this is the Buster Rhymes that none of

us have ever seen before Buster Rhymes

says it himself this is a buster Rhymes

that nobody's ever seen

before you will walk away from this

conversation understanding not only what

it takes to reach the very peak of your

powers but to stay there for 33 years to

have the insane consistency discipline

dedication and in his words addiction to

something that will take you to the very

top but then also you'll see the forces

in life that take you from that Peak to

the deepest depths of darkness and once

you're in that

Darkness how do you rise from it how did

Buster take himself from the darkest

moment of his life that he's really not

talked about ever before back to the

peak of his

powers this is a human story it's one of

the most inspiring stories we've ever

had on this show and it's a side of a

guy that we've known for many many

decades that I have never seen before

thank you to bust for this conversation

and if you like this conversation if you

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this

[Music]

episode Buster sometimes I think that

with maturity and with age we're able to

look back at our earliest years and

connect dots that only our maturity and

only our own growth and development

allow us to connect and those dots

sometimes indicate to

us why and how we became the person we

are today and that's really what I'm so

compelled to understand with you is what

is that early context that you look back

on now when you go the reason I am the

man I am today sat here is because of

this early context and these things and

these people what is that honestly have

to say it starts with my mother and my

father

um my mother and my father was was

strict you know what I'm saying and they

also made sure that I didn't need for

nothing I was able to really enjoy what

it was to be a child

and you know I don't I don't have to sit

here and and mislead people like I come

from some poor struggle and I come from

this this hood [ __ ] like yeah I was in

the hood I was in Brooklyn East Flatbush

Brooklyn New York and I was in the hood

with enough of the the goons and the

Hooligans but

the difference about our era and the way

you you mostly hear artists try to

portray it now is even the guys that was

the goons and the gangsters and the

troublemakers in the street they had

respect and they had integrity and they

understood what it was to have proper

manners

like if my

mother as serious as she

was saw any of the other kids in the

street it was the like I'm giving you an

example of how it really literally took

a village to ra a child like none of the

Neighbors on the Block would see another

child that they watch grow from a little

boy into becoming a teenager or

something and see that kid misbehaving

and not reprimand him in the street even

if they not his parent so my neighbors

had permission to to bust my ass if I

was misbehaving and then they would tell

my mother and if my mother felt like I

misrepresented her to make another

neighbor have to discipline me that was

going to get me another ass beaten so

you ended up getting two ass

beaten for every one trouble that you

caused you know what I'm saying and and

that's that [ __ ] was important because I

think that as a community that [ __ ] is

something that's it doesn't exist

anymore you can't tell no nobody else

kid nothing kids ain't trying to listen

to you tell them nothing they'll lift up

something and fling it after you or or

or go upside your head if and disrespect

you because it's just a totally

different

value in the way things are done in the

community so it starts with my parents

and the way I was raised in in the house

to have respect for my parents have

respect for my other Elders even if he

wasn't my parent and

also even if you was dudes that was in

the street you still an elder we had to

respect you as an elder in in return

that same respect that came from the

house and you whenever you went abroad

and you conducted yourself in that

manner would garnish the same respect in

return so even if it was a dude in the

street on some Street [ __ ] the respect

that you showed to that Elder still

warranted a certain respect from them

they wouldn't disrespect the respect

that you was raised in your house to

have for your family and for them so

that respect was upheld and it was that

that integrity was defended

and that was a real

solid foundation that all of the other

flaw was built on which eventually

evolved into becoming a skyscraper for

me so I'mma start there with the kids

then I'm I'mma go to the neighborhood

because again when my parents was around

I got the same disciplining from the

neighbors the hardworking middle class

families the less fortunate families

that was still in the neighborhood we

all was on the same Accord about

discipline and respect was it it was it

easy to see when you look back how you

could have gone another way in that

context absolutely because all of those

things were still there the drug dealing

was still there the shootings were still

happening the robberies were still

happening all of that was there right

but the beautiful thing was there was a

serious presence of

balance that was just as impressionable

as all of the things that was the

negative presence that was strong and

that did get a stronghold on a lot of

the youth in the community at the time

too how come you didn't go the other way

I

did I did I just was fortunate enough to

have something like hip hop that was

able to be an alternative that saved my

life changed my

life and I had some incredible people

that was around me to

support me when I

found this interest and and I identified

with my gift as

and artists to be able

[Music]

to entertain

people

perform articulate my thoughts through

song and Ry

form and I had an incredible support

system with my moms I had an incredible

support system with just the other

friends and family that I grew up with

that was in the community and then last

but not least the determination that I

had to want to be able to not disappoint

the people that I knew that really was

proud of what I was doing good bad or

indifferent who are

they it was it was all of them all of

them right so for example I pissed my

mom's off when I decideed I wanted to

start selling weed and selling crack

right and the guys that was in the

street that I was doing it

with when they realized even though I

was doing it and it was cool for us to

do it they didn't really want us to do

it when they started to see that we had

potential to do other things that was

going to keep us safe and keep us away

from the street a lot of the time they

didn't have a better opportunity to

offer us so they made sure that they was

as present as they could be to gu us

through the [ __ ] that they didn't even

want us to do in the first place which

was the the stupidness we was carrying

on with in the

street so they did everything they could

to minimize the [ __ ] that we would

get into so we don't get k so we don't

go to jail so you know none of that [ __ ]

would happen but once they realize they

didn't have a better opportunity for us

that is what they felt was the best that

they could do if they if we're going to

do the [ __ ] we got to be there to

protect them and make sure that they

straight and we guide them so that they

could do it the best way with the least

amount of [ __ ] as a younger as a

younger kid right when they started to

see that this rapping thing and this

hip-hop [ __ ] and break dancing and and

graffiti and DJing and all of that [ __ ]

was something that we started to

generate interest for that's when they

started to encourage us to do that more

instead of cracking instead of selling

the drugs instead of selling weed

instead of stealing this and taking that

and so they were so happy to see we

found another way they wanted us to do

that so the more we did

that if we started to show them in

indication as we was making in progress

that we wasn't continuing to be

productive now it felt like you was

pissing off two sets of

parents I'm already pissing off my

parents cuz I'm with them in the street

now they see me doing this music [ __ ]

