HomeVideos

Simon Sinek: You're Being Lied To About AI's Real Purpose! We're Teaching Our Kids To Not Be Human!

Now Playing

Simon Sinek: You're Being Lied To About AI's Real Purpose! We're Teaching Our Kids To Not Be Human!

Transcript

4238 segments

0:00

Let's say you have a fight with your

0:01

girlfriend. You want to do the right

0:02

thing. So, you go to chat GPT and you'd

0:04

be like, this is exactly what happened.

0:05

Tell me what to do. And you go, babe, I

0:07

just want you to know I want to take

0:08

full accountability and I care about

0:09

this relationship. And she says, did you

0:11

get this answer from chat GPT? And you

0:12

go, I did.

0:13

How's that going to go?

0:15

Now, you did everything right. But what

0:17

makes people beautiful is not that we

0:19

get everything right. It's that we get

0:21

many things wrong. And I think in the

0:22

modern world we live in, we forget that.

0:24

Simon Sinek is back.

0:26

He's the visionary thinker inspiring

0:28

millions to cultivate human connection.

0:30

Find their purpose and overcome any

0:32

modern-day challenges.

0:34

So, with AI and GPT, do you think it

0:35

really is cause for concern and deeper

0:37

thought?

0:37

So, I'm not in the AI business, but I am

0:39

in the humanity business. And here's the

0:40

problem that we never talk about. People

0:42

keep telling us, life is not about the

0:44

destination, life is about the journey.

0:46

But when we think about AI, we only

0:47

think about the destination and its

0:48

remarkable ability to write the book,

0:50

paint the painting, solve the problem.

0:52

But we forget the importance of doing

0:53

the work yourself. And I think in our

0:55

modern day and age, we have

0:57

underrepresented the value of struggle.

0:58

I am smarter, better at problem-solving,

1:01

more resourceful, not because a book

1:03

exists with my ideas in it, but because

1:05

I wrote it. That excruciating journey is

1:08

what made me grow. But it's the same for

1:09

love, friendships,

1:10

conflict.

1:11

And I think that we forget that we give

1:13

up certain skills or abilities because

1:15

of technology, but it's like saying AI

1:17

will provide boats for everyone except

1:19

for the time there's a storm and you

1:21

don't know how to swim.

1:23

And unless we take personal

1:25

accountability to teach and learn human

1:26

skills, they will disappear. Sure, you

1:28

can have an AI friend and train like the

1:30

best psychologist to affirm you, the

1:32

best listening skills that exist, but my

1:34

ability to know what to do when my

1:35

friend is struggling, my ability to

1:36

function in the world or my ability to

1:38

cope with stress. These very, very human

1:40

skills are suffering.

1:42

So, what are the other skills that we

1:43

need to equip ourselves with based on

1:45

the way that the world is heading?

1:46

Two things. One is

1:50

This has always blown my mind a little

1:51

bit. 53% of you that listen to this show

1:54

regularly haven't yet subscribed to this

1:56

show. So, could I ask you for a favor

1:58

before we start? If you like the show

1:59

and you like what we do here and you

2:00

want to support us, the free simple way

2:02

that you can do just that is by hitting

2:04

the subscribe button. And my commitment

2:06

to you is if you do that, then I'll do

2:07

everything in my power, me and my team,

2:09

to make sure that this show is better

2:10

for you every single week. We'll listen

2:12

to your feedback, we'll find the guests

2:14

that you want me to speak to, and we'll

2:16

continue to do what we do. Thank you so

2:17

much.

2:21

Simon.

2:23

Good to see you again. We are live.

2:27

It's just familiar.

2:29

Familiar.

2:31

It's so interesting cuz when I sit down

2:32

to talk to you, you're one of the very

2:33

few people that I don't come with a

2:35

preconception as to what we're going to

2:36

talk about. But but I I come with a

2:39

feeling.

2:40

And the feeling that I bring forth is

2:42

the feeling of change and transition.

2:46

I have lived for 32 years, but I don't

2:48

think I can ever think of a time where

2:51

the future has felt

2:53

unclear, uncertain, scary, exciting, and

3:01

I guess unknown. And I don't just mean

3:03

with with technology, but technology is

3:06

one protagonist in the story, and

3:07

there's many other social stories

3:09

playing out from politics to

3:11

relationships, to all of these things.

3:12

So, my first question to you, Simon, is

3:15

what are those things? What are the

3:17

biggest forces of changes that you see

3:19

happening at the moment in all of our

3:20

lives that you think we should probably

3:22

talk about today?

3:24

That is a big question.

3:26

And I think one of the mistakes we make,

3:30

and this is in general,

3:32

is we like things to be very neatly

3:34

organized. We like them to be black and

3:35

white, yes or no, right or wrong.

3:38

And as you know, the world is messier

3:41

than that. It is more nuanced than that.

3:43

And nothing operates in a vacuum,

3:45

everything is connected to everything.

3:46

Especially in a in a world that's filled

3:50

with

3:51

this rising technology called the

3:52

internet and this burgeoning technology

3:54

called the social media and desires and

3:57

feeling like belonging become more and

3:59

more important. We're struggling to find

4:01

them. Loneliness epidemic, stress

4:03

epidemic, suicide epidemics. These are

4:05

all feelings of disconnection, lack of

4:06

control, and loneliness.

4:08

And so that only exaggerates our feeling

4:10

of loneliness and despair and wanting

4:12

more and etc. etc. etc. And then you add

4:14

in AI.

4:15

And now those feelings of insecurity are

4:17

just exaggerated like crazy.

4:19

Right?

4:20

So now I find AI there's an irony to AI.

4:23

Right? So if you go back to the 70s and

4:26

80s, right? You had the rise of

4:28

robotics. And so robots are now coming

4:30

into our factories and we're able to cut

4:35

employees by dramatic amounts

4:38

and we put people out on the street who

4:40

they're they worked in a factory, their

4:43

their father worked in a factory, their

4:44

father's father worked in a factory.

4:45

Like this is this is what they know. And

4:47

they say, "But these robots are changing

4:49

they're taking our jobs."

4:51

And the ruling classes and the and the

4:53

Wall Street classes and the CEO classes,

4:56

they go, "Yeah, I know. Technology.

4:59

You're going to have to find a new

4:59

skill. Reskill. Reskill. That's what

5:01

you're going to do. Reskill." Okay,

5:02

flash forward to AI. Here's where the

5:04

irony comes in. Cuz the world is always

5:07

nature pours vacuum and life seeks

5:08

balance at all times, right?

5:10

Not always immediately, but it seeks

5:12

balance at all times. It's always

5:13

seeking equilibrium. Okay, so flash

5:15

forward to AI.

5:16

Now you hear

5:18

the knowledge workers.

5:20

It's the knowledge workers who are

5:21

going, "My job." It's the coders.

5:24

It's the

5:25

finance people. "My job."

5:28

The plumber is not worried about AI

5:30

at all.

5:32

The baggage handler at the airport cares

5:34

zero about AI.

5:36

And so maybe the right response is

5:39

it's the future, man. It's technology.

5:40

Reskill. Reskill. You know? Maybe maybe

5:43

become a plumber. You you

5:45

By the way, money's really good. You get

5:47

to work for yourself if you want, you

5:48

know?

5:49

Um so, I just find the pendulum kind of

5:51

funny.

5:53

With AI, do you think it's overblown or

5:55

do you think it really

5:57

is cause for

5:58

concern and deeper thought?

6:00

The honest answer is

6:02

I don't know.

6:03

Mhm.

6:04

Everybody falls on one side of you're

6:07

over you're over you're you know, the

6:08

sky is not falling chill chicken little

6:11

or the sky is falling and we're all

6:13

going to die, right?

6:15

The The truth like most things is

6:17

probably somewhere in the middle.

6:19

But the the real answer is I don't know

6:21

and neither does anybody else.

6:22

Yeah.

6:23

And it seems that we should have some

6:25

sort of controls cuz we didn't put any

6:27

controls on the internet.

6:28

Mhm.

6:28

They did put controls on the internet in

6:30

China.

6:31

Like children don't have the same access

6:33

to

6:34

uh social media like kids do here.

6:36

Europe has controls on the internet.

6:40

And America doesn't.

6:42

And we're the ones that seem to be

6:43

suffering more because of the lack of

6:46

controls on the internet.

6:47

Mhm.

6:48

So, I think some some And by the way,

6:51

when people you know, talk about

6:52

deregulation and no controls, I mean

6:54

they make us wear seat belts in our

6:55

cars.

6:56

Yeah.

6:56

You know, there's nothing we have speed

6:58

limits.

6:59

You know, and and it's for the greater

7:01

good and yeah, sure your seat belt's

7:03

uncomfortable but you'll get used to it.

7:05

Like

7:06

and it's fine, you know? So, I I think

7:09

the call for no reform is is wrong.

7:12

Um there are

7:13

correct limits to keep things safe.

7:15

Mhm.

7:16

I'm fascinated by AI, both the benefits

7:18

and the weaknesses of it.

7:21

But it is revealing to me

7:24

something

7:26

more important than

7:28

what other people are talking about.

7:31

Which is we're

7:32

we're a results obsessed society, right?

7:37

Yeah.

7:38

We care about output, we care about

7:39

performance, we care about numbers, we

7:41

care about final product more than

7:43

anything. Right? And when people talk

7:45

about AI, they talk about its remarkable

7:48

ability to write the symphony, paint the

7:50

painting,

7:51

write the book, write the article,

7:54

uh solve the problem. Like it it is And

7:57

by the way,

7:58

the technology is incredible. I asked it

8:00

only a few months ago

8:02

to please take this and put it in the

8:03

style of me. And it was

8:06

it was fine. I did it with a friend of

8:07

mine who's also an author, and we both

8:09

did it for ourselves. We did it on each

8:10

other. It was really fun.

8:11

And it was fine. I don't think it was

8:13

good. It was

8:14

It was It gave me a good start and I

8:15

could edit it.

8:17

I did it recently. We both did it.

8:19

It was damn near flawless.

8:20

It was

8:22

it was scary good. Right?

8:25

Now, AI doesn't know the thing I'm

8:27

thinking about. It doesn't know that the

8:29

next book I'm going to write about is

8:30

friendship. It doesn't know the point of

8:31

view I'm going to have on friendship. If

8:32

you ask it, "What would Simon Sinek say

8:33

about friendship?" It's going to be,

8:34

"Why this and why that?" You know? So,

8:36

it's derivative, right? We know that.

8:38

It's not original. We know that.

8:40

But at the end of the day, the work is

8:41

good. The symphony's good. The art is

8:43

good. The article is good. The book is

8:45

decent. Like it's getting better and

8:46

better and better. But here's the

8:48

problem that we keep not talking about.

8:50

People keep telling us that life is not

8:52

about the destination. Life is about the

8:54

journey. That's what we keep being told,

8:56

right?

8:58

But when we think about AI, we only

9:00

think about the destination. We only

9:01

think about the output. We never think

9:02

about the input, right? I can tell you

9:05

that and you and I can both say the same

9:07

thing,

9:08

which is I am smarter,

9:11

better at problem-solving,

9:13

more resourceful,

9:15

better at pattern rec- pattern

9:16

recognition, not because an a a book

9:19

exists with my ideas in it, but because

9:21

I wrote it.

9:23

The excruciating pain

9:25

of organizing ideas, putting them in a

9:27

linear fashion,

9:29

trying to put them in a way that other

9:31

people can understand what I'm trying to

9:32

get out of my brain, that excruciating

9:34

journey

9:35

is what made me grow.

9:37

And sure, you can have an AI friend. And

9:40

that AI friend has been trained like the

9:42

best best psychologist to affirm you,

9:45

the best listening skills that exist.

9:47

Tell me about your day. Mm, that sounds

9:49

difficult. Mm, boy, it's hard being you.

9:51

Oh my god, it's so great being you. Have

9:53

you you know, like it's it's a it's an

9:55

affirmation machine built by a

9:57

for-profit company that wants you to

9:58

stay on. Can't neglect that.

10:02

But for the fact that nobody's learning

10:04

how to be a friend.

10:06

It'll feel good. You'll feel like you

10:08

have a friend, but you're not learning

10:09

to be a friend.

10:11

Right? And it's the

10:13

what made you a great entrepreneur is

10:15

not that the company exists.

10:17

Is that you built it with your hands and

10:19

you got the scars to show for it.

10:21

Yeah.

10:21

It was when things went wrong and you

10:23

were forced to fix them and think that

10:25

now, when problems show up,

10:28

you're quick, you're smarter. You're a

10:29

much smarter businessman now than you

10:32

were 5 years ago.

10:34

6 years ago.

10:35

Yeah.

10:35

Because you did it. And I think what

10:37

we're forgetting is that there's

10:39

something to be said for And by the way,

10:40

I'm a fan of AI. I want AI to make

10:43

things.

10:44

But I would hate to lose out on becoming

10:46

a better version of me.

10:48

And I think that um

10:51

to really learn to grow. And by the way,

10:54

I used to have a steel trap for phone

10:56

numbers. I knew everybody's phone

10:57

number.

10:59

And then all of a sudden my phone

11:01

my PDA

11:03

God, I don't need to memorize a phone

11:04

number anymore. I don't know most of the

11:06

people that I love, I don't know their

11:07

phone numbers. I type their name in.

11:10

Right? I just have to know their name.

11:11

And so, my brain literally went on

11:13

strike. It said, "Fine.

11:15

Fine. You no longer have the capacity to

11:17

remember phone numbers." And I can't

11:18

remember phone numbers to save my life.

11:20

Right? So, we give up certain skills or

11:23

abilities because of technology

11:24

regularly. Right? That's fine. I don't

11:27

have a problem with any of those things

11:28

because whether I can remember a phone

11:30

number or not will not affect my

11:31

relationships, my ability to function in

11:33

the world, or my ability to cope with

11:34

stress.

11:36

But my ability

11:38

to know what to do when my friend is

11:40

struggling.

11:42

My ability to know what to do when I

11:44

have a fight with my spouse

11:46

my or my partner.

11:49

My ability to know what to do when my

11:52

boss yells at me, but I don't want to

11:53

escalate it, or

11:56

my employee is acting out and I don't

11:58

want to escalate it or fire them.

12:00

Well, how do I resolve this?

12:03

I've missed out on those skills. And

12:04

simply asking AI, "How should I resolve

12:07

this thing?" It'll give you an answer

12:08

and it may work, and you've learned

12:09

nothing.

12:11

Right? And so it's the difference

12:13

between It's It's It's like saying AI

12:14

will provide boats for everyone.

12:18

Except for the time

12:19

there's a storm

12:21

and you don't know how to swim.

12:23

And

12:24

I'm okay use the boat.

12:26

Mhm. Also learn to swim. So I think

12:28

there's something to be said for writing

12:29

your own symphony,

12:31

painting your own painting,

12:33

building your own business,

12:34

you know,

12:36

writing your own book. Not for them, not

12:38

for the output. Not for the output.

12:41

For your personal growth.

12:42

Before I got here today, I was writing a

12:46

post for LinkedIn and I was trying to

12:47

make the case that

12:49

everybody using ChatGPT to write their

12:52

emails, their social media posts, their

12:54

investment pitches that I received

12:57

had is now making the internet feel

12:59

really inauthentic because

13:01

people that I want I knew for many many

13:03

years are now sending me these perfect

13:05

cookie cutter emails with words that

13:08

I've never heard them use before.

13:09

course.

13:10

And so when I read it, my brain mentally

13:11

discounts it as not being their opinion,

13:14

not actually being them.

13:15

Yeah.

13:15

And when you feel like you're speaking

13:16

to someone's AI

13:18

the meaning is gone. So I was I was

13:20

writing this post about how actually now

13:22

there's this premium on human written

13:24

language. Like if you make a couple of

13:26

mistakes and you use the old words, you

13:28

don't use words like forged and robust.

13:31

I'd like to forge a partnership with

13:33

you, Stephen.

13:35

Furthermore, can we I'm like you you

13:37

never said that to me, mate.

13:39

You know the the end dashes.

13:41

Oh my gosh.

13:42

It's funny, right?

13:43

It's crazy.

13:44

Yeah.

13:44

But you but you you're talking about

13:46

what you're talking about. Have you ever

13:47

heard of the Japanese concept of um uh

13:51

uh

13:52

wabi-sabi?

13:52

No.

13:53

So, wabi-sabi is a Japanese design

13:55

concept, which is beauty in that which

13:57

is temporary or imperfect.

14:00

Okay? So, have you ever seen Japanese

14:02

ceramics?

14:02

Yeah.

14:03

They're wonky.

14:04

Or the the the glaze is not even.

14:07

Yeah.

14:07

And they're beautiful. You know why?

14:08

Because they're handmade.

14:10

Tree bark, trees. You know, when you

14:12

have a wooden bowl,

14:14

wood is beautiful. Why? It's imperfect.

14:18

Right? Think and unique. Things made on

14:21

a machine

14:22

are the same

14:24

and less beautiful. And things made by

14:27

hand are beautiful because they're

14:30

imperfect. What makes people beautiful

14:33

is not that we get everything right.

14:35

It's that we get many things wrong. And

14:38

what makes us fall in love

14:40

is not the person who's perfect. It's

14:42

the person who accepts our

14:43

imperfections, and we know we're in love

14:45

when we learn to accept theirs. Not

14:47

learn to, want to.

14:49

Right? And you're 100% right. I now know

14:52

in the art world, artists are being

14:54

asked to sign affidavits

14:57

that say, "I painted this.

15:00

I made this.

15:01

Not AI. Not because it's better or

15:04

worse.

15:05

It's because I want to know it was

15:07

touched by human hands.

15:09

And so, I think you're right. What will

15:10

happen is everything will be so perfect

15:14

that it'll be as if we're all

15:16

driving or using things that everything

15:19

came off a conveyor belt.

15:21

Mhm.

15:22

And what we will start to desire is

15:23

things that are made by hand because by

15:25

the way, we think Rolls-Royce, Ferrari.

15:29

You takes 39 months to get a Ferrari.

15:31

You know why? It was made by hand.

15:33

Yeah.

15:34

Right? And one of the things that makes

15:36

it expensive is the technology and the

15:37

carbon fiber and all that. But the other

15:39

thing is it's slow and was made by

15:41

people.

15:43

Human error, the value of human error.

15:44

The value of human error.

15:45

Scooter Braun said to me the other day,

15:47

he said um

15:49

we could watch a computer play chess

15:51

with another computer. He goes, "But the

15:54

the chess games that have the highest

15:56

demand are one human versus another

15:57

because when a computer plays a

15:59

computer, the moves are predictable and

16:00

they're the same and they're perfect.

16:02

But it's the human error of two human

16:04

chess players who are worse, objectively

16:05

worse at chess, that makes it so

16:07

fascinating."

16:08

Yes, it's

16:09

and that's any sporting event. Any

16:11

sporting event. It's not the perfection

16:13

of the game, it's the error that loses

16:14

the game that adds the drama. And

16:17

and and it's like trying not to make a

16:19

mistake is as powerful as trying to get

16:21

everything right. And it's the humanity

16:23

of the sport, the humanity of the

16:24

competition. It is the imperfection and

16:26

I think that we forget as people what

16:28

makes us beautiful. Like when you go on

16:29

a first date

16:30

Mhm.

