or not you like it
through this this avoidance competition
compliance sense making process because
as soon as you discover something new
it's new so guess what you try to do
avoid it you see what I'm saying so
after you get through the end of the
compliance phase of of sense making
you're basically you like whatever it is
or whoever it is that you're dealing
with maybe you don't like them like
they're your best friend but you've
invested all this time and energy into
them so you do like them the secret
sauce at CIA that we know that most
people don't understand is that you
don't have to like something a lot
before you start to trust it you've
heard the term falling in love there's
also a very real term called falling
into trust you just spend enough time
long enough and what happens is without
even realizing it you start to trust the
person that you're with that is the
beginning of
influence even if I'm wrong even if you
disagree with me every step of the way
even if the only thing you like about me
is going out and having a pint on Friday
night where we debate and argue and
[ __ ] at each other about politics you
still like Friday night going to the bar
sharing a pint with me you still like
hanging out with me when we watch our
two different soccer teams play or
football teams play so because you like
me enough to be with me there will come
a time where I win your trust in some in
some area maybe it's trust because I'm
the only person who drinks with you so
in a moment you decide to tell me about
how much you hate your boss and now I'm
the only one that knows you actually
hate your boss whatever it might be you
will fall into trust we all fall into
trust it's one of the things that that's
natural to human beings that we hate
about ourselves is we trust the wrong
people it happens to all of us so
someone can trust you in terms of
influence even if they don't like you
correct because they will be invested
enough into you that they believe
something is predictable think about
somebody that you don't like think about
somebody you really really don't like
yeah are there still things about them
that you would trust them to
do maybe not things they would do for
you but there are certain things that
you would trust that they would do
I already know that person's going to
you know say something stupid to my kid
I already trust that that person is
going to put their garbage can at the
end of my driveway so it's it's
fascinating because we usually think of
trust as only being a positive term
trust is an ambiguous it's it's a it's a
uh it is an agnostic term it doesn't
mean good things or bad things it just
means a predictable outcome do you know
the lens I was thinking about as you
were speaking I was thinking about
randomly I was thinking about like
personal branding and LinkedIn because I
was thinking about like personal
branding strategies people go on
LinkedIn and they have all these hot
takes and I was wondering through the
context of what you were saying does it
matter if people like what I'm saying
you know if I'm going on LinkedIn every
day and I'm doing another hot take or
sharing my opinion can I build trust
with my audience even if they don't even
if there's loads of people disagreeing
with me or is there a certain type of
content or you know personal brand
strategy that's going to ultimately
build more influence
Ence I love the question because what
you're getting at is a framework that we
have called The Power of
polarity if you want to create power if
you want to create draw or appeal which
is power you have to polarize you have
to stand for something because if you
don't stand for something nobody really
knows what you believe in so you have to
polarize so to your point there's lots
of people on LinkedIn there's lots of
people on on Facebook on Twitter or
whatever who are out there screaming
something they're they're making a point
and they're being drowned out by all the
other people who are out there making a
point Pi Morgan Elon Musk you know those
are those are people who already have
influence okay part of part of how well
like in the case of P Morgan part of how
he he's got his influence is by being
polarity by being y standing for
something very and not being scared of
the fact that people going to tell him
that they don't like him even better I
want people to tell me that they don't
like me
that's even better because what happens
is when you have when you drive polarity
when you drive polar
response you create enemies but you also
create
friends and what do friends do when
enemies
attack they
defend right so when you stand for
something even if only a small group of
people agree with you they still defend
you they still support you they still
invest in you that means they're moving
from that avoidance competition
compliance phase into no like trust and
then when they defend you they can't
help but fall into trust because what
are they defending they're putting
energy in defending you so they're going
to trust you even more and when that
group of people trusts you and other
non-competitive people other observers
watch that some people are attacking you
and other people are defending you it
makes them feel like they have to choose
between attacking you or defending you
is there a way to stand for something
correctly and is there a way to badly
stand for something and I say this
because as you were speaking I was
thinking about my friend my friend is
really really bad at um LinkedIn and he
comes to LinkedIn with like very
inconsistent takes on the world I'm
going to give you an example for for
many years for many years he's um had a
narrative about alcohol being bad and
he's been sober but then the World Cup
came around and he was he posted on
LinkedIn the World Cup was in the Middle
East that the Middle East should allow
people to binge drink and posting
against the sort of religious um
perspective that says alcohol is bad so
he was like people should be allowed to
to binge drink if they want in the
Middle East but then his other
perspective has always been that alcohol
is bad and like why do people binge
drink and so the
inconsistency has really [ __ ] him up I
think well that's showing why he
probably also doesn't have much
influence because people don't know
where he stands so there's nothing to St
like somebody who who rallies behind him
like it sounds like when you were
telling the story to to a certain extent
you were like proud of him when he was
like originally yeah when when he was
clear what he stood for but it's it's
every day is a different take I'm like
and that's what cost that's what costs
you your your influence so he diminished
his own power by not demonstrating
polarity he should have just stood a
ground even if the ground isn't popular
even if it's not popular or positive if
you stay in one place and you drive a
clear polar message or polarizing
message some people will rally behind
you some people will attack you either
way you benefit from it this is one of
the things I love about YouTube I'm sure
you've discovered this too for anybody
out there who's trying to make money on
YouTube or grow an audience on YouTube
or do anything with YouTube needs to
understand the best comments are
oftentimes the worst
comments because somebody chimes in and
talks [ __ ] about something it only
instigates more people to come in and
leave a comment and guess what YouTube
wants comments they just want engagement
because engagement means people are on
the platform when there's a split
between thumbs up and thumbs down it
means there's polarizing content which
means even more people are going to stay
on the platform so they spread it even
further and wider right so you can't be
afraid of being polarizing and you have
to lean into being polarizing the way we
use it at CIA is when you're talking to
a spy when you're talking to somebody
and you want them to commit treason
against their country you have to be
able to ask a polarizing question to
find out whether or not they're going to
hint that they would be Traders or
whether they are staunch supporters and
nationalists but you have to test that
barrier if you're ever going to actually
develop the kind of relationship the
kind of power to convince them to commit
treason it made me think about Brands as
well because you know there's a lot of
Brands out there that have done really
really well for by standing for
something by being polarizing okay and
it was it was um Jane waren on my
podcast that talked about her brand
dermal and she said to me she said you
have to be willing to piss off the 80%
to get your 20% she goes you don't need
