no one has ever asked me the questions

that you've asked me today

[Music]

releasing new music first time in like

three years this time i'm [ __ ]

myself

i remember that video of you

you found out your net worth oh yeah

that's ten [ __ ] million quid sitting

about somewhere where the [ __ ] is it no

label would ever tell you that is the

strategy to become successful you can

philly just put a picture of you wear

towel wraps on your head and these

stupid glasses and we are top off on a

big massive poster on the tube it's less

about being like a polished [ __ ] pop

star whatever people see through that

[ __ ]

you are living an extraordinarily

unhuman life what is the reality i have

really bad anxiety i've never reached a

tipping point until after getting famous

i [ __ ] hate recording albums despise

doing music videos i only do all that

stuff because playing live is this

[ __ ] unparalleled thing that you

can't compare to anything else so like

when that was making me feel shy if it's

like [ __ ] i don't know if i can do any

of this [ __ ] anymore

my dad gave me i left home from the

airport one night and i was twitching

like [ __ ] to the point where he started

crying in the car i couldn't concentrate

on work i was doing because i was so

convinced that i was gonna die

what is the question that no one asks

you that would reveal the most untapped

answer

i think

before this conversation starts i've got

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i'm stephen butler and this is the dire

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yourself

[Music]

lewis hello

when you look back and i was reading

about your childhood i found it really

fascinating when you look back at those

um early

early early dots that you i think

sometimes in hindsight we can connect

and go ah

that was the reason i became the person

i am today well that was a really

significant early moment what were those

first early dots that you connect and go

that's why

i ended up where i am

today um i think for me it's probably

the first one i can remember is like

being i remember just being on holiday

in france we used to go on these mad

like

caravan holidays in france me my mom my

dad and my

two older brothers my older sister and

uh there was like i don't know for some

reason i had become obsessed with queen

i must have been like four years old um

but like we got like a cd and the like

one of you remember those free cd

newspapers like oh yeah well you would

pull out stuff so we got that

and it had like we were rocky by queen

on it

and i had

we are the champions as well and i

remember like just i became obsessed

with and i was like listening all the

way through don't they um

we were going so we drove from scotland

to france so it was like i just remember

listening to that constantly on repeat

and then being i don't know if i'd ever

showed an interest in

singing prior to this or being a singer

but

i remember

we were at like one of those like cat

like a band was playing it was like a

karaoke thing like one of the family

entertainment nights or whatever and

then for some reason i just like asked

if i could go up and sing and we were

rocky by queen um

and it was glad and i went up and i did

it and there's a picture of me doing it

like i'm tiny and i've got this maker

foreign

so i did it and then i think

i've got a buzz for whatever and for

whatever reason i asked if i could go

back up and do another song and i did

another song and it was like for me

that's the first kind of memory of like

this like singing and getting a buzz for

like

well i'm up here and i'm doing this

thing in front of people it's like again

i i have no other memory of like

singing prior to that but this was like

just the first time i'd ever like got up

in front of people and sang and been

like oh this is like a

oh he bit of a buzz like even at four i

mean which is

mad to think now but like um yeah i

don't know what

sort of possessed me to get up and do it

but it was so that must have been

[ __ ] i don't know like i would have

been

like 2 000 or something maybe that

happened um

but yeah i still don't i still can't

like

put a finger on why i did it or what

what the reason was for getting up on it

but um you're four years old four years

old yeah yeah it was it was a strange

one and it was like a like a party or

something it was like uh like you call

these [ __ ] it's kind of like these

kind of package holidays that you go on

my family they have like kids clubs and

they have like entertainment nights so

it's like everyone kind of congregates

in this

theater kind of but in the middle and

it's like

then they have a on and they have like

i don't know [ __ ] puppet show or

something like i don't know i can't

really remember i haven't i haven't been

back since

i don't often hang around

they didn't put me back but um

but yeah so then it was like um yeah it

was just that it was that was the first

time we did it and it was

yeah i can't

i can't i can't put my finger on why

what were you like at that age at that

sort of under 10 age in terms of

confidence and because to say you know i

want to go up on stage and sing in a

bunch a group of friends strangers seems

like quite an

abnormal thing for a child to volunteer

to do toy um i think prior to being like

10

and prior to like

i don't know yeah probably go to high

school or whatever on that maybe not

even like that but like

when i was younger i was definitely

quite

like outgoing i'd say like i was quite

i remember i watched them

when i was like five i watched austin

powell's like i was like religiously

watching austin powers i don't know why

my parents allowed me to do that but

like i would like go to family parties

and be asked to recite like i'm a fat

bastard at austin post like the big fat

guy that he pleased please

i'd be asked to like recite

parts of his thing and i would do it in

front of everybody you know the rest of

it was but it was never like again it

was never singing it was just like

acting the goat and like take the piss

and

yeah i would get up and do recite all

these fat bastard bits and [ __ ]

