But the reason that you are stuck in

life is because you cannot bring

yourself to be ordinary. Their life is

built on this fantasy. They can

accomplish amazing things. And if you're

a puerist, you know this. Why do these

people exist? Because we're a society of

Puera Eterni. We're a whole generation

of people who are living in our parents'

basement. And this is the core of the

psychological problem. This is what Yung

really discovered is that they cannot

make a commitment. They cannot make a

sacrifice. They cannot pay a cost

without a guarantee of a gain. And if

you cannot do that, you will never move

forward in life. Today we are going to

do a lecture on an incredibly

fascinating concept called puer eternus.

Okay. So this was something that Carl

Jung originally developed

and puer means boy like a a male child

or puella. So I know that I I looked at

the title of the stream today and it was

like why some men never grow up. So

actually is a lecture about men and

women but the concept is it's like

colloquially known as pueris but it can

be puella eternis too. Puella means girl

like a female child and eternis means

eternal. So over a hundred years ago,

Carl Jung described this archetype of

someone who remains an eternal child.

And in my like work as a as a clinician

and psychiatrist, my route to this has

been kind of interesting and I just want

to share that with y'all. So I started

out in when I was training in residency.

So these are people with a lot of like

potential do pretty well in like middle

school, high school. Something happens

around the time that they go to

university. Maybe they get a job, maybe

they don't get a job. And so they sort

of have this trajectory in life that

just kind of like

fails to launch in the way that they

should. And then I sort of had this

amazing mentor who, you know, one time

in supervision was kind of telling me

like she's the one that shared the

statement to with me that like gifted

kids are special needs kids. And I kind

of got interested in that. I was one of

these kids that was gifted growing up

and then like I really struggled a lot

in my 20s and then kind of got my [ __ ]

together in my 30s. So I kind of started

working with failure to launch people.

Then I sort of got into gifted kids. And

then once I started streaming on Twitch

and and actually before I started

streaming on Twitch, I started working

with a lot of gamers, right? So these

were people who had a lot of potential,

had a lot of IQ, but for some reason

they failed to launch, were gifted,

whatever. And so even to this day, our

most successful upload on our YouTube

channel is about how gifted kids are

special needs. I've uh messaged my

mentor like 15 times over the last few

years and asked her like, "Hey, do you

want credit for this because this is

like your idea and you taught me this."

And she's like, "No, you don't have to

ever mention my name or anything like

that." She's just like, she's happy to,

you know, not be credited. And then

something interesting happened. I

stumbled into Yungian psychology. Yung

described this concept of puera turnus,

which is the eternal child. And as I

read this concept, I realized, holy

crap, this is gifted kids. This is G

like a generation of people who are

stuck in gaming and don't live up to

their potential. This is failure to

launch. So he sort of described this

concept and the reason that I'm talking

about it as Puerto Ris using Jung's

architecture is because Jung did

something that I had never seen anyone

done do before which is he got to the

root of all of these problems. The

psychological the fundamental

psychological block that prevents

certain types of people from becoming

what they should be. And so I I I think

Jung was really good at describing this

internal like psychological process. And

then one of his colleagues, Marie Louise

von Frron, I don't know how to pronounce

that, wrote a whole book about it. We're

going to be showing y'all passages of

the book. And like it it's like eerie

when I was reading her book. It was like

eerie. This book was written like I

think a hund over a hundred years ago.

But how it perfectly describes all of

these things. And the other thing that

was really is really fascinating is that

this archetype of someone who stays

stuck in adolescence, right? Never grows

up is made so much worse because their

psychological vulnerabilities are being

predated like like technology is like

the critical hit for this psychological

vulnerability. So I think there's a

reason why we're seeing a developmental

stunting and I think Jung is like the

best at sort of capturing what's at the

essence of that, right? So if we look at

why gifted kids are special needs,

there's like a thousand reasons. Failure

to launch has a thousand reasons. We

have all these like papers on psychology

and neuroscience is this part of your

brain, dopamine this and frontal

executive dysfunction that and all this

like [ __ ] Like there's like a million

reasons, right? But Yung is like, "No,

this is it." And that's what I want to

share with y'all today. So the first

thing that we're going to do is describe

the characteristics of the pueris. So

the pueris is first of all charming.

Okay. So often times these people are

they're kind of like childlike in a fun

sort of way, right? So they're like they

they tend to be actually pretty

charismatic. I think nowadays we don't

really think of it as charisma because

we have social anxiety. But I see a lot

of these people being like the life of

the group that they're in. They tend to

be the funny person in class. They tend

to be like, you know, really like

friendly on Discord. They tend to be

like they play they don't necessarily

play bards, but like I imagine they're

kind of playing bards at a D and D

table. So they're actually like quite

charming and charismatic. The other

thing is that they they're incredibly

intelligent, quickwitted, kind of

likable, right? So when people meet them

for the first time, assuming the social

anxiety gets out of the way, often times

people are initially impressed by the

puerist, they're like, "Wow, like this

person's like this person's really

solid. Like they're really great." And

so the other characteristic of a

puerist, which we've kind of already

talked about, is that they have a lot of

potential. So when people meet them,

they're like, "Wow, this kid is so

smart. This kid is kind of going

places." Um, oftentimes they'll have

bursts of creative energy, but then the

cycle that they sort of fall into is

that even though they're like they kind

of come off as strong, they open like,

you know, as soon as the race starts and

they start running, they like do really

well, inevitably they falter. So like

their ability to follow through, their

ability to live up to expectations,

their ability to deliver on expectations

falls absolutely flat. Okay. Hey y'all.

