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NIGHT. All day.

>> That's just for dice to hold.

>> Yeah, he just holds on to them. Oh, and

he he holds on to them and then he swaps

them out for a new one.

>> Was the unlit cigarette like the

original fidget spinner?

Well, most people don't do it because

most people when they have a cigarette

in their hand, they want to light it.

>> But Dice

>> has got the ability to just hold on to

the cigarette.

>> Do you remember when candy cigarettes

were a toy for kids?

>> Yeah, I had those.

>> Oh, yeah. They were priming you.

>> Totally. And they would poof like sugar

would come out.

>> No, I don't remember that.

>> Oh, yeah. You go and like powder sugar

would come out. Really? Yeah. Am I

right, Jamie? Am I making that up?

>> I remember them just being like a candy

that you said or was that just the

cocaine? stick

>> parents put on it.

>> It was just a candy stick.

>> Chalk stick.

>> Maybe there was Maybe there was a

different one. Maybe there's more than

one kind of candy cigarette.

>> Couldn't you? There was like gummy

cigars. I remember. And then the candy

cigarettes. That must have been them

just trying to get you addicted to just

like the motion of it or like

participate with your parents or

something.

>> Yeah. It was just a way to sell candy,

but probably also engineered by the

tobacco companies. That was back when

they were lying about cigarettes being

addictive, too, and causing cancer.

>> Well, they used to prescribe it to

pregnant women, right? To

>> They used to prescribe it for kids with

asthma.

>> Yeah.

>> Need to strengthen those lungs up,

fella.

>> And this is my favorite thing. Did they

know?

They already knew.

>> Yeah, they already knew.

>> They already knew.

>> Everybody had to know. You smoke

cigarettes for a while, you start

coughing up black [ __ ] you feel

terrible. According to the internet,

this this pack did have some sort of

would blow smoke according to this

person on Facebook.

>> Whoa. I remember a play lighter or a

lighter battery. So, a battery. I don't

know what that is.

>> Smoke that would suck on this battery.

>> What the [ __ ]

>> As kids, we would suck on actual

batteries. We just need one to go.

>> Oh, yeah. Remember when you lick them,

>> dude? We would to try to like

>> those square ones.

>> Yeah. The 9 volts.

>> We'd be in school just like lick it,

lick it, lick it.

>> Yeah. We would lick it just to get a

jolt in your tongue.

>> It is wild how like like yes the phones

are obviously very bad for kids, but

when you think about the stuff we did as

kids, I was just like I would just hang

out with a light socket for like 2

hours. It's all I needed. A paper clip,

light socket. Like it's a

>> light socket

>> or like a Yeah. The the

>> electric socket.

>> Electric socket.

>> You would go into an electric socket

with a paper clip.

>> Did no one else do this?

>> That's really bad.

>> Did you inhale glue or no?

>> Oh, I sniffed

>> rubber cement. Yeah. Okay, good. I'm

like, "Okay."

>> Oh, I used to love making models. I used

to make like Godzilla models. You know

those? You remember those models? Yeah.

You had rubber cement glue. You remember

those?

>> Yeah. Yeah. You would um in Elmer's,

too. Peel it off your skin. We just put

it on our skin and just peel it off.

>> Oh, yeah.

>> Just like a leprosy fetish or something.

>> Yeah. With the uh the rubber cement glue

was a big one though. A lot of people

sniff glue.

>> We used to have a glue gun. My mom had a

glue gun

>> for what? It's like a hot glue gun to

cra crafts, arts, crafts.

>> Okay.

>> Kill men. I don't know. When you when

you look back at [ __ ] your parents did,

you're like, "What was that?

>> What were you interested?

>> Why did she have powdered gold and put

it in coffee of the men she was dating?

What was that?"

>> Uh but like a glue gun. Like there was

just so much dangerous [ __ ] growing up.

When I think about my like injuries as a

kid, I'm like, "Yeah, I got burned on

the glue gun." Everyone's like, "Huh?"

>> Yeah. They weren't looking out for kids

back then. Like when did they start like

worrying about dangerous toys?

I I mean after like the 50th lawn dart,

you know, aorta puncture.

>> Oh, I remember the lawn darts. Those are

crazy. You're

>> just throwing like

>> It's a [ __ ] weapon. And they were

heavy.

>> If they hit you in the head, you would

die,

>> dude. It was just like tetanus like

>> right in the heart.

>> Let's Let's look this up. How many

people do you think have died from lawn

darts?

>> It has to be way more than is reported

for sure.

>> Right. Right. Right.

>> I'm just putting this here so I don't

>> It has to be dozens.

>> And seesaws.

Uh yes, you remember a lot of people. No

seat belt, no just

>> just plywood with handles

>> with a handle.

>> But we would also It's such a testament

to our nature cuz we would make it even

more dangerous. Like remember like you'd

be on the seesaw like if you were up I

would you'd like jump off it to watch

the kid

>> just to watch the kid [ __ ] plummet to

the earth.

>> So sadistic just carine to the ground.

>> What is uh our sponsor Perplexity said?

Uh, pointed metal lawn darts were

officially linked to three child deaths

in the United States before they were

banned. Just three,

>> definitely more than that.

>> Officially linked. From 78 to 86,

approximately 6,100 to 6,700 people were

treated in US emergency rooms for lawn

dart injuries, most of them children.

found lawn dart injuries led to a 4%

case fatality rate in its patient sample

with many severe head and eye injuries

with help which helped justify the

eventual ban.

>> So only a couple a but mostly children.

I would like to know the story of the

adults

>> but I mean people hit people with

shovels like like

>> I guess because lawn darts are a toy

>> that they had a bandit.

>> Yeah, there was a lot of that. Remember

um what are these? Pogo sticks.

>> Mhm.

>> I mean those were so dangerous when you

think about they were just like they

were just like

>> they still have those though.

>> Pogo sticks. Those were hard.

>> The most dangerous toys for kids.

>> Trampolines. Remember the ones with the

metal coils?

>> Oh, did you ever see the atomic energy

lab in the 1950s?

>> Yes.

>> Yeah. It actually had legitimate

radioactive material.

>> I I love that they were like, "You know

what, guys? Child labor. This is

inhumane. This is wrong. Come, go play

with some toys. Here's a radioactive

uranium bomb.

>> Well, didn't Mioaku make a some sort of

a reactor in his basement or his

backyard or something like that when he

was a child?

>> When he was in high school, I think.

>> Yeah,

>> legend.

>> Well, he's like a legitimate scientist,

but I mean, when he was a child, he made

a [ __ ] nuclear reactor in his

backyard. I went to get um Nyquil or

Pseudafed the other day and they made me

show my ID.

>> Oh yeah. Cuz you can make me math with

it.

>> Right. Right. Right. Right. Sick.

>> Meanwhile, you can get a prescription

for Adderall. Just say you have ADHD.

>> I don't even think you have to do that.

You just have to be like, I'm bored,

>> right?

>> I'm neurody divergent. Yeah.

>> Right. You I mean it's all

self-dagnosed. I can't concentrate.

>> Are we going to look back the way that

we look at like you know the Nazis and

go like they were on meth. Are we going

to look back in like 20 years and be

like everyone was on meth?

>> Yeah, everyone's on Adderall. That's for

damn sure. I mean, the amount of

journalists that are on Adderall is off

the charts. A friend of mine was telling

me like all of his colleagues take

Adderall

>> to

>> help them work.

>> Yeah.