16:31

or a first interview,

16:32

Mhm.

16:33

all you do is present perfection.

16:35

Mhm.

16:36

Put on my my best clothes,

16:39

you know, dressed up. I know I don't

16:40

dress like this every day. I dressed up

16:42

on my date, right? My interview, I don't

16:45

wear this. This is what I wore for my

16:46

interview cuz I want to put out a good

16:48

impression. And I practiced and I and I

16:51

make myself confident I've got a great

16:53

job and I've got a great personality and

16:54

I love my mother and my goodness and

16:56

everything's great. And then you get in

16:57

the relationship, you get the job and

16:58

you become a slob.

17:00

Right?

17:01

This is what AI is. It's it's

17:03

it's to your point, it's

17:06

it's fake.

17:07

Mhm.

17:07

It's on the interview example, the

17:09

minute you start describing that, I

17:11

immediately flash back to an interview I

17:12

had last week at our company where a

17:14

young kid walks in wearing a suit and I

17:16

thought, "Now I I have no idea who you

17:18

are

17:19

because I know that's not you. I know

17:21

that you don't wear a suit. You're 22

17:23

years old. You do not wear a suit. So, I

17:25

have no indication, I have no clues as

17:28

to who you are, and therefore, it's

17:30

harder for me to figure out if you fit

17:31

here. And I think of because what he

17:33

tried to do that was show up perfect how

17:36

he what he thought perfect was,

17:38

and in some ways to hide who he actually

17:40

was. Whereas, this is why I like now on

17:42

the internet sloppy text. I like

17:44

grammatical mistakes.

17:45

But you at the same time you don't want

17:46

him to show up and put his feet on to

17:48

kick his shoes off and put his feet on

17:49

the table, either.

17:50

In the same way that

17:51

There's an element of respect you want,

17:53

and you want somebody in their first

17:54

interview to put on some effort. Now,

17:55

too much effort

17:57

Yeah.

17:57

is

17:59

pretty inauthentic, but too little

18:00

effort

18:02

what's that?

18:02

This is my diagram. You've got perfect

18:05

Yeah.

18:06

on one end, which is low, and then

18:08

you've got poor, which is also low. The

18:09

sweet spot

18:10

Yeah.

18:11

is right here in the middle.

18:12

Yeah, well, I think there's some truth

18:13

to that. And so,

18:15

there's a level of you know, like it's

18:17

the same thing as like we all want

18:18

vulnerability in our relationships, but

18:19

not on the first day.

18:21

Like I don't need to know that quite

18:23

yet.

18:24

You know?

18:25

What are the other skills that you think

18:27

we need to equip ourselves with based on

18:30

the way that the world is heading?

18:31

Because with you know,

18:33

like the calculator came along, and we

18:34

no longer needed to be able to do

18:36

complicated math.

18:37

I've completely forgotten my times

18:38

tables.

18:38

I can't spell anymore. It's all fine. I

18:40

said to my friends, "The most I can do

18:41

is 9 * 9. That's like the top end of my

18:44

range."

18:45

But with spelling, it's the same. I get

18:46

like half the word correct, and then I

18:48

don't know what they are, and it doesn't

18:49

But but again, uh you know,

18:51

So, what are those skills that

18:52

I think it's all human skills. I think

18:53

there needs So, I think where the world

18:55

is going to go, and at least this is

18:56

where I'm taking a bet,

18:58

is that as the end product becomes

19:01

easier to produce,

19:02

it's the humanity that's going to

19:03

suffer.

19:05

And unless we take personal

19:07

accountability both as individuals and

19:09

organizations to teach and learn human

19:11

skills, they will disappear for all the

19:13

reasons we're talking about. So, how do

19:15

I listen?

19:17

How do I hold space?

19:19

How do I resolve conflict peacefully?

19:21

How do I give and how do I receive

19:23

feedback? Those are all two different

19:25

skills.

19:26

How do I have an effective

19:27

confrontation? You pissed me off.

19:29

Do I know how to approach you as a

19:31

friend, as a colleague without creating

19:34

a massive fight or losing a friendship

19:36

over it? Um how to take accountability,

19:38

how to express empathy. These skills,

19:40

these very, very human skills are the

19:43

things that we're already starting to

19:44

see

19:45

just with the internet and social media

19:47

um are suffering. And so, I think AI

19:50

will only exaggerate the loss of those

19:51

skills, and those skills are more

19:53

important than learning how to spell.

19:55

One of the concerning things was I heard

19:57

Sam Altman, who's the founder of OpenAI

19:59

and ChatGPT, launch this thing called

20:01

Worldcoin a couple of years ago when

20:03

ChatGPT really started taking off. And

20:06

it has been closely tied to the concept

20:08

of universal basic income.

20:10

Mhm.

20:11

The idea, the overarching idea is that

20:13

in a world where AI and automation

20:15

eliminate many jobs, UBI may be

20:17

necessary. Worldcoin is one way to help

20:21

implement it. That was stated by the

20:23

founder of ChatGPT, Sam Altman.

20:24

Yeah. I just again, I'll go back to my

20:26

ironic statement before. Isn't it ironic

20:29

that they want to do a a universal

20:31

income, a standard universal income, now

20:33

that the knowledge workers are losing

20:34

their jobs, but when the factory workers

20:35

were losing their jobs,

20:37

those same people were massively against

20:41

uh

20:41

uh these kinds of things. So,

20:44

I mean, yes.

20:45

What happens to purpose

20:46

it's ironic.

20:47

and meaning if we're being cuz for

20:49

anybody that doesn't know what universal

20:50

basic income is, the idea is the

20:52

government, the state, whatever would

20:53

pay you a certain amount of money every

20:55

single

20:55

salary.

20:56

So, $2,000, $3,000, whatever it might

20:58

be.

20:58

Yeah.

20:59

Um because they don't think

21:01

many of us are going to have There's not

21:02

going to be enough jobs to go around.

21:04

And I wonder what happens to purpose and

21:06

meaning and pursuing challenge and all

21:08

these things

21:09

in a world where we're just being handed

21:10

money?

21:11

So, we're not being given wealth.

21:13

There's a difference. We're being given

21:16

survival money, right? And so, you know,

21:19

you know, we have to be very careful

21:21

that says, you know, everybody who's on

21:22

welfare is lazy. You know, that's not

21:24

true, you know? So, we have to be very

21:25

careful that just because we give

21:27

somebody something doesn't mean that

21:29

they cease to have ambition or purpose

21:31

or drive. It's like somebody who who

21:34

makes a a commission salary, commission,

21:36

you know, works on commission and they

21:37

make just enough to pay their rent and

21:39

buy food and that's it. Like, that's a

21:42

lot that's a lack of ambition, you know?

21:44

The cases,

21:45

at least the people I've heard talk

21:47

about it, they make a compelling case

21:49

for it, especially in a world where

21:51

there is plenty of wealth.

21:53

Um, but, you know, I don't know enough

21:55

about it to make an argument for or

21:57

against it, if I'm honest. Um, but I do

21:59

find it ironic

22:00

that

22:01

the Sam Altmans of the world are calling

22:03

for it, given the fact that it's there's

22:04

going to be so many job losses when it's

22:06

jobs of their kind. And like, I also

22:07

think that's funny. Like, what's going

22:09

to happen

22:10

when

22:11

Sam Altman's product gets good enough

22:14

that he can lay off most of his staff?

22:18

Just curious.

22:20

What happens?

22:23

He has made a point of having, I think

22:26

it's 100 people or less in his company.

22:29

He doesn't have like a big team. And I

22:31

think part of that is because when I

22:32

heard his TED Talk a couple of days ago,

22:34

he's saying, yeah, I think AGI is sooner

22:36

than we think, actually. And I think

22:37

we're going to have a fast takeoff,

22:39

which means it's going to arrive very

22:40

quickly and accelerate very quickly. So,

22:42

I think he's actually preparing not to.

22:44

Yeah, but when happen what happens to

22:45

the 90 people he lays off?

22:48

When he doesn't need 100, he only needs

22:49

10.

22:50

Th- This is the question.

22:51

I'm just curious. I don't know. And this

22:53

is why anybody who has an opinion about

22:54

it, the answer is we don't know. But, I

22:55

think people react very differently when

22:57

it's their job on the line.

23:00

Mhm. When it's their income on the line.

23:01

When it's their pride. When it's their

23:04

ego.

23:05

You know? I keep hearing from companies,

23:08

I mean, you we were talking about this

23:09

before we turn on the cameras. You know,

23:12

you know, you talk to if you want a new

23:13

website,

23:15

you I guarantee you I don't I don't care

23:16

which company you talk to, they will all

23:18

talk about how they AI this, AI that,

23:21

and you ask the question, are you using

23:22

AI? Yes, we're using AI, we're doing it

23:24

differently, we're the future, blah blah

23:25

blah.

23:26

And then you ask them for a proposal,

23:28

it's going to look like all the other

23:29

proposals from 2015.

23:32

You know? And this is how many hours

23:34

it's going to take our people to program

23:36

this and code this. And I was like, what

23:37

happened to all the AI? Why is this

23:40

slow and expensive

23:42

when everything's supposed to be fast

23:43

and inexpensive?

23:44

Because they're taking the margin.

23:46

Of course they're taking the margin. And

23:48

and they've got a lot of people doing

23:49

things the old-fashioned way because

23:51

the business model, you know, pe- people

23:52

work very hard to put The status quo

23:54

exists

23:56

because there are people who benefit

23:57

from the status quo.

23:58

You know, that's why there is a status

24:00

quo.

24:01

And it's uh and you know, like I said,

24:02

everybody's into change the future, you

24:05

know, until it's until it's them

24:08

that's threatened.

24:09

Or their income.

24:10

The billionaires that I that I know, the

24:12

one consistent thing they've whispered

24:14

to me about AI is that

24:16

people are going to have a lot of free

24:17

time.

24:18

That's one of the things that's been

24:19

really consistent. You're so right when

24:21

you say that when I asked you about the

24:22

future of AI, you said, "I don't know."

24:24

The reason why I know that's probably

24:25

the correct answer generally is because

24:27

when I sat with the most advanced people

24:28

in AI, whether it's Mustafa who's head

24:30

of Microsoft AI, now CEO of Microsoft

24:32

AI, or people from Google, or the CEO of

24:35

Google, or Reid Hoffman who's the

24:38

founder of LinkedIn, they all had

24:40

different opinions.

24:41

Which made me to think actually the

24:43

right answer is nobody knows.

24:44

The right answer is nobody That is

24:45

correct. And and and you always be be be

24:48

aware of the messenger, right? Like you

24:49

won't have anybody who owns an AI

24:51

company talking doomsday scenarios.

24:54

It's not in their economic interest,

24:55

even if they secretly harbor that. It's

24:57

like people who

24:58

used to run cigarette companies didn't

24:59

smoke and let them they didn't let their

25:01

family smoke. It's like I remember

25:03

visiting Facebook in the earlier days

25:05

and they

25:07

I went into the cafeteria and they had

25:08

like

25:09

like picnic benches.

25:11

And I was like and they were telling me

25:13

with pride how they have these communal

25:15

eating areas to help people maintain

25:18

relationship. And I was like this is

25:20

hilarious. You literally have a product

25:22

that breaks relationships and yet you

25:24

understand enough to make people eat

25:25

together at lunchtime so that they'll

25:27

maintain relationship. I mean

25:30

the point being if your economic

25:31

interest, you know, show me how

25:32

someone's paid and I'll show you how

25:33

they behave.

25:35

You know.

25:35

One of the scariest conversations I was

25:37

privy to was one a friend of mine who's

25:39

a billionaire in London he knows the CEO

25:42

of one of the biggest AI companies in

25:44

the world who I can't name and he said

25:45

by the way what he tells me in private

25:47

is not what he's saying in publicly.

25:49

Yeah.

25:49

I he he said to me that what this

25:51

particular CEO thinks is going to happen

25:53

with AI is pretty horrific. And the CEO

25:56

of this big AI company is totally cool

25:58

with it. It's It's and it's horrific

26:00

what he thinks is about to happen. And

26:01

then when I watch this guy do his like

26:03

online talks and give his opinion he's

26:05

so nuanced and everything will be fine

26:07

and he's an AI optimist. Then I heard

26:09

this scenario at this kitchen table in

26:11

East London from his friend about what

26:13

he really thinks and it was

26:15

chilling.

26:15

Yeah.

26:16

Like actually the lack of empathy

26:17

Yeah.

26:18

That makes sense to me.

26:19

the the obsession with power

26:22

was shocking to me.

26:23

Yeah. The obsession with power and money

26:25

and all the rest of it. Yeah.

26:26

But this is because the internet has

26:28

done something really strange

26:30

and and challenged one of my theories

26:33

head-on, right? So I talk about in an

26:36

infinite game

26:37

you know, Jim Jim Carse his theory. You

26:40

know, in an infinite game there's no

26:41

winners or losers, right? And so like

26:43

nobody wins, you know,

26:46

fast food.

26:47

Nobody wins cars. Like

26:49

General Motors, Ford, Vauxhall they can

26:52

all exist at the same time, right?

26:55

And they'll have degrees of success or

26:56

not success, but they can all exist

26:58

simultaneously. No one is going to win.

27:01

The exception is in the internet. In in

27:03

the like like Amazon

27:06

it won.

27:07

Yeah.

27:07

Like you know, Google for search?

27:10

Yep, they won.

27:11

Right? And if you start going down like

27:13

the big big tech companies

27:16

there is only one. I mean, sure there's

27:17

competition, but not really, right? Who

27:20

you know,

27:21

Walmart is making a run of it to

27:22

threaten Amazon, but Amazon's still so

27:24

damn big. You know, all of these

27:26

companies that there's only one.

27:28

And

27:30

that's not good.

27:32

That you can't have winners in a in a

27:34

category. And so this is why I think the

27:36

the race for AI is so aggressive for AI

27:39

dominance is so aggressive and which is

27:41

why people are not being careful and

27:43

which is why they're not putting

27:43

controls is because the way that tech

27:46

seems to work is there probably will be

27:48

one dominant standard and then that's

27:50

it.

27:51

And the question is which one? Because I

27:53

don't think

27:55

it just seems to be the way it is.

27:57

Which is a very scary prospect to me

27:58

that the the fact that we can have

27:59

winners

28:00

is is a bad thing, especially if we if

28:02

we pride ourselves on being capitalists.

28:04

Then there cannot be there cannot be a

28:06

winner. And there cannot be one that is

28:07

so dominant that that nobody else can

28:09

even

28:10

compete except for scraps.

28:13

What are your emotions when you think

28:14

about AI and what's happening cuz

28:16

I I feel like the moment we're living in

28:19

is a profound one and that we don't

28:20

actually realize it. Because when these

28:22

tools come out, Open AI released

28:24

yesterday

28:25

3.0, it's the best model ever.

28:28

The day after my life was the same.

28:30

So we don't really notice it cuz we go

28:31

back to work, our clients ask for the

28:32

same thing, we have the same team

28:33

members sat around us. The it almost

28:35

seems like the sand timer is rotated

28:38

and we're on a clock.

28:39

And it's a slow disruption of our

28:42

everyday lives. Sam Altman the other day

28:44

on his TED Talk two three four days ago

28:45

he in the short term everything will

28:47

appear the same, but in the long term,"

28:49

he goes, "life is going to be completely

28:50

different."

28:51

that's right. I mean, and look at any

28:53

any technology like the like AI,

28:57

it was kind of the same until it wasn't.

28:59

And these are evolutions, not

29:00

revolutions. Like there's a

29:01

revolutionary bit,

29:02

Mhm.

29:02

you know? Like I remember when when the

29:04

internet showed up and like brick and

29:06

internet shopping showed up and all the

29:08

technologists were like, "It's the end

29:09

of stores. It's the end of bricks and

29:10

mortar. Like done. Like we'll never go

29:12

to a shop again."

29:14

Well, that didn't happen. Now, shops

29:16

struggle to compete against internet,

29:17

but that's a price thing. Right? That's

29:19

that's a business model thing. But we

29:20

like going shopping because again,

29:22

they've all of these companies always

29:23

forget, especially technologists,

29:26

they all forget that the end user is a

29:28

human being. And most of us

29:31

don't fully understand everything. Even

29:33

even our iPhones, most people use a a

29:35

small percentage of all the capabilities

29:37

of our iPhones. Most of us don't even

29:38

know how to change the damn settings to

29:40

make it do something we want. Right?

29:42

Even and you neither do your kids. It's

29:44

not an adult thing. Right? It's not an

29:46

old person thing. Like

29:48

and there's a few people who get more

29:50

out of it and good for them.

29:52

Some people use it just as a phone.

29:54

Fine.

29:55

And it's a bell curve. So, I think there

29:57

will be a few people and a few companies

29:59

that will get more value out of these

30:00

things than the rest of us. But I think

30:02

he's right. I think there'll be a

30:04

revolutionary bit

30:06

and then it'll settle.

30:07

I I I'm I find this whole thing

30:09

fascinating. When you ask me how do I

30:11

feel, you know, depending on what

30:12

subject I'm talking about,

30:14

absolute fear

30:16

and absolute amazement. I I I have I

30:19

have both and everything in between.

30:21

When I think about how it affects

30:22

democracy and the ability to make deep

30:24

fakes and and how it can manipulate

30:27

people and their opinions to vote one

30:29

way or another,

30:31

I have real fear.

30:32

Yeah.

30:33

Right? When it comes to like

30:35

productivity and the reshaping of

30:36

business, you know, technologists and

30:38

people who who are part of the internet

30:39

revolution, they love to say, you know,

30:42

20 years ago, 80% of the jobs we have

30:44

now didn't exist. They love to say that,

30:46

right? But when you ask them now,

30:47

they'll

30:48

they

30:49

they they'll

30:50

they seem to think that I think it's the

30:51

same, which is all those people who are

30:53

going to lose those jobs in

30:54

white-collar, you know, in white-collar

30:55

jobs and knowledge workers.

30:57

I they they're not they're not going to

30:58

not work. There's going to be new jobs.

31:01

The IRS digitized a whole bunch of years

31:03

ago, right? They got rid of all the

31:05

accountants and they put in all the

31:06

computers, right?

31:08

Do you know how much money the IRS saved

31:10

when it when it

31:11

cha- completely changed the the way it

31:13

looked?

31:14

No.

31:14

The answer is zero. Yes, they got rid of

31:16

all the accountants and they needed to

31:17

hire all the IT people.

31:19

Mhm.

31:19

So, the the the the workforce looks

31:22

different, but it didn't get smaller.

31:25

And so, I think it's the same thing.

31:26

What it's we're we also we already know

31:29

the massive, incredible amounts of

31:31

energy

31:33

that it takes for AI to work. Data

31:35

centers that use up massive amounts of

31:38

electricity like we've never seen in our

31:39

lives.

31:40

Like nuclear has to be a thing. There

31:42

isn't enough coal or oil or solar or

31:45

wind to power these things. It just

31:48

doesn't exist. So, nuclear has to be a

31:50

thing. So, go be a nuclear engineer. Go

31:53

You want to get an advanced degree? I

31:55

don't need you to be a coder. You know,

31:56

coding was a thing for a Go be a nuke.