they like that [ __ ] they proud of me so

if I'm not doing well in that now I'm

disappointing them too what was the

consequence of your parents separating

at 11 years old cuz I think about me

being 11 years old I remember a

conversation my mom my mom's Nigerian I

was born in bwana my dad's English right

I remember at around that age about 10

years old my parents calling me in and

basically telling me they didn't love

any each other anymore and it was like

the world had broken in half yeah it

like you can't comprehend the concept of

these two people being separate it's

like being torn into two pieces how was

it for you at 11 years old when you find

that out it was disastrous for me

because um like you said you can't

really ever wrap your head around that

as a child you don't know how to

conceptualize that like

um obviously there was things that I was

able to do and and it was enjoyment I

was able to have when I spent time with

my father that I I couldn't get when I

was with my

mother there was things that I was

always able to get as far as nurturing

and being cared for and being baby from

my mother that I couldn't get from my

father and obviously divine order is

Mother and Father to make baby right

so I definitely didn't want to

lose neither one of them did you change

I definitely Chang because um I wasn't

um I couldn't figure out how to find my

my my

uh the the the behaved kid that I was

even though I was still getting into

[ __ ] the the [ __ ] really started

once my mother and my father got a

divorce the misbehaving really started

picking up the the disrespect started to

pick up and intensify the anger was just

a lot more

more why it overwhelmed me more because

I was just I wasn't happy with my

situation and then I wasn't happy

with the the way that I was directly

impacted by their beef so

like you know there would be times

when if my mother and my father wasn't

getting

along fresh discrepancy between the two

of them say like the day of my father

posted to pick up me and my brother cuz

I only got one younger brother and say

he supposed to come and pick us up on

this day and particularly for his

visitation weekend if a

argument started with the two of them

that

morning you know my father would get to

the house and then my mother wouldn't

even let us go and we would look and see

him in the front of the house from the

window

and my mom's would just be on some

[ __ ] how did you feel looking at him

from the window it [ __ ] crazy you

wanted to go I'm guessing of course you

know what I'm saying because there was

things and there was other family that

obviously was on my father's side

cousins and kids from the neighborhoods

of the

cousins uh part of Brooklyn or queens

and different areas of New York that we

would go that we had friends and

with the family and with the

neighborhood friends that we met through

our other family and other cousins and

things of that nature in the different

neighbor we we we wouldn't get to see

these people until Dad came to get us

because Mom's wasn't cool really with

that side of the family like that my

father's side of the family wasn't

really rocking with my mother's side of

the family like that so if that rotation

didn't happen in the visits we didn't

get to enjoy that we missed out with Dad

we was only get to

getting the opportunity to see him you

know once a week once every two weeks or

sometimes once a month if they they

beefing with each other did did your

relationship with your father at that

point kind of become a bit straighted

when because of that beef did you start

to see him less and less and less yeah I

think my conflict with my father it

started to happen more and more because

um you know obviously um

the lack of a parent presence has an

effect in different ways

right and as a son I don't know what it

is but I just think

instinctually boys cling on to their

moms

more I don't know if that's always the

case but in most cases that's usually

what it is I think my father's

personality was a little conflicting for

me with the way my personality was and

the contrast of my father's

personality as opposed to my mother's

personality it it drew Conflict for me

too because my father he wasn't as

interested in the [ __ ] that I wanted to

do or that the [ __ ] that I was

interested in as a as a child like he

always was more serious

about whatever he felt was best for my

future was all that mattered it wasn't

about what I thought it was about what

he thought so I always started to feel

like in in having the comparison and

seeing the contrast between that and how

supportive my mother was for the [ __ ]

that I wanted to do like you

know first time I got some [ __ ] I could

come tell my mother I could sit down and

tell my mother about how that felt you

know what I'm saying I could sit and

tell my moms

about you know my first wet dream or

some

[ __ ] I could I could talk to my moms and

about the music that I'm making in the

studio with with my crew leaders of the

new school at the time and I could come

home and I could play that [ __ ] in the

house I could turn up the [ __ ] just as

long as I could do just as long as I did

what I was supposed to in the house my

mother was with all the other [ __ ] as

long as it was productive and it kept me

away from the trouble in the street that

was relieving for her my

father he tried to talk to him at the

time about some rap [ __ ] he's like I

don't want to hear that [ __ ] that [ __ ]

is a bunch of

[ __ ] and you wasting your time with

that [ __ ] that's how I used to talk you

know what I'm

saying now at that time I didn't respect

it and at that time I I I I felt way I

felt real [ __ ] up about that because

it was just

like I could be doing some real [ __ ]

like I'm I'm actually still one foot put

in because I'm not I'm I haven't

succeeded at this this [ __ ] don't make

me no money I do this [ __ ] cuz I love it

like I just love it so when I'm able to

do [ __ ] that I love with with my friends

that and with my people

that I'm entertained by doing it with

them it's because I have this thing with

a crew that there's a

collective enjoyment that we're getting

from from doing this music [ __ ] are you

still trying to prove him wrong to some

degree did you find yourself trying to

prove him wrong then nah because I got

my opportunity to do it but before that

moment before at that time yeah

absolutely I was trying to prove him

wrong I was so determined to prove him

wrong that it it it it forced me to

excel because the more that he wanted me

to do what he wanted me to do which was

my father was a licensed electrical

contractor okay okay so he used to force

me to come to work his way of keeping me

off the street was bringing me to work

with him because he had his

own company as a licensed electrical

contractor how' you feel about that I

was disgusted with that [ __ ] because we

working in these nasty [ __ ] buildings

with rats and roaches running around and

[ __ ] and it took childhood time for me

because I wasn't able to be outside and

play that's really what I wanted to do

and how old were you then 12 it started

a little younger than that but right

around 12 is when it got serious I would

say like around 10 years old was when it

started 12 is when it got serious

because my mother used to send us to

different countries every summer with my

father just so we could be able to

explore what it was like to live in

Jamaica for a summer with the family

same [ __ ] with England my mother would

send us to England so when I

was around there was one summer we came

out here you were 10 I was like 10 11 my

brother was younger than me he like

seven I'm staying in morham them time

and Preston and we went to karate school

here we went to Primary School here

and we was break dancing and I had these

cousins that used to named Samantha and

Michaela they used to take me in val

they used to take me to these little

clubs cuz they used to bring us to like

this little area where was like a uh I

wouldn't call it a downtown area but

there was a area Like a downtown area in

the morham area and in the Preston area

and in a Blackpool area and we would go

and we would break dance out there with

the young kids that was from England and

you know we had our style of doing [ __ ]

