The biggest drug, it's not cocaine, it's

not heroin, is fame. Anything you want,

everything you want, it's a thing. And

if you can't handle this thing, the

consequences attached are severe. Do you

know you and are you okay with you? If

you are not, it'll break you. The

best-selling author and host

number one health and wellness podcast

with Jay Shetty

Hey everyone, welcome back to On

Purpose, the number one health podcast

in the world thanks to each and every

one of you that come back every week to

become happier, healthier, and more

healed. And I'm so grateful for this

community that we have here because I

get to sit down with some of the most

incredible minds in the world, people

that I find fascinating, not just

personally and professionally, but

because of the potential and the purpose

that they have. Today's guest is someone

who's been on my list to interview from

day one. So, it's a very special moment

for me. I'm very excited. I'm speaking

about someone, the one and only Kevin

Hart, Hollywood's box office powerhouse,

opening 11 films at number one at the

box office, and grossing more than 4.23

billion dollars in global revenue. Kevin

has also become a successful

entrepreneur. He's a chairman of

HartBeat, a global multimedia platform

company creating entertainment at the

intersection of comedy and culture with

a mission to keep the world laughing

together. I love that. Kevin is also the

founder of HartBeat Ventures. Kevin is a

New York Times best-selling author twice

over, and his first Audible Original,

The Decision, was nominated for an Audio

Award for best original audiobook. And I

I spent my last five hikes listening to

his new audiobook, Monsters and How to

Tame Them. And I have to tell you, and

I'm going to tell Kevin right now cuz

he's sitting in front of me,

dude, I have not been that into

something

for a long, long time, and I'll tell you

why.

I have not stopped talking about the

different monsters, the different

personalities to my wife, to my team, to

my colleagues. You've made it so

relevant and accessible to talk about

your flaws

in a way that I've never seen before.

So, thank you so much for being here,

man, and so grateful to be sitting with

you.

flowers are thrown out, I believe that

they should, uh, they should sometimes

be returned. And in this case, man, I'm

here for a reason. The work that you've

done, the success that you've had, is

groundbreaking. Uh, so major congrats

to you. I just want to say there's an

there's an equal level of appreciation

and excitement for the moment, man.

You've done some, uh, some

groundbreaking podcast. Uh, your guests,

to how you've gotten people to open up,

the conversations that you've had. More

importantly, you know, um, the lives

that you're saving by just being

transparent, authentic, and true to who

you are. I think it's it's dope as hell.

So, uh, it's an honor to sit across from

you. I'm excited about the conversation.

Um, and it's one that's been on my my

list, as well. So, I'm glad that, you

know, we finally got it worked out to

where we can make this happen. Yeah,

thank you, man. That's that's very kind,

and it's really beautiful hearing that

from you, honestly. So, let's dive in

before we keep going back and forth with

roses.

Let's go. Let's get it, uh, you know,

one of the things I want to start off,

and this is going to take us anywhere

and everywhere, is

how does it feel

when you're winning, and then you

discover you got monsters?

Because that's kind of the journey

you've been on, and I want to go back

and forth in this journey, but I want to

start there. Like, what does it feel

like when you're winning, you're

succeeding, but then you all of a sudden

go,

"I've still got monsters in me." You

know, when you say and and and use the

the word monsters just for for clarity,

so people can understand, of course,

we're talking about, um, the the

different levels to you, right? And, um,

within the levels that I've discovered

in myself, uh, of myself. You know, you

got your good versions and your bad

versions. And the bad versions I refer

to as monsters, but just because they're

bad doesn't mean they don't have good

quality. And when you're winning and

you're succeeding, there's this idea

that everything is right. There's this

idea that perfection is now presented

itself and life moving forward is going

to be just an easy road.

And it's not until you're in that

position where you expect perfection and

you think that that you start to see the

true problems and flaws really present

themselves. And, you know, my monsters

have been

masked and disguised in in various

different ways, but I've been able to to

pinpoint them throughout the years.

Because some of those monsters

grew, got stronger, developed. You

you're talking about the world of an

ego, the the the idea of of who you

think you are versus what you are or um

the idea of expectations and needs as to

what you feel you need and what you have

to have. That's a That's a monster

that's feeding that, right? That that

engine of well, now that I'm making

money, this is what I should have, this

is how I should look, this is how I'm

supposed to be. That's a monster that

you're feeding because ultimately you're

buying in to something that you're

creating. You're You're enhancing this

world of thought. And it's not till you

sit down and you take a breather and you

start to really kind of you start to

really figure out the true definition of

happiness for you. You start to really

understand

uh the adult that you have grown into

and the level of maturity that has now,

I guess you can say, have been banked

inside the the the the human that you

are. It's you're banking so much over

the years. And ultimately you're you're

shaping and molding yourself into this

this grounded, hopefully, this grounded

individual that you're proud to look at

in the mirror at the end of the day.

I had to start to I had to get to a

place to where I was looking in the

mirror and I was proud of what I was

looking at and I was okay with checking

myself. I was okay with um pointing out

my flaws. I was okay with knowing what I

do well and what I do wrong. And at the

end of the day, there's no consequence

to always improving. There's no

consequence to growing. You're in the

time now where uh people almost frown

upon uh the world of growth. I embrace

that. I embrace the world of correction.

So, the monsters in the world of how to

tame them came from me understanding the

different levels of monsters that have

presented themselves to me over the

years and me getting them to a point to

where I put them in a place where I can

control them. They're still there. They

can rear their heads, but I can say sit

down. That's not necessary. That's not

needed. And I can tell when one is

trying to take me back to a place of

old. But at the age 43, it's exciting to

know that I've grown from so much and

and, you know, the the world of want is

significantly different than what it

once was. It's really interesting you

use the analogy of like looking in the

mirror and being okay with yourself. And

when you said that, I was thinking,

yeah, when you look in the mirror,

there's no trophies. The reflection

doesn't show the trophies, the wins, the

money, the whatever else. It just shows

you you. And the fact that you've had

the courage to look at that, where do

you think, when you track back, I've

always been fascinated by

memories that we hold from our childhood

that have left an imprint that's really

strong in our lives, whether it be

positive, challenging, whatever it may

be. What's a What's a difficult memory

from childhood do you think that has

been the catalyst for so many things in

your life? Is there anything that you go

back to that you're like, "I can see how

that and I could turn that into a

positive?" I think the biggest memory

for me is the the one of being

complacent. You know, as a child, I I

wasn't really a a kid that embraced the

world of challenge. Right? I was very

complacent. I was okay with being a sub

par to low

average student, right? I was okay with

not trying. I was okay with not giving

my all. And I was kind of okay with

getting over, right? So, the biggest

memory that I have in my childhood is

like when I got to that early teen

years, that 12, that 13, that 14,

being sneaky

and thinking that you're constantly

one-upping someone was the the That's

what I was embracing at the highest

level.