31:59

Cuz by the way, you got to be just as

32:00

smart to be a nuke as you have to be a a

32:02

a a a So, you're going to start to see

32:05

that. You know, you're going to see

32:06

energy work. Um

32:08

I just think the jobs will change. I

32:10

don't think they're going to like it's I

32:12

I completely One thing I do disagree

32:14

with, you know, which is not like you're

32:15

going to be a bunch of people walking

32:16

around bored.

32:17

I just think the jobs will change.

32:19

If there was a a 10-year-old kid stood

32:21

here now and the 10-year-old said to us,

32:23

said, "Guys, what do you think I should

32:26

focus on?"

32:27

I would say two things.

32:29

Um

32:31

uh one is going back to human skills.

32:33

Learn how to be a good friend to your

32:35

friends.

32:35

Okay, how do I learn that?

32:37

You're going to really need that. How

32:38

does a 10-year-old learn that or how do

32:39

you and I learn that?

32:41

Both.

32:41

A 10-year-old learns it that when they

32:43

go and have a playdate at a friend's

32:44

house, a smart parent takes away all the

32:46

phones. I would hate that the

32:48

10-year-old has a phone in the first

32:49

place, but if they do, take away all the

32:50

phones

32:51

and make the kids go play.

32:54

That when they have a fight,

32:55

the parents make them say sorry, you

32:58

know, go over to your friend's house and

33:00

knock on the door and you're going to

33:01

say sorry for the thing that you did.

33:03

Um we're going to teach kids how to

33:05

resolve conflict. We're going to teach

33:06

kids how to take compliments. We're

33:07

going to teach kids how to take

33:08

accountability.

33:10

And these are all the skills of, you

33:11

know,

33:12

well, what did you do wrong versus what

33:14

did you what did what you know, like

33:16

it's not like

33:18

you know,

33:20

it's not always the school or the

33:21

teacher. Maybe your kid did is

33:23

disruptive, you know? And so

33:25

accountability is a real thing.

33:27

And so I think if we teach those things

33:28

to 10-year-olds and to adults,

33:30

um I think it makes for a better

33:31

society. And the other thing is go learn

33:32

a real skill.

33:33

And I don't mean like that, you know,

33:35

prompting isn't a real skill. That's not

33:37

what I mean. It's what I said before,

33:39

which is it's the excruciating like what

33:42

makes great relationships great is not

33:43

that you get along all the time.

33:45

The best marriages, the best

33:47

relationships,

33:48

they're not absent of conflict. It's

33:50

they know how to resolve conflict

33:52

peacefully.

33:53

By the way, I believe in world peace. I

33:55

don't believe in a world without

33:55

conflict. I believe a world in which we

33:58

can resolve our conflict peacefully

33:59

without the need to go to war to resolve

34:00

conflict. This is why I like democracies

34:02

cuz democracies can solve conflict

34:05

without bullets. So I the human skills

34:07

work, but I say a real skill mean like

34:08

go do something difficult.

34:10

Build something,

34:12

design something,

34:13

imagine something, write something,

34:15

and and and and by the way, I'm totally

34:18

fine even if you plug it into chat GPT

34:20

and say tell me what's wrong with this.

34:21

Your grammar's all screwed up. You know?

34:24

And like I said, I

34:28

I am smarter because I did it.

34:31

I'm

34:32

the reason I'm more confident than when

34:35

I was younger.

34:36

And I think that's one of the things you

34:37

do. People talk about you get wise with

34:38

age. You know, and like and you know,

34:41

you have more confident as you get

34:42

older. And yes, that's all true and

34:44

there's multiple reasons for it. But I

34:46

think one of the reasons is is the

34:48

things that are happening to me now,

34:51

I've gone through those things before.

34:53

They were scary and kept me up at night

34:55

the first time.

34:57

And now,

34:58

I know how to do it. I'm not afraid of

35:01

it anymore. And so, I think what happens

35:03

as you gain experience,

35:05

is you lose fear.

35:08

And if ChatGPT or whatever AI product we

35:10

use does everything for us,

35:12

I think you just end up scared.

35:15

One of the things that I'm contending

35:16

with at the moment,

35:17

with this new technology that's arrived,

35:20

being an entrepreneur,

35:21

seeing this huge opportunity, thinking

35:23

about the dot-com boom, and all the

35:26

great opportunity that that created,

35:29

people talking about the age of

35:30

abundance and all these things, is I'm

35:32

contending with the question on a

35:34

personal level, which is when is enough

35:37

enough? And maybe this question is more

35:38

pertinent now than ever in a world where

35:40

creating stuff, building stuff, starting

35:42

a company, launching a book, the cost of

35:45

creating these things, whether they're

35:46

good or not so good, has gone to

35:48

basically zero.

35:49

Yeah.

35:50

So, we can all theoretically from our

35:52

computers now become movie directors and

35:55

authors and software developers. And so,

35:58

with this possibility, this opportunity,

36:03

and the the thing we need to deploy is

36:05

intention. Like, what do I do? What is

36:07

the thing that's going to lead me to

36:08

happiness? Do I pursue all of these

36:10

things and start building and creating

36:11

and running off down that path to climb

36:13

some ladder?

36:14

Or do I take a second? When is enough

36:16

enough? And as an entrepreneur who is in

36:18

this moment has a lot of resources,

36:20

could roll the dice, could start all

36:21

these new companies, could do all of

36:22

these things,

36:24

when is enough enough?

36:27

No.

36:30

right? Like

36:34

we

36:36

there's something to be said for

36:37

gratitude.

36:39

And if you want to make it money, we

36:40

know the data on this.

36:41

Right? I think once you reach I can't

36:43

remember the number is $70,000 a year of

36:45

income.

36:47

Like you like when you talk about money

36:49

can't buy happiness, like it absolutely

36:51

buys happiness up to a certain level,

36:52

which is survival and then a little bit

36:54

more, you know?

36:56

But once you reach a certain level like

36:57

the there's no discernible increase in

37:00

happiness that comes with money. Now,

37:02

what money buys is options,

37:04

you know? What money buys is time,

37:08

you know?

37:09

Um those things are true, and you you

37:11

said it. Like some of the people that

37:13

you and I know who have

37:15

made generational wealth,

37:19

they're not discernibly happy. The ones

37:21

that are happier were happy before they

37:23

made the money.

37:24

And the ones who thought the money would

37:26

buy them happiness, or worse, the money

37:29

took away their purpose because when

37:30

they made the money they were driven by

37:31

something that they accidentally made

37:33

the money. They built businesses that

37:35

were

37:36

that those were their passions and their

37:37

cause, and then the money came and they

37:40

weren't building the thing anymore, and

37:43

you know?

37:44

This this is the this is the difference

37:45

is like why this

37:47

it's really interesting. It also gets

37:48

the question is why is it that small

37:50

companies are more innovative than big

37:51

companies? Right? Like you think about

37:53

it. When you say what's the secret for

37:55

for innovation? Well, you want to have

37:56

resources, you want to have great

37:57

people, and you want to have great

37:58

market opportunities, and then you can

37:59

have great ideas. Okay. So, big

38:01

companies have tons of money, they hire

38:03

have all the best people, they have

38:04

mature

38:05

marketplaces that people generally know

38:07

who they are, and they're the least

38:09

innovative organizations on the planet.

38:10

Right? Then you have little companies

38:12

that have no money, they're

38:14

bootstrapping it, they don't have enough

38:15

people, nobody knows who they are in the

38:16

[ __ ] market conditions, and yet they're

38:18

more innovative. And then big companies

38:19

innovate by buying the little companies.

38:21

You know, that's basically what happens.

38:23

My exit, your exit, big company can't

38:25

innovate, they just bought you, right?

38:28

Why is that?

38:30

Why is that the rule? And so, it goes

38:32

directly to this, I think. I think the

38:33

reason is is because when you're small,

38:36

your ambitions are bigger than the

38:38

resources you have to achieve those

38:40

ambitions. Every small business has

38:43

outsized ambitions.

38:45

Like beyond

38:46

objectively stupid. Like you look at

38:49

what they have and what they've got and

38:50

you they tell you where they're going to

38:51

be and you're just like,

38:53

"No." And yet some of them do.

38:56

And I think the problem with big

38:57

companies is their ambitions are well

38:58

within

39:00

their their capabilities, their

39:01

resources. In other words, their vision

39:03

isn't big enough.

39:04

And I think your vision has to be bigger

39:06

than the amount of money, resources, and

39:08

intelligence that you have to achieve

39:09

that.

39:10

And what that produces is creativity.

39:14

And so, it goes right back to this,

39:15

which is if if if we can do so much

39:19

with AI,

39:21

then we need bigger visions. And so,

39:24

when you ask me, "How do you find

39:25

happiness?"

39:27

I think that we need to set our sights

39:29

on things that are bigger than finite

39:31

success.

39:33

Um and I think we do need a gratitude

39:35

practice, regardless of how little or

39:37

how much you have.

39:38

To be grateful for what you do have

39:40

is a profound impact. I went through

39:42

this with the LA fires,

39:43

right? The

39:45

I was very lucky that my house survived

39:47

and I didn't have to get evacuated, but

39:49

the evacuations were getting closer and

39:50

closer.

39:52

And

39:53

two things happened that were profound

39:55

that live that I will that live with me

39:57

now. One which is resolvable and one

39:59

which is unresolvable. We were all

40:01

obsessed with this app called Watch

40:02

Duty,

40:03

which is how we tracked the fires. It

40:04

basically took all the publicly

40:06

available information and put it in one

40:07

place in a really amazing way, right?

40:09

Started by this amazing, amazing,

40:10

amazing entrepreneur named John Mills.

40:12

And we were all obsessed with Watch

40:14

Duty. We all were what on this app the

40:16

whole time. And one of the things we

40:17

were watching was the wind.

40:19

Cuz if the wind shifted, it could have

40:21

profoundly impact your life.

40:23

And I remember having this experience

40:25

like we were all watching the wind.

40:27

And the wind went away from me. And I

40:29

thought

40:31

Oh, thank god.

40:32

And in that moment I knew that somebody

40:35

was looking at the app going, "Oh god,

40:36

no."

40:38

And it's not like service where I'll eat

40:40

a little less so that somebody can eat

40:41

more. I'll give up some of my income so

40:42

that somebody has It's not one of those

40:43

I don't want my house to burn down so

40:45

somebody else's house doesn't burn down.

40:46

And I asked I had to live with this

40:48

paradox of how unfair the world is. That

40:51

simultaneously my relief and good news

40:53

was some was somebody else's stress and

40:55

bad news. And there was nothing I could

40:56

do to change that. So that paradox

40:59

I

41:00

it

41:00

is horrible and I It was It was right in

41:02

front of me. So that's one. But it's the

41:04

second part

41:05

which is

41:06

the evacuation zones were coming a

41:07

little closer and they were one zone

41:10

away from where where I live.

41:13

And we didn't know if we were going to

41:15

be woken in the middle of the night with

41:17

a with an alarm to evacuate. We didn't

41:19

know.

41:19

And so we had I had to go through the

41:21

process of packing up my car and making

41:24

my go bag. And I put as much stuff in my

41:26

car as I could. And I had to, you know,

41:27

we all play that game like, "If there's

41:29

a fire and you have to run out and grab

41:30

two things, what would you grab?" I had

41:31

to do that.

41:33

Right? A lot of people in LA had to do

41:34

that. Right? You actually had to make

41:36

the decisions. What am I going to take

41:37

and what am I going to leave behind? And

41:39

I found myself bringing things that I

41:41

never thought were important to me. And

41:43

I found myself leaving things behind

41:45

that

41:46

I thought I would take.

41:48

But the one thing that was amazing

41:51

was stuff that I couldn't fit.

41:52

But I still had love for it like my

41:54

favorite painting in the world. It's

41:55

just I couldn't fit it in my car.

41:58

I stood there in front of it. And I

42:00

said, "Thank you." And I said,

42:01

"Goodbye."

42:03

And it was like saying goodbye to a

42:04

loved one. You know, I hear this, you

42:05

know, somebody loses a parent. They go,

42:06

"Look, it was awful and, you know, he

42:08

suffered as on his deathbed, but I'm

42:10

glad I was with him to say goodbye.

42:13

And it was the most amazing thing to

42:16

have gratitude for something that I

42:17

don't want to lose, but accepted that I

42:21

I might.

42:23

And

42:24

it's made me a lot more disconnected

42:27

from my material things.

42:29

Especially the things I said goodbye to

42:31

cuz I've already said goodbye to them. I

42:32

had had I just sold some of my art for

42:34

for charity.

42:36

And people said, "How did you love your

42:37

art?" I'm like, "I know. Like my art's

42:39

like my babies." Like the how did you

42:41

choose? And I said, "I've already said

42:42

goodbye to everything here. I did it

42:43

months ago."

42:45

You know? And I think this idea of

42:47

gratitude, gratitude for what we have,

42:50

but also

42:52

um like you're going to lose your

42:53

parents.

42:55

All of us will lose our parents.

42:56

Hopefully hopefully hopefully

42:59

uh they don't ever have to say goodbye

43:00

to us, but we if things go well, we're

43:02

going to have to say goodbye to our

43:03

parents.

43:04

And

43:06

we can't be angry about it. We want to

43:08

say thank you for the times we had.

43:11

And I think to have that a level of

43:13

appreciation for everything in our

43:15

lives, how temporary all of this is,

43:18

I think that's it makes you happier. I

43:20

know it sounds

43:22

it's

43:24

it makes you happier to just look at

43:25

someone and be grateful.

43:27

You know, failed relationships,

43:29

you could be angry at the other person

43:31

or you can be grateful for the lessons

43:32

they taught you and or for the good

43:34

times you had.

43:36

And I think to change our minds to

43:37

gratitude,

43:39

and you can you know, it's it sounds

43:40

it's a little bit you know, hippy dippy

43:42

to have a gratitude practice and

43:44

that's fine. You know, if that's your

43:45

thing, lie in bed every night or keep a

43:47

journal and just say the things you're

43:48

grateful for.

43:49

But

43:52

I don't know if it works without an

43:54

evacuation zone approaching.

43:57

I don't know, but to go around your home

43:59

and just say thank you to the things

44:01

that you like

44:03

is a weird thing. How many of us How

44:05

many of us

44:06

When was the last time you called a

44:07

friend out of the blue

44:09

and just said thanks for being my

44:10

friend?

44:12

Like hey

44:13

just wanted to call and just tell you I

44:15

love you. Just tell you thank you. And

44:18

you know

44:20

that's all. No just a quick just 2

44:22

minutes just just want to say thank you

44:23

for being my friend. I think if I said

44:25

that to one of my best friends they'd

44:27

think I was losing my mind or something

44:28

or that something was wrong. They'd be

44:29

so concerned cuz it's such an unusual

44:31

thing for me to Okay. So you can do it

44:33

this way. So I had a guest on the

44:35

podcast and he came up with this thing

44:37

that is so outside of my personality but

44:39

I'm going to try it.

44:41

Yeah that would make sense.

44:41

And you can do that.

44:43

You know?

44:44

I'm I'm new to this. You know I I know

44:47

for years people have been like you

44:48

should have a gratitude practice and

44:49

keep a gratitude journal. And I tried

44:50

it. I was like

44:52

okay

44:53

I'm grateful for my sister, grateful for

44:55

what I've

44:56

for my family, grateful for my friends,

44:58

grateful for the life that I live.

45:01

All right good night. All right next

45:02

day.

45:03

I'm grateful for my sister, grateful for

45:05

my family, grateful for my friends. You

45:07

know and I found it so repetitive

45:10

that I was like is this worth it?

45:12

Like

45:13

sure like every now and then something

45:14

was different and new. And I've come to

45:16

come to the conclusion like

45:18

if it's the same three things every

45:20

single day

45:22

good.

45:22

I was thinking about this a lot the

45:24

other day when someone asked me

45:28

think about all the people in your life

45:30

and imagine if they were sick and

45:31

imagine if you had a billion dollars in

45:32

your bank and the billion dollars could

45:33

cure

45:34

their sickness.

45:37

Like who would you cure it for for?

45:39

Would you would you spend a billion

45:41

dollars to cure your your girlfriend's

45:42

sickness, your your mother's sickness,

45:44

your father's sickness, your

45:46

whatever. Even if it was the the the

45:47

risk to them was was low and you would.

45:50

I'd give every pet penny I had to cure

45:52

an illness that my girlfriend had even

45:53

if the risk was low.

45:55

And as I was thinking through that I was

45:56

like but then if you look at my calendar

45:58

and how I'm allocating my time against

46:00

these individuals and against my

46:01

priorities there's a real imbalance

46:03

here. And over the last couple of weeks

46:04

in particular, I've been on a bit of a

46:05

journey of realizing just how important

46:08

four or five people in my life are.

46:10

I I

46:11

and how much I neglect them.

46:12

Yeah, I mean like of course. I mean

46:14

we're

46:15

only when it's

46:17

and it's you're right. Like it's just if

46:18

you say give a billion dollars and you

46:20

can cure this disease that affects, you

46:21

know, 2 million people, 10 million

46:23

people, you'd be like,

46:24

"Eh,

46:25

I'll give some money, right?" But if it

46:28

was one family member, you would exhaust

46:30

every resource, you would quit your job,

46:32

you would do everything you can

46:33

for a 1% chance.

46:35

for a 1% chance. You know, and people

46:37

do. They quit their jobs when and like

46:40

all so many charities have been started

46:42

because my father died, my mother died,

46:44

my sister died, my brother died, and

46:45

I've devoted my life to duh, right? Like

46:48

like literally that's the reason.

46:49

And it's because it's personal. Of

46:51

course, that makes sense. It's why why

46:53

are some entrepreneurs good and some

46:54

entrepreneurs bad? Well, how personal is

46:56

the thing that you're working on to you?

46:58

Because then I only like to like the

47:00

entrepreneurs that I love,

47:02

I want to know that they are solving a

47:03

problem that they struggled with or that

47:05

somebody they love struggled with or

47:07

something. If they they read an article

47:09

in a magazine, "Oh, this is a great

47:10

market opportunity." There is no passion

47:12

there. That is driven by money

47:14

and power only. I want to know somebody

47:16

that is it's so deeply personal to them

47:18

that they will stop at nothing.

47:21

They will run through a brick wall and

47:22

find every creative solution. And it

47:24

goes right back to the small company

47:26

versus big company. It's it's passion

47:29

and a vision that is bigger than the

47:30

resources that I have.

47:32

Which you know,

47:33

I had a conversation with somebody

47:34

recently actually

47:36

where

47:38

they wanted to

47:39

uh we were we uh

47:41

it was a business problem

47:43

and they wanted to change the goals.

47:46

And I said, "We can't just change the

47:47

goals because they're difficult.

47:49

You know, so we might miss the goal.

47:51

It's true. Yes, we have a very

47:52

aggressive goal and the likelihood of us

47:54

hitting it is incredibly low, but

47:56

why would we lower it?