people um to like you she goes that's
not a brand you need them to love you or
hate you she goes that's a brand it's
genius it's absolutely correct she is
talking about polarizing she's talking
about that no like trust process and
getting people to go beyond like into
love you or hate you if they love you or
hate you then they are in the trust side
of the no like trust process they either
trust what you say or they trust that
they're going to hate what you say mhm
but either way they're in the trust part
of no like
trust I was a kid in my bedroom that was
building my business all on my own one
of the websites I used religiously was a
website called Fiverr Fiverr spell f v r
r and FIV have just released a Tor that
I think is a game changer for anybody
that's looking for Quality freelance
support when you're building a product
when you're building a company when
you're building a project and it's
called Neo you can have a conversation
with the AI agent called Neo tell it
about the problem you have and it will
help you find the solution I.E it will
help you find the perfect freelancer to
write a brief for that perfect
freelancer and all you have to do is
communicate exactly what your needs are
it will select them it'll bring you
together it will update the search
results based on your conversation as it
evolves and a couple of days ago when I
needed a graphic designer for a project
I used Neo and it got me the perfect
freelancer in a fraction of the time go
and check it out right now go to
fiver.com
diary and you can check near out for
yourself so what else do I need to know
about influence and influencing other
people um you know you said persuasion
is not the same uh as what was the other
one influence influence yeah persuasion
and influence are two different things
so what about persuasion then how do I
persuade somebody persuasion is a
process that's much easier because it's
really just a matter of triggering an
emotional response and then guiding
rational thought around that emotional
response honestly persuasion is what
exists far more in the world than
influence persuasion is what happens in
advertising persuasion is what happens
when you watch a commercial persuasion
is what happens when you try to convince
your kids to brush their teeth at night
or one day you will convince your
children to brush their teeth T night
that's all
persuasion because you're you are
creating an emotional message it's a
it's a question of messaging and
narrative you're creating an emotional
message that emotional message is
designed to trigger certain emotion
emotional responses in the Target that
you're talking to and then you change
the message itself but you hit on the
same
emotion and the reason that you do that
is because after they've been hit with
enough of the same emotional messages
they start to develop a cognitive
rational
narrative that they adopt personally so
The Narrative of the deep State came
from lots of emotional messages about
why you can't trust the government and
then all those emotional messages turn
into somebody or a group of people
thinking well if I can't trust the
government what I can do is trust that
the government can't be trusted because
there's a shadow government right so
that's how you essentially that's how
you persuade somebody so if you want to
persuade someone to buy from your coffee
shop and not somebody else's coffee shop
you want to persuade someone to buy a
Subaru and not a Nissan you want to
persuade somebody to uh to buy from your
sales funnel immediately instead of wait
until your third email in your welcome
series it's all a matter of being able
to set up a series of emotional messages
that drive a rational narrative that
they decide for themselves that brings
them to a place where they take an
action that you want them to take give
me an example okay so let's say that uh
you and I are trying to
sell um what about this whoop on my
wrist hasht add hash investor hash
sponsor what about this from Mar all
right you understand how woot Works what
is it tell me what it is um it is a it's
a fitness tracker but it's a sleep
tracker it's a stress tracker tracks my
heart rate variability um so it's
biodata yeah it it syncs your biod dat
in one convenient place yeah and I can
see my friends biod dat as well if they
if they accept so we can kind of compete
a little bit Ah so it gives
accountability and and a sort of shared
Mission yeah Community Etc yeah right so
if you want to persuade people to buy
your hashtag spons # product # investor
what's it called whoop whoop yeah we
want people to buy a whoop whoop.com
yeah so so SL
do perfect so if we want people to buy a
whoop we don't tell them bi a whoop
because it's an awesome biot tracker
that tracks your heart rate and tracks
your sleep and tracks your body
temperature we don't tell them that
because that's what there's other tools
that do that what we have to do is give
them some kind of emotional message
right so first we're going to choose an
audience that we want to create an
emotional message for we're both we both
love the women that we're with so let's
talk about people who are in a serious
relationship or a committed
relationship I very much care whether my
wife is healthy whether she's sleeping
well whether she's got high stress so
now I want to craft an emotional message
about how whoop will help me make my
marriage better because I'll be able to
see what my wife is feeling without
having to ask her oh God what every man
wants to be able to read her
mind
now people are feeling something right
says that's amazing say that again down
the
camera so why let's come up with another
message another emotional message for
the same reason right I really don't
like bedtime because at bedtime my wife
always melts down and yells at the kids
and she melts down because she's had a
rough day and I'm coming home from a
rough day and I have no idea how rough
her day is and it doesn't matter because
now it's bedtime so if I had a whoop
what I'd be able to do is call my wife
on the way home and say hey babe it
looks like you've had a rough day thanks
to your whoop why don't you take 30
minutes go take a bath do your whole
self-care routine first and I'll deal
with the kids and I'll make dinner so
that you can calm down and then you can
swap out and help me and we can be a
team right whoop makes married couples a
team again I love that so you can now
what we're doing is we're we're
messaging to make husbands and
boyfriends feel a certain way about I
love her already I want her to succeed
and I also secretly know that if she
succeeds I succeed because guess who
goes to bed with her at night right
that's what we're making them feel so if
we did four three four five messages
like that even if they were bullets on a
sales page instead of a phone Telecom
team right if we were to do that what's
the logical rational outcome that
any male in a serious heterosexual
relationship is going to land on they
take the 30-day free trial
that that's exactly what they're going
to do that's exactly what they do with
high probability that is empirically
sound that you can measure through
clicks open rates and view
time because you've crafted a persuasive
message and what do people typically do
they typically Brands will typically
come out and say something like oh it's
a they'll sell it on its features
successful successful Brands which is
the only kind of brand that really
exists because you're not a brand until
you've had success successful Brands
will do what we what you and I are
talking about but they won't systematize
it they'll let it be
accidental You' you've heard of like I'm
I'm shocked how often advertising
agencies create failed ads like bad ads
because they're just they're just
throwing spaghetti at the wall they're
not following a system they're not
following a process like what we just
talked about create a series of messages
and then create a rational response
that's high probability and then find a
way to measure it all and then
systematize it and then scale your ad
spend to match the thing that you just
built right they're not that's not what
they're thinking they're thinking what
if we just talk about this what if we
just talk about this this just happened
in the news let's talk about that so
they're not using a system the place
where most people go wrong isn't with
Brands it's with young entrepreneurs
it's with young entrepreneurs who become
so myopically focused on their product
that they forget that there's four Ps
for marketing product is just one of the
four right right there's also price
there's also place there's also
