Joe Rogan podcast. Check it out.

>> The Joe Rogan Experience.

>> TRAIN BY DAY. JOE ROGAN PODCAST BY

NIGHT. All day.

>> All right, brother. Hey, what's

happening? What's going on?

>> Same [ __ ] Great to be here.

>> Great to see you. How you feeling?

>> My knee like a tiptop [ __ ] my goo.

>> Your knee. I can't believe you could

walk so quickly after getting the knee

fixed again.

>> It was like 3 days, man.

>> That's nuts. But yesterday I [ __ ] it

up at Newark airport because I wanted to

walk,

>> you know, but it was like like I walk

every day at the gym and then I walk my

neighborhood for breakfast and after

dinner. But that's a loop,

>> you know. This was 10 loops yesterday.

So, thank God I had a baggie with

edibles with me on the plane. I ate the

edibles and I put I asked the [ __ ]

flight attendant. She give me some ice

and that's how I got it down. Then I You

rub it with that bortto [ __ ] That

liquid cocaine juice. It's

>> what?

>> Yeah, it's a cream that [laughter] that

became illegal. You buy it over the

counter.

>> What is that?

>> It's Vora something. Vor, don't quote

me, man.

>> But it's a good cream. It numbs your

eye. You have to rub it though twice a

day and

>> Oh, yeah.

>> Yeah. But it's [ __ ] feels fantastic.

>> I've never heard of it.

>> Yeah. Voltron. Voltrax.

>> Vol.

>> Don't listen to me, dog. Just [laughter]

Google. What's that? Is that it?

Voltran. See, I'm

>> Volter. Arthritis pain. And you just rub

it on your knee.

>> Yeah. A couple times a day. Anything

that hurts.

What is it?

>> It's like a [ __ ] gel with cocaine

that takes care of the [laughter]

[ __ ] situation for you.

[snorts]

>> Prescription strength over-the-counter

non-steroidal anti-inflammatory that

penetrates the skin to relieve joint

pain, inflammation, and stiffness.

Interesting. I never heard of it before.

Widely used for osteoarthritis and

muscle aches. Should not be used for

acute injuries like simple strains or

bruises.

Wonder why.

Why can't you use it for strains or

bruises?

Does it say why? That seems weird. Cuz

like that's what people use um like

ibuprofen and [ __ ] for. Wonder why you

can't use

>> like I couldn't use any of that [ __ ] I

could only use Tylenol, whatever the

[ __ ] that is. I couldn't take ibuprofen

after the surgery.

>> No.

>> Have you ever used DMSO?

>> I don't know what that is, Joe.

>> That's this [ __ ] right here.

>> You rub it on? Yeah, they uh that's

another horse tranquilizer. Another

horse medication.

>> Yeah, they they use it in veterinary

applications, but it's a it's really

good for pain. For pain and injury, take

that. Keep it.

>> Okay.

>> No, I have a bunch of them.

>> Thank you.

>> I buy I buy [ __ ] in bulk.

>> We were talking about [snorts] La Zato.

>> Yeah,

>> that was the early steroids which were

the 70s.

>> We don't know what the [ __ ] we were

getting in the 70s. Everything came from

Germany. I think

>> I think they were getting

>> the Roblin all that [ __ ] I think they

were getting human growth hormone from

cadaavvers. See if that's true. Jamie,

put that into our AI sponsored

Perplexity. Did they used to get human

growth hormone from cadaavvers? I think

they did. I think that's how they used

to get it.

>> What do you get human growth hormone

from now?

>> That's a good question. Um, I don't

know. I don't know how they do it. It's

synthetic. I know it's synthetic. So it

must be they isolate the molecule, they

figure out how to reproduce it and then

they make it somehow. I have no idea. Um

but the way they used to do it back then

cadaavver derived human growth hormone

was real used mid 1900s to 1985 and

turned out to be dangerous because it

sometimes trans transmitted pron

diseases like kruxfel jacob yuckub and

is no longer used and has been fully

replaced by synthetic recombinant HDH.

So, uh, Crutzfeld Yuckup disease, that's

mad cow disease. It's the same kind of

disease. And what it comes from is it's

the same thing that cannibals get. When

people eat human brain tissue, they they

get and and neurons and that kind of

[ __ ] You get this same disease. Ala was

one of the first US sports figures to

admit using anabolic steroids in the

last year of his life as he battled

against the brain tumor which eventually

caused his death. Alzador asserted that

his steroid use abuse, his steroid abuse

directly led to his fatal illness. He

recounted his steroid abuse in an

article Sports Illustrated. I started

taking anabolic steroids in 69 and never

stopped. Now I'm sick and I'm scared. I

was addicting mentally. It was addicting

mentally and mentally addicting. 90% of

athletes I know are on the stuff. We're

not born to be 300 lb or jump 30 feet. I

became very violent on the field. Off it

too. I did things only crazy people do.

Once in 1979 in Denver, a guy sideswiped

my car. I chased him up and down the

hills through the neighborhoods. I did

that a lot. I chased a guy, pulling out

of his car, beat the hell out of him.

But look at me now. I wobble when I

walk. And sometimes I have to hold on to

somebody. You have to give me time to

answer questions because I have trouble

remembering things.

>> He died at 43.

>> 43 from cancer.

>> That's how old I am.

>> Wow.

>> He didn't look good at the end. Like he

wore the bandanas. Al Ela was Jewish.

>> Says he was inducted into the Jewish

Hall of Fame.

>> What did it say? Bo, go back to that

what I was just reading.

>> International Jewish

>> Jewish Sports Hall of Fame. I didn't

even know that existed.

>> Okay. Uh, so

I don't know if that was that stuff that

growth hormone did that, but

>> Well, listen, he's saying he can't walk

at the end. and they can't remember.

That's the

>> the knocks to the head and mixed with

whatever was going on.

>> Yeah. I mean, there's

>> with everything else, it becomes

something else. You know,

>> I lied.

>> A midst massive. That's one of those

lies that like everybody, you know, it's

like when bodybuilders say they're

natural. Like, shut the [ __ ] up, [ __ ]

Nobody's that big. Nobody's that big

without help. There's a bunch of goofy

guys out there that still try to claim

natural. Like, come on, son.

>> How many [ __ ] steaks do you eat a

day? like the Barbarian Brothers. 36

eggs.

>> There's some guys that have freak

genetics. They have very unusual

genetics and they get real big

naturally, but that's rare. That's super

super rare.

>> As a matter of fact, I got [snorts]

picked up by an Ubie yesterday. Guess

who was the driver?

>> Who?

>> Yoel Romero's nephew.

>> No way.

>> And he's a judo champion.

>> No way.

>> We talked in Spanish for about 15 20

minutes

>> in Jersey or here.

>> Right here. He lives cuz all these Uber

drivers are Cuban.

>> Really?

>> All of them in Austin.

>> They're all getting replaced by robots.

>> [ __ ] that. The Cubans. I saw a Cuban

yell at the robot a couple last time I

was here. [laughter] He got out of the

car yelling at the car and he realized

and he got back in the car. My bad.

>> That's hilarious.

>> The guy cut him off.

>> They cut you off all the time. It's

[ __ ] way up.

>> No, I stay away from those.

>> They get right in front of you. They're

They're ridiculous.

>> I don't trust those cars at all. And I

don't see how people sit I don't It's

not for me, brother.

>> Did you hear about that lady? She got

into one and a homeless guy was in the

back.

>> No.

>> Yeah. Some guy used the Whimo. He got

his luggage out, left the hatch open.

probably figured the the thing closed

itself. It didn't. Homeless guy hopped

in, shut the door. Lady gets the way mo.

There's a homeless guy in the back. He

starts yelling at her for paying robots.

Why you paying robots? [laughter]

I got to tell you about my homeless

situation this week, Joe.

>> Oh, no.

>> So, my daughter played at Egg Harbor

this weekend. It's like 25 minutes

outside of Atlantic City, which is an

hour and a half from my house. So, we

went down for Saturday's tournament.