Do your homework. I did it. Did you

really do your homework? I did it. And

you're taking my word for it and not

checking my homework. Oh, I didn't do

it, but you think I did. I got over. Uh

ultimately, you're you're slowly

cheating yourself over the course of

years and it's not until you get a

reality check as to why that work was

necessary that you realize

you're just not doing what you're

supposed to do with your life, right?

You're not You're not giving your all. I

had a lot of different examples of that.

I truly had a mom that made sure that I

had and I didn't take advantage or

embrace

um the real work that she put in until I

got to a older age of true

understanding. But, to be honest, I

really threw a lot of those things to

the side. The extracurricular

activities, the swim teams, the the

football teams, the basketball teams,

the track and field, the baseball. All

of these things as a kid, you don't

understand your parents are doing to try

to provide you with a world of

opportunity. They're trying to keep you

occupied. They're trying to embrace this

idea of hard work, effort, activity,

engage. They're doing all these things

or all of these things to their kids or

hopefully, right, for their kids to put

their kids in a position to just want,

right? Want the best, compete, study,

learn, be excited about their future.

That light bulb went off late.

Thankfully, when it went off, it went

off at the the right time and I was able

to identify a lot of stuff that I

couldn't then. And also thankfully that

a lot of the lessons that my mom

constantly embedded in me about you

don't start things that you're not going

to finish, you don't quit, apply your

all, do this or don't do it. You're not

cheating anybody but yourself. All of

these things that I heard over the

course of time, there was a moment when

I got older,

it it it it all hit at the same time.

But, the real memory for me now, looking

back, is I'm glad that I do see that,

that I am aware of that

because not being aware of that is the

hugest loss.

Thinking that I took full advantage,

thinking that I really applied or tried

myself, thinking that that was 100%

would be the real loss. So, one of my

best memories is knowing that

at one point I was a slacker. You know,

I was the guy

that wanted to look like he was doing

but never truly was. Unless it was

something that I loved and embraced and,

you know, that was basketball but the

chances of me making that were very

slim.

But, you know, that's to answer your

question, it's a ballpark of those

memories that I now look back on that I

appreciate but it also act as the fuel

for the hard work and the 100% that you

see that I put in everything I do today.

Yeah, that's such a great reframe around

what you saw as a bigger loss. I think

that's so powerful for you to sit here

and say

actually I'm really happy that I can see

that I wasn't putting my best foot

forward because that helps me be

grateful to my mom. It helps me

understand it from a different

perspective. And the one thing that came

to mind for me when I'm listening to you

say that is there's this quote that says

the day you realize your parents were

right your kids are telling you that

you're wrong.

Wow. And and that's always been one of

those statements that I think about that

in my own self. I thought my parents

were wrong my entire teenage life and I

think most teenagers do. And then all of

a sudden I hit my mid-20s and I'm like

oh wait a minute. My mom's been through

a lot. You know, my parents put in a lot

of sacrifice. And so I I love that you

brought that up. I mean one of the

reasons we pushed this show back was you

lost your father recently.

Yeah. Mhm. And when I heard the news

obviously, you know, my love and

condolences to your family and I was I

was

looking at what you were sharing and and

commenting about and there was this one

thing that you said that that really

stuck with me. Uh and you said that my

kids actually think I'm the coolest dad

on the planet.

I know why I am the way I am. My dad has

a lot to do with that. The mistakes that

my dad made, you know, the decisions to

do drugs, being in and out of jail, in

and out of your lives. I saw first hand

what not being present did because of

that. I now know what being present

means.

Mhm. I know what I can do. I know what

effect it can have on your child coming

up. But it sounded like obviously when

you lost your father recently, sounds

like you've you'd reconciled like you'd

built somewhat of a connection. You

know, me and my dad we

we weren't the closest.

Um but we weren't not close.

My dad at the end of the day I I'm going

to love my dad for simply being my dad.

Now, my dad's life you know, had

several different versions of of drastic

downs, right? A small amount of ups, but

a lot of downs.

I can easily sit here and

ridicule or judge my dad for the

mistakes that he made or for his past,

but that does nothing. It I don't I

don't like to focus on problem. I focus

on solution. Yes. So, with me and my dad

and our relationship, it was always one

of solution. Like, you can't go back and

fix the years that you weren't present.

There's There is nothing that we can do

about that time. We can have a

conversation about it. We can talk about

it. And then me and my dad talking, my

biggest thing was you don't have to

focus on what you can't change. The fact

that you're here now and that you made a

decision to uh get clean, to turn your

life around. It's never too late. My dad

was, you know, 50-plus at the time when

he said, "I'm going to go ahead and

figure it out and I'm a I'm a close that

door and I'm going to work on this other

door." This door over here was, like I

said, jail, drugs, um in and out of his

kids' life, uh to the point where, you

know, there was a there was a time when

we didn't know where my dad was.

And I I bumped into my dad on the train.

I tell the story. Um I bumped into my

dad on the public transportation in

Philadelphia. Like, not seeing him in

years, I randomly saw my dad.

And my dad was so embarrassed. He got

off the train and ran. But, it's like

that's that's where Wow. that world and

that relationship was. And

what I do very well,

I don't hold on to grudges or gripes.

It takes too much time. It takes too

much energy. Things will work themselves

out. They never not have. It always work

itself out. And me and my dad worked it

out, right? Like

it's about the grandkids. And our

relationship got better as he embraced

the opportunity to be a great grandpa.

And seeing him try to do that right

was his way of saying I wish I could

have done this

right for you.

I can't. Like I know what you're saying

without saying it. Sometimes you don't

you don't need words. Although some

people do need them,

sometimes your actions are a little

better. And my dad's actions

um in trying his best

to be an unbelievable grandfather

made our father-son relationship

that much better. And you know, there

was a lot of conflict between my brother

and my dad. And seeing that mend over

the time. And just saying, "Look, I'm

I'm not supposed to be here. Dad, look

at what your son

has done. Look at where I am.

Being that I can, I want to make sure

that you get to see some dope things in

life. Here, let's

do this and take that and live like this

and do." So, things worked themselves

out. His reward for giving his energy

to something positive and life-changing

was his son becoming successful and his

son saying,

"Dad, huh?

It's not expected. That wasn't the plan.

You got a great piece of light at the

end of that dark tunnel that you didn't

expect, that I didn't expect cuz I

didn't expect to be here.

So, everything kind of it works itself

out.

Yeah. And you know, in losing my dad is

when you look back

and you go, "Yo, he was all right."

Right? Like my my reflection, my

conversation,

my words when I speak on behalf of my

father,

they're so positive and dope because he

did good.

I'm all right. Mhm.

I came out okay.

Mom, Dad, you did good. Like how

Whatever Whatever you did to to put

whatever recipe in this pot, the food

came out all right.

I'm a good person. I got a good heart. I

treat people with respect.

Ultimately, I want the most that I can

possibly get out of life. I love to

love.

I'm a good dude.

Am I perfect? No.