promotion promotion is the one that I
would say should be swapped with
persuasion because if you can promote
something in a persuasive way doesn't
really matter what you price it at
doesn't really matter where you put it
and it also doesn't matter what the
product is people will buy it because
there's a market for everything so the
place where people go
wrong isn't that they're that they're
not trying the place where people go
wrong is that they don't realize that
talking about the benefits talking about
the rational benefits of the product is
not persuasive persuasion starts with an
emotional message how do you translate
that then to a interpersonal
relationship context where I'm trying to
you know convince a you talked about
interviewing earlier you said that one
of your case studies is a guy that kind
of learned how to interview how do I
translate that so that if I walk into
any interview ever I'm going to walk out
with the
job what do you think every interviewer
is looking for some someone well okay so
I've got two answers to this a someone
to do the job uh and then B someone they
like that's really what they're looking
for it's someone they like I do a lot of
interviewing I spend a lot of my time
interviewing when I'm not doing this I'm
basically interviewing people so I've
come to learn my own biases in that
regard a little bit but you're so right
it's heavily about if you like the
person well guess what I just taught you
a framework for how to get through
getting someone to like you m right so
without a doubt we agree well that was
to get them me influenc the framework
wasn't it no like trust we went through
we went through the sense making
framework yeah so that you could go from
no to like to trust so at the top of
sense making that's when you're in the
phase where people like or invested in
you what interviewers really like isn't
people that they like it's people who
are alike the interviewer really so I
guarantee you that the people that you
have liked interviewing the most I'm
even willing to bet that you will admit
in this conversation at some point we'll
put that on the line that a big portion
of your hiring is because you see
elements of yourself in the people that
you hire I mean like I don't consciously
know that but I totally believe it
because when you see someone who has who
reflects elements of you yeah you
immediately go through the sense making
process and you flip to like and Trust
interesting so we need to clarify this
because when you say elements of myself
there's parts of myself that I'm like I
would never hire correct but that's not
the part of you that you like yeah it's
the part of you that you don't like you
trust that part of you to not be good at
the job yeah but there's other parts of
you that you trust to be good at the job
and that's what you shoot for yeah right
I'm also willing to bet that there's
people that you hire because you know
that they're good at areas that you know
you're bad at yes so that's all
interviewers all interviewers everywhere
what they dream of is that they walk
into an interview and across the table
is some someone almost exactly like them
who they enjoy talking to who they can
relate to who they feel instant
connection and chemistry with because
then it becomes an enjoyable interview
because what every interviewer hates is
walking into an interview that is
draining and and terrible and and hard
and painful that's what they don't like
and most of the time the people
interviewing are not actually the people
who will be the supervisor for the
person that gets hired often times
they're just an intered medary
interviewer so all they really want is
to just get find somebody who meets the
qualifications technically but has some
sort of common ground with the
interviewer themselves so how do I make
sure I'm that
person you know how do I what what can I
do to make sure that say that you were
interviewing me or say that let's do the
other way around I've got the job um
that I'm looking for looking to fill and
you've come for an interview today so
I'm going to do I'm going to go through
the sensemaking process okay right as
soon as I get on this call with you I'm
new to you so what does that mean I know
I know that you don't want to be on this
call With Me true avoidance I can assume
coming in so what I have to do is I have
to keep investing enough to get through
the avoidance phase well what am I going
to talk about how am I going to invest
in this conversation I'm going to pull
as much as I can from verbal and
non-verbal cues that you give me I'm
going to look at the decorations on the
wall behind you whether it's in person
or whether it's virtual I'm going to try
to pull from my environment I see that
you're using an iPad I I see that you
actually like to write on your iPad I
see that you use different colors when
you write on your iPad I also see
there's a journal under your iPad I can
assume that inside that journal are
handwritten notes that are actually done
in pen and ink right there's certain
things that I can start to observe you
have a very clear you put clear effort
into the way that you shave your face
you have a very handsome look to your
hair short much you've got the
job youve got the job no I don't need to
himar it's
yours but I'm going to pull from all of
this for the competition phase of the
sense making process because all I need
to do to get you to comply with my
wishes my wishes are to get the job what
I need to get you to comply with the
wishes I need you to engage in a
conversation with me that is competitive
meaning you will invest in me and I will
invest in you think about how don't
think of competition like a zero sum
game with a winner and a loser I hear
competition I hear arguing that's what
most people hear most people think of
competition as Zero Sum game somebody
wins somebody loses the competition
think of it more like a scrimmage in
your in your uh favorite soccer team
where like the the red shirts play the
green shirts but it's still the same
football club right they and they have
spring training for for baseball in the
United States it's all the Yankees but
they're just playing the Yankees to
practice with each other what are they
doing they're competing they're honing
their craft through competition they're
investing in each other right they're
pitching and batting and trying to
strike each other out and trying to
catch each other at the bases but it's
all for themselves it's all to improve
the whole of the team that's the
competition that exists in the
sensemaking process I want to invest in
you with my thoughts and my ideas and my
questions and I want you to invest in me
with your thoughts and your ideas and
your questions and yes sometimes they
will be different but in the difference
we will find the
similarity and regardless of whether we
find differences or similarities we are
filling the cup of investment to get
towards compliance okay so give me a
specific example of how you might get me
to go into that competition with you
okay so I'm going to start in an
interview most interviewees expect that
the interviewer will ask most of the
questions yeah my I would challenge
anybody going into a job interview ask
more questions than the interviewer
really ask more questions than the
interviewer because when you ask
questions especially open-ended
questions it makes the person you're
talking to feel like they're interesting
feel like they're important feel like
they're special and guess what's not
going to happen with any other interview
that day nobody is going to ask them
questions so if you were interviewing me
for a job and we met on the phone I
would
say Stephen thank you very much for
making time to talk to me how's your day
today it's been great thank you I'm
really excited for the job but one of
the things I have a question about right
away is when I look you up online it
looks like a lot of what you do is
marketing but I don't know if it's like
social media marketing or if it's more
like an internet marketing like
advertising how would you characterize
the core function of the business it's
kind of both we do we all of the above
paid marketing all kinds of marketing
which one is your favorite my favorite's
uh probably social media marketing I
think is it because social media is like
so Dynamic and always changing or do you
like social media marketing for some
other reason uh yeah and also I just
think I think it's very much the future
in many respects so I think it's the
fastest growing medium so that's kind of
where we we focus I also think it's the
future and I spend so much time on
social media and I my family spend so
