I'm Dr. Orion Taban and this is Psychax

Better Living Through Psychology. And

the topic of today's short talk is

height. More specifically, I'm going to

be examining how height exerts an

influence on the sexual marketplace.

Let's get into this long requested

episode. Look, height is a thing. Any

guy who's not at least 6 feet tall knows

this to be true. So there's no point in

trying to pretend that it isn't. Not

only does height matter in women's

sexual selection, it matters a lot more

than it probably should. There is a

profound halo effect associated with

men's heights. Men who are tall and

imposing are often also presumed to be

competent and confident leaders, whether

they actually possess those qualities or

not. This can help explain why although

only 14% of American men are over 6t

tall, roughly half of all Fortune 500

CEOs are that height. Now over the

course of a lifetime many tall men do

become aligned with these projections

and cultivate these qualities in

themselves but maybe just as often many

tall men don't. Still their stature

gives them an enormous advantage in the

social millu which is probably a big

part of why height is correlated with

increased life satisfaction in men. It's

not their height that does this per se.

It's all the opportunities created out

of the perception of others. And this

halo effect clearly extends into the

sexual marketplace. I've talked to

multiple women, I [ __ ] you not, who have

literally told me that they often can't

tell whether a man is cute or if he's

just tall. Like that's how much height

[ __ ] with the female perception. The

man could be as ugly as sin. But if he's

6'4, there are going to be women who

will line up to sleep with him because

they can't [ __ ] tell the difference.

That's how much height shortcircuits the

female brain. Now, and this is important

because I think that we have a grossly

distorted view of averages in this case.

The average man in America is 59,

which is already significantly above the

global male average of 56.

And the average American woman is around

53.

But perhaps you've heard that roughly

half,

49% of all women on dating apps set

their height filters to 6 feet tall. As

already mentioned, only 14% of American

men are that tall, and only 25% of men

over 30 are single. Taken together, this

means that a great deal of women in the

US are attempting to date the same very

small percentage of men. And this of

course both radically increases those

women's intraexual competition and those

men's optionality, driving down the

likelihood that any of those men will

commit to any of those women.

It can be tedious to listen to men

complain about the unfair advantages

enjoyed by their taller competitors, but

it really does distort the entire sexual

marketplace. So much so that men who are

average height, not short,

not short, just average, are

increasingly functionally invisible to a

growing majority of women. Like women,

imagine you were just average

attractive, which spoiler alert, you

probably are, and having 90% of men just

ignore you. You could be charming or

smart or funny or rich, but because you

were just averagel looking, not ugly,

mind you, just average, the vast

majority of men would just never give

you a shot. That would be tough,

wouldn't it?

And there just isn't much a guy can do

about his height. Short of getting

stilts implanted in his shins, which I

would not recommend, he is the height

that he is. It might mean that he is at

an unfair advantage in life and in the

sexual marketplace in particular, but

them's the brakes. On some level, he

will need to make peace with this fact

lest he be consumed with envy or

despair. And of course, there are things

that he can change about himself that

will help to even the odds. First and

foremost, if you're short, you got to

take care of your body. Like, one of the

silver linings associated with being on

the shorter side is that you can build

muscle and see definition more quickly.

It's hard to get big when you're tall,

but at like 5'7, you can see some

significant changes in just a few

months. Work on your physique. Maintain

a low body fat percentage and put in the

effort to build a muscular frame

proportional to your stature. Being

well-dressed, as in wearing clothes that

accentuate that physique, doesn't hurt

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Next, make [ __ ] money. There's no way

around this. If you're short, then you

got to take care of your finances. Yes,

a short man might not ever inspire the

kind of dumb, stupid attraction in a

woman that a tall man can, but money is

a huge equalizer here. Wealthy men can

and do beat out their taller competitors

in the game of mating and dating all the

time. In fact, I read an interesting

study recently that attempted to

quantify the monetary value of height in

the sexual marketplace. The idea was to

identify the amount of additional money

a man would need to earn every year to

be perceived by women as equally

desirable as a man who is 5' 11 12 in

tall and earns $100,000 a year. The

results were fascinating.