from New York and we we was we was

getting we was some dangerous little

[ __ ] now I me you know we was

getting busy we was making it happen we

you know we twisting up and popping and

all of this [ __ ] so

it was it was something where we just

became a part of this break dance

community and they was always looking

forward to seeing us we would go out

there like three four times a week other

people promoters they would see us they

started to book us to come in clubs

obviously we're too young to go in a

club so they would let us come perform

10 minutes 15 minutes and then we would

have to leave immediately so we made a

little money that way get a little 10

PBS here for a show a little 20 pounds

there for a show but this these are the

things that grew around so when I when I

was around all of

this and that started to slow

down dad was like okay y'all ain't going

nowhere this summer you're coming to

work do I want to go to work no do I

want to be an electrician no do I want

to be [ __ ] pulling BX cable through

sheetrock no do I want to be hammering

nails and then bang my finger no do I

want to see rats and [ __ ] roaches

crawling over my shoes and my timbering

boots and I don't want to do none of

that and I'm watching kids riding up and

down and pop a wheelieing on the bike

and music playing outside and I can't do

that [ __ ] I was I used to be super angry

at that [ __ ] every day with my father

what did you want to do instead I wanted

to rap I wanted to make music I wanted

to break dance I wanted to do all the

[ __ ] that

hip-hop consisted of like I I became the

embodiment of Hip Hop and it was the

thing that was my excuse to not go to

work why did you want to rap well number

one I wanted to be the DJ first okay you

know what I'm saying the DJ thing to me

though I never really got good at it to

be the DJ I was able to do it but I was

never nice enough to become the

Superstar DJ and at that time

the DJ was super important because all

of the groups had the DJ name so the

grandm Flash and the furious five Jam

Master J Run DMC like the DJ was always

the

solo it was like he was the big

shot so when I I couldn't I'm not really

the technology dude you know what I'm

saying so all of

this equipment [ __ ] like it was just a

little complic ated for me and

then I actually became a MC by

accident and the interesting part about

that

was I caught two charges selling crack

by the time I was

12 and fortunately the laws was

different and I was a

minor so

I didn't see no serious trouble but I

was definitely on my way to getting into

some serious trouble if I didn't if my

mother didn't say all right enough of

this [ __ ] we got to get you out of

here that's when she took me from

Brooklyn and brought me to Long

Island when I got to Long Island that's

when I met

Brown C Brown from leaders of the new

school dink OD D from leaders of the new

school Milo is my mother's sister's son

so he's my first Blood

cousin but before we brought in Milo it

was and even before we brought in Dinko

was it was me Dinko and another dude

named mystery mystery was hustling in

the street too but when we went to Long

Island now a lot of other families was

thinking like my mother it brought their

kids from Brooklyn too to Long Island

from Queens to Long Island from the

Bronx to Long Island so we left the

neighborhood

which is the hood we was raised in we

left the hood to come to the suburbs and

still be around a bunch of kids from the

hood you know what I'm saying so the

same [ __ ] you was running from we found

a way to do the same [ __ ] in these nice

neighborhoods now and here we come as

the generation terrorizing these

beautiful

neighborhoods

and we [ __ ] these neighborhoods up

when you say you became an accident

Dental MC this is what happened I wasn't

rapping yet I was only break dancing I

was only

popping and I was DJing a little bit and

I was messing around with the

graffiti I wasn't rapping yet so when I

move to Long Island I meet Charlie Brown

I meet

mystery

[Music]

and what ends up happening

is in this junior high school now they

got like these lip sync contests they

got rap contests

and you know we now finally getting a

chance to experience what it's like to

have a be in school where you have

periods different periods in classes and

you in one class for 45 minutes to an

hour then the bell ringing and you

switch I got the hallway action

everybody talking [ __ ] go to the next

class flirt with a couple of chicks on

the way to the next class so all of that

interaction is starting out puberty

kicking in crazy you know 13 years old

12 13 now you starting to get your

homeown just moving different

so obviously you going through the stage

in your life now where you want to

impress everybody you wna you want to be

the cool guy in

school

so whenever you came to Long Island

from the five

burrows it was a thing oh that's the New

Kid From Brooklyn oh that's the new kid

from Queens oh that's the new kid from

Bronx that's the new kid from Staten

Island so me being one of the new kids

from Brooklyn it created this

talk

and the rapping thing is happening

Charlie Brown was like the guy he was

like the the the number one rap dude in

school at the time

so one day I'm coming out of the

school and we get in the schoolyard and

you know some of the kids waiting on the

school buses some of the kids is waiting

to see you know the football game or the

basketball game after school there was

like a cipher that was formed in this

particular day and it was a big one

and it was C Brown rapping and two other

kids and then

uh see brown was getting most of the

shine I walked over with to the cipher

and I started

beatboxing right and

uh Brown he's he doing his rap [ __ ] to

my beatbox or whatever and you know I'm

keeping the beat going for

him and then

um everything was smooth in the

beginning like you know he was just

rhing everything was cool and you know

he's sounding

good and then like probably like a good

30 40 seconds into it he just started

disrespecting me so I'm beatboxing for

him and he dissing me and I'm I'm I'm

kind of like torn

between should I punch this dude in his

face or should I just keep beatboxing

and not be the party pooper of the party

energy that we have in here and you how

old I was 12 I was I was 13 now and I'm

saying to

myself I'm from Brooklyn

and the mentality back then was

everybody from Long Island was [ __ ] you

know it's the suburbs it's the green

grass it's the flower beds it's it's the

the the the nice

houses we come from from from Concrete

Jungle we come from projects we come

from struggle

so I'm looking at this dude and I'm just

looking at him like I'm a [ __ ] you up

like in two seconds because you a [ __ ]