If all this Peru Turner stuff is

resonating with you, definitely check

out our resources page. This is a new

thing that we're doing for really

important topics. We're trying to build

additional resources that are all free

things like additional info, additional

videos, kind of like a track of what to

do next. So check out the link in the

description below. And so this is what

the pueris is. And I want to share with

y'all what this kind of looks like. So

they generally do not like sports which

require patience and long training. For

the puera tournis in the negative sense

of the word is usually very impatient by

disposition. So that such ports sports

do not appeal to them. Okay. So here's

another feature like they do not like

conventional situations. They ask deep

questions and go straight for truth. So

on the contrary he lives in a continual

sleepy haze. And that too is a typical

adolescent characteristic. the sleepy,

undisiplined, long-legged youth who

merely hangs around his mind wandering

indiscriminately so that sometimes one

feels inclined to pour a bucket of cold

water over his head. The sleepy days is

only an outer aspect. However, if you

can penetrate it, you will find a lively

fantasy life is being cherished within.

So, this is what happens when you meet a

puer. Okay? So, they're like, first of

all, they hate small talk. They're all

about big ideas. They're all about grand

things, right? So like, I want to be

big. I want to think deep. I want to

understand quantum mechanics. Like I

don't want to do this conventional life

stuff. They tend to actually come across

as brilliant or impressive. When you

first meet them, but they evoke a

reaction in other people and often times

in themselves of like wanting to pour a

bucket over your head. You get

frustrated with them so easily, right?

because they're like they're big talkers

but they just don't show up in the way

that you know you actually need to to uh

live up to things in life. So how does

someone kind of get in this this

situation and this is where I want to

talk for a second about this cherished

fantasy life. So the basic problem with

a pueris is they have big dreams, right?

They have big ideas. They're incredibly

intelligent. They've got large goals.

But anytime they start to exist in life

or try to live life, they are inevitably

severely disappointed. So anytime they

imagine an experience like the

experience is great, but the reality of

the experience is like drab and

disappointing in comparison. So they may

have ideas to create like a fantasy

novel or like I'm going to write a TV

show or I'm going to create a video

game. I want to become a programmer. I

have this great vision. And the moment

that they start to engage in life and

actually try to do it, the version that

they encounter in real life is like a a

shadow of it. And so then they sort of

like they they have this vision in their

head, but the real life just doesn't

line up. And Marie Louise von France

even talks about this in terms of

relationships. Okay. So let's take a

look at this. There is another typical

form of this same disturbance. In this

case, the image of the mother, the image

of the perfect w woman who will give

everything to a man and who is without

any shortcomings is sought in every

woman. He is looking for a mother

goddess. So that each time he is

fascinated by a woman, he has later to

discover that she is an ordinary human

being. Once he has been intimate with

her, the whole fascination vanishes and

he turns away disappointed only to

project the new the image a new onto one

woman after another. Okay. So this is

another kind of feature of this I think

not another this encapsulates like the

existence of a pueris. They have sort of

this idea of like a perfect version of

things, right? They don't they don't

actually have a whole lot of experience,

but they're caught up with like, okay,

like like this is in my mind there's

like a perfect woman out there for me.

And the moment that they start to engage

with reality, reality is inevitably

disappointing. And so often times what

happens is like they'll and this happens

in relationships. I think nowadays we

see like other kind of permutations of

this. So I think like pornography and

incelism is also connected to puera

turnis. So if you look at a lot of like

incel forums or like red pill forums or

things like that, they have this like

vision

of the perfect woman, someone who's hot,

someone who's subservient, someone who's

there for me, like not a real human

being. They have a fantasy archetype of

something. And then as they go looking

for that fantasy archetype, they fail to

find it over and over and over again.

And so here's what the cycle of puera

turnus actually looks like. Okay, it's

so so this is where like you know people

are saying they put women on a pedestal.

I think it so this is why I kind of

bring it up. I actually think that that

is not correct.

This is this is exactly what I think is

important. So it is not that they put

women on a pedestal. They put life on a

pedestal. This is not just about women.

This is I think the mistake and this is

where I think why why we sort of fail to

fix this problem because it's about way

more than women. They put life on a

pedestal. So this is what the cycle kind

of looks like. Okay. So I'm a person and

I have a vision of life and then what

happens is I engage in life and then

inevitably it's boring,

grueling,

disappointing. Okay. So, and over here

you're filled with excitement

potential, but the reality of it never

really like lines up and then you end up

feeling dejected,

loss of motivation. Often times what'll

happen here is that they will encounter

some kind of obstacle. So, as you engage

with it, there's some sort of obstacle

that comes up. And so, like you can um

you can work really hard, but like then

something comes up. If a man pulls out

of this youthful neurosis, then it is

through work. There are however some

misunderstandings in this connection.