I got some of them imperfections over

there. I got some of the ones from over

here, from my man dad. Okay. That's

life. Of course. I'm going to figure it

out, but I figure it out without the

want or need

for

problem. That's real, man. I mean,

listening to you say that, what I

appreciate so much is about how

you're

changing our perspective again, that

often we feel to heal what was broken

needs to be fixed. And actually, what

you've just said is seeing him try

with the grandkids,

that's not even the area that needed

fixing or was broken, but seeing that

starts to create some healing. That's

the best example that I can ask for.

Yeah. Because it's not about it's not

about us, right? Like, me and my ex-wife

got to a point of realization, you know,

after having a significant amount of ups

and downs, you know, after our divorce,

we got to a point where you realize it's

not about us.

Like, we we did it. We had our

opportunity, and we're now adults.

How we choose to live as adults,

well, that's a choice that we make, but

we're trying to make the best choices so

that they have a better life.

So, it's about them.

When I see somebody making the efforts

to make life for them better,

well, then we're on the same page.

Mhm. We have the same vision.

We have the same vision.

Yeah, yeah. It's not It's not about us

at this point. It's not about us as a

generation at this point. It's about us

trying our best to do things to create

change, to move ground, shift the gears

so that they

have a much better opportunity than what

we did. Yeah. That's that's the world of

the baton being passed correctly. And if

you understand that and you have that

mindset,

you approach your day-to-day

differently. Mhm. And

I do.

I do have that mindset and it's one

thing that I'm very thankful for.

And

through the things that should be

problems or were supposed to be

problems,

I've never held on to them long enough.

And by the way,

just bringing it back full circle,

that's a monster.

That grudge monster, that's a monster.

Mhm. That I'mma get you back. I'mma

wait, you just watch.

I'mma hold on to that and I'mma prove to

you or I'mma show you Mhm. or I'm not

talking to nobody over here. That's a

monster. Mhm. So, you can fuel that

monster or that monster doesn't have to

have an existence in me. It's really

really interesting hearing that

perspective again because, you know, one

of one of my favorite lessons that I've

learned is that often the thing that's

holding you back is something you're

holding on to. Yes. It's one of my

favorite lessons. The idea that

something you're that's holding you back

is you're holding on to it. So, whether

it's a grudge, like you're saying, the

grudge monster, or a feeling, or an

emotion, or an idea that you're not

allowing it to let go when it no longer

serves you.

And being able to walk away from that

requires real strength and courage. But,

one of the things that you said about

you and your partner, your ex-wife,

that I think's really powerful is that

when it's just about us,

whoever that may be,

you're either looking at each other or

you're looking past each other. And what

you just said is now we're looking in

the same direction when it's the kids.

And so, that switch, if you think about

any relationship in our life, when we

think it's just about us, when it's not

about anyone else, you're always going

to be

against each other. But, as soon as

there's a higher purpose, or there's a

commitment, or there's a value that

supersedes that.

An understanding. An understanding,

yeah.

An understanding that comes with the

world of communication and great

dialogue. I can, you know, in having

this conversation, I can point to so

many examples of how it's so hard to see

the good if you're only seeing the bad.

Like, there's so many people that

struggle with what their version of

success is, because they're looking at

someone else's. Mhm. There's so many

people that struggle with their world of

relationship, because they're judging

theirs based off of someone else's,

right? And when you're constantly in the

space of not realizing or noticing your

world, your reality, because you're

living in

what appears to be someone else's,

what you're seeing is never going to be

right.

Mhm. Mhm. It's never going to be right,

right? Like, if I'm if I'm looking at

everybody's relationship with their

father, and I'm going, I want that.

Yeah. Well, I'm not embracing the world

of good that came from my dad. I could

have went down the road that my dad did.

I could have easily been wrapped into

the same world of, you know, drugs,

gangs,

violence, stick up boys, right? Like,

the embracing the hood at the highest

level. Not that I don't, because I do.

That's where I'm from. But, I could have

I could have embraced it at a much

higher level, and followed in the

footsteps of my father, because that's

what he did. Um, but I was able to

realize the mistakes he made. I was able

to go, I don't want to go down that

street, cuz I see the consequences of

it. That's the choice that I made,

right? Some don't make that choice. By

the way, no disrespect to those that

haven't. It's to each his own. Um, you

do what you want based off of who you've

seen, or what you want to be true to.

Live your life. Mhm. Ultimately, we get

one. Live it for you. Live it to the

best to the best space and place that

you feel

you can win at.

That's my motto. I'm not here to tell

you right or wrong. I'm saying

I identify things differently and I make

decisions based off of

examples that I can look at as not bad,

but ones that if I didn't have, I'm

could have made that mistake. Yeah.

So, without a lesson that was

intentional, my dad's giving me lessons.

Yeah. Right? It's not intentional. My

dad never said, "I went to jail so you

didn't have to." He never said that.

But hey, man.

I can imagine. Seeing you in jail, dad.

wisdom, yeah. Yeah, that just made me

realize I don't want to go there.

Yeah. Hearing how you talk about it,

hearing how many times you went. Well, I

don't want to go there.

Seeing what drugs did to you and you

talking and telling the stories, what

you lost, what you had, what you don't.

Well, I don't want to do that.

Okay, you know, I'm going to embrace my

father. Mhm.

I'm going to embrace this imperfect

human being.

Because I'll be damned if he's not

if he's not positioning me

for

personal success in just understanding

what I should and shouldn't do. Mhm. And

it seems so logical, it seems like

common sense, but sometimes it's it's

not that easy for some.

It's not

that easy. Yeah, and sometimes what I'm

hearing is sometimes the greatest wisdom

is unsaid and unintentional. Right? Like

some sometimes the greatest wisdom is

not what someone said to you. And

sometimes the greatest wisdom is knowing

what not to do.

I think we think of it as like knowledge

or learning means someone's telling me

what to do and they told me the right

thing. Sometimes it's looking and

saying, "Well, I know what not to do

now." And what I'm fascinated doing, I

think you're going to give people a lot

of hope listening to you today

because when you say that you were

complacent growing up, and I consider

you today to probably be one of the

hardest working people in entertainment

from what I see and observe and when

I've watched your interviews or listen

to you,

you work super hard, you give it your

all, you're invested from a mission

purpose point of view.

But hey, wait a minute. This person says

I was complacent growing up and it's

never one moment, it's never one thing.

So, I don't even want to simplify it

with that kind of a question. What were

the shifts that needed to take place in

order for you to go from being

complacent to being one of the hardest

working people who's committed to

something? I'm big on just like

logic, right? And

there's this there's this like

moment that I had

where I I just kept saying why not? Like

why, right? And

uh Russell Westbrook is a good friend of

mine. I I tease him all the time because

the the one saying that he has that I I

wish I would have had or I wish I

I I got to first is why not, right? And

it's so genius.