47:59

And they said to me,

48:00

you know, I don't like to fail, they

48:01

said. I don't like to fail, and I know

48:03

you don't either.

48:04

And I said, ah, that's where you're

48:05

wrong.

48:06

That's where you're wrong. I have spent

48:08

most of my life a failure.

48:10

And I'm very comfortable being a

48:11

failure, and I think of myself not as a

48:13

success.

48:15

I think of myself as a failure. And

48:17

that's because my ambitions are bigger

48:19

than my skills or my ability to achieve

48:21

those ambitions. And so, almost

48:22

everything I've done, with a couple of

48:23

exceptions, have fallen short of what I

48:25

had hoped for.

48:26

I'm very comfortable with that.

48:28

Because failing at 80% is really much

48:31

better than succeeding at 30%.

48:34

And I think this idea of fear of failure

48:37

and embracing failure, I don't want to

48:38

fail.

48:39

But I just

48:41

I I have

48:43

I think it's important to have dreams

48:45

that are beyond your skills or your

48:47

resources.

48:48

Because that's where creativity comes

48:50

from.

48:51

That's where

48:52

resourcefulness comes from.

48:55

You know, when you go, how am I going to

48:56

figure this one out? And you told me the

48:58

stories of your own team.

49:00

You know, it's the resourceful ones. And

49:02

now we go back to AI.

49:04

AI is not going to figure that out.

49:07

Right?

49:08

There's There's data on this. I have

49:09

actually never thought about this. This

49:10

is good. There was a book called Oh, it

49:13

was The Wisdom of Crowds. I think it was

49:15

that one.

49:16

I think it was The Wisdom of Crowds by

49:17

James Surowiecki.

49:18

Where people with experience knew what

49:20

to do versus people who were just

49:22

trained. So, I'll give you the example.

49:24

This is I can't I can't Again, I might

49:25

have the book wrong, but this was I

49:26

remember the case. So, there was a a

49:28

bunch of firemen fighting a fire in like

49:31

the in wildfires, right? And the wind

49:34

picked up, and the fire was coming

49:36

really fast towards these firemen. True

49:38

story.

49:39

And they all started running for their

49:41

lives as this fire was approaching them

49:42

unbelievably quickly. But the problem

49:44

was if they looked ahead,

49:47

there was a small hill, which means

49:49

you're going to slow down cuz you can't

49:50

run fast up a hill. And this fire is

49:52

coming fast, right? The senior guy on

49:56

the on the team started screaming, "Get

49:59

down. Get down. Get down." And they all

50:01

ignored him. They were all running for

50:02

their lives. And he just stopped running

50:04

and got down and put his hands over his

50:07

head and just lay in a ball

50:08

and the fire was going so fast that it

50:10

blew right over him.

50:13

And it caught up with the other guys and

50:14

burned them all to death.

50:17

Now, they didn't teach them that in fire

50:18

school.

50:20

It It was accumulated knowledge of

50:22

wisdom of that came from experience that

50:24

he knew the right thing to do in the

50:25

moment. He was able to read the tea

50:27

leaves in a way and his his gut,

50:31

whatever that means, his gut said the

50:33

right thing to do is to drop down.

50:35

You'll be okay.

50:36

And this is why I'm going to sound like

50:38

a broken record.

50:40

The importance of doing the work

50:42

yourself,

50:43

of writing the book, painting the

50:44

painting, choreographing the dance, you

50:46

know,

50:47

composing the symphony, building the

50:48

business, having the difficult

50:50

conversation, stumbling and bumbling,

50:53

right? The reason for it Like let's say

50:55

you have a fight with your your your

50:56

girlfriend.

50:57

You don't want to be in a fight. You

50:59

don't like being in a fight. You want to

51:00

do the right thing. So, you go to chat

51:02

GPT and you'll be like, "My girlfriend

51:03

and I had a fight. This is what the

51:04

fight was about. Okay? I think I did

51:07

some stuff wrong. I think she did some

51:09

stuff wrong. This is exactly what

51:10

happened. Tell me what to do."

51:12

And you go, "Babe,

51:14

I just want you to know I want to take

51:15

full accountability. I'm really I'm

51:17

really sad that this happened and I want

51:19

you to know that I care about this

51:20

relationship." And she says to you,

51:22

"Did you get this answer from chat GPT?"

51:24

And you go, "I did."

51:27

How's that going to go?

51:29

Right? Now, you did everything right.

51:31

You did everything right.

51:34

You did everything right.

51:36

But for the fact, and it goes right back

51:38

to what you said,

51:39

which is it removed the humanity, it

51:41

removed the personality. It's

51:42

artificial. It's fake. It's everything

51:44

you said about the job interview. It's

51:45

everything you said about all those

51:46

other things, about all the resumes, all

51:48

of the pitch decks.

51:50

It's not you telling me sorry, it's

51:52

ChatGPT telling me sorry. And even

51:54

though you went with good intention to

51:55

get it right, I would rather you get it

51:57

wrong and bumble and fumble it with me

51:59

and be like, "Babe, I don't know how to

52:00

do this. I'm an asshole."

52:02

You know, and then she fights with you

52:04

because you get it wrong and you

52:05

rumble through it together.

52:08

And what happens when you come You've

52:09

had this happen. I know because I have

52:11

and I know anybody everybody has.

52:13

When you come out of the fight, you're

52:15

closer.

52:16

Mhm.

52:16

Not cuz you got it right.

52:18

Because you got it wrong. And if you

52:19

learn the skill

52:22

and you get better and better and better

52:23

and better and you do learn the skill of

52:25

saying the right thing and you do learn

52:26

the skill. She knew it wasn't because

52:27

you asked AI in the moment because you

52:29

just wanted to resolve the problem and

52:31

remove the tension. It's because you

52:33

learned the skill for the time that you

52:35

don't know when it's going to happen

52:36

because you're equipped for this

52:37

relationship.

52:38

Mhm.

52:39

And it's that investment in the

52:40

relationship rather than trying to

52:41

transactionally solve the problem before

52:43

me. And that's the difference.

52:45

Mhm.

52:45

It's infinite versus finite. It's

52:46

transaction versus It's destination

52:48

versus journey. I'm in the journey of

52:51

this relationship versus I have a

52:52

destination. I got to solve this problem

52:54

now otherwise this is going to destroy

52:55

my relationship. And all of this is

52:58

coming full circle. And it comes right

53:00

back to everything we started this. I

53:01

think it's hilarious that you and that

53:03

you're having a conversation with me

53:04

about AI cuz I'm not an AI expert and

53:06

I'm not in the AI business.

53:09

But I I am in the humanity business. And

53:12

I think everything we're talking about

53:13

from every angle we're battle testing

53:15

this idea. And what we can't get away

53:17

from is human beings really want human

53:21

beings.

53:23

And human beings really want human

53:26

experiences.

53:27

Mhm.

53:27

And human beings really want things made

53:29

by human beings. And we are not only

53:31

okay with

53:33

we want imperfection.

53:35

Because imperfection is the sign

53:38

of human.

53:39

I was just thinking about how

53:42

how when I'm in an argument with my

53:44

partner

53:45

if she was perfect, if she was

53:47

completely composed, if she was looking

53:49

at me

53:50

without emotion, without expression, and

53:53

if she was spewing chat GPT-like

53:55

responses back at me

53:58

it would it would be a little bit

53:59

infuriating, but also it would be

54:01

completely dehumanizing as you say. And

54:03

it's funny how actually even in conflict

54:06

I want emotion. I want imperfection. I

54:08

want res- human resonance.

54:10

It's interesting cuz I've been like

54:12

thinking about my

54:12

Struggle is a good thing.

54:14

Yeah.

54:14

And I think in our modern day and age we

54:16

have under

54:18

appreciated and underrepresented the

54:20

value of struggle.

54:22

And if you ask anybody in their life

54:25

you know, tell me about a time in your

54:27

career

54:28

where

54:30

like you felt like boy, this is the most

54:32

amazing thing I've ever done. I'm so

54:33

glad I'm a part of this. It's not the

54:35

big win. It's not the big success. It's

54:37

not we finished everything on time and

54:38

under budget.

54:40

It's oh my god, this one thing went

54:41

horribly wrong.

54:43

Oh my god, it went so badly and yet the

54:45

way we came together like the most

54:48

important thing in my career was when I

54:50

lost my passion and went into deep

54:51

depression. Never want to go through

54:52

that again. Really glad it happened. And

54:55

all of our relationships, professional,

54:57

personal, romantic, whatever they are

54:59

right? All of our relationships

55:01

get better when we go through struggle

55:02

together.

55:03

And we know we know the way the human

55:05

animal works. We know that oxytocin is

55:06

released when you have shared struggle.

55:08

That's why when you put people in boot

55:10

camp and they go through [ __ ] together

55:11

or there's a a natural a national a

55:13

natural disaster. Like all of all of a

55:15

sudden I don't care who you voted for.

55:18

I saw your house blow down in the

55:19

tornado. I got you. Don't worry. We're

55:20

neighbors. Right? Like we can put aside

55:23

all the rational nonsense.

55:26

The the the intellectual nonsense. And

55:27

at the end of the day human beings

55:30

are are are good at helping human

55:32

beings.

55:33

Struggle also in many contexts is the

55:36

value. So when I think about a Simon

55:38

Sinek book, the reason why I value it is

55:41

because I know that Simon Sinek spent

55:43

years writing that thing and pulling it

55:44

together. The reason why

55:46

certain handmade things that we talked

55:47

about earlier are valuable is because of

55:49

the pain and the toil that went into

55:50

them. And when you think about the art

55:51

world and other creations through

55:53

history, the value comes from the fact

55:55

that human beings came together for a

55:57

prolonged period of time

55:58

and did something. And actually, the

56:00

investment is the value. Like the the

56:02

amount that went in the top creates

56:04

value.

56:05

We're not buying the product, we're

56:06

buying the story.

56:07

Yeah. Like the Mona Lisa is

56:09

You're not buying the Mona Lisa. You're

56:10

not buying a piece of art, you're buying

56:11

the story that goes with the art. The

56:13

story that it took to create the art.

56:15

What the artist was going through, what

56:16

they were thinking. You're not buying my

56:18

book, you're buying the story of the

56:20

making of my book.

56:21

And the Mona Lisa was stolen from what I

56:22

understand.

56:23

I mean, we don't even know if the the

56:25

one in the Louvre is the real one.

56:26

Cuz I had mentioned the reason why the

56:28

Mona Lisa is so valuable is because at

56:29

one point it was stolen and then they

56:31

like managed to find it again. And

56:33

actually, it's just a painting, but the

56:35

story of the

56:36

The story is amazing.

56:37

100 million, 200 million, whatever.

56:38

Whatever. I mean, and so this is what we

56:40

figure The reason famous artists are

56:41

famous is cuz you buy the story of that

56:43

artist, not not their talent.

56:46

There's a lot of

56:47

famous singers and actors and painters,

56:49

dancers who are a lot

56:51

less talented than the unknown ones, but

56:53

you buy into the story.

56:55

And this is why some celebrities,

57:00

as much as they talk about the paparazzi

57:02

and the tabloids, they want to be in the

57:04

paparazzi and the tabloids. They want

57:05

the paparazzi to follow them because it

57:06

keeps their story relevant. It keeps

57:08

them, you know, they're worth more

57:10

because they're in the zeitgeist.

57:11

Apple know this better than anybody cuz

57:13

you go to an Apple store and they've

57:15

laid out their products as if

57:18

it was an art gallery.

57:20

The

57:21

3 ft either side of the iPhone create

57:24

the impression in my mind that that this

57:26

is a piece of art and there's only one

57:27

of them. And the fact that they've

57:28

wasted all this space, which I know real

57:31

estate costs money and that must have

57:32

been expensive, pulls into the device

57:35

itself. If I go into an Apple store and

57:37

there was a thousand iPhones, like the

57:38

old electronic stops all stacked on top

57:40

of each other, I would assume the iPhone

57:41

was worth less, but the story, just by

57:43

the frame in which I see it, means that

57:45

oh my god, this thing is

57:46

It's theater. It looks like one of one.

57:48

Yeah, it's theater. And and some would

57:50

call it manipulative,

57:52

but we want things to feel

57:55

valuable. Not just be valuable.

57:57

Right? I could tell you I've got a

57:59

I I can I found a guy who makes cashmere

58:02

jerseys and he uses the exact same

58:04

cashmere as, you know, Loro Piana,

58:06

whatever, some fancy fancy ass brand.

58:09

You know? But the problem is it says

58:11

like Dave's Cashmere Shop.

58:13

You know? I could tell you everything

58:15

about where he sources the cashmere, how

58:17

he makes it, that's the same everything,

58:19

and you'd be like,

58:21

"Yeah,

58:22

Dave's Cashmere Shop?" Because you're

58:24

not buying the cashmere, you're buying

58:26

the brand. You're buying the story,

58:28

you're buying the association. That's

58:29

what's That's why brands have value.

58:33

Because it's irrational.

58:35

Yeah.

58:35

And humans are irrational. And that's

58:38

why companies invest in building brands.

58:41

For the story.

58:42

And so,

58:45

yeah, I I I think I'm

58:47

you know, as much as chat

58:49

AI scares me,

58:50

I still believe the thing that the

58:52

technologist the technologists don't

58:54

appreciate and won't appreciate, and

58:56

there there will be a rebellion.

58:59

And handmade will become more valuable

59:02

and handmade will become more expensive.

59:04

And

59:05

people will want to say that.

59:08

You know, it's like,

59:09

"You had that person write your speech

59:11

for you? You Wait, who did the painting

59:13

for you? They They did it themselves?"

59:15

You know? And I think

59:18

that's good.

59:19

You know, it's a pendulum, right? We're

59:21

going to get enamored with the

59:22

technology until we're until it's

59:24

boring.

59:25

This also just expands generally. I know

59:27

this sounds quite big and we're talking

59:28

about these big things, but just

59:29

everything that you create, it's very,

59:31

very tempting at the moment to just

59:33

create something with AI and throw it up

59:35

on your website, on your social media

59:37

pages, or present it to the world, a

59:38

presentation deck at work. But actually,

59:40

I'm I'm already noticing

59:43

I'm attributing huge value and interest

59:45

in things that I can identify as

59:47

human-made.

59:49

I had a flashback a second ago. So we're

59:51

talking about this idea of scarcity

59:53

to one of my favorite brands in the

59:55

world.

59:56

It's a clothing brand, and I was

59:58

obsessed with this clothing brand. I'd

59:59

spend a huge amount of I don't spend

60:00

money on clothes. I would spend a huge

60:02

amount of money every time they came up

60:03

with a new item. One day,

60:05

the founder of the brand, and everybody

60:07

knows this brand,

60:09

he posted a photo from his factory. It

60:11

was like a series of video.

60:13

And what I saw in the video was the

60:15

shirt I was currently wearing as I

60:17

watched the video in a massive bucket

60:20

with 4,000 others of the exact same

60:23

shirt. And in that moment,

60:25

fell out of love.

60:26

I fell out of love.

60:26

Exactly.

60:27

Because in my head, I'd painted this

60:29

like artisan picture of the of them

60:31

sewing it. These two guys sewing it in

60:33

their bedroom and then like sending

60:34

Probably what it was Probably what it

60:35

was on the ad, too. it was on the ad,

60:36

too.

60:37

I think that's what it kind of like used

60:38

to be. So I still had that image in my

60:40

head.

60:41

Yeah.

60:42

The one thing that I've always

60:43

understood, this is true for businesses,

60:45

this is true for absolutely everything,

60:46

scale breaks things.

60:48

You know, scale breaks things. In the In

60:50

the military, there the special forces,

60:51

special operating forces, Navy SEALs,

60:54

SAS, you know,

60:56

all those folks, right?

60:58

And there's this there's a saying

60:59

in the special forces that's basically

61:02

um special

61:04

you can't scale special.

61:06

Right? So you can take whatever training

61:08

skills, whatever you have for the

61:09

special forces, and you give it to

61:10

everybody, it's not going to work.

61:12

Special can only be small.

61:15

You know? And and so

61:18

scale breaks things. Scale always So I

61:20

mean like

61:21

Microsoft versus Apple, right? So, Apple

61:24

wanted the highest quality operating

61:26

system in the world, right? So, what did

61:27

they do? They They refused to clone,

61:30

right? They wouldn't They wouldn't They

61:31

wouldn't clone their their operating

61:32

system.

61:34

And

61:35

they

61:36

uh as a result of of refusing to

61:40

to do that, they they never at For

61:42

years, Apple had like, in the height of

61:44

the the PC wars, maybe 4% of the world's

61:47

operating systems.

61:48

Microsoft said, "We're happy to clone

61:51

our operating system." So, it was a

61:52

little bit different on Dells, a little

61:53

bit different on IBM. Wherever you use

61:55

it, it was slightly different. And they

61:56

had 90-something percent of the world's

61:57

operating systems.

61:59

It's because you have to trade quality

62:00

for scale.

62:01

Mhm.

62:02

Every time. There's a reason why buying

62:04

fancy goods for a lot of money

62:06

like, because as you said,

62:08

the way you make things has to change,

62:10

and you just have to start making them

62:11

in factories, and you have to

62:12

scale scale scale breaks companies.

62:15

Think about how beautiful companies are.

62:16

The number of companies that talk about,

62:17

"Oh, our company's like a family." Get

62:19

to about 150 people, 200 people, gets to

62:21

Dunbar's number,

62:23

not so much of a family anymore.

62:25

I think B2B marketers keep making this

62:27

mistake. They're chasing volume instead

62:30

of quality. And when you try to be seen

62:32

by more people instead of the right

62:33

people, all you're doing is making

62:35

noise, but that noise rarely shifts the

62:37

needle, and it's often quite expensive.

62:39

And I know, as there was a time in my

62:41

career where I kept making this mistake,

62:43

that many of you will be making it, too.

62:45

Eventually, I started posting ads on our

62:47

show sponsor's platform, LinkedIn, and

62:49

that's when things started to change. I

62:51

put that change down to a few critical

62:53

things. One of them being that LinkedIn

62:55

was then and still is today the platform

62:57

where decision-makers go to, not only to

62:59

think and learn, but also to buy. And

63:01

when you market your business there,

63:03

you're putting it right in front of

63:04

people who actually have the power to

63:06

say yes. And you can target them by job

63:08

title, industry, and company size. It's

63:11

simply a sharper way to spend your

63:12

marketing budget. And if you haven't

63:14

tried it, how about this? Give LinkedIn

63:16

Ads a try, and I'm going to give you a

63:18

$100 ad credit to get you started. If

63:21

you visit linkedin.com/diary,

63:23

you can claim that right now. That's

63:25

linkedin.com/diary.

63:29

Is it harder now to find love? Cuz

63:32

there's lots of stats that say we're

63:33

having less sex, we're lonelier than

63:35

ever before. Um interestingly, this is

63:38

maybe an adjacent point, but I was

63:40

looking at Bumble share price.

63:42

I love

63:44

the founder of Bumble, the CEO is

63:46

really, really good friend of mine. I

63:47

think she's amazing.

63:48

Whitney?

63:48

Whitney, yes. I think she is amazing.

63:50

Has she come on?

