Hi everyone. It's Valentine's Day and

Scott and I have a little treat for our

pivot fans. Do you know what's

happening, Scott?

>> I don't know what's going on here.

>> We're playing the newlywed game.

That's right. Our producers have put

together some questions for us and we'll

see how well we know. We have a special

guest ask us questions. It's Fresco von

Cameltoe, also known as George Han.

>> That's Bob Eubangs to you, pal.

>> In the butt. In the butt. Of course,

that's where you go. All right. Well,

we're going to do some I'm I'm step I've

always wanted to be Bob Eubanks. I

always thought he was low-key 70s game

show hot. Anyway, so this is fun.

>> [ __ ] guy.

>> In other words, you'd [ __ ] him. Go

ahead.

>> Totally. All right. I'm going to start

with Scott here.

>> The first question for you. How many

times has Cara been arrested?

>> Oh, that's easy. Twice.

>> Yeah,

>> that's correct. That is correct.

>> Yeah. But um uh but just so you know for

I don't want anyone to think I don't

take Valentine's Day seriously with

Cara. Last week I bought her a a belt

and a bag and now her vacuum works

perfectly.

>> Good dad. Good dad humor. Yeah, she's

been arrested twice.

>> She's a full-on excon. She's got a rap

sheet longer than the A train.

>> That's amazing. Scott, you listen to me.

I have I've been arrested twice.

>> Well, here's the problem. I'm turning

into a lesbian, which means we'll get

divorced. When you have two people

listening in a marriage. Not good. Not

good. I own this game right now. I'm

great at this. How many times have I

been arrested?

>> I don't know. I don't know. Never.

>> None.

>> Zero. I've never had any interactions

with the law whatsoever.

>> Amateur. All right. Cara, you're up.

Where was Scott conceived?

>> Oh, he always takes his dad takes him

there to and shows him the place.

>> You care. You care.

>> In Scot in Scotland. In Scotland. They

he point No, wait. No, no, no, no, no.

Montre No, no. It's another country.

It's um

>> It's Montreal. It's Montreal. It's

Montreal or Toronto. It's Canada.

>> Does your child need ADHD drugs? Listen

to it right now. My god.

>> Cuz he always has his His dad used to

say, "That's what you conceived." Like

it's it's in Canada. It's either

Montreal or Toronto. I one of those two

cities there.

>> You got to say Toronto, though. It's

Toronto.

>> Toronto. Toronto.

>> Toronto. No. No. Toronto.

>> Toronto. Toronto. Oh, they blow off the

tea. Is that how they do it?

>> Yeah. Toronto.

>> Toronto. Toronto. Toronto.

>> Yeah. Yeah. That's That was the annual

visit to where you were conceived.

That's where he had it. Go ahead. Pretty

good.

>> All right. Next question. I'm going to

send it back to Scott here. Scott, which

tech mogul was rumored to be Carara's

sperm donor?

I got my theory.

>> I mean, just the obvious one would be

Musk. I'm trying to think it would be

anybody else. I don't know. It's so

funny. I just spent some time with

Carara's ex and Cara and her ex look so

much like their kids and I still can't

figure out the mechanics like who's

giving sperm and eggs to who.

>> Yeah, nobody. I was pregnant, Scott. Oh

my god. All right. Do you know who this

is?

>> By the way, I think I think you should

have the right to do that. I'm I'm

really happy about that. Um

>> Okay.

>> Uh who what tech mogul?

>> It was in the New York Post. There was a

big story about it.

>> It's going to be your um I have no idea.

>> It's in my book. So, that means you

didn't read my book.

>> Oh, no. I read it twice. I just read it

so much I I it started to blend

together. I thought it was so bad I

started buying them and sending them to

enemies.

>> I'm going to help you here. He looks

like a penis. A small one.

>> A small bald man? I don't know. Who is

it?

>> Who is the small bald man of big tech?

>> Oh, Bezos was your going to be your

donor.

>> No, he wasn't. People It got in the New

York Post because he asked me how at a

party and someone overheard it and they

gave it to the New York.

>> Yeah. You leaked that in hopes of like

juicing your latest book, burn book.

>> I did not.

>> I'm surprised. Yeah, I'm surprised you

didn't keep it in the gay house with

Peter Teal.

>> Oh. Oh, no. No. Also, Bezos was too

short. I'll be honest with you that I

told him that. I was like, not tall

enough. So,

>> Teal always looks like he's in between

sessions in a dungeon.

>> Oh my god. I'd be like Rosemary's baby

if it was Teal.

>> Whose sperm would you pick? What tech

exact sperm would you pick?

>> Oh, if I had to.

>> Who has the best genetics? Tim Cook has

good hair.

>> Uh, no. I'd have to talk to him. No.

See, do I have to talk to them or never

see them again?

>> No. Never see them again. No woman I've

ever deposit of sperm with speaks to me

again.

>> There's a person I'm not going to say

his name cuz he's not really wellnown.

>> Thank you, George. That was funny. You

miss that, Cara.

>> I What did I hear?

>> Scott, you're the gayest straight man.

Your behavior is so gay for a straight

man.

>> That's what my ex used to say. Gay by

day, straight by night. It all works for

me.

>> That's right, baby.