They won. Now, we got two more games on

Sunday. So, we got a hotel. I didn't

want to get a hotel at Oceans. I'm going

to be at Oceans in August, but I didn't

want to get go there because all the

other parents were in [ __ ] uh Harris.

So, I said, "Fuck it. I don't want to be

that guy. Oh, I'll stay at Harris with

you." So, the game ended and my wife had

to drive the kids somewhere and I go,

"You know what?" Because every time,

every weekend when I go on those little

trips, I go to a weed store. Like last

week, I went into one in Trenton. Dog,

this was a block from the state capital.

You could see the dome. The black guy

called me back and he goes, "No, no, no.

I got a secret place in the back." He

had mushrooms. Mushroom chocolate.

>> Don't say this. You're gonna get in

trouble,

>> dog. There's 18 stores in [ __ ] uh you

know, you got to figure it out. I'm not

ratting nobody out. They know what's

going on. The cops.

>> They got a back I mean that packaged

mushrooms all different flavors. Blue

Hawaii whole thing.

>> This week I go to Atlantic City. I go to

this one Everel whatever. It's supposed

to be the big one.

>> The big one.

>> The big weed store in Atlantic City. And

it's right by the casino. So, as I pull

up, I park my car in front. As I walk

out, there's four yolked brothers.

Yolked with gold chains on in one of

those [ __ ] suburban millionaire cars.

What do you call the big truck

>> Escalades?

>> No, the other one. The the one that

looks like they're attacking your town.

Not the

>> Oh, AMG G Wagons.

>> I don't [ __ ] know. Anyway, they're in

there. They're in there bumping [ __ ] and

they see me and they go, "Yo, we know

you." And I go, "Yeah, what up, brother?

Hold on. I'll catch you on the way out."

I thought by the time I got out they

would leave.

>> Right.

>> So I went in, I come out and they're all

outside their cars. All four brothers.

Yo, big gold chains like, "Yo, you're

the [ __ ] that goes on Rogan."

No, that's the [ __ ] from the

longest yard. We looked you up. So

they're talking to me, talking to me.

We're rocking and rolling. Rogan

[snorts] the UFC. Yo, what do you think

about that? And I'm loving it. But in

the middle of all this, this black

little homeless crackhead walks his way

over and I could hear him ask the other

guy, "Who's this white motherfucker?"

And the black guy goes, "That's the dude

from The Longest Yard. You know the

football movie." The black guy comes

over and I see him. Walk right over. He

goes, "Hey, Mr. Football Man, why don't

you break out a dollar for me?" He just

bummed me out a dollar. I had to give

him 10. I was so [ __ ] embarrassed in

front of you break out a dollar for me.

>> Why don't you break out a dollar for me,

Mr. Football Star? I gave him a 10. This

[ __ ] ran. He walked up with a

limp, but he ran away.

>> Like, he was going right for crack. I'm

like, these [ __ ] they got a

game for everything.

>> I love it. I love all that [ __ ] Joe.

>> It's fun to be around wacky people every

now and then.

>> Just people living on the edge.

>> But that Atlantic City outside those

casinos, bro, that shit's real.

>> We saw a drug transaction right on the

street when we were down there last.

>> Bro, I'm surprised you didn't see a

hooker get mugged or something like

that. [laughter]

They are not [ __ ] around. I took a

ride Saturday night about 10. Just take

a little ride.

>> Sketchy,

>> bro. You make a ride in some of those

corners, you ain't coming back.

>> And I thought by now they'd at least

build up the outside of AC.

>> No, no, no, no, no, no. It's barely

making money. You know, a AC doesn't do

well. Not like Vegas does. You know what

I mean? Like AC's got some nice spots.

You can go there and have a good time,

but it's not like it's going to grow.

>> You go to Borgat with the Italians and

[ __ ]

>> The outside's too sketch. the Borgata.

All the Italians go down with their

white shoes on the week. Hey, it's got

old. What up? You know,

>> but no, they I don't like the Borgata

that much. I like the I like the couple

hotels down there.

>> There's some nice places.

>> Yeah, we stayed in the BA when it first

opened. You and I, you had a gig there.

You had a gig there.

>> That's right. The thing is, it's not

going to grow like Vegas is. You know,

Vegas is crazy. See, when Vegas had a

head start. The thing like if they tried

to make Vegas now, oo, tough cell. Tough

sell. Too many places to go. You can

gamble everywhere. You can gamble on

your phone now. But when Vegas was

first, there was no casinos in the

country, dog. It was just Vegas. And I

wonder if they made some sort of a deal.

Well, let them blow off atomic bombs.

They blow off these atomic bombs and

then we'll, you know, we'll put the

casinos in.

>> What's the difference? But then we

looked it up and it turned out they made

Vegas before the atomic bomb.

So I'm like, well, what? I guess it was

just gangsters. They just bribed people

or convinced people. There was nothing

going on there.

>> It was a pit stop. They opened up Vegas

for a pit stop for American soldiers to

stop on the way or something like that.

>> Well, was it in the 30s, right? Was it

the 30s, Jamie?

>> Then the guy that owned the comedy store

>> when Vegas was created.

>> Yeah. And the guy that owned the comedy

store, he was in charge of Vegas and he

robbed and they shot him.

>> Same guy as the comedy store.

>> Same guy as the comedy store. So

>> he was in charge.

>> He's [ __ ] genius. That [ __ ] that

[ __ ] was a genius. Well, he got

shot because he stole at the end the

expenses and

>> Oh, is that what it was?

>> The casinos, you know, he gave in those

days they borrowed money from the unions

in Chicago.

>> And then you borrowed that and you

worked off those uh teamster loans,

>> those Jimmy Hoffer loans.

>> Oh, yeah.

>> So, you had to build on those. Well, the

expenses never stopped,

>> right?

>> And they were like, "What the [ __ ] is

going on?" And he was hanging out with

Jane Seymour or something, going back

and forth like a millionaire, like a

movie star, and they ain't lagging. They

shot him.

>> That's why they shot him,

>> I think. So, they shot him in his house

in his eyeball or something.

>> Yeah. In his eyeball.

>> Something like that. I remember that.

So,

>> yeah, there's a picture of his dead body

allegedly online

>> in LA, right? They shot him in LA.

>> So, that was all because of the casinos.

Huh.

>> But then they made it, you know, it's

like when we first went to Denver. The

money was too good.

>> I don't give a [ __ ] if if it's Jesus and

his three disciples, they're going to

take that envelope. It's too good.

>> Well, you know what it was going on in

the beginning? They weren't allowed to

use credit cards, so everything had to

be cash.

>> Cash. Yeah. And it was crazy. So these

guys were leaving the [ __ ] and they

bring like six special forces guys with

them. They'd have [ __ ] green berets

and Navy Seals and [ __ ] like armed to

the tits because they're transferring

millions of dollars in cash.

>> So the whole thing was nuts, man. It was

nuts. I I read this story about the

dilemma like these people are making all

this money and the crazy thing is the

state was making all that money too

because the taxes on the legal weed.

Look this up, please.

>> It's amazing.

>> I think it was like 39%.

>> It's [ __ ] crazy.

>> And everybody was like, "Sure."

>> Like, you would never accept 39% on

alcohol. You never accept 39% on ground

beef.

>> No.

>> But 39% on weed. You're like, "I'll take

it."

>> During the pandemic in LA, you had to

buy an extra tax to go open. That's why

they called them uh what do they called

those businesses that had to be open?

>> Dispensaries.

>> No, no, no. They're businesses that they

had a purpose to be open during the

pandemic.

>> Oh, right. Essential.

>> Essentials. Yeah. They made that

essential, but they they charge an extra

t 10% tax. You know,

>> they're making so much money off weed in

California.

>> But now look at all the weed stores.

They're starting to close,

>> are they?