um so yeah i was definitely like more i

was definitely like a

an outgoing kid i think

um i definitely like to be

i was probably allowed and i kind of

like to be like

i guess i i i kind of like people for

feedback yeah yeah i like feedback i

like people watching me do things i like

seeing people enjoying something that i

was doing do you know why um i don't

know

it's

it's a strange one because i i never i

guess i never put much thought into when

i was five or whatever but i don't know

if it's like

i don't know if maybe like making a like

my parents laugh or something made me

feel like oh that's a buzzer whatever or

like

i don't know yeah i've sat here with

quite a lot of comedians you know jimmy

carr

russell kane russell howard and and

that's been one of the really

fascinating things for me is like trying

to find out why at a young age

they got a real buzz from

performing and making people laugh and

actually i think it was jimmy carr that

said something to me he said

instead of you know because there's this

kind of stereotype that you do that

because you're depressed and you're

trying to i don't know but jimmy carr

said to me when when you see that

behavior in a comedian don't ask them if

they're depressed ask them which one of

their parents were they trying to cheer

up all right well interesting yeah

that's as interesting i don't know my

parents

when when i was i went to a therapist a

couple years ago who had said my

my mum's mum died when i was three

of like cancer

not like cancer that was cancer

and then a year after her aunt

like committed suicide um who was

and sorry my mum's sister my aunt

committed suicide so my mom lost her mom

and her sister in like

the set like within a year of each other

so i don't know if maybe that's like

i'm quite like a hypochondriac and i'm

i'm kind of like

i always think i'm out of dying and when

i was younger my mom used to talk man i

used to always be like have you locked

the doors like even when i was like four

or five or whatever and a therapist told

me that was kind of like that might be

because of like being exposed to the

fact that people

are gone like people

disappear people aren't like i was aware

of what death was at a young age so i

don't know if maybe that's like

having seen

like that sort of like that sort of like

profound sadness

and my mum when she's like

lost her mom and lost her sister i don't

remember that's was it profound sadness

that you saw oh for sure like i mean

it's obviously i mean i can't imagine

losing

my mom at this i mean i'm 25 my mum

would have been 34 when she lost her mom

um so

yeah for sure like i still i have like

like vivid memories like

going into my mum's room she was crying

a bit i think this might have been my

man died but her crying in bed

and talking about like

and then being like having to tell me

all like

you know i passed away or whatever or

like i just didn't i wasn't feeling

aware of what was going on but i just

saw her so

like heartbroken and so

yeah so distraught that this happened so

i don't know maybe that's that's an

interesting thought of like i don't know

if maybe that's fed into it and like

me doing anything i could to like either

cheer them up or distract them whatever

i don't know but um

but yeah it's an interest in him

how old were you when that happened

i was three with my granddad and

three and three

quarters

when my aunt er come out suicide

so i was i was young for sure

it's it's really i don't think people

realize how much kids can feel the pain

of their parents right

i had an incident with my um

sister-in-law and her her and my niece

where my

probably the instance that taught me

this lesson when my sister-in-law was

crying um was upset about something and

i just looked down at my knees and my

niece is glued up and my niece explodes

in tears as well yeah that kind of

relationship we have like of intuitively

knowing if our parents are feeling

something

of course i think that yeah i think as

the people kids do i mean it's a thing

now where people are kind of talking

about more kids to see a lot more i

actually watched that in joel wick's

documentary a few weeks ago when he was

talking about his parents addictions and

things and he says like yeah kids see

so much more and are aware of so much

more than we actually know i i totally

agree because even now if i'm at a

funeral it could be for someone i have

never met in my life

but my mum knew them if i turned around

and my mum's crying right yeah like it's

a mess so it's like something that's

like obviously

learnt like you see your mum crying it's

listen

it's one of the worst things you can

possibly see your mom or your dad or any

of your brother's sister's

unpaid or crying or like um really going

through something and i think

yeah it's something that just does even

though it

sticks with you and fears i read the

study about these monkeys these recess

monkeys and it showed that if the mother

recess monkey had a phobia of spiders

then all of the babies would be scared

whenever they saw a spider and that kind

of show you you're talking about

hypochondria there you're talking about

like um using your parents as a steer as

to what is dangerous what is sad you

know all those things do you think that

you're you you said you had like a

hypochondriac yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

yeah do you think that came from

your mother's caution i think it's not

necessarily my mom's

she's not like uh she is like the least

like if i phone and i say mom i've got a

headache i'm dizzy i think i've got like

a tumor or something she'll be like

shut the [ __ ] up you're fine like listen

take some paracetamol go to sleep you'll

be grand i'll see you later my dad

is a very

i the older i get the more i understand

that my dad i get all my anxieties and

things from my dad my dad's like a

worrier for sure and he

he's a catastrophizer as well like his

mind goes to like

yeah the other day he went um to chat he

went to my brother's house chat from the

door my brother never answered my

brother was in the shower

and uh my dad had convinced himself

there was a gas leak in the house and my

brother like an immediate jump like no

no like like stepping ladder to that it

was chat the door no answer chat with

her again right gas leak if something's

wrong banging the door my brother comes

out and i tell and he's like what the

[ __ ] are you doing this is like mental

and my dad's but that's like i mean it

comes from like an amazing place but

it's something that he just

has in his mind and i think he he's a

hypochondriac as well he kind of

has

yeah i i think i've learned that from

him in the sense that he's he's a he's a

warrior in that sense but i do think

that

because i never thought about the

my aunt and

grandmother passing away is like a

a big thing in my childhood i just which

is which now when i say that out loud

it sounds mental because when i'm like

oh it wasn't a big thing however but

like

so i think it's probably that like that

sort of like

awareness of death and awareness that

you're not around forever and your

parents like because then immediately

i'm like oh my mom's passing away like

my mum will probably like i mean that's

immediately in your head as a kid so um

i i can't remember why i got into asking

with her about like locking the door

when i was

a kid and she was have you looked i

don't understand and i still don't

remember how that became a thing

but um but yeah no so i think

i definitely get a lot of my

hypochondria and my worry and my anxiety

from my father

and my my mother's quite quite calm cool

and collected if i'm

the older i get the more i'm realizing

that's what i mean

but yeah

i sat here with um a guy called jack

jack mate he's called and he talked

about health anxiety in ocd and he

really opened up about it and i you know

people use these terms flippantly they

said i've got ocd i've got i'm sorry i'm

hyper conjunct and they use them so

flippantly to describe like the tiniest

little

something's not neat i've got ocd or uh

you know you you might

find a lump and go you know jokingly say

it's this and yeah then someone will

flip and they sell you're a

hypochondriac but the reality

of

being a hyper contract or ocd is as jack

taught me it's very very different

mm-hmm talk about saying what is the

reality so i think so that i i've got i

have really bad anxiety

like anyway but which i never really

had never reached a tipping point until

after

like

getting famous i never had a panic

attack until after i was famous or after

i was a musician or after this was like

after they got to like a height

um but the hypochondria i get i guess

like looking back now i'm like oh i was

like such an anxious kid but then

because now i understand that a lot more

and i've got a therapy and i speak about

it with people and i'm trying to learn a

bit more about it i kind of look back at

things at that time

and realized that that that the behavior

was was the result of

anxiety but that hypochondria thing was

probably where it was started and it was

like

i would be like

i'd be walking around school like moping

and [ __ ] like

black sort of like blink of a blanket

for you and everything and i was just

like couldn't concentrate on work i was

doing because i was so convinced that i

was gonna die and that i had this

[ __ ] horrible disease and that

um

that yeah that that i was good that i

was going to be over and i was going to

have to go to hospital

i was going to pass out or have a

seizure i've never done none of that has

ever happened to me i've nev i've

touched wood never been in hospital for

anything serious i've never broken a

bone i've never

had any major i've never had a surgery

i've never had any major illnesses or

anything like that um

at school when i was in primary school i

never missed a day off i never had a day

off i was always

never had i was never ill

um

secondary school i was off once like so

it wasn't like it wasn't like um i had

calls for any of this it was just like

in my head just thinking and i think

maybe that's a thing as well of like i

don't know if that maybe never actually

being ill

i didn't know what being really hell

felt like so my mind would maybe maybe

conjure something up in that respect

but um but yeah no at the school it just

became sometimes it could become like

just

really like

again at the time i didn't understand it

i and and the symptoms of anxiety like

being dizzy and [ __ ] i used to kind

of always go like

i just think big deep breaths

um all the time and and i used to make

this noise which i still make when i go

like

um

and it's like

i found so basically and now looking

back i realize that's all anxiety and

actually got diagnosed with tourette's

like

two months ago or something like that

really yeah yeah which was which was to

me made

when they said i was like oh that kind

of makes [ __ ] sense because i always

thought tourette's like [ __ ]