>> Actually, I will say his name. Who? I

would have. This guy named Hans Peter

Bromo. The hills are alive.

>> He's a Telecom exec and he's stunning.

He's from Norway and he's great. He's a

great guy. Family Peter. Yes. And he's a

sweetheart. So, I would have picked him.

I would pick Hans. Not people know, but

famous ones. Zero. I'd say zero. All

right.

>> I'm trying to think. All right. Go

ahead.

>> Now, Cara, this one's yours. The next

question. This is a deep one. When was

Scott at his happiest?

>> What? When was Scott? Was Scott at his

happiest?

>> Or least miserable. You framed it

correct correctly.

>> God, when when he's with me, obviously.

When was he at his happiest? When he had

a a baby. When he had a When he had his

kid.

>> I don't know. I hated having babies. I

felt nauseous. I don't know.

>> All I could think about was I don't have

enough money.

>> Oh, right.

>> I was like, I don't have enough money.

That nurse is hot. I don't have enough

money. That nurse is hot. I don't have

enough money.

>> He's such a good guy. when he's every

time every Monday and Thursday when

we're taping Pivot, that's when he's at

his most happiest.

>> I do like Pivot.

>> All right, Scott, your final question.

Which TV couple does your relationship

with Cara most resemble? Sam and Diane,

Mr. Ror and Tattoo, Shane and Ilia from

Heated Rivalry. Which is it?

>> Which one did I pick?

>> I would say you would say Heated

Rivalry, I would think. Um Oh, wait. Who

are the first ones?

>> Sam and Diane from Cheers.

>> Sam and Diane. No, Sam's nicer than both

of us. Tattoo and Oh god,

you're villages.

>> No, you're Irvy Militches.

>> Oh my god. The plane. The plane.

>> And Mr. Rooric. Another one who was like

70s hot.

>> I'm boss. Come on.

>> Who was the other one?

>> The guys from Heated Rivalry.

>> I'm going to pick Heated Rivalry just

cuz you're all things gay.

>> Wrong. Your tattoo. I'm Mr. Uh,

>> no. But there is a I'm serious. Door 4 D

is so perfect. Uh, in VEP, there's this

foul-mouthed congressman and his lackey

intern, and they just insult each other

all day. And in the last episode, the

foul-mouthed uh GOP congressman is

pushing the intern around in his

wheelchair. Like, they've clearly been

together for like 80 years.

>> And that's about right. Yeah, I like it.

I just know you're going to be rolling

me around in a wheelchair, barely able

to see above the back of the wheelchair,

screaming up at people, and I'm just

going to be there like, "When is she

going to take me home and reheat my

soup?"

>> I think you guys are more like Sam and

um what's her name? Uh Kirsty Alley.

>> Yeah, not Kirsty Ali. There's Sam and

Diane, and then there's Sam and Kirsty

Alley.

>> Yeah, but Sam's nice. Neither of us are

Sam. Sam's a nice guy.

>> Yeah, that's true.

>> That's true. That's true. And he has

great hair, unlike some other people on

this podcast.

>> There you go. I think we're more like

that gay FBI agent and that He-Man in

Ozarks.

>> Now he's sitting there all day. This is

gonna go on. All day this is gonna go

on. I think we're tattooing Mr. Roar.

>> Joanie and Chachi. You're Scott Beao.

>> No, you're Scott Bao.

>> You're so Scott Beao. Last question. All

right, this last question. Cara, this is

for all the marbles here. Oh god, I

didn't write these. Where is the

craziest place Scott has ever made

Whoopi?

>> What? I don't know. everywhere.

>> Did you never watch the the the

newlywood game, the actual one?

Legendary made I know the whoopy part. I

get the whoopy in Dubai.

>> She actually said in the ass.

>> Uh, where's the weirdest place? I don't

know. I don't know that question.

Anywhere. Sex must be quite something to

watch. I've never seen that though, by

the way. I've never seen

>> Scott. Where is the weirdest place?

Geographically or on your person?

>> I had to think about it. The weirdest

place are the the place that stands out.

the first person I was like in love with

and was in love with me, Melanie Kagan.

We went I thought it'd be cool. We used

to study in PAL library and we thought,

"Oh, it'll be fun to start fooling

around in one of the conference rooms

and a security guard walked in and we

almost got arrested and like she was

worried she was going to get kicked out

of UCLA and it spread like wildfire and

it was like a really ugly moment and we

weren't even like having sex. We were

just kind of making out anyway."

>> Oh, that's good for you. Yeah. You

remember I got arrested speak? Oh, no.

>> Oh, for making out in a car, right?

>> That was the second time. Yeah.

Remember, she's an excon.

>> Pal library. Melanie Kagan.

>> Oh, Melanie's going to be thrilled. We

have to have her at the next pivot tour.

>> Oh my god, she's lovely. She's lovely.

She's lovely. First person who loves

you, you love the rest of your life.

>> Oh, that's nice. That's lovely, Scott.

All right. Well, there you go.

>> Fantastic.

>> We sort of know each other. We are. But

what we want to say is, uh, thank you,

George. Uh, clearly we know each other

very well. what we do actually. Anyway,

we wish everybody a happy Valentine's

Day. What's really important is to learn

things about each other and get it wrong

and enjoy yourself anyway.