>> And in Jersey, they created a dilemma

because the state convinced them that

they had a build and all this [ __ ] So

all these places started, you know, you

you're opening up a shop minus 3 mil.

Listen, it's a lot of $20 bags to get

the three three mil.

>> A lot. And not only that, there's a lot

of competition. How many weed stores are

in LA? It's bananas,

>> bro. In Englishtown, New Jersey. There's

four of them. And here's where it gets

better. They're all on the same block.

>> Wow. Do you Did you ever go to that

place in Englewood with me back when it

was uh Only Medical? The Englewood?

>> We used to get the lollipops. Yeah.

>> Yes. Yeah. I went there one time with

you.

>> You know, the guy that ran that got

shot.

>> That dude that we used to deal with, he

got shot in that store.

>> They killed him.

>> No, I think he lived. Uh I'm not sure

though. Look that up. He might have

died.

>> Yeah. It's the first place you had the

lollipops from on Fear Factor.

>> Yes.

>> It was from that guy, right?

>> Yeah. Englewood Wellness Center. That

was in the '9s. That was in the days

where it was uh legal uh if you had a

medical reason. And any medical reason

would do. Oh, my feet hurt. Get in

there. [laughter]

>> Sign them up.

>> But anybody who does martial arts uh has

the pain excuse because everybody's in

pain and it does help you with pain.

There's a like if you could take

aspirin, THC, like gummies with CBD are

phenomenal for aches and pains, man.

>> You remember Dave Foley?

>> Yeah.

>> Dave Foley's hand, Of course you do.

Dave Foley's hand was all [ __ ] up from

arthritis. He started taking CBD and now

his hand is full function again.

>> CBD is amazing.

>> CBD's They just blew it up out of

content a couple years ago.

>> Well, who knows who's making it and what

the quality, right? But no,

>> that's the things when when things are

gray, you get a bunch of douchebags

making stuff. You know, I used to have a

bit about that about the gummy bears.

Like they're not making these gummy

bears in the same labs where they're

making Tylenol. They're very

inconsistent. You get one of them, you

swear it's a thousand milligrams and the

other one feels like it's like a 100.

They barely make sense. Back in the day,

back in, you know, when the it was the

wild west,

>> I got 500 milligrams in my pocket. They

feel [laughter] like 500 milligrams

whether you take

>> Well, now I don't think you could do

that anymore. I'm talking about like way

back in the day it was different because

way back in the day there was like it

was the wild west.

>> First of all, way back in the day they

didn't put warnings on this [ __ ] No.

>> You didn't know how many milligrams were

in this stuff. And I remember eating a

brownie one time and flying up to

Pittsburgh and the red eye and my leg

wouldn't stop tapping. Like [laughter]

it wouldn't stop [ __ ] tapping.

>> I remember one time we were on a plane.

You had a panic attack and then you

waited like an hour later and then

popped two more. [laughter]

>> [ __ ] yeah. I was like, "How are you

doing that?" You're like, "Joe Rogan, I

almost got off the plane. I couldn't

take it. I couldn't breathe. My [ __ ]

heart was closing. It was like my chest

was closing in on me. The walls were

closing in. I thought the plane was

going to crash. I was freaking out. I

almost had turn the [ __ ] plane

around.

>> But I'm back, baby. Two more."

>> You have no idea what I put myself

through over the years.

>> Why do you do that?

>> Because I just want to take a chance.

Columbus did. I mean, [laughter]

I'm sitting at home. It's 2:00 in the

afternoon. You're bored as [ __ ] be like

the devil.

>> Let's see what happens. And the only

thing that would hold me back is if I

had a spot that night.

>> Oh, yeah.

>> Then I would tame it and be like a

couple hundred milligrams. But

>> you don't want to go up on stage with

too much edible.

>> Yes, you do.

>> Sometimes. Yes, you do. Sometimes you

need to.

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important safety information. Sometimes

it's important to go off into the woods,

right? Yeah. Sometimes you should stay

on the trail.

>> Yeah. But listen,

>> you filming a special, stay on the

trail.

>> Last week I went to do a spot. I

figured, let me wait five weeks. I

haven't been on stage since April 18th.

Let me go do a spot. I'm nervous. I get

down there and there's 50 people.

Perfect. Break my cherry. Do it.

I got into such a groove. I ended up

doing an hour. That was because the

edible I took before I went on stage. No

material. I told you that I got nothing.

>> Right.

>> That's it. I'm starting over from

scratch.

>> Got nothing. I talked about going to the

hospital and then it just became

something else. And at the end, I was up

there an hour.

>> Wow. Wow. My leg was starting to [ __ ]

throb. But

>> did you film it or record or anything?

>> No, I just I didn't know it was going to

be gold. I just

>> Right. Right.

>> But that's why THC somebody said THC is

like a a band substance for comics

because it make if you really let it

absorb you and I'm not telling you to

smoke pop, but that I had an audition.

Whenever I have an audition, I read it.

I put it away. I get stoned. And then I

go back and I look at it again. Complete

different sheet. Now I can pick out

things. Now I could point.

>> Then I leave it again. I get high and I

come back like an hour later. And that's

what I think THC makes me just relax.

Look, look, I live in anxiety naturally.

Naturally. I beat myself up. This

morning it's 8:30. I'm drinking coffee

outside the four seasons. I'm like, why

am I thought I had somewhere to go,

>> dude?

>> I got nowhere to go.

>> You just gave yourself an anxiety for no

reason.

>> Yeah, cuz I always think I got somewhere

to [ __ ] go at 10:00 in the morning.

That's why when my daughter gets on that

bus to school at 7:15, I start blasting

[laughter]

>> because then I know I ain't got nowhere

to go. Like, you know, you make a list

every day and you go, "This is what I'm

going to do today."

>> And then you [ __ ] uh, you know,

>> wake up and you look at that list after

you smoke and you're like,

>> "That's a long drive up to New York City

today. I ain't doing that podcast." You

know, [laughter]

that's a [ __ ] long drive up into that

[ __ ]

>> Yeah. The driving in New York is not a

joke. That's an endeavor.

>> Yeah. No,

>> you got you got to take a day. Like

that's your day. Your day is driving in

and driving out. You're not going to the

gym. You're not doing all that other

stuff like No, I'm saying if you if got

to drive into New Jersey, that's your

day. It's not like, "Oh, I'll go there.

That's at noon. I'll hit the gym at

2:30." Uh-uh. No, you won't. You'll be

in traffic for 3 hours.

>> For 3 hours.

>> I always go to do that [ __ ] early and

get it over with. And uh like on days

that I have to go to the city up north,

I'll just take that as a day off. Like

I'll work that day before so I could go

up there comfortably and not sweat it.

>> Yeah.

>> But it's got some days I get up and I'm

like, I'm not going up there. I got to

work out today.

>> Listen, this is one of the big things

that Texas has or Austin has in

particular over the East Coast is the

[ __ ] traffic. The traffic here is a

joke. They talk about traffic. It's

adorable. You might be 10 extra minutes.

>> Whoopde-doo. It's adorable. Occasionally

a car accident happens and there's a

bunch of people stopped. That [ __ ]

happens everywhere in the world. But for

the most part, the East Coast is so

thick with people. You don't realize it

until you have to make that trip to New

Jersey and back and forth. You know,

when we do uh the UFC's, if we go into

New Jersey uh to the UFC and then with

the weigh-ins, then we have to go back

to New York to play pool

>> at 6:00. That's pool. Oh my god, it's

crazy. Go to New York to eat and to play

pool and it's [ __ ] it's a mad house.

>> Think about it. What it was like the

last two weeks. Jim Florentine said he

went into the city Saturday was 3 hours

because of the Nick [ __ ] They

weren't even playing.

>> They weren't even playing.

>> People were so upset that Trump was

going to go to the NBA because if he's

there then they have all these crazy

security protocols. It makes the traffic

even worse.

>> There was no parties. There was no

nothing. He should stick to the UFC.

They're going to boo him everywhere

else.