>> Because they have so many projects that

they're doing that require intense

[ __ ] research and they're

>> googling saying GPT, please write my

article for me. Did you see I think it

was the New York Times or someone left

in uh Jamie, do you remember the prompt

that ends the you know what it spits out

on Chat GPT to prove that they had just

copy and pasted it? Like wild.

>> Yeah. Well, there's a lot of that.

There's a lot of shitty people in every

walk of life. There's bad doctors, bad

plumbers,

>> bad journalists, but a lot of them are

on aderall. A lot of them are on speed.

>> It's just that there's so much

adrenaline out there to get. There's so

many like natural ways I feel like to

get that, you know.

>> Yeah, but I don't think it covers you. I

think if you really want to like sit in

front of that [ __ ] [ __ ] computer and

bang out words, it seems like aderall is

the way to go.

>> But if you really do have ADD or

whatever this is, like I'm the first to

say like what are all these diagnoses?

Um, but because I was prescribed 5

milligrams slow release aderall to sleep

>> to sleep.

>> If you actually have it, it calms you

down. It doesn't amp you up.

>> What is it? What is it? ADHD. the

inability to focus or the a busy brain.

Dude, I

>> look I just I think a lot of our

superpowers are being dull. A lot of

people with superpowers are being dulled

by pharma and we're being pathized for

actually kind of extreme strengths, you

know, in a lot of ways. So

>> there's a lot of like legitimate people

that are arguing that about ADHD.

>> Okay, good. I'm not like a

>> no like legitimate psychologists,

neuroscientists that it's what it is is

you can't concentrate on things you're

not interested in, but you can

concentrate on things you're interested

in like heavily. Like

>> if people that are that supposedly have

ADHD, they can play video games for

[ __ ] 10 hours a day.

>> That's exactly right.

>> Well, how come? Because it's exciting.

Oh, they can't sit in a classroom and

watch some pedophile lecture them on

fake history while they're getting

hemorrhoids and some like chair with

like shitty lighting above them. I mean,

it's like Yeah, of course kids are bored

with Of course they can't sit still.

Exactly.

>> You know, well, it was I was reading

about how Finland they don't um uh teach

their kids to read until they're like

seven because uh it's better to have

them develop their ability to focus

first on the things they want to do. So,

by the time they do learn to read, they

actually, you know, can focus.

>> Sounds like a terrible idea. You're

gonna be so far behind my kids.

>> Well, yeah. I mean, look,

>> kids in America learn how to read when

they're little babies,

>> if at all. Uh, if at all.

>> Like, I mean, yeah, that's the other

thing when it's like, don't teach kids

to read. It's like by that time is

Nurling just going to learn to read for

them. Who knows? It's interesting like

having a kid now, I'm like, what do I

what world do I prepare them for? Do I

even teach them Mandarin or is that just

going to be like remember when you two

just put a song on our phone?

>> It was so weird.

>> Well, that was Apple's idea. And you

know, I talked to Bono about that. He

was, you know, it was devastating for

them because all a sudden everyone hated

you, too. They used to love you, too.

>> Yeah.

>> They had so many hits. They're so good.

And then all a sudden, [ __ ] you. Why are

you on my phone?

>> Isn't that interesting the human nature

of I love something unless you force it

on me?

>> Yeah. Well, it's just people are always

looking for a reason to complain. And if

you have this song on your phone right

away, like, hey, [ __ ] these guys.

>> But also, I want to hunt. Let me find

it. Let me feel like I discovered

something.

>> Well, I think they just thought it would

be a great way to promote this new album

>> and they just really didn't understand

human nature.

>> It's also Yeah, it used to be like if

you saw five billboards for something,

you're like, I got to see that movie.

Now you see like five ads for it and

you're like, why are you trying so hard?

Like if it's good, I'll hear about it.

>> Yeah. I try to tell that to my friends

like do not get overexposed. Like

there's a re I mean I don't just say no

to everything because I'm not interested

in doing anything more. Yeah. But it's

also because I'm clearly overexposed and

you got to know when you're overexposed.

But I have friends that like they'll do

every [ __ ] interview that anybody

asks. They'll do every project that

comes up. They never have any time. Like

I got to slow down. Like yeah, you got

to slow down. Like why are you doing all

this [ __ ] You're already wealthy. Yeah.

>> Why are you doing this?

>> Be a little mysterious.

>> Live a [ __ ] life.

>> Live a life on top of what you're doing.

Live an actual life. Don't wait until

you're 60 and go, "What did I do?"

>> Right? Even if it's for if you need to

justify it through workaholic purposes.

Like it took me so long to get out of my

workcoholism. I the first time I had to

do it by justifying it by going I'll be

better at my work. If I have a life,

like for art to imitate life, you have

to have a life. That's how I'm going to

go get stories. That's how I'm going to

go. You know,

>> I think especially as a comic now,

there's a lot of funny people out there.

I think if we've learned anything from

memes and stuff, you're like, I don't

this guy just works at Best Buy and who

who made this meme. This is hilarious.

You know, I think in the beginning a lot

of it was like stolen from comics.

Remember like that fat Jewish hidden

>> Oh yeah. Whatever happened to that guy?

>> There was another one too. I don't know.

>> But he was stealing memes or he was

stealing jokes and turning them into

memes.

>> I think there was a couple where you

would go like that's a Mitch Heber joke.

Like that's definitely a Steven Wright

joke or Dimmitri or something. but like

Zack Alphanakas or it would be um lesser

known comics, you know, like they go to

a lesserk known comic feed like people

that wrote for

>> Fallon or Leno, you know,

>> go to a showcase night at the store

>> or like get their tweets. You can just

pull their tweets and change them a

little bit.

>> Whatever happened to that guy cuz he was

hated boy when he got started getting

exposed. He was hated and then he just

kind of vanished.

>> It was huge for a while. There was

another one too and I don't remember the

name of it. Um that was doing the same

exact thing.

>> But the fat Jewish guy almost seemed

like he was like a corporate created

entity cuz he had the crazy hair. Right.

That weird [ __ ] bun.

>> That's right.

>> Yeah.

>> He was like a slob. Like but he had like

a wine like

>> sold it to Annheiser Bush for millions

of dollars. I don't know how much.

>> Wow. So he's

>> What did he sell?

>> A rose rosé is what it's called.

>> What is rosé? It's a a type of wine, but

that's actually what the That's what the

brand was called. The

>> Oh, no, no, no. I know what Ros was

called, too. That is the

>> My heart cannot take Ros.

>> I know Ros the wine is

>> called Babe. I see that now. Rosé

company called Babe.

>> Oh, so he sold his wine and then he just

like I'm out

>> for millions and now Yeah. says he's

about to open a bank.

>> That's what this article says.

>> Where do I sign up?

>> What? It must be hilarious if he's

opening up a bank. Definitely didn't

steal those jokes. Yeah.

>> Most most really hilarious people want

to open a [ __ ] bank.

>> I love that he's just like, "I'm Jewish.

What am I good at?

>> Just open a bank." Like, "What?"

>> Turn out he's not even Jewish.

>> Exactly.

>> He's a Baptist or something.

>> Yeah. Jews are like, "We're not fat.

What is it? Like, get your [ __ ]

together." But also, yeah, that was so

uh like for a second there I was like,

"Joe, there's a chance he doesn't know

what ro is."

>> No, no, no. I know what that is.

>> You know,

>> I just thought it was a company.

>> It's what like the Rainy Street killer

gives his victims before pushing them

off.

