I'm Dr. Orion Taban and this is Psych

Hacks Better Living Through Psychology.

And the topic of today's short talk is

women are dirty.

Now, I don't mean that they're

physically dirty. I mean that women's

minds are full of dirty, dark, and

twisted desires.

To be fair, men's minds are the same

way, but men already have a reputation

for this. Girls, on the other hand, are

presumed to be made of sugar and spice

and everything nice. And I'm here to

tell you that is far from the truth. So,

we can consider this an extension of an

episode I made a while back called every

woman is two women in which I attempted

to explain that every woman carries at

least two personalities inside of her.

One is the public-f facing persona that

she uses when she goes to work and rides

the bus and engages with her friends and

family. And the other is the bedroom

persona that comes to life behind closed

doors. And it's very difficult to make

accurate predictions about the bedroom

persona simply by viewing the public

facing persona. That said, we can make

some reasonable generalizations

derived from psychological truths and

observed behavior at like the population

level. When we look at these sources, we

see that women's desires are much much

more socially unacceptable than they are

typically considered to be and that

these socially unacceptable desires tend

to cluster around fairly predictable

themes.

First and foremost, let's examine what

we might consider the prototypical

feminine romantic fantasy, namely Beauty

and the Beast. Beautiful Belle explores

her Stockholm syndrome kink and falls in

love with her monstrous aggressive

captor despite his grotesque appearance.

The conventional interpretation of this

story is that the purity and patience of

Belle's love transformed the inhuman

beast into a handsome gentleman who she

was somehow able to perceive beneath the

surface. It's what's on the inside that

counts, right? But this interpretation

lacks parsimony. It's actually more

straightforward to posit that Belle fell

for beast because he's beastly. It's in

his name. Not despite the fact he was

beastly. Let's consider. We often speak

of nefarious men who see women purely as

objects of sexual conquest. Men who are

solely interested in adding another

notch in their belts, as it were.

However, this is not an exclusively

gendered practice. Women also see men as

objects of conquest, albeit potentially

a conquest of a more emotional or

psychological variety.

Women can and do desire to conquer men.

And the paramount conquest of a woman is

domesticating the bad, dangerous,

unbreakable man into her pet. I'll say

that again. The paramount conquest of a

woman is domesticating the bad,

dangerous, unbreakable man into her pet.

This is the challenge that women pine

for. They're like horse whisperers on

the lookout for the mustang no one else

can tame. This is the female equivalent

of the challenge depicted in say

dangerous liaison in which Valmont seeks

to seduce the chased and engaged Cecile.

The fact that one conquest is more or

less sexual and the other is more or

less emotional is kind of beside the

point. In fact, because it's emotional,

such a conquest is much more likely to

be complete and enduring relative to a

sexual one. And if we understand Beast's

monstrosity to be a feature, not a flaw,

with respect to Belle's attraction,

a lot of otherwise mystifying female

behavior starts to make sense. Belle is

into beastiality. I I mean, I don't know

how else to say it. She could pick any

man in a 50 mile radius, and she chose

an animal. And this, of course, is why

the story has [snorts] to end when it

does, with the transformation of beast

into a gentleman. After all, if she fell

in love with a monster, how long do you

think she'd be interested in a

gentleman?

She could have had one of those from the

get-go and spared herself all the

trouble. Belle has succeeded in her

conquest, but in so doing, she has

undermined the basis of her own

attraction. So, I don't have high hopes

for the longevity of that relationship.

We undermine the bases of our own

attraction to our own detriment. Just

like Don Juans lose interest in a woman

after they possess her physically, the

bells of the world lose interest in a

man after they possess him emotionally.

They want to tame the bad boy, but when

they succeed in doing so, they are no

longer interested in him. and they

typically have no compunction about

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Now, we have to remember that this

heartwarming tale of conquest and

beastiality is the all ages version of

the story. When we approach content that

is created exclusively for adults, we

see these themes even more clearly.

Romance novels constitute the majority

the majority of best-selling fiction

today with over 60% of Kindle best

sellers coming from that genre. a figure

that is largely driven by the popularity

of romanty books in which romance and

fantasy elements are blended together.

And who are the male protagonists in

these works of fiction?

You already know the answer. You guessed

it, monsters.

The most mainstream examples here

typically involve run-of-the-mill

monsters, creatures like vampires and

werewolves. Whereas the choice of

species grows increasingly ultra as you

make your way off the beaten path. For

instance, a very popular example these

days is Morning Glory Milking Farm in

which a young millennial woman gives

hand jobs to minotaurs in order to pay

off her student loans, eventually

falling in love with one of her

bullheaded clients.

Trust me, women's hear me outs are far

far more deviant than men's. But our

society more or less completely disavows

that these desires exist. Speak to them

directly and you're much more likely to

get slapped or hit with an HR complaint

than to find a willing and eager

participant. which is probably why women

are increasingly retreating into a

private world to satisfy them. And this

doesn't stop with textbased fantasies

that they read for the story. For

instance, women's use of pornography has

absolutely

skyrocketed in recent years. Whereas

pornography functionally used to be an

exclusively male space, women now

constitute around 40%

of all consumers of that content. It's

basically half and half. And we know

from their revealed preferences that the

types of pornography that men and women

tend to consume exhibit market

distinctions.

For example, pornography that depicts

violence against women is far far more

likely to be consumed by women than by

men. Hitting, slapping, humiliation,

even simulated rape. These are some of

the dark fantasies associated with the

kind of deep submissiveness for which

women cannot find a socially acceptable

outlet in today's day and age,

especially in a culture in which

describing women as anything other than

powerful and dominant is functionally

viewed as misogynistic.

These desires have not been

extinguished. That's not how desires

work. They have simply been pushed below

the surface into a psychic space where

even many of the women themselves do not

understand them. In any case, all of

this can be understood as a kind of

antithesis to the looks maxing trend in

many male circles today. You don't have

to go to Korea and get a facial to get

laid, my dude. Being pretty and

attractive can help you get girls. Yes.

But paradoxically,

so can being ugly and repulsive. Like

being rough, rugged, burly, beastly,

monstrous, even to the point of being

repulsive,

seems to exert a strange power over

women. This could potentially be an

artifact of sexual dimmorphism. If

prettiness signals femininity, then what

is diametrically opposite to that, in

this case, ugliness, would signal

masculinity.

As a man, you actually don't have to be

good-looking to get women. Though, of

course, it helps. And I'm going to end

this episode by putting a thought into

the minds of every man out there. My

guys, every time you get nervous about

approaching a woman, every time you

think that she is out of your league,

just remember

she has [ __ ] an uglier man than you.

So, buck up. What do you think? Does

this fit with your own experience? Let

me know in the comments below. And

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