>> Oh, they booed him to I didn't watch the

whole game. I was out.

>> Some people cheered. I heard it was like

cheers and booze, but the problem is

>> if there's cheers and any booze there if

there's like 50/50 like that's that's

don't go to that spot. Go to the UFC.

People say he got booed at the UFC. I've

seen him at the UFC

six times or something like that. I

don't know how many times. Never get

booed.

>> They love him.

>> He's never gotten booed. They [ __ ]

cheer. The people that say they're

booing him, you're distorting reality.

It's not true. They cheer him like he he

walks in there to the American badass

song. Especially if Kid Rock is with him

and Dana White's behind him and then

sometimes Tucker Carlson was there too

back on when they were close. It was

like the conservative Avengers. It was

like this is ridiculous. They

>> He was the kiss of death last night. I

bet against the Knicks last night. Me

and Jamie, we were like, "Fuck that.

Getting two and a half.

>> Why they only giving two and a half?

They're up two games. What are you a

[ __ ]

>> Two and a half. They were given last

night. Everybody in their mother, even

[ __ ] your daughter bet the Knicks

last night giving two and a half.

>> Do you um bet sports all the time?

>> How often you bet [snorts]

>> this type of the year? I bet basketball

because it's real. There's defense.

>> Do you use uh do you use an app? Like

what do you do? Draftings. DraftKings.

You do it on DraftKings.

>> Everything is on DraftKings.

>> All right. You don't have a bookie?

>> No.

>> Yeah.

>> No. I enjoy because DraftKings has so

many fun. Like there's bookies out

there. Like they just keep busting these

mafia rings in Jersey and New York. 39

people. They had the big bust last year

with the basketball coaches that they

put the cards up and you could see

through the [ __ ] cards on the table.

It's a it's gambling has grown to a

[ __ ] nightmare. We're going to pay

for this in 5 years. But when I went to

college after orientation, you walked

out and there was credit card companies,

Discover, Mastercard, Visa, and they

give you a credit card for being a

student for 250 automatic right there.

And that now when you go to those

orientation days, DraftKings is there.

>> You know, the other ones, FanDuel's

there, and I'm not putting them down. I

love DraftKings, but you're coping these

kids. These kids don't have enough

problems with [ __ ] student loans

>> right

>> now. I'm going to put a [ __ ] thing.

More people are gambling more than ever.

>> Than ever than ever.

>> In Australia, too. My buddy McCann, you

know, James McCann. Yeah. He was talking

about how crazy it is in Australia.

>> Yeah. It's uh it's in What is those?

What's the odds on the Ilia Taporia

Justin Gatey fight at the White House?

>> To pick them, is it? No. No. Tapora has

to be a huge favorite. I guarantee

Tapora is two to one.

>> Four to one.

>> Four to one. Yeah. Oh my god.

>> Four to one's crazy. Two to one.

If you just think about what he's done

in his last three fights, he's had the

most legendary run in MMA championship

history. In his last three fights, he

knocked out three all-time greats.

Knocks out Alexander Vulcganowski,

knocks out Max Holloway, knocks out

Charles Olivivera. Three in a row. Like,

anybody who could do that, you go, I'm

not [ __ ] betting anything against

that guy. But Justin Gachi is a tough

character, son.

>> So if I bet 25 bucks on Gage, I win

>> 100

>> 100. 4 to one.

>> Four to one. Yeah. Um which is uh Look,

it's minus 426 for Toporia. They're like

4 to1 is not enough.

>> Caesar says 600.

>> Caesar says 600. Caesars is smart.

[laughter]

But the thing is, man, don't think that

Justin Gai can't win. Like anybody can

lose in an MMA fight. People get hit.

Like in Iliot Aoria, one of his early

fights, one of I think his first fight

in the UFC at lightweight, he took it on

short notice and he fought this dude um

Jai Herbert who's a really tall, really

good striker. And Jai Herbert caught him

with a head kick in the first round, a

switch kick to the dome that dropped

him. It was perfect, but he recovered

brilliant. He got a hold of him, took

him to the ground, recovered, and then

came back and devastating knockout in

the second round. Like, he [ __ ] puts

people into orbit, man. His power is

crazy. He's not a big guy either, man.

Justin's a much bigger guy than him, but

the way he knocks guys out, it's just

dead. He knocks them out dead. But so

does Gachi. People forget it. Gachi is a

[ __ ] Warhammer, dude. That guy loves

battles. He loves

>> saying this is not I don't think

>> it's a tough fight, man.

>> This is a tough [ __ ] fight. I could

both this and this is this Sunday,

right? Correct.

>> It's this Sunday. Gachi's bigger. So,

[ __ ] yeah. I'm going. So, Gachi's

bigger. Gatechi used to fight um at um

what was it called? The IFL. Was it

whatever the organization was before the

he came to the UFC? I think it was it

was before the PFL. It was like another

one. But what was it? What did he What

was the organiz You know, there's these

feeder organizations like the PFL. A lot

of really good fighters that wind up

becoming champions start out there.

>> Was that it?

>> World Series of Fighting. That's right.

That's what it was. And I mean, he was

[ __ ] people up with leg kicks. But it

was the way he was fighting would just

throw himself into chaos.

>> Like he he didn't fight tactically at

all back then.

>> No. like the you ever see the Michael

Johnson fight with him in the UFC.

>> It's his first fight in the UFC. It's

one of the craziest [ __ ] fights ever

because he just [ __ ] throws himself

at Michael Johnson and Michael Johnson

throws himself right back. I It was a

They got hurt. Both guys got cracked. It

was a crazy fight, but eventually Justin

got him. But it was the way he fought

you like good lord.

>> Yeah, he fights

>> like a pitbull. [clears throat] Like a

pitbull. Like no concern for his safety.

Just dive in. It was a [ __ ] crazy

fight. And look how Dustin is always

just trying to kill you. He's always

move. Look at that. Every shot he's

trying to [ __ ] kill you. He's always

moving forward trying to smash you. And

the thing is he relishes this kind of

combat so much that in the beginning he

lost some fights that he could have won

if he tempered it. If and then he did.

So, and then when he went on this like

legendary run, started beating

everybody. It's really because he

controlled the violence a little bit

more. He controlled the chaos, but it

was still like very technical violence.

It wasn't like he was brawling dumb. He

was just forcing himself into chaos so

much. He was throwing himself right into

the fire over and over and over again.

This is a dangerous [ __ ] guy. He's a

dangerous [ __ ] guy for anybody.

>> I mean, he had hit Kabib. He hurt him

with some calf kicks.

>> His He could do that, too. He leg kicks

you from inside the clinch. One of the

things that he does really well is from

like he could get you with like a collar

tie and he's leg kicking you. Look, he

gives him the finger and tells him to

get up. I mean, Michael Johnson's

getting battered. This is a tough fight

for him at this point. We're in round

two. Look at that knee to the body.

Just everything's trying to kill you.

It's not like uh this tactical

take a chance here, take a chance there.

No, everything's take a chance. It's

like from the very beginning of the

fight and this is how he fight. He

eventually took him out. But it was a

crazy fight.

>> He fights like I told you Haggler used

to fight. They weren't thinking about

brain damage,

>> right?

>> Haggler, all those dudes were not

thinking about that. We were talking

about that with with football before.

>> You know what I just watched the other

day? Mustafa Ham Show. Haggler versus

Mustafa Ham Show.

>> Did they battle?

>> Haggler took him out. But it was just

Haggler in his prime. He was beautiful

at that, bro. He was so [ __ ] so good.

He was so good. And he was so good at

switching stances, man. When no one was

doing that back then. Haggler would

fight southpaw. He would fight Orthodox.

He would [ __ ] you up. You didn't know

where it was coming from. And he could

fight just as good Southpaw as he could

Orthodox. It was amazing. It was an

amazing fight to watch. Like, god, that

guy was great. So disciplined.

>> Yeah. Some good fights this week. I'm

excited for the car. I thought it was

Saturday.