Dude, your boy Brandon over here. I was

like, what's with the Rainy Street

Killer? I always want like the updates

on the Austin serial killer who's

pushing gay dudes off bridges. And he

said, uh, he's like, I think it's tech

tech guys. They come down from San

Francisco during South by Southwest and

he strikes when it's like a tech

conference

>> really.

>> And he doesn't live here. Yeah.

>> They're trying to pretend that it's it's

not really a serial killer. The cops

want to say it's not really a serial

killer. I'm like, how many guys have to

drown before you start getting nervous?

So, they're only gay that these guys

>> Well, it's a gay neighborhood. That's

the thing. Not all of Rainy Street, but

there's a lot of like gay bars and gay

spots on Rainey Street.

>> How do the cops know the victims are

gay?

>> They just

they just they just check their

[ __ ] They're like, "I [ __ ] his I

[ __ ] the corpse's [ __ ] He's gay."

>> They bring a dilator.

>> You know, I've seen that guy in Grinder.

He is gay. Uh that it reminds me of um

like the Nazi it's been 10 minutes and I

brought up Nazis twice. Um the that

Nazis also killed gay people and like

I'm obsessed with how there were Nazis

that had to find out who was gay.

>> So did Christians.

>> Oh really?

>> Of course it's in the Bible.

>> To be like I just [ __ ] these guys. They

are gay. Let's get them.

>> In the old days in the Bible if a man

layeth with another man, you're supposed

to be put to death. That means like

someone signed up to be like, "I'll do

it. I'll I'll investigate who's gay

around here."

>> Well, the thing is though, they were all

gay.

>> Yeah.

>> That's the crazy thing. Like if you go

back in history, guys were [ __ ] each

other all the time. There was a The

Spartans did it.

>> They had a philosophy that you would

defend your lover more because like if

you were fighting alongside a man that

you loved, you would defend him more.

>> Was it love?

>> Is that what love is?

>> I'm still trying to figure it out.

Everybody's got their own definition for

that. Like what is it?

>> Yeah.

>> Love is mysterious.

>> That's a That's wild. I always am like

what are the things we're doing now that

we're going to look back in 50 years and

be like remember in 2006 when they were

doing that

>> trans surgeries

>> 100% especially on children.

>> Also having phones 24/7. Do you think

phones will be like cigarettes will be

like

>> no no it'll be in your body by then.

>> Oh right.

>> It it'll be fun. They they'll be

laughing. Remember when you used to have

to carry your phone around,

>> right?

>> Back in my day, you could leave your

phone at a restaurant,

>> right? Remember when you couldn't just

print from your mouth?

>> Mhm. Remember when you could find a

phone and just make calls from it

because there was no passwords?

If you found someone's flip phone, you

just open that [ __ ] up and start

calling people.

>> Yeah. You have to shut your phone off.

You'd have to go to the Verizon store

and go, "Hey, shut my [ __ ] phone

off."

>> And by then it was just

>> Yeah. The guys calling China.

>> Yeah.

That was the other thing. You would have

roaming charges. Do you remember those?

>> Yes. Also, remember when you lost your

phone and that was it?

>> Oh, yeah.

>> Now I can find my phone within my own

house. It'll tell me what room it's in.

>> Well, not only that, if I don't find my

phone, I could just go to the Apple

store and my phone is in the cloud and

then instantaneously I get a new phone

that's the same phone as my old phone

with all my messages, all my notes,

>> which is even more My notes are more

important than my messages cuz I keep so

many material ideas.

>> But you back them up. Oh yeah, always.

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Yeah, that that is I do. Not only do I

back them up, but I use other apps as

well. I use Evernote. I back them up.

>> Oh yeah, I like Evernote and Elephant

was one I was using for a while. Uh it's

like same thing like organiz help helps

like organize because you can also

search like by keyword,

>> you know, cuz sometimes like I've look

>> mom brain you know is real. Uh but I

think it's kind of good. I think it's

like it's like a software update. It's

like deleting [ __ ] I didn't need to be

remembering. Anyway,

>> that's a nice way of coping,

>> you know? Like my hippoc campus was just

full of So, I actually in some ways feel

like you might be smarter if you forget

half the [ __ ] you know, cuz half the

[ __ ] we learned has been debunked

anyway. Like half of like science in

history like is not even. So me

unknowing it might even make me smarter.

Like

>> Andrew Huberman was having a

conversation with a professor at

Stanford and he said, "What percentage

of what's in medical journals and what's

taught in school is no longer

applicable?" He said at least 50%.

>> Unbelievable.

>> At least 50% of the stuff that they were

telling people. Like look, they just

turned the food pyramid upside down

yesterday.

>> The food pyramid. Not only did it used

to just be like like brand muffins. It

was just

>> rice like bear claw. Like what the [ __ ]

Like

>> Yeah. You need spaghetti. That's number

one. Spaghettiio's at the base.

>> So crazy.

>> Ravioli slightly above that. And

remember they had just had a fish with

like eyeballs like what? That's actually

probably a good one now. But um

>> but at the top, you know, now like the

littlest amount of stuff you're supposed

to get is grains and you're supposed to

get meat and eggs at the bottom, which

was always

>> I mean, look, there was a study that was

like widely criticized fairly recently

that labeled Froot Loops as being

healthier than ground beef.

>> But who sponsored that study?

>> That's the thing about all these things.

It's like, who are these people? And can

I see them naked?

>> Yeah, that's it.

>> Take your [ __ ] clothes off. Let me

see what you look like.

>> That's my same thing about quotes. You

know how like we're in this quote

culture where you'll just see like and

you probably don't have this in your

algorithm, but it's like inspiring

quotes. And I'm like, I need to know who

said it.

>> I need to know who said it.

>> A lot of times it's fake. You You'll see

quotes attributed to Einstein. Sure.

>> And then I'll try to find out if it's

real and it's not.

>> Right. Right. Right. But it's just sort

of like it's like

>> slightly anti-semitic quotes, you know?

You're like,

>> hm. Oh,

>> Aristotle really say this,

>> right? Right. The Stoics. Yeah. Like

I don't know, man. Um, but uh

>> they weren't even Jews back then. What

the [ __ ] is this guy talking about?

>> I'm going to unfollow Ari Shafir once

and for all. Um, but that it said

General Mills on it. It said GM on the

side when we were all looking at this

pyramid. We knew that General Mills put

this pyramid out and we didn't even

think that there was a conflict of

interest there. Well, do you know how

the whole Kelloggs like serial thing

came about?

>> The Jerry Seinfeld movie?

>> No. Kelloggs. Do you do you know like

why he decided to make sugar like these

bland cereals?

>> Why?

>> To keep people from masturbating.

>> Sick.

>> That was the whole idea behind it. To

give people bland food so that they

wouldn't get aroused.

>> Is that what causes erections? Asking

for a friend.

>> Yes. Is that how the only way? The only

way to turn my guy on. Yeah. Spicy food.

Put it on your [ __ ]

>> Really? He's in.

>> Because I remember the the Seinfeld

thing was the post. That was Pop-Tarts.

So this is how actual cereal was

invented.

>> Cereal. Breakfast cereal. Kellogg's

breakfast cereal specifically. He was

like some sort of a weird Puritan. Hey,

let's let's look it up because he had

some really bizarre ideas. But the

primary idea was that if you feed kids

bland food, it would stop them from

being horny.

>> Kids, do kids get horny? I'm sorry.

>> Hell yeah.