on that i didn't realize it could just

be like

text bodily thingies but um so i kind of

yeah as i say like looking back and i

realized it was all anxiety but

if i thought i had a brain tumor and i

was like

um

and i was like worrying about it so much

and getting access that i was dizzy that

would then feed back into the

oh i've got a branch in because i'm busy

all the time why else would that be does

it i mean i even got so bad a couple of

years ago

um

that i paid i went and paid for an mri

scan cancelled i've met play austin set

a limits festival um in austin and i

just had to cancel the trip because that

my anxiety about i think there's someone

serious around me i got so bad that i

was i can't get on a plane and go to

austin and be away from home i need to

go get an mri scan or i need to [ __ ]

really see what it's going about so i

went and got it and obviously there was

nothing in my head

that was fine and no one can talk you

out of those when you're in that moment

call your mom you call your friends you

tell people no one can talk you out of

it i can do it now because i've like

done therapies and i've kind of been

able to

sort of

understand my own anxiety and stuff a

bit more like

that has made it easier for me to kind

of talk myself out of

these kind of

situation at least kind of holes that i

can dig myself in my head

my mum's also very good at my dad's

absolutely useless because

because he's [ __ ] like he's anxious

himself

he's just like [ __ ] all right he's

he's mental but um

so my mom yeah she's she's really good

at like if i'm having if i'm having a

panic attack

my mom has to like there's nobody else

that can like

taught me a little bit for sure

definitely

like that by the way my mom has had to

sleep

in my bed

as as recently as like a month ago

because of how bad

my anxiety got at one point but i think

that was that was alcohol related that

had been on a bit of a bend a couple

days before but like it gets to a point

where i'm like

i can't

i just can't [ __ ]

i can't envision like i can't

like

i can't

imagine

at not being something like

life-threatening or like

super serious because of how [ __ ]

like sometimes like things don't feel

real

someone who'll say something to me and i

won't understand what they're saying

like it's [ __ ] it gets like proper

proper intent um

but yeah that's kind of the hypochondria

as i've got older is as lesson it's only

when i start to have a panic attack or

like i start to get really anxious

that i'll go right that's i think so i'm

dizzy

that's probably anxiety you're fine i

know there's a voice in the back of my

head that goes but what if it isn't

worth something wrong with me what if

you're about to pass out

and then in some situations i just i get

my head tells me like oh you're about to

have a panic attack you're going to have

like

and then that is enough like that's

enough hypochondria like yeah it's mad

um

so as it's still something like ongoing

like that that i deal with but um

it's definitely getting better i've i've

started taking like

my medication for it i've seen a

therapist more regularly

um

again the tourettes thing was like a

good

sort of

a look like and it was kind of nice to

hear because i started doing this but i

twist my shoulder it's actually okay

today but um

that became

so like bad that i was like this has to

be [ __ ]

something serious like more neuron

disease juggling all that [ __ ] and like

again just the wheels starting turning

and all rested so

that finding out the tourist thing was

fact was like a nice sort of like oh

that's okay that's cool because i don't

mind like i don't i never really think

that like i have like a mental illness

of any sort i just think sometimes i get

really anxious and it's fine you know

what i mean it's like it's just one of

those things but i don't see it as like

this big thing i'm quite like

i'll talk to anybody about it if i'm

having a panic attack room i'll be like

i'm having a panic attack by the way so

just

do with that information what you will

and you said that on stage before yeah

i've done it on stage i had the panic

attacks on stage we

actually we played

and we did an arena tour in march 2020

like right up and like just before

covert kicked off

and i don't know it was like

obviously it was like basically it was

kind of the combination of this album

campaign that we had done for the last

record and

things were great and it was like we

played australia and done some amazing

shows in australia in january

europe in february

and then march was

come back like kind of nice sort of

[ __ ] victory lap

look what we've done this is great

arenas can't believe we're doing this in

first album amazing it was the worst two

weeks of my life that was [ __ ] [ __ ] i

hated every minute of it like if you

look at videos of me on stage i'm doing

this twitch

that was so bad that it was just

like i was i couldn't speak between

songs i couldn't i could i had to stop

songs and start over again

i saw lots of tweets

one being like

particular that was like all loose is on

with fully on cocaine like [ __ ]

there's like twitching [ __ ] and all

that [ __ ] and then obviously i'm like oh

no people think i'm cookie and that feel

feeds out of my

thing i do i mean i don't and it was

[ __ ] it was but i was [ __ ]

horrible and i think i played the first

two shows were in glasgow they were like

the first two arena kicks from glasgow i

remember walking out and

this is like a kind of big colosseum

thing in the hydro in glasgow

and it's like i'm walking out into the

middle of the

arena empty arena with mum and dad my

sister and looking around the me like oh

[ __ ] this is like

it was just i think things had got to a

point

where they were bigger than

like i was seeing how big it had gone

like during the first time because

the way it worked was

my songs had gotten

we were kind of always playing catch up

with ourselves in terms of

the size of venues we were doing so like

when we could have done 2 000 cap rooms

we were doing a thousand cat rooms and

then

like so on and so forth so it became

like

it was kind of nice because i was like

oh this is great like

songs flying

like that next song's done really well

as well

like we're playing these knife rooms

that the crowds are meant oh this is

class and i think yeah the the arena was

like the arena shows were like oh [ __ ]