>> Yeah. Amy posted up that the serial gun

Alex Pereira fight is the closest fight

in the card is in terms of odds. It's

like even odds and that's a that's a

serial gun's a tall order. That's a tall

order for your first heavyweight fight

in the UFC.

>> Caesar says that as a pickum.

>> A pickum. Yeah, I would say it's a pick

them. I would say it's a pickham. Um

Sirill Gan is really good. And the thing

about Sirill Gan is the problems that

he's had in fights or when guys take him

down. when guys stand with him, he is

very tricky. He's very slick. He's very

technical and he's he's very light on

his feet for a big guy. Like he moves

really well. Like one of the best movers

in the heavyweight division for sure.

He's he's like he dances on his feet. He

also does a weird thing off his front

leg. He throws a front kick when he's

standing sideways like in a bladed

stance like this and he picks it up and

twists it into your stomach. Bang. Like

that. It's weird. Like it works. Oh, no.

It's a kick. I mean, it's called a

twisting kick. Twisting kick.

>> It's just you don't ever see people

throwing that kick from the front leg

like he does. Like, he does a lot of

>> he does a lot of weird [ __ ] that you

have to get used to. Like that Tom

Aspenol fight, man. He was he was

scoring very well on the feet. And I

know it got stopped because of the eye

pokes, but before the eye poke, Sirill

Gan was doing very well on the feed

against Aspenol. And Aspenol is a big

fast heavyweight.

It's going to be interesting because I

don't I don't you know know if Pereira

is going to have an issue with the

movement, you know, if he's going to be

able to shut that movement down and I

don't know if Sirill Gan is going to be

able to like if he's going to want

exchange with him. He might feel that

power and say I'm just going to fight on

the outside cuz Pereira's got that you

make one mistake power.

>> He looks good at heavyweight.

>> He looks like he gained the weight. He

looks yolked.

>> He's he's huge. And on top of that, no

dieting. So no depleting of his body at

all. You're going to have a guy

competing for the first time where he's

never had to cut weight. That's huge.

That's a giant advantage. Not having to

cut weight is like they let you take

steroids. You can't you don't have to

cut weight. No cutting weight at all. If

they changed weight cutting, if they cut

all weight cutting out of MMA, you'd

have like 20% better performances.

people would be fighting so much better

because they would they would feel so

much healthier. They would be so much

more durable. There wouldn't be as many

like one-shot knockouts where you're

like, "Whoa, that got them." Because a

lot of these guys like their brain is

still dehydrated when they're in there

fighting. It's only 24 hours after they

rehydrate. That's not enough time to get

to the brain.

>> I would go to weighins with you and

these guys would come in like they

looking like they had cancer.

>> They look dead. Yeah.

>> They I would see them and then they

would IV in the back. Then I think they

cut out IVs afterwards. They cut out

IVs.

>> I remember being there with you and

looking at these guys coming in.

>> They were dying.

>> They looked like they were on that

[ __ ] GLP for 10 years. Like [ __ ]

Sharon Osborne's daughter. I mean, they

were looking [ __ ] up, Jack.

>> Yeah, they looked dead. Some guys looked

real. You remember when Anderson Silva

fought Travis Lutter? Do you remember

that fight?

>> Yeah. The jiu-jitsu guy from Texas?

>> Exactly.

>> Yes.

>> He That was the worst I ever saw anybody

at a weigh-in.

>> He looked really [ __ ]

>> And again, this was not the ceremonial

weigh-in like we have now. This was like

the actual weigh in. See if you can make

the weight. And Travis couldn't walk. He

was shuffling. He couldn't pick his legs

up. His his lips were cracked. Like he

his body was dried out.

>> Can't be good for you like that. And

then to pick it back up and then go

throw rounds, throw punches 8:00 the

next night.

>> Meanwhile, I mean, he was so depleted,

but he got a hold of Anderson the first

round. It took him down. And that's what

he wanted to do. And Travis in Texas.

>> Yeah. [laughter]

>> Kevin Holland's uh coach.

>> Oh [ __ ] Yeah.

>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, Travis is a bad

[ __ ]

>> Was a bad [ __ ]

>> He was a when guys rolled with him on

the Ultimate Fighter. You know, one of

um one of the best compliments one of

the guys said, he goes, "Dude," he goes,

"I've rolled with only a couple guys

like that is like him and Ricardo

Laboro." I go, "Really?" I go, "That guy

feels like Ricardo Laboro. He's that

level." He goes, he's like, "Dude, he

was running through people. Just running

through people on the ground." Travis

was a beast. He was one of the first

like truly elite Brazilian jiu-jitsu

black belts in like the modern era, like

the Anderson Silva era. Whereas when he

got guys to the ground, you were in

trouble. You're in real trouble. There's

a few guys Charles Olivera is the big

one. Charles Olivera puts people in

positions they're like, "Oh no, what

have I done?" Like you think you're

going to be comfortable like in his

guard like pitch. You're never going to

be comfortable on the ground with

Olivea. Olive is just so dangerous

everywhere.

>> 20 years of jiu-jitsu, correct? 20

years. They've been doing since they

were a kid. Yep. So, it's like stand up.

>> Great camp. He's from that shoot the box

camp. I mean, that camp produced

Anderson Silva. Um, Marie, um, Ninja,

uh, Shogun, like who else? No.

>> Ple Ple, the one of the original MMA

fighters back in the bare knuckle days.

He was the the top dude in the original

in the original days. No, Noggera is not

from Shootbox. Noggera is a Carlson

Gracie guy. Those was he is Carlson

Gracie, right? No,

>> Carlson's in Chicago.

>> No, no Ggera wasn't Carlson Gracie.

Noggera was um I don't want to get that

wrong. Who was Noggera's trainer?

Menitaro Noggera, his original jiu-jitsu

coach.

>> [ __ ] brother. Probably.

>> No, both of them were elite teasing you.

They were twins.

>> They were twins, right?

>> Yeah, they were twins. They were both

elite. They were both like world class

fighters in pride.

Does it say his jiu-jitsu coach?

>> Pull up his wik.

>> Minotauro was the first like he was the

first guy that was like finishing elite

guys off of his back in pride. Like he

was tapping to like when he was the

champion in pride. Like you remember

when he beat Bob Sap?

>> No.

>> Bob Sap was 350 lbs with abs. And the

the fight was crazy. He picks Minotauro

up and spikes him on his head in the

beginning of the fight. [ __ ] his neck

up for years. Like his neck was [ __ ]

up after that fight and still survived

and eventually caught Bob Sappin and

Armbar, but it was bananas.

Omry Bet. Okay. Yeah, there you go. Omry

Bet is another guy who fought early in

the UFC.

So that's his coach for one. Where did

he get his black belt? Just see where he

got his black belt from.

Just ask the question, who gave

Minotaurro his black belt?

Uh, let me say, okay, Hicardo Daha,

that's his primary instructor.

There you go. Okay.

Yeah, he was. Uh,

>> so we could assume he invented the delah

he hook

>> probably. There's a bunch of moves that

are attributed to guys that it's not

quite sure whether or not they invented

it, but they were really good at it, you

know.

>> How much fun is that getting somebody

and taking them down?

>> It's fun.

>> I can't finish the leg lock. I never

could. I'm [ __ ] terrible. I can't get

my arms around it. I'm [ __ ] My

shoulders are [ __ ] up.

>> Leg locks are scary.

>> Yeah, I don't like all of that [ __ ] You

[ __ ] them up, you know, you twist the

wrong way, you turn the wrong way, you

hear things pop. E, scary.

>> You still training with private? No

more?

>> No, I haven't over a year. I haven't

done any coming in with you.

>> I was for a while. I have a I got a knee

problem. It's much better now. I've been

really working on it over the last 6

months, but it kept swelling after a

while. The the thing is it would get

better and uh I'd it would feel pretty

good and then I'd hurt it again. And

usually I heard it like a year ago

hunting. I twisted it. hunting and then

um I've I've also heard it like hitting

the back too. Like sometimes I just

start whailing on the back

>> of you forget.