63:51

She has. And I know her, and she's a

63:53

wonderful human being. But when I was

63:55

looking at the Bumble share price, it

63:58

painted a really interesting picture

64:00

because then you you overlay that with

64:01

some of these other dating apps, and you

64:03

see I mean this is the

64:05

Well, she's had to come back.

64:06

She's just come back in yet to turn the

64:08

company around. And actually,

64:09

interestingly, I saw her do an

64:10

interview, which is one of these ones

64:11

here, and in the interview she said

64:13

she's going to revamp Bumble

64:14

Yeah.

64:15

to make it not about finding love with

64:16

others, but falling in love with

64:18

yourself.

64:19

Yeah.

64:20

And there's also going to be this dating

64:22

marketplace, but her first objective is

64:23

going to be get people to love

64:24

themselves

64:25

Yeah.

64:26

through coaching and all these kinds of

64:27

things on the app, and then find a

64:29

partner.

64:29

Sure. Yes. I mean, I

64:32

I agree with that. I mean

64:34

it's like it's

64:35

I mean, we're all broken records, right?

64:37

I don't mean that as a like a like we're

64:40

all broken souls. Like

64:42

you know, you your customers will never

64:44

love you until your employees love you

64:45

first.

64:46

You'll never find somebody to love you

64:48

unless you love yourself first. And look

64:50

at failed relationships, right? Where

64:52

there's so much tension, it's somebody's

64:53

lack of self-love that contributes to

64:55

the failing of that relationship. I

64:57

mean, I have a dear friend who's going

64:58

through it right now. She just can't

65:00

find love, and she

65:01

it's it's just

65:03

but

65:04

it's cuz she doesn't love herself, and

65:07

and she knows it, you know, it's a hard

65:09

thing to to So, if Bumble can crack that

65:11

code, more power to him.

65:13

It's It's a But, this is the problem

65:15

with a lot of these things.

65:16

You know, they're common knowledge. We

65:18

just don't do them.

65:19

Everybody knows how to be healthy.

65:21

Everybody knows how to exercise.

65:23

Everybody knows what eating right means.

65:26

Don't do it.

65:28

Because wrong is easier.

65:30

And right takes effort. Everybody knows

65:32

what we're supposed to do in a

65:33

relationship. Everybody knows what we're

65:34

supposed to like

65:36

hold space. Everybody Everybody knows

65:37

philosophically what we're supposed to

65:38

do, but we don't do it. By the way, it's

65:40

the reason why most people I've written

65:41

all these lovely books, and it's the

65:42

reason why most companies don't use

65:44

them. It's because

65:46

my work is like exercise, which is I can

65:48

tell you every single If you want to get

65:50

into shape, "Hey Simon, how do I get

65:51

into shape?" Easy. Every single day work

65:53

out for 20 minutes. Every single day.

65:55

Okay? Can I take the occasional day off?

65:56

Yes, but not too many. Work out every

65:58

single day, and 100% of you will get

66:01

into shape. I know it. 100%. When? I

66:04

don't know, and neither does any doctor.

66:06

And that's my work. Yes, I can

66:08

profoundly help you find

66:10

purpose with Start With Why. I can help

66:12

you build trust on a team with Leaders

66:13

Eat Last. I can help you embrace the

66:15

infinite mindset and have this

66:17

incredible calm in life. And the reason

66:19

most companies won't do it this innova-

66:21

This is a book for innovation, right

66:22

here. You want to know innovate?

66:23

Infinite Game. The reason most companies

66:24

won't do it is because they need it to

66:26

happen by the end of the quarter or the

66:27

end of the financial year.

66:29

It may or may not. I have no clue, and I

66:31

cannot predict that it will or won't.

66:33

It'll work 100%. I just don't know when.

66:35

And the problem is, cuz right back to

66:37

the beginning of this conversation,

66:38

we're all so obsessed with the output.

66:40

We're all so obsessed with the result

66:43

that we've completely ignored the value

66:45

of the journey.

66:46

And people would rather hit the number

66:48

at the end of the year than build a good

66:50

strong company. Think about it. Right?

66:53

If I meet another entrepreneur, when I

66:55

say, "So, tell me about your company."

66:56

Like, "We're hypergrowth. We're a

66:57

hypergrowth company. We're a gazelle."

66:59

Right? Like, show me Then I always say

67:01

the same thing, cuz I'm an ass.

67:04

Can you please give me one article from

67:05

a reputable publication, just one, and I

67:07

don't care the publication that says

67:10

that building a hyper-growth company is

67:12

good for business.

67:13

Just

67:14

one.

67:16

And the answer is you can't, because

67:18

it's not.

67:20

And so, why are we so obsessed with

67:21

high-speed growth? It's because our

67:22

investors want us to be obsessed with

67:24

high-speed growth.

67:25

Right? Or our egos want us to be

67:26

obsessed with high-speed growth. Right?

67:28

And if high-speed growth happens by

67:30

accident, that happens for many of the

67:31

unicorns. Right? It was an accident. I

67:35

think building a good company is better

67:37

than building a fast company. I think

67:38

building a good relationship is better

67:40

than building a fast relationship.

67:42

And we're all so obsessed with speed

67:46

and immediate results.

67:48

Present company included. I've had to

67:50

learn this the hard way.

67:51

Then I think there's something joyful

67:54

and beautiful about

67:56

slowing down,

67:57

saying thank you, re-prioritizing

67:59

friends.

68:01

It's okay. I mean, by the way, cell

68:03

phones and so

68:05

But before cell phones, we went to work,

68:08

and then we went home.

68:09

And we didn't do work at home, because

68:11

we couldn't do work at home.

68:12

Because we didn't have computers at

68:13

home, and we didn't have cell phones or

68:14

people to call us. And so, you did work

68:16

at work,

68:18

and then you left.

68:21

And I remember when cell phones started,

68:23

I remember the advertising. AT&T had

68:25

this campaign

68:26

that they showed people working on the

68:28

beach,

68:29

you know, with their computers. I mean,

68:31

this is like the future, right? And they

68:35

said, "Now,

68:37

um well, I don't remember what was the

68:38

what was the tagline. It was really

68:39

funny. It was like, 'Now you can leave

68:42

work.'"

68:43

Right?

68:45

And that's not what happened.

68:46

Work came with us. We never left work.

68:49

Work came with us wherever This is the

68:50

problem with cell phones and computers

68:51

and the internet, which is we do not

68:54

leave work.

68:55

Work is with us in our pocket

68:58

every day, every vacation, every

69:00

evening, every weekend.

69:02

As you said that, I thought, "Do you

69:03

know what? That's so interesting because

69:05

that kind of means that friction

69:08

creates freedom in that regard, if you

69:10

know what I'm saying." So, the friction

69:11

of not being able to go home

69:13

and tap away on my computer all night

69:16

meant that I had a certain level of

69:17

freedom because I had to kind of wait

69:18

for things, right? So, in the same

69:20

context with AI coming along, now I can

69:21

build software throughout the weekend

69:23

whether the agency's working or not.

69:24

Now, I can build anything I want at any

69:26

time

69:26

Yeah.

69:27

using the phone in my pocket, the

69:29

friction has come down again. And

69:30

therefore, the pressure to do it now

69:32

because I can do it now

69:34

goes up. And this is kind of maybe what

69:36

I was alluding to earlier on in the, you

69:37

know, when I was thinking about how

69:38

you're going to get more stressed and

69:39

more overwhelmed and

69:40

That's good.

69:40

more isolated.

69:41

That's so good. That's so Right, it's

69:43

we're taking work with us. I mean, it's

69:45

like, you know, everybody has a story of

69:47

like where the battery ran out on their

69:48

phone and they ended up having the best

69:50

night. Yeah. Or the internet went out at

69:52

work and they actually got more done.

69:54

Like, you hear these stories all the

69:55

time.

69:56

You know? That that when when we're

70:00

forced not to take work with us,

70:03

forced.

70:04

It takes a bit of time sometimes to

70:06

relax,

70:07

but it's always better because you learn

70:10

to

70:10

stop worrying, stop checking,

70:13

you know?

70:14

You know, and you just I One of the

70:16

things I did,

70:17

I I I can't delete Instagram

70:20

completely as much as I'd love to,

70:22

but I hid it.

70:24

So, you know, you can do that on iPhone.

70:25

You can take it off the It's gone. It's

70:27

hidden. It says hide app. And then I And

70:30

when you go into the search, you know,

70:31

when you go to search, it suggests I

70:32

took it off the suggestions, which most

70:34

people don't even know you could do

70:35

that. So, I took it off the suggestions.

70:36

So, when I go to cuz I realized what I

70:38

was doing is I'm like, when I'm bored, I

70:39

just pick up my phone and I just like

70:41

and then I see Instagram like and I just

70:42

click it like a like a zombie and then

70:44

I'm done for an hour, you know?

70:47

So, I hid it. So, the only time I go to

70:48

Instagram is when I have to go to it and

70:50

I have to type in I N S T, you know?

70:53

And then it pops up and my usage of

70:55

Instagram has plummeted.

70:58

Plunged

70:59

because it has to be intentional.

71:01

And the problem with most social media

71:03

is it's unintentional.

71:05

One of the big things talking about

71:07

community Instagram AI that I think a

71:09

lot about is

71:12

is the

71:14

is the value of in real life community

71:16

going to rise? And I think we might be

71:19

on the precipice of the community

71:22

revolution. I say this because when I

71:24

think about what's going to remain in

71:25

the world where creating things goes to

71:27

zero. Like when you know, once upon a

71:29

time if you made a social network or if

71:31

you made built an app or if you built a

71:34

media a movie or a media company or a

71:36

podcast

71:37

that was half of the job and the other

71:39

half of the job is like getting it out

71:40

there in the world.

71:41

And so now the people that have the

71:43

other half of the job

71:45

which hasn't gone to zero, now have this

71:47

tremendous advantage cuz we can all

71:48

create but we can't all distribute. And

71:50

so having community and building and

71:52

fostering community I think now is one

71:54

of the things that remains. What are the

71:56

values of a community? Like how do I

71:57

build a community?

71:58

Well, I have a definition of community

71:59

and I think we said it before which is

72:01

the community is a group of people who

72:02

agree to grow together.

72:04

Interesting.

72:04

Community is a group of people who agree

72:06

to grow together and I believe friends

72:08

are at least two people who agree to

72:10

grow together.

72:11

In marketing this is the absolute

72:12

obsession at the moment community run

72:14

clubs and brands becoming

72:16

And offline is the new online, right?

72:19

Offline's the new black.

72:21

Like there's a there's a company called

72:22

Clicks and it was started by a

72:25

she's a talented entrepreneur and she

72:27

was in college and she suffered severe

72:28

depression and loneliness and literally

72:31

struggled didn't know how to make

72:32

friends. And

72:34

she

72:36

Oh, I'll just call her by her name. Her

72:37

name is Alix.

72:38

Um but her company Clicks she started it

72:42

to solve her own problem, right? My

72:44

favorite kind of company.

72:46

And basically to help her friends at

72:48

school, quote unquote friends, people at

72:50

school make friends. And she did it by

72:52

taking people offline and taking their

72:53

phones away. And she would come up with

72:55

reasons to come together, whether it was

72:56

running or this or that. Just like it

72:57

didn't matter what the reason was. Come

72:59

and just a reason to come that made you

73:01

that when you saw the ad hung up on a

73:02

piece of paper at college, you know,

73:04

that you'd be like,

73:06

I like

73:08

horror movies, whatever.

73:10

I like baking. I'll go to that. Right?

73:12

Just a trick.

73:14

And then basically just And so she's

73:16

built this business

73:18

predominantly for young people, but it's

73:19

available to everyone, but she's built

73:20

this business to just bring people

73:22

together to meet people

73:24

without phones offline. And she wants

73:26

She has a There's a great irony in it.

73:28

She has an app that she wants people not

73:29

to be on.

73:31

You know?

73:32

And what is it that holds a community

73:34

together? Is it so like sh- We want to

73:36

improve together, so we have to have

73:37

some kind of shared value that we we

73:39

want to improve on,

73:41

presumably.

73:43

It's like a community of runners.

73:44

They're trying to get fit together, or

73:45

they're trying to improve their

73:47

I don't think it matters. I mean, it's

73:48

like it's it's shared shared interests

73:51

is a is a is a way to start a a

73:53

relationship, right? Comic-Con,

73:56

you know, you know, nerdvana, you know,

73:58

Burning Man. All of these

74:00

larger-than-life events, big and small.

74:03

Going to the Going to the Going to the

74:04

football.

74:05

You know, it's like you're everybody's

74:07

friend when you wear the when you wear

74:08

the right when you wear the right

74:09

colors.

74:11

You know? You know, you see people on

74:12

the on on the tube who's going to to go

74:14

to the same game. They're wearing the

74:15

same jersey.

74:16

You're friends, yeah.

74:17

You're friends, right? So, I think

74:19

common interest is a is a is a trick.

74:21

It's a way of getting people to come

74:22

together, and it's a nice place to start

74:24

cuz at least conversation is easy.

74:26

Mhm.

74:26

Right? You know at least one thing about

74:27

this person that you have in common with

74:28

them.

74:29

Do you need a shared goal in a

74:30

community, do you think? Thinking cuz in

74:32

the football analogy, we have a shared

74:34

goal.

74:34

Oh, yeah, you want to win. I think

74:35

that's a very good question. You have a

74:36

shared goal.

74:37

Even in a relationship.

74:38

Yeah, I think so. That seems to make

74:40

sense.

74:41

The reason why I'm asking these

74:42

questions is I am building businesses

74:44

and brands, and I know that community is

74:46

one of the most important things that

74:48

everyone building a brand or business is

74:49

thinking about at the moment. So,

74:52

there's a big difference between having

74:53

an audience,

74:54

which is what you might have on like a

74:55

podcast or something, and having a

74:57

community.

74:59

And I'm as a brand leader and as an

75:01

entrepreneur, I'm trying to shift from

75:02

having an audience over to having a

75:04

community. And that's about like

75:06

relationships and

75:07

Shared values.

75:08

Shared values.

75:09

I mean,

75:13

I like to think the people who

75:15

really like my work, not the ones who

75:16

just like passively like it, but the

75:17

ones who really like my work.

75:20

Like if somebody says, "I love Start

75:22

With Why."

75:23

Or "I live my life by the Infinite

75:25

Game."

75:26

That

75:27

it says something about who they are and

75:28

how they see the world and that we share

75:30

the same values.

75:32

And that if

75:33

And

75:34

because I am, you know me, you know I'm

75:36

an idealist.

75:38

And

75:39

And my I

75:41

I'm consistent in the way I talk about

75:43

things from the day I started to to now.

75:45

Won't ever change.

75:46

And

75:48

And I think that's the value of values.

75:50

And the problem with the modern world we

75:52

live in and the pressures that people

75:54

face is money and fame and all the rest

75:56

of it and, you know, influencer status.

75:58

I think it sometimes forces us to

76:00

question our values or walk away from

76:02

them. I was invited to a a group of they

76:05

called it a mastermind group. It was a

76:06

bunch of folks like me, author speakers,

76:08

who wanted to This is what they told me,

76:09

come together to based on shared shared

76:11

goals,

76:12

shared values, how we can work together

76:15

and improve the world together. And I'm

76:16

like, "Oh, sign me up. I'm in, right?"

76:18

So, I went and we sat around and you

76:20

know who some of these people are, you

76:22

know?

76:23

And we sat around a room and they spent

76:26

all of their time talking about how they

76:27

can share their lists with each other

76:29

and how they can cross promote with each

76:30

other and what margins are you getting

76:32

on this? And I'm like,

76:34

"You guys are And I spoke up. I was

76:36

like, you guys are just talking about

76:37

making more money.

76:38

I What I thought we came here to like

76:41

do common good together.

76:43

They didn't invite me back.

76:45

But it was but the point is is like

76:48

the money and the fame is seductive, you

76:49

know? This is this is this is this is

76:51

Joseph Campbell's hero's journey, which

76:53

is you start off as the reluctant hero,

76:56

and you get called to your mission for

76:58

some reason,

76:59

and at some point in your journey, there

77:02

will be

77:04

something to seduce you away from your

77:05

mission, money or power.

77:07

You know, Luke Skywalker was nearly

77:09

seduced away

77:10

from the vision, you know?

77:12

From the journey. Like this is what this

77:14

is what the hero has to go through.

77:16

And

77:17

do you have the friends who will slap

77:19

you around and keep you in line and say,

77:21

"No, you signed up for this. You have to

77:24

stay true to what you're doing." Because

77:25

I think none of us have the courage or

77:26

the strength to stay true to our cause

77:29

by ourselves. Very few of us. We need to

77:31

have at least one person who believes in

77:32

us

77:33

to give us the strength to stick to it.

77:35

Because the temptation the temptation

77:37

you and I have both at various times

77:38

gone through it. Like when you start

77:39

making money and you start making money

77:41

for something you didn't expect. Like I

77:43

never expected to have a career from any

77:45

of this stuff, right? It happened by

77:46

accident.

77:48

And you get to the point where you start

77:50

thinking you're more important than you

77:51

are.

77:52

Do they know Do they Do they know who I

77:54

am?

77:56

No. No.

77:57

Get over yourself.

77:58

You know?

77:59

And you start becoming seduced. And I

78:02

think the seduction when we turn on

78:04

social media and we watch Kardashian

78:07

the Kardashian model

78:08

and like you have people who pursue

78:10

influence without knowledge or skill.

78:13

Like those two buckets. They have the

78:15

other three buckets, but they don't have

78:16

the first two buckets.

78:17

And it is temporary for some

78:20

or unfulfilling for others.

78:22

And you know, the funny thing about that

78:25

job, you know, I was I was I went to a

78:27

concert.

78:28

And

78:29

there was this

78:31

this woman who walked down the aisle and

78:32

some guy was taking pictures of her as

78:33

she was posing. And the person next to

78:35

me goes, "She's a famous influencer."

78:38

And I said, "You mean she's a freelance

78:40

employee of an algorithm?"

78:46

And

78:48

And there's somebody who chooses to be

78:49

an influencer, that's what you are. You

78:51

are a freelance employee of an

78:52

algorithm. And the minute they change

78:54

the algorithm, you might be out of

78:55

business.

79:00

Uh

79:01

You just lost like 170 followers.

79:04

I mean

79:05

Maybe.

79:06

You just lost like 170 blue ticks.

79:08

But

79:09

Like I don't have a problem with the

79:11

concept of being an influencer if you

79:12

bring something of value.

79:14

The only time I have a problem with it

79:16

is is if you make it about you.

79:19

And I have to get more of everything. In

79:21

the early days of influencing

79:23

there was a young couple that were

79:25

trying to get followers, and they would

79:27

do crazier and crazier things.

79:29

And so

79:30

Shh. What they did is he took a dick a

79:32

big book, a dictionary I think it was,

79:34

and he put it over his chest, and she

79:35

took a gun and shot it at the book

79:38

thinking that the book would stop the

79:40

bullet. And she killed him. She killed

79:42

him on camera.