to me but you disrespecting me in front

of all these people and if don't do

something then they going to look at me

like I'm a [ __ ] too

so as I'm getting ready to do something

stupid the rhyme stopped like he was

done

and everybody was biging him up and you

know I ain't want to look like a sore

loser even though there was no battle he

just chose to diss me for no reason and

I couldn't understand it because I'm

like y I'm here to support you right now

I'm giving you the beat and the whole

[ __ ] the [ __ ] you doing

long story short that was the

day I said all right I'mma go

home and I'mma write a rhyme tonight and

I'mma come back tomorrow and I'mma

[ __ ] disrespect this youth in front

of everybody the same way he dished me

up in front of

everybody and the next day I came to

school I waited all day I ain't telling

nobody [ __ ] we got back in that same

yard nice big crowd the next

day he raming again I started beat

boxing for him again like like like it's

the exact thing happening like the day

before so we going and I'm doing what

I'm doing and everything is cool and

nobody ain't got no clue cuz I didn't

say [ __ ] to nobody about having RS

ready and the crazy [ __ ] is when I wrot

my

Rhymes I was listening to a bunch of LL

Cool J [ __ ] because at the time LL was

battling everybody on record you know

what I'm saying he battling Kumo D

battle IC te battle you know he was just

he was the one that was trying to take

everybody head off and I was like yo I

want to come like LL so I could tear

this boy head off so I ended up doing my

[ __ ] and somehow

it went from me beatboxing to

him and for him to me telling him yo why

don't you do a beat for

me and he was like oh you got RS ready

today like just do a beat let me just

try

something so he did the

beat and I started off the rme on some

calm [ __ ] and then when I started to get

into the disrespect lines that's when

the the whole thing just started to

happen on its own like

my frustration and then me seeing the

people reacting to my

[ __ ] the way that I wanted them to it

just made me more confident more cocky

more charismatic and that's when the

whole bust of

Rhymes thing started to happen and my

name wasn't even Buster rhes at the time

I had a [ __ ] up rap name at the

time what was

it yo my name was terrible yo my name at

the

time I had two I had my name from being

a part of the 5% nation of the Gods and

Earth which that name was cooler that

was Lord tahim right but somehow I

abandoned that to

become like the rappers that had

three-part names right is there a reason

you're not telling me I'm getting to do

it I'm just trying to help with I'm

setting it up with the proper

prerequisite

so LL Cool J is a three-part name yeah

Jam Master J is a three-part name all of

the guys from The Fat Boys Prince Mary D

cool rock ski them dudes had three- part

names

right I changed my name to chill o ski

[Laughter]

that name is so [ __ ] terrible I know

I'm sorry

bro name was terrible and you know

what's so crazy I kept that name for a

long time because I really thought it

was the [ __ ] cuz I felt like Chill O ski

Chill O ski bro terrible I know it's

terrible but I I I really was proud of

like I got a three-part name like my

favorites and if you want to be like

your favorites you got to do the [ __ ]

that is a

replication of your favorites and

then I destroyed Charlie Brown so

bad that at the end of that night the

end of that little battle

that afternoon after school he he just

came over to the side and was like

yo we should be in a group

together and that's really the day that

I guess Buster Rhymes I guess it's a

catalyst moment the day Buster was born

you talked about how that kind of moment

helped you develop your style and your

charisma and the way you carried

yourself and from then till when you get

signed at 17 years old I'm curious about

what happens in that moment because

that's really you

know a lot of people at 12 years old or

10 years old or whatever want to be

hip-hop actors hip-hop stars or they

want to be whatever they want to be

musicians but very very few make it to

the top table what happens between the

playground that day and 17 years old you

getting signed when you look back and go

it was for that reason was it natural

Talent is it hard work is it all of the

above it it's all of the above but the

first thing for me was the

addiction to the

reaction that I was getting from the

people and I was seeing it and how it

felt in real time

and just just just looking at the fact

that I came up with

something in my crib by myself in my

bedroom that was fueled by a

determination of wanting to defend

myself like a

fight and a lot of the

times I don't think I might have said it

like this I've said it before but I

don't think I've said it a

lot I don't know if it would have been I

had the same desire to want to be in

hipop I had the same desire to want to

Ry DJ but I don't know if if that moment

didn't

happen I don't know if I would have

pursued being an

MC at that time it probably wouldn't

happen I've sat here with a lot of

people um who are Comedians and and

entertainers and actors and the biggest

movies in the world and it's so

interesting to me that there tends to be

an early Catalyst moment where they

perform maybe in front of the family at

Christmas or on stage or whatever it is

and they get this reaction and in that

moment that reaction does something to

them on a psychological level which

becomes as the word you used is the word

I hear becomes this addiction yeah and I

often wonder to myself because a lot of

other people will experience that

reaction and not develop the addiction

so the reaction it appears to is doing

something for those people that they

needed at that moment yes I needed it at

that moment I going to tell you

something it it actually happened before

that to want to be a MC happened in that

moment the addiction to entertaining

people that [ __ ] happened when I was

like seven eight years old maybe maybe

even six six years old because where it

started for me initially was you know at

the time and particularly like I was

saying how the neighborhood was back

then and how we was raising our house

back then my mother and my father you

know we had to go to bed at 9:00 on a

school night

and on the weekends when we was that

young we might be able to stay up until

about 10:00 but we still had to go to

bed by a certain

time when my mother had company or like

my father and they had like family and

friends or

you know they just had their little

grownup get

togethers and they get to drink in a

little bit sometimes you know they so

entertained by each other's company they

forget to send us to bed at 9 o00 they

playing music and [ __ ] and I used to

have to do things I would try to

creatively come up with ways to avoid

being sent to bed at 9 o'clock so when

they playing music the first thing that

I would always get into doing

is reenactments of Michael Jackson and

from The Jackson 5 and James Brown dance

routines so I used to do that [ __ ] and I

was nice with the [ __ ] split and

spinning around and [ __ ] and just

carrying

on I'm doing all type of [ __ ] and

I'm for hours until I literally would be

sweating through my clothes

but it was so entertaining that

sometimes the whole company that was

there for my family my mother and my

father they ended up cheering me on and

rooting me on to continue

and biging up my mom's about how much

talent her son has and was it not that

feeling then that you were chasing

that's what it was first that's what I

was saying like I I wasn't thinking

about being no rapper then but I I knew

what that feeling felt

like and I always wanted that

feeling and that feeling started in the

crib and then it translated into

me trying to get that attention in the

classrooms which turned me into a

jokester in the class so I would do [ __ ]

to get the attention of the crowd from

the class and became like this class

clown dude and I would get in trouble

and [ __ ] and then it translated from

That Into You Know Me break dancing and

doing all this hip-hop [ __ ] because I

loved hip-hop and I was starting to see

what what was being created as a

movement and what was being generated as

an interest that was taken over like it

didn't matter what else was cool at the

time when hip-hop started to really

become that

[ __ ] there was nothing more important

than knowing how to do something that

was a representation of hip-hop if you

was a graffiti artist and you was

[ __ ]

