Good news for Scream fans. There's a new

movie out. Bad news for anyone who likes

good movies. It's not a good one. It's

uh it's here though. Scream 7.

The disgust you felt watching me do that

is about how disgusted you'll be wasting

your time and money watching this film.

Most people don't like this movie. Most

of the reviews aren't overly positive. I

just watched it. I am also in that camp

now. I didn't find a whole lot to like

about it. We're just going to dive right

in, get into the weeds, so here's your

spoiler warning. The best part of this

film is the first like 15 minutes. The

scene that you see plastered all in the

trailers, that is by far the best

content in the film. It's the intro

where you have two people in a house and

it's, you know, the house and guess

what? Ghost Face is there and he kills

them and it's actually pretty tense.

It's also pretty charming. Like, you

actually care more about those two

characters in that house than any of the

other characters that you spend the rest

of the movie with. They did a better job

making you care about those two, connect

with them, and actually root for them

than any of the other characters you see

from that point forward. every character

that you meet outside of like the core

characters of Sydney and Gail. And

here's your big spoiler, but I'm sure

most of you have probably already seen

this cuz it got leaked before the film

came out. Stew, played by Matthew

Lillard, also makes an appearance in

this movie. Outside of these three

characters, everyone else that you meet

is the biggest throwaway nothing burger

of just generic writing ever that just

ticks off boxes of buzzwords without

ever exploring anything about these

characters and you get actually nothing.

They are just meat balloons waiting to

be popped by the Ghost Face killer.

That's it. Like even Sydney's daughter

Tatum, like the relationship between

Sydney and Tatum is hardly explored.

Like now Sydney's an overprotective

parent. Tatum kind of resents her for

that and now she's like kind of

rebellious, but they never actually even

really talk or connect through a shared

experience until like the very end. Kind

of. It's just like all of a sudden like,

"Mom, this is really [ __ ] up stuff.

You been you've been through it and now

that I've been subjected to it, man, I

really get why you were so protective

all these years." It's like, okay, glad

that resolved. But like there's never

anything built up with like any of these

characters or their relationships to one

another. And every character that is

introduced in this film, every new

character, I [ __ ] you not, is here

solely to be killed. You get nothing of

substance with them. They get killed.

And some of the kills are actually

pretty decent. Like especially in the

tavern, there's a couple like moments in

there that was like, "Oh, that was a

really silly kill, but like self-aware

silly." But like the character that

dies, you probably don't even remember

the [ __ ] name of. Like they are the

most like they they have one character

trait. Like for example, Lucas is the

creepy guy. He's obsessed with horror

films and the story of Sydney Prescott.

So could he be Ghost Face or is he just

a obsessed weirdo guy? And then they

also introduce two new characters that

are working with Gail and they're like

reporters and they're into like true

crime and stuff. So, they're

investigating all this and they're doing

like the it could be Tatum's boyfriend

or it could be creepy guy, but creepy

guy maybe a little too obvious. Creepy

guy loves this a little too much. Maybe

creepy guy could be Ghost Face. That

kind of thing where it's supposed to be

self-aware, but it's very clearly

written by a 60-year-old man who clearly

has no idea how people actually talk.

So, it's just really embarrassing and

cringe to listen to. But anyway, like

every character that gets introduced has

one personality trait and it is all they

do and that's it. You get nothing else.

They hardly interact with each other.

And when they do, it's very stiff and

very bland. And then they die. And like

I said, some of the kills are

interesting, but that's all they do is

just die. So this whole film is just

here's a kill and a sequence that isn't

really intense. The sequences aren't

that intense outside of the first 15

minutes that ends with a kill that may

be satisfying or maybe it's just they

got stabbed and died. There's a couple

of those. But like Ghost Face racks up

quite a kill count here. the KD ratio

went ballistic and yet not a single kill

felt like it mattered at all because

also the main characters like Tatum

forget about all of her friends. All of

her friends die. They are brutally

murdered and she actually even witnessed

her boyfriend getting stabbed to death

and she basically forgets all about it

by the time the credits roll and even

drops like a hard oneliners hard

oneliner saying I'm Sydney [ __ ]

Prescott's daughter. It's like, okay,

wow, that this was quite a turnaround.

What about all your friends and your

boyfriend that has all been murdered?

Like, I guess whatever. We'll wipe her

ass with that. I guess it it's it's just

crazy how little they actually tried

with any character in this movie at all.

And and I think it's important to have

characters that you actually want to see

survive. Otherwise, you're just watching

a montage of kills and sequences that

aren't exactly amazing most of the time

and nothing else. There's really just

nothing of substance here. Anyway

though, I mentioned Matthew Lillard

makes a return to this film kind of.

This movie has some baffling decisions,

like actually shockingly dog [ __ ] ones.

So, one of the things is AI. And the way

Matthew Lillard reprises his role as

Stew is, you know, in the trailer where

it says, "Oh, I'm not hiding, Sydney.

Not this time." Well, in the film, he

then follows it up with a FaceTime call,

and it's Stu. It's Matthew Lillard as

Stu talking to her. So, then the

question becomes, is someone deep faking

this or is Stu really alive? So, then

her and Gail start investigating and it

they're starting to piece the puzzle

together. They go to an insane asylum

because one of the ghosts face killers

that they actually were able to kill.

Gail hit him with a car. Like, literally

a joke moment where Gail just flattens

this [ __ ] guy. They get out and

they're like, "Oh, vehic ve vehicular

manslaughter. Didn't expect that today."

They just murdered a guy. It was ghost

face obviously, but they kill this guy.