It's so genius. It's so simple but yet

so profound. You don't just have to have

one job and working any job and whether

that job is a 9-5 or whether it's a, you

know,

half a day, full day, whatever it is,

you don't just have to do one thing. You

can do a lot of different things. But

there's this weird

this is weird mindset that

a lot of people have that you can only

do one thing.

And when I realized

I don't have to just do one thing. I can

do a lot of different things.

You can be good

at a lot of different things.

But you don't know that you're good at a

lot of different things unless you try

a lot of different things. And when I

looked around and I kind of just

realized how the world goes around, it's

all based off of creativity.

It's all based off of ideas. It's all

based off of

thought-provoking

then groundbreaking

opportunities. Mhm. But the simplest

things have come from an idea. Mhm. From

your chair to your table to your wheel

to your light bulb to your car to your

plane to your helicopter

to the idea of a hotel

from hotels going to a place of people

renting out houses and Airbnbs to

taxis to then people

driving their own cars and these are all

ideas. And

the groundbreaking

thought that I had in realizing all

these ideas

is that these ideas have the potential

to touch the sky if a person believes

that they can. Mhm.

If a person believes that they can

well, your world of idea changes.

Your reason for getting up, your reason

for putting your feet on the ground

every morning, it can change if you

believe

that the purpose that you now have

and that you're working towards

based off of an idea

is something that you can succeed in.

Mhm.

I grasped that understanding and I

attached it to everything that I tried

to do. I did not set out to be the

actor, the director, the writer, the

producer the CEO, the chairman, the

advise I did not set out to do any of

these things and I'm going to make it

very clear, I don't have the educational

background

for any of these things.

What I had was an idea to try. Mhm.

And after you get an idea to try, what I

had was

the patience to sit and listen.

Be a sponge.

Learn.

Figure it out.

Mhm.

And figuring it out

there was another side of

not being okay with the incomplete

version of figuring out the thing that I

didn't do.

Mhm.

Well, why did I go ask all these

questions

if I'm not going to try it now that I

know how?

Yeah. All right, well, let me let me try

it.

The only consequence is failure. Mhm.

By the way, not trying is failing.

Yeah, well said.

I want to make that very clear. Well

said, yeah. Not trying is failing. Mhm.

There's a lot of things that people

can't do

simply because you've never tried to do

it. And I'm not saying that you should

try everything. I'm not saying that

you're supposed to do everything. I'm

saying that for me

when someone says something and I go,

"No, I never did that."

Mhm.

I have to have a reason for why I've

never done it

and

a justification. If you ask me something

and I go, "No."

And you just say, "Why?" and I go,

"Mhm."

That's not good enough for me.

Yeah, yeah. I like to have a reason why.

And that's that's the foundation that I

stand on. That's how I built this

mindset, this

this level of energy to go ahead.

Mhm. Um rhyme and reason

within my why. Mhm.

Why not? Yeah. Well, it's the

Russ again.

I I It's I love you to death, my

brother. It's the one that got away from

me.

And you're a genius for saying it

because it's so simple. Yeah.

But yet, so profound.

Yeah.

So, everything that I'm doing or that

I'm attempting to do is because I

started so much and I'm just trying to

finish it.

Yeah. And

I like the fact that I'm 43

and I still got energy behind what it is

that I'm trying to do. Yeah. It sounds

like it's like

where you're going is not as important

as who you're growing into for that

direction.

my god. Like the person that you're

evolving into, the things you have to

learn, the things you have to be

surrounded by, and I think that's the

part that I get excited about. It's

like, yeah, like you said, whether you

get there, whatever there is, or not.

And it's not that just the journey and

the destination, because I think that's

the old cliche, but what what I'm really

hearing from you is

the person you grow into, the people you

surround yourself by in order to reach

this big goal.

That is so fulfilling.

And that pursuit is worthy. Right? The

pursuit is

the happiness.

It's everything.

Yeah.

J, I've said this before,

and and you'll hear so many people say

it that come from where I've come from,

the bottom, or what's considered to be

the bottom. We are not stereotypically

supposed to be in the rooms that we're

in.

And when we say that, there's a there's

a level of comfort, right? We're not

supposed to be in these rooms, and it's

kind of a cliche when you say it. When

you start to get in these rooms, you go,

"Wow. Why are we not supposed to be in

these rooms, right?"

it's It's so amazing when you get to the

other side, you see the other side,

and you look back, and you just look at

what you've grown from.

The conversations that I'm able to have,

the knowledge that I'm able to speak

with, and the understanding.

I understand, not because I'm a trained

machine,

and I spent

all of this time prepping for, and you

know, this is

this is what the the the idea of

education was all based off of. No.

The idea of discovery enhanced the

muscle that made me want for so much

more information in the space of life

that I chose to love.

So, in entertainment and business,

the level of failures that I have had,

that I'm still having, in some regard,

the world of fixing, cleaning up, making

better, understanding, growing uh

relationships, building.

It's there there is nothing more

intriguing to me

than being able to turn around and look

at Kevin at the age 22

and then looking at Kevin at the age 43.

This was not the plan. What What are you

talking

Every day is a new day and every day I

found another thing to be excited about.

Mhm. Every day I found another goal that

I decided to attach to my tree. Mhm. And

that tree got so many branches on it

right now. And so many people say,

"You're doing so much." Or

"Why do you do so much? How do you do so

much? What is the What's the end game?

What's the goal?"

The game is being in the game. Mhm.

Right? Like it's it's it's being in the

game.

Mhm.

The foundation that I'm trying my best

to create I hope and pray that with

these four kids that I have

that they look at it, that they see,

that they understand, we just got a shot

at something different. Mhm.

We got a shot at generational wealth. We

got a shot

at changing

the {quote} {unquote} trajectory within

our culture of opportunity. Mhm. We got

a shot to make this normal.

Once again, I'm looking past me. I'm

looking at I'm looking at the bigger

piece of the plan.

Mhm.

My kids got a bigger shot

at breaking ground and making this

normal because other kids that look like

us, that came from where we come from,

and that grew up how I grew up

will now have a different level of

association

for what can be achieved. If it's based

off of what I was able to do

Mhm. I'm igniting a different level of

thought, a different level of want, a

different level of motivation and

inspiration. Mhm. I'm inspiring at a

different level.

Absolutely.

But I get there and at the last second I

miss it and I fall,

I got there.

I got there and all that does is show

them that they can get there. They're

not going to miss. And they can go

further.

They can go further. They're not going

to miss.

They're equipped with too much of the

weapons. I've I've equipped you along

the way

with so much so you're prepared for all

this war that's coming up here.

You're not going to miss.

Dad might miss. Dad might fall.

You're not.

I love that. And the kids coming up from

under them,

they're not going to miss.

But you have to have this energy. Yeah.

It's bigger than me. What's that what's

that one mindset that you're trying to

pass on to that next generation, your

kids, the kids that come after that?

Because it sounds like

while you were honest in saying, "Look,

I didn't know I was going to be a

writer, director, entrepreneur, CEO. I

didn't have these I didn't have the

education as you said."