dope you became something that was like

on a celebrity status level but that's

when [ __ ] started putting

graffiti on clothes and everybody that

was involved with hip-hop or some kind

of representation of hip-hop became some

sort of celebrity so for me that's why I

wanted to learn how to do everything in

hip-hop because I still didn't know what

I wanted to do the DJ [ __ ] complicated

the break dancing [ __ ] I ain't like the

[ __ ] bruises I was getting all the

time you know what I'm saying

and the graffiti [ __ ] I was cool with it

but it was really when that situation

happened with me and C Brown that's now

when I found that I was able to get the

feeling of when I was this little boy

dancing for my parents and their

company and at the the same time I was

able to have that Spotlight on me being

the rapper guy so it's like all of this

[ __ ] became the thing that I started to

grow not only this appreciation for

it but I started to grow addicted to the

[ __ ] that is what I was expecting in

terms of like I was just trying to

figure out the psychological reason why

you became so addicted to this cuz

listen I come from a background where of

my friends started rapping and most of

them fell off and then there's like one

or two of them that just be it became

like their medication to some [ __ ] yeah

and I've always wondered why they just

like that individual just stuck at it

for all those years yeah but in that in

that answer we have the um I think the

biggest addiction for me out of all of

it was to be able to

say to my

father I wanted to be able to experience

the day

not knowing if it would ever come but it

was a serious serious thing like I used

to write the [ __ ] on my wall and just on

a piece of paper and I would stick it on

the

wall and it would say one

day I'm going

to get a deal I'm G sign a contract I'm

G come home with so much [ __ ]

money that I'm going be able to tell my

father I told you

so that's all I wanted to be able to do

and I wrote that [ __ ] and put it on the

wall and I would look at that [ __ ] every

day and and there would be days still

when he would tell me I got to come to

work and I would look at that

sign and then I would see him outside in

the

truck and I walk out that [ __ ] house

and I would be mad as

hell

angry

and what I do love about my father as I

got older is I

understood what he wanted he just wanted

to make

sure I wasn't wasting my time he built

this company he want to pass it down it

was love it's love it was he need his

son to

succeed I'm his pride and his joy and

failure is not an option with my father

and I guess where he came

from you know it's the same with my

mother my mother when I told her 18 I

wasn't going to University wouldn't

speak to me for years but she comes from

Nigeria she left school at 7 years old

she can't read or write today wow so I

was the only of her four kids I was the

only one that says I'm not going to

University right now she stood in my way

and said don't start a business etc etc

but in in my maturity I go she stood in

my way because she loved me absolutely

at the time and everyone goes a lot of

people go through especially sort of

immigrant immigrant kids

primarily yeah because that pain and

that struggle that suffering that they

come from that [ __ ] ain't no that's not

this [ __ ] that we was raised in that you

know me and you we obviously even if you

was born there you

wasn't you didn't spend your years there

to to experience the pain that they did

so you come here now you still don't

know they struggle they know though they

never going to forget and they obviously

want the best for their babies man

my father came to the Apollo to see us

and this what made him even more sure

about disrespecting me and disrespecting

the rap [ __ ] me and my my crew leaders

of the new school we had an opportunity

to perform at the Apollo at amateur

night at the Apollo and we get up there

and we got

booed badly booed one of the first times

you know when me and Charlie Brown

decided to form the group the guy

mystery that was with us originally

he got tired of the the weight there was

no real light at the end of the tunnel

if we was going to get an opportunity to

get a record deal he was selling drugs

in the street too he decided he wanted

to go back to the street and do that he

ain't want to be in a rap group no more

that's how room was made for Dinko to

get in the group cuz we still felt like

we needed to replace the third rapper we

got our Three rap dudes now it's me

Brown and Dinko and then I said yo we

need a DJ let me get my cousin so Milo

came and we ended up doing the show at

the Apollo

got booed and my father was even he was

hitting me with the I Told You So that

night see I tell you yo you waste your

time with this little idiot rapper boy

[ __ ] for come and work that's why I'm

going tell you for come to work so you

can learn some

stability and stop waste your time with

this rapper [ __ ] it's how you talking to

me we Still In the Venue really we ain't

even leave he just beating me in the

head with

this total dis

respect

but again at that time I I hated him for

it as we got older and I that day came

for me I got my my record deal when I

was 17

and what was it about you though was it

was it this was it the unique style and

the you had a completely different flow

that people were just drawn to that

raised the energy on every record you

touched it definitely was that and that

came completely from dance hall

influence right

so are you familiar with like Sting yeah

all right so sting clashes that used to

happen from the 80s all the way down M

the one thing that I saw in dance hall

culture that I wasn't seeing in hip-hop

was the way when dance hall artists was

getting busy and clashing in front of

that 105 ,000,000 people in that sting

audience the energy that they had to

have to make sure that they're

portraying themselves in a

way that was just more than the lyrics

It Was a a complete Showmanship that was

a collective of things it was the outfit

it was the jumping around it was the

kicking the foot it was the flinging

your hand and the way you was coming

through on the microphone and the flow

patterns and the the cleverness of the

lyrics and the punch lines it was all of

these

things and it was mindblowing to me

because I wasn't seeing that same thing

in Hip Hop in hip-hop you seeing dudes

just walking around you know they might

hold their crutch and they act like they

too cool to be that

animated me I love that [ __ ] I love kung

fu movies I love karate movies so all of

that

[ __ ] and the dancing up and the this and

and that and the foot this that I just

took all of that [ __ ] and I said I'mma

turn this into what I'm GNA do on these

stages and I think

that if I master this [ __ ] and I could

Master my

breathing and I don't exhaust myself too

soon try to jump around all over the

[ __ ] stage going crazy I think I

might become a dangerous [ __ ]

that's hard to compete with

because dudes are not moving like this

on no stage I'm going to all of the

shows I'm being a student I'm in the

clubs I'm in the street I'm everywhere

just to

see and learn and and and pull

inspiration from somewhere and I pulled

a lot of inspiration from different

places but that was when I found it like

looking at those Clash sting clashes and

jammies and killer monjaro like all that

man from Saxon and all of that that was

out here Tipper I and all of them man

like them dudes rais me it's so

interesting because what you've

described there is kind of like my

understanding of what creativity is

where you you pull from so many

different almost clouds of inspiration

to create a new one yeah and I was

thinking about I was thinking about your

kids you you said to me before we start

recording you got six kids and they're

around like 20 30 years old now

right based on what you now understand

about what made you stand out different

the the what it took in terms of your

mentality to use the word student there

if one of those kids comes to you now

and says Dad what are the fundamentals

that I can take from your journey up

until that point at say 21 years old

that

would increase my chance of success no

matter the industry what are those

fundamentals

so the fundamentals that I would give my

kids which I've

already feel like I've been given to

them is the first thing is

identify with what you

love and once you love it hone in on

that thing until you can Master it to

the point

where people can identify that there's

no questioning your love for

it that's the first thing

once you love it to the point

where your actions speak louder than

anything you could say about how much

you love it that is always the root of

whatever success is pre-ordained or

destined to come to you no matter what

it is that you choose to

do

because what is actually going to create

the Reverend

is that you're not doing it from a place

of trying to generate the

revenue you're going to do this [ __ ]