>> Like 13, 14.

>> Okay. Okay. Got it. I got teens.

>> Well, as soon as the hormones start

going, I remember being like, where is

all this coming from? Like you're all of

a sudden horny like where you were never

horny and then all of a sudden you're 12

and it starts coming on like a storm.

Yeah.

>> And then you're 13 like what the [ __ ]

>> And all your female teachers want to

[ __ ] you.

>> Depends if you live in Florida.

>> They're all just letting you motorboat

them between periods.

>> I think you made that wrong, Bobby.

>> Yeah, it is. Once you have a kid, like

it really is. I feel so cliche like

about the ways you change once you have

a kid. Everyone warns you and you're

like, "Okay, okay." I mean, you really

look at every authority figure around

kids differently. Every teacher, every

coach, you're just like, "What are you

what are you in this for?" Like, you're

not in it for the money, right?

>> You're getting paid nothing. You don't

have kids to go to the school. Like,

what are you up to, dude?

>> Indoctrinating kids. Here it is. Brand

flakes.

>> No, Kellogg's brand flakes were not

created to stop kids from getting horny.

But the broader Kellogg's serial story

is tied to some very weird anti-ex ideas

from the 19th and 20th century.

Kellogg's brand flakes were introduced

in 1915 as a high-fiber breakfast cereal

market as a health food aid digest and

promote better for you breakfasts.

>> Where the sex myth comes from. John

Harvey Kellogg, a physician and 7th Day

Adventist, there it is, did believe that

bland, plain diets, especially cereal

and nuts, could help reduce sexual

desire and masturbation. And he pushed

those ideas at his sanitarium. So what

the [ __ ] is the no, it's a myth. It's

not a myth. This was his idea. He

believed it and he sold that stuff. How

can they say that's a myth?

>> Can you imagine how hard the publicists

at Kelloggs are working?

>> Yeah. Because

>> to make sure that's not on the internet.

>> That's why it's listed saying that it's

a myth. That's the only reason why

Perplexity is getting confused because

there's a bunch of propaganda saying

it's not. All you have to do is look at

the first thing. John Harvey Kellogg

believed that plain bland diets could

help reduce sexual desire and

masturbation. And he sold plain bland

food.

>> And back then, cereal was pretty much

just for kids. So, you can already

assume that it's going to be targeted at

kids.

>> These beliefs are most closely

associated with early flake cereals like

corn flakes and his general biological

living health philosophy, not with brand

flakes spec whatever.

>> Uh, so how true is the rumor? It is fair

to say that some of Kellogg's early

serial experiments were influenced by

his belief that plain foods could

encourage sexual restraint. So, it is a

good rumor. So, why are they saying that

it's not that it's a myth? I typed in

brand instead of corn flakes and it's

just

>> Oh, brand. There's flakes.

>> It was It was the bland. Bland, not. Did

you think I said brand?

>> I mean, I typed in brand cuz I

>> I meant bland.

>> But yeah, I know.

>> But bran is like a little bit more

flavorful. I used to really like brand

cereal.

>> I love raisin brand. It's delicious.

>> Raisin Bran is the bomb dity.

>> It's so filling. It's so good.

>> Especially frosted raisin br with the

sugar. I would I would and we would pour

sugar on it too cuz we always thought

sugar just gave you cavities. Nobody

thought it was killing you. So we take

scoops of sugar and just throw it on

those [ __ ] raisin bread.

>> Frosted flakes was my [ __ ]

>> Oh yeah. I was a big Captain Crunch man

myself.

>> Peanut butter.

>> Oh yeah.

>> Captain Captain Captain Crunch.

>> Captain Crunch.

>> We used to mix White Trash Till I Die

Apple Jacks with Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

>> Oo, those are good ones.

>> Now what? RFK.

>> Now what? Yeah, you better let me keep

having those. You know, I don't think

you should ban those, man.

>> I think like it's important to have

restraint and to have the option to do

something. And then

>> how about have a little [ __ ]

discipline

>> every That's it. That's it.

>> Yeah. How about give me the Froot Loops

with the dye? I want to look at pretty

colors.

>> Mhm.

>> I want my [ __ ] to be neon.

>> I'm not going to get cancer if I eat one

bowl. Okay, shut up.

>> That's the other thing. It's like the

stress is the worst for us. So, the

stress about like should I eat it?

Should I is worse than just eating it? I

was just talking to a friend who has

suffered multiple heart attacks from

stress. His doctor says there's nothing

wrong with his arteries, right?

>> And he's gotten these heart attacks

because literally his his body

constricts. He's in like a very serious

situation and his body constricts so

heavily that his arteries [ __ ] close

up and he has heart attacks. So, what is

the difference like between because I'm

all about like good stress on your body

like exposing yourself to good stress

and then bad stress? Your body knows the

difference, right? Bad stress is going

to be like the cortisol and then good

stress

>> that's like adrenaline, right?

>> Well, I'm hoping you're going to cut me

off.

>> Hermetic effect like so the hermetic

effect is like there's an argument with

certain foods, right? There's an

argument against certain foods like that

they have phytochemicals in them. So

what they have is like an actual toxin

that discourages predation,

>> right? But some of that is actually has

a hermetic effect and it's actually good

for you. Like

>> uh what's a good one? Uh broccoli

sprouts, you know what does that have

phosphoropane? What is it?

>> What is the word?

>> I can't remember the the photo

beneficial. No, photosynthesis is how

they convert sunlight into

>> food. So, but like when you're doing

good stress like exercise and

>> sulfurophane, is that what it is?

>> Yeah, I think you just said it as I was.

I think that's the word.

>> I think it's sulfurophane.

>> Is that it right there on the screen?

>> Sulfurophane.

>> Yeah, sulfurophane. A plant compound

formed when you chew or chop broccoli

sprouts which activates an enzyme that

converts a precursor called uh glucanin

into sulfurophane. Broccoli sprouts have

far higher levels of gluc

glucoraphanin

glucoraphanin and mature than mature

broccoli which is why they are such a

concentrated source of sulfurophane.

>> So you're eating the plant stress that's

>> well plants do release chemicals. You

want to hear a crazy one? This is really

nuts.

>> Plants are intelligent in some sort of a

weird way. And one of the things they

found is that if like say if a giraffe

is eating certain bushes y

>> um and they're they're eating them

upwind and so the wind comes down and

the other plants recognize that they're

being consumed and so they change their

chemical profile to make them

disgusting.

>> Starts tasting bad. Horses, same thing.

Horses will all be grazing in one place

and then they'll just pivot out of

nowhere and you're like, "What's going

on?" And they'll move to different

grass.

>> Yeah. It's like the grass realizes that

it's happening. Oh my god, it's a grass

apocalypse.

>> It like lets off some kind of, you know,

acid or something.

>> Nuts.

>> Wild.

>> So, this is the argument against

consuming plants that all the carnivore

people use is that there's these

chemicals like find out what the

chemicals they talk about. What are the

chemicals that uh carnivore diet people

think are dangerous from plants?

>> H

>> the idea is that plants can't defend

themselves. They're stationary. And so

what they do is they release things that

make them disgusting.

>> Got it. Yeah, makes sense. It is like,

you know, after having being pregnant, I

kind of just surrendered to being like,

what if I just ate what I craved? Like,

let me just let my body wisdom or

whatever like kind of go, you know? And

it was sourdough bread, not regular

bread, just sourdough, which I wonder if

that's allowed on the pyramid.

>> It's a lot better for you,

>> right?