For the puerist can work, as can all

primitives or people with a weak ego

complex when fascinated or in a state of

great enthusiasm. Then he can work 24

hours at a stretch or even longer until

he breaks down. But what he cannot do is

to work on a dreary rainy morning when

work is boring and one has to kick

oneself into it. That is the one thing

that puernis cannot manage and will use

any kind of excuse to avoid. So they're

capable of brilliance. They're capable

of hard work. They're capable of sweat

and toil. But the moment that things

become difficult or and this is what's

really interesting, the moment that

things become boring, the moment that

things become drab, then they lose their

ability to work. And here's the other

really wild thing. They can even do

incredible things. Okay? They generally

do not like sports which require

patience and long training. For the

puera tournis in the negative sense of

the word is usually a very impatient

disposition so that such sports do not

appeal to them. I know a young man, a

classical example of Puera Turnis, who

did a tremendous amount of

mountaineering, but so much hated, so

much hated carrying a rucks sack, that

he preferred to train himself even to

sleep in the rain or snow or wrap

himself up in a silk raincoat and with a

kind of yoga breathing was able to sleep

out of doors. He also trained himself to

go practically without food simply in

order to not have to carry any weight.

In a way, he led a very heroic existence

just in order to not be bound to go to a

hut or carry a rucksack. The one thing

he absolutely refuses is responsibility

for anything or to the carry or or to

carry the weight of a situation.

So this is what happens in a pueris.

They're even capable of her heroism.

But what they can't do is ordinary. They

can be magnificent and even their ego

thrives on the idea of [ __ ] normies.

When they go hiking and mountaineering,

they have to carry rock sacks, pack

their food, pitch a tent. I am not going

to be a normie. I'm gonna be

exceptional. I'm gonna train myself

through yogic methods. I'm gonna do all

of this stuff. I'm going to like create

this weird artificial hardship. I would

rather be a heroic like kind of idiot.

Like you can just carry a bag, bro. Like

you don't need to have this intense

yogic breathing. But this is what their

life is like. Their life is built on

this fantasy. And this is what's really

confusing about it is that they can

absolutely work incredibly hard. They

can accomplish amazing things. And if

you're a pueris, you know this, right?

That's where everyone sees the potential

coming from. You know that you've done

things that ordinary human beings cannot

do. But the reason that you are stuck in

life is because you cannot bring

yourself to be ordinary. The only option

that you've got is extraordinary. Make

sense? What a pueris fears more than

anything else

is the loss of potential. So I kind of

think about puera eternis as so so this

is kind of right. So like there's so

much potential right like you're a

gifted kid you can accomplish anything

that you want. You have this weird

heroism within you like where like if

you can find the right circumstances

then you can become this like demiggod

tier being. You can become something

like an Elon Musk, right? Because you're

just as smart as them. You can become a

billionaire and in the right

circumstances, if you can bring yourself

to your heroism, you can accomplish

great things. But the problem is that

anytime you try to engage in life, you

don't engage in this fantasy. It doesn't

turn out to be the dream that you had.

It's this like drab existence. And what

really holds puera attorney back is

actually this loss of potential. So I

sort of think about puera turni is a

pluropotent stem cell. So this stem cell

can be anything. It can be a neuron. It

can be cardiac muscle. It can be an

astroite. It can be a liver cell. It can

be like a beta cell in the pancreas. It

can be anything. The problem for pueris

is once you make a choice to

differentiate you lose the potential of

everything else. So the moment that you

make a commitment, this is the problem.

Making a commitment means sacrificing

all of the potential. And this is

something they cannot do. Right? So like

like there's all kinds of language that

I will hear about this like, oh, what

should I major in? But if I major in

this, if I date this person, if I major

in this, then what if it's the wrong

choice? What if it doesn't work out?

What if I don't like it? And they are so

paralyzed by being trapped in the drab

existence of reality, right? Like, oh my

god, if I have to debase myself to

become a a pleb and make small talk in a

water cooler in a cubicle as a sheeple,

I cannot tolerate that at all. So

they're they're completely they're

they're pathologically unable to make a

commitment or make a sacrifice. And so

what they end up doing is swimming

around in a state of pluropotent stem

cell, never making a commitment because

they're terrified of closing off the

doors of life. They're terrified of

losing options and being trapped. That

is what they fear more than anything

else. And if you are pathologically

afraid of being trapped, you can never

make a choice. So they sort of end up

swimming around in this partial life

which I think um this is a a great

example of this. Okay. So which HG

Baines described as the provisional life

that is the strange attitude and feeling

that one is not yet in real life. For

the time being one is doing this or that

but whether it is a woman or a job it is

not yet what is really wanted. And

there's always the fantasy that sometime

in the future the real thing will come

about. The one thing dreaded throughout

by such a type of man is to be bound to

anything whatever. There is a terrific

fear of being the singular human being

that one is. There is always the fear of

being caught in a situation from which

it is impossible to slip out. Okay, make

sense? So what ends up happening is the

puera turn ends up living something

called a marginal life. It is not a real

life. It is not a full life. It it's

like in the pregate area. I'm not going

to board a plane. Right? So like imagine

you're sitting in an airport. There's a

100 gates that planes are sitting there

that are going to 100 destinations. But

the problem for the pueris is the moment

that I get on one plane, I'm flying to

another another destination and that

means that the other 99 possibilities

are taken away from me. So they end up

swimming around

in the boarding area and never really

committing to anything, never really

accomplishing anything. And so they stay

in this like transitional zone for a

long time. What this practically looks

like is they will have these bursts of

interest and activity. Remember, they

can work for 24 hours at a stretch. I'm

going to become an entrepreneur. I'm

going to make a video game. I'm going to

write a TV show. I'm going to make a

book. I'm going to do all these things.