regardless so it's not about the money

for you you're fulfilling

something in your soul in your body

there's a feeling that even the money

can't give you there's people that have

this money and they still can't find

that feeling man and there's nothing

like

it this is a feeling that really exists

bro that can actually make you the

happiest person in the

world that happens to be my

music

because and and my children understand

now I love my children so much and I

love my family so much

I'm not playing with anything that I

know is going to allow me the

opportunity to make sure that I can show

them and I can take care of them and I

can without compromise find a way and a

means to securing of the well-being of

my family and I found something that I

love that has provided me those means

and the ability to do it and I don't

have to question how I'm going to get to

that on no day I could be sick I could

be I could be sick and in the hospital

and write a

song and even if I'm too weak to say

it I could give it to

somebody and work out whatever business

I need to work out with that person so

they still do that same song God willing

the success of that song

that hopefully is garnished reaches a

level of success based on this creation

from a feeling that I was inspired by or

from a feeling that I got that I can't

explain and I can't give to nobody other

than through this

music that will take care of not just my

family but it actually might take care

of filling a space in the millions of

people's lives that will hear this [ __ ]

that at some Point depending on the

impact of the song they [ __ ] around and

see you 20 years from now and become the

[ __ ] CEO of Google and will tell you

I am a

fan I love you what this [ __ ] song

did to for me when I was 10 now I'm

30 and at this moment when I was 10 I

remember wearing this little T-shirt

with a yellow [ __ ] balloon face on it

and I had my little bicycle out

died and my mother let me play with my

two friends two houses down we played

this [ __ ] song 10 times in a

row until we had to go

inside and that song changed my life and

it gave me the motivation to want to do

this thing evolve into this person think

a new way that allowed me to pursue

something that I found that I love and

now I'm a [ __ ] $200 million CEO in

Google I'm a fan of your [ __ ] you're

still doing what I love and I want to

sit down with you and figure out

something magical that we could do

together sounds addictive that's very

[ __ ]

addictive [ __ ] that that's the most

addictive [ __ ] in the world to me

because it's like that's that's greater

than man you can't teach somebody how to

do that that's not a book science that's

not

school you know what I'm saying that

[ __ ] is you identify with this

gift we all got the gift this something

that we've all been blessed with at some

point if we listen to that [ __ ]

little thing that speaks to us

inside some people call it Instinct some

people call it a Vibe some people call

it an energy whatever the [ __ ] you call

it some people call it a voice whatever

that thing is bro if it Sparks the

thought

that changes the whole

trajectory to what your life can evolve

into because you took a second to listen

to that

[ __ ] you are identifying with your

blessing you are identifying with your

gift and at that point you learn what

the [ __ ] it is and become one with it

and walk in your purpose bro so you

might instill this thing into the lives

of so many

people

that you live forever through this thing

that you've created that's not a man

thing no more that [ __ ] is deeper than

man I am absolutely addicted to that

because when you really think about it

that [ __ ] is something that's that's

Godly it's weird to me when people find

it strange when we call ourselves gods

and earth right because I'm

saying what do you want me to be you

want me to

be other than God anything other than

its original form is the worst state of

its own

existence because you're not even

functioning within the nature that you

was created to function in

so you can't make me call myself devil

likee because you think that it's a

Blasphemous act for me to say that I'm

Godly or I'm God like or I'm made in the

likeness of the most high that mentality

is why I function this

way because I refuse to think that there

is nothing that I can't

do Beyond

man beyond man if I could sit down here

and smoke a spliff and eat a bowl of

cereal and [ __ ] go y

when I step up in the place and when I

step your steps correct woa got you in

check and the whole [ __ ] planet is

doing it it don't matter what country I

go to and then I get to Sweden and they

telling me y y y yes yes yes yes yes I

ain't from Sweden I don't know that I

just was vibing and bugging out the weed

had me and filling

away nice little spliff little food

little bowl of cereal and I just was

joking in the crib and

Y [ __ ] was laughing in my house

I thought it was funny I did this [ __ ]

on the record I like funny but I also

like serious there's always a balance

between the guys that we found the most

entertainment from all of the dudes that

was on TV that we like that was the

[ __ ] criminals they was always funny

right alucino and Scarface he was a

serious [ __ ] but he was funny

Joe pesi and Good Fellas serious but

funny right we in the hood we love the

balance between serious and funny I try

to incorporate serious and funny and all

of my

[ __ ] bottom line is my children the

fundamentals I want to give you all find

it love it identify with what you love

become one with that thing pursue it to

the point where you become so engulfed

in it you don't know nothing else other

than that walk in your purpose is what

it evolves into what kind of human

beings do they need to be character

traits all right this is what it needs

to be

some of it might sound [ __ ]

up first thing is you got to be selfish

as

hell you gotta be

selfish I don't give a [ __ ] it's it's

it's it's the it's the sacrifice but

without great sacrifice and without

great risk does there is no such thing

as a great

[Music]

reward can't have one there that doesn't

there's no that math will never

math you know what I'm saying yeah you

have to have and I don't like this word

but I'm going to say it because it's

true you have to be a little maniacal

with the [ __ ] maniac right that word

isn't good in a lot of situations but

when you're pursuing your destiny when

you identify with your destiny you have

to be selfish you have to be maniacal

you have to be

uncompromising and

you have to move in a way when it comes

to those three things where you

function completely in a way where it's

an unwavering Faith like it don't matter

how [ __ ] up that [ __ ] might look it

don't matter how much it feel like it

ain't gonna work

delusional complete

delusion you got to believe the

delusion because it's only delusional

until it works

so is it really

delusional a [ __ ] only going to

call it delusion until it don't

work for nobody else to see but for the

whole world to see and then once the

world see it there's nothing delusional

about it now your delusion becomes oh he

was a [ __ ]

genius we didn't see it when he saw it

we didn't understand it when he did we

thought this mother [ __ ] was crazy but

he definitely always he always figured

this thing was the thing to do and he's

he stuck by that [ __ ] when you say

selfish obviously that word has got a

lot of different connotations and

meanings and but I heard from it that

the selfishness is focusing on serving

yourself and your dreams and your

mission like you were somewhat selfish

when you said I want to be a rapper even

though your father's saying I want you

to come and be an electrical contractor

that was selfish of you to say no I want

to take care of me

first that's selfish I'm meaning even

more extreme than

that

yes selfish to my father

because and in a way I don't want to I

don't want to look at it as what's

selfish to him I was just on some I

don't want to do what you want to do

that's not really being selfish that's

just having a difference in opinion

right selfish when I say selfish it

means my children

right I've had to miss moments that were

never going to get back I missed my

oldest son's High School

graduation I

missed one of my daughter's College

graduations I've

missed times when I should have been

there to

teach my child how to drive or I should

have been there to teach my child how to

ride out a

bike I missed a lot of that

right

and a lot of it had to do

with

circumstance and my circumstance which I

obviously contributed to creating for

myself I had to take responsibility for

these choices that I made and these

circumstances that I created for myself

and

the the situation that became a real

life situation for me left me very few

choices so there was a choice where I

could be there for everything and then

the money ain't where it need to be

or I'm going to do what I love not just

because I love it and it brings me joy

and it brings me peace of mind because I

would go to the

studio and when I'm in that studio and I

close the door and then I'm in those

four

walls I don't have to argue with a

child's

mother I don't have to argue with my

woman I don't get talk back from people

that choose to have a debate about [ __ ]