But it sounds like you have some you

have the mindset. That's very clear. We

know that. But there's some core skills

here that it sounds like you've invested

in very deeply and that you're trying to

pass on. If you could narrow them down

to one, two, or three for us, what would

you say are the skills that you like,

"This is how I want my kids to be able

to operate in this world and that's what

they need."

The best skill that I have developed is

the skill

of noticing and understanding

that

nothing is done

by one individual.

No level of success is reached

by one person, right? Like there

there there is a

team effort

that goes into

the smallest moment of success to the

largest. Yeah. And the person that wants

the rewards and the accolades for it all

and that doesn't embrace the world of

team and the foundation that stands

underneath whatever that thing is is a

person that won't last long.

The thing that I am most thankful for

and the thing that I that I'm glad that

it has

just improved over the course of time

is

the world of inclusion

with the we.

There's no I and and I hope that that's

what I'm passing down

to my kids is that, you know,

nothing is given, everything is earned.

And for things to be earned correctly,

you know, you you have to surround

yourself with people

that you can not only earn with

but that will support

and embrace

along the way, right? I have an amazing

team.

I hope that my team grows to be the

stars of tomorrow.

From execs to creatives to talent to

writers, producers, directors, everybody

that's underneath this umbrella of

HartBeat, of HartBeat Ventures, of the

brands and the brand partnerships, and

the space of entertainment in this

ecosystem within media that we've

created. We flourish because they

flourish.

And knowing that, identifying that and

trying my best to support that

that's the thing that I have had to work

on. And when we talk about our monsters

Jay, there was a there was a I monster.

Yeah. There was a I need to do it. Yeah.

I'm going to make the call.

Me first as well. I got to I'm about I'm

No.

Everybody move. Watch out. I'mma show

y'all how to do it.

I'mma take the meeting.

Hit. We're not listening to that. We're

going to do it my way. It was this heavy

thing of

me, I, I, I, I, I. Get out of way,

Kevin.

Get out the way and let other people be

great. They're only going to make this

thing greater. You're prohibiting that

by trying to stand in a moment of of

great so that people can look and point

at you. Mhm. Let other people do the

thing that they were brought here to do

and while they do it, align yourself

with them, embrace them, support them.

And as they grow, we grow. Yeah. That's

the thing that I flourish in the most,

which is why the first thing that I

asked you

Yeah. Think about it. The first thing

that I asked you when we were here and

we were setting up, I said, "How long

have you guys been together?"

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's just me asking cuz I want to see

what the world of your team is. And And

when you say what you say, well, there's

no coincidence

that the level of success comes with a

relationship that's evolved from day

Absolutely.

to said date. Yes. Yeah. It comes with

an understanding. It comes with a a

level of community. More importantly, a

want for success where we have it

together because we're embracing the

world. It's not just one. I love that

you went there, man. Like that There

could have been so many ways to answer

that question.

And the fact that you brought it back to

being bigger than you, I mean, that

mindset

I mean, that mindset is everything, but

it's so easily missed because we grow up

in a dog-eat-dog society. We grow up in

a you versus me. I feel like when I

speak to people in the entertainment

industry as well, for years, especially

if you were a minority or a person of

color, you were put against the only

other color

Absolutely. And so it's like there can

be only one person of color comedian.

There can only be one person of color

actor, right? Like the it's all divided

talked about this. I just I just

talked about this. It was Oh, wow. It's,

you know, Dave, Chris, myself, we're

very close.

Yeah. And

And I love seeing that. That makes me

happy, yeah. The reason why we're so

close is because, you know, there is no

competition. Mhm. We're not We're not

competing with one another. And, you

know, we all have different level of

success that makes sense for

for us, right? Like, one success has

nothing to do with the other. Yeah. And

the support, the love that we give each

other, that we embrace each other with,

it's it's all done with the

understanding that we can all exist at

the same time. Yeah. And the

conversation of

there can only be one is one that we've

created as a culture. Like, you know, we

really do pit our own against our own,

right? We've we've really have done it

throughout the time. And by the way,

there's nothing wrong with competition.

There's nothing wrong

Absolutely. with wanting to be the best.

There's nothing wrong with that

conversation. But it's it's a

conversation that can be had and should

be had without the malicious intent

behind it, right? Because um ultimately,

success is success, and that's what

you're that's what you're in the game

for. Yeah. To have some type of level of

success that checks the box for you.

Yeah.

And, you know, once again, if you get to

looking

looking across the street and you're

looking at what the others are doing

over there, well, you're missing what

you've done over here. And I I just it's

something that I think over the course

of time

has developed. Uh

it didn't start off like this. I

definitely was, once again, and being

transparent, I was a young comic that

was like, "Man, when am I going to get

my turn?

Yeah. I'm funny. I'm funnier than I need

to I don't understand. Oh my god, nobody

want Like, you do go through that. Mhm.

And rightfully so, there's frustration

in

not knowing or not understanding why my

opportunity hasn't or isn't. There's

frustration in that. But

there's also a sense of calm that comes

in confidence of knowing that you're

putting the work in for a reason and

that it will pay off. Yeah. And I had to

make that change. Yeah. I had to make

the change of saying, "I'm doing the

work. Am I showing up every day and am I

prepared? And if this opportunity does

come, am I ready for it? Cuz there's

nothing worse than it comes and I don't

have a set.

Mhm.

I don't have a tight 5 minutes. I don't

have a tight 10.

I didn't have a 25-minute set. Oh my

god, they wanted to clean material. I

didn't have no clean material. There's

nothing worse than not being ready.

Oh my god. So, you know what I'mma do?

I'mma do the work and make sure I'm

ready.

Let me go take these acting classes

before I even got an acting role.

Yeah.

I'm sitting in damn acting classes. I'm

spending the little bit of money I got

doing one-on-one sessions cuz I wasn't

comfortable being in the class. I had to

get the space of comfort. I don't have

any roles.

I didn't have any auditions yet.

I'm doing the work so that when I get

there, I don't have to go backwards and

do it. Yeah. I love that mindset. I

think that is so underrated of are you

even ready if the opportunity came

knocking? Are you even ready? And two

things that I took away from that, the

first was

something you said about you, Chris, and

Dave, which and I love hearing about

that friendship. It's so beautiful to

hear about that.

Uh I read something from Bob Iger where

he was talking about how at one point

Spielberg, George Lucas, and I think it

was Tarantino, they would show each

other their movies before it went

anywhere. So, they'd sit in this tiny

little theater or whatever. They'd show

each other their movies, give each other

feedback, and then they'd all launch

their movies. And of course, all of

those people are, you know, I mean,

icons.

And it's unbelievable because you think

they were so confident in who they were

and what their style was. I mean, a

Spielberg movie doesn't look like a

Lucas movie and a Lucas movie doesn't

look like a Tarantino movie. They were

so confident in who they were and what

they brought to the table that they

could even show best work. I I trust

your level

of understanding, opinion, and story in

the highest regard that even though we

don't share

the same love for

genre material, whatever you whatever

you want to call it, right? Like uh

whether it's sci-fi to drama to action.