>> Yeah,

>> you forget.

>> It's just the next day it's sore as

[ __ ] It's like I don't have meniscus on

one part of my knee. So I have to make

sure that it doesn't get arthritic. You

know what I mean? Because

>> like I don't have to tell you like once

your knee gets bad, it's a real problem.

It's a problem. And so you got to like

walk that edge between when you don't

have cartilage or you don't have

meniscus and your cartilage is getting

bone on bone like that. Like you got to

be careful. You got to be careful.

They're getting real close to fixing

[ __ ] Real close. They're injecting like

different kinds of gels in people's

knees now that re replace the meniscus.

And they're also doing some new stem

cell therapy where they go into the bone

itself and it regenerates

>> cartage. But that gel, they always work

you with that gel. I think it's a new

one, Joey. It's a It's like a It's They

call it a biological matrix.

>> You need to [ __ ] get like a You need

to get like a uh insurance approval and

all that. Yeah, I did it. That's just

all those things. It's like when you see

an ad for somebody, do you have problems

sleeping? Buy this mouthpiece for

$29.99.

>> I don't think you got what they have now

because this is just released in

Germany. This is this is brand new. But

this gel, like I'm just saying to you,

the gel, the cortisol. I have friends

with knee problems and they tell me what

they go through and they go to different

doctors and it's the same [ __ ] we got

cortisol for you.

>> We got the gel. We're not going to do

the PRP and we don't do stem cell. So

you Joe regular, you don't do no

reading. This is what happened to me

with the [ __ ] why I did the surgery

in the first place. you had moved here

and I didn't know about ways to well if

not I wouldn't have never cut this knee

the first time never never

>> I didn't read up on it because when my

wife was pregnant I read up on all that

[ __ ] and I was I didn't want to have the

baby no more cuz it said when you're old

for 43 you'll die if you give them birth

like so if you're not ready when you get

older as a woman you know now women are

having kids at 50s and [ __ ] 55s

>> but a woman has to be she has like a

short window And they have a lot of

things that could go wrong with the

pregnancy. When I read that, I got

nervous for my wife. I'm like, she's

going to die on a [ __ ] table

>> and I'm stuck raising a girl. I don't

know how to [ __ ] raise a girl, you

know? What am I going to do here? So, I

didn't really I researched it a little

bit after I got the kn after I went and

I saw the [ __ ] the chisel and the

[ __ ] mallet on the table. I go, we

got to look into this when I get out of

here. Like, this is [ __ ] insane. I

would have never done the redo knee. I

would have waited, shot it with stem

cell, BPCed it. At that time, I was

still a little fearful of needles. So, I

was like, uh, BPC them everything is you

got to shoot it.

>> You're feel fearful of needles, but not

of a knee replacement. That's hilarious.

>> No, I'm broke. Now, I'm fine [laughter]

now. It took It took four days in the

hospital last year to [ __ ] like go.

One day they had to come in and take

blood out of me every 20 minutes for 3

hours.

>> Why?

>> It's that type of test. They shoot you

with something to see how you react to

it.

>> Wow. And dog, I didn't faint one time. I

don't faint no more. Unless like last

time I weighs too well. I went in there

hung over on those tequilas from

[laughter] the mother ship drinking that

Ron White juice and [ __ ] I went in

there with no breakfast like we need to

take blood out within minutes. I'm pale.

I'm sweating profusiously. They got to

put ice on my back and on my neck and

[ __ ] And when I did the when they turn

the switch off on your leg, what's that?

When you do that little before surgery,

when I first hurt the knee, they said,

"We're not going to give you pain

medication, but if you're really hurting

that bad, come on down here and we'll

give you a nerve block."

>> Oh, they give you a nerve block.

>> Joe Rogan. Holy [ __ ]

>> Well, who did that? Where' they do that?

>> Because the place where I went for

surgery, the first time they're [ __ ]

>> Uhhuh.

>> This place is specialized in all that

stuff. So, they have their own therapy.

They have their own uh like the surgeons

and then they have a pain department

>> that they talk to you

>> and they go listen you could take this

you want it we'll give it to you but

let's do this let's try it with this

they don't want you you know and I

understand it people lose their minds on

those [ __ ] things so I did the nerve

block first Joe

holy [ __ ] holy [ __ ] and when I went to

the doctor about a month ago the girl

was like I was there that day I go when

I fainted she goes you didn't faint but

you sure came goes. She goes, "You lost

all the color in your face. It's crazy,

Joey. Had to drink water." And then the

epidural block. You ever do one of

those?

>> No. Well, no, I did when I got my knee

surgery.

>> Yeah, they always knee surgery you I

thought they put you out for those.

>> They did most of the time, but my first

ACL I asked if I could watch. And uh he

said, "You don't want to watch it?" I

go, "No, I do. I don't want to I only

want to get this done once. I want to

see it. Can I watch it?"

>> Where'd you see it? And they shot in a

nail on your spine.

Well, they shot it in my spine and so it

it you don't feel anything in your legs

and I watched him open my knee up and

put it together again.

>> [ __ ] you, Joe. That's [laughter]

>> the epidural block is one of the wor

>> I wanted to see. I'm like, I don't want

to do this once. I I didn't know that I

was going to have another ACL surgery.

Eight years.

>> So, you didn't get put out for your

surgery?

>> No, not the first one. The second one I

did.

>> That's insane, Joe. That's [ __ ]

insane. I love you that you're Zombo and

[ __ ] but

>> I wanted to watch.

>> No, I want to watch a lot of things.

>> I want to see what it looks like because

it's kind of crazy. They're going to

take your knee, take a slice out of your

patella tendon along with a chunk of

bone and a chunk of bone for your

kneecap and then they screw it back in

place. I'm like, this is crazy. I want

to watch. Held up. Still [clears throat]

good. The the real problem was the

meniscus. So, they didn't even take the

meniscus out then. They just um stitched

it up. There was a tear in the meniscus,

but it wasn't too bad. and he thought it

could heal, you know, cuz I was my in my

20s. I was like 23, I think, 22. Um, and

then, uh, over time it just got wore out

that that tear became a bucket handle

tear and then it would lock. So, it

would pull the meniscus would pull up

and like lock in place. It was [ __ ]

insanely painful. And I was like, "This

keeps happening." It happened a couple

of times. It was like it happened in

jiu-jitsu class and Eddie Bravo had to

take me to the doctor. So Eddie Bravo

had to drive my NSX. We drove straight

to the doctor and you know they tell me

I need to get my meniscus removed. I'm

like okay. And then he told me I need to

stop doing martial arts. I was like okay

that's cute.

>> That's the first thing they'll tell you.

>> Yeah. You got to stop doing martial

arts.

>> They everything. No martial arts. No

this.

>> 30 years later. [ __ ] you.

>> Can we get one of those in the medium

ones? What are these?

>> These are Alps. Those are That's Tucker

Carlson's one. It's uh Those are good.

It's uh six six milligrams. These are

threes. This is athletic nicotine.

That's threes. I like those. They don't

make you jittery.

Those those take a hell of a hit. Tucker

likes them strong.

>> I like them, but they [ __ ] I always

swallow them by mistake and they

[laughter] [ __ ] Next thing you know,

I'm [ __ ] pouches and [ __ ] I had

pouch. They have focus ones.

>> Yeah, that's that's these ultras.

>> Yeah, I do the ultras.

>> I don't have them in this room anymore.

I was doing those after I had the

surgery.

>> Those are great. Yeah, they are.

>> There's a bunch of really good things

for your focus. People that think it's

all [ __ ] you know, like that

neutropics are [ __ ] and you're

allowed to think whatever you want, but

trust me, from someone who uses uses his

brain for a living, there's a difference

between taking neutropics and not taking

them. It's not going to make you

smarter, but it'll make your brain

function at a better level. There's a

bunch of [ __ ] that works like that.