that ain't even worth debating about all

of the unnecessary

distractions I can leave outside of that

room room and when I'm in that room I am

fulfilling my

destiny I am

fulfilling my soul and I'm making myself

get to a place mentally where my peace

of mind is so where it needs to be that

not only am I allowed to become feel

think and evolve into whatever place my

mind takes me I'm then able to get to

that place emotionally spiritually

mentally create something put it in a

song change the effect that I can have

as an impact through this thing that I'm

blessed with as a gift and then I

could come down off of

that and be in a happier

place so that when I do get back around

the people that I got to argue

with I'm in a better place to deal with

done is there sort of guilt associated

with that as you've sort of matured and

and understood and you know had time to

reflect on missing those key moments I

worry about this a lot because I'm a

workaholic and I think my work is in

many respects some kind of psychological

Escape um and I I'm concerned that when

I do have a kid I've got a partner we've

been together four years I'm 31 now that

I might use my work as an excuse to not

be there or I might not make the adj

necessary adjustment to realize that I

only get one bike ride

moment so I'm going tell you

something there is no right way and no

wrong way when it comes to making that

decision other than what you know in

your

heart I definitely live with guilt I

feel like there was things that I could

have done with

out to be there for my

children but I also feel like that's me

saying that now

right I'm in a different place now in my

life than I was at that time and at that

time the mentality that I have now

didn't exist then right

and the mentality that needed to exist

then for me to get to this mentality now

was

important and it was a part of the

needed components to exist in my journey

for me to be able to have this

conversation now this mentality now was

that survival it definitely was

survival when you dealing with four

mothers all having you in court systems

all getting significant amount of money

for child

support all not in the best Place

relationship wise with

you sometimes business is up sometimes

business is

down you have to be able to be Swift and

changeable regardless of the

circumstances in order to stay

remain because no matter if business is

up or business is down the courts don't

care the child support that needs to

come every month the mothers need to see

it because they don't care

when your kids need what they

need they don't

care because they didn't ask for

this you can't create an

excuse that's how I was

raised your kid didn't ask to be put in

a situation that you cannot do what

you're supposed to do for them so that's

not their problem you have to find a

solution it's a little of pressure it's

a

lot it's a lot

but I also feel like when you identify

with your

gift that's part of the gift that's what

makes it the gift because the most high

usually don't give us more than we can

handle you know and with that being

said all of these things we talking

about which is one of the best questions

that I love that you asked right what

would I give my kids and I keep coming

back to that because I want my kids to

understand

that focus on what you love is most

primary being selfish and when I say

selfish not just my kids but even my

woman there might be a lot of [ __ ] she

want to do I'm

sorry I can't do it right

now I can't do it right now I could do

it later and then there's moments when

you can do it and you make the time and

you do it you know but until there's

another means

of me being able to do what I love and

find the Fulfillment that I find while

I'm doing what I

love this is also a part of who y'all

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that okay just for you guys moments in

our life I think help us to see things a

little bit more clearly and especially

when they're really um significant

moments and one of those moments that I

see in your story is in 2012 um where I

think you're 42 years old at the time

and your manager and friend Chris

dies rest in peace to

Chris Chris was all that I knew

everything everything that I I

learned after Chuck D and Hank shackling

them I learned it with Chris I learned

how to make my money with Chris my tax

brackets changeed with Chris my lawyers

Chang cuz Chris my booking agents

changed with Chris my touring

experiences changed with Chris my

ability to tell my mother to quit her

job and never had to look back to work

for nobody from 1995 to this day all of

that I did it with Chris that day when

you find out that Chris is pasted M can

you take me to that

day that day was so [ __ ] terrible

bro

wow his life changed when this woman

came into his

life I'm not going to dive too much into

that part

but I'm definitely going to say that

Chris's life changed not for the better

when she came

around

so once that happened it started to

change the energy amongst the Violator

family and I really wish because I don't

want this to be heard in a way where it

seemed like I'm [ __ ] on the woman

because I'm not [ __ ] on the woman

I'm acknowledging the reality of the

situation as you can see I'm not saying

nothing bad about the woman I'm just

talking about I'm I'm

acknowledging a time period where a

change transpired in a significant way

and it happened after this woman came

around that's

it long story

short I think his daughter was was

coming home from college and he he had

to go and

meet her at Grand Central Station in

Manhattan

so he asked me for a ride to Grand

Central

Station and

um I give him the lift to Grand Central

Station and that's the last day that I

saw

him the next

morning I get the call

from his

assistant that something happened to

him and I'm asking what happened to him

and they just said he hurt himself but

they didn't say you know that he was

dead it just was like he he hurt

himself the assistant called this young

lady I forget her name at the office and

when the young lady answered the phone

we're on the

three-way and she's crying and she's

screaming on the

phone

[Music]

and she just kept saying Chris Hur

herself Chris Hurt itself and the

assistant is asking her what exactly did

he do to

himself and she said she don't know he

just hurt

his and then we asked if he if he was

dead and then she she said she don't

know so when we got to Chris's

[Music]