Like these are all, like you said,

different people, but you know story,

you know character. I trust that you'll

be able to watch my project, tell me if

my characters are easy to track, and if

you care, and if you don't care, I also

trust that you'll be able to tell me why

you felt you didn't.

Mhm. I also feel that in the space of

solution, you're not going to throw

things at me that are not doable. You're

going to know the context of what I have

that I'm working with, what's left on

the cutting room floor, what I can

possibly do to do reshoots. Everything

that you're going to tell me is within

regards of having my best interests.

That's confidence, that's also a strong

relationship and a friendship that along

the journey of success, as we've all

gotten to the top of this mountain, we

understand that your stance on your

mountain has nothing to do with mine.

Dave Chappelle

has made me and Chris Rock feel stupid

at times

when it comes to our choice of material.

We have watched Dave in our earlier

stages of just working on our set, and

we would spend time at the Cellar, and

one would come, and we would all go, and

Dave would go up, and me and Chris had

just went up, and we're happy about our

material. We're giving each other notes,

and we watch Dave. There's been times

where we have looked at each other, and

we balled our papers up and said, "We

got to start over.

We got to start over."

Yeah. Not because of of jealousy or

envy, no, because we challenge each

other, and we we we spark and amp the

world of like we want the best for not

only each other, but for ourselves.

Yeah. And and you inspire me, and you

encourage me. And

I love the report that we have because

we do exactly the same thing. Yeah, I

think my hour's ready. I want you to

come see me, Chris. What you think?

Yeah. Kev, I like you, but I still think

you can. Kev, come see me. I'm doing an

hour and 40 right now.

Hour and 40? Yeah. Yeah, tell me what

you think. I'm probably going to trim 20

out of it. I like where it is. All

right, I'm coming.

Dave, what's up? Come to Ohio.

You're going to like what I'm working

on. I want your eyes. All right. Like

this that's a that's a strong

relationship and it's one that I

embrace.

Um and I celebrate it often, man. I

celebrate it often. I think it's very

important for people to see other

entertainers at this level just simply

celebrate each other's success. I I love

it, whether it's rappers, singers,

actors, actresses, comedians, writers,

directors, whoever. I love to see a room

where people are in it and they're

celebrating one another. Mhm.

We're all a part of a fraternity and,

you know, if we treat it right, that

fraternity will have an amazing stance

forever. Yeah. Right? Like you you don't

want to attach bad stories to it if we

don't have to.

Yeah. And I think that's the most

inspiring thing for the kids cuz when I

think about younger generations, if you

grew up watching your favorite people

and you knew they were all friends,

Mhm.

how does that change the game now? Cuz

if you're seeing your favorite people

fight each other and battle it out for

the crown, what are you going to do with

the person sitting right next to you at

school? And I think that's I saw that so

much growing up where I've always wanted

to connect with people regardless of

what we do in this space, but you saw so

many people who are coming at it from

the perspective of let's see who does

better. Let's see who does more. And

again, I love what you said,

competition's not a bad thing. Let's not

give it a bad name. But the idea that

we've got to be able to hold two truths.

We can compete and still be friends.

be friends.

And and I think people

Yeah, you have to choose, but you don't.

be friends. You know, there was a time

um

where the

the USA men's swim team, the Olympic

team, this team was just so elite. And

this is in Phelps' like Yeah. Phelps was

Phelps,

a human fish,

right?

Yeah.

you look at Lochte, you look at the

other men that were competing on that

team,

and you looked at the world of

competition between them

themselves,

those practices were more than just

practices.

The The world of training before the

Olympics and the battles that took place

in those pools where they got ready and

they were by each other's side every

single day. When I tell you that

atmosphere

is one that nobody else can understand

except the ones that are competing to be

great. By the way, at the end of every

practice, they would get out and shake

each other's hands. Without me being

there, I'm willing to bet and say,

"Good, well, you pushed me today. You

kicked my ass today. Hey, tomorrow, man,

I'm going to see if I can lower my time.

I'm not happy with my 200. I'll go, I'll

do it with you. I'll push you. Hey, my

backstroke is whatever. Hey, you know

what? Today, on those 50s we did the

reps, you seemed like you got stronger

along the way. Well, I saw you next to

me." That motivation That motivation

that you're pulling

from being alongside of somebody that's

{quote} {unquote} the best or or the

{quote} {unquote} greatest, you're using

that as fuel.

That's not bad. But not in one energy

that you ever see them have any type of

report where it looked as if there was

animosity or anger towards one success.

The happiest people for Michael Phelps

were the people on his team. The

happiest people were the people that

that got the silver, that were on his

team.

Yeah. That to me, that's the mold in the

making of real champions, right?

Yeah. That's the mold in the making.

Like if if if you're in it and you have

said, "This is what I'm destined to do

and I'm going to give my all and every

day I show up with 100% regardless of

the outcome, I'm showing up with 100%.

That day going to come.

Whenever it comes,

I'm going to be ready. It's going to

come.

I'm going to get my just due and my

fulfilling my fulfilling like need and

energy and want for knowing that I have

just delivered for myself.

That's what I compete with.

That's what I look at the mirror.

Sometimes I let myself down because the

thing that I'm trying to do, I should

know I can't redo.

Sometimes I'm chasing the thing

that can't be redone again. Sometimes

the lightning in the bottle strikes

once. You're not going to get that

again. There's times where I'm so hard

on myself

that I miss the moments of success that

I should realize that I'm having.

I'm chasing this thing.

There's a time where I was doing two

shows in arenas a night.

Four shows in a city in arenas.

As a comedian.

Go back on tour to next one. I only do

two shows. Oh my god, I'm falling off.

What's happening?

No. Sold out six, seven shows in Madison

Square Garden. What?

I feel bad cuz I didn't do it again.

That ain't going to happen again. That

was lightning in the bottle. You got to

get to a place of understanding and

realization. But once again, it's the

monsters, man.

Yeah, it's the monsters. It's It's the

monsters. Yeah, you talk about this in

the audiobook and I loved it. It was all

about the addiction to number one.

Yes.

This this idea and you'll love this.

There was a study that I saw that said,

because you brought up the Olympics, it

sparked my brain.

There's a study that I saw that said

people who win bronze are happier than

people who win silver.

Because the people who came second were

this close to first.

god, yeah. But the person who came

third, they they were happy. They were

like, we weren't going to get first. But

we got in. We we on the podium. And it's

that podium syndrome of like at least we

got on, but the second, the person in

silver,

they are mad at themselves

Yeah. because they didn't get number

one.

Yeah. And so that addiction to number

one is so strong.

It's a bigger addiction when there's

multiple versions of it. I'm guilty

of the multiple like, okay, I need it.

Got a movie coming out.

Movie going to the box office, I need

it. I need number one. I don't get

number one, I'm a fail. Like it failed.