much time on social media that I really
feel like if you want to connect with
somebody you have to be in the social
media world because it feels like a
simulated relationship I completely
agree so um and then so then I'd start
asking the questions and would you you
would ask a question and then I would
answer your question but I would still
continue to show investment into you by
asking questions and what does that do
so I come away from that interaction and
you've asked me a lot of questions what
what do I come away feeling you tell me
what does it feel like when people ask
you
questions feels like you're building a
relationship feels like you care feels
like you've thought critically before
you came here yeah feels like you
prepared feels like you're curious and
the oppos well there's two opposites one
opposite is I just pepper you with
questions and then you leave um and the
other opposite is that someone that just
talks the whole like you pepper me with
questions I was in I've had a couple of
interviews and two I remember two last
week I part of my feedback was I
basically didn't say
anything and I it's funny I actually
said to my chief of staff I said oh God
interview was an hour long and I go gosh
I um I didn't say anything in the whole
in the whole hour and do you know what I
came away feeling I came away feeling
that if that's what the job working with
them is going to be like I don't want to
work with them because for one hour I
sat there and this this person just
like at me and now you say it now I kind
of understand why I felt that way
because you you do want people to ask
you questions and you it's it's I think
it's that but also part of me was
worried that every day this person is
going to just like kill my ear
or is it just the ego part where I'm
just like be interested in me I don't
know or is it both well first of all I
am not advocating peppering with
questions yeah so I want to make sure
that we don't give anybody the mistaken
idea that that rapid fire questions are
the way to go yeah I I was giving short
answers this is the problem it's all
good because what what the core thing to
understand here is you didn't like being
spoken
at they were talking all the time which
means they weren't asking you questions
they asked me were our our inter they
asked me zero questions and when I said
to them if you got any questions You'
like to ask me they asked me one but
that was actually just tearing them up
for another 20 another 20 minutes and I
I walked away and logically I
rationalized it to my team I was like I
think that person would be quite
difficult to deal with because I think
they'd be quite distracting and this
particular role is working with
alongside me personally every single day
and I just thought gosh I'm not going to
get anything done but maybe that was a
prefrontal cortex I think that your
decision was 100% % correct but what I
want to do is I want to juxtapose that
process against the person who would
have asked you questions which I
experience a lot so if people ask you
questions how do you feel at the end of
those calls I feel like the
person I I feel like they're more
thoughtful and I feel like they're
smarter because why the hell would you
come into an interview and not ask the
person questions you're also making a
commitment for your entire life to this
company this job to this person you want
you want to make sure it's correct so a
smart person would be interviewing me as
well because they value themselves so if
I wanted to win you as the interviewer
yeah and I wanted to win that by making
you feel like you and I were similar
people yeah yeah exactly what you just
said is why the hell wouldn't you ask a
bunch of questions which makes me think
that what you believe is if you want to
work for a company for the rest of your
life you want to go in there asking a
bunch of questions yeah so when somebody
comes in asking questions to you that
checks the box of this person is
thoughtful this person is committed this
person is responsible this person is
doing what I would do yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah and that means on the sense
making no like trust framework you're
going to fall into trust for that person
much faster than you're going to fall
into trust for the person who comes and
word vomits on you and that's all we're
doing we're not saying that every
employer is going to be the right
employer for you but what we're saying
is if you want to take your probability
of winning an interview from I I don't
know what my probability is to you have
a solid predictable 30% chance of
winning this interview it really is as
simple as going in there with the idea
to win the interviewer read their body
language listen to their verbal cues
hear the things they talk about reflect
and mirror their behavior and their
terminology their tone of voice how fast
the Cadence of their of their speech
reflect that back to them and then use
this this process of asking questions
open-ended questions that give you more
information that you can turn into
knowledge that you can ask questions
about to create that flywheel of
information knowledge and experience
that we talked about this framework that
you call Rice reward ideology coercion
ego after you said that I started to
kind of see it everywhere in my life and
even in the context of an interview I
notice it sometimes now um can you
explain what the framework is before we
start talking about it CU you're better
explaining it than I will be so rice is
a framework that we use to understand
the core motivations that exist inside
of all people and it's an acronym R
stands for reward I stands for ideology
C stands for coercion e stands for ego
and the idea is that the core motivation
of all people to do anything that they
would ever do the motivation not the
manipulation but the core motivation is
tied to one predominant of those four
core motivators and the other three are
always still present but at a lower
level so just like you said once you
recognize that all people are motivated
by these same four core motivations you
do see it everywhere so in terms of
strength you said to me last time that
ideology was the strongest correct I
think you then said that ego was the
second strongest you said reward was the
third strongest and and coercion was the
weakest yes sir I know this because I
did a a tour and I played your you
saying that in every country that I went
to on stage for about 2 minutes so I
know this really this [ __ ] really well
my memory is not that good I've been
I've been talking about this about
35,000 people in Australia and
everywhere I am flattered to have
traveled with you all over the world
well yeah I've got some photos I'll show
you later but um as part of that I
really started to see it everywhere else
in my life so I'd come to an interview
with a candidate and the candidate would
turn to me and I would hear them
repeating back to me things that I've
said in my book or things that I've said
in an interview so people know that I'm
very Pro like experimentation for
example and I use like increasing my
rate of experimentation increasing my
rate of failure terms that I use 1% I
use this term all the time to describe
marginal gains and this sort of marginal
process of improvement and so I would
come to interviews and I I started to
notice that people were like repeating
my ideology in business back to me in
those interviews and it [ __ ]
worked even though I knew even though I
knew it um and one of the things I did
actually is I um I went back through my
own personal history and I looked at Key
moments where my life had changed so in
in the first email this is the email
that got me my first investor which took
me from being this broke shoplifting
student to being a business person and
then sent me all my mission and then
this is the email that got me the camera
equipment which helped me launch the
marketing of my business it got me
10,000s of pounds about about £10,000
worth of free camera equipment and these
were both C emails that I sent and with
your framework in mind I went back to
kind of try and understand where I
deployed these elements of reward
ideology coercion ego and I think
they're quite present in my emails so
here's what I'm going to do I've got the
email in front of me so anyone that's
watching this on video can um can take a
look at this email if you want to see
what I was like when I was that age I
want you to tell me how good I did in
terms of reward ideology coercion and
ego and I'll put this on the screen if
you want to because it is screen
recording you can Circle okay the parts