79:44

Right? Now

79:46

They admitted She admitted afterwards

79:47

she he's dead, but she admitted

79:48

afterwards they were doing it to do

79:50

bigger and crazier stunts to get more

79:51

and more followers because the financial

79:52

pressures of driving at those YouTube

79:54

views

79:55

was overwhelming.

79:57

And so it's an extreme case, obviously,

80:00

of the the the the the

80:02

how we will lose our minds trying to

80:04

gain followers.

80:06

And I don't mind if people gain

80:07

followers by giving.

80:10

But to gain followers by taking, look at

80:12

me, look at me, look at me.

80:13

Versus I have something that I think

80:15

this will help you.

80:17

And

80:18

like there's not there's no I don't have

80:19

a problem with

80:21

what it's it's the it's the input,

80:23

right? It's the intention.

80:25

Um

80:27

Anyway. Anyway, it's not like an old man

80:30

complaining about No, but

80:32

You kids these days and your

80:33

influencers.

80:34

So, I'm going to print it off some

80:35

graphs which I think are absolutely

80:36

fascinating and dovetail into everything

80:38

you said today, but also into your work

80:40

generally. So, I'm just going to give

80:41

you all of these to give you a second to

80:43

look through them. And I want to get

80:44

your read and interpretation on them.

80:46

Okay.

80:49

Adults lack of meaning and purpose

80:50

overall only let's just say

80:53

Okay.

80:54

I mean, that makes sense.

80:56

To me, that didn't make sense. I

80:57

couldn't understand how if someone is

81:01

low in purpose, then they are lonelier.

81:05

I mean, it just makes sense that when

81:06

you have

81:08

lack of purpose

81:09

the likelihood that loneliness comes

81:11

nearby.

81:12

Like I think family gives meaning,

81:14

friends give meaning. Like you feel like

81:15

you're there for someone else.

81:17

Um but if you don't know why you're

81:18

showing up every day, I think it it it

81:20

it feels like a lonely existence. Like

81:22

you feel like you're searching. When you

81:23

have a sense of purpose, it gives you a

81:25

mechanism to meet people. It gives you a

81:27

mechanism to make decisions. It gives

81:28

you a mechanism to talk about yourself

81:29

in a way that's quite inspiring to

81:30

others. You know, when you say your why

81:32

and you somebody says, "So, what do you

81:33

do?" You say, "I wake up every single

81:35

day to inspire people to do what

81:36

inspires them. What do you do?"

81:38

You know? Like it's

81:41

it's I yeah, I do I do and I think it's

81:44

it's not the thing that makes you less

81:45

lonely. I think it's a mechanism to make

81:47

you less lonely.

81:48

Just as you said that, that why you just

81:50

gave, it becomes a magnet for me.

81:52

Yeah.

81:52

Because then I know who your people are

81:54

and I know what to talk to you about and

81:55

it throws down this bridge for me to

81:57

walk across.

81:57

Yeah. Versus, yeah, I'm a dentist.

82:01

Or I don't know.

82:02

Which is even worse.

82:03

Which is even worse.

82:04

Yeah.

82:04

Yeah. So, so yeah, that that doesn't

82:06

seem unusual. Distribution of people

82:08

feeling lonely worldwide by gender.

82:11

So, it's about 50/50.

82:12

Mhm.

82:14

Are you surprised by that? I thought

82:16

for some reason I thought men would be

82:17

more lonely.

82:19

Not at all lonely looks like women do

82:22

better.

82:25

I would think Do you think you thought

82:26

men were more lonely?

82:27

I thought

82:27

men would be more lonely.

82:29

I also don't know what the age groups

82:30

are. Cuz like

82:32

I want to know what how they like what

82:33

age are they to start are they starting

82:35

at? Is it 18?

82:37

I guess that if we just put that all

82:38

aside, I mean women being slightly less

82:40

lonely

82:41

than men

82:43

I think makes sense cuz I think women

82:45

are probably better at

82:47

making friends. Maybe I have that wrong.

82:49

What else we got here? Adults mental

82:50

health health ratings.

82:52

68% of people who have depression are

82:54

lonely and 67% of people who have

82:55

anxiety are lonely.

82:58

Do you think good mental health is a

82:59

foundation for being

83:02

uh not lonely, I guess.

83:04

No.

83:04

I think having somebody who cares about

83:06

you is a foundation for not being

83:08

lonely.

83:09

And when you're in a period of strained

83:11

mental fitness

83:13

it definitely can manifest as loneliness

83:15

and anxiety.

83:17

And the best way to manage through that

83:19

period of

83:20

is to lean on the people who you know

83:22

love you. That will help.

83:24

So I don't think you can separate the

83:26

two. So does it affect it? Of course it

83:28

affects it.

83:29

Can it make you withdraw from your

83:30

friends? Of course it can.

83:33

Um

83:35

So

83:36

I don't think you can separate the two.

83:37

I read um a couple of years ago that

83:39

when people are lonely, they fall into a

83:42

state of self-preservation because of

83:44

some evolutionary

83:45

uh sort of mechanism which meant that if

83:47

we were alone on the

83:49

Serengeti in Africa

83:51

we would sleep worse, we'd become more

83:53

selfish, we'd become more angry.

83:55

Cortisol levels would be up, which means

83:56

more inflammation. And this idea of

83:58

self-preservation basically means that

83:59

lonely people become more selfish, more

84:00

bitter, more angry. And that that's not

84:03

conducive, ironically, with finding more

84:05

friends, but it is conducive with

84:06

survival.

84:08

It is conducive with being able to fend

84:09

for yourself.

84:10

it's more conducive survival as an

84:12

individual.

84:13

Yeah.

84:13

So like if you're on a deserted island

84:15

Mhm.

84:16

and you're lonely and all those things

84:18

and the cortisol rises and you become

84:20

better at

84:21

being on edge.

84:22

Being on edge, which is a survival

84:24

mechanism, right?

84:25

Mhm.

84:25

But, if you live

84:27

in a community with other people, then

84:28

it is counterproductive, because we are

84:31

social animals. And I need you to help

84:33

me, and you need to help me.

84:35

So, if we live in tribe together, and

84:37

I'm the selfish [ __ ] I'm not going

84:40

You're not going to wake me and alert me

84:41

to danger tonight.

84:42

Mhm.

84:43

You're just going to leave me. So, so

84:45

it's a it's a it's a Though I think it's

84:46

100% true,

84:48

in a social environment, it becomes

84:50

counterproductive. And I think you're

84:51

right. When somebody feels lonely, they

84:53

do go into survival, and they become

84:54

paranoid, and they think everybody's out

84:55

to get them, and it's But, the problem

84:57

is is you don't live on a desert island.

84:59

And that's one of the reasons I think

85:00

it's up it's dangerous.

85:02

We're increasingly being living on on

85:04

islands. The islands are different now.

85:06

They're four walls in a in a white city.

85:08

And um

85:10

it's so funny that so many of my friends

85:11

are using this word loneliness.

85:14

When 10, 20 years ago, it wasn't it

85:16

wasn't something that I had frequently

85:17

from

85:18

from adults. But, now it seems to be

85:19

also common. In fact, my masseuse

85:21

yesterday was saying to me that

85:24

she's lonely.

85:25

And this is a woman that lives in Los

85:27

Angeles,

85:29

has people around her, but she's lonely.

85:31

Yeah.

85:31

And I remember when she went, and she's

85:33

cuz we had a conversation on our text,

85:34

and said, "Oh, thank you for for being

85:35

so open and stuff." I was thinking about

85:37

like what advice I could give her. She's

85:39

got no friends. She's in Los Angeles.

85:41

She's desperate for friends. She doesn't

85:43

have a partner anymore, cuz she's had a

85:44

divorce. What advice do you give

85:46

someone? Is it take more risks?

85:48

So, it's it's too it's easy to give the

85:50

obvious advice. Like, you got to put

85:51

yourself out there, right? But, when

85:53

you're in a period of loneliness and

85:54

stress, it you it's hard to find that

85:56

that energy and that risk-taking, right?

85:58

Especially when you're down on yourself.

86:00

We've all been there. I've definitely

86:01

been there. But, the

86:03

um I think for me, what I've learned is

86:06

um to put myself second. Meaning, don't

86:07

worry. Don't try and solve solve my

86:09

problem. But, do I have somebody else

86:10

who's lonely that I can help?

86:12

Like, how do I help somebody else who's

86:13

dealing with their loneliness?

86:15

And it's the act of service that is so

86:17

valuable.

86:18

If, you know, you guys are talking and

86:19

she has many clients and somebody else

86:21

like and her willing to admit that I'm

86:23

lonely, that one of her clients might

86:25

say,

86:26

"You know, me, too." Like, her ability

86:28

to admit her loneliness out loud creates

86:29

a safe environment for somebody else to

86:31

admit the same. And then once she learns

86:33

that they're lonely, now she can say,

86:35

"Tell me about it." And then she can

86:36

talk them through it and then hold space

86:38

for them. And her ability to help

86:40

somebody else manage or understand their

86:42

loneliness will will help her.

86:44

So interesting cuz one of the hallmarks

86:45

of her personality, if you met this

86:47

person, something she says to me every

86:48

single time she comes over

86:50

for the treatment, is that she doesn't

86:53

like sharing herself with people because

86:55

she thinks if people get to know her,

86:56

they'll change. So literally, she's been

86:58

my masseuse for many years now and

87:01

If people get to know her, they will

87:03

change?

87:03

She's scared about people knowing how

87:05

She's scared about people knowing the

87:06

details of her life, so she guards it

87:08

all. And it's it took me and I'm someone

87:10

that just asks way too many questions of

87:12

every stranger I meet.

87:14

It took me like 20 sessions just to

87:16

figure out she had a family. I had no

87:18

idea she had two kids. Took me She goes

87:20

And when I asked her, her body language

87:22

went like this.

87:25

"Yes, I have kids." And I was like,

87:27

"Why? Why are you so guarded with your

87:28

information?" "Well, if people knew who

87:30

really I really am and they knew more

87:31

about me, then they'll change or

87:34

um they may not like me anymore or

87:35

they'll think differently about me, so I

87:36

just keep it to myself."

87:37

But I mean, this is the age-old problem.

87:39

I mean, it's everything you said when

87:40

you when people who are driven only by

87:41

the thing that they want, you know,

87:42

versus the givers. And this

87:45

I mean, this is the age-old problem,

87:45

which is I'm never going to I'm going to

87:46

keep my walls up high. I never want to

87:48

love anybody because then I'll get hurt.

87:49

And then you just end up lonely and

87:50

hurt.

87:51

And this is This is goes This This is

87:53

goes back to struggle, which is

87:55

This goes Look, you and I both know that

87:58

uh that if somebody who chooses to go on

88:00

an entrepreneurial venture or adventure,

88:02

the statistics bear out that the

88:05

over 90% of all new businesses will fail

88:07

in the first 3 years.

88:09

Right? What idiot would ever start a

88:11

business? Right? You have to be

88:12

compelled by something

88:14

else to make you do something with

88:16

overwhelming

88:17

statistical chance of failure. Right?

88:20

And and it's opening yourself up to

88:22

failure

88:23

that is the thing that makes it work.

88:25

Mhm.

88:26

You know?

88:27

At least for a small small percentage.

88:29

Of course.

88:30

But it's the same for love, which is

88:32

or relationship or friendship, which is

88:35

it absolutely comes with risk. There's

88:37

nothing riskier. Like, yeah, they will

88:39

they some of them might change. Yes.

88:41

Some of them might not like you for that

88:44

Yes. Yes.

88:47

And the odds are equal that somebody

88:48

will fall in love with you and love you

88:50

and like you and think you're the best

88:51

thing and think you're amazing. And so,

88:53

if you can't take the risk, you can't

88:55

get the reward. If you don't play the

88:56

lottery, you don't win the you know, you

88:57

don't win the jackpot. If you aren't

88:59

willing to take I'm not telling you to

89:01

open up and tell everybody your deepest

89:02

darkest secrets.

89:04

But if you're not willing to give

89:05

somebody anything to latch on to to be

89:07

like if you can't give them anything to

89:09

to say, "Me, too."

89:12

Mhm.

89:12

then

89:15

then it's going to be a hard road. Or

89:16

it'll take somebody to chip away at you

89:19

20 times. You know? To before you open

89:21

up. But

89:22

but the fact that you did and she got it

89:24

to open up a little bit,

89:26

she could make a friend in you.

89:27

Now she's fully open and we've been

89:29

through everything. I know why she wants

89:30

the house to be on the list.

89:31

you go. You see?

89:32

That thing down

89:33

have to point out to her that this

89:34

friendship and that you know so much and

89:36

that she feels so safe with you only

89:38

happened

89:39

because

89:41

um you chipped away at her and she

89:43

finally wore her down and she opened up.

89:46

And it can happen in two directions,

89:47

right? Which is

89:48

sometimes we have to take the little

89:50

risk to just tell somebody some a little

89:51

something about ourselves to find

89:54

something. Or sometimes it's somebody

89:56

who's so curious about us that they chip

89:58

away and chip away and chip away and

89:59

chip away and chip away until we give up

90:01

and open up and they that person becomes

90:02

a friend.

90:03

Mhm.

90:03

You know? And so one of the reasons she

90:06

should be grateful for the friendship is

90:07

you kept trying. You could have just

90:08

tried it three times and be like,

90:09

"Forget it. I'll just lie here quietly

90:10

and have a massage." You know?

90:13

So,

90:14

yeah, I mean, all of this stuff comes

90:16

with risk.

90:17

I could see it in her face, though. I

90:18

could see

90:19

But, you're also curious.

90:21

Yeah, I could see this

90:22

lucked out because you're curious about

90:23

people.

90:25

Is this what connection is? You when you

90:27

said me, too. Finding something to say

90:28

me, too with someone. Is that the

90:31

essence of what like connection is?

90:34

I mean, that I can mean, it could be

90:36

values, it could be interests, it could

90:37

be many things. But, I think to find

90:41

I think, yes. Like, this is I mean, if

90:43

you want to go political,

90:45

you know, one of the problems in our

90:48

politics is both sides think they're

90:50

right and both sides think the other

90:52

side is wrong.

90:53

And neither side is willing to try to

90:56

even understand what the other person's

90:58

point of view is without thinking them

91:00

an idiot or thinking them wrong or

91:01

thinking them sheeple.

91:03

And

91:04

the ability to say, "Can you tell me

91:06

more about how you came to your beliefs?

91:08

I'm genuinely curious."

91:10

And to not agree or disagree,

91:13

but to be curious, to be an

91:15

investigator, you know? And I and I've

91:19

done this with people who have polar

91:21

opposite political views with me.

91:23

At some point, we will get to a level of

91:26

me just chipping away trying to

91:27

understand that they will say something

91:29

that I'm like, "100% I agree with that."

91:32

And then from that point on, there's a

91:34

there's a simple validation, not

91:36

agreement,

91:37

but a validation that your opinions do

91:39

matter and we do have common ground that

91:41

we can build from there. And on that on

91:43

that validation, they become vastly more

91:45

open to my point of view, also, and

91:47

curious to my point of view, also.

91:49

And so,

91:51

yeah, the person the person like

91:53

the ability to listen and be curious,

91:54

even if you disagree,

91:56

is one of the most underappreciated

91:58

skills on the planet. And yeah, I think

92:00

when you find

92:01

the ability to say, "I agree."

92:02

then you can find community you can and

92:04

maybe that's what we need to heal this

92:06

country or most of the countries in the

92:08

world right now, which is one group or

92:11

one person

92:13

to just be curious rather than agree or

92:15

disagree.

92:15

There's something about relationships

92:17

here as well because my girlfriend is

92:18

you've met my partner and um she's very

92:20

spiritual but also like all of us she's

92:23

emotional. So sometimes in those

92:24

interactions when we sit down and

92:26

there's a problem and we spend the first

92:28

60 minutes to 90 minutes trying to

92:29

figure out what the problem is, it

92:31

doesn't sound very logical to me.

92:33

And one of the things that I think

92:35

sort of is adjacent to what you're

92:37

saying is my job in that moment actually

92:39

isn't to like pass through truth and to

92:42

figure and to correct truth.

92:45

It is to sit and let someone

92:48

get it out.

92:48

Get it out.

92:50

So you and I have the same problem.

92:52

Yeah, we do.

92:53

Which is we live above our necks.

92:55

Yeah.

92:56

And you and I both have the same

92:57

struggle which is to learn to live below

92:59

our necks.

93:00

Right? Like you and I are head people.

93:02

And we have to learn to be more heart.

93:04

Mhm.

93:05

Right? And I want to understand

93:06

everything, explain everything,

93:07

you know, evaluate everything, analyze

93:09

everything. And when I come to my

93:11

emotions I'll give you an analysis.

93:13

You know, when it comes to your emotions

93:14

I'll give you an analysis. And so I have

93:16

to learn to be like I feel this

93:19

and that's it. And I feel the same way.

93:21

It's funny because I'm good at it with

93:22

art. You know, I always tell people you

93:23

don't have to understand art. I'll take

93:24

you to museum, I'll take you to gallery

93:26

and if you look at a piece

93:28

and I know you're intimidated come

93:29

because you don't understand art or you

93:31

don't understand music, whatever it is.

93:32

And all you need to do, this is the only

93:34

rule is

93:35

do you like it?

93:36

I do.

93:38

Why? I don't know, I just like it.

93:40

That's it. You're done.

93:42

You're done.

93:43

I don't like it. Why? I don't know, I

93:44

just don't like it. Great.

93:46

Excellent. And now we're going to look

93:47

at four, five, six, 10 pieces that you

93:49

like and I'm going to see four, five,

93:51

six, 10 pieces that you don't like. And

93:52

I'll be like

93:54

you like all of the impressionists and

93:56

you hate all the old masters. So, why

93:58

don't we just go see more

93:58

impressionists?

93:59

Mhm.

94:00

You know? And so, when when your

94:02

girlfriend opens up to you, you know,

94:05

you don't have to agree, you don't have

94:06

to disagree. You just have to And you

94:07

and I both have to learn to stop

94:09

thinking

94:10

and to just

94:12

like feel something. When somebody says,

94:13

"Where do you feel it?" I'm like, "What

94:14

That's the stupidest question I've ever

94:16

heard. Where do I feel it?"

94:17

And they've literally like I've had

94:18

somebody take me on this journey, and

94:20

she goes "You told me an emotion you

94:21

have, Simon.

94:23

You told me an emotion." Yes.

94:25

"Where do you feel it? In your body,

94:27

where do you feel it?"

94:29

And I'm sitting there going

94:31

"You've got to be kidding me."

94:33

You know?

94:34

But all right, we'll go through this.

94:37

All right. And she says, "So, you said

94:39

you feel X." I'm like, "Yes." "All

94:41

right, where in your body did you have

94:42

some sort of reaction?" I

94:44

here. "What happened?"

94:47

It got a little tighter in my chest.

94:49

"Okay." And I went on this journey with

94:52

my friend

94:54

with my friend Bea Bea Oche. She's

94:56

she's incredible.

94:58

And she took me on this journey, and she

95:01

does repair with couples, and she's just

95:02

incredible.

95:04

And she helped me recognize that my body

95:06

does react to my feelings.