I'm going to learn the piano. And so,

they sort of have all of this like vim

and vigor for a thing. But then

inevitably what happens is they have

some kind of obstacle. Something gets in

the way and then they tend to give up.

They leave it alone. They go back to

their fantasy world which in include

things like video games, social media,

pornography, whatever and then their

desire to do something great happens

again and then they pick up their next

project. So what they end up living is

like you know 10 steps down aundst step

road like in 15 different directions. So

they have all of these like halffinish

projects, things like that, and they can

never like come to fruition on any given

thing. And this is what a marginal life

is. They end up sort of existing and

continuing to exist with a lot of

potential without ever actually sort of

creating any kind of actualization. And

I love this phrase. So um you know,

sometimes the way that uh psychoanalysts

will describe this is something called a

failure to constillate. So what does

that mean? So a constellation is a

collection of stars that forms a

picture, right? So you've got like this

star, this star, this star, and then we

tie things together and then we end up

with something that is greater than the

individual stars. But with a pueris,

they never form a picture of their life.

They never actually like create a

synthesized life that carries value.

It's just one random star over here, one

random star over here, one random star

over here. And it never like turns into

a real full lived life. It becomes a

marginal life or it stays a marginal

life. Okay. Now, there are a couple of

other things that we need to talk about.

So, what do puer eterni really, really,

really hate? So, here's what the cycle

of a puerist looks like. Okay. So, first

thing is they have a fantasy life. they

have a failure to commit. And the reason

they have a failure to commit is because

this cuts off possibilities, right? The

problem with making a decision in life

is that you lose the opportunity to make

other decisions. And so then what

happens is they're kind of in this like

perpetual loading zone, but life is

moving along. And so since they can't

commit to anything, this is what's

really scary. This is what's really

unfortunate in life. Even if you don't

make commitments, life will show up at

your doorstep and force you to choose.

So then they are forced into a choice.

So they get some job, right? Like you

got to pay your bills somehow. So they

kind of get like reluctantly thrust

through a particular door, but that's

not a career, right? They're not making

a choice that I'm going to be this, do

this for the rest of my life. In fact,

they hate their job. Their job is

beneath them, but they're forced into a

choice. Then what they do is they

halfass it, right? Because it's not this

fantasy that like they're not like I'm

meant for more than like stacking boxes.

This is not take advantage of my

brilliance. So they end up kind of

halfassing it. So as they halfass it,

the next thing that happens is it is

clearly less than their fantasy, right?

It's like this is like not the greatness

that I lived for. And since it's less

than their fantasy, they start to long

for their fantasy, right? So I end up

being what I hate more than anything

else, which is an ordinary human being.

But in my mind, I have great great great

dreams. So the more ordinary my life is,

the more that I hate it. I'm certainly

not going to commit to an ordinary life.

That's a terrible idea. I'm going to

long for a fantasy. And so since there

I'm longing for fantasy, but I don't

know. I can't like pick one, right? I

can't go allin for something. There's no

actual like initiation

of activity, right? And this sort of

creates something like procrastination.

They're not going to quit their job and

actually move to Hollywood. And then

what happens is they're in the perpetual

loading zone. So they get stuck in this

cycle where they're like since I can't

commit to anything because I'm terrified

of the loss of possibilities, right?

Because what if I commit to the wrong

thing? And then the other problem is

when I do try to make a commitment, why

don't I commit? I can start things, but

when I start things, it's not what I

thought, right? The actual like process

of building a video game is [ __ ]

boring. Like making cool spells is

really neat. Like coding things and

fixing bugs and debugging is not neat.

So there's this fundamental discrepancy

that prevents them from like anytime

they try to move forward in life,

they're disappointed. And they're

terrified if they move forward. Well,

like what if I end up in a life that's

disappointing? I don't want that. I

don't want to be trapped. They need

escape more than anything else. They

need freedom to have their fantasies

become realities and that's what they're

terrified of. So now what we're going to

do is go over a couple of like

psychological steps that a puerist tends

to take. Okay, so we already talked

about how nothing is ever good enough,

right? They have difficulty with

commitments. They have difficulty saying

goodbye to possibilities. There are a

couple of other psychological things

that they do. The first is they have

this belief that in the perfect

circumstances my perfection will come

out. Right? That the road to living my

dreams is not hard drab work for 10 or

15 years with a possibility that it

never will happen. The right way to have

my fantasy become a reality is to find

the perfect circumstances. So, if I can

find the right job, if I can find the

right friends, if I can find the right

if I can just find something that brings

this 24 hours of manic hard work out,

like I know I can do it in the right

circumstances. So, what they go doing is

hunting for circumstances over and over

and over again that will bring out their

perfection. The second thing that they

tend to do is blame their circumstances.