For example, the study found that a man

who is 5'8

would have to earn an additional

$138,000

a year to be seen by women as equally

desirable. That's a total of $238,000

a year. Only 5% of individual earners in

the US make that much to put that in

perspective. And the incredible thing is

that the standard of comparison in this

study, the guy who would only have to

earn 100K would still be ignored by half

of women because at 5' 11 1/2 in tall,

he was under 6 ft.

The lesson here is that if you can't be

in the top 14% by height, you better be

in the top 5% by earning. Now, making an

additional $138,000 a year is no small

thing, but it might be smaller than

growing an additional 32 1/2 in as an

adult. Fortunately, earning money just

makes your life better overall, and it's

something you should do irrespective of

your success in the sexual marketplace.

Don't be misled by those who make a

virtue out of a necessity. Being rich is

way better than being poor. So if you're

short, then be short and jacked and

rich. Your physique and your finances

are things that you actually have

control over. Which brings me to point

number three. As previously mentioned,

it's essential that you make peace with

your height. That is with that which you

cannot control. And one way to

facilitate this is to have a sort of

dignified contempt for that which

resides outside your domain of control.

I am 5'11 and I have a little joke about

my height. Namely, that God didn't make

me six feet so there would be some women

for the rest of you guys. Like God had

to handicap me a bit otherwise I would

just be unstoppable. Now, is that a

cope? Yes. Is it entirely true? No. But

is it psychologically healthy? Yeah,

kind of. Like, there is nothing I can do

about being 5'11. It is what it is. So,

I found a humorous way to reframe that

which resides outside of my domain of

control to my overall advantage in that

not being inherently unstoppable has

absolutely forced me to get better in

other respects. Like, if I were 6'3,

would I have become a doctor?

Maybe not. My dudes, there is such a

thing as varsity quarterback syndrome.

Guys who are tall and genetically

attractive, that is guys who enjoy a lot

of early success in the sexual

marketplace, are often not very

ambitious. And on some level, why would

they be? Especially considering that the

end goal of most ambition is to enjoy

better sexual optionality. If you can

get that optionality directly, then

there's no need to arrive there

indirectly through extensive effort.

Right?

So, there might be something to being

handicapped. Like, my life is way better

than it was when I was younger. And it

could very well be that some of those

early experiences motivated me to become

who I am today. I like who I am today.

As I discuss in my episode, The Force of

Revenge, these experiences are rocket

fuel for personal and professional

development if utilized properly.

Whether we like it or not, handicaps

force us to get better, at least if we

have any hope of a decent life.

And that's the attitude that I'd like

shorter guys to consider adopting.

Namely, I can still win. Even with this

real disadvantage, I can still win. I

can get the girl. I can get the money. I

can get the strength and the status and

the success. It's kind of like bragging

that you could win even with one hand

tied behind your back, which is

convenient because at like 5'8, you kind

of do have one hand tied behind your

back. That's the right attitude. Is it a

cope? Yes. Is it entirely true? No.

However, is it useful and healthy and

true to some extent? Abso fuckingutely.

Because what's the alternative?

complaining about it ain't going to

work. Like, no one is going to have any

sympathy for you, my guys. So, unless

you want to just check out of it all and

wallow in hopelessness, which I would

not recommend, you got to do what you

can do to improve your situation. Focus

on what is within your domain of

control. your friends, your physique,

your finances, your mindset, and remind

yourself that the other [ __ ] doesn't

really [ __ ] matter until you believe

it. Because you know what? That's

actually kind of true. The rest is just

an accident of birth. It has nothing to

do with the man himself, like the person

inside the body. Remind yourself that

effortless success might be a kind of

liability. This is a psychological

adaptation that will protect you from

becoming cynical or hopeless and that

will support you in cultivating a

positive self-image. That's why you

[ __ ] do it. Use your circumstances to

become even better than you otherwise

would be and revel in your success when

you achieve it. What do you think? Does

this fit with your own experience? Let

me know in the comments below. Please

send this episode to someone who you

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yours truly can learn more on my

website. There's also my books, The

Value of Others, in which I explore my

economic model of relationships and Star

Night, my novel, which explores the

final weeks of painter Vincent Van Go's

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appreciate your support and thank you

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