this is

real this is huge there's a difference

between 2 000 because that's another

thing i've got about an issue with

especially in the uk it's really hard to

go from 2 000 capacity rooms to 16 000

capacity rooms it's like there's very

rarely in between when i probably can do

like 10 you can do it like five and

places but it was just like [ __ ] this

is like a big jump

and in that thing of like disappointing

people really came in here and then just

like

i don't mind support become being a

support act i always love because if i'm

shy no one gives a [ __ ] because it's

like

who cares who's that who is this guy

later i mean we did supported sam smith

on tour

and like they were really gracious and

have this on and uh but everyone's there

to see sam no one's there to see

me like i mean so if i go out and have a

shake gig it's like

grant i'm [ __ ] off this is great i

mean so uh

but when it's like people have bought a

ticket to see you it's not a festival

where there's loads of other people on

yeah literally you it just became quite

it was quite intense how old were you

then when you walked out with your

family into that gig and you looked up

at the stadium 23 23 23 years old um

it was my yeah it was intense i think

it's because as well like

i just maybe i think in my head i was

like oh you you can't as i've got i've

got really bad like and everybody i

speak to who's done well this like

imposter syndrome thing where it's like

i don't deserve to be doing this what

the [ __ ] it like why am i

[ __ ] up here doing this i feel like a

[ __ ] absolute

like

i don't know just like a [ __ ] that i

shouldn't i shouldn't be in this

position and i've always had it and it's

like we do the self-deprecating pattern

like on [ __ ] interviews and stuff

which i do love is like take the past

but like

the the important stuff i had never been

more

insecure and unsure of myself than after

i did really well that's so interesting

yeah because i've heard that before yeah

yeah like like even now like

going back to writing new music after

we've done these [ __ ] shows it's like

i thought i was gonna go in and be like

right i've had a couple of hits

relax guys here we go this is gonna be

lovely easy-peasy i was [ __ ]

second-guessing myself all the time

i was like

i would start writing a song and then

immediately no that's [ __ ] like just

constantly like

self-sort of like

like just [ __ ] just ah that's [ __ ]

that [ __ ] that [ __ ] like

looking at what we did before

obviously covered happened you have all

this time to kind of like

look back on everything you go oh for

[ __ ] sake that was kind of got a away

from us about there

the song one of the songs went number

one in america and i was like there's no

way i can do that again does that just

seems like such a

such a [ __ ]

um

such a [ __ ] claim and something that

i'm just not capable of i don't it feels

like someone else did it

so i mean

and now i'm like oh no i'm comparing

yourself to that person yeah i'm like

lumped it's like we were saying before

like that thing of like even now coming

out to do the interviews and stuff it's

like [ __ ] i don't know if i can do any

of this [ __ ] anymore because it's been

it's been [ __ ] easy it's been like

three years

do you know who's sat here before you

was was bear grylls and bear grylls said

to me he said the more successful i've

i've become the lower my confidence has

become because bear grylls now is he's

when you like if your mate eats

something crazy or doesn't mean crazy

you go who do you think you're a bear

girl he's actually become synonymous

with the word like so his identity is

this like extreme

you know whatever and he's now looking

up at his own identity going

how the hell am i ever going to be bear

grylls

and it was crazy to hear him say like

his confidence is at like pretty much an

all-time low because of his success yeah

because he's competing with his own

accomplishments which is

not an easy place to be yeah and i have

to agree with that i feel like as well

it's such a weird position to be in

because you walk into a room

like and as people

like

this sounds wanky as [ __ ] but like

i have to i have i have to assume in

some regard that people around my age

have at least heard about me in passing

and i always just assume

when i go into room i just assume people

in that room don't like me

like that's just my thank you that's my

like default position of like i don't

know why i don't know why it is but i

just like

it's just something i always have and i

always like

if i go to a pub

and like i'll walk in a pub like i'm

like oh [ __ ] people probably like

walking up to the bar or like if someone

comes up and says hello and i'm speaking

to them and i think it puts you with

them

i think oh everyone else in this book

i'm a wanker i don't know it's like i

don't know if it's like

when did that start um maybe like

end towards the end of 2019 probably

yeah um i don't get wrong i [ __ ]