you're referring to so everyone else can
see hello sir my name's so my names did
I spell it
wrong that is awesome so my name's
Steven Bart
and I'm you
definitely I can see your I can see why
you are struggling academically yes I an
18-year-old guy from the UK with an
entrepreneurial head on my shoulders I
have ran several small businesses since
I was 12 and made relatively decent
amounts of money doing so last year I
was featured on a BBC program here in
the UK for being a young entrepreneur
and I was given a few nice things along
with that but that doesn't really mean
much to me this is embarrassing for the
last four months me and a friend friend
have been working tirelessly on an
exciting new project that I want to
share with you I've this this is really
sweet to see the 18-year-old you here
man I've been tuned into your blog for a
long time now and I'm familiar with your
story so I would love your opinion of
what I'm doing so this is really good
stuff your blog your story your
opinion it also shows that you were
researching Him in Advance which makes
me feel like the only reason you're
reaching this person reaching after this
person at all is because you already
know that your story mimics his
story correct he he um he actually had
started a pretty similar student website
in the same city it had gone so well it
had been sold and he now lived in Monaco
and was like a super rich millionaire
was this person also did they also
struggle in school I actually don't know
I don't know that much so that's super
interesting to me okay I'm going to keep
going all the designs attached in the
document are my
own that's interesting too you're
basically giving away IP up front and
showing that you prepared more than just
writing an email which is again feeding
into some of the ego and the reward
because this person is whatever they see
in that document they they're going to
benefit from
it I made I made on publisher and at the
moment I have no expertise in web design
whatsoever I'm at the stage now where
I'm looking for a mentor investor to
guide me in getting the website live so
please let me know what you think this
was super smart not asking for an
investor but asking for a
mentor because what that did is it
deloaded the pressure so if they had
read this far if they got to this place
you weren't asking for money you were
potentially just asking for some
attention and some guidance M let me
know what you think although we have had
a few cheeky offers from local Venture
capitalists we are still looking for the
right person and after reading through
your website I believe you are that
person kind regards and thanks for your
time Steven Steve Bartlett
so it's interesting to me because you
made a very strong ego
play with referencing all of his success
yeah the ego was the strongest thing
that you leaned on showing that you were
aware showing that you knew the person
knowing that the story was going to Res
resonate with him you may have
accidentally also honestly man seeing
the typos that are in here you may have
accidentally triggered a response inside
him that was
reciprocity either somebody gave him a
chance when he didn't know if somebody
would give him a chance or maybe he
struggled in school or maybe he has a a
son or a sister or a brother who
struggled in school because your typos
are really quite significant there's no
way somebody would read this and think
that you were a well-educated
18-year-old do you know what I'm saying
so you may have really struggled you may
have accidentally some into something
awesome I would I don't know if you're
still in contact with this person but I
would ask that question we've got four
core motivators ego is very clear every
time you talk to them or this person
about them you're stroking their ego and
you're not doing it in a glaring way
however ideology is the strongest of the
motivators when I see you say that you
are an 18-year-old guy from the
UK what I what goes through my head is
the ideology of who doesn't want to give
a brave kid writing them an opportunity
what what millionaire out there what
decillionaire or centimillionaire or
ultra high net worth if they get the
email at all who doesn't want to at
least give this 18-year-old Brave Brazen
kid a chance because you know what I
would have done something like this when
I was
18 right and now you could be tapping on
ideology without even knowing it well he
did he did he started a student website
website in the same city at roughly the
same age so there you go you you already
knew that there were going to be
commonalities between the two of you you
were winning the interviewer just as
much as you were
leveraging the the rice framework what
about the other email so there's another
one on there which is here just take a
look at it if you could this one yeah so
this was the email that I sent I sent 10
of these emails out to every C camera
company I could Samsung Panasonic um ET
Etc and within 48 Hours of Panasonic
receiving that email a guy called leot
Panasonic I literally just because you
were coming I went on his LinkedIn to
see where he now works so thank you by
the way Lee that used to work at
Panasonic um for giving me a shot Lee
from Panasonic responded to that email
that you have in front of you and said
what kind of cameras do you want we've
got some returns I'll send them to your
doorstep within 40 hours of that email a
big box of cameras brand like they were
brand new to me brand new spanking
cameras came to my doorstep multiple of
them and that allowed me to do the
marketing for my business at the very
early stage again it was just a called
email that's amazing man all right hello
there my name is Steven
Bartlett I'm a 19-year-old student and
I'm part of an upcoming exciting student
website so in March last year I began
developing an idea I had that focused on
bringing together the student Community
several months later I have the backing
and support of all the universities in
the Northwest who are working with us
every step of the way we are now a few
months from launching the website we
have received so much support from
company such as dominoes and Subway that
we are now hoping you guys at vho will
be kind enough to help us out I'm going
to circle that for sure because you're
triggering a little bit of
competition you wait till the end which
is really
[Laughter]
smart and you're showing credibility
with the backing of multiple
universities all right our team includes
media journalism students who have media
and journalism students who have a
passion for producing media content it
also includes our web developer who
loves building cool websites it includes
the univers I ities and the University
Unions who are supporting us constantly
and it includes our mentors who are
social media and web experts you are
really hitting reward High here because
you're basically
saying you all of these people are going
to know that you're helping like all
these universities all these students
media and journalism guess what they
both need cameras so you're really
leaning hard into the reward here and
it's pretty awesome you are also hitting
on ideology because if it is a
competitive business it wants to compete
it doesn't want to be second to Subway
or dominoes it wants to be side by side
with Subway and dominoes especially in
2012 when both of those companies were
pretty strong leaders in their
industry this is going to be a national
student website and one feature of our
website involves us producing our own
video content from the student Community
this can range from students
interviewing famous people students
reviewing student events to student
reporters covering news events in order
for this to be the case we are in need
of an HD video camera and wanted to know
if V would be kind enough to donate one
in return we would feature V on our
website as a sponsor we would also
promote the camera and vho at the end of
all videos that we make as a young group
of students this would really mean a lot
to us and we would be sure to show our
appreciation in every opportunity
ideology again talking about students
and talking about the youth there's no
real coercion in this for sure and I
would also say that ego was was was not
really you focused on reward rather than
ego because you didn't know who Lee was
so it was a bit of coer in the one that
I sent to the investor wasn't there
because I said um we've had some offers
from Venture cap capitalists which is
kind of saying that I have other offers
kind of but I'm that's not coercive
coercion coercion means that you are
leaning into the shame the guilt some