95:08

Tension in my shoulders,

95:11

heavy breathing in my chest,

95:14

clenching my fists, you know?

95:16

Like my body does react.

95:17

Mhm.

95:18

And so, I'm learning to experience

95:21

feelings beneath my neck, when my

95:24

inclination is to do everything above

95:26

above the neck.

95:27

It's a hard skill.

95:28

Oh my god, it's hard. And so, I have

95:29

men.

95:29

And so, when you're when you meet

95:31

spiritual people, they are all below the

95:33

neck.

95:35

And

95:36

we think it's stupid,

95:38

but they recognize that we have an

95:40

ability to feel because we want to think

95:42

about everything.

95:43

And so, we both have a lot to learn from

95:45

each other, which is there Thinking

95:47

about things has value.

95:48

Not all the time.

95:50

And so, your girlfriend And I cuz I know

95:53

her

95:53

her ability to

95:56

know her body when she has feelings

95:59

I think is way more

96:00

is has a lot of value to you and to me.

96:03

I think it's like the biggest

96:03

opportunity that I have to form

96:05

relationships. Yeah.

96:06

Change in number of posts for automation

96:08

prone jobs

96:10

compared to manual intensive jobs.

96:12

So this is a graph that shows the drop

96:14

in job postings online for jobs

96:19

around automation.

96:21

It's yeah, the not knowledge work is

96:23

going to get hammered by AI. Um

96:28

I met a guy in Japan

96:31

who

96:32

he's one of the very few

96:34

guys left like a hundred of them left

96:36

150 of them left who make samurai swords

96:39

in the traditional samurai sword way you

96:41

make them you hammer the metal and he

96:43

folds his own metal and he makes

96:44

samurai swords they made them the way

96:46

they made them 200 years ago.

96:48

And we went to this little workshop.

96:50

And he's this little old guy

96:52

and he's telling us the story

96:55

like how did you do this? He's like well

96:56

I had a desk job I worked in a company

96:57

and I woke up one day I was like

96:59

I can't do this. Like this is this can't

97:01

be my life.

97:03

And I did I've always been enamored by

97:05

sword making so I found an

97:06

apprenticeship

97:08

and tried to learn

97:10

and you know I'm I I'm just starting to

97:13

get the hang of it and but I have a lot

97:15

of room for improvement. And we're like

97:17

how long have you been doing this? He

97:18

said 30 years.

97:20

But that's so Japanese. You know the

97:22

Japanese like they'll never be good at

97:23

this I'll just keep working at it. And

97:25

and like it's such hard work.

97:28

But he

97:30

I think there's something to be said for

97:32

I think a lot of us

97:34

like think about how many white

97:35

knowledge workers like ask them what

97:37

their hobbies are.

97:39

You know?

97:42

And like maybe there is an opportunity

97:44

to learn a skill.

97:46

I mean look at look at look at lockdown.

97:48

We all went through lockdown.

97:50

I mean, what skill did you practice

97:51

during lockdown? What did you learn?

97:53

DJing, running,

97:55

cycling.

97:56

DJing.

97:57

DJing.

97:59

Right?

98:00

I did Kintsugi.

98:02

It's the Japanese art of fixing broken

98:04

things with gold.

98:06

So, basically, you take a broken plate

98:08

or broken cup and you put it together

98:10

and with gold paint or gold epoxy, you

98:14

put it together and you make it The

98:15

whole concept is

98:16

you can make something more beautiful

98:19

like things can get more beautiful after

98:20

they're broken, right? I love the

98:22

philosophy of it.

98:23

I spent hours doing freaking Kintsugi.

98:25

Ask me how much Kintsugi I've done since

98:27

we came out of lockdown.

98:28

How much DJing have you done?

98:30

Zero.

98:33

And so, maybe all this free time

98:36

that we're supposed to get, which I

98:38

still don't think will happen,

98:40

maybe it's not such a bad thing.

98:43

Think about the joy you had DJing. I had

98:44

so much fun doing Kintsugi. I had so

98:46

much fun. I would spend hours just my

98:49

head down, focused. I was so

98:52

relaxed,

98:53

not thinking about work. So, why why

98:55

That's the other question. Peop- We're

98:57

talking about how we're all going to

98:59

have all the spare time. We've lost all

99:00

of our spare time. We have no spare time

99:03

because all we do is work and think

99:04

about work and talk about work. Like

99:07

if we go back 40 years, 50 years, there

99:09

was plenty of spare time. And people

99:11

went bowling and they went to the movies

99:13

and they went over to each each other's

99:14

houses for dinner and they cooked.

99:19

Isn't it a good thing that we're

99:22

getting time back? You know, a lot of us

99:25

got a lot of good things out of

99:27

lockdown.

99:28

And that's extreme. So, like, maybe

99:32

maybe it's okay that we get some time

99:34

back cuz it sounds like we've lost all

99:36

of our own time.

99:37

It fixed the loneliness. You have space

99:38

for relationships.

99:39

You'd have space for relationships.

99:40

You'd have space to try things. And we

99:42

couldn't bury ourselves in work and

99:43

escape from our lives that we hate by

99:46

just burying ourselves in work. Like,

99:49

maybe maybe AI doing some of the work

99:52

for us is the thing we've been desperate

99:54

for for the past 30 years.

99:58

Just saying.

100:01

This is quite embarrassing for me to

100:03

admit, but if you know me well, there's

100:05

something that you know about me, which

100:06

is a function of my personality, and

100:08

that is that I lose everything. I've

100:10

lost my wallet, I've lost multiple

100:11

passports. I now actually have two

100:13

passports because there's a high

100:14

probability of me losing one. And when

100:16

you lose your wallet overseas, as I have

100:17

many times, it's a particular

100:19

inconvenience because you also lose your

100:20

driving license and your credit cards

100:22

and those kinds of things. And that's

100:23

why I'm so happy that our show sponsor

100:25

Ekster have invented this thing I have

100:27

in my hand. They have partnered with

100:29

Apple's Find My technology. So, all I

100:31

have to do is open that app and play a

100:34

noise, and it will tell me where my

100:35

wallet is. Ekster wallets are slim,

100:38

they're made of recycled aluminum, and

100:40

they block various types of digital

100:42

theft. And with one click, your cards

100:44

can pop up and are ready to go. So, if

100:47

this sounds like the kind of thing you

100:48

or a friend needs, visit ekster.com. You

100:51

can use code Steven, and you'll get 10%

100:53

off plus free shipping and a 100-day

100:56

trial. That's ekster.com and use code

100:58

Steven at checkout.

101:00

For anybody that likes matcha, for

101:01

anybody that likes lattes, one of my

101:03

companies has just launched canned

101:05

matcha lattes. Now, I was speaking with

101:07

the founder, Marissa, and she said that

101:09

creating this product has been no easy

101:11

feat. They tried launching in 2021, but

101:14

as is often the case in business, the

101:16

development process turned out to be

101:17

extremely complex. So, they've spent the

101:19

last 4 years testing and refining every

101:22

single detail to create this,

101:24

which is a perfect Ted matcha vanilla

101:26

latte and a perfect Ted matcha

101:29

strawberry latte. So, what we have here

101:31

in these cans is barista quality matcha

101:34

straight from the can, and it tastes

101:36

like it's just been made from your

101:37

favorite cafe, naturally sweet and

101:39

naturally creamy in a can. And the

101:41

reason why I've invested in this company

101:43

and I drink matcha is because matcha as

101:45

an energy source gives me lasting energy

101:47

without the big crashes that I get from

101:48

other products. Grab their

101:50

ready-to-drink canned matcha lattes at

101:51

Waitrose, Tesco's, and Holland & Barrett

101:53

and perfectmatcha.com where you can use

101:55

code Steven40 for 40% off your first

101:58

order.

102:01

What are you struggling with in this

102:04

season of life?

102:06

I think I've asked you this in every

102:07

conversation we've had and the answer's

102:09

evolved conversation to conversation.

102:11

Yeah. We'll both go.

102:14

I'm doing so much right now. By the way,

102:17

absolute joy.

102:19

And I wish I had more time in a day.

102:22

And not in the sense that I'm

102:24

deprioritizing my friends. You know, you

102:26

talked about how you you know, you you

102:27

would give them all your money to to

102:29

secure them, but you don't give them any

102:30

time. I actually treat a lot of I've

102:32

actually gotten very good at this. It's

102:33

probably when you write a book about

102:35

friendship, you start to like take

102:36

yourself on a little bit.

102:37

Where I I will schedule friends like

102:39

meetings

102:40

in the middle of the day. Haven't seen a

102:42

friend for a while?

102:44

Um 4:00 in the afternoon?

102:47

Tea with?

102:49

And I go and I leave the office like

102:52

I'm going to a meeting cuz nobody says,

102:53

"Hey Simon, where you going?" Well,

102:54

going to a meeting.

102:55

Where are you having the meeting? At

102:56

that restaurant. People like, "Have

102:57

fun." Nobody will give me any kind of

103:00

grief if I'm leaving to go to a meeting.

103:03

Now I go and see a friend.

103:06

And And when somebody says, "Can I

103:08

cancel this friend's tea with friend

103:09

because that you that you have a phone

103:11

call you've neglected?" I'm like, "No."

103:13

Just like you wouldn't cancel on my

103:13

meeting.

103:15

Don't cancel on So, I treat I I put it

103:17

in and I give them equal weighting

103:20

to things that I have to do at work

103:21

because I've become much more

103:22

discerning. Like, do I have to have this

103:25

meeting or this phone call today Mhm. or

103:27

can I do it next week?

103:29

I could do it next week.

103:30

And you realize we fake

103:32

we fake or we add fake urgency to

103:34

things.

103:36

And I I have a friend who's kind of

103:38

amazing.

103:39

He He's way busier than me. And he

103:44

he says, "I don't want to spend time

103:46

with anybody like I saw I saw it was

103:47

really funny. He came out of a meeting

103:49

and it was he had a meeting with a very

103:50

fancy person who's who's courting him

103:52

for business, right?

103:54

Or he should be courting the other guy

103:56

actually.

103:58

Very fancy person. And he comes out of

104:00

the meeting I'm like, "How was it?" He's

104:01

like, "Total waste of time." I'm like,

104:03

"You don't want to do busi- He doesn't

104:04

want to work with you?" He was like,

104:05

"No, he wants to work with me. He wants

104:07

to work with me badly.

104:09

Total waste of time." I'm like, "What

104:10

are you talking about?" He was like,

104:11

"He's just some rich [ __ ]

104:14

Like I learned nothing.

104:16

I didn't enjoy it. And I don't want to

104:18

work with him." And I was like, "Tell me

104:20

more." He's like, "I only want to work

104:21

with people who when I spend time with

104:23

them, they teach me something, I laugh,

104:27

or I feel inspired when I walk away. And

104:29

if somebody sucks my energy,

104:32

I do not want to I do not want to work

104:33

with them."

104:35

And I was like,

104:36

"That's amazing to have that level of

104:39

confidence that you would turn down

104:41

money in your business.

104:43

And And Now what if we applied that to

104:46

as much as possible in our lives? Like

104:48

what if we stopped hanging out with

104:50

friends who just sucked our energy?

104:52

Are they really friends?

104:54

Rather than spend more time with people

104:56

who we enjoy. What if we take meetings

104:59

from people we're excited to take a

105:00

meeting with, not that we just see

105:01

dollar signs and opportunity. And what

105:04

if we only partner with companies where

105:05

we really like the people who are who

105:08

work at those companies. Doesn't You

105:09

don't have to have a relationship with

105:10

the CEO, but I really they've got a good

105:12

culture. I really like working with

105:13

them. And we make a little less money

105:15

with them

105:16

versus that other company, but

105:18

I I really like them because when things

105:20

go wrong, I want to call that person.

105:22

And And people ask me this all the time

105:24

and they say, "How do I choose a

105:24

publisher?" And I've seen this mistake a

105:26

thousand times. I've seen people like

105:28

like former CEOs who are like, "I now

105:30

I'm going to write my book." I'm like,

105:31

"Great. You've got a lot to say." And

105:34

they've got multiple offers and there's

105:35

a bidding war.

105:36

And they always ask me, "Which one

105:38

should I go with? Which publisher should

105:39

I go with?" And I always say the same

105:40

thing. Choose the one you're going to

105:42

fight with best.

105:43

Choose the publisher you're going to

105:44

fight with best. They're like, "What?"

105:46

I'm like, "The goal is to make a good

105:47

book. There's going to be creative

105:49

tension. There's going to be fights.

105:51

Choose the the the publisher who

105:52

believes in your idea, believes in you,

105:54

wants to make a great book, who you're

105:56

going to fight with really well."

105:57

They Every single one of them ignores

105:59

me.

106:00

Every single one of them takes the

106:01

biggest bid, and every single one of

106:02

them has written a shitty book that

106:04

didn't sell.

106:04

Isn't that just relationship advice as

106:06

well, though?

106:07

Probably, yeah.

106:10

Choose the person you're going to fight

106:11

with best.

106:13

And the the the number of times that we

106:16

forget about the quality of the product

106:18

and we just want the

106:20

It's the same It's the same for job

106:21

interviews. You know, don't This is

106:24

especially true for for young people.

106:26

Like, when you're interviewing in in in

106:27

a relatively like junior job,

106:30

entry-level or slightly above,

106:33

don't worry about how much they're going

106:33

to pay you.

106:34

Like, just

106:36

as long as they pay you a livable wage,

106:37

you know,

106:39

choose the job

106:41

choose the job based on who you're going

106:43

to work for.

106:44

Choose the person I used to in early on

106:46

in my career, people, you know, HR

106:48

people would say, "What are you looking

106:49

for?" I would say I I'd always say the

106:50

same thing.

106:51

I'd said, "The thing that I'm looking

106:52

for is probably like looking for love,

106:54

but I'm looking for a mentor."

106:56

And every time I'd evaluate a job, I

106:57

didn't care how glamorous the brand was.

106:59

I didn't care how much money they were

107:00

going to pay me. And by the way, it's

107:01

not like I had money. I knew they were

107:02

going to pay me something. I knew I

107:03

could pay my bills. It's not like I've

107:05

got I'm not a I'm not a trust fund baby.

107:07

Like, I needed I needed an income.

107:09

But one company offered me, you know,

107:10

$5,000 more, and one company offered me

107:13

$5,000 less, but I really like the

107:15

person over here, I took that job. And

107:17

it was the If If I got one thing right

107:20

as a as a as a as a young person,

107:22

it's that I always chose jobs based on

107:24

who I would work for, not how much they

107:25

were going to pay me or what account or

107:27

what brand I was going to work on.

107:29

And that's the one thing I got right.

107:31

Cuz yes, I made less money than all my

107:33

friends in the short term, but I got a I

107:35

got a I got an education and a care and

107:37

a love from somebody who took me under

107:39

their wing. I am a I am I am I learned

107:43

leadership from Dennis Glennon. I

107:45

learned leadership from Peter and

107:46

Tomassio. I learned leadership from

107:49

Pamela Maffitt. I learned leadership

107:51

from these leaders who took a weird

107:53

liking to me and took me under their

107:54

wing. And they were exceptionally good

107:56

leaders themselves, and I got that

107:58

education.

107:59

And all of them in the early days paid

108:01

me less than I could have got somewhere

108:03

else.

108:05

And it's the same. Choose the people.

108:07

In my um in my book that I wrote the

108:09

first chapter in it talks about this

108:11

idea of these five buckets.

108:13

And I'm giving I'm trying to give young

108:15

kids advice on how to prioritize their

108:17

career, and it sounds somewhat similar

108:18

to you. So, I'm going to throw this

108:18

concept at you and see

108:20

see how how it lands with you. So, the

108:22

idea was that we all have these five

108:23

buckets when we're starting our career.

108:25

And the first bucket is your knowledge.

108:26

The second bucket is your skills. Now,

108:28

these are the

108:29

only buckets that

108:31

no professional earthquake in your

108:33

career can unfill. You can be fired, you

108:35

can be canceled, whatever. You still

108:36

have your knowledge and skills. But the

108:38

other three buckets I'm about to name,

108:39

they can fluctuate. Bucket number three

108:42

is your network. Can fluctuate. Bucket

108:45

number four is your resources. Can

108:48

fluctuate. And bucket number five is

108:49

your reputation. Can fluctuate. And the

108:51

idea is that focusing on those first two

108:53

buckets when you're young, opti-

108:55

choosing jobs based on how much they're

108:57

going to fill those two buckets, and

108:58

also what they're going to fill them

108:59

with, and how relevant that information

109:01

is. And when knowledge is applied, it

109:03

becomes a skill. So, you focus on fill-

109:05

filling your knowledge, you apply that

109:06

knowledge into skills, and that really

109:08

is the essence of career longevity. And

109:10

as I noticed over time with people that

109:11

I I hired and then watched them

109:13

throughout their careers and what they

109:14

did,

109:16

it seems to me that life over the long

109:18

term typically brings you back down or

109:20

up to the level of your knowledge and

109:22

skills. I had this one kid step down

109:24

from my company because he got a job

109:26

offer at 21 to be a CEO in America. And

109:28

as he departs, I'm thinking he has not

109:30

got the knowledge and skills to be a

109:31

CEO. Within 24 months, the company had

109:33

gone bust. He was back down to doing the

109:35

same job he did for me. And I thought

109:37

life just like resets you to the level

109:38

of your knowledge and skills over time.

109:41

So, what do you think of this? Are these

109:42

I think you we're saying the exact same

109:44

thing. You did it more eloquently than

109:45

me. You know, I think I think it's 100%

109:48

right.

109:49

Uh um and the people who will fill that

109:52

bucket with knowledge and skills are the

109:54

people who again, for some reason,

109:56

they're good people, they're good

109:57

leaders, they take a liking to you, and

109:59

they will give you they will put you in

110:01

situations,

110:03

and they will let you screw up and fix

110:04

your own problems, fix your own

110:06

mistakes.

110:07

Then that's what my bosses did for me.

110:09

They rewarded my behavior when I got it

110:10

right, as opposed to my results.

110:13

Never got rewarded for my results. I

110:14

always got rewarded for my behavior. So,

110:16

if I showed initiative, I got a I got a

110:18

reward even if the results didn't

110:19

follow, right?

110:21

And I could

110:22

I can tell you a great story on that.

110:23

And if I got things wrong, they would

110:25

say, "Hmm, well,

110:27

what are you going to do?

110:28

Really screwed that one up, didn't you?

110:30

Okay, what are you going to do?"

110:32

And they didn't

110:34

they weren't happy with me,

110:36

but they let me fix my own messes, and

110:38

they stood by, and I knew that they were

110:39

there if I needed them.

110:41

You know, Peter and Tomagio, one of the

110:42

best leaders I ever worked for,

110:43

annoyingly never answered a single

110:45

question I asked. "Hey Peter, what

110:47

should I do?" "I don't know. What do you

110:48

think we should do?" "Well, I think we

110:49

should do this." I'm like, "Okay, so go

110:50

do that."

110:51

You know? What do you think Peter I'm

110:54

asking you because I don't know. That's

110:56

why I'm asking you. He was like, "Ooh,

110:57

well,

110:58

you probably go think about that."