being famous is fun it's great like you

know what i mean why do you think

they're not gonna like you uh i don't

know it's just like i don't know what i

i just assume that they've probably seen

something online like a video i've done

or an interview i've done or they've

heard the songs and they think oh it's

music's [ __ ] oh they've seen interview

and they think i [ __ ] hate that card

can't stand them um yeah i don't know i

just always assume that people have got

this

um

i don't know this view of me

that they maybe don't like i don't know

again i couldn't really put my finger on

why like i don't i don't i don't hate

myself like i think i'm all right thank

job i mean but i think um

it's just that i don't know i i don't

know if maybe that thing of like

being like in pub in the public eye like

you're so [ __ ] exposed

to like

all this [ __ ] and it's like

yeah it's just a bit it's a bit of a

i don't know it's a bit of a it's a bit

of a you walk into a room and you feel

like

oh [ __ ] this is do you feel like it cuz

because i'm on because i've started

doing dragon's den now so the podcast

was like you know big people know before

but there's this whole new demographic

yeah now this bbc one demographic where

if i'm in the airport i'm if someone

just glances at me i assume oh they're

you're going to come over and say

something away so you kind of live with

this constant paranoia yeah you're kind

of like oh yeah anyway i just keep my

headphones on and i don't i look at the

[ __ ] floor

i'm like do you two hold up

and it's like that like that sort of

like you feel like

squeeze that and i don't know i love

when people come up and

i i love taking pictures people i love

speaking to people and hearing people's

stories about how they love the music or

like even i get a lot of people go um oh

i think your music shape but i hate the

funny you know that stuff and i'll

accept that as well that's fine cool um

but

is it cool yeah i think it's fine you

can't

my music's not going to be for everybody

i'm really aware of that my personality

is definitely not going to be from doing

fully with that i think

the fact that people come up i like the

fact that people

feel that they can say that to me and i

won't take offense you've kind of

invited that there haven't you yeah yeah

because and i'll because that's how i am

like i'm you you would really really

have to say something

horrible about i don't know what you

could say to me that i would take

offense i'm very like

i don't know if it's mark bringing in

scotland or just being scottish or

whatever like that

like

i don't

take offense to things really

like i've seen some [ __ ] pretty

ridiculous things written about me

online and on twitter all the rest of it

that really does not like

you say you're very self-deprecating

yeah of course why

uh i just think it's funny i think i

think but again i think that's a very

scottish thing and that's a very

like

we kind of all

well when i grew up everyone just took

the piss at each other it's quite i

don't know it's quite a bad thing and

not a bad thing it's gone

you never feel you never want to get

ideas above your station like you never

even when i was starting out music i

just always i never thought we'd get to

this point or the things we get that's

big because i just always thought oh

that would just that just doesn't

think it might be a bad thing as well

because it maybe stops a lot of people

from going to achieve things or trying

to reach for stuff like i on i've said

before like if i hadn't met

my manager on my label and stuff i would

still be in pubs just playing tunes at

the weekend and all that it's not like

or i'd be playing weddings and stuff

like because i would just not assume

that this was on the cards um

but i think yes i i think there's

something nice and

don't get me wrong around my friends i'm

slagging them off like nothing else and

they're doing the same to me and it's

like

you kind of figure out like what your

flaws are

by the way your friends the stuff your

friends pick out

and i don't know like on tour we say

some [ __ ] horrific stuff to each

other to pursue each other and

that's all fine because we love each

other it's grand but like i think in

general if if i can

it feels better to make people laugh

like at me than other people like i

would rather make someone laugh at

me than

grab something else and take the piss

out of them before

is there a harm

because i i've heard some of the things

you said you know you said i mean i know

they're jokes but you said things like

people women find me equally repulsive

in australia and whenever there's you

take a shot at yourself and i i do want

it because if my one of my good friends

was always self-deprecating i would tell

them to stop yeah

because i would be worried that that

those words might knock their own

confidence or something it's like you

don't talk like be nice to yourself like

that's the thing i'd like i think

you're talking like

if you had like a child would you want

someone to say the things to your child

that you say about yourself

i get that

completely and i understand that but i

don't like self-deprecate

constantly in my private life sure i

mean i don't like yeah um

it's something that

has become kind of synonymous with me

doing

interviews and all the rest of it and i

do do it

a lot in my private life but not like

it's not like a constant every sentence

on interviews and things like that do

you think it's kind of self-defense in a

way from it could be yeah i think as

well yeah look my first album's called

divinely uninspired to a hellish extent

which is like

kind of getting

seeing my album [ __ ] before i can see my

album [ __ ] um

i think it's like it's nice to take the

power away from people because it's like

well i [ __ ] say that first

i mean like it's like i think it's quite

a as good as good takes the power away

from other people i think in in that

regard so i i do think there's probably

something in that but um the way i get

the way i see it i don't really feel

like it's

dragging me like for example the stuff i

see myself in my head when i'm hungover

that is like damaging stuff like that

sort of thing like when you're hungover

and you're like

kind of just that self-loathing and that

sort of like that's the stuff that if i

said to myself all the time i'd be like

whoa you need to [ __ ] like chill out

i was like jovial and it's never stuff

that like

i can't change

you know i mean it's not like things

like

that i'm like if i'm calling myself

chubby that's not like my i can't i can

do something about that like do i mean

i'm choosing like not you know what i

mean so it's something like

um like

there is an aspect as well like you kind

of

people you get to a point and doing

interviews like especially radio

stations that we do just say the same

thing over and over again so as it's the

same in that regard of like

people say a lot like you're very

self-deprecating it's like well

yes but these are i'm going to ask the

same questions everywhere i go so i'm

just kind of like rewarding a lot of

this

self-deprecating pattern and then the

rest of it so

yeah i mean i don't think

second time around it's going to be

quite like i don't know

how it's going to play that's what i'm

saying about like turning it on again

and all the rest of it like

it's just that's it's gonna be

interesting to see like how things play

out this time around because it's like

yeah i'm not just gonna come out and say

the same stuff how did you how do you

feel about the second time around

give me the full range of emotions so

this is your second kind of yeah

releasing new music first time in like

three years first time was just a smash

mega ultra hit yeah

some mate call it that yeah um and um

[ __ ] crazy yeah it's wild it's wild

so this time i'm [ __ ] myself but

this is the problem i think the nature

of the music industry it's a big problem

with i mean it's got so much better and

i've had a lot of support from

everyone around me no one forces me to

do anything

no one really we were able this is like

almost unheard of but like we were able

to go away and make new music and bring

it to the label and be like this is the

new music that we're going to put out

and they said

great thank you we will now do our job

with this so it's like a lot of people

have like maybe an nr who's quite

oh no he's changed this changes and that

we were given like the first album i

think um free reign to kind of go do

what to do people have always checked up

on us

but i think in the music industry

and then maybe any industry it's like

you get a number one single and

immediately it turns to

uh yeah but can i do it again yeah and

then you do it again and then i mean

like ah but how's the album doing and

it's like how are the tickets there's

always something else the goal posts

always [ __ ] changing so it's this

constant sort of like

state of [ __ ] [ __ ] [ __ ] i need to like

right you can't it's like that thing i

mean it's so

i've spoken about to death but like that

thing i've not been able to sit back and

enjoy it because you're always

on the move to the next thing and on the

move the next thing i think that's why

uh during lockdown i really struggled as

well because it was like oh the next

thing that the next thing and then there

is no next thing now because we're all

covered and all that [ __ ] and it's like

what do you do now and then you just

i'll have all this pen up [ __ ] how

was that exactly

it was um it was intense for sure

because you know what when we first got

announced well when kobe first got

announced as if it's a [ __ ] album

about him

coming this summer um but i think um

when cody first got like kind of

when the lockdowns first were announced

we were all [ __ ]

i think that was about like i was might

go on tour to an america to support now

horn

but having had just had the [ __ ]

horrible experience i had over two weeks

i was in a position to realize i don't

know if i can perform live anymore

without having a panic attack it was

that bad that every single night had a

panic attack i was twitching it was

[ __ ] horrible people who i knew

would be watching the gigs and they

would come back after and be like that

wasn't we didn't enjoy watching that gig

like that was really [ __ ]

hard for us to see you in that position

did you ever in those moments

question what you were doing yeah for

sure but i i questioned what i was doing

a lot in lockdown as well like it was

that it kind of started it's like [ __ ]

if this is making me feel this bad

and that it was [ __ ] so heartbreaking

as well because sorry i keep having this

mic but i was so heartbroken about it

because playing live was the is the

the best bit about music like i [ __ ]

hate recording albums it's stressful

it's a pain in the ass

promo i kind of i get into a point where

i quite like it and it's kind of like

fun but it's not like why i'll get into

it i [ __ ] despise doing music videos

i hate doing photo shoots hey get my

photo taken i only do all that stuff the

only reason i started writing songs was

because i thought okay i thought like

people who i was watching like bands

like green day are [ __ ] other monkeys

oh they write their own songs so i if i

want to play live i have to write my own

songs

um

the the so like the only reason i'd do

any of this little [ __ ] i'll put up with

this little [ __ ] is because the

playing live was just [ __ ]