sort of negative feeling competition is
not a negative feel really competition
is how we build trust okay so me
mentioning that I have other opport
unities isn't Co you should always
mention that you have other
opportunities even if you don't okay
always it's one of those areas where you
you always have other opportunities you
could always take the opportunity of
stop trying so there's other
opportunities always is there ever a
place for coercion which is the C and
the rice frame framework in emails like
this yes there's a place for it but you
have to use it gingerly because the
problem with coercion is once you use it
you violate the trust that you've built
okay so you can basically use it once or
if you you once you employ it you
essentially have to continually use it
because once it's no longer useful to
you then the person that you're coercive
the person that you're coercing is free
again coercion if you think of coercion
it's like a cage so you get somebody
into the cage and then you have control
over them in the cage but once you open
them open the door to the cage they're
going to run out and never get back in
the cage you talked about these four C's
of influence have we covered that four
C's that we're talking about are the
four seas of building influence rapidly
specifically building uh building
influence in a workplace environment
right it's consideration is the first C
consistency uh collaboration and control
those are your four
C's uh when you consider consideration
consideration means I put myself in your
shoes I consider what life is like for
you you're my boss you're my cooworker
you have a family you go home you have
you're trying to exercise you're trying
to make a living you're trying to do all
the same things I am so if I if I
consider your point of view faster than
you consider my point of view I have the
advantage that's what the first see is
consideration that's really perspective
again right it's perspective again
exactly it's consideration is
technically a legal term so attorneys
and lawyers all know what consideration
is but it's the rest of us who have not
gone to law school that don't recognize
that consideration is another word for
perspective but it's also a legal term
that stands for the same thing uh
consistency is the act of being
consistent what's powerful is that very
few people are actually
consistent most people are inconsistent
think about the friend that you were
talking about on LinkedIn who can't even
have a consistent message can't even
have a consistent opinion about alcohol
right the fastest way to burn influence
the fastest way to to to burn your
persuasive ability and burn your your
sense making relationship with people is
to be inconsistent because nobody wants
to invest relationship into an
inconsistent person inconsistent in your
perspectives your values your beliefs
your actions what you say what you do
what you spend your money on like
consistency is what breeds comfort and
confidence in people it's what builds
influence because when the when the
rubber hits the road when when bullets
start flying when all hell breaks loose
you want to know that the person that
you believe will be there will be there
and a consistent person is somebody that
you believe will be consistent even if
you don't like them even if you don't
like them right like third C is
collaboration collaboration becomes
really powerful because what most people
are doing is they're trying to find some
sort of compromise and a compromise
really just means you don't get what you
want and I don't get what I want and we
find something in the middle that
neither of us wants but we'll both
accept that's a [ __ ] deal what we really
actually want is not compromise what we
want is collaboration collaboration
means you bring your idea I bring my
idea and together we create a third
better outcome for both of us that's
what collaboration is that's what makes
collaboration different than compromise
what we want from our government is a
collaborative government not a
government that compromises with each
other and yet what with the what the
popular public narrative is is that we
need a government that compromises well
[ __ ] a government that compromises is
always losing a government that
collaborates rates is always gaining so
the third C is collaboration if you find
somebody who is considerate who is also
consistent and also collaborative do you
see what we're building here we're
building influence and then the fourth C
is control and control is the one that
is super important and control is the
thing that people drop all the time when
they're trying to build influence
control means that you capitalize you
execute on all the social benefit that
you've built with these first three sees
and now you actually take the action to
get what you want you ask for the for
the cameras you ask for the opportunity
you ask for the interview you ask for
the favor right or you go out and you
tell the boss I'm ready to be the one
that gets promoted to the manager job
I'm the one that gets to go on vacation
for Christmas I'm the one that gets to
do this and then you and you cycle back
to the fact that you've done the other
three C's right and you're doing it in a
way that exercises your control over the
situation
the four C's are the tool to build
influence in a professional environment
Because the actual thing that you're
building the term that we use we don't
we don't call it
influence inside the walls at Langley we
call it Social Capital where's Langley
Langley Virginia is the headquarters for
CIA okay so we call it Social Capital
because just like real currency is
capital when you engage in the process
of building influence using the four C's
what you're actually building is a is a
savings account of Social Capital You're
Building reciprocity You're Building
leverage You're Building favors You're
Building IUS so when you have this pile
of money the only thing that you can do
with a pile of money is spend it so you
have to spend it to get what you want
and that's what the control is that's
what the C is in the four C's of
building influence through social
capital is that what great leaders do
what great leaders do is they find
either they're taught a process similar
to this or they learn the process over
time but essentially what the the dark
side to leadership that people don't
like to admit to is that very rarely are
leaders
well-liked leaders are respected leaders
are trusted but leaders are very rarely
liked they might be liked a 100 years
later like artists but usually in the
moment they are not well-liked and it's
because they know how to exercise
control nobody likes to be controlled
nobody likes to feel like they are under
control nobody likes to feel leveraged
nobody likes to feel sold nobody likes
to feel
pressure but when you have that pot of
Social Capital when you have the
leverage when you have the power you
have to exercise it to prosecute the
vision that you're trying to build so if
you're the type of leader that never
that does all these other things they're
super considerate of other people they
they're collaborative they're consistent
but you never exercise control you're
not a leader what are you you're an
assertive follower you're a reliable
partner you're a peer you're a good
friend are you a coward no I wouldn't
say that you're a coward because
remember cowardice is the opposite of
courage and courage is defined by
showing courage or showing doing the
thing that you're afraid of I mean it
takes a bit of courage to exercise
control absolutely but not everybody
wants control there are lots of people
out there who don't want to be a leader
if you are a leader if you want to be a
leader and don't exercise control over
the leverage and the social capital that
you've built you are not a leader you
are an aspiring leader you are a
developing leader you are a hopeful
leader but you are not a leader because
a leader has to be able to take action
that inspire
others to follow even if they don't like
you even if they don't like you because
here's the reality of it a leader is not
what you claim to be a leader is what
you demonstrate to be because a leader
who leads an army of none is not a
leader and someone who is leading an
army but doesn't call themselves a
leader still a leader what do you think
make are the sort of core components of
a great leader leader you must you go to
a lot of companies you speak to a lot of
Executives leaders what are the ones
that you respect the most whether
they're clients of yours or people
you've seen within history there's an
element of honesty that's critical to a