>> Yeah.

>> Sourdough bread, eggs, and meat. No

salad. Like, it made me like nauseous to

like even think about salad. But maybe

that was just my blood type or whatever

it was.

>> My wife was really into frozen pizza

rolls, those little disgusting things.

And I would buy them for her. I'm like,

are you sure?

>> That is a Texas [ __ ] Like through and

through.

>> Carnivore diet advocates advocates often

argue that many common plant compounds

are toxic or anti-nutrients that harm

digestion hormones and or nutrient

absorption. Uh carnivore influence

usually group these under umbrella

anti-nutrients or plant defense

chemicals. Oxalates is one for sure.

>> Oxalates is terrible for you. Um, but

the way to get around that is cooking

them.

>> So, like this is like I used to eat I

used to always drink uh kale smoothies.

>> I used to take kale and throw it in

there with garlic and ginger and drink a

smoothie every day.

>> Then you left LA.

>> No, I I mean I felt fine doing it. I

never got kidney stones or anything like

that. But then I I started reading about

oxalates and then I had a bunch of

people on that told me that you can get

kidney stones. And I did actually get my

blood work done and it was high in

oxalates.

>> But also that's from almonds. I eat a

lot of I used to eat a lot of almonds.

>> Lectins, grains, beans, nuts. There it

is. Promote leaky gut, autoimmunity, and

general gut irritation.

>> Uh phitates, what is that? Uh phytic

acid, grains, legumes, and nuts

criticized for binding materials that

that uh and reducing their absorption.

tannins or other polyphenols described

by some meat advocates as additional

plant defenses that can inhibit nutrient

absorption or act as proxidants. But one

of the things that I've heard from

people that are pretty knowledgeable is

that the issue might not be the actual

plants itself. It might be pesticides.

>> That's the other thing that's they say

the worst thing you can eat at a

restaurant anywhere is salads because

it's just covered in pesticides. Like I

am washing my fruit and vegetables more

than I wash my own body.

>> See if this is true because I read this

that 100% of all California wines tested

poss tested positive for glyphosate

>> and in out in Malibu Rathon because

there was a Rathon plant.

>> Oh yeah.

>> Uhhuh.

>> Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

>> And [ __ ] Actually

>> rocket dine used to be in my

neighborhood.

>> Wild.

>> Yeah. I wonder if I got juiced up.

Remember when I went out and before I

had a kid and I was just fighting people

over rescuing giraffes. I had an

instinct to mother and I was just

mothering everything except an actual

baby including giraffes and the wine

that was made up there at that place

Malibu Safari tested positive for Rathon

and people were getting sick

>> for Rathon. How do you test positive for

rad?

>> Okay, they tested 10 and a 2016

investigation by ABC7 News Beyond

Pesticides reported that 10 out of 10

California wines tested positive for

glyphosate.

>> Whoa,

that's nuts.

>> I'm obsessed with these sort of health

uh and wellness sort of myths and where

do they like wine's good, red wine's

good for you? Like what alcoholic like

made that popular? Remember, it's like

it's got resveratrol. It's this. It's

like the amount you would need to get

the amount of resveratrol that would

make a difference is would kill your

liver anyway. But like dark chocolate's

good for you. Like these things we just

like last

>> I think dark chocolate is good for you

though.

>> Is it?

>> Yeah. I think that's legit. I don't

think wine is necessarily bad for you. I

think alcohol is bad for you. But I

think it also loosens you up and makes

you happy, which is better for you than

being sad

>> depending on where you are, right? So,

if you were with a group of people, like

you and I and a bunch of friends went

out to dinner, we all had wine, we're

laughing our asses off, that would

probably be really good for you.

>> And it removes a little bit of the

ability to, and that was always my

thing, like I don't I've three three and

a half years off pretty much anything. I

mean, I was pregnant, I have a kid,

like, you know, I got to be focused like

a toddler is just like suicidal, like

I'm, you know. Um, but, uh, you know, I

think with at least I'll just speak for

myself, my brain, a glass of wine, I'm

just able to be present without going,

is this a good joke? What should I write

about? I It just takes off that like

sort of like interior anthropologist

narrative that is like I always have to

be categorizing things and filing things

as jokes or cross- referencing things

and you know filing things away for

future standup. And I

>> that's the thing, right? It's because

you always need new jokes.

>> It's like you're always farming

>> and when you hear something that's like

that'd be such a good premise. It's like

ah, you know, sometimes I'll just like

do what you do. I'll put it in notes to

just file it away just so that I'm not

thinking about it so much. But The only

thing that keeps me sane

>> cuz if I don't do that, if if I don't

it's going to get away from me.

>> Same.

>> I have like at least my family knows

like sometimes I'll jump up from the

dinner table and I have to run away

because I know it's slippery.

>> I'm like this idea is slippery. I'll be

right back. I got an idea.

>> Let me just write it down. Let me just

write it down.

>> I have to write it down. I come back and

I don't tell them the idea because it's

usually they're like, "What?"

>> Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Trust me, it's going

to sound bad now. No.

>> Okay. Jews Jews do run the meat. Just

let me let me flesh it out. this idea

about Jews and blacks. Um, but yeah, as

long as I'm able to write it down, then

I can be present.

>> Then you know you saved it. Neil uh

Brennan used to say that his joke book

was basically like a net for catching

ideas.

>> Love it. I have one.

>> Great idea. Great premise.

>> Promise. I have a joke like I'll write

it down in my uh like a notebook, but

I'll of course leave it somewhere and it

just looks like my suicide note. It's

just like words. That's just like

Keeles,

>> you know, aziottomy. Like it's just

crazy words. Um, but and that's the

other thing that I think having a kid

gave me that I didn't even know was

possible, which is what I thought like

weed or, you know, a glass of wine or

whatever before was I've always just

been trying to figure out how to get

present, like be in the present moment,

you know. Um, which by the way, is there

a biological basis for being in the

present moment? Probably. It's probably,

you know, was uh, you know, a detriment

back in the day. You wanted to be like

two steps ahead or this is what just

happened and like eating that berry was

bad. Like being in the present moment

probably got you killed back then. But

>> that's what they think ADHD is about.

It's about being a persistent hunter. We

have a a problem with the software that

we're running and perhaps maybe the

computer. So the last few episodes

>> Jamie, please cut my audio. Reddit will

love this episode.

>> They don't love anything.

>> Just cut me out of it.

>> There's a bunch of people I'd like to

see naked.

>> All the negative reneometers like you

guys need to go outside.

Touch grass, babes. I look at those guys

and I'm always just guys, girls,

whoever. Like I meant I go on Reddit,

but like

>> they're non-binary. All of them.

>> I always think like if we didn't get to

do what we do, would we be doing that?

>> 100%. I would. I always say that like

when people are like really mean to

celebrities online in comments, I'm

like, I would do that

>> 1,000 1 million%. If I was 16 years old

and I had a [ __ ] Twitter account, I'

Yeah, [ __ ] you.

>> Like, hey, [ __ ] Like, yeah.

>> Oh, yeah. I'd be going after everybody.

I would 100%. That was all. Especially

if I get them to respond, right?

>> I'd be like, "Woo,

I got him on the hook. Look at this."

>> And then like Kimmel would like read

negative comments on his show. Like you

can get on a show

>> is which is by the way what's happening

with like crowd work. People come to

shows now trying to get in a crowd video

>> just heckling and yelling.

>> Yeah. Yeah. Especially if the someone is

known for responding to hecklers.