Right? So if bringing my brilliance out

requires circumstances, the perfect set

of circumstances cuz I did it for a day

and all the stars align and I was able

to do it for a day. What they end up

doing is blaming other people because oh

like the game was working great but then

like this person showed up and then I

had to do all this extra work and like

something else happened. There's a lot

of blaming of circumstances. And here's

the really crazy the craziest thing that

they blame as a circumstance is

themselves. They blame prior you. So

this is what's really important. We may

think that this is taking

responsibility. It's not taking

responsibility. Because if you took

responsibility for your past mistakes,

you would change now. You would actually

correct them. But they don't correct

their mistakes. What they do is blame

prior them as a circumstance. Oh, if I

had made the right choice back then, I

wouldn't be in this situation. But that

doesn't mean they make the right choice

today. Right? So, this is what's really

interesting is like there's this weird

self-lame

without responsibility. So, they blame

prior them for creating the shitty life

that I have today. Or they'll do things

like I I don't know if this kind of

makes sense, but like, you know, they'll

say like, "Oh, I like I never learned

how my parents didn't teach me this. I

missed the boat on that." Right? Right?

So, because so, so now if you think

about it, oh, like I never had a

girlfriend in high school, never kissed

a girl in college, never had sex, now

I'm 25, now I can't do any of that.

Like, I've missed the boat. So, if you

really think about it, they're not

taking responsibility for their

situation. They're blaming their

circumstances for their inability to

bring their fantasies to life. It's too

late for them, which is the absolute

absolution,

the absolute absolution of

responsibility, right? Because now it's

too late. So, like I certainly don't

need like normally when you're behind in

life, the way to catch up is through an

excessive amount of drab, dreary ass

work, boring [ __ ] after boring [ __ ]

after boring [ __ ] day after day, year

after year. That's actually how you put

together your life. But the thought of

that is so terrifying. I would rather

wear the safety blanket of it's

impossible for me to fix my life.

Classic Puera Tourners. Okay, so the

next thing is that they tend to be

fragile. They have an image of

themselves that is fragile. The reason

that they fail to succeed, and this is

what's really scary as a psychiatrist,

so I see this a lot, is they will point

to some physical health or mental health

thing that is the reason why they can't

do something. So, oh yeah, like my

depression is so bad. I've been

traumatized. I have an addiction.

Therefore, I cannot. My stomach hurts. I

have IBS. I've got this weird autoimmune

disease. I've got chronic lime. And this

is what's so hard about this. As a

psychiatrist, I will be the first to say

that any of those conditions can be

debilitating. But they will use the

condition which may be genuinely

debilitating as an excuse. Right? So

there when I work with people in my

office like one of the first things that

I have to solve for them is just because

you have a disadvantage there is a lot

of drab dreary work right like going to

[ __ ] Alcoholics Anonymous meetings

three times a week coming to therapy

changing your social situation deleting

contacts from your phone grinding going

to places that make you feel

uncomfortable but they don't want to do

all of those little steps. They would

rather just go to some psychedelic

retreat and be cured or just suffer and

say it's unsolvable. The one thing they

will never do is the hard work. So

there's a certain fragility to them that

they actually hold on to. They

prioritize. Okay. Next thing that

happens is that they have a defensive

arrogance. In addition, there is an

arrogant attitude toward other people

due to both an inferiority complex and

false feelings of superiority. Such

people also usually have great

difficulty in finding the right kind of

job for whatever they find is never

quite right or quite what they wanted.

There is always a hair in the soup. The

woman is also never quite the right

woman. She is a nice girlfriend, but

there's always a butt which prevents

marriage or any kind of de definite

commitment. And this is not just true of

like romantic relationships. This is

true of even a career. A hair in the

soup is, I think, the perfect example of

their experience in life. There's a

whole bowl of soup that can actually be

delicious, but there's a hair in it. I

can't just take the hair out and keep

eating. I can't be grateful that at

least I'm getting soup that's pretty

tasty. The moment that I find the hair,

it's gone. So they have this weird like

defensive ego, right, where they need to

be greater than other people. And this

is where the rucksack story comes back,

right? So this idea that like rather

than be a pleb and just carry around a

bag and have to like shop and pack and

roll up the tent every day and unroll

the tent every day, rather than doing

the dreary labor, I have this like idea

of I'm going to learn a deep yogic

breathing technique that allows me to

transcend the bounds of ordinary

humanity. I will be great or I will be

nothing at all. And the really scary

thing is that since they long for this

like exceptionalism, the world that we

live in today gives us many many

opportunities for it that like didn't

exist before. So now what we're seeing

is Pira Turney get addicted to video

games because I may be a noob and have

some dead-end job, but I'm still

terrified to go to college because what

if I major in the wrong thing? Then four

years from now, I've done all of this

work. This is what they're also

terrified of. doing a lot of work that

doesn't pay out pay off. The idea of

wasting time is so terrifying to them

that they never end up making a

commitment and they end up wasting time

again and again and again and again,

right? So they end up creating the life

which is exactly what they're terrified

of. So they can't make commitments. And

now what's happened is we have things

like video games. You know, if we have

an inferiority complex and a paradoxical

feeling of superiority, what am I going

to do? I'm going to smurf in video

games. I'm not going to actually do the

grinding to get better. I'm going to

stomp on noobs. Or they will do the

grinding to get better. Right? I'll play

this game over and over and over again

and feel myself be exceptional, but I'm

not going to [ __ ] write a paper about

theology in the 15th century. That is

beneath me. It is for the plebs. So,

video games are a great escape. I think

we're seeing this with pornography, too,

where there's this idealization, right?