You flopped.

I don't get number one, it was flopped.

It's flopped. I got to get number one.

Yeah, it's one or a flop. It's like

there's no in between. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's one or a flop. Like I've always got

number one. It's got to be number one.

Yeah.

And what happens is you're you're so

you're so unrealistic in expectations,

and you're missing real success. Mhm.

Now, I've been fortunate and blessed

enough to have a A lot of number ones. a

ton of them.

But I got to a place where the the win

was attached to the project.

The win was attached to

me finishing a movie and being happy

about the movie that I did.

Union workers are happy and a director

coming out with the finished piece of

the product going, you're going to like

this, and we see it and we actually like

it, and then we screen it for fans, and

fans go, we loved That's the win. Yeah.

That's the win. This this other thing

that I'm trying to control, can't stop.

You can't control that.

And and if you keep on going in the

direction that you're going in,

if and when that thing changes, you're

going to be so hurt

that the world of recovery might not be

easy for you. Your logic and what you're

now deeming as like reality for you Mhm.

is not reality. If you don't grasp the

the real concept of what it should be

now, it doesn't mean that you're saying

that you are ready to fail. It's saying,

be prepared

for the world of real to present itself

at any point in time, don't get caught

up in the world of fake. And me acting

as if I control these numbers, as if I

can navigate and direct and and and make

it happen when and how I want all the

time,

I'm setting myself up. So, you know what

I'm going to do? I'm going to check

myself now. Yeah. Let me balance it out

now.

Huge. What are you doing?

I love what I do.

All right. Well, then let's be happy in

what we do. I talked to Letterman on

uh my my comedy podcast, right? Comedy

Gold Minds.

And Letterman said he was so dark at one

point

because all he did was show up and he

looked at the numbers between him and

the other shows every day.

that's painful.

Every day.

numbers, yeah.

He said, "Every day I got there and I

and I looked at it and and I would My

team, you are not working hard enough."

And I was so hard He said, "I was so

hard on people." And when you hear him

talk, love David.

By the way, I don't know the Letterman

of old that some people ran into. I know

the Letterman of now,

and he's so transparent. The information

and how he talks and what he's overcome.

His stories were just

it was so good to hear.

Because when you hear people that are

openly telling you you can't do this.

Mhm. You can't operate like this

cuz it eats away at you. It eats away.

It made me realize I did go through a

piece of that. Mhm. I just was able to

catch mine early. And in the worry of

like we might fail,

we risk being open to being broken,

right? Like that's the risk. Like you

don't want to go down, but you don't

realize that if you're not prepared for

that down, the down's going to be far

worse.

to be far worse, man.

Yeah. We have had a live example of a

lot of those downs.

Mhm.

Right? Like with in real time, we're

watching

I call it the Truman Show. Mhm. Uh and

for everybody listening to your podcast,

if you're not familiar with The Truman

Show, is a is a Jim Carrey movie, but

basically, you know, people's lives it's

the movie, right? We're watching we're

watching real life movies every single

day. Yeah. And you're watching people

make mistakes, recover from mistakes,

not recover from mistakes, make rights

instead of lefts, lefts instead of

rights, and seeing that, we choose to

ignore it as if it's not real life.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We choose to ignore

it.

like it's TV. And the biggest drug,

the biggest drug, it's not cocaine, it's

not heroin, it's not uh Molly or

opioids, and the biggest drug

is fame. And now it's more accessible in

different doses.

It's the It's the biggest drug. And the

reason why it's the biggest drug because

it's a drug that makes you feel like you

are powerful,

and like everywhere you go,

anything you want, everything you want.

It's It's a thing. And if you can't

handle this thing, the consequences

attached Yeah. to when that thing is

removed are severe. Nobody prepares you

for the world of fame. Mhm. There is no

handbook. There is no outline. There is

no guide by guide step one to step 10.

There's nothing.

You get it,

and yesterday you weren't, and today you

are. Mhm.

And tomorrow you're not. Oh, well, no,

we're done. People get shell-shocked.

Mhm.

That to me

has always been

the point of no return. Yeah. At the end

of the day, this can wear off if and

when

however sees or decides, and

if

that were to happen, well, what am I?

Where am I?

It's all going to It's all going to come

back to are you happy with who you are

and what you did? Are you at a point

where you are okay?

Do you know you and are you okay with

you? If you are not, it'll break you.

Your energy is incredible and and just

the depth. What I love about this and

this was my vision with this show and

you're helping me achieve that which I'm

very grateful for is I don't think and I

love that you've been doing this more

and more with the Audible with

heart-to-heart. Like we're getting to

see your depth. We're getting to see the

mind behind you. Again, as we said

earlier, we like to limit people. We

like to limit people into like you just

be a comedian or you just be a race car

driver or you just be a actor and it's

like we're starting to realize that like

you said, you're not just watching

someone's life on TV. There's a human

here. There's There's a story here and

we're getting that with you.

Do you think it was Was this something

Was this an epiphany that you had before

the accident or was it that this really

Because when you're Audible, when you

talk about like how when it's just

silent, you figure out what really

matters. Like when I heard that,

I was just thinking like

our near-death experiences. You were

told when you came out of it, you should

be dead and you're like, "Well, I don't

remember anything." Does that feel like

that was a moment that there is a

massive awakening or were you already

kind of working with some of this?

No, I I had a I was always a transparent

and authentic person, but

you definitely change, right? You You

definitely change and by the way, still

changing. I'm not sitting in front of

you as a

unflawed man. Like I I am my dad's child

and my I'm my mother's child as well.

There's nothing more humbling

than a quiet room. There's nothing more

humbling

than the realization

of

what

is really like necessary. Mhm.

What you take for granted and what we

don't think twice about is not until

that's compromised that the true

appreciation for life, I feel like, can

sometimes be had. I don't want to speak

for everybody because I think there are

some people that truly do

get it and that truly do thank whatever

their space

um or version of a higher power is daily

for life and for what they do. You know,

I believe in God, so I'm I'm not as

spiritual as some may be, but I'm very

thankful for the life that God has

allowed me to to live and the

opportunities that I've been able to

embark upon. But I got a lot more

appreciation

after

life was almost gone. Mhm. Right? Like,

do you really appreciate your toes? Mhm.

Do you really appreciate your fingers?

Like, do you really think about your

movement,

your joints, vision, smell? Do you

really think about how fortunate

and and lucky you are? It's the only

time where I get a little

where I slow up. Mhm. Right? And when

when I'm slowing up it's because the

reality of that

was significant. I really almost died.

My kids and all that like what? As I'm

moving so fast, I didn't even have

everything

dialed up for if said thing were to

happen, what what

Oh, cuz I'm I'm out here

I'm just roaming. I'm out here aimlessly

living and I'm moving so fast, I've yet

to grasp

the true concept and reality Mhm. of

responsibility.

Immediately,

let me get my responsibilities in order.