unparalleled thing that's there's

that you can't compare it to anything

else takes you back to being for that

karaoke right totally a hundred percent

and it's that same buzz every single

[ __ ] time like i mean i mean unless

you have a [ __ ] shotgun it's terrible

but um and then you're depressed for

like three weeks but um

yeah that buzz is just

unbelievable so like when when that was

making me feel shy i was about like well

this is [ __ ] horrific

and i was like i don't know how if this

has made me feel this bad

why

continue to do it and then at times

making new music and stuff i was like

when i would get really down to myself

i'd be like [ __ ] is this actually worth

it all the rest of it i never actually

got to a point where i was like

oh

i'm going to quit i'll like think i

don't think it was ever something that

was serious in my mind because i've

literally never done anything else and i

would be [ __ ] useless anything else

i'm a lazy [ __ ]

like serious and i don't know that

sounds like i mean self-deprecating i i

am i'm just aware of that as a genuine

flaw that i am i'm trying to take the

steps to correct

honestly it's so [ __ ] i'm so bad for

just like see like just sitting on tick

tock and [ __ ] scrolling through that

and this and i think as well getting to

the position i got and

my first album i was like [ __ ] now i can

like really [ __ ] be lazy like now i

can turn this [ __ ] [ __ ] right up it

was wild so like

at point's house it's like [ __ ] i just

do this and that but i think for the

most part i was never seriously

considering like stopping like

completely but it was definitely

something that and my mom and dad had

raised that uh raised it to my family

and friends was like if this is making

you feel that bad especially when my

tourette's thing was really bad and i

never knew what it was

my dad gave me i left home from the

airport one night after i'd been in

london for a week

and i was twitching like [ __ ]

to the point where he started crying in

the car

because he was like this is like a game

i never knew it was threats at this

point he was like this is [ __ ] like

so like he thought i was having like a

seizure next day in the car and i was

mad so like

they were obviously concerned and

they're like why like just stop don't do

this if it's making you feel less [ __ ]

you never had any of this anxiety and

before

this all took off but then again when i

went to therapy i was like

oh i actually did but this kind of just

tipped it over the edge maybe when it

became like panic attacks and stuff like

expect the live thing was really was

really a big thing we went and played um

the grand prix in abu dhabi in december

of last year

um

just like i said and i was really

worried about that and then

we came we went on stage and i never

i've never had any of those issues like

i didn't twitch i didn't have a panic

attack whatever and i came off

and i was in the toilet and i was like i

could have [ __ ] busted the tails

because i was like oh [ __ ] [ __ ] i can

actually do this still and not have be

[ __ ]

twitching and not be [ __ ] terrified

and not all this [ __ ] i mean so um so

that was like a big a big thing but yeah

overlockdown stuff i definitely thought

initially when it happened it was such a

relief because i was like oh [ __ ] [ __ ] i

don't have to go away and do this to her

mm-hmm

and then go and do festivals

because it was like it kind of gives

gave me a moment to kind of address it i

don't know

saying that obviously no

covered dead and

all the stuff that happened and people

lost jobs and all the rest of it

that feels like a like a selfish thing

to say but at the same time it's like

like i don't know how long how much

longer i could have kept up

having a panic attack every single

[ __ ] night on stage and just like

because it was it was like [ __ ] that

was like i i was suffering for sure um

and yeah it just wasn't it wasn't fun

but again it was like i would come off

stage and be absolutely and then i'd be

like oh i'm not i'm not this bad i got

to a point where i was having panic

attacks

because i was anticipating having a

panic attack

you know i mean so when you get into

that cycle i think you're in real

trouble because it's like if you go

looking for something you're gonna

[ __ ] find that i mean you talk about

um how therapy helped that's really

inspiring to hear because a lot of the

time honestly when i sit here with

people who are um in that phase of their

life who have been through that they

didn't seek out help until much much

later in life until you know much much

later after their career yeah um

what val and it's also i have to say

it's so

important and nice to hear your honesty

about that because

i think

we all i think therapy is something that

we should probably all consider if we

have the means to do it because

um it's sometimes not

like whack-a-mole of seeing a symptom

but a preventative measure as well how

was it you can't wait until

things are worse to do something about

it it has to be something that you

continue to [ __ ]

continue to work at like you know what i

mean it's just i think people wait until

it's like

[ __ ] like the worst rock bottom

if you take the steps prior to rock

bottom you might not have to reach that

man how has it helped you and what does

it taught you because you know

i've had a few i've had a few um

i've i've tried a few different

therapists and that's the thing as well

now it's like you kind of go to like

different people when you kind of walk

out i think a lot of people might go to

a therapist and go ah that doesn't work

for me but you have to kind of find the

person yeah exactly exactly so you have

to find the person who's right for you

um and i'm still like i'm still like

i've just started with a new like i'm

still like

trying to find the right person but like

i think um

it's just for me it was all about like

understand that like

the first one i did was like cbt yeah

yeah therapy for my anxiety and i was

like it was just about understanding

what anxiety is and why i'm having these

and

what like looking out for triggers and

things like that it was it was very much

about because at the start when it's not

when you're just having plans actually

like oh what the [ __ ] is going on this

is mental like why am i feeling this and

then every sort of feeling you get when

you have a panic attack spurs it on even

more and it becomes a big [ __ ]

massive thing and i think when i went to

cbt therapy and she was like have you

felt like this if you feel like this you

feel this and i was like oh yeah all

that [ __ ] and she's like oh that's

anxiety and then i remember i used to

this passing out and seizure thing

became a big thing as well when i was

having panic attacks

and she was like right well what happens

if you go if you have a seizure

and i go say

i don't know i've probably got a

hospital and she goes all right so

you're in hospital

was the best place for you to be after

the season she was like i was i'll

probably hospital she was like right

cool so what happens if you pass out i

goes oh i am i'll probably wake up and

and then i don't know i'm probably

hospital he's like it was the best place

we would be so it's like that's like

[ __ ] i just like really talking it

out and then i never knew what

catastrophizing was when it was like

that sort of like snowball effective

yeah yeah this thing happens then this

thing happens so that was a big thing

and yeah so just that

and then the second therapist when it

was the person who mentioned the thing

about

my

my mum's mum and being exposed to like

death that young

and being around death that young and

kind of just

that being a thing with my hypochondria

i don't know the rest of it and then i

just think it's just it's so funny like

when

they make you like

speak out like think like so like me

saying

hussain so what happens if you have a

seizure and i go i go to the hospital

and say well where was the best place

like i mean it's like so simple it's

like so simple but actually from them

making you say it you go oh it makes so

much [ __ ] sense um

and yeah so it's been it's been a big

help for and again it's like not

something that

i feel like

i fee again it's not something i saw

myself doing i've got a therapy on the

rest of it but it definitely [ __ ]