leader like you have to be honest and
you have to be objective about what you
see what you feel what you
experience because true leadership means
that you have to execute against a
vision and you have to inspire people to
follow you if you're not honest about
why you do what you do if you're not
objective about the current reality then
there's no way that you're going to be
able to create to cast a vision that's
realistic and ignite an audience of
people to follow you towards that Vision
so honesty is critical objectivity is
critical leaders also have to have an
incredible amount of of Courage because
they're always doing something that
they're afraid of they're always taking
the next risk they're always challenging
the the dis the misbelief or the
incorrect information they're
always upsetting their spouse they're
always missing out on time with their
children they're always stepping on the
toes of half of their company they're
always upsetting somebody you can't be a
leader without having the courage to
hurt 80% of the people that you talk to
because if they're not completely in
line with the vision that you're trying
to to lead towards they need to be
brought in line with the vision that
you're leading and that sometimes that
means you're going to tell them bad news
sometimes that means you're going to
slap them over the back of the head
sometimes that means you're going to cut
them off and let them float so you have
to have courage which specifically means
doing the thing that you're afraid of to
be a leader which is why the I mean to
me the most important component of being
a leader is accepting that you will be
lonely for
forever that's the unfortunate fact of
being a leader there it's lonely at the
top and every General has talked about
it every president has felt it there's a
reason presidents go gray Michelle Obama
will look very good when she's
gray but you have to be willing to be
lonely if you're not willing to be
lonely then you're not courageous enough
to be lonely then you're not fit to
lead you walk through life like seeing
people be honest as kind of Puppets not
puppets no not puppets I do I do walk
through life seeing people
as worthy or unworthy Investments
interesting where because especially
like to kind of bring in Full Circle
back to losing my
grandmother we only have a certain
number of minutes seconds breaths
so I feel like I was blessed and
privileged to get the skills to rapidly
identify the people who are worth my
breath the people who I can invest in
with my words and my thoughts and my
actions and my time and those people
will create an Roi that doesn't pay me
back but pays back my children and my
children's children because the people
who learn and who apply and who who
support the work that I'm doing are the
people who will make the future the
world of tomorrow and the World of
Tomorrow is not for me the World of
Tomorrow is for my family so I feel like
unfortunately that is what a lot of my
relationships boil down to and the
people that I
transactional but all relationships are
transactional we just don't like to
admit it for me I feel like because I
already know all relationships are
transactional I now cultivate the
transactions that yield the
most rather than transactions that just
happen where so many so many people are
trapped in relationships where they
don't have any return on investment from
that relationship or even worse they
keep investing in the relationship and
it's a money pit and it just keeps
taking and taking it never gives back
and they don't know how to get out of
that relationship or they feel trapped
or they feel lost or they feel they feel
abandoned if I had to pick between being
somebody who literally looks at
everybody as a win or lose transaction
or being a person who's constantly
investing in the wrong person I'm very
happy to be where I'm at on this fence
does that change your life in some
respects because if I looked at every
real what people will be thinking
they'll be thinking oh God Andrew that's
a sad life that's a sad life just to see
everything as a
transaction it's it's not a sad life
when seeing things as transactions is
not the same thing as accepting that
everything is a transaction I don't see
everything as a transaction I don't see
my children as an OP as some sort of
return on investment I don't see time
with my wife as some sort of return on
invest I don't see it as a transaction
but I accept that what it is is a
transaction they want love they want
attention they want affection in return
for that love time attention and
affection they will give love time
attention and and affection and we will
build positive memories for the future
it's transactional if I want my wife to
be okay with me taking a 12-day work
trip I have to put a little bit of time
and effort into the 12 days before the
12 days that I leave because I have to
build some Goodwill like we understand
that this is how it works intrinsically
we just don't want to accept that what
we're talking about is a transaction
going to the bank and saying I'm going
to take a loan in a little while so I
need to fill out my paperwork and get
pre-approval like it's the same concept
it's the same process it doesn't mean I
see everything through a lens of cold
hard transactional relationships I see a
lot of life that way but I don't see all
of life that way and the parts of life
that I do see as transactional I I
leverage that perspective so that I can
maximize my investment in the
relationships that I do not see as
transactional it's so true I think the
big takeaway for me and all of that as
well as just thinking about the
relationships that are really doing
nothing for you I've got a couple
relationships like that that really
probably aren't doing anything for me
and it sucks even at our level it sucks
because you still see yourself doing it
yeah like like why am I yeah why am I
doing this like shouldn't I know better
by now and inevitably like you come back
it's like getting drunk I guess you
don't know what it's like to do that
most people know what it's like I used
to get drunk you get drunk you get sick
from being drunk and what's the next
thing you tell yourself I'm never
getting drunk
again it happens again and you feel like
an idiot it happens it happens in
business it happens in life it happens
some people do really waste their entire
lives just like entertaining
relationships that are doing zero for
them they like go for lunch and brunch
and like the 2hour phone call and the
small talk on WhatsApp just for
nothingness said pouring all of their
life into these nothing relationships
these sewers these leeches of
relationships if they don't recognize
that it's a transaction and they ask
themselves continually what is this
doing for me correct and then you can't
feel guilty asking yourself what is this
relationship doing for me that is just
you being objective that is just you
being focused on accountability and
honesty like any good leader should be
when's your book coming out um you've
got a book your new book that you told
me last time was on the way but the CIA
weren't approving it correct they have
they have still not approved it we are
actually expecting by end of month this
month to get their formal approval U
once it happens I will let you know for
sure because trust me my publisher is
also very nervous about when CIA
approves the book so the book is called
Red Cell Red Cell probably going to be
released in summer 2025 but pre-order
will be available maybe by the time this
episode comes out if that's the case
we'll link it below oh that would be
exciting the pre-orders absolutely um
very exciting what is the book about the
the book is finally my wife and I get to
releasee the details of our operational
history together and that is what the
red cell is about oh wow it's about what
we did together in the field as a tandem
clandestine couple how we operated how
we worked together how we managed our
marriage and our operations uh and the
team that we built around us it was all
very unique at the time and uh and we're
very proud of it but it's sensitive and
CIA does not like telling sensitive
stories for anybody else that wants to
check out where you can support them in
the meantime everyday spy is the key
place to go to the website everyday
spy.com absolutely everyday spy.com you
can also find us on YouTube on the
everyday spy podcast and of course you
can find us on social media everywhere
at everyday spy you Channel I really
love it I appreciate it um I really love
all the work that you do and I think
it's so
important because you're so honest and