Because if that had have been Mhm.

it would have been a lot of people with

their hands up as to what

how, when. Fame is great, the lights are

great. Kev Hart, Kev Hart, Kev Hart,

number one, number one, number one.

I was in that room

with my god damn wife, my brother, my

kids. You look around,

you got a lot of friends, you got a lot

of people that love you, but then you

start to Well, what really matters?

That's when my mindset started to

change.

That's when

you go, "Okay,

my approach to just me and working on

me,

it needs to be different."

I've contradicted myself a lot since,

you know,

yeah, I want to slow down. I'm going to

make sure I give my family more time. I

have. That doesn't mean that it can't be

more. Mhm.

The day-to-day battle of am I giving

enough? Am I

Guys, you know how much dad loves you.

I'm here. I'm like, you know, always

working to make sure I do more, but is

it enough? Mhm.

Am I workaholic? Okay, but that's not a

bad thing cuz I'm You love to work. Yes,

you do. That's a passion. You get You

got something that you go after every

day. That is a driving source for me.

I'm not in the business of letting that

go, but

boy, you better put your hands on these

people and make sure Mhm.

You better make sure that you are giving

the time

that you said you would when you were in

that time of solace. Okay. All right. I

constantly talk to myself. I have these

conversations all the time. That's the

beauty of taking my little runs.

The beauty of working out, being in the

gym, you talk to yourself.

Mhm. You better talk to yourself.

You better have conversations, figure

out the yin and yang of good and bad.

For me,

it was about personal evolvement after

that accident. Mhm. And still trying,

man. It's the biggest battle. It's the

big The biggest battle is just doing

right all the time. Mhm. That's a

battle. And knowing you're going to get

it wrong.

That's a battle, man. When I go to a

restaurant

and they bring out a plate, the waiter

say it all the time, "Don't touch that

plate. The plate hot." You know what I

do, Jay?

You know what I say after I touch it?

"It wasn't that hot."

They told me not to touch the plate.

He said it's hot.

But I still got to I still got to go and

touch the plate anyway. It's a battle.

So, being okay with understanding that

I'm going to lose and win in this

battle,

and this battle is not over

until the day I'm in the ground.

Cuz you're not going to get it right.

You're not going to get it right.

And there's people with this idea

and this mindset and mentality,

they're going to get it right and

everything's going to be perfect. It's

not. Don't play that perfect game

because all you will do is get let down

because perfection does not exist. I do

firmly stand on that and believe that.

It doesn't exist, man. You should try

your hardest

to get things right in moments where you

got them wrong, figure out how to never

get them wrong again. That's the That's

the world of compromise. That's the

world of growth.

That's the world of evolvement.

I mean, I got a teenage daughter. Nobody

prepared me for the world of,

you know, like you talking about got to

get it right.

Are we talking enough? Am I loving

enough?

Am I present? Am I listening?

Am I just delegating? Am I parenting? Am

I your friend? Am I There's so much.

Teenage son, little ones. I mean, my

wife. It's a constant battle

of energy. And as a guy who

is an output, right?

And I don't complain about that output,

but those that I'm taking in from,

I just got to I got to make sure that

I'm receiving that

and that I'm not moving too fast.

I'm not making the most of those moments

and that's this level of consciousness I

did not have

before the accident.

I was I was a thousand miles per hour

and not that I'm not still moving fast

but I look at my peripheral. Yeah. I'm

looking at my rearview mirrors.

I'm slowing down.

I'm stopping.

I'm sleeping.

You know what I mean? Like I'm I'm there

is a difference. I know there's a

difference. But it's still a battle.

Yeah, it's still a battle.

It's still a battle. Yeah. I love that

you describe it like a battle because

what you just described is exactly the

practice we have to have every day,

which is you have to revisit

how do I get it right today? There isn't

a day where now you just get it right

from now till the end of time. It's

revisiting that every day saying, "I'm

recommitting to this. I'm going to be a

good dad today." Right? You don't get to

make a decision to be a good dad in 10

years. You have to do today and then you

do tomorrow and and I think that

what's what's really interesting, the

reason why I asked that question, too,

was because I think memory is such an

interesting thing. Sometimes when

something big happens to us

we feel the shift that this is going to

change how I think and then all of a

sudden when things go back to normality,

it can sometimes feel as if it never

happened. But it sounds like for you,

you've really used it as an anchor.

Well, I did. Yeah, you've used it. It's

Even when you say like you say like I'm

I'm going to be a good dad today, right?

You can only try your best

best, yeah. to do that.

Mhm. Ultimately, just because you say

you're a good dad don't make you a good

dad.

No, of course not. Just because you say

you're a good boss don't make you a good

boss. I can say it every day. I can

think I'm doing it. But if on the

opposite side, if I'm viewed differently

Mhm. Well, that would be because I'm

doing something wrong and I'm not aware.

Mhm. What I now do is make sure that I'm

looking at things through both lenses.

Mhm. Not a one-sided POV. I love that.

It's not It's not just my perception of

what I'm doing and how everybody else

should see it. Yeah. And doing that the

the way that I try my best to back up

the the hope of me being perceived as

that is by putting the true work in to

be that.

Yeah. Yeah. Making sure that I'm really

engaged with the other people. Making

sure there's a rapport, that there's

energy. Um and, you know, the wife and

kids, the same thing. Making sure that

there's a rapport, that there's, you

know, I'm asking the questions and I'm

getting the answers, but I'm I'm asking

for things so I can get the proper

feedback so that if I do need to adjust

or if I do need to fix, at least I'm

aware. Yeah. Um operating um with the

assumption

that you are or that you're doing. It

can be a a crutch. Like it can be It can

be a bad thing. If I'm operating with

the assumption because one day you'll

wake up and they'll go, "You know, I

never liked when

or what acted as a problem for me for

all these years was when you"

And then you just go, "I never knew. You

never said nothing." Yeah. And sometimes

people don't want to say anything.

Sometimes people don't know how to say

anything. So, the world of dialogue,

communication, and just openness is what

I think I've gotten better at Yeah. over

the time. But once again,

what It's a It's a constant space

of

improvement.

Yeah. You're constantly trying to

improve. Yeah. And that's And that's

That is the only way it can be. There is

no other alternative. And there's a

beautiful conversation between the

Buddha and a student that I love. And

the student approaches the Buddha and

says, "What's the difference between I

like you and I love you?"

And the Buddha says, "When you like a

flower, you simply pluck it. But when

you love a flower, you water it every

day.

And I'm like, that to me is what you're

describing. That when I love my kids,

I have to be trying every day to

understand from their point of view. The

flower's going to show you whether

you're watering it or not. It's going to

die, it's going to wilt, it's going to

not bloom or whatever it may be. And I

feel like you've got to be so in tune

with yourself and someone else in order

to sense that. But I I know what you're

saying is so true. And I really do

recommend this to anyone who's a big fan

of Kevin's as I am,

please do go listen to the audiobook

because

Monsters and How to Tame Them, I mean,

I've never heard someone be as open and