I'm Dr. Orion Taban and this is Psych

Hacks, Better Living Through Psychology.

And the topic of today's short talk is

why the world is falling apart.

Many people today think we're

approaching the end times. They look out

through their smartphones, shake their

heads, and think, "Oh man, how did this

happen? Things are looking dire. No one

values hard work anymore. Relationships

are disposable short-term commodities.

And everywhere there's this narcissistic

entitlement that seems to want

everything and to want everything now.

What's the world coming to? It's a

common lament. Personally, I don't think

that we're nearing some kind of

extinction event. However, things are

absolutely going to change and they're

going to change very rapidly. This will

be labeled a crisis. But the shadow of

every crisis is an opportunity. Those in

society who can adapt will thrive. those

who cannot will fall by the wayside. And

this is nothing new. It's actually how

things have always ever been. It's only

in the particulars that we see any

novelty. In any case, I'm going to

explain to you why the world looks the

way that it does using a very simple

metaphor. Here it goes. Imagine that one

day you find a magic lamp. You give it a

little rub and poof, out pops a genie.

The genie says to you, "Master, thank

you so much for freeing me. As a reward,

I am willing to grant you three wishes.

No creepy catches, no strings attached.

Just tell me your heart's desire, and

quickest thought, it's yours." So far so

good. Now, when presented with this

miraculous, amazing once-ina-lifetime

opportunity, are you going to respond,

"Genie,

I really appreciate the offer. However,

I'm just not interested. Thanks, but no

thanks." You see, I just don't think

it's good and right to receive something

I strongly desire so quickly, so

cheaply, and so easily. I believe in the

value of earning the things I want in

life. I think it's also more virtuous to

sacrifice often through great effort and

over many many years to achieve my

goals. And ultimately, I'm more

concerned about cultivating virtue than

satisfying my desires. Besides, I'm

afraid that getting what I want will be

empty and meaningless unless it is

bought with my blood, sweat, and tears.

Honestly, if I don't do things the hard

way, overcoming obstacle after obstacle,

I find no fulfillment or satisfaction in

the outcome. So, unfortunately, I must

consider your offer to be a well-meaning

trap, which will only cause me to expect

that all my desires should be realized

in like fashion, without effort or

sacrifice. I must earn my happiness, so

I will respectfully decline. Like,

is that is that how you're going to

answer the genie? I seriously doubt it.

If you're like the vast majority of

people, the only compunction you're

going to feel will be over which of your

numerous desires you'll choose to

satisfy first. You will not pass up the

genie's offer. You will use all three of

your wishes and consider yourself

extraordinarily lucky. Very likely you

will even try to use some of your wishes

to get even more wishes so that you will

never not be able to realize your

desires as you see fit. Unless you would

turn down the genie.

Do not pretend to a virtue that you do

not possess.

And this in a nutshell is why the world

looks the way it does. No one turns down

the genie except instead of magic lamps,

we have very advanced technologies.

Advanced technologies that are also

accelerating at a remarkable rate. And

the ultimate end of nearly all of these

technologies is to fulfill our needs and

desires more cheaply, more safely, more

easily, and more quickly than has ever

been possible in the course of human

history. Our technologies have reached

the point where they are functionally

indistinguishable from magic. And no one

no one is going to turn down the

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Again, our technologies are magic lamps.

They satisfy needs and fulfill desires

more cheaply, more easily, more safely,

and more quickly than anyone could

possibly have dreamed even a century

ago. However, in the midst of this

unprecedented opportunity, there are

many who still believe for some reason

that it's reasonable to expect that

other people are going to turn down the

genie and perpetually resist this

effortless gratification.

And that's just not going to happen.

>> [gasps]

>> While turning down things you don't want

isn't hard, turning down things you do

is something that human beings just

weren't created to do. What the present

day has taught us and continues to teach

us is that virtue only really grows out

of necessity.

And much of what has been necessary in

the past, patience to overcome hardship,

tolerance to promote social harmony,

faith that we will taste milk and honey

in the next life has been a necessity

reframed as virtue, which is actually an

excellent psychological adaptation.

However, do we really need to have faith

that we will receive milk and honey in

the afterlife when milk and honey are so

cheaply abundant now? Do we really need

to practice tolerance when we can just

not deal with the people we dislike or

disagree with? Do we really need to

exercise patience when there's an app

for that?

There's an old Zen parable about two

masters, one of whom spends his life

learning to walk on water. When decades

later, he finally demonstrates this

amazing skill to the other. The second

master seems unimpressed.

"What good is that?" he responds. You

know, the ferry only costs a nickel. If

I want to get across the river, I take

the boat. Did you really devote your

life to solving a problem for which we

already have such an agreeable solution?

And that's the flip side of virtue and

self-denial today. It often seems

foolishly unnecessary in light of our

available solutions.

Now, some might argue that there is no

sense of fulfillment in an

accomplishment that was not secured

through effort and sacrifice. And I

would agree. However, we need to

remember that only a minority of people

are going to choose the hard way when

easier paths are available. Taking the

hard way requires, among other things, a

good deal of selfefficacy,

the belief that one can achieve one's

goals without the genie's help. It also

requires skills and competences and

virtues that are expensive and uncertain

in their acquisition. And since they are

expensive and uncertain, they will only

be pursued by those who either A already

possess the resources to support

themselves through this process or b

have no other choice. That is, mark my

words, the cultivation to virtue moving

forward will increasingly be a badge

either of privilege or necessity.

The folks in the middle will take the

easy path. And since there will always

be more people in the middle than at the

extremes, this is why things seem to be

falling apart.

All this is to say that it's easy to

look at today's world and point a

finger. However, unless you are prepared

to turn down the genie, you're actually

part of the problem you complain about.

Those who exhort a return to traditional

values and common sense may preach to

their respective choirs, but they

largely fail to grasp the deep

instinctual human tendencies that have

brought us to this point. We are

illquipped to meddle with magic and the

genie won't be going back in the bottle.

What do you think? Does this fit with

your own experience? Let me know in the

comments below. And please send this

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There's also my books, The Value of

Others, my best-selling exploration of

the economic model of relationships, and

my psychological novel, Starry Night,

where I explore the final weeks of

painter Vincent Van Go's life. There's

also my private member community, where,

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group consultation calls with a

wonderful group of folks. Check these

resources out. A lot of great value

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for listening.