Like, so like in pornography, we see all

the the pieces. We see fantasy. We see a

life of fantasy. Like the biggest

problem with incelss is not that they're

alone. It's that they want to date

someone who's a 10 out of 10. They're

not willing to date a 1 out of 10,

right? There are lots of people out

there, there are lots of women out there

who are lonely, but incelss feel

superior to them even though they're

alone. So there's this weird like

paradoxical kind of thing where like I

feel superior to people even though I'm

below them. And that's what we know is

that narcissism is rooted in insecurity.

So we're seeing that like technology is

really activating and allowing the

pueris complex to really propagate and

we have a whole generation of puera

turni. So now the question becomes okay

if you're trapped in this cycle how do

you fix it? So let's talk about this.

Jung spoke of one cure work and having

said that he is has hesitated for just a

minute and thought is it really as

simple as that? Is that just the one

cure? Can I put it that way? But work is

the one disagreeable word which no

puerist likes to hear. So how do you fix

this problem? There's one central thing

that prevents a puerist from actually

paradoxically living up to their

potential and that is that they are in

unable to make sacrifices. They are

unable to make commitments. Right? So

the whole problem of being a pluropotent

stem cell is the moment that I choose to

major in something may not work out. And

so if you want to get out of this

complex, you will notice that in your

mind, if you're someone who's trapped in

this complex, what you will notice is

that you're always looking at the

upside. Always looking at the upside,

always looking at the upside, never

wanting to pay the downside, never

wanting to pay the cost. And the one

thing that you can never do is pay the

cost without the gain. So Puera turni

want to see a guarantee of the value of

their efforts before they ever begin.

But the world doesn't work that way

which is why they struggle so much right

so like I've met I've worked with puera

turn who are like I'm happy to get a job

at a company but I don't want an

entry-level position I want a strategic

position where my ideas will be

respected. They want to start at the se

they they won't work at a job but they

will absolutely start a company right

because the other thing about starting a

company and then even if the company

requires them to make commitments then

the company will fall apart but as long

as they can do it as a side hustle as

long as it doesn't restrict their

potential they can do anything and this

is the problem with life building a life

means giving up your potential generally

speaking that's what we do this is why

things like commitment are so hard for

them. Even relationship commitment, they

will absolutely exist in these like

loading zone relationships that are

filled of complacency. Like I happen to

date this person, they're kind of like

good enough for now. They're not really

the love of my life. They don't actually

propose. They don't want to have kids.

They need some time to think about it.

They're not sure they're ready yet.

They're considering opening the

relationship. They're not willing to

commit to a person because it closes off

all of these other possibilities, but

they can absolutely be in relationships.

They can absolutely they can work seven

years at a job and get mildly promoted

over that time, but they'll be damned if

they make it their career. And if you

look at your mind, you will see this

thought process. You will see that with

every decision that you are considering

making, you are terrified of the cost of

the decision, of the closing off of

possibilities.

But the life that they crave is achieved

precisely through that. The fantasy that

they have of being an entrepreneur means

giving up college. Right? You want to be

a college dropout. But when it comes

time to drop out of college, you're

unable to do it. Having a meaningful,

healthy, and fulfilling relationship

means settling. This word

I have to settle. And that's the one

thing that they cannot do. So what we

want to do is focus on the loss and be

able to really think about look at your

psychology and look at this cycle of

paralysis of lack of commitment followed

by swimming around in the loading zone.

And then the really terrifying thing is

that like the doors start to close,

right? And then once the doors start to

close, you go to this aspect of blaming.

And the favorite person to blame is

former you. And now it's not possible

anymore. But if you kind of look at it

now that it's not possible, this excuses

you from making a commitment. This

excuses you from the drab dreary work

that you need to do to make up for the

lost time. Because when you've fallen

behind in life, you don't make up for it

by do by like discovering something

magnificent by winning the lottery. you

really make up for it by like grinding

extra hard. But their fantasy tells

them, "No, I there's some way if I find

the perfect circumstance, if I find the

right business partners, if I find this

like I can be a 32year-old, I can have I

can be broke at 32 and be a billionaire

at 35, if I find the right thing." And

so they since they're unwilling to

commit, since they're unwilling to do

drab work, then suddenly they're 35 and

they're exactly where they started. They

haven't moved at all. And now the

problem becomes worse. So now you need a

more fantastical thing to save you. And

this is the core of the psychological

problem. This is what Yun really

discovered is that they cannot make a

commitment. They cannot make a

sacrifice. They cannot pay a cost

without a guarantee of a gain. And if

you cannot do that, you will never move

forward in life. So the most important

thing to do if you're stuck in this

cycle is focus on the cost, not the

gain. Anytime they look at something,

literally like I I've worked with these

people. I am used to be one of these

people. What they sort of look at is

they look at the upside what it could

be. Their focus their their eyes are on

the fantasy not the reality because the

reality is drab. And when you get

attracted by the fantasy and you

encounter the reality hold on this is

where I wanted to go but this is what it

is. Uh-uh. Then you go back to square

one and at least you feel safe because

you didn't invest too much. So what

you've got to do is really look at the

cost. Literally what I would tell you to

do is think about the loss of potential

and try to get rid of as much potential

as you can because the potential is what

is paralyzing you. It's what allows it

doesn't it it's what traps you or makes

it incapable for you to actually take a

step forward because the moment that you

walk through one door other doors close

and that's exactly what you need to do.