111:00

He was he was he was the worst, but what

111:02

he taught me was self-reliance.

111:03

Mhm.

111:04

What what he taught me was

111:05

self-reliance. What he taught me was

111:07

if I don't know, then I have to go keep

111:09

searching and keep talking to people. I

111:10

have to have a point of view.

111:12

Mhm.

111:13

And may not be right.

111:15

And I'll find that out myself, too.

111:17

And I also learned to have backup plans

111:18

from him cuz something went haywire on

111:20

me. And I went so wrong, it ended up

111:23

being okay, but they he made me sweat

111:26

it. I remember at the end of the day

111:28

at the end of this whole thing that went

111:29

wrong that was totally my fault.

111:31

The phone rings, I see his It's 6:00

111:33

p.m.

111:35

Phone rings, I see his name come up on

111:36

the caller ID, and I pick up the phone.

111:37

I remember the whole call word for word,

111:39

right?

111:40

I pick up the phone, I go, "Hello?"

111:42

He says,

111:43

"Close call today." I said, "Yep." He

111:46

said, "Better to get shaved by the

111:48

bullet than hit by the bullet." I went,

111:50

"Yep." He said, "Have a good night." I

111:53

said, "You, too."

111:55

That was the whole phone call.

111:56

And so,

111:58

since then, since that experience, I

112:00

always have a backup plan. Now, it

112:01

doesn't mean it's all ready to go, but

112:02

I've thought about if this thing that

112:04

I'm trying to do doesn't work, what will

112:06

I do?

112:07

And I have at least committed some

112:09

thought to it. So, if if something does

112:10

go wrong, I'm like, I'm a little bit

112:11

ahead.

112:13

You either have it planned or I'm like,

112:14

"Okay, okay. Don't worry. I kind of if

112:16

this happened, I thought about this

112:17

already."

112:18

And it's only because of these great

112:19

leaders.

112:20

And it goes This is this recurring theme

112:22

of this whole conversation, which is

112:24

it's the struggle, it's the journey, not

112:26

the destination, it's the human beings

112:28

that guide us, it's the human beings

112:30

that hold space for us, that make us

112:32

better at what we do, better better than

112:34

how we show up in the world. And AI will

112:37

absolutely make our lives easier like

112:38

most technology makes our lives easier.

112:41

That's kind of the rule the rule of

112:42

technology, which is to make life a

112:44

little easier, a little more efficient,

112:45

a little quicker, a little less, you

112:48

know, strain on the muscles. You know,

112:50

that's

112:51

kind of what it does, you know, from the

112:53

from the plow, you know,

112:55

all the way up to the internet and AI,

112:57

it just makes life a little easier.

113:01

But we're still human beings who are

113:02

forced to live with human beings.

113:03

You're writing a book about friendship

113:04

that we're all waiting for.

113:06

Yeah.

113:07

I'm not going to ask you when it's due

113:08

cuz I don't want to be your publisher,

113:09

but um

113:11

I know that they they chase and chase

113:12

and chase and chase. But my my as my

113:14

closing question is why? Of all the

113:16

things you could have written about

113:17

Simon, you're someone who's able to

113:19

traverse several subject matters across

113:21

business and life and everything in

113:22

between, but you've committed yourself

113:24

to the struggle

113:26

of writing a book about friendship.

113:29

There's an entire industry to help us be

113:31

better leaders.

113:33

Right? There's an entire industry

113:35

to help you have a successful

113:36

relationship or a successful marriage or

113:38

even find a partner, right? Industries,

113:41

books, companies.

113:43

There's very little on how to be a

113:45

friend.

113:46

And if you think about

113:48

if you're going to have a successful

113:49

career

113:50

and can and can survive the stresses of

113:53

career

113:54

and if you're going to have a successful

113:55

romantic relationship or marriage and

113:56

survive that, do you know what what you

113:59

need in both of those circumstances?

114:01

Friends.

114:02

Cuz when your marriage is falling apart,

114:03

you go to a friend. When your job is

114:05

falling apart, you go to a friend. When

114:08

and and there's a few things that I've

114:09

discovered about friends that I find

114:12

delightful. And I have been reorganizing

114:15

my life to as I as I mentioned it

114:18

before, like I've been reorganizing my

114:19

life to ensure that my friends aren't

114:21

taken for granted and that sometimes I

114:23

do deprioritize work in order to see my

114:26

friends and spend time with my friends

114:27

because I know it feels good to them and

114:29

I know it feels good to me.

114:31

And I know that the only reason I can

114:34

get through any work stress or personal

114:36

stress I have is because of those

114:37

magical human beings and I will not take

114:39

them for granted.

114:41

And um doesn't mean it's always easy.

114:44

I'm conflicted often,

114:47

but I'm trying. And I also know if you

114:49

look at the work the world today and

114:50

like there's so much conversation about

114:51

loneliness, depression, anxiety,

114:53

inability to cope with stress,

114:55

even the obsession with longevity. Like

114:57

there's so much about these subjects and

115:00

some people treat it with drugs and then

115:01

medication and vacations and burn like

115:03

there's so many theories. The one thing

115:05

that fixes all of those things

115:08

is friends.

115:09

Friendship is the ultimate bio hack. You

115:11

know, we've talked about this before. I

115:13

fundamentally believe that.

115:15

And if it's so valuable, like if I know

115:17

if you know vegetables are good for you,

115:19

you eat more vegetables.

115:21

If you know exercise is good for you,

115:23

you do more exercise. So if I say

115:24

friends are good for you,

115:25

shouldn't you do more friendships?

115:27

Right? Like shouldn't you Exercise is

115:29

not fun or easy and you have to get over

115:32

a hump sometimes.

115:33

Eating vegetables can sometimes be

115:35

boring and unsatisfying, but you do it

115:37

when you find new ways. And so maybe

115:40

friendship is not always easy or fun,

115:43

but it's still really really good for

115:45

you.

115:46

And it The best thing about friends is

115:47

it actually doesn't taste like spinach.

115:49

It's like you get the benefits of

115:50

spinach, but it tastes like chocolate

115:51

cake. If you get friendship right,

115:53

it's it's the healthiest thing in the

115:55

world. How do I know if someone's a

115:57

friend?

115:58

Have that conversation with them.

116:01

Cuz I know a lot of people.

116:02

Yeah, yeah, I mean like and you have

116:03

deal friends, you know, you have a lot

116:05

of deal friends, you know?

116:06

Yeah. Podcast friends.

116:07

Podcast friends, yeah. Uh

116:10

Work friends.

116:10

You know, and you and we have and like

116:11

look, I'm not talking about There's all

116:13

kinds of friends. There's friends that

116:14

you just like hanging out with. They're

116:15

just fun, but you're not going to go to

116:16

them with your problems or to sort out,

116:19

you know, issues. You're not You're just

116:20

not. Work or personal. They're just fun,

116:24

right? There's nothing wrong with that.

116:26

Um but I think you know, I'm certainly

116:28

guilty of spending time with people that

116:30

you know, they fill a space and they

116:32

make me feel not lonely, but at the end

116:33

of the day, I don't feel smarter,

116:37

inspired, brighter, lighter when they

116:40

when I say goodbye. I'm just like, all

116:41

right, bye. That was fun.

116:42

And I kind of want to spend more time

116:44

with people who lift me, teach me,

116:46

support me, love me, give me a

116:48

I give me a chance to serve. They open

116:50

up to me and let me serve as well. You

116:52

know?

116:53

I struggle to make friends.

116:54

And

116:55

I think

116:57

Do you know why?

116:59

I think

117:01

I

117:03

I think I'm lazy. With it. Lazy with

117:06

friendships. So I will meet someone.

117:08

I'll have

117:09

a great connection with them. And then

117:12

my follow up like I don't really know

117:14

what to do next.

117:16

So I'll meet

117:16

Your follow up is crap.

117:17

Oh [ __ ] hell.

117:19

This is what I mean. Like my I'll meet

117:21

someone

117:21

I'll text you and maybe I'll get a

117:23

response.

117:24

Vice versa.

117:26

I think YOU LEFT ME ON READ.

117:30

BUT YOU YOU'RE THE SAME. ARE YOU THE

117:31

SAME? Or is it just with me?

117:34

It's just with me.

117:35

It's just with you.

117:36

But I but I think my follow up game is

117:37

like crap. I'll meet someone I'll go Oh

117:39

my I'll see I'll see the potential for a

117:41

friendship. And then I won't know

117:44

what I have or maybe I'm just being

117:46

lazy. I'm trying to I want to be honest

117:49

Maybe I just didn't prioritize it.

117:50

I think also when you start having fame

117:52

and money

117:54

and you you just being the boss

117:56

you get away with stuff.

117:58

So you show up late everybody's like

118:01

pissed off and angry and then you show

118:02

up and they're like and you're like

118:03

sorry like no no no no don't worry don't

118:04

worry.

118:05

Right? Like you get away with stuff in

118:07

the world, right? And so I think what

118:09

that does is I I see this with

118:10

celebrities all the time, right? Because

118:13

everybody yeses them to death and they

118:14

get away with it and nobody ever holds

118:15

them accountable. At some point they

118:17

just get lazier and lazier and lazier

118:18

because they can.

118:19

Oh yeah.

118:20

You know?

118:21

Yeah.

118:21

And so you they don't have to put in the

118:22

effort because other people put in the

118:23

effort.

118:24

Yeah.

118:25

And nobody be like

118:26

like a a somebody who's a nobody won't

118:28

say to them

118:29

Yo.

118:30

[ __ ]

118:32

Not respectful.

118:33

Oh you think my schedule doesn't matter?

118:36

I've been waiting here for 3 hours.

118:38

Uh

118:39

you just because you're a celebrity you

118:40

think you can just keep me waiting? Not

118:42

cool. Nobody says that to them. And

118:44

somebody should say that to them. But uh

118:46

They should say to themselves.

118:47

They should say it to themselves. That

118:48

would be ideal.

118:50

And then some of them have the

118:51

self-awareness to know they're getting

118:52

away with it. That's even worse, cuz

118:53

then they're doing it on purpose. At

118:54

least blindness, I think, you know, they

118:55

can at least hide behind ignorance.

118:58

But, uh

119:00

Yeah, I mean, friendship takes effort.

119:02

Yeah, I there there'll be a lot of

119:03

people listening now, I know, that

119:05

understand I think they'll resonate with

119:06

what I'm saying, which is I'll meet

119:08

someone, I'll be like, we could be

119:10

really good friends. I see so much in

119:11

us. I love what you stand for. We We

119:13

have so much in common. And then, it

119:15

drifts because neither party have the

119:18

tools or the skill of like what to do

119:21

then.

119:21

We also live in a strange world where

119:23

I've met people where I have all of

119:25

that, and I follow up like immediately.

119:27

I'm like, "Hey, I had such a good time.

119:28

Let's make a plan." And they're like,

119:29

"What? Huh? What?" Or I call as opposed

119:31

to like texting. And people are like,

119:33

"What? Why are you calling?" I'm like,

119:34

"Well, we had we had a nice time. I

119:35

thought we maybe talk."

119:38

You know? And I think we live in a

119:39

strange world where people put it out

119:41

there, but they don't really want it.

119:43

Looping us right back to the beginning

119:44

of this conversation. As you said that

119:46

about the call, that made me think again

119:48

about how there's going to become a

119:50

premium on human.

119:52

Because calling is so archaic to me that

119:54

when someone does it, it's like a treat

119:57

now. And I was thinking what's what's

119:58

taking that even further would be

120:00

writing someone a letter.

120:01

Mhm.

120:01

If someone Do you know who wrote me a

120:03

letter? Evan from Snapchat came on the

120:04

podcast, the founder and CEO of

120:06

Snapchat. And then, by the time I'd got

120:07

back to London, there was a letter on my

120:09

desk from Evan. And it just said, "Had a

120:11

great conversation with you. Um thank

120:13

you for being so thoughtful with the

120:14

questions. Thank you for the research.

120:16

Here's my number. Would love to stay in

120:17

touch." And it blew me away.

120:19

AI wrote that.

120:22

No, it was with a pen.

120:23

he had he had an auto pen. He just did

120:24

it.

120:26

It was with a pen. Had a signature and

120:27

his phone number. And I thought, that is

120:28

so beautiful.

120:30

It's classic and classy.

120:32

There's a premium on being human.

120:34

Simon, thank you so much. Thank you for

120:36

being so generous with your time always.

120:37

Always. I always have fun with you.

120:38

my show. You're um you always move me

120:40

forward in my thinking in such profound

120:41

and unexpected always unexpected way

120:43

that I'll tremendous I'll value

120:44

tremendously for a very very long time.

120:46

In our friendship. I I'm going to text

120:48

back even faster. I'm you know, we need

120:50

to go on more dates.

120:51

Um and I look forward to that and I look

120:52

forward to our next date in London,

120:53

which I know is coming up sometime soon.

120:54

Yeah, we'll go out for sure. It'll be

120:56

fun.

120:56

We have a closing tradition which I

120:57

nearly forgot.

120:58

I do know the tradition.

120:59

Which is the last guest leaves a

121:00

question for the next guest.

121:01

Yes, what's my question?

121:02

Mhm. What are you doing in your life

121:04

to mentor someone coming up behind you?

121:08

And then, who is a person that you'd

121:10

like to mentor, teach, or coach that

121:13

needs your voice the most?

121:16

I It's

121:18

It's my team is everything right now.

121:20

Like I want to give everything I've

121:21

learned to my team. I want the folks on

121:23

my team to benefit from all the mistakes

121:26

I've made.

121:27

And one of the joys of

121:29

being in founder mode when it's not

121:32

the

121:33

the actual beginning

121:35

is I have way more in my skill and

121:38

knowledge bucket that I want to pour

121:40

out. And so, I One of the reasons I'm

121:43

having so much fun in founder mode

121:45

is because I want to give away

121:48

everything that I've learned so that my

121:49

team can be stronger and stronger and

121:51

better and better.

121:53

Cuz I want to leave something that can

121:54

survive me that, you know, if

121:57

if I you know, the whole school bus

121:58

test, you know, if the founder gets hit

122:00

by a bus, will the company continue or

122:01

will it will it not?

122:03

And I really want to build something

122:05

where they want to build it without me.

122:07

Feels like there's been a change here.

122:09

Mhm. What was the catalyst?

122:11

For the past couple years, I've been

122:12

just trying out a lot of different

122:13

things to find to to find uh a level of

122:17

excitement and energy that I think I'd

122:18

lost for a little bit and I found it.

122:20

Like this has been like the founder mode

122:22

my team are so great and they so want to

122:26

they so want to push boundaries and all

122:28

I want to do is take take the reins off,

122:30

like take the leash off, like I want

122:32

them to experiment. I want them to try

122:33

things. And I'm trying to create an

122:34

environment where they're creative, they

122:36

do things, half of them will fail. I

122:38

don't care. Let's try again. And I I

122:41

just love being around all the creative

122:43

ideas that they're coming up with.

122:45

My team asked you to bring something

122:46

that meant a lot to you, and you brought

122:48

me this, and I don't know what's in this

122:49

box.

122:55

Ooh.

122:58

Two medallions, medals?

123:01

Those are military challenge coins.

123:03

Um I brought the one the round one just

123:05

to show you what the traditional ones

123:06

look like.

123:07

Um uh

123:09

this is the one I care about. I mean, I

123:10

care about them both, but this is the

123:11

one I brought. So,

123:13

these are

123:14

uh

123:15

only generals or commanders will give

123:16

these out. They're hard to get. You get

123:18

them when you do something of service.

123:21

It's it's less formal than a medal. They

123:23

can give it out to whomever they want,

123:25

and it's their way of saying thank you.

123:27

And the challenge coins that I've been

123:28

given, I'm very very proud of it because

123:30

I feel like I earned them.

123:31

And the thing that I love is when they

123:32

give them to you, they don't just hand

123:33

it to you.

123:35

They put it in their hand like this, and

123:36

they shake your hand.

123:38

Go on.

123:40

And that's how they give them to you.

123:41

And they say, "Thank you, Simon, so much

123:43

for coming here and helping us out." And

123:45

that's how they give me the coin.

123:47

The reason why this one means a lot to

123:48

me

123:49

is because I did some work with the with

123:52

Air Force Top Gun. It's called the

123:54

Weapons School, but it's Air Force Top

123:55

Gun.

123:56

And this is their coin, and this is

123:57

their patch. That's And um I did some

124:00

work with them to help them get to the

124:01

core of their why, what their true value

124:03

was.

124:04

Just to make sure that their culture

124:05

stays clear and good for a long time.

124:07

And we came up with three words, three

124:09

actions that everybody who goes through

124:11

Air Force Top Gun is required to do,

124:13

which is build, teach, lead.

124:15

Which is the idea that you build a skill

124:17

set.

124:18

You teach that skill set to other

124:20

people.

124:21

And then you build leaders, and you

124:22

lead, right? This whole idea that you

124:24

have you have a responsibility to build,

124:26

to teach, and to lead. Accumulate and

124:28

give, and serve.

124:30

And the thing that is so powerful is the

124:32

commandant of the Weapons School, after

124:34

we he the work, he took those words, and

124:36

he put them on the coin.

124:38

Oh, really?

124:38

And they exist on the coin and they have

124:40

been on there for years since.

124:42

And I am so proud to have given

124:44

something that has longevity, that is

124:46

literally on the coin.

124:49

Build, teach, lead.

124:52

Yeah, that is such a beautiful mantra

124:53

for life.

124:54

Yeah. And they're they're wonderful

124:56

people who go there. And uh what an

124:59

honor that work that I did ended up on a

125:01

coin.

125:03

And so they gave me the coin out of

125:04

gratitude

125:06

for the work that I did and it had my

125:07

words on it, so it's not my words, it's

125:09

their words. I just helped distill them.

125:11

It's who they are when they're at their

125:12

natural best. I just helped them put it

125:15

uh codify it.

125:17

Simon, thank you.

125:17

Thanks.

125:18

Always love our conversations and long

125:20

may they continue.

125:20

Likewise.

125:24

This has always blown my mind a little

125:25

bit. 53% of you that listen to this show

125:28

regularly haven't yet subscribed to this

125:30

show. So, could I ask you for a favor?

125:32

If you like this show and you like what

125:33

we do here and you want to support us,

125:35

the free simple way that you can do just

125:36

that is by hitting the subscribe button.

125:38

And my commitment to you is if you do

125:40

that, then I'll do everything in my

125:41

power, me and my team, to make sure that

125:43

this show is better for you every single

125:45

week. We'll listen to your feedback,

125:47

we'll find the guest that you want me to

125:48

speak to, and we'll continue to do what

125:50

we do. Thank you so much.

Interactive Summary

This conversation features Simon Sinek and the host discussing the profound impact of AI on modern society, focusing on how reliance on technology threatens essential human skills. Sinek argues that while AI offers efficient results, it risks devaluing the journey of struggle, which is where true growth and competence are found. He emphasizes that authentic human connection, conflict resolution, and the beauty of imperfection are irreplaceable. Throughout the talk, Sinek advocates for personal accountability in developing human skills, maintaining strong friendships, and being intentional about the technology we let into our lives.

Suggested questions

3 ready-made prompts