Like, you know those um those ketone

drinks, like ketone IQ, that helps a

lot.

>> Really?

>> Yeah. Your brain uses ketones. Your

brain uses ketones for focus. That's why

people that take ketogenic diets and go

on carnivore diet, they say it gives

them like more mental clarity. You have

more more focus. It's fact. Like I feel

different when I'm eating like clean. If

I'm eating like carnivore, just eggs and

steak, my brain works better 100%.

>> It's just not processing the carbs and

all the fog that comes with that. Not

that carbs are bad for you,

>> but when you um take this stuff, this

stuff is the [ __ ] This is my friend

Derek's Gorilla Mind. This is a

neutropic drink. It's

>> like an energy drink. No,

>> no, it's got some caffeine in. It's got

a good amount of caffeine, but it's got

a bunch of neutropics. So, there's a

bunch of like brain vitamins in there.

>> You know anything about

>> Yeah, I'm not selling this. This is uh

my friends,

>> you know, I'm not uh you know that I

have a great memory with dates and I can

take you to different situations,

>> stories.

>> I don't know what happened the last

three years.

>> How come? If I talked to you on a

Monday, which I usually do, you call me

Mondays on the way home at 6,

whatever we talked about by Thursday,

I don't remember. Like you'll say, "Call

me back. When you find out, I'll [ __ ]

forget now." Like just little things.

>> Recent this last few years.

>> Last few years. I could see, you know,

you know, you're 60. A lot of [ __ ]

changes. You You

>> You know, it's really weird. Joe, I need

eight now.

>> I need eight. Sorry. I need eight.

>> Eight what?

>> Hours of sleep. Eight. Solid. I got the

whoop. I need it.

>> Makes a difference.

>> Six and a half. Don't cut it. Done.

>> Done.

>> I need eight now. And don't get me

started on an hour nap or an hour or 15

nap at 2 or 3:00 in the afternoon. If I

get up in the morning, I get up at 6.

>> So I put her on the bus. I start smoking

weed at 9. I'm at a gym. I'm doing

something. Boxing, PT, you know. So by

[ __ ] 2:00, dog, there's days I walk

in, there ain't no stopping. There ain't

no pissing. I go right to the bed, put

the mask on, and go right to sleep.

Just like that. I mean, there's no

thought. There's no stop it, get what is

that monopoly? Stop it, go and get 200.

[laughter] Ain't none of that. I come

in, I drop my bag, I pee, and I walk

right upstairs right to the bed. I move

the cat over. Get the [ __ ] over.

[laughter] And I [ __ ] put that mask

on.

>> Does the cat cuddle with you while

you're sleeping?

>> Oh, please. And he goes under the blank.

She goes under the blank with me, too.

So, it's perfect.

>> That's funny.

>> But, dog, it's not no more. Like, I'm

don't fly out early no more.

>> [ __ ] you.

>> Yeah, you need you need a solid amount

of sleep. As you get older, it's even

more important. You know what else is

really important? Creatine.

>> I take 10 milligrams twice a day.

>> Beautiful.

>> Beautiful.

>> Beautiful. That's phenomenal for your

memory and that's a really good

neutropic as well.

>> I don't like the gummies. I never got

You had some gummies on here.

>> Good. I like them.

>> My neighbor gave them to me that you had

them.

>> I prefer to just open it up and pour it

in my mouth and then drink water.

>> Yeah, me too. I like the powder, too.

>> Yeah. I put like the 10 milligrams in my

mouth and I just drink water.

>> You don't put it on your food, do you?

>> No.

>> I just keep put I put in a smoothie from

time to time. I like the raspberries

with coconut water. the make the best

way to make sure that I'm getting all 10

milligrams is to just pour it in my

mouth and then drink water with it

because otherwise it's in the glass. You

got to rinse the glass and get more of

it in. You know, you're giving yourself

an exact dose. Just put it in your

mouth. Dry scoop it. So, I just dry

scoop it in my mouth and then pour the

water in there. Okay,

>> that's how I do it most of the time.

What the gummies are really good for is

if you forget and they're just laying

around, you just eat a couple of

gummies.

>> You know,

>> I don't know how many milligrams are in

the nose, right?

[ __ ] I think two gummies is 5 millig.

I think that's what it is.

>> I also got turned on to a creatine

company that has a creatine precursor.

Is that

>> creatine? A precursor.

>> Creatine precursor.

>> I don't know what that is.

>> Your own body creates creatine

>> on its own. This helps.

>> Oh, interesting.

>> The body I think it's called a

precursor. Don't [ __ ]

>> Yeah, I don't know.

>> Hey, did I say just right off with a

[ __ ] You know what I'm saying? I

[laughter] know that cuz I'm saying it

wrong. like Voltron. I don't [ __ ]

know, guys.

>> I'm sure there's something. I mean,

there's always a bunch. I mean, there's

if you think about how many supplements

are out there. Like, good lord, there's

so many supplements. And not all of them

are good, but a lot of them are really

good. Here's another one that's really

good for working out. Beta alanine. You

ever take that?

>> No.

>> Phenomenal. Phenomenal.

>> I take everything else. It's just

>> makes you tingle, though. Makes your

skin like itch.

>> You ever take iodine?

>> No. Iodine.

>> Yeah. Like you there's a pill or

something. You take iodine to help you.

You're supposed to do that if you get

radiation poisoning.

>> Listen, when the first piss test came

out, they said you would take iodine. So

again,

>> you put Clorox in your dick.

>> I put Clorox in my dick afterward

[laughter] because the iodine obviously

didn't [ __ ] work. Okay.

[laughter]

>> Imagine when they read your piss through

the [ __ ] test machine, they be like,

"What? What did What is this?"

>> Do you understand?

>> This isn't piss. [laughter]

>> Do you understand? Like one of the best

times I go every morning I go out and

take my cup of coffee and I sit outside.

I thank God, you know, the whole [ __ ]

[ __ ] story. And then it takes me

somewhere like after the second cup of

coffee and one of these zins and a

bonget, your mind goes somewhere and I

think of chunks of my life and I go,

"What the [ __ ] was that?"

>> Like that was Joe. That was insanity.

What about every time he used to come to

my house to do the checkup, I never let

him in. He came like 11 times in two

years. I never let him in my house. He

wouldn't know I was in [laughter] the

house. He would put the sheriffs to come

and sit outside my house for two hours.

Then they would leave. They're like,

"We're not going to He's not home." I

never let him in my house. I tortured

that guy. That's right.

>> He could have sent me to prison. I still

would have been in prison.

>> But it was such a like first it was the

iodine

>> and then you [ __ ] you know, you're

supposed to take 20 milligrams. I mean,

200, whatever. I don't know. And my skin

is burning. I'm [ __ ] red in the face.

I got issues. So, I stopped with the

iodine. I still came back positive. Then

I went on the [ __ ] uh white vinegar.

>> White vinegar.

>> White vinegar with a [ __ ] bottle of

Gatorade on a Monday morning. Not a

little vinegar. Not red wine vinegar.

The real vinegar that you clean your

[ __ ] with [laughter]

and douchebags and all that [ __ ]

Vinegar cleans you. That's what women

wash their monkey with vinegar because

it takes all the [ __ ] cat piss out of

all [laughter] the [ __ ] they got in

there.

So they said, "Drink vinegar every

Monday morning, bro." And it's like a

process. Like you would get high Friday

and you would hope to beat it by Sunday,

but you knew you weren't going to beat

it. And they're going to call you

Monday. And it was like your color is

yellow, right? Like if they say yellow,

you got to come in. So you wait till

1:00 and you're like, "All right." You

had to call in and all a sudden today,

Monday, Tuesday, the 9th of June, the

colors are purple. And you're like,

"Yellow. God damn. Now I got Now I got

to figure out I got 5 hours. The place

closes at 6:00. So I got to figure out

how to stop this cocaine from coming up.