there's very little [ __ ] with you
there's very little um virtue signaling
which means that we can just be growing
ups and talk about the reality of things
we don't have to fluff around things so
it's really really really great to talk
to you all the time and I think that's
also why you're so resonant because
people they trust you and it goes back
to what we were saying even if they
don't like me even if they don't like
you they trust you I think people like
you people love you people in our
comment section obviously you get the
conspiracy the lot I think you're still
like part of the CIA or whatever but
side of that people are so so so um
happy and they do appreciate the work
you're doing because it really it does
help people change their lives because
as you said so many people are trapped
in that shed and as you said they know
that there's something out there better
but and they've tried a bunch of [ __ ]
and they're still in the shed and you
give them a rubric a framework to start
to run tasks in their life to see if um
if there's a a way out the shed and it's
not going to be simple and it's not
going to be easy because if it was it
wouldn't be worth it but there is a way
and that hope alone I think can really
get people off the soff and towards the
life that they that that they deserve so
thank you Andrew we have a closing
tradition where the last guest leaves a
question for the next question left for
you is presumably you either do or don't
lean toward believing in an afterlife or
something after death if your belief
were proven definitely wrong how would
it change your behavior
today so which one do you believe I
guess I believe in an afterlife
interesting I believe in an afterlife I
don't
think I can conceptualize what that
would be but I believe that there is
something after we
pass and if that was proven definitively
wrong you know what's really [ __ ] up
is if that was proven definitively wrong
I would probably still challenge the
proof it would be hard to let that go it
would be hard to trust
proof you know I guess the answer then
to my to the question is how would my
life change I would spend a lot more
time thinking and challenging the belief
that I currently spend no time
reflecting or thinking
about does that make sense so yeah you
you'd spend more time challenging the
belief that there's an afterlife yes
which is kind of crazy
I would spend more time and energy
challenging the proof that proves my
fundamental belief wrong I would spend
more time in that thought process than I
spend in that thought process now why to
try and change it I I don't think it I
think it's because it would create such
a a a sense of dissonance in my head
because I've I've believed it for so
long and now it's definitively proved
wrong it's not like you can just flip a
coin and be like oh I was wrong but in
in this example you would basically be
there you'd be proven I know so you'd be
you'd be convinced so you wouldn't
actually be interrogating it because
that's what you would believe so so I
guess you're right if if the if the if
the question is assuming that as soon as
the proof comes out I accept the proof
and I accept the new reality yeah I can
I can that's a fair question too that's
a fair interpretation um I think I would
probably be that much more cautious
careful with the life that I have to
know that there is no Second Life there
is no SEC there's no after chance there
is
no coming back and visiting your
children their dreams there is no
meeting them In Heaven There is no
Nirvana there really is just black after
you pass would make me that much more
invested in the moments that I have now
because it's all I
got would it change any decision you've
made in the past yeah just like the
day-to-day decisions would you damn it
would hold this question sucks man good
question shitty answer I would if I knew
that and I had to go back I would change
all sorts of things I would take less
risks like less physical body bodily
risks I would have never learned how to
ride a motorcycle I would have never
skydived I would have never learned a
free dive I would have never learned a
sail I would have never I would have
never joined the CIA if I knew there was
no chance that like that this is the one
chance you get I would probably live a
very dull boring and conservative life
do you know what's interesting is I
don't think there's an
afterlife and I Skydive and I think I
take
risks but I'm okay with the fact that I
don't think anything happens after I die
yeah because I
think I was totally okay someone said I
think it was Ricky J said this once I
was how did you feel 100 years ago
I want I want us I want us to have a
beer 6 weeks after you have a
baby and talk about this question again
can we put that on a calendar I guess we
can't put that on a calendar yet or else
or else you have a much happier
partner because children's change
children change everything too children
change everything when it comes to your
tolerance for risking
yourself I I know you're telling the
truth a because I believe you be because
my brother who's a year older than me
has three kids and he said something
very peculiar to me one day I said Jason
why don't you fly to London and he goes
Stephen and he's um he's I think he was
Investment Bank for 12 years actal
scientist so literally his job was to
like assess probability probability
Super Genius at maths um he was like I
know this makes no
sense but I don't want to get on a plane
if my kids aren't on
it I love this
I had such I had a similar conversation
with somebody
recently and they were shocked when I
said almost the same thing because they
were like why would you want to get on a
plane if if you're afraid of getting on
a plane without your kids it's because
you're afraid the plane will crash and I
was like correct well then if you're
willing to get on a plane with your kids
aren't you afraid it will crash and for
me I'm like of course it could still
crash but now I'm I can be with my kids
to comfort them in that moment rather
than they have to live a life without
dad's comfort and without dad
forever I don't know why it makes sense
to me but I know that it makes sense to
me and I know that half of the people I
explain that to think it's really [ __ ]
up maybe people that don't have kids but
that's what my brother said to me and I
sat there because he's such a logical
smart guy and he knows the probability
he said it because I know the
probabilities of planes I know they're
safe because this makes no sense but
this is how I feel I don't want to get
on a plane and come to unless my kids
are on the plane with me wow and I
thought that makes no sense to
me the way you've R you've explained it
does help me to understand so maybe six
weeks after I have a kid maybe I will be
a bit more attached to some kind of
afterlife or or maybe not I mean and I'm
not saying I'm not saying the
afterlife I'm saying that the Reckless
like the fact that you take yeah you're
not afraid of death right now yeah I'm
not afraid of death no I feel like when
you have children it changes because now
it's not just your life that you're
impacting that's so crazy that's so
interesting and I know that there's so
many parents that are about to DM
LinkedIn me Instagram me and also you
and say exactly that they're going to
agree with you so Andrew thank you it's
been such an honor and I really really
enjoy speaking to you so um thank you
again for coming to do this and thank
you so much for the value you've brought
to the audience because you know you're
very much in every sense of the word One
of a Kind so I appreciate you Stephen I
appreciate being here thank you very
much for for the friendship and for the
opportunity and uh and you always come
so well prepared dude it's easy to have
a good time with
you perfect Ted has quite frankly taken
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[Music]
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Ask follow-up questions or revisit key timestamps.
Former CIA officer Andrew Bustamante, founder of Everyday Spy, discusses how intelligence tradecraft and frameworks can be applied to everyday life, business, and leadership. He explains the concepts of 'breaking the shed'—shattering conditioned societal beliefs—and using 'Social Capital' (the Four Cs) to build influence and achieve goals. Bustamante emphasizes the importance of understanding perspective versus perception, the necessity of testing information through experience, and the strategic value of polarity and honesty in both personal and professional spheres.
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