>> Oh no. The first four rows are people

that are like in hair and makeup. They

have like hats on, like their tits are

out, like they're ready with they're

like, "Hey, bitch." And I'm like, "I'm

not filming this show, guys. Sorry."

>> People just want to be a part of

something.

>> Do you want to know where I'm from? It's

like, "I don't I don't care. I'm in

Austin. I know you live. I don't give a

shit." Like,

>> well, that's the weird thing about

social media and the internet in general

is that everyone has a voice now, which

is great. And it's also terrible. Yeah.

>> It's both things. It's great because

some people emerge from that voice. Just

like we were talking about memes. I some

of the hardest laughs that I get during

the day are these memes that anonymous

people have created and someone sends me

>> and I'm like same

>> and then I send them to people. I don't

know who the [ __ ] made it.

>> Can we pause one second again? I It's

now not recording the audio even though

we can hear everything. It just stopped

all of a sudden.

>> Did it record any of what we just said

cuz that was it is still going. It is

still going. It's just not

>> I'm going to trust it. It's just not

visually showing up. We'll trust it.

>> Oh boy. Sorry.

>> Having a conversation about being in the

present moment and being like, "Wait,

you didn't record that."

>> Yeah.

>> I was being so present. Damn it. Now I

have to

>> It's I I think, you know, we're in this

weird transitionary period where we have

a new technology and that allows

everyone to have a voice. And I think

overall it's very good because you have

more voices. And

>> it's just people have to discern what's

a valuable voice and what's not. And you

know, that's where I tell people, don't

read the [ __ ] comments. It's not good

for you because you're getting too many

nonvaluable voices. And if you've done a

good job of curating your environment

and curating your friend group, you've

eliminated all these people that are

really shitty and bitter and jealous and

nasty and and and

also like have no ability to look at

themselves.

>> Yeah. But also like to all my like I was

just on did Norman's podcast with Samuel

and they were talking about the comments

and I was like guys

>> like I've said worse things to you than

any of these comments. Like we're

comics. We all sit around and are so

much meaner to each other.

>> Of course we are meaner about other

comics and our oh god we worst [ __ ]

ever.

>> Totally. It's just sort of like nothing

in this comment section is worse than

what Tony Hinchiff just said to me on

the phone

in a conversation. You laughed to I just

talked to Tim Dylan for an hour. Like I

have no self-esteem left. Like this is

like a warm hug. Like my comment section

is where I go for compliments at this

point. But

>> sometimes I forget that when I'm hanging

out with normies,

>> you know, and I'll just drop a bomb.

>> Yeah. Same. Same.

>> Look at their face like, "What the [ __ ]

did you just say?" I'm like, "I thought

we were talking shit."

>> No, I No, I did that yesterday.

I was checking into the hotel and we're

in Texas. My mom's from Texas. whatever.

And this uh this dude that works there

was wearing like like cowboy boots, like

solid cowboy boots. And I was like, "Oh,

sick cowboy boots." I mean, like they're

just high heels for men, but like cool

that you guys call them like cowboy

boots. And he was just like and I was

like,

>> "Oh, you you're going to fight me." Like

this is not I can say that to like Tony

Hingcliffe because I'm always like,

"Hey, you moved to Texas so that you

could wear heels like so basically wear

cowboy boots all the time." Ah, he was

going through a period of time where

he's wearing nothing but cowboy hats and

cowboy boots on stage,

>> dude. And then like a Gucci like like

tracksuit.

>> Like name a person that that knew less

about what to do with their money than

Tony.

>> He's doing now. He's wearing vests. He

wears vests all the time. It's a

thousand degrees outside.

>> Bulletproof vest after the He was at the

Trump rally. Smart. The Puerto Ricans

have guns, homie.

>> The Puerto Ricans love him. Yeah, they

do. They really

>> If there's any group of people that are

great at talking [ __ ] it's Puerto

Ricans.

>> It's like Jennifer Lopez cut to her like

crying cuz she's like, "What are jokes?"

>> Um, but yeah, I I love

>> She doesn't count.

>> So, I have You made your will.

>> Oh, yeah.

>> Okay. So, I'm making my will soon, which

as soon as you have a kid, they're like,

"Make a will or else your craziest

family member is gonna like get your

son, you know, which and I have them."

>> And um and I am I allowed to make a fun

like I want to make like a funny will.

Like I want to give Brian Holtzman like

a million dollars just to see what he'll

do with just to look down from heaven

and just see him with like

>> he probably buy suspenders or something

>> just calf implants like just like like

seeing what Tony did with his money like

watching all these comics like Bobby Lee

he just like shows up in like women's

shoes like he'll just be in like you

know those like golden goose sneakers.

They're like $700. They're bedazzled.

>> He wears bedazzled sneakers.

>> Well they're like golden goose. Do you

know these shoes?

>> Yeah. I have a pair of golden goose.

>> Yeah. They're like shimmery with like

leopard.

>> Oh, I It's weird because Golden Goose,

they come out worn out. Like you buy I

bought them in Aspen. Yeah.

>> You buy them worn out and everybody was

really into it. I'm like they're already

pre-worn. Like this is weird.

>> It's like when you did like bought jeans

with holes in them like ahead of time.

Like

>> I never did that by the way.

>> Yeah.

>> No, that's not that's a lie. I did it

for a while and then I was like what was

wrong with me?

>> Yeah. But I I like holes in the uh uh

knees cuz you can move around more. Like

that's actually useful. always cut

holes.

>> Oh, you need to buy like stretchy jeans.

>> You know what? I did start buying

stretchy jeans and this is actually the

worst thing I've done since becoming a

mom. You just become such a dork. Except

your wife. Your wife is just like, she's

like my hero. I'm like, how do you stay?

Why are you so hot? Like, you're my mom.

You're like allowed to just look like

Rachel Matau, but you do this. Like, I

need to get back on the horse cuz I

started buying sweatpants that look like

jeans.

>> And I'm just like, what am I doing?

Like, it's just

>> Well, there's a bunch of jeans like that

that you can get now. What are those?

Oh, they're called perfect jeans.

>> Those are really good. I got a few pairs

of those. I think that's what they're

called, right? Perfect jeans.

>> Like stretchy guys.

>> Yeah, those are great. Uh Revtown.

Revtown makes a great pair. They're

great.

>> Yeah.

>> Uh barbell barbell jeans. They're nice.

>> Yeah, they're made for people with big

thighs.

>> Yeah,

>> cuz my jeans wear out in the middle

>> cuz my thighs are always rubbing

together.

>> Right. Right. Oh, like in the

>> That's where they tear open. They wear

out.

>> Yeah. I

>> I need and I need to be st I need to I

can't wear something that I can't kick

somebody in.

>> But also, [ __ ] yes. [ __ ]

>> Um, so good to be in Texas where the

real men are. That's how they think. Um,

my fiance

>> I was thinking like that always

>> all your whole life. It's so funny. My

fiance is like he's just you don't

realize till you date a like very

straight guy that you've only dated gay

guys.

>> Very straight guy.

>> Like I I always was like, "Oh, good.

Metrosexual." Like my dude, my favorite

thing to do is ask him what he's

thinking about. Not like what are you

thinking about? Like hoping it's me or

like our wedding or something. I'm just

like fascinated. I'm on the edge of my

seat. And uh it's usually like if I

could fight that guy like

>> or the Roman Empire.