So then we started taking STO.

>> What's Serto?

>> Serto is what you put in like jello.

It's that thing that makes the jello

jiggle or some [ __ ] like

>> what

[ __ ] sauo. No,

>> there [laughter] was there was no

internet these days. These are just

these are seal.

>> What is that? a brand of liquid fruit

pectin most commonly used in the kitchen

as a thickening agent [laughter] for

homemade jams and jellies. However, it's

also widely known as an internet folk

remedy people use an attempt to mask

drug drug metabolites in urine. It's a

folk remedy.

>> It's [ __ ] [ __ ]

>> Does it work?

>> No. That's why

>> let's find out if it works. Uh the myth.

Many online forums suggest mixing sauo

with a large sports drink like Gatorade

and drinking it a few hours before a

drug urine test. The theory claims the

fiber traps toxins in your digestive

tract. Reality, health professionals and

medical studies show no scientific

evidence that fruit pectin can reliably

clear drugs or toxins from your urine.

While fiber works in the gut, has no

effect on what your kidneys filter into

your urine. This episode is brought to

you by Arra. Every week there's some new

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But again, you get your advice from a

guy who's done 30 [ __ ] years. Then

you forget he's been doing 30 years

because he made mistakes, not because

he's a [ __ ] genius about Serto.

Exactly.

>> You know, and then we went from Serto

and then one day I was swimming.

>> Does anything work?

>> Huh?

>> Is anything work?

>> No. Cranberry juice.

>> What about that stuff that they used to

sell? Remember they used to sell stuff?

>> This is 90 [ __ ] This is 89. They

didn't sell nothing.

>> No, but do you remember there was some

stuff that you could buy this? Yeah. No.

No. You're saying you could buy piss

now. Now it's completely different.

>> You could buy piss.

>> Yeah, you could buy piss online. Just

get that uh whatever [laughter] that

dirty that dirty [ __ ] uh XPTt,

whatever. You go on and you could search

hidden [ __ ] all over the world.

>> Got to get a rubber dick and take that

piss. And

>> dog, I had a guy who made a rubber dick.

Normal could not start snorting coke.

So, he made a a contraption where he

filled up his son's piss in a hot water

bottle and did the same thing with the

douche. And he took the douche on the

bottom. Scots taped it to his dick and

he would piss and squeeze his chest.

>> Oh my god. That's

>> Then one day the thing blew up

[laughter]

>> and he was a bank robber. They sent to

jail for 30 [ __ ] years.

>> Want to hear the craziest steroid uh

evasion story that I ever heard from

piss. There was a guy who was fighting

and he knew he was going to get piss

test and he was just juiced to the tits.

So the legend is that they inserted

clean urine into his bladder through

injection.

So he injected clean urine into his

bladder with a needle.

Whether or not that's true, I have no

idea. But this is what everybody This is

like early days of the UFC, like when

they first started drug testing people.

>> Would you think

>> I don't even think it was in the UFC

that he did this. I think it was in

another organization. But I don't know

if it's true.

>> Think about what's going on the other

side of this.

>> Your addiction is that high.

>> Well, these guys when they're that

juiced up, when they're that juiced up,

they're not getting off of it. Cuz if

they get off, they'll have no muscle.

>> I get it. I understand. So, you

understand the extremes that people do.

>> Could you ever shoot [ __ ] fake piss?

>> Like, Joey, go piss in the [ __ ]

thing. I'm going to shoot Joey's piss.

>> A guy willing to do that and trusting

that guy was finding your bladder. He

could shoot piss into your liver. Like,

who who knows what this guy even

understands? levels that you do.

>> So, here I am, sir. It don't work.

[ __ ] nothing works. And one day I'm

in a pool. And I'm like, "Oh [ __ ] when

you piss in the pool,

>> the pool cleaner

cleaned all this and not the pool would

be green the next day."

>> So, this is your logic.

>> I went I [laughter] took the kids I took

one of those cubes first

>> where the crumbs

>> smashed it up

and then I put it on my outside of a

dick cuz I'm uncircumcised. So I would

pull the skin back and that would fall

into the [ __ ] piss. And then so he

told me once he go something happened

last time you [ __ ] up the machine or

something like that, right?

>> Women would insert condoms filled with

someone else's urine inside themselves.

He said some athletes would inject urine

into their bladders using a catheter. Oh

god, they did do that. So that's real.

[gasps]

So maybe that's how he did it. Maybe

they used a catheter and that's how they

put the fake.

>> But then there's the wizator.

>> Yeah, that was the rubber dick. That's

uh one of those.

>> Wasn't there some stuff that you could

buy that would you would get at like a

head shop and supposedly detox you?

>> This is 89.

>> But does that stuff work?

>> Nothing. When I was googling it, it says

nothing's real. That's

>> Nothing's real. Yeah. I always assumed

that it wasn't real. I was like, "You

selling this at a head shop?"

>> Stuff from the '9s. These are some of

the product.

>> But the killer was when I used Drano.

>> Oh, okay. So, this is all [ __ ]

>> Yeah. They just rob people.

>> They just rob people.

>> Fetish urine. Look at that. It says,

look at that's labels. Fetish urine.

What the [ __ ] does that mean?

>> It's probably a way to sell it because

you have to say what

>> you know not for human consumption or

something.

>> Oh, so that's your buying piss. Oh, so

that's an actual bag of piss on the

right. [laughter]

>> Oh, good lord.

>> This one calls it tinkle.

>> It's fetish urine. So if you just like

want someone to piss on you, but no

one's willing you. [snorts]

You've already told that story about the

guy with the gay club, the guy at the

bathtub that

>> everybody was pissing on him in the tub.

>> Yeah.

>> And then that party Shamer took me to in

that hotel next to the comedy store and

they were getting pissed on in there,

the women. And then I wake up sadly. I'm

feeling good about myself and I'm on

Twitter. I see Bonnie Blue. She had a

that chick is [ __ ] She got pissed on

had a baby shower in her ass. People

were pissing her [ __ ] in her ass and

I'm like, somebody's got to stop that

woman. She's the least of her problems.

>> Oh my god. A [ __ ] baby shower.

>> When I used a drain, although that was

the best because that destroyed the

machine. [laughter]

>> But But the truth of the matter is

>> when he said something happened last

time,

>> well, this is what happened. I put the

drain on my dick

>> and I walked up to the counter and I put

on the desk and he asked you questions.

How's it been?

And I'm looking at the thing and it's

starting to foam like this thing

[laughter]

and it's coming out OF THE BAG

DISHWASHER.

>> And I'm looking at this thing going,

"This [ __ ] better." And what he

did was he just picked it up and threw

it in the bag like when they pick it up

and test it.

>> Sometimes you leave the cop top off.

That was an old trick. You leave the top

off and then it spilled. Uh

>> oh no.

>> So that buys you one extra week. But the

time with the draano, it started like it

was like shaking at the thing like foam

was coming out of the [ __ ] sides and

I locked it up [laughter] good. That's

what happened. There was no oxygen. That

[ __ ] was like, you know, boom.

So [laughter] I put in the [ __ ]

thing. And he called me a few days

later. He's like, "Listen, I wrote up a

thing. I'm taking you to court because

you broke the machine. This cannot

continue.

>> This cannot continue.

>> This can't continue. [laughter] This

can't continue. This is like a [ __ ]

>> cat and mouse game. What did you PUT IN

YOUR BODY? WHAT HAPPENED? [laughter]

What the [ __ ] is going [snorts] on,

Jose?

>> So,

>> they say, "Hey, your machine sucks. Your

machine broke."

>> And then after nothing to do with me.

>> No. And then they put me on like this

hold. They were like, "We're not even

going to piss. You don't want the We're

done. We can't take this mental [ __ ]

[laughter]

>> So, this is when you in the probation

department. Now, they were going to

throw me back in community corrections

because they'll put you in for 90 days."

and all that. I met this [ __ ] guy

for 3 months. We spoke like nothing,