makes me feel great like afterwards you

just feel that [ __ ]

weight has been lifted off your

shoulders and then i definitely i like

to say i would i if you have them used

to do it as something i would

recommend massively i think um

it has helped me like welcome to it

continues to help me it's that thing of

like

so anything it's like you go to the gym

taste it well i don't but you're going

to tell me

to stay fat like for me like going to

therapy is like can i go to the gym to

kind of like help my mind just [ __ ]

exactly yeah work through things

and having the awareness to know that

you're you are living an extraordinarily

unhuman

life

and i say a human because we're not

meant to have feedback at that scale

we're not to go meant to go into arenas

i mean if we're probably from our

hardwire wiring we're probably meant to

be in groups of ten yeah people we know

and love you know small small

communities not going to arenas with

tens of thousands of people absolutely

man absolutely and i think that's the

thing as well as like

understanding

that you this

experience that you've been through as

as

as as if not the world traumatic is a

[ __ ] big one but as it is

it's a massive switch like i was [ __ ]

playing pubs at weekends taking money

and [ __ ] i was at college uh doing

music because and the only reason i did

it was because i was lying on my bed one

day and my dad says what are you doing

after the summer and i goes oh i don't

know yet i was just gonna play gigs and

he was like are you [ __ ]

[ __ ] work at something so i thought

my friend adam and i was like what

course are you doing i'm doing this

music course when done that so i was

just [ __ ] like portering around and

then

this [ __ ] just kicked off what was your

hope for life then if you could if we go

back because we just get past that part

what was your what was you if i had

asked you at 16 years old what you want

to be when you're older what would the

answer have been i've always just wanted

to make enough money doing music so i

didn't have to get a real job but

anything like if i made like

i don't know [ __ ] 500 pound a month i

would have been [ __ ]

buzzing like i would have been so happy

with that but the first time i met my

manager he said to me uh what so what

what would be your [ __ ] like

ideal [ __ ] situation and there was an

artist called lewis watson at the time

who was like playing

who plays like who at the time was

playing like kind of size venues in

glasgow so that's like 350 people and i

was a huge fan of his and i was like oh

well i'd get like lewis watson and be

like my goal like that's like that kind

of

that cat playing king tuts size venues

i've been doing the youtube maps i go my

manager was like i think you could do an

arenas okay this is the first state

first day i met him i think you could be

doing arenas and i was like shut the

[ __ ] up like tong pish

whatever and then [ __ ] cut two three

years later playing arenas it's like

this is madness so it's like

yeah i just wanted to be making enough

money playing music

that it wasn't

that i didn't have to get

for one of the better one real job

because this is like and this is this is

the thing as well with us

we music as well this is a [ __ ] one

of the easiest jobs in the world this is

a really easy job the actual job part of

it

that's the it's the being it's the

famous side of things it's like

that causes the anxiety and stuff that's

your job is a [ __ ] breeze i'm after

one of my friends one of my best pals is

a gravedigger like i mean that's a

[ __ ] hard job this is a piece of piss

like this is great but it's that it's

the kind of

the pressure you put on yourself the

fame and stuff like that's like a and i

[ __ ] hate being on being like oh fame

man it's really tough but because again

it's [ __ ] class and loads of respect

but um

but yeah so i think it's it's

for me it was never i never thought we

would get to this point like i never

even when i got signed

i didn't think it was going to last and

i've always been told like

getting signed means nothing really

because it does kind of i mean it's a

nice little tech but it doesn't mean

anything

more people get dropped than than

[ __ ]

to [ __ ] become success stories

um

so it's always been like stuff that i've

i've always just

been glass half empty and being like

this probably isn't going to work out

but i'm going to [ __ ] try

and really give it a go but it probably

won't work out so don't get i don't like

to get too [ __ ]

aspirational

and i wouldn't say i'm necessarily an

ambitious person

i do think there's people around me who

are ambitious

and who we have the same

like lofty dreams and they maybe see

something in me that again this is

something that i

cannot be more thankful for for like

labels and agents and prs and my manager

and my family and friends stuff they've

obviously saw something and thought

for some reason that we could get to a

point but personally i just feel like

like i'm just happy to play music and

specifically play live so if this just

can continue to that i can do that i

kind of like big crowds now so it'd be

nice to take a step back for at least

two years or whatever but

if i can play live music yeah [ __ ]

i'll show up and play someone you loved

it any old shape for the next 20 years

do i mean i don't give a [ __ ]

i'll i'll do that man because it's a

buzz but um

but yeah i don't know i just think i've

always been that

oh that's probably what this is probably

the end of the road here this is

probably as big as it's going to get and

it's just like when i even when

we started doing well in terms of like

selling tickets for gigs and stuff i

always thought i never ever saw myself

as someone who's going to have a top 40

single

so this is after selling out tools and i

just thought

oh we could maybe squeeze our top 10

album that was like my big my big thing

i was having a thousand album i'll be

[ __ ] happy and then

it just [ __ ] took on a life of its

own one of the things that i was um

really inspired by and which we kind of

skipped over again is this

how many years of like practice and

repetition you put in before

you got discovered like playing in pubs

at like 11 years old and sneaking in and

hiding in the toilets

how important in hindsight was that

practiced like invaluable yeah so

[ __ ] like

like i wouldn't be doing this if i

hadn't been for that but that's the

thing it's like the love of doing it it

wasn't like it didn't feel like to me

like a chore like a [ __ ] and because

i wasn't aiming for anything it felt

like oh this is the buzz this is the

this is the goal

like we've heard yeah well we've done it

me when i got on stage when i was 11

hiding toilets

when i got on stage i was like [ __ ] i

made it this is good like i mean the

fact that i didn't kicked out the bulb

again didn't get kicked out of the pub

that time that was [ __ ] ground that

was always after um

but i saw i i to me that was that was

[ __ ] that was the goal just play gags

that's class most of my memories are

like going out and getting hammered and

underage drinking which obviously

shouldn't do whatever but it's like um

as that are all related we put gigs on

and we we fight our friends at these

gigs and like we went we went and hired

problems that we knew served people who

were like 16 and like we did that was

so my life has been so ingrained in like

doing like music but it never ever felt

like

even now it doesn't feel like i'm

working hard

nothing feels like i'm working hard like

without

getting to like

the number one record at the time didn't

feel like i was doing much

i just felt like i was because i [ __ ]