>> Yeah, the My god, dude. I

>> just like jerking off thinking about

tigers tearing apart criminals. Like

what about the Roman Empire exactly?

That's so crazy when you think about it.

I mean, didn't didn't species go extinct

>> because of the Roman Empire.

>> Because of the uh coliseum fights?

>> I don't believe that's true. I I've

never heard that.

>> When I did like a tour of it, they said

that, but I'm sure they were just trying

to

>> Yeah, they're trying to juice you up.

Well, let's find out.

>> Even if they did, how could they prove

it? I guess it's

>> Well, they don't really There's a lot of

like speculation that's probably

erroneous about why certain animals went

extinct, including woolly woolly

mammoths.

>> Also, there's a lot of animals out there

that maybe you guys can't find. We

don't. Oh, yeah. We don't know. Like,

oh, okay. Not to bring up California,

but have you seen this doomsday fish?

>> What's that?

>> It's a fish that only appears when an

earthquake's about to happen.

>> Oh, great.

>> And they're and they're coming up around

Monterey in California. It's like It's

like a syringe with fins.

>> Really?

>> You know these like fish at the bottom

bottom of the ocean that we

>> Oh, and they're getting away from the

bottom cuz they feel that it's coming.

>> They're like coming up to the surface.

They're seeing

>> I've never heard of this before. But my

brain also goes like maybe they've been

around and you just haven't seen them.

But

>> that's true. It's not like we have

cameras down there 24 times. Yeah.

>> Coliseum animal fights did not clearly

drive any species to global extinction,

but they did help wipe out or severely

reduce some regional populations and

subspecies.

>> Like what?

>> Beast hunts killed animals on a huge

scale. Ancient sources describe

thousands of animals killed in single

festivals and tens of thousand over

imperial reigns. Modern historians argue

that this sustained demand contributed

to local or regional disappearances,

especially when combined with hunting,

habitat loss, and warfare. Well, that

like just what they did in America with

market hunting.

>> They almost wiped out everything.

>> Yeah.

>> In uh America because no one had ice,

right? So, you had to get meat every

day. So, they wiped out almost all deer.

>> They wiped out elk from Elk used to be

in all 50 states and now they're only in

a few.

It wiped out almost all of them.

>> And this is fascinating to me that just

the Roman coliseum thing because I think

that my brain always does whenever it's

like, "Can you believe people in the

comments are trashing Sabrina Carpet or

whatever?" It's like, "Yeah, people used

to go watch,

>> you know, people have their limbs torn

apart by lions and sit there and like

cheer and suggest they would yell out

how to kill people like that." You know,

they would go watch at the town square

people get hanged. Like this is right on

time. They'd watch people have sword

fights.

>> This is the most humane version of

publicly shaming people we've done thus

far.

>> It's just like you suck. Like that's

like

>> right. It just hurts your feelings.

>> Yeah.

>> Right. And it only hurts your feelings

if you read it.

>> But I also don't think anyone has only

made a comment on Joe Rogan or only on

mine. I don't think it's like just

personal.

>> Well, there's probably one schizophrenic

person that just concentrates on you.

>> Yeah. Oh, no. I have many of those.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

>> But there there's most people are just

>> But I don't think they're normal with

everyone else. And then, you know,

>> well, that's the argument that some

people have that I completely disagree

with, that you should, it should be your

name. Everyone should know who's posting

that and that you shouldn't be allowed

to post an anonymously. My problem with

that is that eliminates all

whistleblowing.

>> Oh, good point.

>> You know, you're working at some defense

contractor and you know they're they're

doing something horrible

>> or whatever. You're working for some oil

company and you know they're doing

something evil. No, you can't you can't

have completely anonymous. I mean, you

can't have uh only uh like recognized

accounts where you know the exact person

who's posting things because sometimes

you need to have anonymous sources

>> but also it's you know essentially like

I'm always uh interested in you know

finding the um like aquamous uh real

life version of something digital. So

it's like negative things in the comment

section. That's like being at a football

game and someone being like Tom Brady

you suck. Like he obviously doesn't

suck,

>> right?

>> You're wear you're wearing a Patriots

jersey. Like you obviously love him.

You're just like being an idiot, you

know? It's kind of like

>> How about UFC fans? Some of them are the

worst. They're like he's a [ __ ] He

fights

>> for a living.

>> Yes. Yes. Yes. You don't even

>> He fights in his underwear barefoot in a

[ __ ] cage for a living and you're

calling him a [ __ ]

>> That's right. People I mean and also

think about what it would take for you

to stop and leave a shitty comment. you

would have to be in such a dark dark

place to like need to just like throw a

stray at someone. And like I like to

think of as like a weird service. And

maybe this is just me trying to like

sublimate it into something positive

because like being a female comedian on

the internet's like pretty wild. And um

it's like I signed up to make people

happy or make people laugh or give

people some kind of escape from their

life. And if you hating me or saying

some mean [ __ ] gives you like a hit of

like great. I don't think I came into

comedy being like everyone has to love

me like that.

>> It's not possible.

>> Yeah.

>> People hate Chappelle. It's literally

not possible.

>> The people I know that take the biggest

risks and that, you know, are

polarizing. Like I think the most

interesting comics are polarizing. So if

everyone liked me, I'd probably be

pretty boring. And

>> well, there's a few people that don't

take risks that are hilarious that

aren't polarizing at all. Like Nate

Bargotti

>> or Gaffigan, but Gaffast Sebastian, but

Gaffigan got really polarizing when he

went political. A lot of people come mad

at him for that.

>> That's right.

>> But I think he was drunk.

>> Oh, interesting. He did a

>> I'm pretty sure he was drunk.

>> He likes to throw him back.

>> Was he doing online though? Wasn't he

like doing online or was he doing it

live?

>> Oh, he was on Twitter.

>> Oh, he was on Twitter

>> during the the Trump. He went crazy and

he lost like a giant chunk of fans.

People turned on him.

>> You know, he's the Hot Pockets guy and

all he's like involved in politics.

It's interesting when that that kind of

I think that as a comic like it's you

know and you do something sort of

different here but I never you know to

take a side just feels so weird. It just

feels so bizarre uh because I think it's

really our job to be able to defend the

indefensible just even as an exercise

and to you know to be able to deeply

believe that two things can be true at

once.

>> I think it's the opposite of what wokies

do with animals. So with wokies, with

animals, they're like, "Adopt, don't

shop."

>> I think with your ideas, you should shop

around. Don't adopt. Don't adopt like

all the ideas that the left has or all

the ideas that the right has. Shop

around.

>> Also, breeders are bad. So rescue a dog

from a breeder if you need to.

>> Right. Well, some look, breeders are

bad, right? Okay. I have the best

[ __ ] dog in the world, and he came

from a breeder.

>> Some are good, some are bad. Some

rescues are good. Some some of the worst

people on earth are animal rescue

people. Some of the worst people on

earth work in charities, you know.

>> That's a fact.

>> That's a fact.

>> That's a fact. Did you see the data

about the LA fire money and where it

went?

>> Did you see the data of the What was it?

How many billion was supposed to be

spent on homelessness removal?

>> 24. 24 billion. But just unaccounted

for.

>> I'm not even mad. Just tell me where it

is. How do you even hide? How do you

know? But I I want to show you this. Did

I ever send it to you, Jamie?

>> I don't know.

>> I I know. I saved it because it's so

crazy.

>> It was like there was a concert. It was

like

>> Yeah, it $100 million, but where it went

is literally absolutely nuts.

>> I'm going to find it.