start sacrificing your potential in

chunks. The second thing that's really

important for Puerto Ri is to recognize

that the real work is internal. That the

struggles that you need to fight are

internal. Right? So growth is not about

like getting promoted. It is about being

able to grind. And this is where once

again that hero complex, this is why I

mentioned the hero complex because the

hero complex can come in and hijack

this. So you'll be attracted to some

heroic versions of growth. We see this

with like the biohacking community where

it's like I want to bio I don't want to

just like eat generally healthy and

exercise. I need to optimize. I need to

biohack. I need to get more with less.

Right? I don't want to do what normal

people do. I want to figure out a really

really specific protocol that uses the

latest and modern science to create a

very special kind of health. But just

eating oatmeal, beans, brown rice,

veggies, lean protein, like you can just

eat [ __ ] drab food that is healthy

and exercise a moderate amount and do

some yoga and that will get you 95% of

the way to maximal health. There's like

pretty overwhelming scientific evidence

of that. If you need a supplement for

fish oil or vitamin D because we spend a

whole time indoors, like sure, some of

that stuff is good. But we have these

gigantic meta analyses that basically

say healthy diet, moderate exercise,

healthy socialization, fish oil, vitamin

D, and you're basically golden. That

gets you 95% of the way there. Like we

know this. It's been figured out. And

everyone is enamored that there is

something great, something magnificent,

something fantastical that if I cook

things in the right way, if I arrange

things in the right way, I will be able

to be superhuman because I just don't

want to be a pleb. The other thing that

Puera turni are really focused on. So on

the one hand they're concerned about the

loss of potential and on the other hand

they are very very very stingy with

paying costs right. So like they can't

afford to spend their time, their

energy, their money. They're some of the

most frugal people on the planet, right?

And so you need to first of all think

about closing off potential because

that's what life is. Your your potential

doors are closing. You have to make a

choice or you don't have to make a

choice. You can continue swimming around

in the loading zone. And when you make

that choice, you are right. You will be

trapped. You will be trapped by that

choice. It'll absolutely trap you. It

will be drab. It will be dreary. It will

be tra You will be trapped. You will pay

a high price and you won't have anything

to show for it. That's how you break

out. That's the core of the complex. If

you can shift this one thing, you will

break free of it. And the big irony is

that once you break free of it, then you

open the door to constellating your

life. You open your door to no longer

living a marginal existence. You open

the door to actually building something

that you can be proud of instead of

having a heroic fantasy that is like

still bypassing all of the drab normal

plebby kind of stuff. Okay. Often times

they struggle with small things too. So

I'd say on a last practical note is

focus on small things and this is why I

think that like you know Jordan Peterson

I think really likes Carl Jung and he

talks about cleaning your room and I

think that's a really good thing. So

often times your life is built not out

of like fantastical 24-hour spurts of

movement but in like really practical

small things that are done day in and

day out which feel drab. So you should

try to make your life as drab, dreary,

and trapped as possible with lopping off

sections of potential. And if you do

this, you will no longer be a puerist.

You will literally grow the [ __ ] up. And

what does it mean to be an adult? An

adult means [ __ ] doing the laundry,

doing the dishes, emptying the

dishwasher, doing the dishes again.

That's what my life is. Like literally,

right? So people can look at someone

like Dr. Okay. And they can think, "Oh

my god, like his life is great." And my

life is great, don't get me wrong. But

the way that it got here, even I was

doing dishes from 10:00 to 10:45

yesterday because my kids are at home

and they like make a mess and then they

[ __ ] parenting. It's like not

exciting. It's not fun. But that's what

life is. So, let's open it up to

questions. Jesus, dude, you are not

making a sale right now. Exactly. So, I

don't know exactly what that person

meant, right? But this person's like,

"You're not selling it to me." You're

damn right. That is the problem because

it has to be so it has to fit into this

idea of fantasy. I What do you want me

to tell you? Do you want me to tell you?

Oh my god, there's a secret technique.

There's this one enzyme that you can buy

right now for $69.95 that'll alter your

dopamineergic circuitry in a novel way.

It's this new science kind of thing. And

if you understand the science and if you

do this, instead of being a degenerate

[ __ ] loser, you can be a billionaire

entrepreneur. And it's this new secret

thing that will allow you to without any

of the drab dreary work will allow you

to accomplish all of your dreams. That's

what we see on the internet. Why do we

have all of these [ __ ] fake fitness

wellness optimization podcast

entrepreneur bros? Why do these people

exist? Because we're a [ __ ] society

of Puera Eterni. We're a whole

generation of people who are living in

our parents' basement. Like literally

50% of people under the age of 30 are

still living at home for the first time

in humanity. Well, not first time in

humanity. Used to be normal for a long

time. We're playing video games. We have

poor mental health. We're addicted to

pornography. And we have all of these

people selling us. Literally, if you

look at like these alpha male people,

they literally are selling you. It's

just a picture of a dude surrounded by a

lot of women in bikinis. and he sells

you some course to for you to enter the

upper echelons of society. You can be

everything that you claim to be in your

head. All of your fantasies can come

true. And what what do they do? How do

they sell this [ __ ] They sell this [ __ ]

by [ __ ] on normal people. They're

like, "Fuck that. I ain't ever going to

work in a UPS. That is beneath me. I

ain't ever going to date a girl who's

less than a nine. I ain't ever That's

all beta [ __ ] They're playing perfectly

into this complex of fragile ego,

inferiority, and superiority complex.