loved doing it i didn't feel like i was

working

really really hard again i think it

might be something to the fact that my

brothers are like electricians and my

dad's a fishmonger mums and i said i

know what i can see like a property

craft

compared to

finding

but like i just never saw it as like

[ __ ] oh i'm

really in the pits here and i'm [ __ ]

like

i just didn't feel like i was working

hard and that goes back to like being in

those pubs and being in those like

shake bars when knew i was listening to

you or playing in a restaurant even when

i was thinking [ __ ] if i was eating my

dinner i wouldn't want to hear me

[ __ ] singing like that [ __ ] was like

that and i think that's a lot to do with

like the the you have to

develop a thick again playing in a pub

because someone will show you a [ __ ]

show

non-stop when you're living well i

remember knowing you're 11. but when i

started puberty and the cute factor went

away it was like things got dicey for a

bit for sure things were actually things

were an issue but um

but yeah i think that that and that's

what that's any time i see i meet people

like young

guys or girls or [ __ ] whoever that

wants to

be a musician and it's like what did you

do whatever it's just plague x just

immediately go and play right don't

focus on a lot of people are like oh i'm

going to look this way and i'm going to

[ __ ]

i'm going to [ __ ] this is how we're

going to perform on stage and it's just

like just go do it just go play gigs

don't worry about releasing you don't

have to release music i never released a

song

i never did like an official release

like like any like

[ __ ]

the first song i ever released was

bruises which was on my album that's the

first one i've ever put out like ricotta

went and recorded like a minute and

reconstructed and did some demos before

but that was the first song i have a

popular god dude because i've been

writing songs for [ __ ]

at that point i would have i would have

been 20 when that came out so

10 years i've been writing songs for

with 12 because i started running

sometimes nine so 12 years i've been

writing songs for

i got to a point where i was just like

but it was never in my head about

releasing music because i was like oh i

just want to play live like it was just

this this

thing that i just kept doing in tandem

with playing live so for me it's just

like that's what i say people just go do

it and just go [ __ ] get the

experience i remember going to college

when we were 18

and

my

like all these people who were really

talented musicians and singers and

[ __ ] like

they had never but they'd never played

their live kick and i was so surprised

by it because they were [ __ ] much

much more like technically gifted than

all the rest of it and better singers

and all that [ __ ] than me but the

fact that we were we had played live so

much me and my uh friend adam who was a

topic and

paige who was my girlfriend

ex-girlfriend who

love island one of 2020 but

she

she but she she was the same she'd done

loads of gigs adam had done loads of

things

like we all drove to thinking together

um

and it was like

with that sort of experience and gigging

that we all had became like

it was just so that it was so apparently

that sort of like

kind of disparity and not again these

people were much better musicians and

like singers and everything than i was

but like when you got on stage it was

like

there was a marked difference i think

just because it was like you had that

comfortability of being up there and

doing it and

like i think my voice is that i sound

the way i sound because they're playing

in pubs like that sort of like loud

[ __ ]

because you had to [ __ ]

sing above the noise of people talking

push and like drinking all the rest and

like

i think yeah it says

if i hadn't done that looking back now

i'm like oh that's that was the [ __ ]

that was the the kind of game changer

like this is not an easy question for

someone that's self-deprecating but when

you look back in hindsight as you said

there and you go do you know because we

all do it we go what what was the reason

why i was because you've been wildly

wildly [ __ ] successful i mean i

probably don't have the right words to

describe

just how big

your your records got and i'm a huge fan

of yours you have a music chat and i

really am i like you know um

in the same way i'm a big fan of adele

i'm a big fan of ed sheeran you are your

record your records reached that level

thanks in hindsight so you say okay i'm

doing those pub gigs and the repetitions

there but what else

i think um

no self-defecation

because i'm a [ __ ] although i do

think that was a big thing

for sure um i think

i i remember when i first started using

like social media to do

the for

music it was the 1975 what kind of the

main band and everyone's like you have

to be mysterious and you have to be sort

of like you know they were doing like

the gaps between the letters and all the

rest and it was very like black and

white really cool

remember if you look but i mean it's all

probably archived now but if you look

way back at the start of things i'm like

trying to do that and then after that

kind of faded out

but that was everybody everyone was

going any

cool meetings and i was like oh you had

to be like kind of mysterious cool like

black and white like

whatever

and then

[ __ ] we then went on to just i was

just kind of using it to be like oh i'm

doing this today because i had actually

stopped using all social media when i

was 16. i didn't have instagram i didn't

have facebook i didn't have any [ __ ]

because i was just like

i thought i was being cool and edgy by

being off credits or whatever but i was

actually just a kind but um

yeah i just started using it like oh

playing [ __ ]

dr doc festival in bristol today or

whatever

and then it wasn't until like

i think i thought that we had reached

our peak in terms of like

music and all the rest of it like the

first episodes did really well

and then

they kind of the releases in between

there was a song called rush but these

are songs i still love song called rush

and song called tough

tough we thought was like this angle we

thought this is the one that's gonna

[ __ ] if anyone was going to like blow

up

that's that one

it did [ __ ] all right um

absolutely [ __ ] off

and i think at that point we were like

okay this is kind of racist peak we

haven't reached the heights of bruce's

because bruce's kind of blew up online

um him reese wright hates the bruises

and that's going to be a song and

whatever blah blah so then i just like

didn't give a [ __ ] on instagram and i

was just like

just doing stuff that i thought me like

me and my pals would laugh at and

[ __ ] just talk absolutely [ __ ] shy

and just genuinely like being myself

or instagram

really which was taking the pacific

things and taking the pacific being

famous i remember that the first one

that i remember

was coming back from an american tour

we had played like places in the kind of

nice shows in america and it was this

big spread in the um

and like the sun or some other newspaper

well i don't know but like some other

newspaper

um so this big spread that i said like

lewis capaldi no hiding place now

and when i had been in that and on the

american tour this girl in philadelphia

had given me these stupid [ __ ]

glasses like these stupid [ __ ] daft

cat eye glasses

and i had the moment and i was like

i don't know if it was jet lag i'd just

be an exhausted thing but i started

filming myself and being like yeah i'm

[ __ ] so famous now by the way it's

unbelievable that's me no hiding place

now please [ __ ] stop just talking

partial

put the glasses on i was like this is

again just a name shy not thinking about

it like taking the piss and then people

just really reacted to it

again it wasn't something that i was

then like

and no one was like oh we have to this

is a thing though we just kind of left