home we couldn't go in the house and

uh it wasn't

until you saw the Corin van come

and when you saw the

van and then they reversed the van into

the

driveway to get us close to the

door of the

house CU it was a downstairs door and

then there was the regular door to go up

the stairs and you go in the house from

the front but whatever happened to him

it happened

downstairs cuz that's where his body was

and they went

inside and they um they brought them

black bags with them them body bags and

uh that's when it that's when it got

real that's when it changed everything

changed when you

saw you saw the

bags and

uh we knew um

when they came out the

uh when they came out the basement with

the bags and his body was in the

bags that's when you know Chris was

never coming

back so

uh you know the crying

started and a lot of arguing started

a threat

started and

uh my life was going in a whole another

Direction after

that and I didn't like

it cuz I was confused about how to

move and I was lost for a

minute because uh

I never really had to manage my career

without a

manager and he wasn't just a manager he

was my

brother so it got scary for a

minute I couldn't get it together that's

why I didn't put on no record for nine

years and

um I started to just do different type

of business with signing artist and

uh

um that's when we put out OT

Genesis and

um we had some really good success with

him and

um signed a few other artists you know

this one artist by the name of stove

stove God cooks and I signed

you know another young artist by the

name of murder Mo

and I

um I wasn't happy though with with just

doing it like that and I just I didn't

feel comfortable putting out music until

I got the right support system in place

and I I couldn't get it

together when you say you couldn't get

it together what does that what does

that mean that means like

psychologically you could couldn't get

it together psychologically I couldn't

get it together because I didn't feel

like I had a support system that I could

believe in enough to make me feel like I

am psychologically able to move with the

Comfort the confidence and the support

that I know I'm going to need and the

responsibility of trying to wear all of

the hats myself I was doing it but I

wasn't doing it at the level that Chris

Lighty was able to do it you agree g at

the same time absolutely because I lost

my father two years after

Chris the two most important male

figures in my

life Chris was gone 2012 I lost my

father

2014 and you had reconciled with him

before I definitely reconciled with him

before he passed the problem

is I didn't get to enjoy my time with

him once we got good so that was a

horrible feeling too

because it's

like all of the time that was wasted

[ __ ] not getting along was was

stupid [ __ ] stupid you know what I'm

saying that's part of the reason why I

started to really like get unhealthy and

[ __ ] up I was trying everything to

drown the pain and the frustration and

the

suffering of those losses

about overworking over drinking over

smoking weed and

cigarettes and it got so bad that I got

to the weight of 340 lbs I never been

that I'm I'm not even built to be that

heavy it's it's funny it's like I look

back at certain pictures and I looked at

how overweight I was I look at my skin

yeah there's certain pictures I had I

had these like marks on my face

I I hate those pictures like I see the

darkness in those pictures yo there's

this book called The Body holds the

score but the title is just the thing

that I I I've I've actually gained the

most from it just says that when there's

things going on in our psychology and

our mind the body will show it yeah man

we'll eat we'll drink we won't sleep but

you'll see it in the body before you see

it in the mind the mind is invisible

obviously right the body is the first

place to see it and I was reading

through that phase of your life and you

were on sort of breathing machines when

you were sleeping and things like I

wasn't on a breathing machine I had

sleep apnea sleep apnea yeah yeah yeah I

had sleep apnea I was um you drank

yourself into a coma at one point I

drank myself into not a coma I drank

myself into an inability to wake myself

up oh okay I had to be W woken up by my

son in my security in La it took like 45

minutes and we had just come back from

hanging out at a club called poppies he

sat me down the next day he was like

listen I don't want to hurt your

feelings cuz you're my

father and I don't even know if I got

the strength to say it to you now but I

had a conversation with the

security I need you to listen to them

because I'm too scared to tell you how I

feel that's how bad it

was my son ain't never speak to me like

that in my life but I needed to hear

it but he couldn't even say it to me

because that's how much he

still was trying to protect my

feelings but this is the first time that

I knew I really disappointed my

son all that Bust Around [ __ ] was cool

up until this

moment when he saw this

[ __ ] and he been seeing it but this is

when it hits the low that conversation

[ __ ] me up the next day the doctor

with the prednisone and I went to the

doctor I'm breathing so [ __ ] up that

outside of the door the doctor was like

yo why you breathing like that and he

wasn't even in the room with me he's

coming in the room and I said breathing

like what because I was doing it this so

for so long over the last three years

that I was it was starting to sound

normal to me the doctor said I'm sending

you to the hospital cuz he stuck this

[ __ ] in my throat and when he saw how

big the [ __ ] palps was it blocked 90%

of my breathing

passage he said if he sends me home and

I take a shower and the central air

system is blowing and I catch a draft

that can lead to me catching a cold and

that last 10% of my breathing gets

blocked up because of a swollen gr from

a sore throat or some [ __ ] I can die in

my sleep that

night he said I got to call an ambulance

for you I'm in California La he says I

need you to go right now to UCL Medical

Center into the emergency room and I'm

going to call the head person at the

hospital to have them admit you

immediately you need to go into surgery

tomorrow I said I ain't going in no

ambulance he said well then you have to

sign this document that will exemplify

me if you don't listen and something

happens and you die between now when you

get to the hospital I ain't never been

spoken to like this in my

life this is when I knew this [ __ ] was

crazy my son now I'm calling him telling

him to meet me at the hospital we get to

the hospital and I'm in the doctor's

office and they doing all little

preliminary [ __ ] before they got to

admit me into the

emergency my son is talking to me and he

tells

me I thought you was going to die last

night and I ain't never been this scared

that but I'm I'm scared you're gonna die

I lost Grandpa already I can't lose you

too can you please stop drinking can you

please stop smoking can you please get

back to the daddy that I know you to

be finished

me at that

point I made up my mind I'mma get this

surgery when I get this surgery I'm

going to get in shape I go home on the

way home Dexter

Jackson bodybuilder competitor who's to

compete in the Olympia he

became a Mr Olympia champ this man pops

up in my

stories driving in his car in

Jacksonville Florida and he spit

the vocals to put your hands when my

eyes could see and then I hit him in the

DM and I said Mr Jackson I'm a huge fan

of you as a professional

bodybuilder is there any way that we

could get on the phone I need your

help he hits me back he sends me his

number I call him on the

phone I

said thanks for calling me I salute you

Mr Jackson can we please figure out a

way to get me back in shape and man said

to me you saw you ready bus and I said

absolutely he said you got to come to

Jacksonville and you got to stay here

for 30

days tell your girl she can't come tell

your kids you'll see them in 30 days I

need to put you through something for 30

days before we continue this journey you

survived this 30 days I know you serious

I rented a [ __ ] Mansion for

like seven bedrooms I went and got a

cameraman to document it my meal prep

Chef M massuse cuz I knew that that

workout was going to [ __ ] me up every

day and I needed somebody to rub these

muscles up I got my recording engineer

so I didn't need to leave the house I

got an

assistant

and that was about it stayed in the

[ __ ] crib for 30 days lost about 27

pounds in 30 days

days these

dudes that I'm surrounded

by by way of my first bodybuilding

competitor trainer Victor Munoz and my

second primary trainer the legendary Mr

Olympia himself Dexter Jackson I was

able to get my [ __ ] together

bro and once I got my health and once I

got my mind and I got my spirit right

and I started to be proud of me when I