They're playing y'all like fiddles,

which is why they are huge, which is why

video games are huge. Puer Eternai used

to be a fraction of the population. It

is quickly becoming a majority. And the

really hilarious thing here is that

they've even grappled onto red pill

versus blue pill, but they kind of

flipped it around. I don't know if this

makes sense. Taking the red pill is

making the hard choice, right? It's like

you can live in your life of comfort.

You can stay in this world and be a bot

in a simulation and not know the truth

of things, but if you take the red pill,

then you will feel the harshness of

reality. I don't know if this makes

sense, though. when they idealize that

that is actually the blue pill. It is

the fantasy of being a hero instead of

the reality of being a pleb. Making the

hard choices actually taking the blue

pill and grinding away like all the

normies in the simulation with the

possibility of not achieving anything.

But we have this hero complex where I'm

going to take the red pill and I'm going

to make the hard choices. You're not

making the hard choices. You're avoiding

the hard choices. and you're magnifying

it with some hero complex in your head.

Does that make sense? It's like so weird

how the people who talk about the red

pill are actually the most bluepilled.

They're living in a world of fantasy.

And like do you guys think it's like

like this is wild. I want y'all to think

about this. Okay. Mary Louise von Frron

wrote this book. She was alive from 1915

to 1998. This is the third edition. Was

published in 2000. I don't know when she

wrote the original book. Okay. But this

is like this is a concept from like the

1950s. And like when we look at things

like red pill psychology, she's talking

about this like there's a typical form

of the same disturbance. In this case,

the image of a mother, the image of the

perfect woman who will give everything

to a man who is without any shortcomings

is sought in every woman. So that each

time he is fascinated by a woman, he is

later has to later discover that she's

an ordinary human being. Right? And

people say like, "Oh, they don't treat

human women as humans." Whatever. Sure.

But it goes deeper than that. This is

the fantasy they're living. The whole

red pill ideology is an ideology of

fantasy. And I'm not trying to like [ __ ]

on these people. I'm just saying like

like think about this y'all. This book

was like conce this concept was

conceived 70 years ago. And it so

perfectly fits what is going on in the

minds of some of these men today. Cuz

heaven forbid I lock myself in to dating

a woman who will have the horrible crime

who will commit the horrible crime of

getting older. And if she has kids, oh

my god, there's going to be bodily

changes. So instead, what I'm going to

do is I'm gonna spin plates.

I'm gonna pass on my gene pool. And

we're talking about dudes, but Puella

eterni are just as bad. The most

psychologically [ __ ] up patients I've

had in my my office are not Puella

attorney. They are the children of

Puella erni. A puella attorney is a

female pueris, right? So remains a

child. So these are people who have

fantasies of motherhood but bail.

They're people who get pregnant and then

after they have kids, they don't want to

change diapers. They're out partying.

They don't want to wipe up vomit.

They're [ __ ] absent mothers. They

want to reclaim their youth. They're

getting plastic surgery and become

influencer moms and use their children.

They don't want to do the work of

motherhood, but they will absolutely

live the fantasy of motherhood and I'm

going to show it to the whole world and

the world will love me for it. I will be

this hero hero in complex. Look at me.

I'm a woman who's just trying so hard in

the world and the world is against me

and it's never my fault and oh my god,

like I just can't wipe up [ __ ] But

instead, what I'm going to do is coach

my three-year-old for 4 hours to say

something really profound. I'll record

them and then I will upload it to the

internet and then everyone will see how

much of an awesome mother I am. Moms who

didn't do the dishes, didn't cook for

their kids, were terrified of the

changes, the natural physiological

changes that happen in their body once

they have kids. and to try to counter th

those changes will seek validation from

other sources outside of the home and

[ __ ] abandon their kids. Puella turni

are just as bad. But what I like about

this concept of pueris and puella is it

gives us a specific insight into a

specific thing that needs to change. Be

willing to be trapped. Be willing to be

drab. Be willing to be ordinary. To

radically accept the dreiness of your

life. And that is the require the

requirement of escape. But you all need

to be careful because if you're not

careful, you will heroise that. And if

you heroise it, if you say like, "Oh,

I'm going to be great by accepting the

dreiness of my life." That's the puera

turn complex hijacking it. And you'll do

it for a week. Then you'll realize, "Oh,

the heroic journey of the drab is really

[ __ ] boring." And then you'll just

start playing video games and jerking

off. Hey y'all, hope you enjoyed today's

video. We talk about a bunch of topics

like this on the channel, so be sure to

subscribe for more. If you're already

subscribed, GG, and we'll see you in

chat.

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