>> Oh, and Jamie, did you find that

doomsday fish? I just want to make sure.

>> An article about it from 20 a couple

years ago that said it shows up when in

>> Doomsday Fish. Yeah, there was one up in

Monterey. They said that came

>> I'm obsessed with the fish that we don't

know about.

>> Okay, I just sent it to you Jamie. So,

the House Judiciary Committee

>> released a report um on the LA Fire Aid

concert. Among the findings,

>> fire aid was used I mean, this is going

to I'm sorry. It's

>> okay.

>> I don't know why I'm coughing. Fire aid

was used for activities such as voter

participation initiatives, podcast, they

give $100,000 to podcasters.

Approximately $550,000

in donations went to organizations

involved in political

>> That's moneyaundering. That's just

moneyaundering.

>> $550,000

out of 100 million. Uh $250,000 was

directed towards programs benefiting

undocumented immigrants.

Look at this. $100,000 to podcasters. I

want to know who the [ __ ] the podcasters

were that got a hundred grand.

>> Yeah. What are you talking about? Like

>> like what does that mean? Like what did

they prevent fires with that money?

$500,000 was used to cover salaries.

Bonuses. Imagine you got a bonus because

there was a fire. Consultant fees for

nonprofit.

>> If it's a nonprofit, why are you giving

it money?

>> And why are you giving them bonuses?

Half a million dollars. Okay. Uh many

worthy nonprofits did receive grants

that were used to support victims. This

report provides lessons for the

distribution of uh or the dispersement

rather of any remaining fire aid funds

go down lower because it keeps

>> a good racket. Everyone I know that

works with a charity has like two houses

like good for them because they don't

have to pay taxes either.

>> There there's sorry there's more where

they they laid all this stuff out. So

this is uh Kevin Kylie who is what is

his um congressman from California. So

he's he's outlining this because he

tried to look it up.

>> It's [ __ ] crazy.

But I mean, some of that is [ __ ]

criminal. This This one drives me nuts.

Organizations involved in political

advoc advocacy half a [ __ ] million

dollars.

>> Why is anyone advocating for politics?

Like, what does that even mean?

>> It's just stealing money.

>> That's right. That's just

moneyaundering. That's

>> That's just stealing money.

>> Wait. Fungus planting projects. What?

>> To plant fungus.

>> Fungus planting policy. What? fungus

planting projects. Just growing weed.

Yeah,

>> they're growing mushrooms. The best way

to keep people from doing this, man.

>> This is what it is, dude. It's like

literally like uh everyone that's pissed

that their house got on fire, take these

mushrooms and you will realize

materialism doesn't

>> It's all [ __ ] You're part of the

universe, man.

>> We're all connected. Like if someone

else has a house, you have a house, too.

Like

>> this is the universe telling you to get

the [ __ ] out of here.

>> I mean, it is like a lot to process. I

mean, there's a point where you're kind

of like, my brain goes like when there's

nothing you can do about it, you're

like, what do I do? Like, do I just get

mad? Do I just look away? Do I become

the person that's retweeting [ __ ] and

just being that person? Like, you know,

the things we have to kind of just

decide with our economy of bandwidth

what to be outraged about. And maybe

this is it. The idea is like, we'll

throw so much at you that you'll just

get exhausted. And

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don't think it's a plan. I think it's

just a function of the the the whole

social media

>> Yeah.

>> ecosystem.

>> But also they're like we know we're

going to get away with this. Like I just

love

>> but they're not because this guy the

congressman is looking it up. It's going

to they're they're definitely going to

talk about it. It's going to be a

problem for these people. It's going to

be a problem during re-election and it's

supposed to be. They

>> they're monsters. These people are evil.

They're really evil.

>> Like what they're doing is stealing

money from people that decided they were

going to donate money because they

thought it was a worthy cause and it

wasn't a worthy cause.

>> And also when the those fires happened,

the idea that it was like donate. It's

like, well, you were just in a fire

zone, too. We pay enough taxes in

California to not have to have charities

to donate to fire victims,

>> right?

>> Do you know what I mean? They charities

are such a scam because it's like, well,

no, this is where our taxes should be

going to stuff. We shouldn't have to

have these charities where people are

donating money to help people. They

don't have money either.

>> Well, it's a scam. And when you find out

where the money actually goes, that's

when it becomes a scam. When you find

out that the vast amount, like if you

have a hund00 million that gets donated

to legitimate charity, it's very likely

that only 30% or less is going to the

actual cause.

>> And that person doesn't pay taxes on top

of that because the charity's a tax

write off. my taxes aren't going to pay

for that cause and then you're not

paying taxes anyway and then I have to

give you extra money. It's just like

it's just such an charity culture is

just such a bizarre Does every country

have this charity culture?

>> I don't know. Well, our charity culture

is really weird because of US aid

because US aid everybody thought of as

like, oh, it's aid. We're giving aid to

all these other countries. That's

important. People are going to starve.

And then you realize like, oh no, it's

not US aid. It's US agency for

international development. So a lot of

it is about overthrowing foreign

governments. A lot of it is about

funding these NOS that are supposedly

nonprofit but people extract the money

out of them. It's a lot of money.

>> A lot of it is money laundering.

>> Fascinating dude.

>> It's so much Mike Benz is the guy to

follow on that. And Mike Benz is like

he's gone deep deep into all this [ __ ]

and uncovered an insane way. He said

that US aid is for things that are too

dirty for the CIA.

When it's too dirty for the CIA, they

send it off to a non-government

organization. That's an NGO. So an NGO

can do things that the government can't

do legally.

>> So they'll go and use this money in a

way that the our government can't do it,

but it's our government's money. So it's

your tax dollars go to do things that

the government's not allowed to do, and

the government just does it that way

through an NGO. And people profit

massively

>> and money is just flowing around and no

one knows where it goes. Like the $24

billion that went to the homeless

problem in California where it only got

worse.

>> I don't even get how you hide that much

money. I don't even get how you launder

it and hide. I mean that's like

>> it just shows you how crazy scams are in

this country. We're learning that out

about the Somali day.

>> Oh yeah, the Minnesota thing. Yeah.

>> But that's just one part of it. The

Somali daycarees in Minnesota is the tip

of the iceberg. California is way

bigger. So people are digging into the

problems in California now and they're

saying, "No, no, no. Whatever you

thought the fraud was, there was a guy

that was running a dayare, a bunch of

daycarees, he had no one already in

California. No one at his organization,

no kids, pulled up in a [ __ ]

Rolls-Royce when they were investigating

a Rolls-Royce. Couldn't even just get a

Lexus."

>> No, they can't they can't just be cool.

It's like Dane Cook's brother or

whatever who stole from him like pulled

up in like a Bugatti. It's like you

couldn't really It was like something I

think something crazy like you couldn't

have just got an Acura.

>> That's when he found out that his

brother was stealing from him.

>> I think it was like a car that pulled up

like I know what I

>> find out what what car that sunk Dan's

brother. By the way, he got out of jail

and the money's still missing.

>> Stop.

>> Yeah. He There's a a ton of money that

they never recovered.

>> He might have hid it in a coffee.

>> There's some real rich hookers in

Pensacola. I'll tell you what.

>> He might have blown through all of it,

but I'm pretty sure. I mean, you'd have

to ask Dne, but I'm pretty sure that a

lot of the money was unreovered.

>> He donated it to the LA fire victims.

Uh, yeah. It's like people that steal

like that. Like, it's like, um, from