They unmask him and everyone just goes,

"Who the [ __ ] is that?" And it's just

some escaped like escaped psychotic guy

from the looney bin who I guess just out

of nowhere decided he wanted to killed

Sydney Prescott and her family. Kill the

daughter, kill the husband, kill

everyone as Ghost Face. So they tie it

back to the insane asylum, the the uh

ward, and that's when they talked to one

of the guys there who's like, "Oh yeah,

no, that guy, he was a bad guy, but he

was also friends with that guy on your

phone you just showed me a picture of.

That's John." So now they're like, "Oh

my god, Steu is really alive. It's

John." But they're also still not

entirely convinced. So Tatum, her

boyfriend,

forgot his name. Uh Ben, it might be

Ben. I don't I was either ber [ __ ]

jerkimo or something. I have no idea. It

shows what a good job this movie did of

making you actually pay attention to

these characters or care about them. But

they've said multiple times that this

guy, her boyfriend, is really good with

technology. So, it could be him deep

faking Stu because it's really unlikely

Stu is still alive. And then Tatum even

discovers that he was deep faking

himself as Steu. And he's like, "Wait,

no. I can explain, babe. I was just

seeing if the technology could do that,

if it's even possible." And she beats

him with a laptop. Turns out wasn't him.

He really was just seeing if it was AI.

He dies in the next scene. Completely

worthless. Again, completely worthless.

And every single time these characters

are together, it's a battle of who can

make the dumbest decisions fastest. So,

all these characters, all of her

friends, and even like the investigative

reporters that work with Gail, when they

are interacting with the group of

friends, they all just make the worst

decisions and even call out how stupid

their decisions are while making them

right before dying. And it's like, okay,

that doesn't make it better. It's still

just annoying to watch. It's so tropey.

And at this point, it's just lazy. Like,

you know it's lazy, but you don't care.

You're just [ __ ] sending it. Like,

you're insulting the intelligence of the

audience. It doesn't make up for trash.

It's crazy how dumb the decisions are.

For example, like uh Tatum when she's

getting ganked by Ghost Face and her

mom's on the phone's like, "You got to

shoot him through the wall. Shoot him

now." And she shoots him a bunch and he

goes down. Well, she then like

unblockades the door and goes out to try

and finish the job and then that's when

she gets captured. But it's like why did

you bother doing that? You just saw

shooting him through the wall worked. If

you want to finish him off, just keep

shooting him through the wall. I guess

just dump the mag. You don't have to go

out there and put yourself in danger

again. And in the theater, the entire

auditorium just sighed collectively when

she started moving like the furniture

away from the door to go out there

because it was just very obvious what

was going to happen next. And like

decisions like that happen constantly in

this movie. Constantly. Now anyway, by

far the worst moment of this film is the

ending. The entire ending. Like the last

10ish minutes or so. Well, actually,

it's it's closer to 20 because the

villain gives an extremely long- winded

monologue because it turns out it was

three Ghost Face killers and you don't

know [ __ ] anything about any of them.

They are random people. So, one of them

is the guy from the uh asylum that got

hit by the car. And it turns out he was

friends with two other people in that

asylum, a woman and a man. The guy I

don't remember the name of, but he was

like an employee there and they

befriended each other and then loved

Stab, which plays a crucial role in here

cuz half of this film is dedicated to

just regurgitating everything that

happened in previous Scream films, just

lord dropping everything that happened.

So even if you've never seen a Scream

film, you probably know scene for scene,

bar forbar, what happened in Scream 1,

cuz they do not shut the [ __ ] up about

it and just dropping all this nostalgia

bait and everything. and even making a

mention of, yeah, you know, if I was

making a new uh slasher film, I would be

doing a lot of nostalgia baiting. And

it's like, yeah, that's exactly what

this whole film has been. That doesn't

make it better. There's still nothing

here. Like, they even call it out and

still do it. It's so annoying. It's not

meta. It's just lazy. Anyway, though,

this this guy's going through like how

much they love the, you know, stab what

everything that happened with the

Prescott story. And then the other

friend is Jessica, who's actually

Sydney's neighbor, a family friend. And

it turns out she had an abusive husband

and became obsessed with the story of

Sydney Prescott through like her book

and everything and eventually worked up

the courage to kill her husband and then

resented Sydney because she didn't go to

New York and thought she was like, you

know, weak for it and then she became

just crazy and checked herself into an

asylum where she met the other two and

they cooked up this plan to uh basically

make Sydney 2.0 you know, or you know,

kill Sydney, that kind of thing. It's a

stupid [ __ ] conclusion where they

reveal the killers. It was very, very

awful. And I also think most people are

going to guess that the guy at the at

the insane asylum that they meet who was

like a weirdo briefly where he talked

about John, I think most people will be

like, "Yeah, that guy's probably in on

it in some way." Because they made that

pretty [ __ ] obvious. But I don't

think anyone will expect how stupid it

is. And it turns out prior to working at

that asylum, he was like a Google

engineer or something with AI, which is

how he was deep faking Stu's face onto

his videos and Jessica's videos that

they were uh interacting with Sydney on.

It sucks, man. And also, there's a big

point about you have to shoot them in

the head. That's what Sydney keeps

telling to Tatum, her daughter. shoot

them in the head because if you don't,

they're like zombies. They always

survive. And that happens actually three

times, I think, of them getting shot

everywhere but the head and then they

just disappear and they're still alive.

So, they act like they are literally

zombies. Movie sucks. The movie's just

not very good. Like I said, the first 15

minutes I actually was very surprised

that anyone was like [ __ ] on this

film cuz like this is a very solid 15

minutes. I'm really enjoying this so

far. And then after that it became very

clear the big problem with this movie.

All the problems became very clear. And

I'm just shocked that this is the film

they released to be honest because

Scream's always been pretty solid. I

haven't really watched the Scream movie

and been like damn that was terrible

until this one. This one really had me

go damn that just wasn't very good. So

yeah. Uh anyway that's really about it.

Tea up.